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1
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:36,120
FORBIDDEN CITY, CHINA
1887
2
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:03,200
You are not permitted to gaze
at the Imperial Seal
3
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,760
I received a letter
from Brother
4
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,360
He is doing fine in America
5
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,800
He sends his love, Father
6
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,480
Your brother is dead to me
7
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,000
Ugh!
8
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,640
Boxers!
9
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,920
Not one step further.
10
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,920
The keeper
of the Imperial Seal...
11
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,920
Just the man
I was looking for.
12
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:10,480
Ai!
13
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,360
A woman.
14
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,760
You Chinese
are very progressive.
15
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:17,160
Hah! Ai!
16
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,240
Ugh!
17
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,240
Yah!
18
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:43,880
Ugh!
19
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,240
Uhh.
20
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,440
A gift
from an old friend.
21
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,200
Wu Chow.
22
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,640
He wanted me to send
his regards.
23
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,720
Ugh! Aah.
24
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,560
Father!
25
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,480
Yah! Yah! Yah!
26
00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:58,760
Uh.
27
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:02,200
Father.
28
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,200
The seal...
29
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,160
you must get it back.
30
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,600
I promise.
31
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:12,320
Give this...
32
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,040
to your brother.
33
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,760
CARSON CITY, NEVADA
34
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,120
What are you reading?
35
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:49,520
Oh.
36
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,000
Roy O'Bannon vs. the Mummy.
37
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,080
It's incredible.
38
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,360
Roy's just taken out
the mummy's entire army
39
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,080
of zombie
confederate soldiers,
40
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,880
and he only had one bullet.
41
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,600
That's impossible.
42
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:01,960
Oh, no, it's not.
43
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,720
Roy figured out
the physics of the canyon
44
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,520
and then ricocheted a bullet
off the canyon wall,
45
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,320
nailed each zombie
through the heart.
46
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,640
What about
the Shanghai kid?
47
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,440
He was captured
and knocked out on page 10
48
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,520
while he was polishing
Roy's pearl handles.
49
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:16,640
Don't you worry.
50
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,520
Roy's about to save him from
becoming a human sacrifice.
51
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,360
Those stories
are all lies.
52
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:23,680
No. See?
53
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,120
It says right here
on the back,
54
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,480
"Author Sage McCallister
bases all his stories
55
00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,120
"on firsthand accounts."
56
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,400
Sorry, Sheriff.
No princess.
57
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:00,920
Every day you meet
the noon stage,
58
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,560
every day
it's the same story.
59
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,040
She's not coming back.
60
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,520
Pei Pei's married to her work
in San Francisco.
61
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:09,840
Modern woman.
62
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,160
You got a parcel.
63
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,640
Maybe it's from her!
64
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,920
No. It's from my sister
in China.
65
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:09,680
I know.
66
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,720
I know. I must go.
67
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,920
Stay here and be a good
horsey for the new sheriff.
68
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:28,480
Uh, Sheriff,
that stage is headed east.
69
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,360
Isn't China
kind of west of here?
70
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,160
I'm not going to China.
I'm going to New York.
71
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,680
Roy invested my money.
72
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,400
Is it true that he lives
in a penthouse
at the top of the Ritz
73
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,200
surrounded by dozens
of beautiful women
74
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:42,800
at his every
beck and call?
75
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,400
That's the old Roy.
76
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,520
He's married,
settled down.
77
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:49,360
Trust me, he's changed.
78
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,040
So there we were,
79
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,760
completely outnumbered.
80
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,600
He didn't have to tell me
we didn't stand a chance.
81
00:10:56,680 --> 00:11:00,240
So I send the Shanghai kid
and the princess out the back.
82
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,320
Poor Shanghai kid.
He was so frightened.
83
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,720
He forgot to thank me
for saving his life.
84
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,520
I'm used to that.
85
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:08,720
I return to the front.
86
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:10,560
And I counted to three,
87
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:12,920
and I burst
out of the mission.
88
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,000
Pearl handles blazing,
lead flying everywhere,
89
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:18,760
and not a single bullet
touched me.
90
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,120
No!
91
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,200
Yeah.
92
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,640
What happened
to the emperor's gold?
93
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:24,880
Well, we divided it up.
94
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,080
I insisted on giving my share
to the Indians, of course.
95
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,600
The savages?
96
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:34,000
Please don't ever call
those noble people savages.
97
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,440
If being proud of your body
98
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,040
and wanting to
ride around naked all day
makes you a savage,
99
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,120
then, by God,
you're drinking with a savage.
100
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,800
And that is what you call
a French toast.
101
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,840
You are so sophisticated,
Mr. O'Bannon.
102
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:05,680
Whoo! Who's up for
some more bubbly?
103
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,560
Reach for the sky, Roy.
104
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,160
Say that again.
105
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,040
Reach for the sky, Roy.
106
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,120
Chon Wang!
107
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,720
You sly son of a gun!
108
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,480
Look at you.
Look at you.
109
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:32,960
What brings you
to New York?
110
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:34,800
My share of the gold.
111
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,040
Refresh my memory.
What gold
are we talking about?
112
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,160
The emperor's gold.
113
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,920
Okay, now, that gold is in
114
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,840
what the Wall Street pros
call a long-term investment.
115
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,720
We can't touch it
because it's building.
116
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:47,840
I need it tonight.
117
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,920
You just got here.
Let's celebrate a little bit.
118
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,000
No. I don't have time.
119
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,560
You just got to the big city.
My father's been killed.
120
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:57,320
Oh.
121
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,560
Aw, Chon, I'm...
122
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,120
You need the money to get
back for the funeral?
123
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,520
No. I must go to England.
The ship leaves tonight.
124
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,120
Your father died in England?
125
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,560
China. My sister followed
the murderer to London.
126
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,320
I'm a little bit
mixed up.
127
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,680
Let me see if I can get
the facts straight.
128
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,360
You have a sister? You never
told me you had a sister.
129
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,880
Is she pretty or does she look
like you, Chon? Be honest.
130
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,280
Roy, I need my money!
131
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,400
I don't like
that tone of voice.
132
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,120
You think after all we've been
through I'd stiff you?
133
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,840
In case you hadn't noticed,
I'm doing pretty well
for myself.
134
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,040
Yeah.
135
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,200
I'm sorry, Roy.
136
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,480
That's okay.
137
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,720
You're going through a really
tough time right now.
138
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,640
You got to be more trusting
of people, okay?
139
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,120
Look at me.
It's Roy.
140
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,640
The couple at table five
is ready to order.
141
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,040
Do you work here?
142
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,240
No, I don't work here.
143
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,880
It looks like these guys
are wearing a similar jacket.
144
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,720
Roy, here's your cut
of the tips.
145
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,800
It's the craziest thing.
I guess...
146
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,600
I guess because
I come in here so much
147
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,360
they're mistaking me
for a waiter.
148
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,760
It's embarrassing.
You lost the gold.
149
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,160
Not all of it.
Where's the rest?
150
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,720
I have one word for you,
151
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,080
zeppelin.
152
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:17,920
I need my money now!
153
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,760
Easy, easy.
154
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,080
Will you do anything
for this money?
155
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,080
Yes.
I must leave tonight.
156
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,240
Okay. Take this key.
157
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:28,880
Go to the room.
Get cleaned up.
158
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,640
Your old pal Roy's
got a plan.
159
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,440
Go! come on!
160
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,600
Howdy, big boy.
161
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:02,960
What?
162
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,160
There's a woman in there!
163
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,600
She wants me
to sleep with her.
164
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:06,800
Of course she does.
165
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,040
I told her the Great Wall
ain't the only big thing
coming out of China.
166
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,280
Why did you say that?
167
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,720
So you could get the money.
168
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,840
I will not sleep with women
for money!
169
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,080
Why? I'm gonna sleep
with her for money.
170
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,560
Chon, just go in there
and do your business
171
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,560
and think about your sister
in England.
172
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:24,640
What?
173
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:25,720
Roy!
174
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,160
Duty calls.
Roy!
175
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,520
Good evening,
Mr. Mayor.
176
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,880
Where are they?
177
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,240
Who?
178
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,400
Ugh!
179
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,880
My daughters.
180
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,120
10th floor.
181
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,320
Roy, you got trouble.
182
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,160
Roy!
I got to check
on something.
183
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,480
I'll be right back.
184
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,080
Chon, new plan.
We got to go.
185
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,800
Chon,
what are you doing?
186
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,160
I'm fixing her back.
187
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,640
Put her down,
you decadent philistine.
188
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:05,880
Ugh!
189
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,040
Ugh!
190
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,080
Hey, Chon.
Come on, let's go!
191
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,400
Bye-bye!
Bye.
192
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:12,520
Come on!
193
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,040
I don't understand.
What's going on?
194
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,480
I don't have time
to explain.
195
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,040
All you have to know
is there are bad men after us,
196
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:22,600
but I'm in the right.
197
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:23,760
Roy.
198
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:27,360
Chon, come on, you gotta
trust me on this one.
199
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,440
Okay, look.
200
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,160
I'm in a transitional phase
in my life right now.
201
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,520
But...
But what?
202
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,320
You want to know
the truth?
203
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,400
I'm a little lost
right now.
204
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,480
You've got
a sense of purpose.
205
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,600
But look at me.
206
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,120
I'm a 30-year-old
waiter/gigolo.
207
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,600
Where's the future
in that?
208
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,120
So, what's the plan?
209
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,280
You were always
my compass, Chon.
210
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,400
The plan. You ask me
the right questions.
211
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,440
The plan...
The plan, I think,
212
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,240
is to find
the right woman.
213
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,800
Raise a lot of children
and teach them values...
214
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,720
No, Roy,
the plan to get out of here.
215
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,440
Okay, the plan.
Here we go.
216
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,000
Cops! Cops!
They can help us.
217
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,840
No, no. Chon,
not these cops.
218
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:24,920
These are dirty cops.
219
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:26,880
They take advantage
of people.
220
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:31,280
Now, if they stop us,
remember,
I'm not Roy O'Bannon.
221
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,120
Who are you?
222
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,320
I'm your friend
Smoky Desperado
from the West.
223
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:37,920
And who am I?
224
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,880
You... You're Benihana.
225
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,480
Benihana.
226
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,760
Yeah. You teach, uh,
227
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,520
you teach crippled children
yoga here in the city.
228
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:46,720
Okay, you go first.
229
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,640
No! Why me?
230
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,800
Because you blend in, okay?
231
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,360
Now, go!
232
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,240
Don't let them see you!
233
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,000
Benihana.
234
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,520
Hey!
235
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:15,640
Hey!
236
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,920
Ohh!
237
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Aah!
238
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:35,920
Ohh!
239
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,040
Ugh!
240
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:57,840
Ohh! Aah!
241
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:00,440
Aah!
242
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:19,280
Psst!
243
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:20,480
Chon!
244
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,280
Come on,
stop wasting time.
245
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:28,440
You!
246
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,120
Chon, I found our ticket
out of here.
247
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,200
We're on our way.
248
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,320
Looks like old Roy
came through again.
249
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,560
Just like old times, Chon.
250
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,360
Check over there!
251
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:40,960
Over to the alley!
252
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:42,040
That way!
253
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,280
Yeah, just like old times.
254
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,240
Will you forget about
the gold for a second?
255
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:54,400
You're gonna have more money
than you ever dreamed of when
that first zeppelin takes off.
256
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,680
Why do I
always believe you?
257
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,200
What do you mean?
258
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,600
You're lucky
I didn't invest
259
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,520
in that ridiculous
automobile idea.
260
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,400
Yeah, that's gonna make
a lot of money.
261
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,000
What's that?
262
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,080
I'm in the doghouse.
263
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,360
Oh, come on, Chon.
264
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,200
Look, I'm sorry I lied.
265
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,560
I just didn't
want to disappoint you.
266
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,160
That's exactly
what I mean.
267
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,800
I can't take that look.
268
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,520
I learned it
from my father.
269
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,840
That's how he used
to look at me.
270
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,680
What did your dad do?
Was he an imperial guard?
271
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:56,800
No.
272
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,640
Much more important.
273
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:02,200
He was the keeper
of the Imperial Seal.
274
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,800
That's what I love
about China,
275
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,560
everybody's job description
sounds so damn cool.
276
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,720
The seal has been symbol
of the emperor's power
277
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,000
since Genghis Khan.
278
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,360
It has been passed down
from one emperor to another.
279
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,920
My family have been watching
over it for 12 generations.
280
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,600
Twelve generations?
281
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:24,080
My father and I used to
skip stones across the moat
282
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:28,080
and talk about a day
I would follow his footsteps.
283
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,200
I was his only son.
284
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:36,200
If I'd have been there,
I could have protected him.
285
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,640
It's not your fault.
You were 3,000 miles away.
