All language subtitles for Arrested.Development.S05E15.WEB.x264-STRIFE

Now, the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything

and the one son who had no choice

but to keep them all together.

It's Arrested Development.

♪ Just like the white-winged dove ♪

♪ Sings a song
Sounds like she's singin' ♪

♪ Ooh, baby, ooh, say ooh ♪

Oh!
Look who thinks they can wear white.

You don't like this on me?

Well, frankly,
it's hard to think about it

over the sound of...
Was there a cat in here?

That was my singing.
That's my talent.

Oh. You'll be fine.

Most people close their eyes
when they plug their ears.

- It's not true.
- It is, Michael.

It's very impossible not to.

Well, I can. This should be my talent.

The competition's in 40 seconds.
You still have nothing?

I mean, I can see
that you're talking, but I just...

I'm not a lip-reader.

It'll be fine, honey.

Maybe it'll be better
if you don't win this one.

And you wouldn't be losing much,

just a cruise with your grandmother.

Okay, I heard that.
With Lindsay out of the competition

and Buster gone missing,

you're my only real competition, Michael.

- What do you mean, "gone missing"?
- I... I told you.

My plan. I took Buster off his leash,
and I brought him down to the beach.

Don't worry, I told him how to swim.

Hmm, my only thing is,
I have to figure out how

to neutralize you, Michael.

Oh, my... Oh, my God!

That was a freebie.

♪ Just like the white-winged dove
Sings a song ♪

♪ Sounds like she's singin' ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ How much can you do? ♪

♪ You lift and push and struggle ♪

♪ When the foot's on the other shoe ♪

♪ Just grab ahold and juggle ♪

♪ All those balls in the air ♪

- Ha!
- ♪ How hard can it be? ♪

♪ So hard you're getting dizzy
Flip those balls ♪

♪ In the air ♪

♪ Keep those balls in the... ♪

But where did the confetti come from?

From Michael's hat.
Honestly, these are so easy.

That's it. I'm done. Ow.

Abra...

cadaver.

What do you think? Can we chisel off
the hat of this thing

without taking off the whole guy's head?

Oh. Well, the competition's not over.

We haven't even seen Lindsay.

And you never will.
I want to save you the trouble

of having to close your eyes
while plugging your ears.

So how's this for my talent?

Honestly, I don't know

how Tap-Dancing Ghost doesn't take
the whole thing.

Should we just throw a handkerchief
over this?

Michael will do something impressive.
Don't worry.

Buster went in the water.
He tried to swim. He almost drowned.

Oh, my God! Do something!

Save him!

No, no, no, this isn't...
this isn't Michael's talent.

This doesn't... This doesn't count!

Who took off his gentleman collar?

Oh, spirit of this dead bird,

fly into my dead brother!

Oh!

Oh!

I'm not too bad at this thing.

Well, we all know
who the hero is today.

We have our new Mr. and Mrs. Bluth.

Michael and Buster.
You're okay, honey.

Mommy's here.
And as much juice as you want tonight.

Tonight, you get juice.

It was the day of Buster's trial.

And while the Bluth family was

- feeling tense...
- You okay?

- Uh-uh.
- ...they were hoping the same

- was not true for their attorney.
- Where is Dusty?

Oh, he wants to make an entrance.

I... I think he's gonna come in...
nice and relaxed.

And thank you again
for being a team player on that one.

Believe me, the guilt will fade.

I mean, I've cheated on you
a thousand times.

I mean, almost makes up
for the permanent damage

you did to my endocrine system.

- Oh, God! God!
- Uh-oh.

- Easy.
- Oh, man.

What a day!

Sorry. Just... I heard my...

my dad's in the hospital. Just...

- No, don't worry about that.
- I didn't need this today.

Don't worry about that.

You need to focus
on your opening statement.

I go first? You said I was second.

I'm not ready!

You are second.

All rise for the Honorable
Judge Spencer Stanley presiding.

- Please be seated.
- I cannot wait

to see her reaction when she sees him.

You cut your hair.

Eh. Yeah.

Does she look rattled to you?

And soon, Michael arrived,

just in time for the opening argument.

