All language subtitles for Standout The Ben Kjar Story

There were so many days
that I wanted

this to be taken away.

There's this story of
a man who was waiting

at the Pool of Bethesda.

He had something
wrong with him.

Many years earlier,

an angel
had disturbed the water,

and whoever touched
the moving water was healed.

That man sat by the Pool
for most of his life,

waiting for the moving
of the water.

Waiting to be healed.

I think about that story a lot.

What if the water never moved?

A local wrestler

could have used his physical
limitations to quit sports.

Instead, he used it
to his advantage.

It's a remarkable
story of his refusal

to let a rare birth
defect define him.

A genetic mutation
gave Ben Kjar

a lifetime to make excuses.

This guy has made it

to the pinnacle of the sport.

I think he came
with that champion spirit.

World champion.

- A champion heart.
- Mm-hmm.

- That's what he has.
- It's a winning
attitude.

- Stand out!
- Stand out!

- Stand out!
- Stand out!

- Stand out!
- Stand out!

- Stand out!
- Stand out!

My name is Ben Kjar.

I didn't always tell my story.
I was afraid

to tell my story, frankly.

Even to this day,
I have friends...

...that see my story...

...they come back to me,
and they're like, "Ben,

I didn't even know about this.

I didn't know you
went through all this."

And these are some
of my best buddies.

But there were a couple people
I couldn't hide it from.

In the late '70s and early '80s,

my parents, you know,

tried to make their way
through school,

tried to start a family.

We've known
each other for a long time.

We met in the first grade.

Miracle is she still married me.

The first three kids
were born fully healthy.

Amanda, Katie, and Luke.

And then I came.

When he was delivered,

instead of being
a pink little baby,

he was gray. Gray/blue.

He was almost lifeless.

I will never forget that.

He was struggling
very hard for every breath.

His eyes were bigger
than the other kids'.

He couldn't nurse and
breathe at the same time.

Stana had to feed him
with an eyedropper.

Then one day when we woke up,

his soft spot, or his fontanel,
was puffed.

I was alarmed.

We got in right away
to see a doctor.

Being a craniofacial surgeon,

I get referred to those infants

almost immediately,

to ascertain whether there

is some underlying problem.

You could see, just based
on his clinical appearance,

that Ben does have a diagnosis
of Crouzon's syndrome.

Crouzon's disease,
a congenital deformity

that causes the bones around
the brain to grow incorrectly,

which, in turn, stops the
brain from growing properly.

When we called my
parents to tell them,

"Surgery is set for this date,

this is what's going
to happen,"

I remember hearing
this strange noise

on the other end of the phone,
and-- and I didn't understand

what it was at first.

And then I realized
that it was my father,

and I had never heard
him cry like that.

We got to the hospital.

And this neurologist
said,

"This is a serious surgery.

This will take ten to 12 hours.

I need to cut open his
skull, peel the skin back,

cut the skull open, and move
the skull forward an inch."

The little boy is
nine months old.

We go into the recovery
room, and he's crying.

He had this big bandage
all over his head.

His eyes were swollen shut.

I mean, [stutters] it was like
his head was a balloon.

He had a-- a inch gap all the
way across the top of his head.

He still has a scar, to this
day, that goes from ear to ear.

But what I thought would
be a breakdown moment--

not knowing if you're
capable of caring for a child

after all that happens--

the opposite occurred.

I would take the
little soft tape

and put it on his
little swollen eyelid,

and put it up to his forehead
so that one eye was open,

and he would start
giggling and laughing

because he could see us.

I had just a blanket
of warmth fall over me.

Every day that he is with us,

we'll do everything
we can for him.

For the next two or
three years, we were okay.

We had a family life.
We're raising children.

Christmas Day.

We had three more.

Adam, Sharla, and Danner.

You gotta get that elbow thing
right around by your-- oh.

We moved back here
to Centerville

'cause we were close
to our families.

It was probably
the perfect

place for me to be raised.

I had a lot of cousins, and
the majority of my family

lived here in Centerville.

And all the cousins--
all the cousins

turn around and
wave to the camera.

- Wave.
- Hi!

Hi, Daddy!

All his cousins were an
incredible support to him,

and he just lived
in that sphere.

My name is Logan Essig.

I am Ben's first cousin.

He's been my best friend,
I don't know, my whole life.

It was like Logan was
sent specifically for Ben.

They were just kindred spirits.

I mean, we had such a good time,
and he loved me for who I was.

We'd see each other,
and it was just--

we'd be screaming like, "Yeah,
we get to play." You know?

We'd go outside.
We'd play basketball.

Here's a good layup, look.

Okay.

Oh, that was a good layup.

It didn't even occur to me that
Ben was viewed as different.

Nobody else in the family did.

They did not recognize that
he was different at all.

In fact, some of my
younger kids could not

figure out why Ben was
having these big surgeries.

"What's the matter with Ben?"

He was getting to
the age where

he realized people weren't just
looking at his whole family.

They were looking at him.

If he was with family, he
could be as comfortable

as a child could
be in his scenario.

But when you're outside
that environment,

he could feel it happening.

And so he would start
drawing in and looking down.

Ben?
Come out of the shadows.

Come over here.

Let's see a big smile.

Many times,
Scott and I would lay awake.

We often wondered,

how do you teach
self-confidence to someone

that looks different?

Just down the street,
there was a family

that moved in named the Clarks
and the youngest was named Nate.

Well, I grew up in
a household with
seven older brothers,

these tough athletes and
always fighting and boxing

and playing tackle
football with each other.

Ben and I-- we were kinda
tied at the hip.

We were just like,
"We wanna play."

All my buddies
played these sports.

I remember going up to my
parents and saying,
"Hey, Mom and Dad,

I know we just spent
a lot of money on a surgery.

Can I go bang
my head with other kids?"

But the doctors would say,

"You know, you need to
limit some of his activity."

There was not a
long history of, "How do we

deal with children
with craniofacial anomalies?"

Logic would say, "Well,
you treat them cautiously."

I've had a lot of
patients with

similar conditions as Ben.

Many of these kids wanted to
play football, contact sports,

even wrestling,

and I would advise
the parents against it,

just because with head holds
and being hit in the face,

I was worried that
he would re-injure

his face after surgery.

When I was told I couldn't
play, it was hard.

It was really hard.

Even though they said,
"No sports,"

they were bound and
determined to help him

live as normal a life
as he possibly could.

Yeah, well, it says
"Record" on this.

- Does it say record?
- Yes, it does. REC.

There is Danner,
and there's Ben.

And so we tried to get
him involved in lots of things,

along with all his
other siblings.

W-- We didn't say, "Oh, you sit
over there in the corner

and just be yourself, and, you
know, you have problems."

We didn't let him do that.

- All right, Ben.
- Go!

It's scary.

- Go, Ben.
- After you go, I'll go.

Ben, you're a wuss.

My parents and my siblings--
they were incredible cuddlers,

but they were not good coddlers.

If you don't go then
I'm gonna push you off.

Ben, go!