286
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:43,720
What's with
that little box?
287
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,520
My sister sent it to me
from my father.
288
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,240
There's a message inside.
289
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:51,360
What's it say?
290
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,080
It's a puzzle box.
I don't know how to open yet.
291
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,760
You don't know how to open it?
Get a hammer and smash it open
292
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,080
so you can see what it says.
293
00:21:58,160 --> 00:21:59,800
I must have patience.
294
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,440
By the time
I'm able to open it,
295
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,000
I will be ready to read
the message.
296
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:05,440
Oh, come on, Confucius,
297
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,520
that's the corniest thing
I've ever heard.
298
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,360
Let me see this.
299
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,040
You know what?
300
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:18,960
We're gonna go to England.
301
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,600
We're gonna find
your dad's killer.
302
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,080
We're gonna get
that seal back.
303
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,680
There's no reward
for this, Roy.
304
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,080
Who said anything
about a reward?
305
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:28,520
I'm talking about friendship,
loyalty, honor.
306
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:29,960
Okay?
307
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,520
Thank you, Roy.
308
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,360
And I hear England
is ass soup.
309
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,680
A lot of pretty girls there.
310
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:45,360
LONDON
311
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,080
First order of business,
my Lords,
312
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:58,440
is a report from our esteemed
friend Lord Rathbone
313
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:03,440
who recently returned from
a diplomatic mission to China.
314
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:15,840
Fellow lords...
315
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,840
I'm afraid I bring disturbing
news from the Orient.
316
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,240
The Opium Wars
have ravaged the land.
317
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,520
The emperor's enemies
are organizing.
318
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,400
The most vicious
are the Boxers,
319
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,240
a godless band of rebels
who murder without discretion.
320
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,720
China is not well.
321
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,840
I have brought back
an envoy who should
give us some insight
322
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,520
into the inscrutable mind
of the Chinese.
323
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:50,720
Is he mad?
324
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,360
Given to Her Majesty
Queen Victoria by the emperor
325
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:58,240
in recognition of her
50 glorious years
on the throne.
326
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:01,760
Outrageousness!
327
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:04,840
Long live the queen.
328
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,080
♪ England swingslike a pendulum do
329
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,280
♪ Bobbies on bicyclestwo by two
330
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,360
♪ Westminster AbbeyThe tower of Big Ben
331
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,960
♪ The rosy red cheeksof the little children ♪
332
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,520
Jack the Ripper
strikes again!
333
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:31,680
Extra! Extra!
334
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:33,520
Read all about it.
335
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:34,840
Howdy, partner.
336
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,320
The English are not
very friendly.
337
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,400
They're just sore losers.
338
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:42,400
What did they lose?
339
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,560
A little thing called
American Revolution, Chon.
340
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,160
Never heard of it.
341
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,480
I'll give you
the highlights.
342
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,320
They came over
with about a million men.
343
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,160
We had a bunch of farmers
with pitchforks
344
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,280
and beat 'em like a drum.
345
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:55,680
Extra! Extra!
346
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:56,760
Hey!
347
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,600
Hey! I'm walking here!
348
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,560
You're driving
on the wrong side
of the road!
349
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,600
Bunch of amateurs.
These people don't get it.
350
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:08,840
Hello, ladies.
351
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:13,680
Look at you.
352
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,240
What? I'm not supposed
to notice a pretty lady?
353
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,720
I thought you wanted to
settle down and have a family.
354
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,840
I do, Chon.
I just hope I can.
355
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:22,920
Why not?
356
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,000
Sometimes I worry
357
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,720
that all the damn
horseback riding
358
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,200
I did out in the West,
359
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,320
bouncing up and down
on the hard saddles
360
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:34,000
might have made it
so my salmon
don't swim upstream
361
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:35,280
the way
they're supposed to.
362
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:37,600
What?
363
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,720
I might be shooting blanks.
364
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:41,960
Oh.
365
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,160
Don't say anything.
366
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,200
Roy, it's okay.
367
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,000
Some people are not meant
to have a family.
368
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,880
I've always had such a special
connection with children.
369
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,080
The little ankle biters...
370
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,280
Hey, watch it,
you little punk!
371
00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:59,040
Pardon me, guv.
372
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,920
You gents lost your way?
373
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,640
Yeah, we're looking
for my sister.
374
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,520
She's staying
at 32 Oxford Street.
375
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,520
I know it well, guv.
Me old man used to live there.
376
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:15,560
Can you show us the way?
377
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,560
Well, memory's a little dotty,
378
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:23,200
but I'm sure for a bob
I could get you there.
379
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,000
What do you take us for?
Okies from Muskogee?
380
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,120
Go sell your bullshit
someplace else.
381
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:29,200
We're not buying it.
382
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,200
Thanks for the tip, guv.
383
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,200
Hey! I stole that watch
from my uncle!
384
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:35,560
What?
385
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:39,560
♪ Aah
386
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,080
♪ Who-o-o-a ♪
387
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,000
This way.
388
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,280
Come here,
you little rubbish eater!
389
00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:06,320
What did I tell you about
poaching on our turf, Charlie?
390
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,560
I'm on the straight
and narrow. Honest.
391
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,600
Oh, what's this, then?
392
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,520
After I'm through
beating you,
393
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,600
you're gonna wish you never
ran away from the workhouse!
394
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,680
Leave the boy
alone.
395
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:24,680
Bloody tourists!
396
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,000
Get your noses out of it!
397
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,120
Do whatever
you want to the kid,
398
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:29,600
but that's my watch
you're holding.
399
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:34,360
Well, there's a load of us
and only two of you.
400
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,000
So piss off!
401
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,600
Easy, fellas.
You've lost one war this way.
402
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,320
Don't make
the same mistake twice.
403
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,440
Hah!
Ugh!
404
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,320
Come on! After him!
405
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:05,800
Hey!
406
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,080
There he is!
Get him!
407
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,120
We've got him now.
Come on. Move in, lads.
408
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,480
Come on, move in.
409
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:27,280
Aah!
410
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,120
Ha ha ha!
411
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:34,720
Aah!
412
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,320
Wait, wait!
413
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:41,720
Ohh! wait!
414
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:52,400
Come on! Get him!
415
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,680
Up the bloody ladder!
416
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:54,760
Come on!
417
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:03,440
Aah!
418
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:08,520
Aaah!
419
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:17,760
Aah! Ugh!
420
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:23,600
Aaaaah!
421
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,840
Hey! Hey!
422
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,400
Oh! Watch it!
423
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:34,640
Ugh, ugh, ugh!
424
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:35,720
Ugh!
425
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,240
Hey.
426
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:40,880
Ohh!
427
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:41,960
Aah!
428
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,240
Aaah!
429
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,000
Ohh!
430
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:06,840
Come here, you!
431
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:39,640
Cool.
432
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,600
Come on! Move it!
433
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,240
Come on!
434
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:15,720
♪ Do, do, do, do
435
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,680
♪ Do, do, dee, do
436
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:19,560
♪ Do, do, do, do
437
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:21,680
♪ Do, do, dee, do
438
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,520
♪ Do, do, do, do
439
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,080
♪ Do, do, dee, do ♪
440
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:30,520
Aah!
441
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:40,960
You!
442
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:51,800
Aah!
443
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:53,000
Whoa!
444
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,000
Did you see that?
445
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:57,840
It's okay.
446
00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:59,000
Okay?
447
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,800
I call that one
my kung pao chicken.
448
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,480
I clotheslined the sucker.
449
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,600
Come on, get back!
450
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:06,760
Clear away!
451
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:07,840
Come on!
452
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,120
Make way!
453
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:25,440
I think you gentlemen
should accompany me
back to the Yard.
454
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,440
This isn't a yard!
It's a jail!
455
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,440
This isn't a yard!
It's a jail!
456
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:29,920
Roy, calm down.
457
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:32,960
Unbelievable.
458
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:37,440
Wait, someone's coming!
459
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:38,520
Let me handle this.
460
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:39,760
I'm gonna handle it,
okay?
461
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,360
The English
aren't like you.
462
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,440
They don't get all emotional
touchy-feely.
463
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:44,600
Do me a favor.
464
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,120
Park the kung fu.
Let me do the talking.
465
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,240
Come here!
Let me give you a hug.
466
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:53,320
Ooh!
467
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:54,720
Ha ha!
468
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,280
I've been after
that Fleet Street gang
for two years.
469
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,320
Then you two come along
and bring them down
470
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:01,640
in a single afternoon.
471
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:02,760
Brilliant!
472
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:04,000
Now, um...
473
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:05,360
Oh, that's my watch!
474
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,320
Yes, a street urchin
turned it in.
475
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:09,280
The little punk better not
have scuffed it.
476
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,320
I do hope
your luck picks up.
477
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:12,480
What do you mean, my luck?
478
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:13,760
I deduced
from your watch
479
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,480
that you'd hit rather
a rough patch.
480
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,200
He has.
How do you know?
481
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,960
It's an investigative
technique I've developed.
482
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,160
I can deduce intimate details
about an individual
483
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,560
through a close scrutiny
of their personal effects.
484
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:27,960
What else can you tell?
485
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:34,600
The owner of this watch
is a bad gambler
486
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,120
and a lousy shot.
487
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,720
Although he's cheated death
several times
488
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,080
he spends most of his life
wandering in a rather pathetic
489
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,320
and futile search
for purpose and respect.
490
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:47,480
Oh, yes.
491
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,680
He has a penchant
for loose women.
492
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,560
Wow! That's amazing.
493
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,720
I'm sure it's a very popular
party trick
494
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:58,640
at birthdays
for small children
495
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,400
but it doesn't quite play
with adults.
496
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:03,160
Just to set
the record straight,
497
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,920
Roy O'Bannon is not attracted
to loose women.
498
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,640
Loose women
are attracted to me.
499
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,840
You're Roy O'Bannon?
Yeah.
500
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:11,880
The famous Western
folk hero?
501
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,080
Have you heard of me?
502
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:14,480
Have I heard of you?
503
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,920
I've only read Roy O'Bannonvs. the Mummy five times.
504
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,200
It's fascinating.
505
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,040
I want you to meet
the Shanghai kid.
506
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,800
Oh, yes. The faithful
Chinese sidekick.
507
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:28,400
I'm not a sidekick.
Those stories are all lies.
508
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,720
Hey! Come on.
Don't be bitter.
509
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,200
I can't help what
Sage McCallister writes.
510
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:36,400
If there's anything I can do,
I'm at your service.
511
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:38,320
We're looking
for my sister.
512
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:39,880
She's staying
at this address.
513
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,200
Can you take us there?
514
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:44,280
Oh, dear.
515
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,880
I think you'd better come
with me.
516
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:02,280
Hey.
517
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:06,480
Ohh!
518
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,080
Lin.
519
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:17,760
Wang.
520
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:19,480
Wang.
521
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:27,040
Um, if you don't mind,
I'll just wait outside.
522
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:31,600
Introduce me.
523
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,720
Oh, this is Lin,
my baby sister.
524
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,160
I am not a baby!
525
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:39,200
Roy O'Bannon.
526
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:41,960
Pleasure.
527
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,720
You never told me your sister
was such a...
528
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,560
beautiful lotus blossom.
529
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,240
Is this the American sidekick
you wrote me about?
530
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:54,320
Yes
531
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:55,400
What'd she say?
532
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:56,760
He’s very charming
533
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,480
No, no, no. No talking about
me in your native tongue.
534
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:01,960
Why are you in jail?
535
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:03,840
I followed the man
who murdered Father.
536
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:05,160
And?
537
00:36:05,240 --> 00:36:06,920
I found out where he live.
538
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,680
I snuck inside his house
and tried to kill him.
539
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,760
It's my duty to find
Father's killer.
540
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,520
No, it is mine! I'm the one
who promised Father.
541
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:15,920
But I'm his only son.
542
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,520
When you abandoned us
for America,
543
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,080
Father said he had no son.
544
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:21,600
What?
545
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,400
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Time out.
546
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:27,320
Time out, time out.
Come here.
547
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:28,960
The detective's a fan.
548
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:30,640
Why don't I play
the celebrity card,
549
00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:32,520
and we'll get her out
that way?
550
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:33,600
Okay?
551
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:34,680
Come on.
552
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,320
Don't worry.
I'll get you out.
553
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,240
Everything's
gonna be okay.
554
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,160
In fact, I'm gonna give you
my good-luck playing cards.
555
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,960
Just ignore
the naked ladies.
556
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,160
Wang!
557
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,000
Have you opened
Father's box?
558
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:01,760
Not yet.
559
00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:11,840
She tried to assassinate
Lord Rathbone
560
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,080
whilst he was taking
afternoon tea.
561
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:18,240
He's 10th in line
to the throne,
Her Majesty's favorite cousin,
562
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,480
and the finest swordsman
in England.