...the defense will probably
have you review a video, the one here,

where they'll claim
that he had merely approached

and discovered a body on the stairs,

and then claim
it miraculously disappeared.

It did.

And so, it would seem that it did.

Unless a closer look was made
of the time code.

We'll learn that the gap

was the result of Buster trying
to destroy the evidence.

And we'll also review footage
of the same stair car

on a bluff over the ocean

and a man who appears to be Mr. Bluth

tossing what appears
to be Ms. Austero into the surf.

Let's remember why we're all here.

To honor the life

of the most charitable,

vibrant, balanced,
beautiful woman named Lucille

this town has ever known.

Burn.

It's just that my mother's name
is Lucille as well,

- so the... the burn was on her.
- I'll allow the burn.

Mr. Radler,
you may begin your opening argument

- for the defense.
- I... I know.

- Oh!
- Things were off to a bad start.

- But on the plus side...
- If you find that funny,

wait till you hear
the defense's opening argument.

...Dusty got the laugh he'd hoped for

at the start of his defense.

Uh, I... I didn't know
about the videotape.

So, I mean, what...

- If you'll... ...please...
- I... I'm...

Hmm. Yeah.

You can just see
he... he's throwing the body

right off the cliff,
so everyone's like, "Uh..."

"I mean, what else could it be?"

I didn't even know
you could use videotape. Um...

But to the Bluths' surprise,

the DA didn't immediately call
for a mistrial.

I'm feeling
like people are judging me,

and it's just not making me feel
that great.

I... I feel like I got, like, totally

the hard part of this case.

- What the hell is going on?
- Although she did show

uncommon empathy
to the opposing counsel.

You can do it. You're ready.

Everything go okay last night?

I think I made a terrible mistake.

In fact, she had,

as, the night before, while believing

she was paying a carnal visit to Dusty...

Oh, it's so dark in here.

Hello?

I can hear you breathing.

Oh,
so you did know I was coming.

Good for you, getting a head start.

And speaking of that...

But, had the lights been on,
Lucille would have discovered

that the tubes and other accoutrements
weren't there

for Dusty's erotic entertainment...

...but were instead the implements

That kept Dusty's
centenarian father alive.

So, Lottie is his ex?

- Stepmom.
- I really appreciate this, Lottie.

Please. I've known you since you were 30!

And you can call me "Mom."

Mom.

If... If the judge will allow it,

permission to hug the defense counsel.

Hell yeah. Let's get the hug on.

Yeah! Yeah!

Aw.

Oh! My baby!

It would've been a great ending
for a feel-good movie,

but it was a horrible beginning
for a gruesome murder trial.

What a baby!

Shut up, murderer!

Well, he is. Clearly is.

And during a break in both the trial

and the hug of the opposing attorneys,
Lucille caught up with Dusty.

I was a little nervous.

For my first murder trial, though,
my first anything trial, not bad, right?

That was humiliating.

I thought Lottie was your ex-wife.

Nah. I mean, she's a little old for me,
don't you think?

She's, like... ...your age.

Look, I'm sorry. Maybe I wasn't clear
about our relationship.

Uh, are you super mad at me?

Oh, for God's sakes,
stop talking like a child.

I mean, how old are you?

- Fifty-six and a half.
- Jesus!

Pull yourself together.

Absolutely.

Not gonna let that ruin my recess.

There you are. Okay.
Now, Mom, what in the hell was that?

I thought this was Dustin Radler,

the fierce trial attorney,

the only one who's ever beaten Lottie.

Well, as it turns out,
the Dustin Radler I've been with...

is his son.

Oh, my God, he's a motherboy.

There were...
There were no hints before today?

Just that I only ever seem
to create or attract them.

You got us into this mess.
What are you gonna do?

All right. I made an awful choice,

but did I give you a hard time
when you gave all our life rights

to Imagine Films to make some TV show?

- That was somewhat amiss of you.
- Yes, you did.

As it turns out, nothing came
of that project, which I predicted.

Just like I predicted your bet

on the DA calling a mistrial
wasn't exactly beating the odds.

