Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:07,005 --> 00:01:11,365
"Home Movie"!
For "Home Movie" press one.
2
00:01:11,443 --> 00:01:13,783
For "Happy Easter"
press two.
3
00:01:13,846 --> 00:01:15,206
What are you doing?
4
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,410
For a terrible
"Thanksgiving," press three.
5
00:01:18,484 --> 00:01:20,014
You're confusing our children.
6
00:01:20,085 --> 00:01:22,375
For "Happy Kwanzaa," press five.
7
00:01:22,454 --> 00:01:24,514
I don't think so.
8
00:01:24,590 --> 00:01:25,650
Aha!
9
00:01:25,724 --> 00:01:30,134
Mm-hmm, happy Halloween.
10
00:01:31,330 --> 00:01:35,290
Mmm, fire.
11
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:38,167
Fire.
12
00:01:41,273 --> 00:01:44,943
My children have been turned
into fire-breathing dragons.
13
00:01:46,912 --> 00:01:49,572
It's your mother
and she's in a horrible mood
14
00:01:49,648 --> 00:01:51,808
and a birthday cake for you.
15
00:01:51,884 --> 00:01:54,384
You're so scary.
16
00:01:54,453 --> 00:01:59,793
Happy birthday-slash-
Halloween, Jack and Emily
17
00:01:59,858 --> 00:02:04,518
Happy birthday-
slash-Halloween to...
18
00:02:04,596 --> 00:02:08,156
Hmmm?
Oh, yes, make a wish.
19
00:02:08,233 --> 00:02:10,633
- Make a wish.
- You guys ready?
20
00:02:10,702 --> 00:02:12,332
Ready?
Blow out the candles.
21
00:02:17,276 --> 00:02:19,506
They're not blowing out.
22
00:02:20,913 --> 00:02:23,753
Oh, she got them.
Nope, they're still lit!
23
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:28,120
- Hey hey!
- Jack!
24
00:02:28,187 --> 00:02:32,207
Fire, Mmm...
25
00:02:34,293 --> 00:02:36,993
Five four three two one.
26
00:02:37,062 --> 00:02:38,932
Ready or not,
here we come!
27
00:02:38,997 --> 00:02:41,057
I'm not wearing mine either.
I'll wear yours.
28
00:02:41,133 --> 00:02:43,433
I'll wear yours. I
29
00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:47,530
- Which way does it go?
- Any way.
30
00:02:47,606 --> 00:02:50,766
No, I'm not wearing it.
31
00:02:50,842 --> 00:02:53,212
- Okay, I'm not wearing yours either.
- Here.
32
00:02:53,278 --> 00:02:55,408
- Hey, come here.
- What are you doing?
33
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,280
Oh no, oh.
34
00:02:57,349 --> 00:02:59,009
Good evening...
35
00:02:59,084 --> 00:03:02,184
...and welcome to haunted
ghost house sightings of...
36
00:03:02,254 --> 00:03:04,094
ghosts.
37
00:03:12,698 --> 00:03:15,528
They're down here.
38
00:03:32,417 --> 00:03:33,937
Ah ha ha!
39
00:03:34,019 --> 00:03:35,879
Honey, I think I know
where they are.
40
00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,624
- Where?
- Hold the camera.
41
00:03:39,558 --> 00:03:41,458
- Careful.
- Baby...
42
00:03:41,526 --> 00:03:44,646
if I don't make it back, I just want
you to know how much I... whoa!
43
00:03:46,231 --> 00:03:47,761
I'm all right... ouch!
44
00:03:47,833 --> 00:03:49,563
Are you okay?
45
00:03:49,635 --> 00:03:51,655
What is it?
46
00:03:51,737 --> 00:03:54,497
Nothing but a fire-breathing dragon.
47
00:03:56,675 --> 00:03:59,195
Nice!
48
00:03:59,278 --> 00:04:02,178
Okay, come on, guys.
49
00:04:02,247 --> 00:04:05,217
- Game over. Mommy's tired.
- Where are they?
50
00:04:05,284 --> 00:04:08,284
Aha! We found them!
51
00:04:08,353 --> 00:04:10,583
Okay, guys, come on.
Turn off the flashlights.
52
00:04:10,656 --> 00:04:12,486
Jack and Emily Poe.
53
00:04:12,557 --> 00:04:14,957
Turn off the flashlights.
54
00:04:15,027 --> 00:04:17,457
- It's not good for the camera.
- Listen to your mom, guys.
55
00:04:17,529 --> 00:04:19,959
- Come on.
- Such cooperative children.
56
00:04:20,032 --> 00:04:23,402
Turn off the flashlights
or I'll turn off the camera.
57
00:04:23,468 --> 00:04:25,828
That's better.
58
00:04:27,172 --> 00:04:29,272
Oh, you got me.
59
00:04:29,341 --> 00:04:31,371
Oh, you got me.
60
00:04:31,443 --> 00:04:34,313
Did you just bite me?
61
00:04:38,417 --> 00:04:39,747
Bringing the heat on.
62
00:04:42,154 --> 00:04:44,424
Nice!
63
00:04:44,489 --> 00:04:47,119
Fake out!
64
00:04:47,192 --> 00:04:48,922
Now batting...
65
00:04:48,994 --> 00:04:50,364
Number 31...
66
00:04:50,429 --> 00:04:52,159
Jack... Poe...
67
00:04:52,230 --> 00:04:53,930
centerfielder,
68
00:04:53,999 --> 00:04:56,129
the Connecticut Cormorant.
69
00:04:58,670 --> 00:05:00,370
All right.
70
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:04,801
Come on, you can do it!
71
00:05:08,413 --> 00:05:09,783
Nice!
72
00:05:09,848 --> 00:05:12,248
Aw, come on, Jack!
73
00:05:12,317 --> 00:05:14,437
Whoop... oh!
74
00:05:14,519 --> 00:05:16,279
Into the woods.
75
00:05:16,355 --> 00:05:18,945
- Holy cow.
- Oh, rats!
76
00:05:19,024 --> 00:05:20,754
- Nice hit, son.
- That was good!
77
00:05:20,826 --> 00:05:22,846
Good job, baby.
78
00:05:25,464 --> 00:05:28,264
Oh. Little help, hon?
79
00:05:29,301 --> 00:05:31,061
- What?
- Little help.
80
00:05:31,136 --> 00:05:32,756
- What do you mean?
- A little help!
81
00:05:32,838 --> 00:05:34,738
- You want me to get it?
- A little help.
82
00:05:34,806 --> 00:05:36,496
- You get it.
- Little help.
83
00:05:36,575 --> 00:05:38,125
- My God.
- A little help.
84
00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:40,240
Do I have to do
everything around here?
85
00:05:40,312 --> 00:05:42,082
I'm the pitcher.
My arm, my leg...
86
00:05:42,147 --> 00:05:44,617
- they gotta relax and rest.
- Your arm? My arm.
87
00:05:44,683 --> 00:05:46,883
- Come on, hon.
- I got it... okay.
88
00:05:46,952 --> 00:05:49,322
Okay...
89
00:05:49,388 --> 00:05:52,588
Yay. Oops,
got some woods here.
90
00:05:52,657 --> 00:05:54,117
Hurry up, hon!
91
00:05:54,192 --> 00:05:56,322
I think I found
some poison ivy.
92
00:05:56,395 --> 00:05:59,055
Makes sense.
93
00:05:59,131 --> 00:06:03,261
And I just saw
a jackal... that's good.
94
00:06:03,335 --> 00:06:05,425
Poison ivy, more snakes
95
00:06:05,504 --> 00:06:07,634
and a jackal.
96
00:06:07,706 --> 00:06:09,766
I'm, like,
so glad we just moved
97
00:06:09,841 --> 00:06:11,601
to the middle of nowhere.
98
00:06:14,513 --> 00:06:16,853
Hey, Em!
99
00:06:16,915 --> 00:06:18,705
Have you seen
your dad's ball?
100
00:06:20,652 --> 00:06:22,482
Okay, well, um...
101
00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,954
I'm gonna go look over here.
102
00:06:33,398 --> 00:06:36,028
I thought you said
you didn't see it.
103
00:06:39,504 --> 00:06:43,914
Listen, how about I shoot
your guys's clubhouse, huh?
104
00:06:43,975 --> 00:06:47,135
That might be cool for you guys to look
back at when you're older, right?
105
00:06:49,581 --> 00:06:53,181
"No parents allowed." Hmm.
106
00:06:53,251 --> 00:06:57,621
Is that all parents
or is that just me and your dad?
107
00:06:59,624 --> 00:07:01,994
Ah. Okay.
108
00:07:02,060 --> 00:07:04,190
Well...
109
00:07:04,262 --> 00:07:06,392
I'm gonna go
watch the game.
110
00:07:06,465 --> 00:07:08,755
Do you want to come?
111
00:07:08,834 --> 00:07:10,504
You can ride in the wagon.
112
00:07:14,039 --> 00:07:16,059
Are you playing dead?
113
00:07:16,141 --> 00:07:18,081
Again, right here.
114
00:07:18,143 --> 00:07:20,303
It's going right there.
115
00:07:20,378 --> 00:07:22,898
I love the zoom on this.
116
00:07:22,981 --> 00:07:24,411
Zoom!
117
00:07:26,651 --> 00:07:28,521
Oh, big swing and a miss.
118
00:07:28,587 --> 00:07:31,177
The big fella...
notice the form though?
119
00:07:31,256 --> 00:07:32,946
- Very nice.
- See that?
120
00:07:33,024 --> 00:07:34,724
Make a smiley face.
121
00:07:34,793 --> 00:07:36,323
Good job.
122
00:07:40,665 --> 00:07:43,125
- I'll take that. I'll take that.
- Whoa!
123
00:07:45,036 --> 00:07:47,396
High-five, put it there.
All right, thank you.
124
00:07:47,472 --> 00:07:50,372
Come on, Em!
Give your dad a hand!
125
00:07:50,442 --> 00:07:52,772
- Yeah!
- Home run.
126
00:07:52,844 --> 00:07:55,114
Whoo!
Good, baby, good.
127
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:57,240
Watch this guy.
128
00:07:58,450 --> 00:08:00,040
One more,
one more, one more.
129
00:08:06,458 --> 00:08:08,948
- Whoop!
- What was that, a rock?
