Original subtitles

For God's sake, shut up!

It's all his fancy, that.

This mock-turtle has nae got any sorrow, you know.

This young lady here... she wants to know your history...

So she does.

When we were little...

...we went to school... in the sea.

Abso-bloomin'- lutely!

The master was an old turtle.

We used to call him "tortoise".

Why did you call him tortoise if he wasn't one?

We called him "tortoise" because he "taught us".

Oh, then...very droll!

You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Asking such a simple question

But how many hours a day did you do lessons?

10 hours the first...9 the next...

- ...then 8... - What a curious plan!

That's a reason that's hopeless... and stupid!

Because they "lessen" from day to day!

Then the 11th day must have been a holiday!

Of course it was!

Not very bright...are you?

Where ARE you?

Where have you gone?

Well, Lucy...our very last night on board the 'Berengaria'.

Yes, ma'am.

We must compose ourselves, my dear...

...for whatever perils and novelties may lie ahead of us...

...in the United States.

Yes, Miss Hargreaves.

Well, at least the people there speak a FORM of English...

...even though with a sort of rubbery paste in their mouths.

It's called chewing-gum.

They actually talk to one when it's still in their mouths...

...moving it from one side of the cheek to the other.

Did you know that, Lucy?

I don't think ALL of them do, Mrs Hargreaves.

The Americans on this ship, don't.

No, I'm not talking about the class of Americans who travel to and from Europe, child.

I refer to the 'common man'...

...the vast hordes... the 'Great Unwashed',

Now, what is it child?

Why are you distracted?

Nothing...nothing...

It's not cheap music that disturbs you... it's your youth.

Well...we've had our little nocturnal perambulation...

Time for bed...I'm tired... I must close my eyes.

Come along, Lucy.

Lucy...I said come along!

Mrs Hargreaves...

Oh, what is it?!

I wonder if I might be allowed to go and listen to the band.

- You?! - Only for a little while.

Come, come...No I really don't think you should be late tonight.

Disembarkation is a notoriously exhausting business.

And my hair needs a thoroughly good brushing, my dear...

...Lots of vigour.

Is that it?

Rumours of war in Europe...

Another gang war...a plane crash...

...a kidnapping.

I think that covers the lighter side, gentlemen...

No heavy stuff at all.

Here's something that might be interesting... Well, let's have it.

It's about 'Alice in Wonderland'.

Oh, great...that's ALL we need!

There's this old dame they found in England...

She was Alice... I mean the real Alice...

The one that Lewis Carroll first told the story to, 70 years ago.

Is that right?

Is she a real person?

That's like saying fairies are for real.

They are!

Haven't you met the new guy we hired to do the ladies' page?

What about her, Harry?

She's arriving in New York tomorrow on the 'Berengaria'.

Columbia are going to give her an honorary degree.

It's part of a celebration...

Lewis Carroll was born 100 years ago.

How old did you say she was? She's 80.

Carroll told her the story when she was 10.

Get her!

We want her.

You got to be kidding, surely... An 80-year old woman from England?

She's probably too ga-ga by now to talk sensible anyway.

Now listen!..

Any old dame who fell down a rabbit hole...

...and sat down to tea with the Mad Hatter...

...is gonna cheer ME up!

Let alone our readers.

And I'M a miserable son-of-a-bitch...

...or hadn't you heard?

We've heard.

If they see a huge act, I'll call the cops.

I'm just coming in to clear out my desk.

You got fired a month ago... and you've been in dozens of times since.

Forget it... They won't take you back!

It wasn't so terrible... what I did.

Making up a whole interview?

It was what Lindberg would've said, if he'd talked to me.

Anyway, I'm going in to argue my case...I'm broke.

I'm desperate.

There's a whole big Depression going on out there, Sally...

I can't even get a job washing dishes...

...ME...with all my talent!

"Religious Affairs"...

Sorry...

"Are dreams...right?"...

Yes...

As soon as the boat clears quarantine tomorrow morning.

You sure you want this?

OK, OK...I only asked!

What's that?

Do you know anything about "Alice in Wonderland"?

Sure, do I know anything about it...

Yeah, it's a book!

Don't look at me, Sally... Just keep typing, please.

Well, well!

Brave Jack Dolan... ex ace-reporter...

Would-be all-purpose hustler...

...and 100% C-O-W-A-R-D!

You can come out now!

He's gone.

He's a bum!

So, anyway... about Alice in Wonderland...?

It's a kid's book... It's about a girl named Alice.

She goes down a hole in the ground...and she...

You seem excited.

I am!

When you are my age, you will see, you'll have long-since learned

...the greater one's anticipation of a thing, the fewer pleasures it eventually yields.

Lucy...I'm going below for an hour...

Unlike you, I need to compose myself.

You may stay here and examine the foreign shore.

Thank you, ma'am.

Fetch me in exactly 45 minutes, and not a minute before.

Unless some Red Indians try to come aboard in their canoes.

Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly...

Well, she had plenty of time as she went down, to look about her.

Little wonder what was going to happen next.