- She offered him gum.
- Okay, I hired

a completely incompetent lawyer
and put my son's life in the hands

of a moron, and I know
what you want me to say, Michael.

Okay, I'll say it... My bad!

Wow. I don't think
that I have heard you apologize since, um,

uh, since people used to use
that phrase to apologize.

Okay, well,
I think we may have to beg the judge

- to declare a mistrial.
- No.

We have to do this now
while they still don't have a body.

It's our best chance for acquittal.
We'll work with what we have.

Maybe her maternal instincts will kick in,

and we'll benefit
from her being his stepmother.

Yeah, I don't know about that.
He's not a child, after all.

It occurs to me that he may not come back
from recess

unless he hears a bell. I'll get him.

As the trial was continuing,

Dusty was desperate
for any kind of witness.

- ...Guys and Dolls...
- Even one that came

- with a headshot.
- I was more than interested

to try out to be one
of the character witnesses

in Buster's trial.

- Thank you for offering.
- That's very nice.

Oh, please. I know the Buster character
better than anyone.

I could play Buster with one arm
tied behind my back.

In fact, I've played Buster
with two arms tied behind my back.

I was handcuffed.

Well, this is...
They're buying it!

- Now, that's a witness.
- Um, we don't need you to play Buster

on the stand,
more just talk about him as a person.

Oh. Well,

you don't think
I'd be more appealing as the accused?

I mean,
the Buster I played could never kill.

Yeah, it's...

it's really not an acting job, man.
I can't...

Yes, yes, just... don't push.
I get it.

Just tell the story the way
you told it to me earlier today.

Beginning with what you were doing
the night of the murder.

Alleged murder. Alleged.

Yes, yes.

It was Cinco... de Cuatro!

No, no, no,
I'm... I'm gonna stop you there.

- I still feel you're acting.
- Really?

- A little. I do.
- Huh.

So, just no script at all?
Just vérité? Okay.

Well, uh, here it is with nothing.

I needed somebody to play a part in my...

Fantastic...for legal purposes,
I can't say the rest of it... musical,

and Buster happily filled in.

Well, "happily"
might have been an overstatement.

I've got a show to do in ten minutes,

and I haven't got a Thing to wear...
this Thing suit.

I gotta find Lucille 2.
I gotta give her pictures.

I don't know the songs.

You're a monster.
You don't have to be any good.

What?

So, you're saying Buster was performing
as the rock monster

when the murder allegedly took place?
Is that true, Buster?

That's what I told you.
He asked me to that night.

And you'll confirm that on the stand?

I will.

And perhaps I'll do it
in an English accent!

Nay, nay, I shan't.
I shall stick to the script.

Not script. Nope. Vérité.
I have taken the note... vérité.

- Yes, yes.
- Great.

Now, I do wish I could do this gratis,

but I'm having a bit
of a shelter crisis of late.

- I hate to play hardball...
- I don't think

that they pay witnesses.

Hmm...

Uh, unrelated...

What happens to this room when you leave?

Yeah, I think they lock it up at night.

Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

Damn it!

I just...

...need somewhere to s...

All right, well, gentlemen,
thank you so much for your time.

And I will be seeing you.

But back at the model home,

an unemployed Michael was doing
his own courtroom preparation,

when he had a visit...

- Hey, Dad.
- ...from the son who had unemployed him.

Hello, son.

- Figured you'd be up here.
- Yeah.

Well, that's...
father-son psychic connection.

The drop stairs were down,
and you were yelling, "Where is it?"

Oh, that helps, too.

- Sure.
- Trying to find old law books.

Lottie Dottie Da did say
that Dusty would give the guilty guys

a run for their money.

I think she was being sarcastic,
but I am free now,

so I'm gonna try to help out in court,
which is why I'm trying to find...

A copy of A Few Good Men?

Look at that. How'd that get there?

Actually, I thought
I'd find my maritime law diploma.

You know, as proof that I passed
what they call the "wet bar."

You know,
you may not have to get involved.

I mean, is this something
maritime law even applies to here?

It should. He dumped her in the ocean.

- True.
- Allegedly.

- Obviously allegedly.
- I'm worried this is

part of that thing that you always do.