563
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,680
So, of course,
the press had a field day.
564
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,880
The story actually
knocked Jack the Ripper
off the front page.
565
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:30,880
Artie, Lin is not a killer.
566
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,200
She's just a really,
really, really
567
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:35,560
hot, confused Chinese girl.
568
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:38,800
Maybe if I agree to sign
a few autographs
569
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,520
and talk to some of my fans
here in England,
570
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,600
do some type of charity event,
can we get her out that way?
571
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,600
I'm afraid
that's out of the question.
572
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,160
What will happen
to my sister?
573
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,640
She'll go to trial,
probably be locked away
574
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:53,880
in an institution
for the criminally insane.
575
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,400
The tabloids have already
dubbed her "Loony Lin."
576
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,600
I thought it was
rather catchy.
577
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:01,840
At the time.
578
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,760
Do you have any notion
what would happen if
we were to be seen together?
579
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:24,200
Since your return,
580
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,640
I have yet to lay eyes
on the Imperial Seal.
581
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:30,240
I'm hosting a jubilee ball
at my country estate
tomorrow.
582
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:31,760
Be at the stables
at midnight.
583
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,400
As requested,
a token of my esteem.
584
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,320
This is where you get out.
585
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,280
I hope there will be
more trust between us
586
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,160
when I'm emperor
and you are the new king.
587
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:06,040
Wow! Buckingham Palace.
Look at that, Chon.
588
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:07,880
That's where the queen lives.
589
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:11,320
Hey, look at this guy.
590
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:14,200
He's a royal guard.
He has a very important job.
591
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:15,840
I used to be just like him.
592
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,320
No, no,
they're nothing like you.
593
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:18,880
They're more of
a tourist attraction.
594
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:20,960
You can make
faces at them,
insult them,
595
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:22,280
and they can't
move a muscle.
596
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:23,800
Here, watch this.
Roy...
597
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:25,480
No, no, it's okay.
598
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,440
Hey, buddy,
your shoes are untied.
599
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:34,200
That is the biggest damn
beaver I have ever seen.
600
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:36,680
Roy, stop it.
601
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:37,880
The queen!
602
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,160
Look, the queen!
She's mooning us!
603
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,200
He almost went for that.
604
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,440
My friend and I
just came over from America.
605
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:48,720
You might have heard of it.
We run your
jerkwater country.
606
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,480
Come on. You're gonna
take that from a colonial?
607
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:52,920
Roy, stop it.
608
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,720
I bet you're one hell
of a damn poker player.
609
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,040
No hard feelings.
610
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:58,480
Huh?
611
00:39:58,560 --> 00:39:59,640
Aah!
612
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:03,480
They can't do that!
613
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:04,880
They're not
allowed to do that!
614
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,200
Shouldn't have touched him.
615
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:08,320
You scram, you little punk.
616
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,040
I've got friends
at Scotland Yard.
617
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:11,480
I'll give you up
in a heartbeat.
618
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:12,800
You get your watch back?
619
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,280
Don't worry about my watch.
Go on.
620
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:16,720
It's a knockoff,
you know.
621
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,360
What are you talking about?
A knockoff?
622
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,880
My uncle stole this watch
from President Lincoln.
623
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,920
It's a priceless
family heirloom.
624
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,000
Not according
to the pawnbroker.
625
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:26,480
You should not steal.
626
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:28,800
If I don't steal,
I don't eat.
627
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:29,960
By the way,
628
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,880
who showed you how to do
all that kicking and punching?
629
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:34,720
My father.
630
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:36,720
Have you ever heard of those?
They're parents.
631
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,080
We have parents that love us.
632
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:39,840
You don't 'cause
you're a little orphan.
633
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,280
Go on.
You're making us look bad.
634
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:42,960
You're cramping our style.
635
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,640
Oh, this country blows.
636
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,080
You need a place to stay?
637
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,000
Come on in
and warm your dogs.
638
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,520
You can
get into a lot of trouble
639
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,680
breaking into
a place like this.
640
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,440
That being said,
well done.
641
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,480
You just ate
the last chocolate.
642
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,000
'Course I did.
643
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:13,720
You gotta look out
for number one, kid.
644
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,440
I could really
get used to this,
645
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,120
living the life
of a country gentleman,
646
00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:21,200
maybe doing
a little painting,
647
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,280
let Lin play in the garden
with the children...
648
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,280
Vera, Chuck, and Dave.
649
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:27,760
Who's Lin?
650
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,480
Lin's the most beautiful woman
I've ever met.
651
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,720
She's gonna be the savior
of the House of O'Bannon.
652
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,560
Hey, Chon, check out
the threads.
653
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:40,760
What do you think?
All I'm missing is the loyal
hound curled at my feet.
654
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,040
We're wasting time.
We must find Rathbone.
655
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:44,480
What do you think
I've been doing,
656
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,520
sitting here,
drinking expensive hooch?
657
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:47,600
Boy, refill.
658
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:49,920
I've been working
on a plan.
659
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:54,080
Now... Whoa, whoa, whoa,
don't slosh the brandy.
660
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:55,720
It messes with the bouquet.
661
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:56,800
Sod off.
662
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,760
Listen, I'm trying
to teach you a skill set,
663
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,280
help get you off the street.
664
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:01,520
Bartenders make big bucks.
665
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,120
Roy!
666
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:04,280
The plan.
667
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:06,000
Thank you, Chon.
668
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,800
Now, I figure,
if we find the seal,
669
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,200
we can prove Rathbone
killed your dad.
670
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,040
It's the old Hail Mary play.
671
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:18,560
I also have a version
where we dig a tunnel.
672
00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:21,800
Hey!
673
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:23,880
Bloody catapult.
Jesus Christ!
674
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:25,120
You don't need a catapult.
675
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:26,200
Who asked you?
676
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,320
You don't interrupt
grown-ups when
they're talking.
677
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,360
"Lord Nelson Rathbone requests
the pleasure of your company
678
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:32,760
"at the jubilee ball
679
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:36,120
"in honor of Her Majesty's
50th year on the throne."
680
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:37,840
Sounds good.
681
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,320
Yeah, it doesn't address
the issue of security.
682
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:41,800
They're not gonna let
Chon and I
683
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,160
waltz into the castle.
684
00:42:43,240 --> 00:42:45,760
All you need is
a proper disguise.
685
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:50,000
I do like a good disguise.
686
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:15,960
I look like a fool.
687
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:17,560
What? You're a maharaja.
688
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:18,920
That's Indian royalty.
689
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,040
But I'm Chinese.
690
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:21,440
It's the same thing.
691
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,400
Hey, bob your head
a little bit,
692
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,280
gives you more of
a India-royalty flavor.
693
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:30,160
That's good.
Good show, good show.
694
00:43:30,240 --> 00:43:31,480
Good show, good show.
695
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:33,000
Cheerio, cheerio.
696
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:34,160
Cheerio, cheerio.
697
00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:35,840
Now what do we do
when we see Rathbone?
698
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:36,920
Kill him.
699
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,960
No, okay? No!
700
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:40,280
You're gonna be
civil in there
701
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:41,800
'cause we don't have
the seal yet.
702
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:45,920
No seal, no Lin,
no family honor, okay?
703
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,200
Be cool.
Okay, we look great.
704
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,120
Let's enjoy this party.
705
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:54,920
Whoa, whoa,
what are you doing?
706
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:56,000
I'm going inside.
707
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:57,480
The say the place
is haunted.
708
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,040
No, you're the harness man,
so get back at the carriage,
709
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,400
and wait there if we
need to make a quick getaway.
710
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:03,840
Go on, man your post.
711
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,520
You don't always get
what you want.
712
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,600
Why are you so mean
to that boy?
713
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,440
I see a lot of myself
in that kid.
714
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,120
It's kind of
freaking me out.
Come on.
715
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:24,800
Your name, please, sir.
716
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,960
So I can announce you.
717
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,840
Sherlock... Holmes.
718
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:43,800
Sherlock Holmes.
719
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,480
And which province
do you represent,
Your Highness?
720
00:44:52,240 --> 00:44:53,440
Nevada.
721
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,840
May I present Major General
Sherlock Holmes
722
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:21,280
and His Highness
the Maharaja of Nevada?
723
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:38,120
How are the security
arrangements this evening,
Inspector?
724
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:41,320
Oh, everything seems to be
going swimmingly, my Lord.
725
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:42,800
And if I may say so,
726
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:45,200
it is an honor to guard
your lordship tonight.
727
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,680
I think I speak for all of us
at Scotland Yard
728
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:50,880
when I say that no matter how
far you are from the throne,
729
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:53,360
you'll always be number one
in our hearts.
730
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:01,360
Okay, here's the plan.
731
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:02,800
We're gonna get
a little chow,
732
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:04,800
then we're gonna
sneak out of here,
733
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:06,960
and start looking
for that seal.
Okay.
734
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:08,280
Spotted dick, sir?
735
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:09,480
What?
736
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:10,960
Spotted dick.
737
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,200
Can you believe this guy?
I'm trying to get
something to eat,
738
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:18,000
he's asking me
if I got the clap.
739
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:20,480
I think
he's offering you food.
740
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,960
Oh... Spotted dick.
741
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:25,560
Oh, no, I think I'll pass.
742
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:27,120
I'm not really
a dessert man.
743
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,600
Perhaps my friend might like
some spotted dick.
744
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,120
I might try one of
these sausages, though.
745
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:35,960
A little smoky Joe.
746
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,000
Mmm, this is good!
747
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,040
I thought the food here
was supposed to suck.
748
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,400
The haggis is fresh
from Scotland, sir.
749
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,120
It's made from
the finest sheep's' bladders.
750
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,400
I'm gonna get some whiskey
and wash my mouth out.
751
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:02,400
You should try the quail.
752
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:06,960
I shot them myself
this morning.
753
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,080
How do you do,
Your Lordship?
754
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,000
Very well, thank you.
755
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,000
I'm not acquainted
with the Nevada province.
756
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,000
But I haven't been to India
since '81.
757
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:24,400
I spent most of my time
in the Orient.
758
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:27,080
I hear you've just returned
from China.
759
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:29,720
You are well-informed,
Maharaja.
760
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:32,640
It is my dream
that the Chinese people
761
00:47:32,720 --> 00:47:36,000
will follow India's example
and one day
embrace British rule.
762
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:37,840
The Chinese are very proud.
763
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:41,200
They place family and honor
above all else.
764
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:44,240
Well, I'm sure
we can break them of that.
765
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,240
If you'll excuse me,
I have a matter to attend to.
766
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,560
Until we meet again.
767
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:01,920
Patience, patience,
I'm proud of you, Chon.
768
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,480
We must find the seal.
769
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,160
What do you see?
770
00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:09,840
Shh, shh, shh!
771
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:17,200
He just pulled
a fancy dragon key
out of his desk.
772
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:18,600
That was my father's!
773
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:20,440
I must avenge his honor.
774
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:22,760
Hey, slow down, tiger.
Slow down.
775
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,080
Quit going all Chinese on me.
776
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:27,960
Chon, Chon, Chon...
777
00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:30,280
Where is he?
778
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:33,040
Damn it, Chon, remember
your puzzle box, patience.
779
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:34,320
Patience.
780
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:36,720
There are no windows.
781
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,800
And we just came in
through the only doorway.
782
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:40,280
That leaves one explanation.
783
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:42,200
Remember in Roy O'Bannonvs. the Mummy
784
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:43,560
how the zombie king got away
785
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:45,480
when I chased him into
the pharaoh's tomb?
786
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:48,040
There's a secret passageway
behind the sphinx.
787
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:51,800
Now, there's gotta be
a lever or a button over here.
788
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:53,040
Help me lift some stuff up.
789
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:54,640
We're gonna...
790
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:11,440
Roy! The painting!
It's looking at me. Look!
791
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:14,920
Oh, yeah, yeah. Looks like
it's looking at me, too.
That's great. That's...
792
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:16,840
No, real eyes...
moving!
793
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,360
No, Chon, that kid
got to you, didn't he?
794
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:21,600
Unbelievable! We're not
in a haunted house.
795
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:23,760
That's a technique
that an artist uses.
796
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:26,720
"Ubiquitous gaze"
or "pursuant eyes"
is the technical term.
797
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,800
It's unnerving though,
I'll give you that.
798
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:35,320
Roy...
799
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:37,440
Now, those eyes... look!
800
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:39,840
Whatever you say, Chon.
801
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:47,240
Let's see what you got here,
Rathbone.
802
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:51,840
Huh?
803
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:53,920
Roy!
804
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:59,080
What, Chon?
Are the statues moving now?
805
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:07,920
Wow.
806
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:27,920
Oh!
807
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:36,280
Mm-mmm!