It was like, "We're not
gonna protect you with
bubble wrap."

Instead, they put
us in activities

to find something
I could find confidence in.

So you'd come home from school.

I remember I'd just go
straight to his house

and knock on his door and,

"Hey, can Ben play today?"

And it was always, "No,

Ben has piano lessons."

Like, it was just
always something.

Orchestra.

Dance.

Gingerbread Kids singing.

I mean, how uncool
is that, right?

I mean, you name it.

Even though I hated it.

So finally, I was just,
like, determined

to hang out with my
best friend. I was like,

"Well, I'll go to
Gingerbread Kids with him.

Like, what is Gingerbread Kids?"
And I got there...

And I was like, "What on Earth
is your mom having you guys do?

This is crazy. Like, I just
get to sign up for sports."

Well, that wasn't an option.

Okay, Ben. Come on.

But they still wanted
me to find courage.

Something that I could
fall in love with.

Just jump!

- Yeah!
- Hey...

My friends, my siblings
were always strong.

I knew that with them around
me, it's gonna be okay.

But one time, my parents let
me go to the store by myself.

I had picked out a candy bar,

and I'd sat there just feeling
like a king of the world.

And the guy who
was in front of me

was this adult man

with his kids who
I'd never seen before.

He would look at me.

He grabbed his kids, pulled them
close to him, and pointed at me.

He said, "Hey, get behind me.
Hurry. Get behind me, kids.

Don't go near him, and don't
touch him 'cause he's probably

contagious."

And he got out to
his car like this,

like he was getting
away from a monster.

A lot of times,
I had been made fun of.

But it was when the
adults made fun of me,

that's when I just broke.

I would go home, and
I'd run in the bathroom,

and I'd slam the door and just
collapse against the wall.

I went up and tried to

get in,
and he wouldn't let me in.

I couldn't imagine
what had just occurred.

I thought,
"I've gotta figure out a way

to physically take my face off.

I gotta figure out a way...

...to physically remove
the difference."

Luckily, my mom came in before
I made any... smart decisions.

At first, he wouldn't
say anything,

and then he started saying
what had just happened.

Ben felt like he was
just broken and diseased.

And she just
collapsed on me,

and she just bawled with me,

and I just told her
everything I was feeling.

It was the first time I had
ever heard him say, "Why me?"

Very quickly after that, my mom

put me in front of the mirror,

and she said something
that would affect me

for the rest of my life.

"Do you think this
challenge that is yours...

...came because God looked
the other way for a minute?

Do you think that
it's going to go away?"

"You're gonna attract
attention just

because you
look different, Ben."

"Other people do a lot for
someone to notice them.

You know, they act out just
trying to get someone

to pay attention to them.

You know what?
That's not your deal."

"You were born different,

so why don't you
make a difference?"

"You're gonna
have to reach deep.

But since you are standing
out anyway...

...use it.

Use what you've been
made for, and stand out."

At the time,
the local high school

had a youth program called
Little Viking Wrestling.

All the youth in
the neighborhoods

and in the surrounding
area would come,

and they would match kids up.

And, like, once or twice
a week, they'd have

this practice that was
basically, like,

glorified babysitting.

And Bart Thompson
was the coach there.

Viewmont High had had
some real serious success,

but... that had disappeared.

Not long before that, the--
the film Take Down had come out.

It was about an English teacher
who drew the short straw

and was told he had to
be the wrestling coach.

He had this odd
assortment of kids.

Uh, winning
is not the only thing.

The main thing is,
uh... to have fun.

That was us.

We did not have a single set
of uniforms for everybody...

...and we struggled.

I knew that you've got
to have a program

before the high school

to have a shot.

My older brother Luke
would go and wrestle

and compete
in this little league.

And I would feel the passion
cheering my brother on.

"Go, Luke! Go, Luke!"

Get in there, Luke.

Ben wasn't allowed to
be in the program yet.

But he was walking around while
the tournament's going on...

...and anybody he could go
over to the bleachers

and grab by the hand,
he would pull them out

onto the edge of the mats
and wrestle with them.

He did that through
the whole tournament.

I-- I'll bet he wrestled eight,
ten different kids...

...all of whom
were bigger than him.

And at the end of
the tournament,

Luke got a medal that was about,
like, the size of a penny.

Right?

And as he got this medal,

I was so mad

that I didn't get a medal.

I wanted a medal.

And I informed him
they have to be earned.

"You have to earn a medal, and
you weren't in the tournament."

But that was not...

...a satisfactory answer for me.

I made such a scene.

Finally, my mom went
up to Bart Thompson

and said, "How much do I have
to pay you for an extra medal?"

I said,
"I got him taken care of."

Picked him up, set him on
top of our award stand,

and awarded him
a special award for

wrestling the most
people that night.

And he said,
"Congratulations, champ."

And that, like, gave me
a sample of what it was like

to feel... just, like, noticed.

That's when we started
to see Ben just get a...

...fire in the gut that
takes him somewhere.

There was no doubt.

We knew right there we
couldn't limit him anymore.

Doctors hesitated,
but we weren't

going to live in fear
of what might happen

or what might not happen.

After that, my parents
put me in everything.

I mean, you name it,
from indoor soccer...

All right. Get up, Ben.
Hustle.

...to basketball, baseball.

He loved every sport he played.

We were just so happy
to see Ben smiling, you know?

Although I want you to know that

sometimes it was hard
to watch him do it.

It was hard because if
Crouzon syndrome wasn't enough

to go bang heads with
other kids, it was my size.

I was the smallest dude
on the field by far.

I looked like Spaceballs in the
movie, with the huge helmets.

I remember seeing it
on the field one day.

I saw the biggest on the
opposite team just hit him...

Yeah! Keep going!

...and I remember him just
laying on the field

like-- you know?

And-- and I just thought,
"Wow...

...how many of those
are we gonna take?"

But I also had a-- a big heart.

Go, go, go.

And so I would work hard.

I started gaining
confidence through sports.

Ben Kjar.

Are you gonna
do this again next year?

- Yeah.
- Yes, ma'am.

I started to think in that
realm

when kids would bully me.

Like, for an example,
in elementary--

this had happened
numerous times.

There was a kid a couple
ages older than me,

and he would look at me and
literally, like, call me names.

And so he would just look at
me and be like, "Flat face.

Hey, flat face.

Everybody look at flat face."

I would think, late at night in
my bed, you know, cuddled up,

"Why would he do that?"

The kid was bigger than me, and
I didn't feel like I could,

like, box him or beat him up.

But eventually I started to
think of ways to defend myself.

And then the next morning
when he said, "Hey, flat face.

Look at flat face!"

I remember thinking,
"I'm gonna do it this time.

I'm gonna do it this time."

And I pointed at him.
I was like,

"Hey, round face.
Look at you, round face!"

Ben's not very
good at being mean.

Was that the best thing to do?

A-- Absolutely, probably not,

but he kinda shut
his mouth after that.

Ben's confidence grew in
every sport that he touched,

but he truly got the
most out of wrestling.