130
00:08:09,027 --> 00:08:10,997
What?
131
00:08:14,799 --> 00:08:17,229
What?
What's the matter?
132
00:08:17,302 --> 00:08:18,832
- We're done.
- What happened?
133
00:08:18,904 --> 00:08:20,394
- He's throwing rocks at me.
- What?!
134
00:08:23,475 --> 00:08:24,835
Du-duh!
135
00:08:28,847 --> 00:08:31,177
Du-duh!
Du-duh! Du-duh!
136
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:32,979
Du-duh! Du-duh!
Du-duh!
137
00:08:33,051 --> 00:08:37,611
Today we're going to learn
about the ancient art of raking.
138
00:08:37,689 --> 00:08:40,659
Raking was first discovered
139
00:08:40,725 --> 00:08:44,525
by a Chinese mountain
task force in 1802.
140
00:08:46,398 --> 00:08:49,228
My lovely assistant Jack Poe
141
00:08:49,301 --> 00:08:51,901
is raking today because
he's being punished for throwing
142
00:08:51,970 --> 00:08:53,870
a rock at his dad's head.
143
00:08:57,475 --> 00:08:59,495
What you got, Jack?
144
00:09:02,347 --> 00:09:03,907
A dead bug.
145
00:09:03,982 --> 00:09:07,322
This is where we employ
the notorious garbage bag technique.
146
00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:10,445
And there you have it, kids.
That's our lesson for today:
147
00:09:10,522 --> 00:09:14,152
Dead things go in trash bags.
148
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:19,924
Love is in the air, can you feel it?
149
00:09:20,966 --> 00:09:22,156
Hmmm? Yes?
150
00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:24,833
Don't let me
keep you up. Okay.
151
00:09:24,903 --> 00:09:27,303
It's Friday,
November 9th, 10:30 PM.
152
00:09:27,372 --> 00:09:30,972
It's Clare and I's
10th wedding anniversary...
153
00:09:31,042 --> 00:09:35,142
and I'm gonna go
attempt a most dangerous stunt.
154
00:09:35,213 --> 00:09:38,273
But before I go,
in case I don't come back,
155
00:09:38,350 --> 00:09:41,550
Jack, I want you to know
how much I love you.
156
00:09:41,620 --> 00:09:45,280
And, Emily, I love you
very very much too.
157
00:09:45,357 --> 00:09:48,687
So, um, well...
158
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,730
this stunt is most dangerous.
159
00:09:50,795 --> 00:09:52,695
I wouldn't have anybody,
uh, attempt it
160
00:09:52,764 --> 00:09:55,104
if you're amateur
or if you're faint of heart.
161
00:09:55,166 --> 00:09:57,456
I'm gonna go try and jump
162
00:09:57,535 --> 00:10:01,895
all 206 of my wife's bones.
163
00:10:04,142 --> 00:10:06,302
Okay, bye. Wish me luck.
164
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:15,685
Oh... shit!
165
00:10:54,959 --> 00:10:57,619
Great. Give me this.
166
00:10:57,696 --> 00:10:59,596
Happy anniversary.
167
00:10:59,664 --> 00:11:01,564
You better not have
the camera in here!
168
00:11:01,633 --> 00:11:04,123
I don't have the camera in here.
What do you think I am, a pervert?
169
00:11:04,202 --> 00:11:06,362
Yeah!
170
00:11:09,207 --> 00:11:12,567
"'The Mask of Sanity, '
by Hervey M Cleckley."
171
00:11:12,644 --> 00:11:15,844
Some people
have booze. My wife has books.
172
00:11:15,914 --> 00:11:18,914
- Ah... come here.
- No!
173
00:11:18,983 --> 00:11:21,683
- Cheese plate?
- That's a cheese plate?
174
00:11:21,753 --> 00:11:24,723
- Yes, and that's a box of wine.
- I'm not drinking wine
175
00:11:24,789 --> 00:11:27,489
- that comes out of a box.
- Kiss me, elitist.
176
00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:29,819
I am not an elitist.
177
00:11:29,894 --> 00:11:31,624
Come on, I just moved
our family here
178
00:11:31,696 --> 00:11:33,426
to the middle
of the woods six months ago.
179
00:11:33,498 --> 00:11:35,358
- I'm not an elitist.
- You're an elitist.
180
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:36,963
Kiss me, elitist.
181
00:11:37,035 --> 00:11:39,555
Mmm, this cheese isn't bad.
182
00:11:39,637 --> 00:11:42,537
- Are you seducing me?
- Huh-uh, I would never do such a thing.
183
00:11:44,642 --> 00:11:47,112
Well, um, it's too bad for you.
184
00:11:47,178 --> 00:11:51,138
I can't have sex right now
because I have a lot of work to do.
185
00:11:51,216 --> 00:11:54,906
- You always have work to do.
- Yeah, so we have money to spend.
186
00:11:54,986 --> 00:11:57,276
- Right.
- Money to spend.
187
00:11:59,891 --> 00:12:02,121
Isn't this how
the Paris Hilton video got started?
188
00:12:02,193 --> 00:12:04,723
No, I think it was...
189
00:12:04,796 --> 00:12:07,696
Oh, you... bastard!
190
00:12:07,766 --> 00:12:10,926
Oh, where's my towel?!
191
00:12:11,002 --> 00:12:14,962
Oh!
You are dead!
192
00:12:15,039 --> 00:12:16,799
- You are so bad.
- Bad...
193
00:12:16,875 --> 00:12:19,565
do you mean like
"bad good" or "bad bad"?
194
00:12:19,644 --> 00:12:21,444
I mean like bad,
nasty, evil bad.
195
00:12:21,513 --> 00:12:23,573
You're supposed to be
a pastor, you know.
196
00:12:23,648 --> 00:12:25,448
Yeah, I'm Lutheran,
not a Catholic.
197
00:12:25,517 --> 00:12:27,677
Well, I am a doctor,
not a whore.
198
00:12:27,752 --> 00:12:29,652
Say happy anniversary...
199
00:12:29,721 --> 00:12:32,161
- to the camera, will you?
- No.
200
00:12:32,223 --> 00:12:34,383
So we have something
to remember when we're old,
201
00:12:34,459 --> 00:12:36,859
decrepit and farting
all over each other.
202
00:12:36,928 --> 00:12:40,058
We're not gonna be farting
all over each other. That's disgusting!
203
00:12:40,131 --> 00:12:41,811
We're gonna be farting
all over each other.
204
00:12:41,866 --> 00:12:43,586
We're gonna die
in a conflagration of farts.
205
00:12:43,601 --> 00:12:45,731
- Yeah, your farts.
- Somebody's gonna light a match
206
00:12:45,804 --> 00:12:46,964
and we're gonna go...
207
00:12:47,038 --> 00:12:48,198
Not my farts.
208
00:12:48,273 --> 00:12:51,403
Come on, say happy anniversary
to the camera for posterity's sake.
209
00:12:51,476 --> 00:12:54,166
Happy anniversary. And now
you can take the camera out of here
210
00:12:54,245 --> 00:12:57,535
because it is supposed to be for my work
because I've spent a lot of money on it.
211
00:12:57,615 --> 00:13:00,975
I thought it was supposed
to be soft-core porn?
212
00:13:01,052 --> 00:13:03,582
No?
213
00:13:05,890 --> 00:13:08,450
- I can't believe...
- I can't believe how sexy you are.
214
00:13:10,628 --> 00:13:12,688
Take your clothes off.
215
00:13:12,764 --> 00:13:14,734
I thought you'd never ask!
216
00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:18,227
Get in here.
217
00:13:20,238 --> 00:13:23,168
Is that the dog?
218
00:13:23,241 --> 00:13:26,681
- Why does he always do this?
- Hegel, fermez la bouche.
219
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,510
David,
please, with the camera.
220
00:13:30,582 --> 00:13:32,712
I feel like I'm on
"The Real World" or something.
221
00:13:32,784 --> 00:13:34,624
"The Real World"?
222
00:13:38,489 --> 00:13:41,359
Where's Emily?
223
00:13:44,262 --> 00:13:47,602
Oh, isn't that
the most precious thing?
224
00:13:47,665 --> 00:13:51,255
It's not precious. It's weird.
225
00:13:51,336 --> 00:13:53,856
It's not weird...
the two of them in bed together?
226
00:13:53,938 --> 00:13:55,528
They're getting too old for this.
227
00:13:55,607 --> 00:13:57,467
It's the cutest thing
I've ever seen.
228
00:14:10,555 --> 00:14:13,575
"The Story
of the Dragon and the Paper Bag,"
229
00:14:13,658 --> 00:14:16,088
by Micky Powell.
230
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:20,650
"Once upon a time,
in a land far far away,
231
00:14:20,732 --> 00:14:25,192
there lived the most hideous
two-headed dragon
232
00:14:25,270 --> 00:14:28,240
in all of history.
233
00:14:28,306 --> 00:14:31,366
And this dragon had
this dream of eating
234
00:14:31,442 --> 00:14:34,172
all the boys
and all the girls in town.
235
00:14:34,245 --> 00:14:37,365
In fact,
'twas more than a dream...
236
00:14:37,448 --> 00:14:39,678
'twas a plan.
237
00:14:39,751 --> 00:14:43,051
On Halloween next,
when all the boys and all the girls
238
00:14:43,121 --> 00:14:46,421
wear their paper-bag masks
to school,
239
00:14:46,491 --> 00:14:50,521
the dragon decided that he was going
to wear his own paper-bag mask.
240
00:14:50,595 --> 00:14:52,425
And, thus disguised,
241
00:14:52,497 --> 00:14:55,587
he set forth
for the schoolyard.
242
00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:59,187
On the schoolyard,
the schoolkids were surprised
243
00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:01,570
by the sight
of their new student.
244
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:03,829
'You're too tall, ' they said.
245
00:15:03,908 --> 00:15:07,068
'You have two heads, '
said another child.
246
00:15:07,145 --> 00:15:11,605
'You can't be one of us.
You must be the dragon. '
247
00:15:11,683 --> 00:15:14,383
'Trust me, '
the dragon answered,
248
00:15:14,452 --> 00:15:17,082
'I'm one of you. '
249
00:15:17,155 --> 00:15:19,915
'Oh, yeah?
Prove it, ' they said.