808
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:38,160
Roy!
809
00:50:38,240 --> 00:50:39,240
What?
810
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:40,960
Damn it, I can't even
hear myself think
811
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,080
with you shouting at me, Chon.
812
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:45,240
Chon?
813
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:48,280
Chon?
814
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:50,200
Chon?
815
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:53,120
This is ridiculous.
816
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,680
Chon, if you wanna
act like a child
and play little games,
817
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:57,120
then find someone else, okay,
818
00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:58,680
'cause I take
this stuff seriously.
819
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:01,040
I'm here to work.
I'm on a mission.
820
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:04,600
Chon?
821
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:07,560
Okay, Chon.
822
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,000
Okay, you little
Chinese otter.
823
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:12,000
Let's play.
824
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:15,320
Hah!
825
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:28,800
Aah! Aah! Chon, demons!
826
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,840
Aah! Aah! Aaah!
827
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,080
Aah! Hyah! Hah!
828
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:34,520
Aah! Aah!
829
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:36,240
Hyah! Aah!
830
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,360
Hah! Hah!
831
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:50,360
She's gonna fight
my battles for me.
832
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:52,320
Come on.
833
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:53,400
Let's go.
834
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:56,800
What? What are you doing?
835
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:58,840
That's kinky.
I like it.
836
00:51:58,920 --> 00:51:59,920
Unh!
837
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,320
Aah! Aah!
838
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:02,960
Aah! Aah! Aah!
839
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:04,080
Unh!
840
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:05,880
Unh! Unh!
841
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:09,280
Wow! Look at this.
842
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:28,560
Ooh!
843
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:39,040
Unh!
844
00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:40,120
Unh!
845
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:45,200
Aah!
846
00:53:18,720 --> 00:53:21,160
Wait, there's something
different about this room.
847
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:32,640
Huh? Oh!
848
00:53:32,720 --> 00:53:33,720
Ooh!
849
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:35,560
Hey.
850
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:37,200
Aah! Aah!
851
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:45,600
Aah!
852
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:47,760
Don't drop it!
853
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:05,680
Let's go!
854
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:08,760
- Wang!
- Chon, for God's sakes.
855
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:10,640
Lin.
Now he shows up.
856
00:54:10,720 --> 00:54:11,760
I found it.
857
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:13,600
Wait, Chon.
Do you want to hear?
858
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:15,800
The seal's gone.
859
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:51,240
Lin.
860
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:53,880
Roy!
861
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,160
Are we gonna come back?
862
00:54:57,240 --> 00:54:58,240
Roy!
863
00:55:08,720 --> 00:55:10,720
Must you keep doing that?
864
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,960
I was taught
not to be seen or heard.
865
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:16,600
The seal.
866
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:18,400
I am a man of my word.
867
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,920
I remember watching
my brother play with this
868
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:26,320
like a baby rattle.
869
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:30,120
When I'd try to touch it,
870
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,400
the dowager empress beat me.
871
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:35,800
No doubt
your deprived childhood
872
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:38,080
made you into the man
you are today.
873
00:55:39,240 --> 00:55:40,320
Wu Chow.
874
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:41,600
Wu who?
875
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,440
He's the emperor's
bastard brother.
876
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,800
He was banished
from the Forbidden City
877
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:48,720
for trying to steal
the Imperial Seal.
878
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:50,240
Our father caught him.
879
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:52,840
He vowed to return to claim
the emperor's throne.
880
00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:55,560
This guy?
881
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,520
I'll assume
everything has been
arranged as discussed.
882
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:00,120
You have nothing
to worry about.
883
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:01,480
It's all in place.
884
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:04,720
That diamond is as big
as a damn monkey's paw.
885
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:06,640
Roy...
886
00:56:06,720 --> 00:56:08,560
Don't even think about it.
887
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,880
I'm just admiring
the craftsmanship, Chon.
888
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:12,080
So for now,
889
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:14,280
our business is completed.
890
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:23,160
Where's Lin?
891
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:32,960
Aah!
892
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:37,400
Aah! Aah! Oh!
893
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:38,800
Hey! Hey!
894
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:42,880
Aah! Aah!
895
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,040
Aah! Gotcha!
896
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:45,400
Oh! Unh!
897
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:48,640
Just looking out
for number one.
898
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:50,240
No!
899
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:52,200
The kid got the seal!
900
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:56,760
Unh! Unh!
901
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:10,240
Chon!
902
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:14,480
Aah! aah!
903
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:20,840
It's stuck.
904
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:31,360
Lin!
905
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:36,360
Hurry!
906
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:45,560
Go! You can do it!
907
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:47,280
She's got it.
908
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:48,680
She's got it.
909
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:49,960
She's got it!
910
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:51,760
Roy!
911
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:52,880
Come on!
912
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,120
Chon, what in our
history together
913
00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:57,520
makes you think I'm capable
of something like that?
914
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,120
Roy!
I can't do that!
915
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:00,240
Hurry up!
916
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:02,000
Wait...
917
00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:04,000
There's a better way.
918
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:06,120
Yee-haw!
919
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:07,320
Yee-haw!
920
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,840
♪ Every day I getin the queue
921
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:11,920
♪ Too much, magic bus
922
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:14,480
♪ To get on the busthat takes me to you
923
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:15,760
Slow down!
924
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:17,280
I'm a bat out of hell!
925
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:18,560
Yee-haw!
926
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:20,840
Besides, I don't know
where the brake is.
927
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:21,920
What?
928
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:26,960
Look out!
Aah!
929
00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:33,480
♪ Too much, magic bus
930
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:35,920
♪ Too much, magic bus
931
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:38,640
♪ Magic bus
932
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:44,800
♪ Now I've got my magic bus
933
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:49,680
♪ Now I've got my magic bus
934
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:50,880
So, what now, buddy?
935
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:53,880
Relax, relax.
Smooth sailing from here.
936
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:57,000
♪ Too much, magic bus ♪
937
00:58:57,840 --> 00:58:58,880
Aaah!
938
00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:06,000
Yes, these are the men
who attacked me.
939
00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:08,200
I'm afraid the assailants
940
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:10,840
have temporarily eluded us,
my Lord.
941
00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:12,520
Perhaps you could explain
to me
942
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:15,680
how Loony Lin
managed to escape
943
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:18,480
from the confines
of Scotland Yard
under the watch
944
00:59:18,560 --> 00:59:22,840
of the most respected
police force in the world.
945
00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:26,160
Yes, of course,
it's absolutely fascinating.
946
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:28,360
Um, she picked the lock
947
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:31,840
using a deck of rather
risque playing cards.
948
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:36,360
Then scaled the walls
with a mop, a fork,
949
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:38,720
and various pilfered
undergarments.
950
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:40,520
You've gotta hand it
to the Chinese,
951
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:43,120
they are awfully ingenious,
Lord, aren't they?
952
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:46,840
Does your incompetence
know no bounds?
953
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:03,360
♪ It's the timeof the season
954
01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:07,320
♪ When the love runs high
955
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:11,600
♪ In this time,give it to me easy
956
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:16,160
♪ And let me trywith pleasured hands
957
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:17,440
Where am I?
958
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:20,400
Lin!
959
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:23,920
I don't even know
these women.
960
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,160
♪ It's the timeof the season
961
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:29,000
Lin, what are you
doing here?
962
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:30,800
♪ For loving
963
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:32,160
Oh, Lord.
964
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:35,360
You want to try
the position on page 37?
965
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:42,800
Come here,
you little minx.
966
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:46,720
What?
967
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:53,120
♪ It's the timeof the season
968
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:54,480
♪ For loving ♪
969
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:56,120
Aaah!
970
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:57,840
Oh!
971
01:00:58,280 --> 01:00:59,280
Oh!
972
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:00,360
You okay?
973
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:01,560
No, I'm not okay.
974
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:03,680
I've just been violated
by a barnyard animal.
975
01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:06,560
Unh!
976
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:11,840
Who would leave
a pile of stones
in the middle of the field?
977
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:14,560
I don't know, Chon.
These people are nuts.
978
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:17,600
Come on.
979
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:22,840
Can I tell you something?
980
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:24,040
What?
981
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:27,640
This is a hell
of a damn adventure we're on,
982
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:29,720
and I'm having
an absolute ball with you.
983
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:33,720
Me too.
984
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:40,640
Here we go, here we go.
985
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:42,560
Get your thumb out,
Maharaja.
986
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:44,160
Get over here.
987
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:46,400
Excuse me!
988
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:49,760
Lin!
Lin!
989
01:01:57,920 --> 01:01:59,520
My shoulder's getting
a little tight.
990
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:00,680
Aah!
991
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:04,080
This is your first time
in England, isn't it?
992
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:08,520
How do you know
your way around?
It's incredible.
993
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,400
I always had a good sense
of direction.
994
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:12,600
Oh, you can say that again.
995
01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:15,720
I wish we could say the same
about you-know-who.
996
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:17,560
I once sent him over
a mountain range.
997
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:19,000
He was lost forever.
998
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:23,120
One time, I sent him
over the Great Wall.
999
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:24,600
He was lost for three days.
1000
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:26,480
Three days? Nunh-unh.
1001
01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:30,960
Oh, gosh, we got a lot
in common.
1002
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:33,520
I've never met
anybody like you, Roy.
1003
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:34,640
Really?
1004
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:35,840
Yeah.
1005
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:40,160
Hey can I tell you
something without you
getting offended?
1006
01:02:40,240 --> 01:02:41,360
What?
1007
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:44,760
You have a great body.
1008
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:47,560
There! I said it!
It's out in the open.
1009
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:51,400
You must work out.
1010
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:54,160
Me?
Excuse me.
1011
01:02:55,040 --> 01:02:56,400
I...
1012
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:58,120
Chon, what are you doing?
1013
01:02:58,520 --> 01:02:59,680
I don't like the backseat.
1014
01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:01,040
What?
1015
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:04,120
Makes me sick... dizzy.
1016
01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:12,360
Whitechapel...
1017
01:03:13,400 --> 01:03:15,520
This looks like a nice enough
neighborhood.
1018
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:21,360
What is Puss 'N' Boots?
It's a boardinghouse.
1019
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:24,720
Some of the sailors
on the ship coming over
recommended it.
1020
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:31,040
Come on. Come on!
1021
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:41,680
I won't let my sister
stay here.
1022
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:43,840
What are we supposed to do?
Check in to the Savoy?
1023
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:45,840
We'll get arrested
before we get to our room.
1024
01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:47,480
I don't mind this place.
1025
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:54,000
See? A little open-minded.
1026
01:03:56,160 --> 01:03:58,840
I know it sounds crazy
'cause I just met her,
1027
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:00,800
but I think
I'm falling for her.
1028
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:02,040
I think she's the one.
1029
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:03,880
Roy, she's my baby sister.
1030
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:06,000
I know she is.
Thank God!
1031
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:07,440
That's the only chance
I've got.
1032
01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:09,520
Look, I'm getting ready
to launch a little thing
1033
01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:11,400
called, "Operation
Sweep Her Off Her Feet."
1034
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:13,600
You're in a position
to talk me up.
1035
01:04:13,680 --> 01:04:14,880
Can I count on you?
1036
01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:17,160
Please, buddy, I've never
asked you for anything.
1037
01:04:17,240 --> 01:04:19,480
Sure, Roy, I'll tell her
the truth.
1038
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:20,960
Don't get hung up
on the truth.
1039
01:04:21,040 --> 01:04:24,240
Feel free to smooth out
your old pal's rough edges.
1040
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,480
I love you, buddy.
1041
01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:33,880
Lin... come.
1042
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:40,120
Sit.
1043
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:07,520
Hello, love.
1044
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:08,720
Fancy a tumble?
1045
01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:10,040
Oh!
1046
01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:12,000
Where were you two days ago?
1047
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:14,240
I would have bedded you
in a second.
1048
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:16,680
Now you're looking
at a changed man.
1049
01:05:16,760 --> 01:05:19,000
I'm sort of saving myself
for someone special.
1050
01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:20,920
I'll give you a discount.
1051
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:25,040
That's the most romantic thing
any woman's ever said to me.
1052
01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:28,560
Oh! You better go.
1053
01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:30,920
You better go
before we lose control. Go!
1054
01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:33,200
If you change your mind...
1055
01:05:33,320 --> 01:05:34,400
Roy!
1056
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:42,720
Lin...
1057
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:46,160
Our father would talk about
the right man for you.
1058
01:05:46,240 --> 01:05:47,440
He must be strong...
1059
01:05:47,520 --> 01:05:48,520
Right...
1060
01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:51,040
...courageous,
and a good father.
1061
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:53,040
Like Roy.
1062
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:54,200
We got her, Chon.
1063
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:55,800
Not like Roy.
1064
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:57,920
You don't know him like I do.