And I think a lot of the reasons
for that came from Shandell.

In high school,
Bart Thompson was my coach.

I won two state titles.

Then I won a
Junior College National title.

At that time,
Centerville Junior High School

was the worst in the
district, the worst.

And all of a sudden,
my uncle walks out

of the principal's office.

I'm like, "What are
you doing here?"

'Cause he was just
barely out of college.

He says, "I'm your new wrestling
coach," and it just lit me up.

I was the head coach
here at the junior high,

and I was the assistant
at the high school.

People think that all we had to
do was build the fundamentals

and build the excitement
for our sport.

But a lot of the
coaches are going

to be teaching the
same techniques.

There's all sorts of
foundational

or fundamental
techniques that you teach.

There are a variety
of ways to score in wrestling.

Every move a wrestler makes
contributes to scoring points

or preventing their
opponent from doing so.

Where the secret is,
is we teach the young men to,

ultimately, stay
away from the things

off the mat that
will make them weak.

You've got to stay away
from the bad pictures.

You got to stay away
from the bad movies.

You got to stay away
from drugs, alcohol.

This is your recipe for success.

He was teaching boys to be
men, and not just good men,

but great men.

I realized early on that Ben's
opportunities may be limited,

and so we spent maybe
a little extra time

as he started wrestling because
early on, there was no success.

They had the state
freestyle tournament.

Ben, who was in elementary
school, said, "What the heck?

I-- I wanna go up
and wrestle, too."

He came away with the
third place medal,

and he was just beaming
from ear to ear.

He didn't know that there was
only three guys in his weight.

I don't think he won a match.

The challenges that
he was faced with...

...would have... caused
anybody, I think,

to just absolutely...
you know, fold up shop.

He was at a fundamental
disadvantage in many ways.

Shorter than almost
every opponent.

Small hands, short limbs.

It was painful
because his teeth were

so packed in, and the braces
and everything that he had.

His mouth was largely bleeding
in almost every single match.

Maybe the best way
to say it is,

"You've probably got more
athletic ability

in that much of your
little finger

than Ben had in his whole body."

Kids would go out
and just push him around
and thump him.

There were many times where
he would come off the mat...

...fall at my feet...

...and just cry.

And my sister,
she'd let me have it.

"I can't believe you're
doing this to my kid.

Is this good?
Is this bad?

Is this--" Whatever.

Shoulders up!

In my heart, I knew

there are hard things
that happen

that you really learn from.

So we just prayed
often as a family.

We hoped that that helped him.

I was talking to him,
and he said, "Do you know what?

I could never lay on my back."

I said, "What are you
talking about?" He said,

"I have had every sport
outgrow me except for wrestling.

So I have to do well.

The thought of my shoulders
touching a mattress or a mat

is something that
I don't wanna feel."

For him to want
something so bad...

...that's building character.

That's what's
gonna make him great.

In junior high I was the
lightest weight, 78 pounds,
in seventh grade.

Ben, soaking wet,
was not close to 78.

And wrestling is a true sport.

It's not the coach saying,
"You're varsity, you're JV."

We have wrestle-offs.

You compete
against the guys that

are your size, your weight,

and the winner gets varsity,
and then the next gets JV.

But he had not been able to
beat Zac Morby, his teammate,

his drilling partner.

In fourth place, Zac Morby

of Northside.

I was quicker than Ben.

I felt like I was a better
technician than Ben.

And so we wrestled off every
week for that entire year

for the varsity spot,
and I won all the time.

The varsity guys had, like,
the cooler warm-ups

and all that stuff.

And that meant
that I had to wear

the old, worn-out singlets

that were way
too baggy for me, right?

Looked like I was
wearing a parachute.

But there was something else
way worse than baggy singlets.

As we would go to roll out the
mats and get ready to warm up,

we would always pass
by the cheerleaders.

And numerous times them
seeing me, these girls,

and them laughing, snickering
in groups of three or four

and pointing at
me and being like,

"Ah-ha, that's your boyfriend.

That's your boyfriend."

Like, I would be the last
thing that they would ever

want in their life.

And then going out and
performing on the same mat

as them cheering.

And every single time before
a big performance,

something like
that would happen.

My biggest fear was,
"Could I be loved?"

People would say, "Hey,
is that kid that kind of

looks like Quasimodo,

is he on your team?"

Every away match,
so many people thought...

...that he was mentally
handicapped, too.

It was... crushing.

You know, in football,
I could hide behind a mask,

but not in wrestling.

Everyone saw who you were.

I said, "Hey, pal,
use it as venom."

"Let it be the venom
that drives you."

Ben and Zac and I were
weightlifting partners.

You know, we went to the gym
on our own.

But Ben always took
that to a higher level.

It was, "How much more
weight can I push?

How much faster can I run?

I mean, there was
never a let-up.

If Ben was ever losing a
match, I would go like this.

And it meant,
"wipe off the crybaby face,

and get back to work."

I saw his faith,
his confidence,

his conditioning grow.

I loved it...
because it was just me.

I can control how many
repetitions I did.

I can control if I show
up early or leave late.

I can control my attitude.

I had waited my entire life

to have control over something,

and I finally felt like I had
that in a sport like wrestling.

At the end of the season, we
have a qualifying tournament,

the South End
Wrestling Tournament,

where each school gets
to bring two wrestlers.

So I got to bring
both Zac and Ben

and enter them in the
same weight class.

They were on the opposite
sides of the bracket.

They ended up meeting
in the finals.

At 78 pounds,

from Centerville Junior High,
we have Zac Morby,

and also from Centerville,
we have Ben Kjar.

It seemed like
even though I felt

like I was faster, you know,
probably more technical,

I felt like I was just
wrestling to hang on.

He was just so mean.

It was a different
feel, for sure.

And it was not a close match.

Ben ended up, like, pinning
me in the second round.

At that time, I was like,
"I don't wanna be JV.

That's not good."

I was worried about losing
the cooler warm-ups,

and Ben was just like--
he didn't care about that.

He was like, "Whatever.
I got the varsity spot,

Zac, keep the warm-ups.
I don't even want 'em."

Then they were able
to go to the

district championship.

During that tournament,
little tiny Ben,

still probably eight pounds
under the lowest weight,

got to the district
championship, the finals

of all of Davis County, and
wrestled this big ninth grader

that also weighed 78 pounds.

His name was Blake Isom.

He won the district
tournament the year before.

This big ninth
grader probably cut weight

down from 88 pounds down to 78.

Given the history,
we didn't expect

to even be close in that match.

I just didn't think
I could handle it.

In my opinion,

I thought it was gonna
be no competition.

But then he gets an escape.

And then all of a sudden,
it was like, "Holy cow,

he could actually
stay in the match

and have an opportunity to win."

I remember sitting
with Stana on the bench,

and it was to
the point where if...

...the ninth grader escaped,

then Ben would lose.

And Stana just calling out,
"Reach deep, Ben.

Reach deep."

Reach deep, Ben. That's it.

Reach deep, Ben.
That's good.