250
00:15:19,991 --> 00:15:22,191
'Take off your mask. '
251
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:25,660
The dragon knew that
that was something that he couldn't do.
252
00:15:25,730 --> 00:15:29,170
'What I can do, ' he said,
'is talk like you.
253
00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:32,333
I can walk like you.
254
00:15:32,403 --> 00:15:36,673
Shoot, I can even
dance like you. '
255
00:15:36,741 --> 00:15:40,041
'Do it, ' said the children.
256
00:15:40,111 --> 00:15:43,271
And, indeed,
the dragon walked,
257
00:15:43,348 --> 00:15:47,308
talked and danced just like
he was one of them.
258
00:15:47,385 --> 00:15:50,245
And the children
were so convinced
259
00:15:50,321 --> 00:15:53,521
that they invited him to sing
their songs with them.
260
00:15:53,591 --> 00:15:56,061
They invited him
to play in their games.
261
00:15:56,127 --> 00:15:57,987
And when the bell rang
for lunch,
262
00:15:58,062 --> 00:16:01,052
they invited him
inside to eat with them.
263
00:16:01,132 --> 00:16:03,602
'Thanks, ' said the dragon,
264
00:16:03,668 --> 00:16:06,428
'but I prefer to eat outside. '
265
00:16:06,504 --> 00:16:09,414
'Outside? ' says the children.
266
00:16:09,474 --> 00:16:12,714
'But whatever will you eat? '
267
00:16:12,777 --> 00:16:16,767
The dragon responded, 'You. '
268
00:16:16,848 --> 00:16:18,708
And with that,
269
00:16:18,783 --> 00:16:21,913
the dragon took off
his paper-bag mask,
270
00:16:21,986 --> 00:16:25,476
revealing
the two hideous heads.
271
00:16:25,556 --> 00:16:27,986
The children
started to scream,
272
00:16:28,059 --> 00:16:32,999
but their screams were soon swallowed
inside the dragon's stomach."
273
00:16:39,170 --> 00:16:40,900
That was perhaps the most
274
00:16:40,972 --> 00:16:43,962
vastly inappropriate
fairy tale I've ever heard.
275
00:16:44,042 --> 00:16:48,382
Hon, it's an allegory
276
00:16:48,446 --> 00:16:53,146
for, you know,
"Don't trust strangers."
277
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:58,053
Good night, Steven.
278
00:16:58,122 --> 00:17:00,892
Good night, Lou.
279
00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:04,218
Good night, Nikolai...
280
00:17:04,295 --> 00:17:06,855
commie bastard.
281
00:17:29,287 --> 00:17:32,017
Hello, my name
is Dr. Clare Poe.
282
00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:35,250
It is the 10th
of November, 2006.
283
00:17:35,326 --> 00:17:38,056
This is video diary number one.
284
00:17:38,129 --> 00:17:42,029
Patient's name: Billy Tomlinson, 11,
285
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,360
diagnosed with prodromal VEOS
286
00:17:44,435 --> 00:17:46,395
at the Children's Hospital
in Philadelphia,
287
00:17:46,471 --> 00:17:49,871
where I am currently chief resident
of the child psychiatry unit.
288
00:17:49,941 --> 00:17:54,141
Patient meets all diagnostic criteria,
including disorganized speech,
289
00:17:54,212 --> 00:17:58,112
alogia, catatonic features
and persistent delusions,
290
00:17:58,182 --> 00:18:02,482
with no fewer than three hallucinatory
episodes in the past three months,
291
00:18:02,553 --> 00:18:04,283
in which Billy claimed
there was, quote,
292
00:18:04,355 --> 00:18:07,255
"a man made of nails"
living under his bed.
293
00:18:07,325 --> 00:18:10,155
10mg Abilify,
294
00:18:10,228 --> 00:18:11,818
10mg Loxapine.
295
00:18:11,896 --> 00:18:15,796
In less than a week,
this binary treatment
296
00:18:15,867 --> 00:18:18,457
vanquished Billy's delusions,
297
00:18:18,536 --> 00:18:20,936
sending this "man made of nails"
298
00:18:21,005 --> 00:18:24,335
back to whatever synapse
misfiring he came from.
299
00:18:24,408 --> 00:18:27,568
Scheduled appointment,
including blood work,
300
00:18:27,645 --> 00:18:29,405
for next Tuesday, the 14th.
301
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:29,640
Hi. It's November 18th.
302
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,550
Hi. It's November 18th.
303
00:18:32,617 --> 00:18:36,547
I'm your host David Poe,
and this is "America's Funniest,
304
00:18:36,621 --> 00:18:38,781
Most Embarrassing
Home Videos."
305
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:43,316
Today the kids have
their Thanksgiving Day party at school.
306
00:18:43,394 --> 00:18:46,454
Mom's dressed them as something.
We're gonna find out what.
307
00:18:46,531 --> 00:18:49,801
You guys look
so cute, I'm gonna vomit.
308
00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:57,170
The follies of youth
are fast forgotten, not to worry.
309
00:18:57,241 --> 00:19:00,271
Unless, of course,
Dad happens to be filming them.
310
00:19:00,344 --> 00:19:02,374
Listen to you.
311
00:19:02,446 --> 00:19:04,436
Honey, did you make
your own lunch?
312
00:19:04,515 --> 00:19:07,135
- I'm sorry, you look great.
- They look great!
313
00:19:07,218 --> 00:19:09,238
Fantastic, absolutely.
314
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,480
What did you make?
That's... come on, please...
315
00:19:12,557 --> 00:19:15,317
Give them a break.
Did you make bologna?
316
00:19:15,393 --> 00:19:18,793
No? PB&J?
317
00:19:18,863 --> 00:19:22,263
No? Well...
318
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:24,633
why don't we just see
what our little man
319
00:19:24,702 --> 00:19:27,542
is bringing to the fourth grade
Thanksgiving feast, huh?
320
00:19:29,373 --> 00:19:32,173
If he can make a sandwich,
I think you can every once in a while.
321
00:19:32,243 --> 00:19:35,083
- No, I can't.
- I'm sorry.
322
00:19:40,151 --> 00:19:42,621
- What'd you make, Jack?
- Oh!
323
00:19:58,302 --> 00:20:00,172
Hey, boy.
324
00:20:04,408 --> 00:20:08,368
On this episode of "Clare Poe:
Turkey Proctologist Extraordinaire,"
325
00:20:08,446 --> 00:20:11,896
we... ooh, "Rectum?
Damn near killed 'em!"
326
00:20:11,983 --> 00:20:14,353
Huh? Huh?
327
00:20:14,418 --> 00:20:16,608
Jack! Emily!
328
00:20:16,687 --> 00:20:18,747
I'll get 'em.
329
00:20:24,762 --> 00:20:26,992
Come on, guys,
it's time to eat.
330
00:20:27,064 --> 00:20:29,564
Your mom's been working
on this turkey all day.
331
00:20:35,773 --> 00:20:37,713
Some apples?
332
00:20:37,775 --> 00:20:39,735
Looks really good,
doesn't it?
333
00:20:45,216 --> 00:20:47,506
Dear Lord...
334
00:20:49,954 --> 00:20:52,864
Thank you.
335
00:20:52,923 --> 00:20:56,123
Thank you for providing us
this most bountiful feast.
336
00:20:56,193 --> 00:20:59,293
Most importantly, we thank you
for providing us with each other,
337
00:20:59,363 --> 00:21:03,803
with love,
for this Thanksgiving
338
00:21:03,868 --> 00:21:05,598
we owe to You,
339
00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:10,470
our most trusted
and holy God.
340
00:21:10,541 --> 00:21:15,101
Thank you for my wife,
my beautiful wife,
341
00:21:15,179 --> 00:21:18,049
thank you for my children
342
00:21:18,115 --> 00:21:21,735
and thank you for this life,
which is indeed blessed.
343
00:21:21,819 --> 00:21:24,479
So let us pray.
344
00:21:27,191 --> 00:21:30,421
Dear blessed Lord,
we thank you for the gifts that you...
345
00:21:32,663 --> 00:21:35,103
What was that?
346
00:21:35,166 --> 00:21:39,186
That was your children
being disrespectful.
347
00:21:42,239 --> 00:21:44,999
Well, we're not gonna eat
this turkey until they pray.
348
00:21:48,579 --> 00:21:51,239
- Okay.
- All right.
349
00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:56,420
Dear blessed Lord, thank you for the
gifts that you have provided for us...
350
00:22:00,458 --> 00:22:02,648
What are you guys doing?
351
00:22:05,129 --> 00:22:07,429
- Let's just eat, okay?
- I'm serious.
352
00:22:07,498 --> 00:22:12,228
We are not gonna eat
until you pray.
353
00:22:12,303 --> 00:22:14,603
David, come on.
354
00:22:21,779 --> 00:22:25,439
Dear blessed Lord,
please give us Your...
355
00:22:43,334 --> 00:22:45,634
...that you have provided for us...
356
00:22:45,703 --> 00:22:49,543
What are you guys doing?
357
00:22:54,412 --> 00:22:58,212
Hi, I'm Boy Scout leader
David Poe
358
00:22:58,282 --> 00:23:00,222
and you're gonna learn
about an ancient art today
359
00:23:00,284 --> 00:23:02,484
called lock picking.
360
00:23:02,553 --> 00:23:04,183
You won't find it in the manual,
361
00:23:04,255 --> 00:23:06,045
but you will
find it here. Come on.
362
00:23:06,123 --> 00:23:09,423
All right? Bobby pin?
363
00:23:14,298 --> 00:23:16,558
Got it. Okay now, Jack,
first thing you wanna do:
364
00:23:16,634 --> 00:23:18,634
Open up said bobby pin,
365
00:23:18,702 --> 00:23:21,002
peel off the little rubber bit...
366
00:23:22,907 --> 00:23:24,527
put it into the lock like so.
367
00:23:25,910 --> 00:23:28,340
All right, make three circles
counterclockwise
368
00:23:28,412 --> 00:23:31,352
until you feel it...
Go like that.
369
00:23:32,683 --> 00:23:35,353
There you go.
370
00:23:38,823 --> 00:23:41,193
And lock picked.
371
00:23:41,258 --> 00:23:43,248
Slide it to the left.
372
00:23:46,464 --> 00:23:48,234
Okay, this is
the one-handed bowline.