You try to fix things, and you end up
putting yourself in the middle of them.

- You have to be the hero.
- Oh, well. I do not get in the middle.

You dated my girlfriend.
You moved into my dorm room.

You make it sound
like I'm always in your business.

- You bought my business.
- Well...

Which has been a huge headache.

Now I have to deliver this border wall
to the Chinese.

These are great points.

But what you don't know is
there's a reason I had to announce that.

I know about the foot.

It's why I had to fire you,
because by trying

to fix things,
you just end up putting yourself

in the middle of a much bigger risk.

'Cause if you think the Chinese
are mad now,

wait until they find out
that Fakeblock is not even...

perfect yet.

So I hear.

I cannot even get past the logo,
so you're close.

But I get it.
You need time and money,

and I know I was against this originally,

but... maybe you can still sell it
to Rebel.

No, I would never do that.

Thank God.

Because she's just using you
for the software.

But I'm not getting in the middle.
I'm just agreeing with you.

Don't even need to know your reasons.

But why?
Just out of curiosity.

Why can't you sell Fakeblock to Rebel?

And just... just consider it a... a question
from an outsider.

Because she dumped me.

You're not just trying
to please me by saying this?

And I wish I could give her the software

to get her back, but...

it's... it's fake.

I knew it. I knew it.

She's not over me?

No, Fakeblock. It's fake.

There is no privacy software.
I made the whole thing up.

Made it up?
You told me a lie because you...

I lied to you because you seemed
so proud of me, and then...

my lying just got me
in deeper and deeper,

and then you bought the company,

and I had to fire you
so you wouldn't get in trouble,

and now the whole family is in trouble,
and I have no idea how to solve it.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Are you mad?

Uh, no.

Uh-uh. I'm not... I'm not mad.
I, uh... I get it.

You had your reasons.

Um, I... I do wish that I had not removed
all of my privacy software

and replaced it with Fakeblock,
but on the other hand,

it does explain why Pemender
from Kuala Lumpur

keeps signing into my Linkedln.

The Chinese are gonna kill us.

- I'll get us out of it.
- Please don't.

And back at the trial,
without Tobias,

Dusty was without a witness
for the night of the murder.

But Lottie had found one.

I call to the witness stand Gene Parmesan.

Gene Parmesan.

Gene Parmesan?

Doesn't seem like he's here.

That's impossible.
He's a private detective.

He'd never be late.

Well, has anyone checked under the...

new bailiff?

- Gene Parmesan.
- Gene!

And I swear to tell the truth,

- so help me God.
- That never gets old!

I'll tell you something else
that never gets old. Whoops.

I'm under oath.

- On the night of Cinco de Cuatro...
- Yeah.

...you were undercover,
working selling donkey punch.

- Isn't that correct?
- Definitely undercover.

I don't need two jobs.

'Cause everything's going really good.

What exactly is in a donkey punch?

You know, mostly Kool-Aid.

- So it's similar to juice, then?
- It is.

Lucille was concerned.

The DA appeared to have done
her homework on Buster

and his lack of restraint
under the influence of sugary juice.

And she found herself resenting a man

- she'd once admired.
- Your witness.

But Lottie stopped short
of making that point.

Do you want me to take it easy on him?

Or give it to him hard?
I know he's a friend of yours.

He's not my friend anymore.

Testifying against our family

after all the times
I faked being surprised by him?

So Dusty went
after the witness's credibility.

Mr. Parmesan,
you say you're a master of disguises.

How many looks
are you capable of creating?

You asking me?

I'm the judge.

I'm Gene Parmesan.

You say you had an undercover job,

which means you must have left
the donkey punch stand.

Isn't that correct?

- Yes, it is.
- So you can't dispute my client's claim

that he was dressed as the rock monster

out on that floating barge
when the murder took place.

Allegedly.
Allegedly took place.

No, I did leave the donkey punch stand,

uh, right before the play began.

Mm-hmm. So how can you be sure

that Buster didn't change
into the rock suit...

as we've claimed?

'Cause it was me.

After fighting with Lucille 2,

Buster did end up
at the donkey punch stand...