Around us for gladness the bluebells were ringing,

...and then little, thought I, how soon we would part.

No. no, Alice! What's the matter with you?

"How soon we SHOULD part"...

You're a terrible fuss, Lorina!.. What difference does it make?

How's it I sing it so bad?

You don't sing it RIGHT!

Don't say "DON'T", Edith... say "DO NOT".

It is vulgar to say "DON'T".

Then, YOU said it!

I did not!

You DID, Alice.

Why are you such a know-it-all, Lorina?

Well, I LIKE that!

seems to me, you're the know-it-all around here.

WOULD-SHOULD...SHOULD-WOULD...

Come on then... What's the difference?

She don't know.

DON'T say DON'T!

DON'T-DON'T-DON'T-DON'T...

Mr Dodgson would say D-D-D-D-D-DON't!

You'll get struck, making fun of him.

He says I'm a w-w-w-wistful, li-li-li-little, b-b-b-beggar-girl!

WHO says that?

Mr Dodgson, the mathematics tutor, Mamma.

Mr Dodgson said that?

Don't fuss...he was talking about photography, Mother.

About the pose for my picture.

He HAS photographed Tennyson, you know.

"Half a league, half a league... half a league onward..."

"All in the valley of death, rode the six hundred."

Yes, yes, Alice, don't show off...

We all know "The Charge of the Light Brigade."

I don't.

But Tennyson was quite rude to poor Mr Dodgson...

You didn't know THAT, did you?

What do you mean, Alice... ...RUDE?

Did he make fun of his stutter?

Be quiet!

Well, Tennyson told his guests...

...that he often dreams long passages of poetry...

Then he turned to poor Mr Dodgson who'd scarcely said a single word...

- How DO you know? - Mr Dodgson told me. of course.

And Tennyson turned to Mr Dodgson and said...

"You, I suppose, dream photographs."

Mr Dodgson seems to confess a remarkable number of things to you, my dear.

Oh yes, Mr Dodgson talks to me a lot.

So it seems.

He says every man should have someone he can trust his secrets with.

Trust...

But why on earth should he say that to YOU?

Because he loves me, of course.

He loves us all, Mother.

Each and every one of us.

"The Times"?..

I thought the "Trib" would be the only one to have this crazy idea.

Are YOU kidding?

She's better than Peter Pan, Huck Finn and Santa Claus rolled into one...

You know why?

She's for real.

You're not supposed to be here... You're not entitled...

You don't work for the papers anymore.

No, no, no...but watch!

Hey...fellas...how are you doing?

Oh, look at your little bunny.

So cute!

What's the little girl's name?

Hey...Lucy! Lucy comer here!

What do you want?

You're with Alice, right? Where's the old lady?

I don't know what you're talking about.

C'mon...Alice...Alice in Wonderland... You work with her, don't you?

What's she like, Lucy... and where is she?

Down her rabbit hole?

Don't be scared, honey...

We only want to set up a press conference.

An interview with her.

Why don't you find Mrs Hargreaves... that's who they want...

They won't leave either of you alone until they've seen her.

Now, where is she?

In the cabin?

But she mustn't be disturbed.

She said she'd...

Would you like somebody to come below deck with you, Miss?

You'll get no 'exclusive' here, Jackie-boy!

So, care, you guys!..

He doesn't even work for a paper anymore.

So, what's he doing here?

So, go on...go get her... Bring her up here, honey!

We won't bite!

Not much, we won't!

Please, I beg you... all of you...

...not to address her as "Alice."

- What's that? - We mustn't call her "Alice".

No...her name's Mrs Hargreaves.

And she's be very upset if strangers were to call her anything else.

Mrs Hargreaves... I can see it now...

"Mrs Hargreaves in Wonderland."

It ain't got the same ring, sweetheart.

Where is Mr Hargreaves, anyway?

Who is he? Some kind of white rabbit?

Have you any messages for the children of America, ma'am?

Message for the children?

I have been invited here to receive an honorary degree

...from Columbia University.

As part of New York City's celebration of the centenary of the birth...

...of the Rev Charles Dodgson.

Who's he ma'am? Can you spell that?

Quiet!

Thank you.

I did not expect so much fuss.

I was simply the little girl to whom he once told his tales.

I can scarce recall him after all these long years.

Come on, Alice...ALICE!

I'm asked if I have any message for the children.

I do... Indeed I do.

I hope they'll more successfully learn than you appear to have done...

...how to address their elders... with respect.

I hope too, that they will say their prayers...

...before getting into bed.

That they will sit up straight at the dinner table.

And always keep their hands and faces spotlessly clean.

And read sensibly books in a light good enough not to damage their eyes...

And yet not so harsh as to entirely remove the shadows

from the corners of the room.

Now, if you please... I wish to be pestered no more...

...with your clamour, or your impertinence.

Come along, Lucy dear.

Alice, I got a quick picture with the white rabbit.

I guess she doesn't like rabbits.

Are you sure this is for us?

See you at Columbia University, ma'am.

It's part of the celebrations.