373
00:23:48,299 --> 00:23:50,889
It's a very important knot,
maybe the most essential knot.
374
00:23:50,968 --> 00:23:52,938
It's un-get-out-of-able,
un-undoable
375
00:23:53,003 --> 00:23:55,473
unless of course you wanna undo it
and you have two hands.
376
00:23:55,539 --> 00:23:58,099
I'm gonna show you how
to do it with one hand. Ready?
377
00:23:58,175 --> 00:24:01,575
Go like this...
go around the tree.
378
00:24:07,218 --> 00:24:10,648
And that right there
is a bowline, all right?
379
00:24:10,721 --> 00:24:13,451
I want you to do one.
Give me one second.
380
00:24:14,792 --> 00:24:18,092
Emily, you watching?
381
00:24:18,162 --> 00:24:21,102
Look at that. There he is.
382
00:24:21,165 --> 00:24:22,495
There's old Nikolai.
383
00:24:36,881 --> 00:24:39,651
Perfect.
384
00:24:39,717 --> 00:24:41,577
Dad's,
385
00:24:41,652 --> 00:24:44,142
Jack's.
386
00:24:44,221 --> 00:24:46,621
Perfect!
387
00:24:46,690 --> 00:24:48,660
Did you see that?
388
00:24:48,726 --> 00:24:51,246
Emily, you're next.
Are you ready?
389
00:25:04,174 --> 00:25:07,444
I scream, you scream.
We all scream for... ow!
390
00:25:07,511 --> 00:25:09,741
A little help.
391
00:25:09,813 --> 00:25:12,613
I thought you were
going jogging.
392
00:25:12,683 --> 00:25:15,553
I did. I was.
For about three miles.
393
00:25:15,619 --> 00:25:18,949
So I'm out there
in the middle of the woods
394
00:25:19,023 --> 00:25:20,963
and I took a left where I usually...
395
00:25:21,025 --> 00:25:23,215
anyways, there's this
inlet road there,
396
00:25:23,294 --> 00:25:26,994
and off in the distance
I heard this music, right?
397
00:25:27,064 --> 00:25:29,564
And it's weird,
but it sounds familiar,
398
00:25:29,633 --> 00:25:34,003
so I jog a little closer
and I see this truck,
399
00:25:34,071 --> 00:25:37,341
this ice-cream truck.
And I flagged him down.
400
00:25:37,408 --> 00:25:40,668
He was coming toward me and I say,
"Hey, man, listen, it's a little loud
401
00:25:40,744 --> 00:25:42,874
at 7:00 in the morning
for you to be playing the music
402
00:25:42,947 --> 00:25:44,707
the way you're playing it.
403
00:25:44,782 --> 00:25:47,622
Would you mind turning it down
a little?" He says, "No problem."
404
00:25:47,685 --> 00:25:50,585
Real nice guy,
and he gives me two ice-cream cones.
405
00:25:50,654 --> 00:25:52,184
How about that?
406
00:25:52,256 --> 00:25:55,016
I know you don't generally have
ice cream before you go to school,
407
00:25:55,092 --> 00:25:56,722
but today's an exception.
408
00:25:56,794 --> 00:25:59,194
Our kids don't deserve
ice cream right now.
409
00:25:59,263 --> 00:26:01,703
They deserve a lecture
from their father
410
00:26:01,765 --> 00:26:03,665
because what they did was wrong.
411
00:26:03,734 --> 00:26:06,464
I know you're right. I've been
thinking about that.
412
00:26:06,537 --> 00:26:09,097
Here's what I thought.
413
00:26:09,173 --> 00:26:11,663
Why don't we make a movie?
414
00:26:11,742 --> 00:26:14,612
Spend more family time together?
415
00:26:20,317 --> 00:26:23,247
John, Paul...
416
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,720
and George.
417
00:26:25,789 --> 00:26:28,309
Sorry, Ringo!
Come on, guys, let's go!
418
00:26:28,392 --> 00:26:32,622
Perfectly decent Christmas trees just
waiting for us to put an axe in them!
419
00:26:32,696 --> 00:26:35,596
There you go.
It's chilly
420
00:26:35,666 --> 00:26:38,066
Scarf on...
oh, please!
421
00:26:38,135 --> 00:26:40,125
Who loves you?
422
00:26:40,204 --> 00:26:42,974
Do you love me? Hmm?
423
00:26:45,476 --> 00:26:50,236
Sleep in heavenly peace...
424
00:26:53,450 --> 00:26:56,280
Ruh-roh.
425
00:27:01,558 --> 00:27:05,318
What are you guys saying?
426
00:27:05,396 --> 00:27:08,556
Doing that thing they do.
427
00:27:08,632 --> 00:27:11,502
I don't like that thing.
It's like their own language.
428
00:27:14,071 --> 00:27:15,941
Stop that, okay?
429
00:27:16,006 --> 00:27:18,296
Can you show me what
you're drawing?
430
00:27:18,375 --> 00:27:21,635
You guys, secrets aren't nice.
431
00:27:21,712 --> 00:27:23,652
Honey, secrets are essential.
432
00:27:23,714 --> 00:27:26,884
Our children work
for the Honduras CIA Task Force.
433
00:27:26,950 --> 00:27:29,710
Where am I turning?
434
00:27:29,787 --> 00:27:32,117
I don't know,
just turn up there somewhere.
435
00:27:32,189 --> 00:27:34,159
- Shouldn't there be a sign?
- I don't know.
436
00:27:34,224 --> 00:27:36,284
We live in the middle
of the woods, we don't need a sign
437
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:39,350
- to tell us where the trees are.
- Okay, I just farted.
438
00:27:39,430 --> 00:27:40,800
Ho ho ho!
439
00:27:40,864 --> 00:27:42,994
Hey hey!
No running with the saw!
440
00:27:43,067 --> 00:27:45,327
Christmas tree farm!
441
00:27:45,402 --> 00:27:48,032
- How could you let Jack carry a saw?
- Trees of all sizes!
442
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,710
I carried a saw.
My dad let me when I was 10 years old.
443
00:27:52,776 --> 00:27:55,606
- It's like a coming-of-age thing.
- It's dangerous.
444
00:27:55,679 --> 00:27:57,839
Hey, how 'bout this one?
445
00:27:59,283 --> 00:28:02,283
That tree's, like, anorexic.
446
00:28:02,352 --> 00:28:04,952
- You're a pastor.
- "American Idol," look out.
447
00:28:06,457 --> 00:28:10,717
The first noel
448
00:28:10,794 --> 00:28:13,924
The angels did sing...
449
00:28:13,997 --> 00:28:16,017
That's almost kind of scary.
450
00:28:16,100 --> 00:28:19,160
La la la la la la la
451
00:28:19,236 --> 00:28:24,066
You're my everything.
452
00:28:33,117 --> 00:28:35,137
"And Cain...
453
00:28:35,219 --> 00:28:39,019
and Cain said to Abel, his brother,
'Let us go out in the field. '
454
00:28:39,089 --> 00:28:42,319
And when they were
in the field, Cain rose up
455
00:28:42,392 --> 00:28:45,952
against his brother Abel
and killed him.
456
00:28:46,029 --> 00:28:49,689
Then the Lord said to Cain,
457
00:28:49,767 --> 00:28:52,737
'Where is Abel your brother? '
458
00:28:52,803 --> 00:28:55,773
He said, 'I do not know.
Am I my brother's keeper? '
459
00:28:55,839 --> 00:28:58,069
And the Lord said,
'What have you done?"'
460
00:28:59,510 --> 00:29:01,600
"So...
461
00:29:01,678 --> 00:29:05,308
so... so...
so this Christmas...
462
00:29:08,886 --> 00:29:11,406
let's do more than
just open gifts.
463
00:29:11,488 --> 00:29:13,418
Because we are...
464
00:29:13,490 --> 00:29:15,820
all of us...
our brother's keeper.
465
00:29:19,630 --> 00:29:22,220
Let's follow
in Christ's footsteps.
466
00:29:22,299 --> 00:29:24,599
Let's...
467
00:29:24,668 --> 00:29:28,098
Let's fight evil on
a daily basis because then,
468
00:29:28,172 --> 00:29:30,702
and only then,
469
00:29:30,774 --> 00:29:32,804
can we call ourselves
Christians,
470
00:29:32,876 --> 00:29:36,736
worthy in the eyes
of the Lord."
471
00:29:38,549 --> 00:29:41,379
No one wants to hear
this shit on Christmas Eve.
472
00:29:41,451 --> 00:29:44,281
You just suck.
473
00:29:48,325 --> 00:29:50,885
You suck...
474
00:29:50,961 --> 00:29:53,731
so so much.
475
00:29:57,534 --> 00:29:59,974
You suck.
476
00:30:02,506 --> 00:30:06,466
Ah, hey!
Beautiful! You did it!
477
00:30:06,543 --> 00:30:09,213
- We have connection?
- We have connection.
478
00:30:09,279 --> 00:30:12,039
- Tell me, Santa.
- Anything, little girl.
479
00:30:12,115 --> 00:30:14,875
What is the secret
to your gluteal success?
480
00:30:14,952 --> 00:30:17,112
Santa uses
a Stairmaster, baby.
481
00:30:17,187 --> 00:30:20,157
Mmm, nice, I like it.
482
00:30:20,224 --> 00:30:23,354
- Eww, no presents for you!
- Ho ho ho!
483
00:30:23,427 --> 00:30:25,187
Ho ho ho!
484
00:30:25,262 --> 00:30:28,322
Come on, guys!
485
00:30:28,398 --> 00:30:29,988
Rise and shine!
486
00:30:30,067 --> 00:30:32,867
It's a gastrointestinal Christmas!
487
00:30:32,936 --> 00:30:36,026
You're all invited to participate.
488
00:30:36,106 --> 00:30:38,766
Did you bring
your whoopee cushion?
489
00:30:38,842 --> 00:30:41,242
All right, guys,
who's ready for Christmas?
490
00:30:41,311 --> 00:30:44,511
- All right, it's Christmas time!
- Yeah.
491
00:30:44,581 --> 00:30:46,481
What do we have here?
492
00:30:46,550 --> 00:30:48,180
- What is this?
- Presents!
493
00:30:48,252 --> 00:30:51,282
Open 'em up.
Let's see what we got.