Come on, Ben! Come on!

Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

And that is exactly
what he did.

Way to go, Kjar!

Come on, hold on.

That was
one of his most

gritty turning points
in his life.

Nobody in the grocery
store, no mean kid

can ever take that
away from you.

And you look back and say,
"Okay, th-- that was worth it."

After that...
he was a confident boy.

That gave me such... swagger.

♪ I'm ready to go get it
Like a Labrador ♪

♪ Dog day's done and I'm
Tired of the tug of war ♪

When you think of
the glory sports,

wrestling does not normally
come to the top of mind.

You're stripping
off your clothes

and getting down
into your singlet.

You're wrestling around
with another man.

That's not something most
people are like, "Dude,

this is the most
glorious sport ever."

Ben somehow turns it into
the coolest thing ever.

I started to make
friends.

I can do this.

I remember my first day at
Centerville Junior High.

I was brand new.

It was scary going
to a new school.

And I saw this little
short boy

with a little strut
walking down the hall.

And he had this entourage
of people behind him.

He just had this
confidence that was insane.

As I looked at him,
he goes, "Hey, what's up?"

And the first thought
that came to my mind was,

"Wow, he's a cool kid."

At that point,

when people said
something mean about his face,

I also saw the metamorphosis
for Ben to know how to react.

Rather than just retaliate
with another negative comment,

he went to humor, often.

One day, some neighbor
girls were in the park.

We were out jumping
on our trampoline.

And he was singing, "The
sun will come out tomorrow.

I love you. I love you."

And Nate said, "Hey...

...Ben wants
you to be his girlfriend."

They just started
laughing and saying

that he had a weird face and he
was ugly and there was

no chance.

Ben piped up and said,
"Well...

...I'm not giving up on you,
babe."

And the funny thing
was is he ended up

kissing one of those girls
a couple years later.

First time I met Ben was
at a wrestling tournament.

I'd never seen anybody

that had a face like his face.

He had his singlet on,
and he had some thermals on

under his singlet.

I mean, I was like,
"I'm gonna kick this kid's butt.

Like, he has no idea
what he's doing.

Why is he wearing thermals
on under his singlet, right?"

And then he kicked my
butt in a wrestling match.

And I was like, "Dude,
that kid is freaking tough."

Ben significantly
improved very quickly.

By the time he went
to a high school,

the question is gonna be
how far he could potentially

push himself.

Viewmont High School
is 53 years old.

It's home to 1800 students.

After years of
junior high, other people

become accustomed
to seeing you.

But when I went to high school,
it-- it wasn't that.

Coming from the junior
high in the wrestling room,

for sure,
people underestimated him.

The first day when he walked
in the room

and people didn't know him,

you know, they would have
ma-- made some judgments

like anybody would, right?

That meant he had to
kinda step it up a notch.

This is the NCAA Division I

Wrestling Championships.

We wanted to help him,

so we went
to the NCAA Wrestling

Championships for
the first time.

When he saw those
men up on the podium...

...I could see him li--
staring like this.

And I looked at him,
and I said, "Ben...

...you belong on that podium."

And he told me...
I could be an All-American.

And I would believe
that I could do it.

He nodded his head
and said, "Yeah, Dad...

but you've gotta pay the price."

We wanted to start
getting him

additional training.

And it just so happened
that Greg Williams

started an Elite Wrestling Club

for the kids
here in Northern Utah.

I said,
"I'm gonna pick ten kids

that wanna get to the
college level.

It doesn't matter how
good they are now,

as long as they work hard."

Ben stood out.

This kid is so hungry. You could
tell by how he wrestled.

But I'm like, "Okay, here are
some things he needs
to work on."

And-- and Ben is not somebody
who you teach him something,

and he just picks
it up super fast.

Ben pounds and
pounds and pounds.

He grinds it out, and he
gets it down by working hard.

I can't count the number
of nights...

I finally had to go in and lock
the wrestling room up

and chase him out to go home

because he'd
still be there working.

I had some high goals.

My parents came to me.

They said they were buying me

a letterman's jacket,

which... was a lot of money.

I remember
telling my parents,

"Mom, Dad...

...I got my last patch I want."

It said "3XSC."

Three-time state champion.

It's one thing
to set a goal

in the corner of your room.

It's another thing to stick
it on your letterman jacket

where everyone
can make fun of you

if you don't reach it, right?

I mean, that was one, you know,

I think Wade and I,
we all kinda like...

Kinda-- you know?

At the time,
it was unheard of to have

a three-time state champion.

It's not shocking
coming from Ben,

confidence that can,
you know, maybe be

misconstrued as
arrogance or-- or cockiness.

3XSC.

I wrote that everywhere.

Just shy of tattooing it
on my forehead.

I started noticing when
he would sign his

bout cards, uh, at tournaments.

Well, he'd sign it,
"Ben Kjar 3XSC."

This is when he was a sophomore.

We've all had doubt,
but I think Ben was just like,

"Hey, I'll show them."

- There's Mom.
- Hi, there.

We're going to Ben and Luke's
wrestling match

in-- at Cottonwood.

Anybody that had any
doubts or any worries,

he took that out of
them by his performance

in an awfully big hurry.

You know, he was a bit
of a Mighty Mouse.

Just the power that
he could produce...

Li-- I re-- literally
remember matches--

kids trying to crawl
off the side of the mat

to get out of bounds, and he's
dragging them back in

and pummeling them.

He wrestled violently.

When he got on the mat,
I would think, "Ben, be nice."

Because he was
a fierce wrestler,

there were coaches that
said, "I don't want my kids

to wrestle against him.

We don't wanna, you know,
give them

traumatic experiences."

Guys saying, "What weight
is Ben Kjar wrestling?

Okay, I'm gonna go
to a different weight

'cause I don't wanna wrestle."

That was how dominant he was.

It was so fun to finally shine.

Prep wrestling took
center stage in Utah

at this week's state
tournament.

The reigning champions,
Layton High School,

prevailed against an
underwhelming performance

from challenger Viewmont High.

One bright spot, though,
for the Vikings

was sophomore Ben Kjar,

who won his very
first state title,

dominating that
103-pound division,

Ben was, like, the first
state champion that we'd had

in a long time.

His popularity was,
like, through the roof.

Viewmont
High Homecoming King, Ben Kjar.

Everywhere we went, there
was a line ten people deep

of wanting to say hi to him.

We'd always make the joke
like, "Let's go get our number

and stand in line so
we can say hi to Ben."

And then all of
a sudden, the cutest
girls in school

were, "Oh, Ben!" You know,
they'd give them big hugs.

And like, "You're the best." And

me and my buddies were
like, "Oh, man, he's-- dude,

he's getting a hug from her?
Like, this is crazy."

I was stealing girlfriends
one match at a time.

I'm just kidding.

Eventually, we learned the news
had gotten hold of the story.

Wrestling is a sport where it's
difficult

to hide any weaknesses.

When a soft spot is
found, a savvy opponent

should, and normally
will, capitalize.