Welcome to what we earnestly hope will prove to be a new Wonderland...

...for an Alice who is ever young.

What's it all mean?

Why so much fuss?

Lucy...whatever shall we do?

Mrs Hargreaves?

I'd no idea so much would be expected of me.

Would you like me to order you a nice cup of tea?

Tea? Yes!..oh no...no!

No, I'm told the Americans don't know how to make a proper cup of tea.

In any case, my poor old head is in such a whirl...

We're not going to be left alone.

Not for one minute.

No...not more, surely.

It looks like a greenhouse in here already.

Who is it dear?

What do YOU want?

You...

Lucy!

You mind if I come in?

Wait...wait!

Mrs...

Madam...these few red roses...

are for the enchanting little girl of all our childhoods...

...who grew up to be such a gracious lady.

Are you by any chance, one of those...

What are they called...?..

- Ma'am? - Homosexuals.

Oh, no!

No, I'm not.

Thank you, just the same...

I don't want them...

The flowers.

Don't you?

Well, in the first place, I don't know who you are, young man...

And secondly, we're already up to our knees in blooms.

Flowers remind me of death, you know.

In which case, I'm very, very sorry, ma'am...

I'll take them with me when I go.

When you go...yes.

I have no wish to be ungracious...

But would you mind telling me what it is you want...

Are you employed by this establishment?

He was one of the reporters that came onto the ship.

He's the one who called for silence.

John Francis Dolan...

New York Herald Tribune...

Formerly.

One of THAT rabble.

Yes, we were, weren't we?

But that's exactly why I'm here, Mrs Hargreaves.

5 minutes ago I telephoned a friend of mine on the Trib...

There's gonna be an editorial in the paper tomorrow...all about YOU.

ME?

I just had a feeling there WOULD be... and not only in the Herald Tribune...

I jotted down what they say... I'd like to read it to you...

Is it inconceivable that her presence... that's you, Mrs Hargreaves...

Is it inconceivable that her presence might remind a host of worried Americans...

...how much more there is in the world than economics...

..and how scant a relationship the world has to...

Fun!

What is he saying... What does it all mean?

If you go to any one of these windows, and look out...

No...Much too high!

You'd see what looks like what is a very rich city...

Probably the richest city in the world, but...

We're in the middle of a Depression.

- I know that. - OK...so there's a lot of worry out there.

Thieving, crime, racketeers...

Hoodlums, kidnappers, killers!

Don't you have something that I believe is called an "electrical chair"?

"Electric chair" ma'am.

Yes...precisely.

Yes, we do...but troubles can't always be cured.

Sometimes we have to dream a little.

Weak...very weak...

One should always address oneself to things as they actually are.

Pull the switch... Fry them!

That's as maybe...

But people want to think of nice things now and again.

People want to make-believe.

Don't they?

- Yes...they do. - You see. - Lucy!..

Speak when you're spoken to, if you please.

Sorry ma'am.

Yes, she's right...they do...

And you're going to find that out over here, Mrs Hargreaves.

We all want you to be the...

The little girl you once were.

The little girl Mr Dodgson made me out to be...

...70 years ago.

Yes...yes...Lewis Carroll and...

It's intolerable...quite intolerable!

It would be difficult enough at my age to be what I once was...

But utterly impossible to be what I never was.

You're throwing away a great, great chance here...

Can't you just sometimes TALK like Alice in the book...you know...

Play the part.

No...that is completely beyond me, young man...

And apart from being dishonest... it is also extremely vulgar.

Listen to me, Alice!..

Is there no one in this land who has ANY manners?

What?

In a few days time I shall be 80 years old.

If, and only if, you were 81...

it MIGHT be possible for you to call me by my given name...

...upon so short an acquaintance.

Kindly address me as 'Mrs Hargreaves'.

Wow!

I beg your pardon?

Did you say you were almost 80?

Are you attempting to suggest that in some way I look younger?

Am I attempting...no..no...

There's no need to attempt anything...

Because you don't look a day over...

No...

I won't say, because you won't believe me.

Ma'am...you LOOK terrific!

What a fraudulent young man you are!

You're lovely!

That's it!..

When you clapped your hands like that, I could see right back across the years...

I could see why this Lewis Carroll fellow... whatever his real name was...

...fell head over heels, with...

What did he call you?

"The Dreamchild".

I don't think I...oh!..dear!

Mrs Hargreaves...

Lucy...

What is it?

Mrs Hargreaves...

Alright...it's nothing...

Shall you lie down?

Something or someone stepped on my grave.

That's all.

Now, now Alice...

We must try to keep quiet, quite still.

Oh, dear!

Mama says that's impossible.

Oh, she does, does she?

How very tiresome, mothers can be!

She says I'm a fidget... "A perpetual fidget".

I shouldn't worry too much about it, Alice.

I like you exactly the way you are.

Do you, Mr Dodgson?

Really and truly?

Alice...

Mr Dodgson?

I wouldn't change one hair of your head

I think i will lie down for a little while.

If you don't mind...Mr...

You must ask him to leave.

Oh, yes...of course.