494
00:30:53,790 --> 00:30:55,190
Oh my God!
495
00:30:58,595 --> 00:31:00,995
Can't stop it,
I just can't stop it
496
00:31:01,064 --> 00:31:03,364
Can't stop it,
I just can't...
497
00:31:03,433 --> 00:31:05,093
Stop it!
498
00:31:05,168 --> 00:31:06,898
I got presents
499
00:31:06,970 --> 00:31:09,060
So many presents.
500
00:31:14,645 --> 00:31:16,405
Super Soaker.
501
00:31:17,681 --> 00:31:21,211
Ah ha ha ha!
How 'bout them apples?
502
00:31:21,285 --> 00:31:24,115
- That's not fair.
- What?
503
00:31:24,187 --> 00:31:28,087
Jack Mathias Poe,
put that water gun down right now.
504
00:31:28,158 --> 00:31:30,418
Right now,
right this instant!
505
00:31:30,494 --> 00:31:32,164
Hey hey hey...
not in the house!
506
00:31:32,229 --> 00:31:34,889
Not in the house!
507
00:31:34,965 --> 00:31:37,295
Ooh hoo hoo!
The game is on!
508
00:31:37,367 --> 00:31:39,627
Come on, come on,
come on!
509
00:31:39,703 --> 00:31:42,903
- The game is on!
- Okay, now... don't get the camera!
510
00:31:49,046 --> 00:31:50,876
Not in here.
511
00:32:09,299 --> 00:32:13,329
Yesterday morning,
the 25th of December...
512
00:32:14,738 --> 00:32:16,568
Christmas...
513
00:32:18,208 --> 00:32:20,438
Jack and Emily crucified
the family cat.
514
00:32:26,650 --> 00:32:29,120
My children need help.
515
00:32:29,186 --> 00:32:33,246
As a doctor,
as their mother, it is...
516
00:32:39,830 --> 00:32:42,130
My children need help.
517
00:32:42,199 --> 00:32:45,429
Subjects: Jack
and Emily Poe, age 10.
518
00:32:45,502 --> 00:32:48,162
Birthday:
October 31st, 1997.
519
00:32:48,238 --> 00:32:49,968
No prenatal trauma,
520
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:53,530
no temporal lobe epilepsy
or amygdala damage.
521
00:32:53,610 --> 00:32:56,640
Asperger's disorder possible,
but unlikely.
522
00:32:56,713 --> 00:33:01,483
Malicious intent falls
into the category of conduct disorder,
523
00:33:01,551 --> 00:33:06,421
a precursor to adult ASP
or anti-social personality disorder.
524
00:33:06,490 --> 00:33:09,860
Either the MMPI or the PCL-R
will have to be administered
525
00:33:09,926 --> 00:33:13,726
to test the ambit and extent of Jack
and Emily's psychopathology,
526
00:33:13,797 --> 00:33:16,317
the ambit and extent of...
527
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,300
their malice.
528
00:33:24,608 --> 00:33:27,268
Ha ha, and welcome
to another New Year's Eve,
529
00:33:27,344 --> 00:33:29,404
our first here
at the Poe household.
530
00:33:29,479 --> 00:33:32,139
We're gonna usher in
a year of prosperity,
531
00:33:32,215 --> 00:33:35,205
love and a healthy buzz...
532
00:33:35,285 --> 00:33:38,445
...which I've been nursing
since 5:00 this afternoon.
533
00:33:43,994 --> 00:33:46,494
Nyeh nyeh nyeh.
534
00:33:46,563 --> 00:33:48,393
Indians.
535
00:34:07,150 --> 00:34:08,950
Oh my God.
536
00:34:09,019 --> 00:34:11,349
David, I'm blowing my nose.
537
00:34:11,421 --> 00:34:13,451
- God.
- Hi, honey.
538
00:34:13,523 --> 00:34:16,153
- You ready?
- Do you mind?
539
00:34:16,226 --> 00:34:18,556
- I don't mind at all.
- Good Lord.
540
00:34:20,530 --> 00:34:23,160
Hi! Okay, can you
put it down now?
541
00:34:23,233 --> 00:34:25,203
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
542
00:34:25,268 --> 00:34:27,628
- Happy New Year.
- Mm-hmm!
543
00:34:28,772 --> 00:34:30,902
Are you ready?
544
00:34:35,545 --> 00:34:38,805
- Oh, boy.
- Um, no. I just, um...
545
00:34:38,882 --> 00:34:41,252
I'm thinking that...
546
00:34:41,318 --> 00:34:45,448
maybe we shouldn't
go out tonight.
547
00:34:45,522 --> 00:34:47,252
You know?
548
00:34:47,324 --> 00:34:49,264
The kids...
God, stop it.
549
00:34:49,326 --> 00:34:51,846
The kids are fine.
They're fine. Besides, Madre,
550
00:34:51,928 --> 00:34:54,518
you deserve a night out.
551
00:34:54,598 --> 00:34:58,058
Yeah, but we just...
we never go out.
552
00:34:58,135 --> 00:35:00,465
And that's the point.
Exactly why we should go out.
553
00:35:00,537 --> 00:35:03,097
Come on.
554
00:35:03,173 --> 00:35:07,343
We'll go out.
We'll go to our old stomping grounds.
555
00:35:07,410 --> 00:35:09,210
We'll hit the city, we'll tear it up,
556
00:35:09,279 --> 00:35:11,039
we'll have some fun,
see some old friends.
557
00:35:11,114 --> 00:35:13,484
Just for one night.
558
00:35:13,550 --> 00:35:15,540
Okay.
559
00:35:15,619 --> 00:35:18,589
Is the babysitter here yet?
560
00:35:18,655 --> 00:35:20,275
Huh-uh.
561
00:35:20,357 --> 00:35:22,327
Well, maybe we should
call her, okay?
562
00:35:22,392 --> 00:35:24,762
Okay.
563
00:35:24,828 --> 00:35:27,318
Sorry.
564
00:35:27,397 --> 00:35:29,297
How much did you drink?
565
00:35:29,366 --> 00:35:32,626
Nothing.
566
00:35:32,702 --> 00:35:35,232
Not anything.
Not much of anything.
567
00:35:38,008 --> 00:35:40,808
- You know what happens.
- Yeah, I do,
568
00:35:40,877 --> 00:35:43,107
and I don't want that.
569
00:35:43,180 --> 00:35:45,310
That's gonna be
my New Year's resolution.
570
00:35:45,382 --> 00:35:48,282
- Pfft.
- What?
571
00:35:50,854 --> 00:35:53,524
Well, what's gonna be yours?
What's your resolution?
572
00:35:53,590 --> 00:35:56,120
Secret.
573
00:35:57,928 --> 00:36:00,558
Secrets are cool.
That's what we have around here, right?
574
00:36:00,630 --> 00:36:03,290
Oh, yeah, okay.
575
00:36:08,071 --> 00:36:10,731
That's why you don't want
to go into the city, isn't it?
576
00:36:10,807 --> 00:36:13,367
'Cause you don't want to see
people we used to know.
577
00:36:13,443 --> 00:36:16,883
'Cause just they might ask
that inevitable question:
578
00:36:16,947 --> 00:36:20,937
"David, Clare,
how are the kids?"
579
00:36:27,791 --> 00:36:29,691
Can you turn
the camera off, please?
580
00:36:29,759 --> 00:36:32,019
Sure, I'll tell you what.
Why don't you turn it off?
581
00:36:35,332 --> 00:36:38,772
You tell the camera
your New Year's resolution,
582
00:36:38,835 --> 00:36:41,025
then you can turn it off.
583
00:36:42,305 --> 00:36:44,165
Come on, I told mine.
584
00:36:44,241 --> 00:36:46,181
I promise
I won't watch it.
585
00:36:46,243 --> 00:36:49,343
You should turn the camera off!
The battery's gonna die!
586
00:37:04,194 --> 00:37:06,754
I'm not talking into the camera.
587
00:37:19,242 --> 00:37:21,512
Hello.
588
00:37:24,881 --> 00:37:27,541
For you.
589
00:37:27,617 --> 00:37:29,047
Ding-dong.
590
00:37:41,131 --> 00:37:43,361
Yeah, I'm gonna smoke.
591
00:37:47,437 --> 00:37:49,597
New Year's resolution.
592
00:37:49,673 --> 00:37:51,703
Here we go.
593
00:37:51,775 --> 00:37:54,795
I resolve...
594
00:37:57,347 --> 00:37:59,777
I resolve to...
595
00:38:01,851 --> 00:38:03,841
...not quit smoking.
596
00:38:13,730 --> 00:38:16,460
I want...
597
00:38:18,368 --> 00:38:21,858
I want this family to be
598
00:38:21,938 --> 00:38:25,598
the family that
599
00:38:25,675 --> 00:38:28,465
I thought it would be
600
00:38:28,545 --> 00:38:32,235
when I thought about having
a family in the first place,
601
00:38:32,315 --> 00:38:35,975
because... this isn't.
602
00:38:40,623 --> 00:38:43,323
It's...
603
00:38:43,393 --> 00:38:45,863
I feel like I don't
know these people.
604
00:38:52,502 --> 00:38:54,942
There are strangers
in my house.
605
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:01,170
Mom, help.
606
00:39:04,414 --> 00:39:07,444
What are you doing?
607
00:39:07,517 --> 00:39:11,037
Oh my God!
What is this?!
608
00:39:11,121 --> 00:39:13,561
- I didn't do that.
- Well, that's...
609
00:39:13,623 --> 00:39:16,393
Were you rough-housing
with Daddy?
610
00:39:16,459 --> 00:39:18,389
- Who hurt you? Did Daddy hurt...
- Well...
611
00:39:18,461 --> 00:39:19,761
Be quiet, David!
612
00:39:19,829 --> 00:39:22,159
Who hurt you?
Did Daddy bite you?
613
00:39:22,232 --> 00:39:24,932
- Who bit you?
- The man.
614
00:39:25,001 --> 00:39:27,301
- What man?
- The man in the closet.
615
00:39:39,249 --> 00:39:43,279
January 1st, 2007,
616
00:39:43,353 --> 00:39:46,323
4:06 AM.
617
00:39:49,159 --> 00:39:52,219
Multiple bite marks found
618
00:39:52,295 --> 00:39:56,595
on both Jack and Emily's
torso and arms.