I was so excited for
this to be going out.

Like, oh, my gosh.

They filmed all the posters on
my walls where it said 3XSC,

and they filmed me.

This is crazy.

And then the night that it's
supposed to air, it comes on.

On the mat, Viewmont's best
wrestler gives other wrestlers

very little compensation.

And it's of me wrestling.

But the filming was
of me neck down,

and I'm like,
"What are they doing?

He doesn't even know
how to hold a camera."

And then all of a
sudden, I... realized why.

Viewmont wrestler,
Ben Kjar,

had a lifetime
to make excuses.

They moved in to my face...

...and it was like...

...slow motion,

and, like,
"This is what he looks like.

Look at him."

It's a weakness.

All the camera angles
were really close up.

Like, look at this freak, right?

I felt like I was being mocked.

I-- I didn't like it at all.

I was so afraid that
people in my school saw it.

I even thought about not
going to school the next day.

I'm like, "I'm not going.

I don't wanna show my face."

I go into my class the next day,

and I sit in the back of the
room, and I just kinda sit there

with my head down.

I didn't want anybody to mention
what happened the night before.

And I looked up.

My teacher, Mrs. Haslam,
rolled open this whiteboard,

and on the back whiteboard,
she had written 3XSC.

And I...

...didn't know what to say.

I r-- remember
thinking, "That's awesome.

There's a kid who knows
what he wants to achieve

and has all the tools and
discipline to make it happen."

And she said,
"Ben, I watched last night.

Thanks for putting yourself
out there, and just know

that we're all rooting for you."

In a moment of
complete self-doubt,

she completely changed
the perspective.

We felt like there's
literally nothing

that could stop him.

He was that dominant.

And the next year,
everyone had cleared out

at my weight
at 112 pounds the entire year.

It was a cakewalk.

I'm like,
"3XSC, easy, green light!"

Ben was wrestling at 112.

I was 119, and Ben
decided he was gonna

go back to this tournament.

It was called the
Beast of the East.

It was the same time during
the Viewmont Invitational.

The 119 class was tougher.

Zac tried it. He wrestled down

because nobody was there.

He did really well.
I think he won the tournament.

When I came back,
he had dropped weight,

and he was like,
"Hey, I wanna wrestle here."

I was not as strong
mentally as Ben.

So at 112, I have
a better chance.

The thing is,
it might just be a

five-pound gap between weights.

But I'm telling you, u--
unless you have wrestled,

y-- you don't realize
that that five pounds

might as well be 1000.

I knew how much Ben
weighed because I'd

had him on the scales.

He probably
could have made 103.

Like, nobody does this.

Nobody says,
"Hey, you know what?

I think it's better for the
team if I wrestle up a weight,"

and really take a significant
risk that that

three-time state champion patch
wouldn't come true.

And I said, "Do you
wanna have a wrestle off

and just... stay down and say,

'Hey,
I'm staying at this weight?'"

And it was almost as if

he went and looked at me
and goes,

"Wipe off the crybaby face."

You know, kinda, "Where's
the challenge?

Where's the challenge in that?"

And the very next tournament...

...he got beat by a bigger kid
that was wrestling 119

that probably
came down from 130.

That was his first high school
loss in the state at that point.

And then I took a second loss.

I'm like, "What am I doing?"

We all went, "Oh, my goodness."

And when he came
home that night,

he says, "Dad, he was so big.

And I felt like I was
wrestling Goliath."

And everyone was, like,
starting to question,

"Was this the right move?"

I knew, like, if he ended
up losing that year,

that he would probably--

I don't know. I don't know if
he'd resent me,

but that-- that thought
did cross my mind.

It was amazing to see how

he came back from that.

He didn't cry about it.

He didn't throw a fit about it.

He just got better.

Every single lunch break,
every single moment of freedom,

where I had a little
bit of a choice,

I was found doing
whatever I could

to have
a different outcome at state.

I remember being at
home, and my brother came
home.

He said, "Hey, Ben Kjar
is out doing sprints

on Main Street at midnight.
What is he doing?"

However,
when he made the decision

to go up a weight class,
that put him

on the same side
of the bracket at state

as this Sullivan kid
from Brighton.

Tall drink of water. I think
he was almost six feet tall.

In order to get to
the state finals,

we gotta go through
Sullivan in the semis.

This guy had starved

down 20 pounds.

Two totally different
builds, both wrestling

in the same weight class here.

That is a coaching nightmare.

I-- I was a little nervous,
quite honestly.

For so many reasons, I thought,

"Ben, you're not gonna
beat Sullivan."

And I remember the match
just being, like,

very, very close.

- Shoot. Come on.
- This is it, this is it.

- This is yours, Ben.
- Come on, go!

They got into overtime,

and the guy got into his legs

and was taking Ben down.

Sudden death.

Clear mind, clear mind, Ben.

This is yours.

They started rolling.

Reach deep, Ben.
That's it, Ben. Yes!

As he was rolling
through that, he could see
his 3XSC.

He was reaching for it,
going for it,

and he wanted to grab it.

That's it, Ben. That's it.

Reach deep, Ben. That's it.

I don't know how it happened.

I don't know how he did it.

He's on top.

Ben came out on top.

All right! All right!

Pin him! Pin him!

Pin him! Pin him!

All right!

All right!

Woo!

All right!

Ben!

Woo!

Walking off the mat, he says,
"See, Coach? I was okay."

Woo! All right, Ben.

Great job!

After that, I think,
in Ben Kjar's mind,

there wasn't a
human on the planet

that he couldn't take down.

From Viewmont, Ben Kjar.

In the finals, he
wrestled a kid from Orem...

...and the match
wasn't even close.

That confidence is contagious.

Everybody around him realized,

"Oh, my gosh, we could win

a state championship as a team."

And as we started
the next year, that was

the single focus
and the single goal.

Viewmont High School
had never won a state title.

Bart Thompson had been
there, sacrificing his life

for pennies an hour.

But this was the year.

When you wanna win a
state championship as a team,

you really have to get everybody
to be on the same page.

And how do you get
on that same page?

You have to have a leader.

And everybody else
was like, "Well, I mean,

if he's gonna push that
hard, I've gotta do it, too."

"If Ben can be positive
and set goals,

then I can be positive
and set goals."

He expected everybody to
be as committed as he was,

and that fed...

...everybody in the room.

And that year, we just...

absolutely obliterated everyone,

which was so fun.

After years of
disappointing finishes,

Viewmont High School's
wrestling team

looks to finally win

their very first state
championship

at the 5A
tournament this weekend.

They enter the tournament as
Utah's number one ranked team.

As we go to state,
it's a three-day tournament.

And after day one, Bart
comes up to me, and he says,

"Ben, Viewmont is
having a pep rally.

This is what you have
to tell the school."

And what he told me,
I couldn't believe.

I have the microphone
handed to me,

and I just restate exactly
what my coach had said.

"After day one of
a three-day tournament,

Viewmont Vikings...

...are the 5A 2002

state champions."