But ma'am...

May I please speak with you later?

Come along, Lucy.

What does he want? What is he after?

Something, I'll be bound.

It won't be long now, Lucy.

Not long to wait.

Ma'am?

Not long before I see, what I'm told is the radiant face of my Maker.

No, ma'am... I'm sure you have plenty of...

Plenty of...

Plenty of what?

Plenty of days?

I doubt it.

Not even many an hour.

You don't know that!

Of course I know it, you foolish child!

I don't mind, Lucy...

It will come when it comes, and it will come as a friend.

When I was your age...

I used to wonder how the very old managed to cope with the thought.

Now that I'm "very old" myself...

I find "The Grim Reaper" has a smile on his face, after all.

Mrs Hargreaves...

Come on... Off with the other boot!

Yes, ma'am!

You're a good girl, Lucy...

...on the whole!

My husband is dead...

And my sons were killed by The Hun.

You know the thing I shall most strongly object to...

...when the trumpets sound on the 'Other Side'?

No.

The Almighty Maker shall make the mistake of bidding me welcome in German.

I'm not REALLY worried.

I'm sure God is a gentleman.

Let's hope so.

Well, if He isn't...

There's a good number of my family before me...

...who must have had a considerable shock.

"Dreamchild"...

I wish this could go on forever and ever.

Perhaps it will.

Nonsense, Mr Dodgson...

Nothing lasts forever.

Not on this river, anyway.

Oh, but it does, Mrs Liddell...

It does last forever...

At least, if you're rowing, it does.

Nevertheless Mr Duckworth...

We have to be back at the deanery an hour before dinner.

Oh, mama...don't talk about going home, yet.

Don't say "DON'T"!

Oh, no...we haven't had our tea and cakes yet.

Very nice cakes, too.

Although I do think we ought to find a nice glade with some shade.

Alice...what are you doing?!

Alice...apologise at once...how dare you!

What a terrible thing to do!

But he was looking at me.

A captain can look at a queen, you know.

"Looking at you" Alice...? Really, I don't know what you mean.

Be quiet.

Say you're sorry, at once!

No, no...it doesn't matter.

Dear Mr Dodgson...I'm sorry.

I was only playing.

I'll just show you how really truly sorry I am, Mr Dodgson...

You shall have my prettiest handkerchief to dry your poor face.

Thank you.

Don't be foolish, Alice.

I'm quite sure Mr Dodgson has a much more sensible handkerchief of his own.

Yes, of course.

It's big...with white...spots on it.

What...?

But how...?

I didn't quite close the door when I left.

But why?

Need you ask?

No!

Please don't be scared... It's alright.

It's NOT right!

You must go... Please...You must!

You want me to?

No, but...

Please!

I just want to talk with you for a few minutes...

That's all...Honest! Come down with me...

Come down with me!

We can't talk here... we'll have some tea or something.

No, I can't DO that!

She's asleep!

Isn't she?!

Come on.

It was time for Alice to have some tea.

She saw a table... set with cups and saucers and plates...

...under a tree.

The Hatter...

...who was quite, quite mad...

...and the March Hare...

...equally mad, of course...

..were already there...

...having their tea.

A dormouse was sitting between them.

What a quaint thing!

In fact...he was fast asleep!

The other two were using it as a cushion.

A what?

A cushion.

A cushion!

How very uncomfortable for the Dormouse.

Lucy!

Lucy!

Where ARE you, girl?!

Lucy... Come here!

Lucy...

What on earth are...

- You said "tea". - What?

Tea!

You said "Come down for tea."

But what this is, is "tea"...

It's a "tea dance".

Come on... Relax, Lucy...relax!

What if she wakes up and I'm not there?

You can't spend every second of every minute, worrying about THAT.

What sort of life is that?

Come on...let's dance.. That's what the music's for.

What's the matter...? Did I step on your toes?

She's going to die.

What?!

Any moment now.

And she knows it.

Mrs Hargreaves.

She's going to die.

THEN what shall I do?

She's very old, Lucy... We all have to...sometime.

Besides...she doesn't treat you very well, does she?

I don't have anyone else.

Oh, that can't be true, Lucy...

You don't know anything about it.

It's just different in England...

Not many jobs for someone like me.

It's the same the whole world over...

It's hard times, darlin'.

This isn't just a job, though...

She makes me see the world.

At least I see it through HER eyes.

Lucy!

Yes...

Alright...I'm coming...

I'm coming...

- No room.. - No room!

There's plenty of room!

Plenty of room!

Have some wine!

I don't see any wine.

There isn't any!

Well, it wasn't very civil of you to offer it!

Well it wasn't very civil of YOU, to sit down, without being invited!

I didn't know it was YOUR table.

It's laid for a great many more than three.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Lovely!..Riddles!

I believe I can guess that!

Do you think you can find out the answer to it?

Exactly, sir!

Then you should say what you mean!

I do...at least I mean what I say...

That's the same thing, you know.

Not the same thing, a bit, you fool!

You might just as well say...

"I see what I eat" is the same thing as

"I eat what I see."