619
00:39:58,735 --> 00:40:01,825
Bites so deep they left,
for lack of a better word,
620
00:40:01,905 --> 00:40:04,995
craters in their flesh.
621
00:40:08,711 --> 00:40:12,811
It is worth noting,
in the interest of full disclosure,
622
00:40:12,882 --> 00:40:14,712
a bit of the past
when it comes to my husband.
623
00:40:14,784 --> 00:40:17,754
David was,
as a child, abused.
624
00:40:17,821 --> 00:40:20,481
Abused children,
as proven by Piaget,
625
00:40:20,557 --> 00:40:23,817
are predisposed as adults
to abusing their own children.
626
00:40:23,893 --> 00:40:28,163
All I know is there's
627
00:40:28,231 --> 00:40:30,831
a lot I don't know
about my husband.
628
00:40:30,900 --> 00:40:33,870
I know he drinks more than
he should, and when he...
629
00:40:39,909 --> 00:40:43,309
Oh, this is specious.
630
00:40:43,379 --> 00:40:46,139
Children have
overactive imaginations.
631
00:40:46,216 --> 00:40:48,646
The man in the closet
is not real,
632
00:40:48,718 --> 00:40:51,618
but the bite marks are.
633
00:40:53,857 --> 00:40:56,187
Who's been biting
my children?
634
00:41:06,503 --> 00:41:08,843
Ooh, you're pretty.
635
00:41:08,905 --> 00:41:11,265
Ooh, you look upset.
636
00:41:13,576 --> 00:41:16,636
Surprise!
Happy Valentine's day, hon!
637
00:41:16,713 --> 00:41:19,203
- How was Philly?
- I'm taking the kids to my mother's.
638
00:41:19,282 --> 00:41:21,152
- You're doing what?
- If you want to have
639
00:41:21,217 --> 00:41:23,237
a normal conversation
like two normal adult people,
640
00:41:23,319 --> 00:41:25,579
I'd be happy to do that
but I am not doing this.
641
00:41:25,655 --> 00:41:27,205
Our kids are not normal.
642
00:41:27,290 --> 00:41:28,890
We can't move
into the middle of nowhere,
643
00:41:28,892 --> 00:41:31,592
raise them in this Norman Rockwell
world, expect everything...
644
00:41:31,661 --> 00:41:34,931
- nothing's changed. It didn't work!
- What's your point?
645
00:41:34,998 --> 00:41:37,428
My point is that there's
something bad in this house
646
00:41:37,500 --> 00:41:39,590
- and it isn't me.
- Our children are behaving badly
647
00:41:39,669 --> 00:41:41,639
because they themselves have
been treated badly.
648
00:41:41,704 --> 00:41:44,384
It is rudimentary cause and effect,
symptomatic of a larger problem.
649
00:41:44,407 --> 00:41:46,837
I can't believe you're
a psychologist. I can't believe it.
650
00:41:46,910 --> 00:41:48,640
You don't even know
your own kids are psychotic.
651
00:41:48,711 --> 00:41:51,391
- Our children are not psychotic.
- They crucified the fucking cat!
652
00:41:51,414 --> 00:41:53,644
Okay? They put goldfish
in a sandwich.
653
00:41:53,716 --> 00:41:57,016
They put the frog in vise grips.
I saw them eating raw meat!
654
00:41:57,086 --> 00:41:59,776
Obvious revolt
from two abused children.
655
00:41:59,856 --> 00:42:03,156
Say it to the camera.
Say I abused our children.
656
00:42:03,226 --> 00:42:06,216
- Say it to my face.
- It's not...
657
00:42:06,296 --> 00:42:09,696
- Go ahead!
- I'm not gonna say it to the camera.
658
00:42:09,766 --> 00:42:14,286
All right, say it to me.
Go ahead, say I abused our children.
659
00:42:14,370 --> 00:42:17,310
It's not you.
It's the fucking camera.
660
00:42:17,373 --> 00:42:19,933
I'm taking the children
to my mother's.
661
00:42:20,009 --> 00:42:21,909
No, you're not, Clare.
662
00:42:21,978 --> 00:42:24,168
Their bodies were covered
in bite marks.
663
00:42:24,247 --> 00:42:26,147
- I didn't do it!
- Well, then who did,
664
00:42:26,215 --> 00:42:29,615
the man in the closet?
665
00:42:34,791 --> 00:42:37,231
Um, February 14th, 1:45 PM.
666
00:42:39,762 --> 00:42:43,432
While the student body
of St. Walter's was attending
667
00:42:43,499 --> 00:42:47,439
a St. Valentine's Day
assembly in the cafeteria,
668
00:42:49,505 --> 00:42:51,935
Jack and Emily cornered a boy,
669
00:42:52,008 --> 00:42:55,768
Christian McNamara, age nine,
670
00:42:55,845 --> 00:42:57,605
one grade below them,
671
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,620
into the boys' bathroom.
672
00:43:00,683 --> 00:43:04,313
Once inside,
they locked the door
673
00:43:04,387 --> 00:43:08,447
and began
to bite him repeatedly.
674
00:43:10,627 --> 00:43:12,857
And they just wouldn't stop.
675
00:43:14,430 --> 00:43:17,560
The boy is fine,
uh, medically,
676
00:43:19,268 --> 00:43:21,858
but Jack and Emily
have been expelled.
677
00:43:21,938 --> 00:43:23,868
It's clear to me now
that no one
678
00:43:23,940 --> 00:43:26,770
was biting Jack and Emily.
679
00:43:28,077 --> 00:43:30,907
Jack and Emily were
biting each other.
680
00:43:35,451 --> 00:43:37,421
This has to stop.
681
00:43:43,626 --> 00:43:46,146
Emily?
682
00:43:49,132 --> 00:43:52,122
Emmy?
683
00:43:55,104 --> 00:43:57,404
Emily?
684
00:43:57,473 --> 00:44:00,443
Hey, honey.
685
00:44:00,510 --> 00:44:02,880
The shade is down.
686
00:44:18,428 --> 00:44:21,298
You ready to talk to me
about what happened?
687
00:44:22,498 --> 00:44:24,558
'Cause I'm ready to listen.
688
00:44:42,752 --> 00:44:45,522
Why did
you hurt Christian McNamara?
689
00:44:47,724 --> 00:44:50,454
Because you did
hurt him, you know.
690
00:44:53,096 --> 00:44:56,026
They said that
after you bit him, he was bleeding.
691
00:44:56,099 --> 00:44:58,499
You broke the skin
but you kept...
692
00:45:06,142 --> 00:45:08,172
Why did you keep biting him?
693
00:45:24,026 --> 00:45:27,586
This picture, this drawing that
you and Jack did,
694
00:45:30,233 --> 00:45:33,603
it seems like
you had it all planned out.
695
00:45:33,669 --> 00:45:37,229
You were gonna bring him into the
bathroom and lock the door, right?
696
00:45:39,609 --> 00:45:42,739
Well, honey, in court,
that's called premeditated.
697
00:45:48,551 --> 00:45:50,991
Why did you hurt him?
698
00:45:59,428 --> 00:46:01,558
Baby, do you know how...
699
00:46:01,631 --> 00:46:03,901
do you know
how in church
700
00:46:03,966 --> 00:46:07,196
I talk about how for every
good thing that God does,
701
00:46:07,270 --> 00:46:10,830
Satan does a bad thing?
702
00:46:10,907 --> 00:46:14,597
Well, just like
there are angels on the earth,
703
00:46:14,677 --> 00:46:17,737
there's also demons
and they can go everywhere.
704
00:46:21,651 --> 00:46:24,281
Do you think there are
bad things in this house?
705
00:46:35,832 --> 00:46:39,032
Who's the man in the closet?
706
00:46:41,737 --> 00:46:45,037
Emily?
I need to talk to your father,
707
00:46:45,107 --> 00:46:48,167
so would you go downstairs, please,
and please stay out of Jack's room?
708
00:46:48,244 --> 00:46:50,184
Right now.
709
00:46:50,246 --> 00:46:52,406
Thank you.
710
00:46:54,650 --> 00:46:56,950
I'm taking the camera.
711
00:46:57,019 --> 00:46:59,279
Oh, so you get to film
the children but I don't,
712
00:46:59,355 --> 00:47:01,645
is that it?
It's a family camera, you know.
713
00:47:01,724 --> 00:47:03,754
It's not yours.
714
00:47:05,862 --> 00:47:08,162
I use it for my work.
Jack is my work.
715
00:47:08,231 --> 00:47:10,221
Jack is your son.
716
00:47:11,834 --> 00:47:13,634
All right, Jack,
717
00:47:13,703 --> 00:47:17,503
now we're gonna do what's called
a Rorschach test, okay?
718
00:47:18,975 --> 00:47:21,435
All you have to do is
look at the pictures.
719
00:47:26,282 --> 00:47:28,682
Tell me what you see.
720
00:47:32,688 --> 00:47:36,248
It's okay, Jack,
Mommy's not gonna get mad, all right?
721
00:47:38,261 --> 00:47:40,861
You just have to look
at the pictures.
722
00:47:40,930 --> 00:47:44,230
Just tell me what you see.
723
00:47:50,506 --> 00:47:53,936
Okay, I'll take the pictures
back now, Jack.
724
00:47:54,010 --> 00:47:56,040
Give me the pictures.
725
00:48:17,733 --> 00:48:20,073
I'm beginning a...
726
00:48:22,104 --> 00:48:25,234
a course in, uh,
psychopharmacology.
727
00:48:27,143 --> 00:48:29,113
10mg Clonidine.
728
00:48:41,123 --> 00:48:44,753
Exorcism doesn't exist
for Lutherans.
729
00:48:46,796 --> 00:48:50,246
Nor does it exist, really,
in practice for Catholics
730
00:48:50,333 --> 00:48:53,133
or for any Christians,
for that matter.
731
00:48:53,202 --> 00:48:54,862
Yellow in the morning,
732
00:48:54,937 --> 00:48:58,297
white in the afternoon,
pink in the evening.
733
00:48:58,374 --> 00:49:00,544
It's a practice that's deemed...
734
00:49:00,609 --> 00:49:01,869
archaic.
735
00:49:01,944 --> 00:49:02,074
Never ever take more
than one pill at a time.