And everyone was like, fr--
like, "What-- what's going on?"

Confused.

We had gained so many points

that it was impossible for
anybody to catch up.

We broke every record.

Which meant that for
the next two days, the kids

could wrestle for fun...

...and they did.

The 3XSC was a spark plug.

Put it out there, pay
the price, and go for it.

I was just as proud of them
as I could possibly be.

It was something
that they had earned.

This is Talkin' Sports.

Don't mess with
Viewmont senior Ben Kjar.

Kjar led his Vikings to their
first ever state team title

and is now looking ahead.

I've talked to some of the
top colleges in the nation,

and that would be awesome.

He's going to be an incredible
asset to whatever program

he ends up with.

Every big wrestling
school in the country

was trying to recruit him.

But at the same
time in high school,

I kept pushing back my surgery.

And if you can imagine how
much the structure of your face

changes through puberty...

I looked... really different.

I knew that I had to have it.

I just wasn't functioning--

I-- I couldn't breathe at night.

Ben needed surgery

to help reconstruct
the mid-face.

We presented the procedure,

what needed to be done at
that point in time.

Doctors were telling me,
"You gotta do it

in multiple different
surgeries,

and you need to wear a halo
around your head."

This device still
requires surgery,

but then instead of
moving it all at one time,

we do it by moving the
face incrementally.

I'm like, "Man, we did all these
surgeries before in one go.

Cut my head open.
Why can't we do that again?"

But what shocked me
the most is he said,

"I don't know if you
can ever wrestle again."

I'm very aware of the
time frame of doing surgery

and what is best in
terms of their activities.

If you want it fixed, you can't
go back into the same activity

that you were doing before.

He wasn't given any options.

Do you want your
face fixed or not?

I was afraid that once
I have that surgery,

this dream would be gone.

So after telling them,
"I need to have surgeries,"

many of the schools backed off.

There was only one
recruiter left.

We were going to the
Kjar home to recruit Ben.

I'm from a family of seven kids,

and I think Ben's, like,

from a family
of maybe two, 300?

With the surgery,
I introduced to him

the concept of a grayshirt.

You can actually come
for a year of training,

and it does not count
against your eligibility.

It helps you prepare.

It's a tremendous advantage.

And then what happened
was it was a package deal

because Luke decided
to come as well.

It was just such a
perfect match for me.

Right after we got to Oklahoma,
my older brother Luke,

he had a little bit of
an underbite as well,

and he just wanted to fix it.

And Luke goes into this
appointment with this doctor.

I was talking to the
doctor and I told him

just briefly about what
Ben was dealing with.

He was, like, so intrigued
by the challenge.

And my brother says, "Hey, Ben,

the doctor wants to meet you."

And they looked at
him, and they said,

"I think we can do something
totally different."

"And we can get you back on
the mat before you know it.

You can absolutely
wrestle again."

Today's my surgery day.

There you go.

When they took the bandages
off, we just sat there in awe.

Son... you look wonderful.

You see him look at his
face and go, "I'm done.

I'm-- I'm released."

It was an answer to our
prayers.

After all the surgeries, I'm
like, "Oh, man, like,
he looks great."

But Ben's face,
my whole life, that was--

that was happiness to me.

I'm happy for him,
but I-- I miss that face.

After my surgeries, I was
given three years to heal.

Staying off the mat as much
as I could, it wasn't easy.

I loved Oklahoma.

I wanted no more than to just
go back and fill in the spot.

Jack Spates shaking hands.

They know they have
another national champion.

Coming back after the surgery,

I'm hesitant in that because

it's really hard,

when a guy's been away
from wrestling,

to come back.

And so we didn't go that route.

So what do I do?

I prayed about it, and I
felt like I should really

look at going to Boise State.

It's close to home.

There's a Division I program.
I believe

they were, like,
top ten in the country.

And so I verbally
committed to Boise State.

And literally, the next day...
we get a call.

Utah Valley's wrestling
team announced Greg Williams

as their new coach today.

My club coach has
taken over a program

that I never knew was an option.

I mean, at the time,
it was a junior college.

But UVSC is about to become
Utah Valley University.

Yesterday, state
lawmakers approved

giving university status to
the, now, Division I school.

Utah Valley jumped directly
from junior college

to Division I.
My wrestling program was

really young at the time.

We needed Ben, who could come
in and change the culture

and kinda show the rest
of our wrestlers

that they can compete
on the national scene.

But in that jump, they were
given a provisional status.

That means the wrestling
team can compete against D1,

but they can't go post-season,

so you don't get
that opportunity

to be an All-American
or national champion.

So for Ben to come
here, it meant two years

where he couldn't
go to nationals.

The first time that
I could go to nationals

would be my junior year.

They didn't even have
a wrestling room.

I would have to haul in
mats and haul them back out

and wash them, like,

worse than I was in junior high.

Why would I do that?

Ben's driving home from Boise.

I get a call.
And he says, "Yeah,

after, you know,
visiting and stuff,

I decided I'm gonna
go to Boise."

And he says, "Ben, I totally
get it, I totally understand."

I said, "Hey, Greg--"

I'm like, "What if I told
you I was lying to you?"

The Wolverines announced their
most impressive recruit yet.

Ben Kjar of Viewmont joins
as Utah Valley makes a jump

into Division I competition.

I don't know...

...how many
people really understand...

...the sacrifice...

that that was for him,
because he knew...

that he could
go to nationals his first year.

It's not like he
didn't believe that.

I felt like
Utah Valley University

was the place for me to go,

and I don't know why.

We ended up with 17 guys
living in two houses,

so the wrestling team was super
close from the very beginning.

We were living in the
house.

So one of the
rules of this house

was there's no
alcohol in the house,

and this was a
time where I-- I drank.

I was not doing good at all.

Like-- It was, like,
taking my medicine.

I was, like, self-medicating.

And, uh, I remember I drank,
and I was in the house.

And Ben came home, and he knew.

I thought I was gonna
get kicked out or whatever.

And that's the last
thing on planet Earth

I needed, you know,
it was, like, someone to

sit down here and lecture you
about drinking.

I'm not a dummy.
I know I shouldn't be drinking.

I'll never forget what he did.

He sat there,
and he was a friend.

And he asked me questions

because I needed someone
to talk to.

He never shunned me.

He never condemned me.
He never kicked me out
of the house.

And he never said anything
about it after that.

That's, like, one of the
moments, I think, in my life

where I'm like,

"I'll go to war for Ben.

Like, Ben is-- he is a friend."

He was the face of the
university immediately.

Everybody wanted
to be around Ben.

I ran track at Utah
Valley University.

I had seen pictures
of Ben before.

His poster was always
posted around the halls

in the athletic program.

I just wanted to be his friend.

I just wanted to be around him.

You'd see him on banners.

You'd see him on magazines.

He was on billboards.

Ben was the man,
the myth, and the legend.

And everybody liked
themselves best

when they were with Ben Kjar.

But on the mat, Ben had
that tenacious, gritty,

like, "I'm here to just rip your
soul out" type of mentality.