1065
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:00,240
He has many bad habits.
1066
01:06:00,960 --> 01:06:02,080
Such as?
1067
01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:06,040
He drinks, smokes
and he gambles.
1068
01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:07,600
Chon, where are you
going with this?
1069
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:09,600
He sleeps with women
for money.
1070
01:06:09,680 --> 01:06:10,920
What are you...
1071
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,480
Roy don't do that.
1072
01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:13,840
I can see inside him.
1073
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:16,400
He has a good heart.
1074
01:06:16,480 --> 01:06:17,560
That's right.
1075
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,600
His salmon
don't swim upstream.
1076
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:21,280
Huh?
1077
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:22,480
He shoots blanks.
1078
01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:23,840
Aah! Aah!
1079
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:26,280
Lin, he cannot be trusted.
1080
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:28,320
How could you say that?
1081
01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:29,840
You're his friend.
1082
01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:32,440
Yeah, sort of.
1083
01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:34,080
Roy is the type of a friend
1084
01:06:34,160 --> 01:06:36,320
you never introduce
to your other friends
1085
01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:38,080
or bring home
to your family.
1086
01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:39,600
He never speak the truth.
1087
01:06:39,720 --> 01:06:40,920
You know what I call him?
1088
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:43,840
Not Roy O'Bannon,
Roy O'Baloney.
1089
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:46,920
I don't care.
1090
01:06:47,280 --> 01:06:49,080
Lin, I forbid it.
1091
01:06:50,760 --> 01:06:52,640
You are not my father.
1092
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:04,680
Roy, there you are.
1093
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:06,960
Hi.
1094
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:08,280
Mm-hmm.
1095
01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:11,080
You need anything, buddy?
1096
01:07:11,840 --> 01:07:14,040
A whole lot of
leave-me-alone.
1097
01:07:16,920 --> 01:07:18,080
What's wrong?
1098
01:07:20,720 --> 01:07:22,160
Nothing.
I guess I just woke up
1099
01:07:22,240 --> 01:07:23,320
on wrong side of the bed.
1100
01:07:23,400 --> 01:07:26,560
I feel a little pain
in my back like someone
put a knife there.
1101
01:07:26,640 --> 01:07:27,920
I'm okay.
1102
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:30,200
Don't worry about me.
1103
01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:34,480
♪ Yes, it'sthe saddest experience
1104
01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:36,880
♪ You'll ever know
1105
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:39,680
♪ Because one isthe loneliest number ♪
1106
01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:40,840
Roy!
1107
01:07:46,160 --> 01:07:47,440
Ta-da!
1108
01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:49,720
That actually reminds me
of a trick.
1109
01:07:49,800 --> 01:07:51,800
You ever seen this one?
Ooh!
1110
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:53,000
Or this one? Aah!
1111
01:07:53,080 --> 01:07:54,080
Ooh!
1112
01:07:54,160 --> 01:07:55,480
You think you're so cool
1113
01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:59,280
with your karate
and your childlike reflexes.
1114
01:07:59,360 --> 01:08:00,640
Aaaah!
1115
01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:01,880
Oh!
1116
01:08:01,960 --> 01:08:03,520
Roy, you okay?
1117
01:08:04,640 --> 01:08:06,000
Look at you.
1118
01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:08,960
Do you really call me
"Roy Baloney"?
1119
01:08:12,640 --> 01:08:13,840
Roy, you don't understand.
1120
01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:16,160
You just smashed
my puzzle box.
1121
01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:19,880
I'll never figure out
my message.
1122
01:08:19,960 --> 01:08:20,960
Roy...
1123
01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:22,320
Go.
1124
01:08:23,920 --> 01:08:25,600
You're dead to me.
1125
01:08:26,080 --> 01:08:28,120
I don't know a Chon Wang.
1126
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:43,120
What...
1127
01:08:43,200 --> 01:08:45,080
Hi, Roy.
1128
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:48,240
Who loves you, baby?
1129
01:08:48,320 --> 01:08:49,400
Nice try, Chon.
1130
01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:50,720
Roy...
1131
01:08:51,200 --> 01:08:52,560
I'm sorry.
1132
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:00,800
You do that again
and you're a dead man.
1133
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:13,000
Pillow fight!
1134
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:15,640
♪ Every evening, when allmy day's work is through
1135
01:09:15,720 --> 01:09:18,080
♪ I call my baby and ask her,"What shall we do?"
1136
01:09:18,160 --> 01:09:20,520
♪ I mention movies,and she don't seem to dig that
1137
01:09:20,600 --> 01:09:23,200
♪ And then she asks me,why don't I come to the flat
1138
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:25,840
♪ And have some supperand have the evening pass by
1139
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,160
♪ By playing recordsbeside the groovy hi-fi?
1140
01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:29,880
♪ I said yeh, yeh
1141
01:09:29,960 --> 01:09:31,120
♪ That's what I say
1142
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:32,920
♪ I said yeh, yeh
1143
01:09:33,440 --> 01:09:36,280
♪ My baby loves me,she gets me feeling so fine
1144
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:38,960
♪ When she loves me, she makesme know that she's mine
1145
01:09:39,040 --> 01:09:40,440
♪ I said yeh, yeh
1146
01:09:40,520 --> 01:09:42,080
I am Roy Baloney!
1147
01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:43,320
Yes!
1148
01:09:43,400 --> 01:09:45,440
I'm full of it!
You are!
1149
01:09:45,520 --> 01:09:48,720
♪ We'll play a melody andturn the lights down low
1150
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:49,960
♪ So that none can see
1151
01:09:50,080 --> 01:09:52,440
♪ We gotta do that,we gotta do that
1152
01:09:52,520 --> 01:09:55,200
♪ We gotta do that,we gotta do that
1153
01:09:55,280 --> 01:09:58,960
♪ And there'll be no one elsealive in all the world
1154
01:09:59,040 --> 01:10:00,320
♪ 'Cept you and me
1155
01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:02,720
♪ Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh
1156
01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:04,760
♪ Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh
1157
01:10:04,840 --> 01:10:07,240
♪ My pretty baby,I never knew such a thrill
1158
01:10:07,320 --> 01:10:09,920
♪ It's hard to tell you,because I'm tremblin' still
1159
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:13,240
♪ My pretty baby,I want you all for my own ♪
1160
01:10:13,320 --> 01:10:14,400
Roy?
1161
01:10:20,640 --> 01:10:21,640
Lin!
1162
01:10:26,240 --> 01:10:27,920
It was his idea.
1163
01:10:29,360 --> 01:10:30,720
Chon!
Clothes!
1164
01:11:03,440 --> 01:11:05,000
Nice night for a walk.
1165
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:07,960
Aah!
1166
01:11:11,240 --> 01:11:13,040
%?!*# -ING LOSER!
1167
01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:14,760
Lin!
1168
01:11:14,840 --> 01:11:16,280
Lin!
There you are!
1169
01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:17,400
What are you doing?
1170
01:11:17,480 --> 01:11:20,080
Don't you know there's a
serial killer on the loose?
1171
01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:22,040
Forget it.
1172
01:11:30,040 --> 01:11:31,720
Who the hell
are these guys?
1173
01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:32,800
Boxers.
1174
01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:34,280
What do they want with us?
1175
01:11:34,360 --> 01:11:36,400
They're with me.
1176
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:41,840
I think we need to have
a little chat.
1177
01:11:51,920 --> 01:11:53,360
Chon Wang,
1178
01:11:54,280 --> 01:11:57,080
the man who can fight
an emperor.
1179
01:11:57,160 --> 01:11:59,600
The emperor should
never have spared your life.
1180
01:12:00,320 --> 01:12:01,560
I see.
1181
01:12:02,160 --> 01:12:03,840
You're still
my brother's lapdog.
1182
01:12:03,920 --> 01:12:05,920
I'm here not for him.
1183
01:12:06,840 --> 01:12:08,600
I'm here for my father.
1184
01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:10,360
Of course you are.
1185
01:12:13,840 --> 01:12:17,240
It was my dagger
that plunged into his heart.
1186
01:12:17,640 --> 01:12:19,280
It's still crusted
with his blood.
1187
01:12:19,360 --> 01:12:20,360
Unh!
1188
01:12:24,200 --> 01:12:26,600
I know the boy has the seal.
1189
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:27,760
Where is he?
1190
01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:29,280
We don't know.
1191
01:12:29,360 --> 01:12:30,920
That's the truth.
We don't know.
1192
01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:32,320
Mmm...
1193
01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:36,320
What are you...
What are you doing?
1194
01:12:36,680 --> 01:12:37,760
Unh!
1195
01:12:40,360 --> 01:12:41,760
Stop! Put her down!
1196
01:12:41,840 --> 01:12:42,880
Unh!
1197
01:12:42,960 --> 01:12:44,400
Put her down! Put her down!
1198
01:12:44,480 --> 01:12:46,320
Or what, Mr. O'Bannon?
1199
01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:48,440
Are you gonna kick my ass?
1200
01:12:49,080 --> 01:12:52,040
I've read all about
your ridiculous exploits.
1201
01:12:52,120 --> 01:12:53,520
I mean, just...
1202
01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:57,880
How does it feel to kill
a mummy with your bare hands?
1203
01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:00,320
Only a nation
of uneducated rednecks
1204
01:13:00,400 --> 01:13:02,840
would be amused
by such cowboy drivel.
1205
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:04,880
Whoa, whoa, easy.
1206
01:13:04,960 --> 01:13:07,480
What's with
the personal attacks?
1207
01:13:07,560 --> 01:13:09,120
You don't see me
making any comments
1208
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:11,080
about your pasty complexion
1209
01:13:11,200 --> 01:13:13,040
or your snotty accent
1210
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:15,680
or even your filthy,
smutty sex books.
1211
01:13:15,760 --> 01:13:17,720
Yeah, I saw your book.
It disgusted me.
1212
01:13:17,800 --> 01:13:19,880
Aah! Aaah!
1213
01:13:20,280 --> 01:13:22,720
Oh, why is it always
the head with you people?
1214
01:13:24,440 --> 01:13:27,160
Unh!
Hold it! Stop! Hold it!
1215
01:13:27,240 --> 01:13:28,320
Just hold it!
1216
01:13:28,400 --> 01:13:31,160
What are we doing here?
Guys, look at this.
1217
01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:33,880
We're acting like animals
over what?
1218
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:35,400
Some seal?
1219
01:13:35,760 --> 01:13:37,880
The seal represents
imperial power.
1220
01:13:38,840 --> 01:13:41,440
I will use it to unite
the emperor's enemies
1221
01:13:41,560 --> 01:13:44,480
and storm the Forbidden City.
1222
01:13:44,560 --> 01:13:45,960
What's in it for you?
1223
01:13:46,040 --> 01:13:48,320
You're looking
at the future king of England.
1224
01:13:48,440 --> 01:13:50,240
You're like the 20th in line
to the throne.
1225
01:13:50,360 --> 01:13:51,680
10th...
1226
01:13:51,760 --> 01:13:53,840
But my friend
is about to change all that
1227
01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:57,280
by a simple process
of elimination.
1228
01:14:01,720 --> 01:14:03,480
It's called a machine gun.
1229
01:14:03,560 --> 01:14:06,880
The first of its kind.
It fires 200 rounds a minute.
1230
01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:09,280
Testament
to British ingenuity.
1231
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:12,240
Oh, so you steal the seal,
1232
01:14:12,320 --> 01:14:14,320
and then you knock off
nine royals?
1233
01:14:16,160 --> 01:14:18,640
You got the short end
of that stick, my friend.
1234
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:22,480
Unh! Unh!
1235
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:24,200
Dump them in the river.
1236
01:14:25,240 --> 01:14:26,280
Unh!
1237
01:14:26,400 --> 01:14:27,480
Where are you taking her?
1238
01:14:27,560 --> 01:14:29,160
To make history.
1239
01:14:29,560 --> 01:14:31,760
I can already see
the headlines,
1240
01:14:31,840 --> 01:14:35,920
"Nation mourns as Loony Lin
massacres royal family."
1241
01:14:39,480 --> 01:14:40,880
Unh! Unh!
1242
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:43,440
Unh! Unh!
1243
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:54,240
I need your assurance
that you will find the seal.
1244
01:14:54,320 --> 01:14:56,040
Don't concern yourself.
1245
01:14:56,120 --> 01:14:58,080
My men are scouring the city.
1246
01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,520
You better pray
they find it...
1247
01:15:01,640 --> 01:15:03,240
or our agreement is over,
1248
01:15:03,320 --> 01:15:07,560
and you will never
get the crown.
1249
01:15:14,520 --> 01:15:16,600
Chon, I got a confession
to make.
1250
01:15:17,640 --> 01:15:19,600
You're in love
with my sister.