It's punch, like the juice!

Oh, I need some juice.

...but flew into a rage

when he saw an old rival...

...leaving behind

the costume he was to be wearing, to a man

who never said no to a costume
or a part-time job.

That's me.

Yep.

Wha...?

But while Gene
may have undermined

- Buster's alibi...
- Gene!

...back at the office,
George Michael was worried

- about his dire situation...
- Tickle, tickle.

- Uncle Tobias, hi.
- Come on.

...when an even more dire one came
through the door.

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

Well, our stay at the Spotted Palm

came to a rather abrupt end
when "Bev" here...

decided to look at her cellular telephone
without holding it at arm's length

and putting on her readers first.

- She blew our cover.
- Sorry, I keep forgetting

that acting is my passion.

It really ruined

Annette's funeral,

may she rest in peace.

Maeby killed Annette?

Where did we land with that?

Uh... gore... she was gored.

Yes. Gored in the running of the bulls.

People were getting suspicious,
so it had to be somewhere

where there wouldn't be a body.

Or where an animal took off
with the body so fast...

- That you couldn't get it back.
- Exactly.

That was the idea.

- Yep. Yes. Yep, yep.
- Yeah, yeah.

Good. Well, if you guys were thinking
about staying here...

Oh, thank you so much.
I told you he would come through!

We cannot move in soon enough
for you.

Some of our happiest days
as a family were spent here.

It's not
an abandoned office anymore,

so there are people doing work...
out there.

Uh-huh. Well, if it's work you require,
I suppose we can act it off.

- Yeah, that's going to be a problem.
- Well, surely,

there must be some, uh,
in-house corporate training seminar

we could do
or... or a sexual harassment video.

I mean, I'm no Harvey Weinstein,
but I'm sure I could produce one.

And I knew him. Did I tell you that story

when Mr. Weinstein killed my ficus
in the '80s?

When he came over to audition me for...

Yes. We all know DeBrie Bardeaux snagged
a private audition

with Harvey Weinstein.

Yeah, but I came on too strong,
so I didn't get the part.

Yes, well, some of us weren't lucky enough
to even have an audition to blow.

Gosh, I don't really know
if we need any acting right now.

The stuff we're doing here,
it's more about preventing hacking,

- protecting privacy, and stuff like that.
- That's what I was trying to stop, too.

Yes, Murphybrown here is a bit
of a computer whiz.

Mm...

He's worked on cable boxes.

Yeah, I actually coded,
like...

an extra layer beneath the firewall
to keep your data from being exposed.

It's like a dam or, like, a... a stopper,

or a barrier to stop people from...

- Like a block?
- Okay.

Can we do this in English, Professor?

Oh, s-sorry, sorry, my...
Sorry, my fine student.

I need a diagram.

It makes no sense at all.

But what he's basically saying is,

nobody wants to be naked
underneath their underwear.

So, one adds an extra layer of protection.

It doesn't have to be denim, per se,

but everybody wants to hide their privates
from something.

Not everybody.

- Can you show me?
- Oh, sure.

- God, yeah.
- No, your program?

The... The code that you wrote?

George Michael was as surprised

as the courtroom was about to be
when the DA introduced a witness

who would turn the whole case upside down

with a sense of the dramatic.

Okay. Now, Warden Gentles,
you recently paid a visit

to the Hollywood motion picture
director Ron Howard

with information about the Bluth family

you thought was pertinent
to a project he was working on

about the Bluth family.

- Isn't that correct?
- That is correct.

- Oh, my God.
- This had to do with an incident

in Buster Bluth's past, correct?

Yes. It is so.

And how exactly did you acquire
this information?

Well, if I may be eloquent,
straight from the horse's mouth.

And who is the horse?

Lucille Bluth,

of course, of course.

But all that information
on that case

- had been sealed.
- Well, all seals can come loose

with a little bit of...

Gentles' pressuring.

And Lucille herself had been
so loosened.

Some months earlier,
Lucille had enticed Warden Gentles

to a private dinner in order

to get her son Buster released
for a Second of July parade.