Our first wrestling match,

Ben pins his opponent in, like,
20 seconds,

before people have
e-- even sat down yet.

There was an absolute
mutiny of fans.

So from that point on, we
always wrestled Ben last,

to make sure that every
single fan had a chance

to come and watch the guy
that they came to watch.

That year,
as a freshman, I led...

...the entire country in most
wins,

over the entire NCAA Division I.

But then to go to nationals

and sit on my butt in
the chair in the stadium

and watch guys I
competed against...

I'm like, "I should be there."

And then the next year,
same thing.

Beating guys that were going.

I'm like, "What am I doing?

Why did I come here?"

I had a thing on Facebook
pop up that said,

you might know Ben K-jar."

I didn't even know how
to say his last name.

But I said,

"Yes, I want to know him.

Add Friend."

The next day he
messaged me, and then he

invited me to hang out with
some friends at this party.

And she said,
"Well, that depends.

Is this a date...

I was so nervous,

but I'm like, "You know what?

I'ma take a shot."

We had so much fun on this date.

We played racquetball.

And when she beat
me in racquetball,

I knew that I either hated
this girl or I loved this girl.

Well, I remember sitting
in the car looking over

at him, just super giddy, and
we laughed so much that day.

Going home that
night, I'm like, "Wow,

I don't know where she's going,
but she's going somewhere

that I wanna be."

That night,
I wrote in my journal,

"I think I'm in love with
pocket-sized Hercules."

He was nothing like
anybody I'd ever dated.

And from there on out,
we just were inseparable.

I was just beaming.

I was on cloud nine.

There was a little
caveat, though.

I had been planning
to move to Italy

and live abroad for
a couple of years.

It was my dream.

And then I met Ben.

I was supposed
to leave really soon.

And I had no idea.

And I knew I was in trouble...

...but I was afraid.

Could she really love me?

Especially if that meant raising
kids that looked like me.

We were spending some time
together,

talking things through, trying
to figure out what to do.

I said, listen...
this is a serious... thing.

Our kids, if we
have them, naturally

are gonna be born
with Crouzon syndrome.

You know, I'm not gonna lie,

I really had to think,
"Is this something

that I'm capable of handling?

'Cause it's gonna
take a strong person."

I needed to know what
Crouzon syndrome... was.

You go look it up
on the internet.

And it can be scary.

What it could mean for our kids,
for our family, our lifestyle,

our dreams.

And it was like this
big, dark cloud...

literally had settled
into my mind.

I was just a mess.
I was not sure.

And then I started
to think about Ben.

I remembered that
first time seeing Ben.

I remembered what I felt.

And it brought back a memory

that from a very young age...

...I had always felt...

...like... God had
a calling for me...

...that was
different than the path

that I would typically choose.

I didn't know what it was.
I just...

...had a feeling there
was gonna be something

different about my family.

And when I remembered that,

it was like that dark cloud
lifted...

...and I could see everything.

What my life with
him would be like.

I knew exactly what my
answer needed to be.

She said, "If our kids are
gonna have Crouzon syndrome,

well, then, Ben, who better
to raise them than us?"

At that moment I realized,
"Oh, my gosh, I could be loved."

So the day before she
was supposed to leave,

I asked for her
hand in marriage,

and we went to her house
and told her parents.

It had been a lot of
work to get LaCol ready

to go to Italy.

We were waiting for
her to come home

so we could send her
off the next morning.

Ben comes in the house,

and the only thing I could
think of is,

"That's funny.
I don't know why they're here."

Well, I just kind of--

Yeah, I wondered...

He was just a good friend
coming

to wish her...

...whatever.

I didn't really know
a thing about Ben.

And then they said,
"We decided

that we're gonna get married."

It was a real shock.

I didn't know she
was dating anybody.

I had a feeling Ben
was a good person.

I think that helped me
accept what was going on.

But I was concerned
about my wife.

I think he thought
I'd be so happy.

But she was not happy...

...and I don't blame her at all.

This interesting looking guy
comes in, being a complete bozo

and dropping this on
them without any warning.

My mom is the kindest
person you'll ever meet.

What happened next
was so unlike her.

I've never seen her
be unkind to anyone.

But when we told
her, she flipped out.

I was already
stressed out with some

family stuff going on.

LaCol had always
been my easy kid.

She always made
the right choices.

So I was so mad.

If he wants to marry my daughter
so bad, why couldn't he wait?

So I thought the worst.

Is she pregnant?

Is she-- whatever.

But I did not handle it good.

I just blew up.

She got up

in front of Ben's face,
and she let him have it.

♪ Oh, baby sister, we know
That God's got mercy ♪

♪ But not enough to
Waste on men like him ♪

I felt like I had to protect him

and physically
stand between them.

I have never in my
life seen someone

take such a verbal beating.

And Ben just stood there.

It hurt him for a
really long time.

Not all of us

do things

exactly
as we should all the time.

Sometimes good people
have a bad day.

♪ Sister, put away your guns ♪

♪ You said it
In your own words ♪

♪ He'll pay for
What he's done ♪

They planned their
wedding really soon...

...and I could see how
happy they were.

And it made me realize my
reaction was stupid and bad.

I apologized to Ben
as good as I could.

We all wish we would have done

something a little
bit different.

Uh--

I'm just grateful...

...he is
such a forgiving person.

He's a wonderful son-in-law,
and we love him to death.

He fits in with our
family perfectly.

It was a really awful
experience for us to go through.

But as you go through
hard times together,

you grow closer together.

And that wasn't the worst
of what we would face.

We are in Omaha
for Division I wrestling.

It was my junior year,

and I was
finally getting my opportunity.

And I go into nationals--

No, no, no, no, no.

What happened?
Guys, what happened?

And I lose to two
kids I'd beat that year.

Yeah, he's done. That's it.

I was absolutely
depressed,

pointing fingers at other people
and coaches

and training partners,
and "Who else?" Right?

With everything we were
dealing with and now this,
it was like,

"Is there a reason that God
is having us go through this?

Like, I know there's a reason."

Why?

Why?

I wanted to pack
up and go home.

But before I could...

...a friend of mine
stopped by the wrestling room.

I was done wrestling,
and the reality is is...

...I was disgusted with
myself and my decisions, and

I hated myself.

I made every mistake
there was to make

along the whole entire way.

And I think that's why it was
so heavy on me.

It's 'cause it's all my fault.

I know what it feels like
to not accomplish the goal.

And then actually having
to live with that.

Like, it's a horrible feeling.

And I was like, "I need to do
whatever I can do to help him."

We went at it for
a couple of days,

drilling, wrestling.

And he barked in
my ear the entire time,

"The Ben Kjar
that I know doesn't opt out.

The Ben Kjar that
I know rebounds.

The Ben Kjar that I
know continues forward."

Look, man, you gotta,
like, buck up.

This is do or die, like,
I'm telling you right now,

I know what this feels like.

And if you don't
place this year,

it is gonna chew you up
the rest of your life.

I want Ben to win.
I want him to win in life.