You MIGHT just as well say that...

"I like what I get"...

Is the same as "I get what I like."

What day of the month is it?

What day of the month is it?!

What?

You stupid half-wit!

Ugly old hag!

You should be dead.

Dead!

Dead...

I think it's the 4th.

The 4th?..the 4th?..the 4th?

You're 2 days wrong!.. Wrong! Wrong!

Wrong!

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

I told you butter wouldn't suit the works.

But it WAS the best butter... The best.

There must be some crumbs in it!..

...shouted the Mad Hatter, shaking the watch...

...very, very angrily.

I say old chap, I really think we ought to eat something, you know.

Time for the buns!

"What a funny watch," said Alice.

"Why?"

It tells the day of the month and not what o'clock it is.

Meanwhile...

...to wake the Dormouse...

...the Hatter poured a little tea upon its nose.

Hot tea.

Stop it! Stop!

Hot! Hot!

Oh, it's bloomin' hot, that tea!

Have you guessed the riddle yet?

No, I give up.

What's the answer?

I haven't the faintest idea.

Nor I!

Well, I think you should do something more with the time, than waste it...

...in asking riddles that have no answers...

...Riddles that...

Wasting time...

Do you mean... you've never even spoken to Time?

- No. - But she knows how to BEAT time.

When I play music.

That accounts for it, Alice.

He won't stand beating, you know!

He's a very sensitive fellow.

In story, that is.

Yes, Mr Dodgson...

In a story.

I'm not keeping you?

Well, old chap...some of us think it's time we had some tea, ourselves.

I'm so sorry!

I'm so enjoying the Mad Hatter and the March Hare.

I WISH they were real.

Mrs Hargreaves speaking.

Yes...

I beg your pardon?

I don't understand...

A broadcast?

You see...5 minutes... nothing to worry about.

Hey...Jack!

They DO look like a pack of wolves when they're all together, don't they?

Those reporters.

If she's woken up, and I'm not there...

Are you frightened of her?

I'm frightened of everything.

I'm frightened of the world.

Mrs Hargreaves is speaking...

Yes! Yes!..this she... Mrs Alice Hargreaves.

Have I heard of your soap?

What do you mean..."soap"?

What?

Oh..I don't take...

I'm sorry...it's all my doing, ma'am...

Lucy...you wicked, wicked girl!

How dare you leave me alone in this strange...

But I thought you were so asleep that...

Lucy I'm so...

- It IS my fault... - Please don't...I'm sorry...

I didn't think.

The telephone...the damnable telephone keeps ringing.

The most impossible people...

I don't understand a word they say.

I don't understand it at all!

What do they want of me? Who do they think I am?

All these questions!

The fuss...the telephone calls...

And it's all coming back...

I'm starting to dream about it.

Dodgson's coming back to haunt me.

He's coming back... I don't know what to do!

Mrs Hargreaves...

You can make a lot of money out of all this.

What did you say?

Money, ma'am.

A lot.

How much?

Thousands.

Dollars or pounds?

Take your pick.

Those calls you had... I'd lay you any odds...

They were asking you to do this or that interview, or broadcast...

or endorsement...

Somebody even had the unmitigated gall to ask me to open a toy store!

Do they think I am some sort of a tradesperson?

How much?

I beg your pardon?

How much did they offer?

You mean they would pay?

Yes, ma'am...indeed they would.

Filthy lucre!

I have noticed that it is only those who do not have a sufficiency of it...

..who call "money" by unpleasant names.

People want to buy a piece of the genuine storybook Alice...

..and I can steer you towards the right place, at the right time...

...at the right price.

Is something wrong, honey?

Is that why you asked me to the tea-dance downstairs?

So that YOU can...

Well...I don't foxtrot very well, do I?

But I thought...

I thought...

Hey...now wait a minute...Lucy...!

Never mind that, young man...

Sit down, if you please!

Sit down and talk to me.

As to dishonest flirtations...

It's always better to be sparing with the butter...

...and never put it on with the bread-knife.

That feeling...

Sorry?

Everything you were about to say has been said before.

Yeah...

I know that well.

So...

You wormed your wiggly way into the sweet young thing's heart

...haven't you, Jackie-boy?

No...the old woman's.

Liar.

Sally!

Liar, I said.

You're the girl for me.

You don't mean it, do you?

Men! You don't mean it.

I'm gonna get drunk.

Joe!

Yes, Mr Dolan?

Coming up.

So, what's she like?

She's sour, sharp...

Feeble sometimes...and VERY English.

No...the little girl.

She's shy...naive...

Quaint.

And sweet.

Sugar candy.

Alone now, for 2 scorching days without water, on the endless prairie...

Watched only by a lonesome vulture...

Angelina Collier could find no hope on any horizon.

Water!

Her horse exhausted...

Her lips cracked.

Her heart heavy.

Water...water...

But Angelina was not alone...

The renegade Big Chief Coiling Snake...

and his vicious tribe, had already seen their next innocent victim.

The complications with this Mrs Hargreaves...