1251
01:15:19,680 --> 01:15:21,480
Well, that, but...
1252
01:15:21,560 --> 01:15:24,440
I didn't lose all the money
on the zeppelins.
1253
01:15:24,520 --> 01:15:25,560
No?
1254
01:15:26,080 --> 01:15:29,840
No, I blew most of it
on the Roy O'Bannon novels.
1255
01:15:30,360 --> 01:15:31,840
I wrote them.
1256
01:15:31,920 --> 01:15:33,560
No, Sage McCallister
wrote them.
1257
01:15:33,640 --> 01:15:35,000
That's what
I'm saying buddy.
1258
01:15:35,080 --> 01:15:36,560
I'm Sage McCallister.
1259
01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:43,040
You wrote those lies?
1260
01:15:43,120 --> 01:15:45,000
I've always had
low self-esteem.
1261
01:15:45,080 --> 01:15:46,560
How many books
did you print?
1262
01:15:46,640 --> 01:15:48,720
I self-published
probably a million copies.
1263
01:15:49,880 --> 01:15:51,800
We were actually second
to the Bible that year.
1264
01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:53,000
Oh, you...
1265
01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:55,160
I guess I'm just about
the worst friend
1266
01:15:55,280 --> 01:15:57,040
a guy could ask for.
1267
01:15:58,560 --> 01:16:01,600
No, you're a good friend.
1268
01:16:02,240 --> 01:16:03,240
Thank you.
1269
01:16:03,320 --> 01:16:06,480
If you really love Lin,
I won't stand in the way.
1270
01:16:06,840 --> 01:16:07,840
Really?
1271
01:16:07,920 --> 01:16:10,160
But, if you
break her heart,
1272
01:16:10,880 --> 01:16:12,000
I'll break your legs.
1273
01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:13,160
That's fair.
1274
01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:17,880
Well, friends
to the end, Chon...
1275
01:16:18,240 --> 01:16:19,680
and this is the end.
1276
01:16:24,640 --> 01:16:25,800
Chon, you got a plan?
1277
01:16:25,880 --> 01:16:27,360
You have a plan?
1278
01:16:27,440 --> 01:16:28,480
Yes.
1279
01:16:28,560 --> 01:16:30,320
Anything I can do?
No.
1280
01:16:30,400 --> 01:16:33,200
Good. I'll let you do
the heavy lifting, then.
1281
01:16:48,200 --> 01:16:49,880
Chon, hurry!
1282
01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:54,080
Aaah!
1283
01:16:55,600 --> 01:16:56,600
Chon!
1284
01:16:56,680 --> 01:16:57,760
Chon! Chon, hurry!
1285
01:16:57,840 --> 01:16:58,960
Hurry!
1286
01:16:59,040 --> 01:17:00,720
Hurry! Chon, hurry!
1287
01:17:01,320 --> 01:17:02,400
Roy!
1288
01:17:05,800 --> 01:17:07,000
Coming!
1289
01:17:08,800 --> 01:17:09,840
Chon!
1290
01:17:11,680 --> 01:17:12,760
Oh!
1291
01:17:13,680 --> 01:17:17,120
The water's so dirty!
No! No! It's dirty! No!
1292
01:17:38,440 --> 01:17:39,480
Aah!
1293
01:17:43,200 --> 01:17:44,280
Aah!
1294
01:17:45,280 --> 01:17:47,040
Just go ahead
and drown me.
1295
01:17:47,120 --> 01:17:48,440
I don't care anymore.
1296
01:17:49,520 --> 01:17:50,840
Aaah!
1297
01:17:52,240 --> 01:17:53,280
Roy!
1298
01:18:07,480 --> 01:18:08,960
Where have you been?
1299
01:18:09,040 --> 01:18:10,320
I was busy
1300
01:18:15,280 --> 01:18:17,760
Unbelievable!!!
1301
01:18:19,480 --> 01:18:21,000
Patience, Roy
1302
01:18:21,080 --> 01:18:24,400
Tell that to the eel
swimming up my ass!
1303
01:18:52,640 --> 01:18:54,600
You look ridiculous.
1304
01:18:56,280 --> 01:18:57,680
I think we look good.
1305
01:19:00,200 --> 01:19:02,720
I really must protest
this intrusion.
1306
01:19:03,360 --> 01:19:05,120
Every bobby in London
1307
01:19:05,200 --> 01:19:07,240
is out scouring the streets
for you two.
1308
01:19:07,320 --> 01:19:08,760
Have you been drinking?
1309
01:19:09,120 --> 01:19:12,160
I always drink when
my employment's
been terminated.
1310
01:19:12,240 --> 01:19:13,280
They fired you?
1311
01:19:13,360 --> 01:19:15,320
Your Lord Rathbone
saw to that.
1312
01:19:15,400 --> 01:19:16,800
I'm sorry.
1313
01:19:17,520 --> 01:19:19,440
It's of no consequence.
1314
01:19:19,520 --> 01:19:22,520
I never wanted to be
an inspector
in the first place.
1315
01:19:22,600 --> 01:19:24,560
It was my father's idea.
1316
01:19:25,200 --> 01:19:27,120
I always wanted
to be a writer.
1317
01:19:28,280 --> 01:19:29,360
Yeah.
1318
01:19:29,440 --> 01:19:31,200
Artie, we need your help.
1319
01:19:31,280 --> 01:19:32,800
Rathbone has taken Lin.
1320
01:19:32,880 --> 01:19:34,280
He's gonna
kill the royal family
1321
01:19:34,360 --> 01:19:35,880
and he's gonna
assume the throne.
1322
01:19:36,000 --> 01:19:38,480
Do you have any evidence
1323
01:19:38,560 --> 01:19:41,480
to support these
preposterous allegations?
1324
01:19:41,560 --> 01:19:44,000
We have this.
It's the boy's.
1325
01:19:44,600 --> 01:19:47,040
Use your technique.
Tell us where he is.
1326
01:19:49,120 --> 01:19:51,480
Paraffin wax...
most interesting.
1327
01:19:52,240 --> 01:19:54,880
He's at a church.
The little punk's
hiding in a church.
1328
01:19:54,960 --> 01:19:56,480
No, no, no.
1329
01:19:56,560 --> 01:19:58,480
It's not candle wax.
1330
01:19:58,560 --> 01:19:59,680
I have it.
1331
01:20:03,240 --> 01:20:05,200
Don't worry. You'll get it.
What are you doing?
1332
01:20:05,280 --> 01:20:06,520
He's picking the lock.
1333
01:20:06,600 --> 01:20:08,680
Well, hurry up!
Chon, please!
1334
01:20:08,760 --> 01:20:10,760
It's a very
meticulous process.
1335
01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:14,160
Let Artie do his job.
It's almost an art form.
1336
01:20:14,240 --> 01:20:16,160
It takes the precision
of a surgeon.
1337
01:20:16,640 --> 01:20:18,560
You have to be
so precise.
1338
01:20:18,640 --> 01:20:21,160
Maybe if we jam
another one in there.
1339
01:20:25,760 --> 01:20:27,000
That works, too.
1340
01:20:27,440 --> 01:20:29,400
Lacks a certain finesse.
1341
01:20:33,160 --> 01:20:35,000
All right, all right.
Let's split up.
1342
01:20:54,800 --> 01:20:55,880
Ugh.
1343
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:12,000
Aah!
1344
01:21:37,720 --> 01:21:38,880
Ugh.
1345
01:21:38,960 --> 01:21:40,000
Aah!
1346
01:21:41,800 --> 01:21:42,880
What the...
1347
01:21:47,360 --> 01:21:49,000
I am gonna
break your neck.
1348
01:21:49,080 --> 01:21:50,080
Come here.
1349
01:21:55,600 --> 01:21:56,720
Aah!
1350
01:21:56,800 --> 01:21:57,880
Aah!
1351
01:22:19,800 --> 01:22:21,440
Ah-choo!
1352
01:22:31,160 --> 01:22:32,200
Looky, here.
1353
01:22:32,280 --> 01:22:34,360
Come on, where is it?
What?
1354
01:22:34,440 --> 01:22:36,040
You know what
I'm talking about.
1355
01:22:36,120 --> 01:22:37,600
Don't give me
that "what."
1356
01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:39,280
What do we got here?
1357
01:22:39,360 --> 01:22:41,000
Oh, yes.
1358
01:22:42,480 --> 01:22:44,480
You don't mind
if I take this back, do you?
1359
01:22:44,840 --> 01:22:46,240
Go on,
get out of here.
1360
01:22:46,320 --> 01:22:47,720
Go!
1361
01:22:47,800 --> 01:22:48,880
Roy?
1362
01:22:48,960 --> 01:22:50,040
I got it.
1363
01:22:52,720 --> 01:22:54,120
Give me the seal.
1364
01:22:55,440 --> 01:22:57,320
Give me the seal!
1365
01:23:10,640 --> 01:23:12,480
All right, spread out!
1366
01:23:12,560 --> 01:23:14,080
Through there!
1367
01:23:14,960 --> 01:23:16,160
Let's go.
1368
01:23:25,920 --> 01:23:27,360
The gig's up.
1369
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:38,720
So what are we gonna do?
1370
01:23:41,760 --> 01:23:43,160
Come on, think!
1371
01:23:43,240 --> 01:23:45,280
I'm not going to
an English prison.
1372
01:23:45,360 --> 01:23:48,360
With my feathery blond hair
and Chon's athletic build,
1373
01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:50,280
they'll try to make us
the belle of the ball.
1374
01:23:50,360 --> 01:23:52,200
Forget it.
I'm not going back.
1375
01:23:53,240 --> 01:23:54,280
Well,
1376
01:23:54,360 --> 01:23:56,800
at least we'll get
a good view of the fireworks
1377
01:23:56,880 --> 01:23:58,080
from Scotland Yard.
1378
01:23:58,520 --> 01:23:59,600
Fireworks?
1379
01:23:59,720 --> 01:24:02,640
Yeah. At midnight,
they're launching
this huge display
1380
01:24:02,720 --> 01:24:04,640
from a flotilla
of barges on the Thames.
1381
01:24:04,720 --> 01:24:07,320
It's the official kickoff
to the queen's jubilee.
1382
01:24:07,680 --> 01:24:09,320
Is the royal family
gonna be there?
1383
01:24:10,400 --> 01:24:12,840
They're gonna be viewing
the spectacle from a balcony
1384
01:24:12,920 --> 01:24:14,640
overlooking the river.
1385
01:24:14,720 --> 01:24:16,440
He's got a machine gun
on the barge.
1386
01:24:18,360 --> 01:24:19,400
Yes.
1387
01:24:29,040 --> 01:24:30,280
You gents lost your way?
1388
01:24:30,360 --> 01:24:31,840
Kid, tell me
you got a way out.
1389
01:24:45,880 --> 01:24:47,120
Nice move, kid.
1390
01:24:47,200 --> 01:24:48,600
So why did you come back?
1391
01:24:49,600 --> 01:24:51,240
Why did you
give up the seal?
1392
01:24:54,120 --> 01:24:55,640
'Cause I'm a fool.
1393
01:24:57,440 --> 01:24:58,960
Guess I'm a fool, too.
1394
01:24:59,720 --> 01:25:01,200
Well, put her there, fool.
1395
01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:03,760
I never got your name.
1396
01:25:03,840 --> 01:25:05,160
Name's Chaplin...
1397
01:25:06,160 --> 01:25:07,640
Charlie Chaplin.
1398
01:25:48,680 --> 01:25:50,520
You have grown up
1399
01:25:56,120 --> 01:25:57,760
Once the fireworks start,
1400
01:25:59,000 --> 01:26:03,400
slit her throat, and leave
her body by the gun
1401
01:26:08,760 --> 01:26:10,120
Excuse me.
1402
01:26:10,200 --> 01:26:11,400
Excuse me, please!
1403
01:26:11,520 --> 01:26:12,720
Excuse me.
1404
01:26:21,680 --> 01:26:23,400
You warn the royal family.
1405
01:26:23,480 --> 01:26:24,560
I'll save Lin.
1406
01:26:24,640 --> 01:26:26,160
How on earth are
you gonna do that?
1407
01:26:26,240 --> 01:26:27,320
Aah!
1408
01:27:30,640 --> 01:27:32,040
Ooh!
1409
01:27:53,520 --> 01:27:54,680
You okay?
1410
01:28:01,080 --> 01:28:02,240
I just saved you!
1411
01:28:02,320 --> 01:28:03,640
You were late!
1412
01:28:03,720 --> 01:28:04,920
What?
1413
01:28:09,440 --> 01:28:10,640
Nelson?
1414
01:28:23,400 --> 01:28:25,040
Why are you hiding yourself
back there?
1415
01:28:25,120 --> 01:28:27,360
I shouldn't like to
impede your view,
Your Highness.
