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1x00 - Pilot
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♪ He's Dynamite ♪
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♪ So Dynamite ♪
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♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪
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♪ Ooohhh, ahhhh ♪
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♪ He's Dynamite ♪
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♪ Dy-no, dy-no ♪
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♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪
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♪ Oooohhhh ♪
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♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
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Welcome to Massa's Fried Chicken.
How may I take you your order?
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Now, why don't you tell
Black Dynamite what that secret formula is.
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You know I can't tell you that, daddy.
Mr. Massa would fire me.
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- Hmm.
- Whoo! Salt, white pepper, black pepper,
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parsley, rosemary, thyme,
savory sage, garlic powder!
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Yeah, mama. Just one more.
Give me that 11th herb and
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- spice, baby. Come on.
- I feel like my whole world is shaking!
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Wait a minute, mama.
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It ain't me shaking your world this time.
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Damn it, I was one spice away.
Who is this interrupting my seduction?
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That's what I'm talking about!
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Black Dynamite, you
haven't changed a bit, man.
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Dennis Flynn! The only cool
cracker I ever met in the C.I.A.
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- What are you doing here?
- Is there somewhere quieter we can talk?
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We're inside a chopper!
And I can't stop looking at your dick!
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To what do I owe this visit, Dennis Flynn?
And why are you here?
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15 years ago, the school system in this
country was totally in the bomb dropper.
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- You mean the [bleep].
- Exactly.
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- Go on.
- Personnel was scarce, and funds were tight,
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so the C.I.A. started a covert op designed to
educate kids with hardly any money or people.
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- Hmm. "The puppet show."
- That's right, Black Dynamite.
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This is T.F. Kurtis ...
A.K.A. That Frog Kurtis,
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one of the most outstanding
educators this country ever produced.
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That Frog Kurtis made me
the moral citizen I am today.
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He taught me all the important
[bleep] like, "polluting is not
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giving a hoot," and, "if anyone
can prevent forest fires, it's me."
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I know that, Black Dynamite.
That's why I'm here.
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Now, our intel suggests that
that Frog Kurtis has gone rogue.
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We don't know what he's
planning, but we do know it's big,
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and it's scheduled to go
down tomorrow at 7:00 A.M.
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from the C.I.A. no more" is it
you honkies from the C.I.A. don't understand?
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This isn't about the honkies,
Black Dynamite! It's about the children.
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You know what, Dennis Flynn?
I never told nobody this.
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But I used to be a children.
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Now, I could lie to you and say
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I'm just going out for a
pack of cigarettes, but the
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truth is I'm leaving you to raise
8-year-old Black Dynamite by yourself.
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Now, dig it while you can, because the
light just turned mother [bleep] green.
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- Bye, bitch.
- Three minus one equals two.
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Snap out of it, Black Dynamite.
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Dennis Flynn, I
just got one question.
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Can you tell me how to
get to Puppet Street?
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Cream Corn, Honey Bee, Bullhorn,
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I appreciate y'all making the time to
roll with me on such a short notice.
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You know
I'll do anything for your sexy ass.
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It's cool, B.D.
I needed to get out my mama's house anyway.
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She was cold tripping. She talking about
some, "Cream Corn, take out the trash.
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00:04:09,799 --> 00:04:13,859
Cream Corn, clean out your room."
I'm like, "mama, bitch, pimps don't do chores."
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Black Dynamite, I know you got
the warm and fuzzies for Puppet Street,
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but tonight, we might be wearing
their asses on our mother [bleep] feet.
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Fuzzy pimps, furry
hustlers, and hairy hoes.
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Looks like puppet street
done gone grimy ghetto. Oh, no!
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Bullhorn,
I'm starting to get the feeling that
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that puppet show we see on TV
is just a show.
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- That's right! You on puppet turf now, bitches!
- Crenshaw the slime ...
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- the puppet that loves to hate.
- Yeah, that's me, Black-ass Dynamite!
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And if there's one thing I
really hate, it's a big-ass,
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shiny-ass, greasy-ass
action-figure negro like ...
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Cream Corn, lay a grenade on me!
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Oh [bleep]!
I hate grenades!
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Ohh, Black Dynamite, you ain't [bleep].
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Now, we need to split
before these puppets...
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- That Frog Kurtis?
- No, it's That King Pimp Kurtis now,
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mother [bleep] ribbet,
mother [bleep] ribbet!
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And I guess you're supposed to be
that super [bleep] Black Dynamite.
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So, so, so, so, so, so, so,
so, so, it's not true?
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No, it is true. It's just that no...
puppet ever called me [bleep] before.
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Now, what kind of diabolical dirt
are you planning with these kids?
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Oh, I got your diabolical dirt right here!
Diabolical these nuts!
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In your face!
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I know you hear me snapping.
I know you hear me snapping.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
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Wait a minute, ho. What's this?
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You know my money supposed to
be folded, not rolled-ed, bitch.
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- Aah!