Are you Mrs 'HAR-GREEVES'?

'HAR-GREEVES' Mrs Hargreaves...

You just take it straight through, from the top...

Until you reach the bottom.

Yes.

Only please sound as though you really mean it.

I always mean what I say.

She knows what to do, Mr Marl.

Please!..I'm doing a show here.

Oh no!

Help me!

Someone!

Please!

Meanwhile, on another part of the prairie...

'Tumbleweed Luke'...at peace with himself and the world...

...sings a song, as he moseys along with his faithful horse, 'Bullet'.

I'm confessin' that I love you...

Tell me do you love me too?

I'm confessin' that I need you...

Honest I do...

I need you every moment...

In your eyes I read such strange things...

But your lips deny they're true...

Will your answer really change things?

Makin' me blue...

I'm afraid someday you'll leave me...

Say'n "Can't we still be friends?"

If you go you know you'll grieve me...

All in life on you depends...

And I'm guessing that you love me...

Dreaming dreams of you in vain...

I'm confessin' that I love you...

Over again.

Well, guys, Mrs Hargreaves was really taken by you all.

A most exciting tale.

We were thrilled, weren't we, Lucy?

Yes ma'am.

It's an honour for us to have the real Alice in Wonderland here.

Isn't she a darlin'?

None of us had any idea Alice was a real person...

A real little girl.

It's like having a history book come alive.

Oh, gracious, I'm not as ancient as that!

What was he like, ma'am... Lewis Carroll?

It's always been one of my favorite stories.

I was a caterpillar once, you know... on the wireless.

Good gracious, you're English, aren't you?

Barnwick...born and bred...

You couldn't really have an American Alice in Wonderland, could you?

Oh, come on... They're bringing a film out of it now.

They are? Who is?

When?

It was in last week's "Variety".

It's Paramount I think.

Bing Crosby's playing the Mock Turtle.

And Gary Cooper's in it, too.

But who's to be ME?

Can they do that?

Doesn't seem right.

Don't worry about it... we'll take 'em to the cleaners.

He's talking American.

Mr Dolan's using slang, ma'am... He's talking about money.

Money?

You can always tell when he's doing that...

His lips go all wet.

Hey Lucy!

Well folks, we've only got this space for 15 minutes.

Maybe we'd better...

Think of the microphone as a sort of face...a friendly face...

A face?

Whose face?

Goodbye...good luck.

When I was a little girl...

...who followed a white rabbit, and fell down a hole in the ground...

I found a bottle which said "Drink me."

It made me very, very small...

But now that I am so much older...

This'd be quite a different Wonderland...

I found on the shelf quite another bottle.

...which looked so good, it didn't need to say...

I can't say this, I can't possibly... it's utterly absurd.

For crying out... That's the third time!

He's writin' in the paper... It sounds like a bush-fire.

OK...once more...cue the music.

Mrs Hargreaves, please...

It would be much better if you didn't analyse what you're reading...

Don't even think about it... It's only a stupid commercial.

Well, thanks very much!

Not think about what I'm saying?

I've never heard anything so reprehensible in my life!

What's so funny, miss?

Nothing's funny...

Mrs Hargreaves...

Please wait for the music!

But...there was a green light!

Cue the music!

When I was a little girl...

...who followed a white rabbit and fell down the hole...

Who are you?

I hardly know Sir... just at present.

At least I knew who I was, when I got up this morning.

But I think I must have changed several times since then.

What do you mean by that... explain yourself!

I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly...

Being so many different sizes in the day, is very confusing.

It isn't.

Well, perhaps you haven't found it so...yet...

...before you turn into a chrysalis...

Pooh to that!

You will one day...and after that into a butterfly.

I think you should find it a little queer...don't YOU?

Not a bit!

Well, perhaps your feelings may be different.

All I know is it would feel very queer to me.

So...you think you've changed, do you?

I'm afraid I AM changed.

I can't remember things.

Can't remember WHAT things?

I don't know.

Let's say...things best not gone into...

...but might...remember...

My mother tore up ALL his letters to me.

What letters?

Mr Dodgson's letters.

Why should she want to do that?

Unless there was something...wrong.

Something I can't bear to think about.

So don't think about it... You silly old baggage!

I don't...

I mean...

I didn't.

It was the journey out here...

Everyone ASKING things of me...

The way I've USED him...

It's too bad.

Repeat...

"You are OLD...Mrs Hargreaves!"

Oh, yes...

"You are...

...old..

...old...

"You are old Father Williams," the young man said.

Your hair has become very white!

And yet you can certainly stand on your head.

Do you think at your age, it is right?

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son...

"I feared it might injure the brain."

But now that I'm perfectly sure that I have none...

...why, I do it again and again!

Oh, it's lovely, Mr Dodgson!

Lovely!

The most exciting...the most wonderful thing that ever happened.

i shall read it again and again and again!

Then I shall start at the last page and finish at the first.

I hope you will always cherish it, Alice.

Dear, dear Alice!

I WILL, Mr Dodgson.

Even when you're quite grown up, little Alice?