1416
01:28:27,440 --> 01:28:29,480
Nonsense!
you arranged all this.
1417
01:28:29,560 --> 01:28:31,240
You should have
a front-row view.
1418
01:28:31,320 --> 01:28:34,600
I regret that
respectfully I must decline.
1419
01:28:35,360 --> 01:28:37,520
I need to keep a good eye
on proceedings.
1420
01:28:39,920 --> 01:28:41,560
Whoo!
1421
01:28:42,680 --> 01:28:44,680
Nelson, you've
outdone yourself.
1422
01:28:44,800 --> 01:28:47,000
Wait till you see
the finale.
1423
01:28:51,720 --> 01:28:52,800
Hey!
1424
01:28:55,800 --> 01:28:56,880
Hey!
1425
01:29:02,520 --> 01:29:03,520
Oh!
1426
01:29:35,040 --> 01:29:36,200
Ugh!
1427
01:30:09,200 --> 01:30:10,400
This is hopeless.
1428
01:30:10,480 --> 01:30:12,040
We're not gonna
get past the guards.
1429
01:30:12,120 --> 01:30:13,680
Not with
that attitude, we won't.
1430
01:30:13,800 --> 01:30:16,200
Come on, Artie,
there's gotta be a way.
There's always...
1431
01:30:28,920 --> 01:30:29,920
Aah!
1432
01:30:31,120 --> 01:30:32,240
Lin!
1433
01:31:00,080 --> 01:31:01,280
Aaah!
1434
01:31:09,040 --> 01:31:10,160
Yeah!
1435
01:31:10,960 --> 01:31:12,160
Yee-haw!
1436
01:31:12,680 --> 01:31:13,800
Yee-haw!
1437
01:31:16,040 --> 01:31:17,280
We got to jump it!
1438
01:31:18,080 --> 01:31:19,200
Aaah!
1439
01:31:22,520 --> 01:31:23,520
Aaah!
1440
01:31:23,600 --> 01:31:24,680
Aaah!
1441
01:32:09,080 --> 01:32:10,280
Wu Chow!
1442
01:32:27,840 --> 01:32:29,520
Hold it right there,
Rathboner.
1443
01:32:30,920 --> 01:32:32,000
Ugh! oh.
1444
01:32:32,080 --> 01:32:33,840
I'm guessing
by your hasty retreat
1445
01:32:33,920 --> 01:32:36,320
that you're still
20th in line for the throne.
1446
01:32:36,400 --> 01:32:37,400
10th.
1447
01:32:37,480 --> 01:32:39,800
Inspector Doyle,
arrest this man.
1448
01:32:43,520 --> 01:32:44,720
He's got a gun!
1449
01:32:44,800 --> 01:32:45,880
Oh!
1450
01:32:48,000 --> 01:32:49,080
Come on!
1451
01:32:50,800 --> 01:32:51,840
You okay?
1452
01:32:51,960 --> 01:32:53,160
What happened?
1453
01:32:53,480 --> 01:32:55,560
Rathbone nailed Artie
with a little sissy gun.
1454
01:32:56,240 --> 01:32:57,920
I'll look after him.
You two go.
1455
01:32:58,360 --> 01:32:59,440
Go!
1456
01:33:07,640 --> 01:33:08,800
For Father.
1457
01:33:09,880 --> 01:33:11,160
For Father.
1458
01:33:11,600 --> 01:33:13,000
For Old Man Wang.
1459
01:33:17,960 --> 01:33:20,160
Oh, my lucky playing cards.
1460
01:33:29,040 --> 01:33:30,240
Be careful.
1461
01:33:31,320 --> 01:33:33,440
Tell Rathbone
to be careful.
1462
01:33:33,520 --> 01:33:35,040
Roy, let's go.
1463
01:33:42,640 --> 01:33:44,400
You're gonna need
a bigger gun!
1464
01:34:02,760 --> 01:34:03,840
You see him?
1465
01:34:03,920 --> 01:34:05,000
No.
1466
01:34:05,680 --> 01:34:07,600
Show your face, Rathbone!
1467
01:34:07,680 --> 01:34:09,280
I'm gonna tear
this guy apart.
1468
01:34:09,360 --> 01:34:11,400
Roy, you go this way
I'll go that way.
1469
01:34:11,480 --> 01:34:13,920
Split up? I don't know
if that's a good idea.
1470
01:34:14,000 --> 01:34:15,080
It's okay.
1471
01:34:16,120 --> 01:34:17,120
Aah.
1472
01:34:24,880 --> 01:34:26,280
He's not up here.
1473
01:34:28,240 --> 01:34:29,680
Roy, keep going.
1474
01:34:33,440 --> 01:34:35,080
Ah, come on, Roy.
1475
01:34:48,920 --> 01:34:50,560
Hey, uh, Rathbone...
1476
01:34:51,160 --> 01:34:53,280
Was just thinking
of a title for my new book...
1477
01:34:54,480 --> 01:34:57,680
"Roy O'Bannon
vs. Little Lord Sissy."
1478
01:34:58,160 --> 01:35:01,360
But what about
"Roy O'Bannon vs.
The Man Who Would Be Queen"?
1479
01:35:04,920 --> 01:35:06,040
No sign of him, Chon.
1480
01:35:06,120 --> 01:35:08,040
The coast
is clear up here.
1481
01:35:14,000 --> 01:35:15,440
Roy! look out!
1482
01:35:16,560 --> 01:35:17,680
Aaah!
1483
01:35:18,040 --> 01:35:19,080
Roy!
1484
01:35:19,160 --> 01:35:20,480
Oops.
1485
01:35:24,920 --> 01:35:26,600
Come on up.
1486
01:35:26,680 --> 01:35:28,600
I'll show you
how your father died.
1487
01:35:31,720 --> 01:35:32,840
Uuuhhh!
1488
01:36:08,680 --> 01:36:10,080
Lord, help me.
1489
01:36:10,760 --> 01:36:13,240
Just let me know you're there.
Love me. Hate me.
1490
01:36:13,320 --> 01:36:15,480
But let me know
you're up there!
1491
01:36:15,560 --> 01:36:17,760
Hey, I can see
our hotel from here.
1492
01:36:17,840 --> 01:36:18,840
Wow.
1493
01:36:18,960 --> 01:36:20,040
Uhh!
1494
01:36:32,040 --> 01:36:33,400
Come along.
1495
01:36:33,840 --> 01:36:35,320
I'm waiting.
1496
01:36:36,560 --> 01:36:38,680
Come on, Roy. Okay.
1497
01:36:38,760 --> 01:36:41,040
Roy O'Bannon
will not go quietly.
1498
01:36:41,120 --> 01:36:42,440
You hear that, England?
1499
01:36:42,520 --> 01:36:44,320
Throw whatever
you want at me...
1500
01:36:44,440 --> 01:36:47,320
Your terrible weather,
your perverted killers,
1501
01:36:47,400 --> 01:36:49,080
your spotted dick!
1502
01:37:26,120 --> 01:37:27,920
Roy, you're about to die.
1503
01:37:28,000 --> 01:37:30,080
You're on the minute hand
of a clock.
1504
01:37:30,160 --> 01:37:33,360
Oh! my life
is flashing before my eyes.
1505
01:37:34,200 --> 01:37:36,800
Wait a minute.
I don't remember her.
1506
01:37:52,320 --> 01:37:53,320
One more.
1507
01:38:08,720 --> 01:38:09,720
One more.
1508
01:38:33,240 --> 01:38:34,560
Oh!
1509
01:38:39,360 --> 01:38:40,920
How disappointing.
1510
01:38:43,840 --> 01:38:45,120
One more.
1511
01:38:57,480 --> 01:38:58,760
You killed my friend.
1512
01:39:05,400 --> 01:39:06,880
You killed my father!
1513
01:39:17,720 --> 01:39:19,120
Aaah!
1514
01:39:26,840 --> 01:39:28,480
Roy?
1515
01:39:29,240 --> 01:39:31,280
I thought
you were dead! Oh!
1516
01:39:31,400 --> 01:39:34,040
You think
some tea-drinking psycho
1517
01:39:34,120 --> 01:39:35,920
can take out Roy O'Bannon?
1518
01:39:47,960 --> 01:39:49,000
Whoa.
1519
01:39:49,080 --> 01:39:50,920
Easy there, cowboy.
1520
01:39:53,920 --> 01:39:54,920
Huh?
1521
01:39:55,000 --> 01:39:56,080
Aaah!
1522
01:40:01,920 --> 01:40:03,000
Aaah!
1523
01:40:03,880 --> 01:40:05,080
Aaah!
1524
01:40:13,520 --> 01:40:14,520
You got any ideas?
1525
01:40:14,600 --> 01:40:15,680
Aah.
1526
01:40:17,840 --> 01:40:20,360
We jump!
1527
01:40:20,440 --> 01:40:21,640
Jump?
1528
01:40:23,600 --> 01:40:24,600
You mean fall?
1529
01:40:25,320 --> 01:40:26,440
Aim for the flag!
1530
01:40:26,520 --> 01:40:28,120
Ah, shit.
1531
01:40:29,800 --> 01:40:31,240
I gotta
tell you something.
1532
01:40:31,320 --> 01:40:32,600
What?
1533
01:40:32,680 --> 01:40:35,240
You're the best sidekick
I could ever ask for.
1534
01:40:35,600 --> 01:40:37,080
Thank you, Roy.
1535
01:40:37,160 --> 01:40:38,480
I feel the same about you.
1536
01:40:39,840 --> 01:40:41,080
On three.
1537
01:40:41,480 --> 01:40:42,800
One...
1538
01:40:42,880 --> 01:40:43,880
Two...
1539
01:40:43,960 --> 01:40:45,040
Three!
1540
01:40:45,120 --> 01:40:46,560
Aaaaah!
1541
01:40:51,600 --> 01:40:53,080
Aaaaaah!
1542
01:40:58,120 --> 01:40:59,960
Aaah!
1543
01:41:03,000 --> 01:41:06,080
Aaah! Aaah! Aaah-haa!
1544
01:41:06,160 --> 01:41:08,000
Aaah! Aaah!
1545
01:41:08,080 --> 01:41:09,600
Aaah! Aah! Aah!
1546
01:41:09,680 --> 01:41:11,720
Aaah! Aah!
1547
01:41:11,800 --> 01:41:13,040
Roy. Roy!
1548
01:41:13,120 --> 01:41:14,160
Aah!
1549
01:41:16,920 --> 01:41:18,000
Howdy.
1550
01:41:22,360 --> 01:41:24,760
In recognition
of outstanding bravery,
1551
01:41:25,480 --> 01:41:28,000
I dub you
Sir Chon Wang.
1552
01:41:33,640 --> 01:41:35,560
For uncommon valor,
1553
01:41:35,640 --> 01:41:38,920
I dub you
Sir Roy O'Bannon.
1554
01:41:44,920 --> 01:41:48,000
And for steadfast dedication
to justice,
1555
01:41:48,360 --> 01:41:51,400
I dub you
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
1556
01:41:57,160 --> 01:41:58,480
Arise.
1557
01:42:13,720 --> 01:42:15,360
Who loves you, baby?
1558
01:42:32,720 --> 01:42:33,720
Madam.
1559
01:42:36,280 --> 01:42:39,200
Artie, I bet Scotland Yard's
dying to get you back now.
1560
01:42:39,280 --> 01:42:41,600
My official
crime-fighting days are over.
1561
01:42:41,680 --> 01:42:43,440
The Queen has asked me
to accompany
1562
01:42:43,520 --> 01:42:45,080
the Imperial Seal
back to China.
1563
01:42:45,160 --> 01:42:46,440
What a week.
Unbelievable.
1564
01:42:46,520 --> 01:42:48,720
She couldn't have picked
a better man, right, Chon?
1565
01:42:48,800 --> 01:42:49,800
Yeah.
1566
01:42:49,880 --> 01:42:52,720
And the voyage is gonna
give me time to work
on my new novel.
1567
01:42:53,080 --> 01:42:55,040
It features a new kind
of detective,
1568
01:42:55,120 --> 01:42:58,080
and he's gonna solve crimes
using deductive reasoning.
1569
01:42:58,160 --> 01:42:59,720
Give me a name.
What's his name?
1570
01:42:59,800 --> 01:43:01,560
Actually, Roy,
I was rather hoping
1571
01:43:01,640 --> 01:43:04,040
to call him Sherlock Holmes,
if that's all right with you.
1572
01:43:06,320 --> 01:43:08,320
I'd be insulted
if you didn't use it.
1573
01:43:15,320 --> 01:43:16,320
See you, Artie.
1574
01:43:18,560 --> 01:43:20,640
That was very nice
of you, Roy.