And through the course
of a well-served meal,

and even more frequently served
bottles of wine,

Lucille rekindled a friendship
in order to ask for a favor.

But as the afternoon turned into evening,

intimate details issued forth

from a now-drunken Lucille's mouth.

Information extremely useful

to a warden with ambitions
of a screenwriting career,

who had heard
about an Imagine streaming series

about this exact family.

So, while Lucille got her son out
for a parade,

Warden Gentles got a lot more.

In fact,
the only thing guarded that evening

was Warden Gentles' private trailer.

And you shared these stories
with Ron Howard?

- He did.
- I did.

Exhibit 3-A, Making of a Monster.

I would like to play a clip
of the season finale.

And so, they played much
of the Imagine Bluth project.

Now, remember, this is really rough.

And our location guy was only able
to rent out the cottage for shooting

for, like, two days.
And it's all temp sound.

- We haven't licensed most of this music.
- What? What do you think you're doing?

I told you. I'm taking this girl who,
in my opinion,

has been mistreated by you
for far too long

on a cruise with her grandmother.

You're not taking her anywhere.

Oh, come on, Mom.

I am almost 14,

- and you have been mistreating me.
- Oh...

You go to your room.

How dare you?

We both know that child
is about to turn 18.

- Oh, that's right, it slipped my mind.
- Oh, please.

That's all you've been thinking about
since you put her up for adoption.

It hasn't been on your mind?

You swooped in and stole her
from the Standwells

when you found out about the endowment,

'cause you just had to have
a cottage on the beach.

You can say goodbye to that, honey.

Because that child is mine,

and I have nothing else
in my life right now.

And I'm not gonna spend
the rest of it singing

on a cruise ship for snifter tips.

I knew this is
what you were up to.

Suddenly, there's no gentleman caller
in the picture,

and you decide to look out for yourself?

Oh, you're one to talk
about looking out for yourself.

I've never been invited
to this place even once,

and let's not forget who paid for it.

And this is how
you want to be paid back?

You think you're gonna walk
in here and take away my child?

That's not your child.
That's my child, and we both know it.

No.

It's not true. I still have it!
I'll still wear my gentleman's collar!

But you're not my mother.
Mother's my mother, Grandmother!

You know, it's funny,
I was actually worried

about them showing this in court,
but it... it turned out better

than I'd remembered.

And I actually think
it's a good advertisement

for the show.

Of course,
we still haven't gotten Brian's notes.

And obviously,
we're gonna put Jean Smart's face

on the stuntman.

And Cobie did a great job, too.

You know,
I... I should send her something.

- Did you know about this?
- No.

My dad made us give up Netflix
when they went up by two dollars.

Is that an accurate depiction

of what Lucille told you was a true story?

I'm not just saying this
to suck up to Ron Howard,

but I think we nailed it.

So, Buster Bluth

has killed before in the exact same manner

he killed Lucille Austero!

Wow.

Prosecution rests.

We will reconvene tomorrow.

- Mistrial! Mistrial!
- Yes, yes!

I missed your trial!

So you sell me out to Warden Gentles?

And we both know you said
I wouldn't get in trouble.

- You made a promise!
- No, Buster, it was a mistake!

You can live with her, Dusty.
She can be your mother.

Now you made it almost impossible
for me to win this case.

I mean, was that an option?
Because you did almost kill my dad.

♪ Mother and boy... ♪

On the next Arrested Development...

George Michael discovers
Murphybrown knows

more about computers
than he'd been letting on.

...they'll just be getting
this placeholder data

instead of your real data.

- So, like, do you want to watch Gone Girl?
- Yeah.

Okay, 'cause I just ripped it.
But guess what?

They'll never know,

because they will be seeing...
this dummy info.

- It works.
- Mm-hmm.

Pretty much all the time.
Pretty much works.

- It's like a big deal.
- I know.

- Take a look at it there.
- Well, this is Fakeblock.

- You made Fakeblock.
- Mm.

Hey,
do you want to see Ben Affleck's peen?

Yeah. Would love to.

Huh, what do we have here?

Huh. Yep, yep.

Huh. Yep. Yep. Yep.