I said so, Mr Dodgson.

Yes, of course...

I don't mean to doubt you.

It's only a book, isn't it, Mr Dodgson?

Alice!

Aren't you coming boating?

We are ready, you know.

Hurry up Alice, or we'll go without you.

We'll meet you in the quad.

Shan't be long... it's only Mr Dodgson here.

I'm sorry, Mr Dodgson, but I have to go now.

Lorina is going on the river.

And there's a nice young man called Reggie Hargreaves coming too.

And he's a VERY good oarsman!

He seems very fond of Lorina.

I brought you this book today, because...

Do YOU know why I chose today?

To give you the very first presentation copy of this book, Alice.

I HAVE to rush, Mr Dodgson.

It's exactly one year today, since OUR trip up the river.

Lorina will be very impatient with me.

No, no...you must hurry, my dear... You must hurry.

Alice...

Three commercials, in one afternoon.

Soup, soap, and soda-water!

I expect they all taste the same!

I thought Jack was supposed to be joining us.

Lucy, is something the matter with your food?

No, ma'am...thank you.

You're not eating it.

I know.

You know, Mrs Marl used to cook some meals for me sometimes...

It's not exactly cheap, you know.

It all came out of my pocket.

Yes, ma'am.

Lucy, there are many millions in this tormented world of ours...

...who would fall upon your dinner like ravening wolves.

I'm sorry.

"Waste not, want not"...

I thought they'd drummed that into you, in the orphanage.

That young man, Jack...

Do you know... he's been a godsend.

Of course, he may well be greedy...

...taking 20% of the fees that are due to me...

20%?!

But then, on the other hand, what would I have done without him?

Gee...did you say 20%?

Are you not well, child?

I'm sorry.

Yes, ma'am...I mean no...

Then, eat!

If he's taking 20%...

I don't feel like it...

Lucy...what is a companion supposed to do?..

Be morose? Be silent? Be inattentive?

At long last.

Hey, Jack... Glad you could make it!

It's good news...I just put all...

You're LATE, Mr Dolan.

I've just been on the phone to Los Angeles...

They're 3 hours behind us here, you know...

...and the guy I had to get to wasn't available until 5 o'clock...HIS time.

Nevertheless...

Paramount Studios.

We were not prepared to wait... so we began.

Who did you say?

I got you another $1,000.

That makes another $200 for you, right?

But that's nearly...

It's over £200!

Good heavens above, how did you do it?

All you have to do is endorse the "Alice" movie.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

Could I get a cup of coffee and a hot pastrami, on rye.

The "Alice in Wonderland" film.

You get yourself photographed with the stars...

...and you tell the world that you've seen it all...

The adventures of Alice exactly as you pictured them when you were a little girl...

...when Lewis Carroll told you the story.

But what if it isn't like that... this talking picture?

What do you care?

A love of money is the root of all evil.

Maybe...but the lack of it is worse than the love of it.

"Amen" to that.

Say something, Lucy.

Say what?

Don't expect HER to speak... She will not condescend to that...

Lucy has suddenly decided to be a petulant and ungrateful young woman!

Shut up!

WHAT did you say?!

I said SHUT UP!

Shut up, shut up, shut up!.. You nasty old cow!

Let's take no notice... I shall ignore it...

The poor child must have eaten something disagreeable.

We shall ignore it...

Endeavour to ignore it.

I think I ought to see if she's alright.

Certainly not!..

I'm going to find Lucy.

If I behaved like that...

My mother would've...

Your mother would've...what?

I'm sorry...

Your mother...

What about her?

I have got a very important phone call, I've got to make...

It's just across the road... I won't be long...OK?

Mother!

Come on...you're getting soaked.

There's no point...

I've lost my job...

That's certain...

What's the matter with me?

Well, there's nothing the matter with you.

You're just not a doormat... that's all.

It's about time you stood up for yourself.

Why did you come out?

Did SHE send you?

No...

She didn't.

There's no money in it, is there?

What?

If you offend HER...

...all your hard work will've been wasted, won't it?

And isn't that the most important thing in your life?

Don't you put that before EVERYTHING?

Sure.

You betcha!

Look at her!

The perfect Victorian.

I don't want to hurt her.

I couldn't.

We don't have to tell her ANYTHING yet.

It'll keep.

There you are.

- Mrs Hargreaves... - Lucy, dear...

I've been sitting here examining my life...

..and I've come to the conclusion...

...I have not behaved properly to you this evening...

But that's when someone apologises to you, my dear...

...it is usually considered politic, not to interrupt.

3 of those 'Knickerbocker Glories'... if you please.

Right away, madame!

I've been turning those days over and over in my mind...

...since I've been here.

Mrs Hargreaves...

Did we wake you up?

Well, what are YOU doing here?

It's after 2 in the morning!

I telephoned Mr Dolan.

Why?

What's the matter?

Has something happened?

Mr Dolan is being very kind...

He's helping me.

Mrs Hargreaves is worried about her speech at the degree ceremony tomorrow.

She didn't really want to talk about Lewis Carroll.