- Man, you ain't pimpin'!
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Those little, itty-bitty children are kids.
Where your bitches at?
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These kids my [bleep] damn bitches, huh!
And I'll make you my bitch, too,
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you keep running your mother [bleep] mouth.
You ever been slapped across
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- your [bleep] face with a frog dick, huh?
- Oh, hell no.
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- You ain't gonna ... aah!
- What was that? I-I-I couldn't hear you that time.
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It sounded like
you had a frog dick in your mouth.
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- Why, that Frog Kurtis? Why?
- Why? Why?
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You know, I think it's time for big
Black Dynamite to learn a little lesson.
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Listen and learn, Black Dynamite, 'cause
That Frog Kurtis is a straight-up pimp!
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Ribbet! Ribbet!
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♪ 30 years on public TV ♪
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♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Raisin' these [bleep] damn kids for free! ♪
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♪ That [bleep] is over now
that's not happening. ♪
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00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,696
♪ Now I gets my green from Hustlin'... ♪
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♪ ...kids ♪
♪ My arm is skinny, but I'll slap your face! ♪
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♪ Pimp hand strong
so damn strong ♪
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♪ I have the power of persuasion
give me a kid! ♪
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♪ Girl, boy, black, or whitay ♪
♪ Come and rob your mamas and daddies for me ♪
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♪ Rob your mama, jack your daddies ♪
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♪ When you leave your mother [bleep]
kids to froggy ♪
107
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♪ Raised by the TV, haven't you heard? ♪
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♪ They'll do what I say
when I give the word! ♪
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♪ You won't believe, they're so naive
that frog's a pimp ♪
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♪ He's about to rob the nation ♪
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♪ when the kids tune in
to the public TV station. ♪
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I'm about to be on top of the world!
Green is the new black, baby!
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Ribbet! Ribbet!
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Now, in five minutes, I'm gonna show you
what kind of power a frog really got, jack.
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00:08:07,364 --> 00:08:11,071
Whoever said the revolution wasn't gonna be
televised didn't know what the [bleep]
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- they was talking about, sucka!
- Man, Black Dynamite ain't nobody's sucka,
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- you fly-soup-eating mother [bleep].
- Who you supposed to be?
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00:08:19,376 --> 00:08:22,710
Dr. Seuss? Huh?
We have the black-ass Dr. Seuss in here.
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Now, quiet on the set, jack! I mean it!
Shut the [bleep] up!
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After the broadcast, kill their asses, please.
Please. Please.
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Hey, kids, I want to thank
you for tuning in to a very special
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episode of "the Puppet Show!"
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I hope you all remembered to bring
one of your mama's stockings, guns,
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gloves, like I told you last week,
'cause it's gonna go down this week!
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Now, the word of the day is "money."
126
00:09:01,851 --> 00:09:06,121
As in "King Pimp Super Kurt
needs you to bring all the money."
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00:09:06,123 --> 00:09:10,558
- Say it, kids, with me. "Money."
- Money!
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00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,694
- You want some of this?!
- Yeah, sucka.
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00:09:12,695 --> 00:09:14,458
You don't
mess with the Honey Bee!
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00:09:14,533 --> 00:09:18,199
I will sting you!
I will sting your ass!
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00:09:18,201 --> 00:09:20,635
Come on!
Let's go, little jack.
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00:09:20,637 --> 00:09:22,870
I got you, sucker. Daisy kick.
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Take that!
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Now, listen to froggy, baby.
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'Cause y'all know ...
you know and I know ...
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- that That Frog Kurtis is a ...
- Jive-ass mother [bleep].
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00:10:05,599 --> 00:10:07,049
Wait, Black Dynamite.
Come on, now. Come on.
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00:10:07,050 --> 00:10:08,500
I'm part of every
lesson you ever learned.
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00:10:08,502 --> 00:10:11,870
I got you ... I got you ... I got you out of
peeing in the bed. Your daddy wasn't
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00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:14,773
there for that, Black Dynamite! Your daddy
wasn't there for that, Black Dynamite!
141
00:10:14,775 --> 00:10:19,932
I'm leaving you to raise 8-year-old
Black Dynamite by yourself. Bye, bitch!
142
00:10:20,267 --> 00:10:23,262
You and me are like one.
143
00:10:23,263 --> 00:10:29,853
Don't let the man...
pit us against each other, okay?
144
00:10:38,410 --> 00:10:41,572
Black Dynamite, thank you for coming on
145
00:10:41,573 --> 00:10:44,734
"the Puppet Show," as my
special guest and best friend.
146
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:49,827
And you kids can forget about
everything that Frog Kurtis was saying.
147
00:10:49,862 --> 00:10:53,454
I was in make-believe land,
but Black Dynamite
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00:10:53,589 --> 00:10:56,215
took me out of it. Right, kids?
149
00:11:00,753 --> 00:11:03,753
sub by f1nc0, sync by santibone
~ addic7ed.com ~
13981
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