736
00:49:02,111 --> 00:49:05,341
Never ever take more
than one pill at a time.
737
00:49:05,414 --> 00:49:07,414
Do you understand?
738
00:49:07,483 --> 00:49:10,653
Otherwise your body will go
into what we call "a conscious coma."
739
00:49:10,720 --> 00:49:14,050
We've somehow today
deemed it more palatable
740
00:49:14,123 --> 00:49:17,183
to reduce John Wayne Gacy's
33 murders
741
00:49:17,259 --> 00:49:20,819
to the fact that
he was abused as a child.
742
00:49:20,896 --> 00:49:23,586
10mg Haldol...
743
00:49:26,836 --> 00:49:28,926
10mg Vesprin.
744
00:49:29,005 --> 00:49:31,465
I got news for you...
745
00:49:35,745 --> 00:49:38,675
there is evil
in this house.
746
00:49:44,887 --> 00:49:47,407
Leave this house in Christ.
747
00:49:54,930 --> 00:49:57,690
Leave this house in Christ.
748
00:50:03,272 --> 00:50:05,712
Leave this house
in Christ.
749
00:50:05,775 --> 00:50:08,295
Leave this house in Christ.
750
00:50:20,056 --> 00:50:23,616
This is my house!
These are my children!
751
00:50:23,692 --> 00:50:27,822
Leave my fucking children alone!
Get the fuck out of my house!
752
00:50:33,302 --> 00:50:35,402
Leave this house
in Christ.
753
00:50:47,016 --> 00:50:49,276
Leave this house
in Christ!
754
00:50:53,089 --> 00:50:54,519
Stay down,
stay down!
755
00:51:02,898 --> 00:51:06,728
"The children of the kingdom
will be cast into outer darkness,
756
00:51:06,802 --> 00:51:10,672
and there shall be weeping,
there shall be gnashing of teeth."
757
00:51:10,739 --> 00:51:13,069
Leave this house in Christ!
758
00:51:13,142 --> 00:51:15,472
- David? David?
- Leave this house in...
759
00:51:15,544 --> 00:51:18,384
Leave leave leave leave!
760
00:51:18,447 --> 00:51:21,077
Leave leave!
761
00:51:21,150 --> 00:51:23,810
Leave leave!
762
00:51:23,886 --> 00:51:27,316
Leave leave!
763
00:51:29,358 --> 00:51:32,048
It's okay, the evil is gone.
764
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:41,260
April 8th, 2007.
765
00:51:41,337 --> 00:51:42,957
Easter Sunday.
766
00:51:43,038 --> 00:51:45,368
Two months have passed.
767
00:51:45,441 --> 00:51:48,171
I'm happy to report that
since my last report,
768
00:51:48,244 --> 00:51:52,154
Jack and Emily's
antisocial behavior has surceased.
769
00:51:52,214 --> 00:51:56,244
The Haldol and Vesprin show
no negative side effects,
770
00:51:56,318 --> 00:51:59,378
allowing them
to successfully reenter school.
771
00:51:59,455 --> 00:52:03,145
Much to our surprise, they have
befriended Christian McNamara,
772
00:52:03,225 --> 00:52:05,685
inviting him over
to hunt for Easter eggs,
773
00:52:05,761 --> 00:52:09,031
proving once again
that there is no good child,
774
00:52:09,098 --> 00:52:11,258
there is no bad child,
775
00:52:11,333 --> 00:52:13,103
there is only diagnosis.
776
00:52:13,169 --> 00:52:17,129
- And with the diagnosis, treatment.
- You're insane.
777
00:52:17,206 --> 00:52:19,396
I have treated my children.
778
00:52:25,548 --> 00:52:28,038
Hey, guys, what are you doing?
779
00:52:28,117 --> 00:52:29,777
- Hey, Dad.
- Hi, Daddy!
780
00:52:29,852 --> 00:52:32,052
- Hey, Mr. Poe.
- Hi, honey. Hey, Christian.
781
00:52:32,121 --> 00:52:34,491
- Are my kids being good to you?
- Yeah.
782
00:52:34,557 --> 00:52:36,887
- Outstanding.
- Hi, Dad.
783
00:52:36,959 --> 00:52:40,519
Hey, what's going on?
Hi, honey.
784
00:52:40,596 --> 00:52:42,286
- How are you?
- Good.
785
00:52:42,364 --> 00:52:43,734
What are you guys up to?
Are you having fun?
786
00:52:43,799 --> 00:52:47,739
- Mm-hmm.
- Nice. How about this?
787
00:52:50,306 --> 00:52:52,566
Is this embarrassing you?
788
00:52:53,609 --> 00:52:55,539
- Yes.
- Huh?
789
00:52:55,611 --> 00:52:58,241
- Okay, what are you building?
- A fort.
790
00:52:58,314 --> 00:53:00,484
Yeah? You have
enough blankets to build a fort?
791
00:53:00,549 --> 00:53:03,519
- Mm-hmm.
- All right, build it strong
792
00:53:03,586 --> 00:53:05,226
because William Tecumseh
Sherman's coming.
793
00:53:08,891 --> 00:53:11,291
Too young
for Fort Sumter jokes?
794
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:13,790
- No, I got it.
- It's not funny?
795
00:53:13,862 --> 00:53:16,092
- Nah, kind of.
- Okay.
796
00:53:17,700 --> 00:53:19,860
We're gonna get ready
for the Easter egg hunt.
797
00:53:19,935 --> 00:53:21,455
- Okay.
- In a half an hour.
798
00:53:21,537 --> 00:53:23,937
Can I see by show of hands
who wants to hunt Easter eggs?
799
00:53:24,006 --> 00:53:26,866
Outstanding. Okay, we're gonna
do it in half an hour, okay?
800
00:53:26,942 --> 00:53:28,882
- Mm-hmm.
- Synchronize watches.
801
00:53:28,944 --> 00:53:30,844
- All right.
- We're not wearing watches.
802
00:53:30,913 --> 00:53:32,283
- Bye, Daddy!
- Bye, Mr. Poe.
803
00:53:32,348 --> 00:53:34,578
- Hey, I love you.
- I love you too, Daddy.
804
00:53:34,650 --> 00:53:36,880
- I love you, honey.
- I love you too.
805
00:53:36,952 --> 00:53:38,322
- See you in the kitchen.
- Okay!
806
00:53:38,387 --> 00:53:40,447
All right?
807
00:53:40,522 --> 00:53:43,392
Cutest kids in the world.
808
00:53:43,459 --> 00:53:46,289
I'm gonna do
a little recap for the kids.
809
00:53:46,362 --> 00:53:48,392
10 years ago,
Easter, you and I?
810
00:53:48,464 --> 00:53:51,994
Oh, Mr. Romance.
811
00:53:52,067 --> 00:53:53,997
Yes, children,
812
00:53:54,069 --> 00:53:56,499
your father was walking
out of a church,
813
00:53:56,572 --> 00:53:59,412
looked across the quad.
He spotted your mother,
814
00:53:59,475 --> 00:54:02,335
the patented
David Poe charm kicked in and...
815
00:54:04,113 --> 00:54:06,453
You could almost hear it.
We got to talking.
816
00:54:06,515 --> 00:54:08,975
Yeah, you got to talking.
I got to staring,
817
00:54:09,051 --> 00:54:11,821
wondering what you were
doing with a Bible in your hand.
818
00:54:11,887 --> 00:54:14,407
Mm-hmm, and she said
with all requisite sarcasm...
819
00:54:14,490 --> 00:54:17,520
"Are Jehovah's Witnesses
820
00:54:17,593 --> 00:54:21,323
and other religious types
821
00:54:21,397 --> 00:54:23,157
allowed to flirt with co-eds?"
822
00:54:23,232 --> 00:54:25,202
I said, "No, Jehovah's Witnesses
are not required
823
00:54:25,267 --> 00:54:27,597
by law to flirt
with co-eds, however...
824
00:54:27,670 --> 00:54:30,370
Lutherans are."
825
00:54:30,439 --> 00:54:32,809
And I explained...
826
00:54:32,875 --> 00:54:35,735
Yes, with a great deal
of condescension, I might add.
827
00:54:35,811 --> 00:54:37,511
...with a great deal
of condescension
828
00:54:37,579 --> 00:54:40,239
that if she had any doubts
about this fact,
829
00:54:40,316 --> 00:54:43,716
that she might want to present herself
at the divinity school kegger
830
00:54:43,786 --> 00:54:46,906
on Friday night at midnight
because the Theology department
831
00:54:46,989 --> 00:54:50,359
at Harvard is, bar none,
party central on campus.
832
00:54:50,426 --> 00:54:52,856
- That was our first date.
- It was our first date.
833
00:54:52,928 --> 00:54:56,728
And you didn't think the beer
was good enough for me
834
00:54:56,799 --> 00:54:59,559
- so you brought, um...
- Come.
835
00:54:59,635 --> 00:55:03,195
- Um, you brought me...
- A box of wine.
836
00:55:03,272 --> 00:55:06,802
- A box of wine.
- Wine that comes from a box.
837
00:55:06,875 --> 00:55:09,635
- Mr. Romance.
- Johnny Romance.
838
00:55:11,547 --> 00:55:13,517
And I asked you
839
00:55:13,582 --> 00:55:16,682
what could
a psychiatrist and a pastor
840
00:55:16,752 --> 00:55:19,352
- ever have in common and...
- I said, "Faith."
841
00:55:19,421 --> 00:55:21,181
...and you said faith.
Faith.
842
00:55:21,256 --> 00:55:25,746
That the two of us, more than any other
people, could actually help people.
843
00:55:25,828 --> 00:55:28,958
That's right.
And I do love you,
844
00:55:29,031 --> 00:55:31,561
but I don't believe in Freud.
845
00:55:31,633 --> 00:55:34,003
That's okay.
I don't believe in God.
846
00:55:34,069 --> 00:55:37,229
That's okay. He believes in you.
He believes in this family.
847
00:55:37,306 --> 00:55:40,166
That makes three of us.
848
00:55:47,216 --> 00:55:50,076
Is that a carrot in your pocket
or are you just happy to see me?
849
00:55:50,152 --> 00:55:52,682
As a matter of fact...
850
00:55:52,755 --> 00:55:54,015
Oh my God.
851
00:55:54,089 --> 00:55:56,559
...it is a carrot.