Or Dodgson, I should say.

May I be part of this conversation?

I can't seem to sleep for some reason.

That's because you're in love.

How did YOU know?

Because it's an emotion which has always frightened me.

But I can always recognise it when I see it.

I do so love to hear you laugh, little Alice.

Do you, Mr Dodgson?

It's the nicest sound I know.

Nitrate...

I hope you'll always remember our little moments together...

My dear.

Time can blot out so many, many things.

I couldn't forget... not even if I tried.

Oh, but you will.

When you grow up... ...Then perhaps.

One fine day, come to marry.

You can come to afternoon tea with my dear husband and me

on Sunday afternoons.

Do you like your cold sandwiches, Mr Dodgson?

Very much.

Blind.

Door.

Mr Dodgson...

Marry.

Is this another game?

Yes...so help me... I'm talking in riddles.

I do so like riddles!

That's what I said to the Mad Hatter!

Or was it the March Hare?

You must take care never to lose your head, my dear.

Perhaps the queen... the Queen of Hearts.

No...I meant...

Off with his head!

Don't lose YOUR head...

...with curls and a pretty smile.

Because I...

I thought we were going to play a game.

Yes, dear.

Come along, then...

Come on then, Mr Dodgson.

I'm waiting!

Alice is waiting!

Sing me a funny song!

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat...

How I wonder what you're at...

Up above the world you fly...

Like a tea-tray in the sky.

She looks as though she can't believe it.

She can't believe it.

Just so long as she sticks to her speech, she'll be alright.

Ladies and gentlemen...

This afternoon we are gathered here to celebrate the genius of Lewis Carroll...

...on this centenary of his birth.

A celebration, which Columbia University shares, through this broadcast...

...with listeners throughout the United States...

...Canada, England, and Europe.

A celebration most especially and fittingly honoured...

..by the presence, the grace, of the little girl...

...to whom Carroll told and dedicated his story.

Alice herself.

Would you care for another scone, Hargreaves?

I know how gigantic you sportsmen's appetites can be.

No thank you Mrs Liddell... I've had more than plenty already.

And what about you, Baker...?

No, thank you, ma'am... I'm satisfied too.

Mr Dodgson?

Yes, I think I could manage another scone.

Of course... please help yourself.

Edith! Come away from the water, at once.

Mama, I'm tired of sitting still.

Sitting still is good for little girls.

You want to grow up as pretty as your sisters, don't you, Edith?

No, I don't.

It IS rather hot to sit still and do nothing.

Father would have let the sun make one's skin brown...

We should all look like Irish labourers!

"God ferbid, y'r Honour!"

Only tinkers need to bring the Deity into it, Hargreaves.

You joke, Mr Dodgson!

Course I was.

"Sure you are, and all 'n all!"

Has everyone finished eating?

Then we can entertain ourselves.

Who would like to sing?..

...or to recite?

Mama, mayn't we just talk?

Why don't YOU sing, Alice?

Yes, Alice!

Not now, Lorina...later perhaps.

I'm afraid I'm no good at singing.

Come on Alice... Silence the birds!

Perhaps she doesn't want to sing, Hargreaves.

Mr Dodgson can tell us a story, instead.

That would be very nice.

Yes...something out of your masterpiece.

Oh, no Lorina... We know it all off by rote.

I read it all the time, Mr Dodgson... it's lovely!

Would you like me to recite the song of the Mock-Turtle?

Yes please Mr Dodgson.

Quiet, everyone.

Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail...

There's a porpoise close behind us and he's treading on my tail...

See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance...

They are waiting on the shingle... Will you come and join the dance?

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you will you join the dance?

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you...

Won't you join the dance?

Alice!

You can really have no notion how...

You can really have no notion how de...

...delightful...

I'm sorry.

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you will you join the dance?

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you won't you join the dance?

Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail...

There's a porpoise close behind us and he's treading on my tail...

See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance...

They are waiting on the shingle... Will you come and join the dance?

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you will you join the dance?

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you won't you join the dance?

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you will you join the dance?

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you won't you join the dance?

It was a very clever and funny poem, Mr Dodgson.

Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers...

...would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman...

... and how she would keep, through all her riper years...

...the simple and loving heart of her childhood...

...and how she would gather about her other little children...

...perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago...

...and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows...

...and find a pleasure in all their simple joys...

...remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.

...and find a pleasure in all their simple joys...

...remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.

In the little verses in the front of the story...

...Lewis Carroll... that is the Rev. Charles Dodgson...

...said... "Alice, a childish story take...

...and with a gentle hand

In memory's mystic band.

Like pilgrims with a wreath of flowers...

pluck'd in a far-off land.

At the time I was too young to see the gift whole.

To see it for what it was...

To acknowledge the love...

that had given it birth...

But I see it now.

At long, long last.

Thank you...

Mr Dodgson.

Thank you.

What is his sorrow?

Agh!..It's all his fancy, that!

He has nae got any sorrow.

Oh, for God's sake, shut up!

Subtitles by FatPlank for KG