1575
01:43:20,720 --> 01:43:23,120
I would've kept the name
if I thought it was any good.
1576
01:43:23,200 --> 01:43:24,880
It's a horrible name
for a detective...
1577
01:43:24,960 --> 01:43:26,920
Sherlock Holmes? Holmes?
1578
01:43:28,520 --> 01:43:30,480
Stop playing with that!
I'm gonna smash it.
1579
01:43:30,560 --> 01:43:32,000
I just want to see it
for a second.
1580
01:43:32,080 --> 01:43:33,120
Just let me see it.
1581
01:43:33,200 --> 01:43:34,480
No, you're
gonna break it.
1582
01:43:35,600 --> 01:43:37,920
It's just a rock
with some gibberish on it.
1583
01:43:38,000 --> 01:43:39,440
That's Chinese.
1584
01:43:41,040 --> 01:43:43,040
"Family is forever, my son.
1585
01:43:43,800 --> 01:43:46,240
"I'm proud you cast
your own stone."
1586
01:43:47,680 --> 01:43:48,680
Wow.
1587
01:43:48,760 --> 01:43:50,200
That's a good message.
1588
01:43:57,760 --> 01:44:00,200
I'd like to cast
my own stone, Chon.
1589
01:44:07,440 --> 01:44:08,440
Hi.
1590
01:44:08,520 --> 01:44:09,600
Hi.
1591
01:44:14,680 --> 01:44:17,360
I told you... The House
of O'Bannon will prevail.
1592
01:44:23,480 --> 01:44:25,480
Chon, I got a business
proposition for you.
1593
01:44:26,320 --> 01:44:27,440
No more zeppelins.
1594
01:44:27,520 --> 01:44:29,560
No, no, this is much better
than zeppelins...
1595
01:44:29,640 --> 01:44:32,720
A new thing they're starting
out in California
called moving pictures.
1596
01:44:32,800 --> 01:44:33,800
Pass.
1597
01:44:33,880 --> 01:44:35,280
Hold it. Hold it. Hear me out.
1598
01:44:35,360 --> 01:44:37,800
I really think these movies
could play to your strength.
1599
01:44:37,920 --> 01:44:41,080
There's no sounds.
We don't have to worry
about the language problem.
1600
01:44:41,160 --> 01:44:44,840
And I think the kung fu stuff
could be huge.
1601
01:44:44,920 --> 01:44:47,080
People are dying
for a good action picture.
1602
01:44:47,680 --> 01:44:48,920
What do you think?
1603
01:44:49,560 --> 01:44:51,720
Chon Wang, movie star?
1604
01:44:52,200 --> 01:44:53,200
It could work.
1605
01:44:54,440 --> 01:44:57,040
I feel bad about
ditching that Chaplin kid,
1606
01:44:57,120 --> 01:44:59,720
but we're gonna be running
and gunning in Hollywood,
1607
01:44:59,800 --> 01:45:01,840
and he'd just
cramp our style.
1608
01:45:01,920 --> 01:45:03,760
It's such a tough town.
1609
01:45:20,360 --> 01:45:21,760
Bloody tourists!
1610
01:45:22,440 --> 01:45:23,640
Action!
1611
01:45:28,160 --> 01:45:31,120
♪ People tryto put us d-down
1612
01:45:31,200 --> 01:45:33,600
♪ Talkin' 'boutmy generation
1613
01:45:33,680 --> 01:45:35,840
♪ Just because we get around
1614
01:45:35,920 --> 01:45:38,680
♪ Talkin' 'boutmy generation
1615
01:45:41,080 --> 01:45:42,600
You have to say "cut."
1616
01:45:43,880 --> 01:45:45,560
You just keep looking!
1617
01:45:45,880 --> 01:45:48,080
♪ Talkin' 'boutmy generation
1618
01:45:48,160 --> 01:45:49,200
Ouch.
1619
01:45:49,880 --> 01:45:52,920
♪ This is my generationBaby ♪
1620
01:45:53,640 --> 01:45:55,560
Come here,
you little minx.
1621
01:45:55,920 --> 01:45:57,040
Cut.
1622
01:45:57,120 --> 01:45:58,720
That was good.
1623
01:45:58,800 --> 01:46:00,440
That was a good one, huh?
1624
01:46:02,000 --> 01:46:05,080
Maybe on this one
I should lick you...
You think?
1625
01:46:05,440 --> 01:46:08,320
Like, after you lick me...
That could be kind of good.
1626
01:46:09,240 --> 01:46:10,320
And, Jackie...
1627
01:46:10,920 --> 01:46:12,400
Jackie? Thank you.
1628
01:46:12,480 --> 01:46:14,920
Hi, Owen.
Hello. How are you?
1629
01:46:15,000 --> 01:46:17,240
Okay. And I'm not
Roy O'Bannon.
1630
01:46:17,320 --> 01:46:18,320
Who are you?
1631
01:46:20,040 --> 01:46:21,800
Damn it, Chon,
I think she's the one.
1632
01:46:21,880 --> 01:46:24,600
I know it's crazy.
We just met,
but she's the one.
1633
01:46:24,680 --> 01:46:27,160
No, Roy,
she's my babysitter.
1634
01:46:29,840 --> 01:46:31,280
Your babys...
1635
01:46:31,760 --> 01:46:32,840
What?
1636
01:46:33,640 --> 01:46:34,640
Baby what?
1637
01:46:34,720 --> 01:46:35,720
Baby sister.
1638
01:46:35,800 --> 01:46:37,240
Baby... Baby sister?
1639
01:46:37,320 --> 01:46:39,600
Not babysitter,
baby sister.
1640
01:46:52,480 --> 01:46:53,480
You okay?
1641
01:46:54,920 --> 01:46:56,040
Action!
1642
01:46:57,840 --> 01:46:59,120
Ugh!
1643
01:46:59,200 --> 01:47:00,280
What happened?
1644
01:47:00,720 --> 01:47:03,280
Roy is the type of a friend
you never introduce
1645
01:47:03,360 --> 01:47:06,080
to your other friends
or bring into your family.
1646
01:47:06,160 --> 01:47:07,920
He's... Look at his eyes.
1647
01:47:08,000 --> 01:47:09,840
They're brown...
Full of shit.
1648
01:47:09,920 --> 01:47:11,000
Always...
1649
01:47:11,720 --> 01:47:13,320
Just bullshit
all the time.
1650
01:47:13,400 --> 01:47:15,040
Yeah, have you ever
heard of those?
1651
01:47:15,120 --> 01:47:18,000
They're parents.
We have parents that love us.
1652
01:47:18,080 --> 01:47:20,120
You don't, 'cause you're
a little orphan.
1653
01:47:22,360 --> 01:47:25,240
We've got par...
Yeah, parents.
1654
01:47:25,320 --> 01:47:27,960
Have you ever heard of those?
We've got parents
that love us.
1655
01:47:28,040 --> 01:47:30,400
But you don't,
'cause you're a little orphan.
1656
01:47:31,880 --> 01:47:33,480
Oh, n... Go on.
1657
01:47:34,800 --> 01:47:36,880
So mean.
1658
01:47:37,760 --> 01:47:39,960
Chon Wang, movie star?
1659
01:47:40,480 --> 01:47:41,520
It could work.
1660
01:47:41,600 --> 01:47:44,320
It could work.
You could do your own stunts.
1661
01:47:44,400 --> 01:47:45,920
What? Think about...
1662
01:47:49,680 --> 01:47:50,760
Aah!
1663
01:47:52,520 --> 01:47:53,720
Whoa! Whoa!
1664
01:47:55,200 --> 01:47:57,040
Stay here
and be a good horsey...
1665
01:47:57,120 --> 01:47:58,840
for the new sheriff.
1666
01:47:58,920 --> 01:48:00,760
Ouch! Oh!
1667
01:48:01,680 --> 01:48:02,680
Ow. That hurt.
1668
01:48:06,560 --> 01:48:08,000
Ow! Ooh!
1669
01:48:11,720 --> 01:48:12,800
Ow!
1670
01:48:15,080 --> 01:48:16,080
Oh!
1671
01:48:16,160 --> 01:48:17,200
Aaah!
1672
01:48:19,600 --> 01:48:21,520
You're supposed to
catch me!
1673
01:48:21,640 --> 01:48:22,840
Roy, catch.
1674
01:48:30,320 --> 01:48:32,200
Jesus.
That's my fault.
1675
01:48:32,320 --> 01:48:36,280
Wait a second... This nut is
killing your street women?
1676
01:48:40,640 --> 01:48:42,360
Who did that?
1677
01:48:42,440 --> 01:48:43,840
Jackie Chan.
1678
01:48:43,920 --> 01:48:44,920
Me?
1679
01:48:45,040 --> 01:48:46,120
That's right.
1680
01:48:47,440 --> 01:48:49,240
First I... First I...
1681
01:48:49,320 --> 01:48:51,240
The best take.
I'm sorry.
1682
01:48:51,560 --> 01:48:52,640
Hurry up!
1683
01:48:52,720 --> 01:48:54,560
Are you crazy?
I can't do that!
1684
01:48:54,640 --> 01:48:56,920
This isn't Chinatown!
I can't sail through the air!
1685
01:48:57,000 --> 01:48:58,280
I'm not gonna
break my neck!
1686
01:48:58,360 --> 01:48:59,360
Roy!
1687
01:48:59,440 --> 01:49:00,640
What in our history together
1688
01:49:00,760 --> 01:49:03,120
makes you think I'm capable
of something like that?
1689
01:49:03,200 --> 01:49:04,200
It's getting bigger!
1690
01:49:04,280 --> 01:49:06,480
There's gotta be
a better way.
Roy!
1691
01:49:07,280 --> 01:49:08,520
Roy!
1692
01:49:09,840 --> 01:49:11,360
My ass is on fire.
1693
01:49:23,480 --> 01:49:26,440
♪ I'm not contentto be with you
1694
01:49:26,520 --> 01:49:28,440
♪ In the daytime
1695
01:49:30,640 --> 01:49:33,400
♪ Girl, I wantto be with you
1696
01:49:33,480 --> 01:49:35,400
♪ All of the time
1697
01:49:37,560 --> 01:49:40,360
♪ The only timeI feel all right
1698
01:49:40,440 --> 01:49:43,400
♪ is by your si-i-de
1699
01:49:44,560 --> 01:49:47,280
♪ Girl, I wantto be with you
1700
01:49:47,360 --> 01:49:48,840
♪ All of the time
1701
01:49:48,920 --> 01:49:51,200
♪ All dayand all of the night
1702
01:49:53,200 --> 01:49:55,960
♪ I believe that you and me
1703
01:49:56,040 --> 01:49:58,040
♪ Last forever
1704
01:50:00,000 --> 01:50:02,960
♪ Oh, yeah, all dayand nighttime yours
1705
01:50:03,040 --> 01:50:04,960
♪ Leave me never
1706
01:50:06,920 --> 01:50:09,920
♪ The only timeI feel all right
1707
01:50:10,040 --> 01:50:13,040
♪ Is by your si-i-de
1708
01:50:14,080 --> 01:50:16,880
♪ Girl, I wantto be with you
1709
01:50:16,960 --> 01:50:18,360
♪ All of the time
1710
01:50:18,440 --> 01:50:20,880
♪ All dayand all of the night
1711
01:50:21,680 --> 01:50:24,120
♪ All dayand all of the night
1712
01:50:25,160 --> 01:50:27,600
♪ All dayand all of the night
1713
01:50:31,520 --> 01:50:33,240
♪ All of the night
1714
01:50:34,960 --> 01:50:36,480
♪ Oh, come on
1715
01:50:50,600 --> 01:50:53,480
♪ The only timeI feel all right
1716
01:50:53,560 --> 01:50:56,520
♪ Is by your si-i-de
1717
01:50:57,560 --> 01:51:00,360
♪ Girl, I wantto be with you
1718
01:51:00,440 --> 01:51:01,880
♪ All of the time
1719
01:51:01,960 --> 01:51:04,520
♪ All dayand all of the night
1720
01:51:04,640 --> 01:51:07,360
♪ Girl, I wantto be with you
1721
01:51:07,440 --> 01:51:08,680
♪ All of the time
1722
01:51:08,760 --> 01:51:11,440
♪ All dayand all of the night
1723
01:51:11,560 --> 01:51:14,320
♪ Girl, I wantto be with you
1724
01:51:14,400 --> 01:51:15,880
♪ All of the time
1725
01:51:15,960 --> 01:51:18,160
♪ All dayand all of the night
1726
01:51:18,240 --> 01:51:20,760
♪ All dayand all of the night
1727
01:51:20,840 --> 01:51:23,320
♪ All dayand all of the night
1728
01:51:24,360 --> 01:51:27,200
♪ All dayand all of the night ♪
109038
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