852
00:55:56,625 --> 00:55:58,985
That came from
the strangest place.
853
00:56:01,096 --> 00:56:04,216
- Would you like a bite of my carrot?
- You know I would.
854
00:56:05,901 --> 00:56:08,841
- See?
- Why, I oughta...
855
00:56:11,106 --> 00:56:13,126
Junior filmmaker bunny.
856
00:56:13,208 --> 00:56:16,078
Mr. Bunny, Mr. Filmmaker.
857
00:56:16,145 --> 00:56:20,075
Jack, Emily! Come on down,
it's time to hunt for Easter eggs!
858
00:56:20,149 --> 00:56:22,669
That's the TV.
859
00:56:22,751 --> 00:56:24,241
It's so frickin' loud.
860
00:56:24,319 --> 00:56:26,449
"Frickin" '?
861
00:56:26,522 --> 00:56:29,552
Yeah, I said frickin', sorry.
862
00:56:29,625 --> 00:56:31,555
Jack, Emily!
863
00:56:39,668 --> 00:56:42,568
Hey, the TV.
864
00:56:42,638 --> 00:56:44,728
It's so loud...
865
00:56:56,785 --> 00:56:58,575
- Hey, what's up?
- They're not here.
866
00:56:58,654 --> 00:57:01,184
- They're not here? What do you mean?
- I don't know.
867
00:57:01,256 --> 00:57:03,016
Jack?
868
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:06,890
Emily?
869
00:58:16,698 --> 00:58:18,858
Oh, what's reeking?
870
00:58:19,935 --> 00:58:21,595
Oh, Jack.
871
00:58:23,705 --> 00:58:25,035
No.
872
00:58:26,308 --> 00:58:28,498
No.
873
00:58:28,577 --> 00:58:31,407
Oh God.
874
00:58:52,367 --> 00:58:56,527
Because it's Easter Sunday
and our children are minors...
875
00:58:59,374 --> 00:59:01,974
DCFS, against our better wishes,
876
00:59:02,044 --> 00:59:05,844
has given us custody
of our children
877
00:59:05,914 --> 00:59:09,414
until the court
arraignment tomorrow.
878
00:59:15,624 --> 00:59:18,754
Tonight will be
their last night in this house.
879
00:59:23,732 --> 00:59:27,172
Tomorrow they will be
charged as minors...
880
00:59:28,737 --> 00:59:31,537
with, uh, one count of
881
00:59:31,607 --> 00:59:36,407
unlawful restraint,
one count attempted murder
882
00:59:36,478 --> 00:59:40,608
with a provision III clause
of juvenile detention
883
00:59:40,682 --> 00:59:43,312
until the age of 18.
884
00:59:47,856 --> 00:59:51,046
Tomorrow morning,
Jack and Emily are...
885
00:59:53,528 --> 00:59:55,888
Gonna go away.
886
01:00:01,503 --> 01:00:04,233
Like Abraham
887
01:00:04,306 --> 01:00:07,396
sacrificed Isaac,
888
01:00:07,476 --> 01:00:11,406
so we must sacrifice
our children.
889
01:00:26,328 --> 01:00:28,588
But even still...
890
01:00:32,100 --> 01:00:34,470
I love my children.
891
01:00:39,041 --> 01:00:41,841
How can I not love my son
892
01:00:41,910 --> 01:00:44,710
and my baby girl?
893
01:00:46,882 --> 01:00:48,612
Come on. Come on.
894
01:00:48,684 --> 01:00:51,624
Honey.
895
01:00:51,687 --> 01:00:55,377
- What?
- We can stop.
896
01:00:57,559 --> 01:01:00,819
No.
897
01:01:00,896 --> 01:01:03,726
- Come on, let's finish.
- No no no.
898
01:01:03,799 --> 01:01:07,059
We're not gonna show this...
899
01:01:07,135 --> 01:01:09,925
to anyone,
900
01:01:10,005 --> 01:01:12,665
so we're not
talking to anyone.
901
01:01:12,741 --> 01:01:14,731
We are talking to ourselves.
902
01:01:14,810 --> 01:01:17,340
Understand that?
We're talking to ourselves.
903
01:01:17,412 --> 01:01:21,612
I'm sorry.
904
01:01:33,528 --> 01:01:35,958
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
905
01:01:42,537 --> 01:01:45,057
I'm sorry.
906
01:01:46,141 --> 01:01:47,441
I'm sorry.
907
01:01:50,278 --> 01:01:52,868
DCFS, against our better wishes,
908
01:01:52,948 --> 01:01:56,708
has given us custody
of our children
909
01:01:56,785 --> 01:02:00,185
until the court
arraignment tomorrow.
910
01:02:01,890 --> 01:02:04,760
Hi, and welcome to
"The Jack and Emily Show."
911
01:02:04,826 --> 01:02:07,016
I'm Jack.
912
01:02:07,095 --> 01:02:09,325
I'm Emily.
913
01:02:10,832 --> 01:02:13,202
Let's have some fun.
914
01:02:15,871 --> 01:02:19,471
You're quiet in there.
I can't even hear you,
915
01:02:19,541 --> 01:02:22,411
but I know you're there.
916
01:02:24,379 --> 01:02:26,469
Let's have
a staring contest.
917
01:02:26,548 --> 01:02:29,848
I dare you to stare
until our movie's done.
918
01:02:31,052 --> 01:02:33,852
I bet you
you can't.
919
01:04:19,794 --> 01:04:21,794
- Jack!
- Please stop!
920
01:04:21,863 --> 01:04:23,763
Stop! Oh my God!
921
01:04:23,832 --> 01:04:27,862
Stop it!
Oh, God, please!
922
01:04:27,936 --> 01:04:31,526
Jack, stop!
Jack, what are you doing?
923
01:04:31,606 --> 01:04:34,436
Stop it! Stop! I
924
01:04:34,509 --> 01:04:36,339
Please!
925
01:05:38,773 --> 01:05:40,643
And action.
926
01:06:03,298 --> 01:06:05,958
Untie me, untie me.
927
01:06:06,034 --> 01:06:08,504
- I'm gonna call the police!
- Untie me.
928
01:06:08,570 --> 01:06:11,370
Untie me!
929
01:06:15,677 --> 01:06:18,837
They cut...
they cut the phone lines.
930
01:06:18,913 --> 01:06:21,443
Take the baseball bat.
931
01:06:21,516 --> 01:06:24,176
- Get the fucking bat.
- What?
932
01:06:24,252 --> 01:06:26,412
- Get the bat, Clare.
- Where?
933
01:06:26,488 --> 01:06:29,008
It's upstairs in Jack's room.
934
01:06:29,090 --> 01:06:31,150
I can't go up there.
It's dark up there.
935
01:06:31,226 --> 01:06:34,126
Take the camera.
There's a light on the camera.
936
01:06:34,195 --> 01:06:36,355
There's a switch on the side.
937
01:06:38,666 --> 01:06:40,896
Get the fucking bat.
938
01:06:40,969 --> 01:06:43,159
Where's the...
where's the light?
939
01:06:43,238 --> 01:06:44,868
- It's on the side!
- How do you turn on the light?
940
01:06:44,939 --> 01:06:46,909
By the handle on the side!
941
01:06:55,250 --> 01:06:57,510
Clare!
942
01:07:02,590 --> 01:07:04,220
Clare!
943
01:07:07,062 --> 01:07:10,092
Clare! Clare!
944
01:07:20,208 --> 01:07:22,678
Go! Go!
945
01:07:22,744 --> 01:07:25,544
Jack! Emily!
946
01:07:25,613 --> 01:07:29,073
Stop this shit right now!
947
01:07:29,150 --> 01:07:32,210
You listen to your father.
948
01:07:32,287 --> 01:07:34,977
Untie me.
949
01:07:36,524 --> 01:07:38,464
Un-fucking-tie me!
950
01:07:38,526 --> 01:07:41,456
Jack! Emily!
951
01:08:05,720 --> 01:08:07,150
Jack.
952
01:08:20,168 --> 01:08:23,598
All right, guys, I can see you
so you don't move, okay?
953
01:08:23,671 --> 01:08:28,011
If you move, I will break every bone
in your fucking body, do you understand?
954
01:08:30,578 --> 01:08:32,878
David?
955
01:08:32,947 --> 01:08:35,807
David!
956
01:08:35,884 --> 01:08:38,654
- Yeah.
- Do you have everything?
957
01:08:38,720 --> 01:08:41,990
- Just one more bag.
- Okay.
958
01:08:44,592 --> 01:08:46,862
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
959
01:08:46,928 --> 01:08:49,018
Are you sure?
960
01:08:50,598 --> 01:08:52,958
- Honey, are you sure you're okay?
- I just have a headache.
961
01:08:53,001 --> 01:08:55,331
- That's awfully bright.
- Sorry sorry.
962
01:08:58,740 --> 01:09:01,800
All right, you guys. This is it.
963
01:09:01,876 --> 01:09:05,506
You are leaving this house.
964
01:09:05,580 --> 01:09:07,610
You are not our children.
965
01:09:10,552 --> 01:09:13,782
I don't know what you are.
966
01:09:13,855 --> 01:09:16,715
You stay right there. David?
967
01:09:19,494 --> 01:09:23,194
David?
968
01:09:23,264 --> 01:09:25,734
Oh my God. David?
969
01:09:25,800 --> 01:09:29,530
Honey? Honey?
970
01:09:29,604 --> 01:09:31,874
Oh my God. David?
971
01:09:31,940 --> 01:09:35,710
Oh my God.
Oh my God!
972
01:09:35,777 --> 01:09:39,137
Oh my God! Oh my God!
973
01:09:42,850 --> 01:09:45,110
What did you do?
974
01:09:50,625 --> 01:09:53,355
Oh my God.
975
01:09:53,428 --> 01:09:56,018
Oh my God,
did they drug us?
976
01:09:57,398 --> 01:10:00,388
Oh my God.
You fucking drugged us!
977
01:11:08,703 --> 01:11:11,303
No!
978
01:11:12,940 --> 01:11:15,840
Get back!
Get the fuck...!
979
01:11:24,886 --> 01:11:27,906
Get back!
980
01:12:02,490 --> 01:12:04,620
Help!
981
01:12:15,570 --> 01:12:18,540
Help! Help!
66700
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