I want him to win
in his marriage.

I want him to win in everything.

Something changed...

...and I just started believing.

This was my last shot.

Who could stop me?

All right.

My name is Anthony Robles.

I was born missing my leg.

I've been on crutches
since I can remember.

My mom tried to get me
to use a prosthetic leg, but

it was really heavy,
really hard to move around.

I felt like it slowed me
down in a lot of ways.

Getting into wrestling,
I was very much

at a disadvantage
at the beginning.

I said, "Okay, you know,
we just have to figure it out.

We just have to treat
this like a puzzle."

My coach and I were trying
to create a whole new style

of wrestling from scratch.

Going into the NCAA
tournament my senior year,

I was the number one seed,
and I was undefeated.

Welcome to
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,

where tonight, the nation's
best collegiate athletes will

compete for a national title.

In the wrestling
world, NCAA All-American

is like the pinnacle
of the sport.

It is the toughest tournament
in the planet to place that,

to be honest with you.

And there's 20,000 people

watching you and screaming

and hollering,
and it's like the best

of the best... of the best.

Because I'd lost to guys

that I should
never have lost to,

I went into nationals unranked.

His path to get on that podium?

That was a very
loaded weight class.

You have an undefeated
wrestler seeded fourth.

The fifth seed becomes a
four-time All-American.

That's who he had to go
through to be an All-American.

My first match was with
the guy from Hofstra,

and I think he ate, like,
rocks in the morning.

This dude was bad.

Takedown,
and Kjar is in control.

And I got through him, beat him.

And then I'd go into the
next match against a kid

from Old Dominion. Undefeated.

Top four in the country.

Tall, strong.

That was a nail biter,

but Ben Kjar is going to win
this match.

And I beat him.

The unranked person
beat the undefeated guy.

It was the best
he's looked, ever.

He wrestled every
single match exactly how

he needed to wrestle
those matches.

I come out in the quarterfinals.

Utah Valley never
had an All-American.

And if I win this match,

the unranked kid

would be an All-American.

But I had to beat Zach Sanders
from Minnesota, who was

a multiple-time All-American.

Bad dude, short, stocky,
mean, fast, had heavy hands.

I'd never beat him.

Earlier in the year,
we wrestled him.

Ben was trying to
do his rotation,

that he was trying to do
off bottom to get an escape.

And Sanders kept bumping
him off and bumping him off,

so he kept having to get back
to his hands, back to his hands.

And he just kept doing that.

We got ridden out
for the two minutes,

so we lost 2 to 0.

Fast forward to nationals...
same scenario.

All we needed to
do when he was--

kept bumping and
bumping and bumping

was just... slide with it.

Ben does that.

He got out, and that's
where it changed.

Kjar with the takedown.

Sanders is stunned.

Took him down twice
in that period.

That was the match.

Utah Valley University's
first ever All-American,

and I was a bracket-buster.

ESPN SportsCenter was saying,
"He's shattering the brackets.

This kid from Utah Valley
University-- who is this kid?"

Out of nowhere, Ben Kjar has
erupted into the semifinals.

I started to believe that maybe
I could be a national champion.

And just like that,
Anthony Robles

gets a one-point escape.

Going into the
semis, I was rolling.

They were pretty
convincing wins.

Robles was a monster on
the mat, and he dominated

almost everybody he wrestled.

Once again,
Robles is an All-American.

This guy is probably
six feet tall,

and you're talking about
the length of 170-pounder.

But in reality, because
he didn't have a leg, he...

qualified at 125 pounds.

When he started
wrestling, people would say,
"Well...

he can't
do anything with one leg."

And I didn't recruit him out
of high school,

you know,
for that reason.

But at the end of it,

they were saying,
"Well, he's got an advantage.

Look how big he is.

He's got an advantage
with one leg."

Yeah, my friend, you
hack off your leg

and see how well you do.

Congratulations to Anthony Robles.

He'll move on to face Ben Kjar.

I knew it was gonna
be a tight match.

You don't train your whole life

to beat a wrestler
with only one leg.

Going into the
semis against Ben,

you're one match away
from punching your ticket

into the finals.

So that round brings a
lot of pressure with it.

And it's on ESPN live.

The crowd's going insane.

And then on top of that,
it was-- we were friends.

Anthony is, like,
one of my heroes.

I've known Anthony
for a long time.

Ben and I had been

competing against each other
since true freshman year.

Him and I wrestled back
and forth, and I had beat him

and he had beat me.

He was wrestling similar
challenges that I was wrestling.

Woo!

I expected a battle.

And here we go.

The semifinals are underway.

It was the poster child
against the Cinderella story.

After one period, we
are still scoreless here.

You see these
two men come on the mat,

and you know that there's
nothing but character

going head to head here.

Kjar has been unable to get an
escape in the second period.

It was extremely close
from start to finish.

Robles gets an escape...

...and now there's a takedown.

Robles goes up 3-0.

Both of us left our
heart on that mat

and fought to the very end.

And now Kjar gets an escape.

It's 3-1, Robles.

It came down to a last scramble.

Kjar can tie it up
with a takedown here.

Right at the end, you know,
Ben's shooting,

and you kinda see that extra

umph.

Kjar gets the takedown.

Oh, but it's after the whistle.

No overtime.

This one is over.

If we had had five more
seconds in the match,

he would have tied it,
sent it into overtime.

It was that close.

I gave him the closest
match he had in that tournament,

but... he had a better match.

When you lose in
tight situations like that.

It can be heartbreaking.
There's poor sports.

You know, there's guys that
throw tantrums.

There's guys that just
slap your hand

and walk away.

Ben-- You know, I just
remember I could--

I could see the pain in
his face...

...but he was still so gracious,
even in that moment of a defeat.

You know,
he still shook my hand.

I remember we hugged
afterwards, and...

...Ben, to me, is an example
of what a true champion is.

You know, like, yeah,
it's-- it's easy to win

and be gracious,

but, you know,
how do you handle a loss?

As he was walking off the
mat, everybody's cheering.

And my sister says to me,

"Why are they cheering
that he lost?"

I said, "Honey...

...they weren't
cheering that he lost.

They were cheering the
magnificence...

...of his performance."

It was amazing.

Fans at the NCAA tournament,
they get it,

and the respect that was
there was-- was incredible.

It was hard for me
to lose my last match,

and it didn't sit well with me.

But I tried to forget
it and celebrate

the victory of being Utah
Valley University's first ever

All-American.

My greatest memory is being able
to hear the PA announcer say

"Ben Kjar is Utah Valley
University's first

NCAA All-American."

From Utah Valley University,

All-American, Ben Kjar.

The first
All-American from Utah...

That really, for the first
time, put Utah Valley University

on the map on a national scale.

You're stoked. You're
happy for him, you know? Like--

It's almost like we won.

When he wins, we win
'cause he's a friend.

And this is
the wonder of sport, right?

You say, "Well, they can't
do that," and then they do.

It opened up a lot
of doors for others

that may have questioned,
"Well, can I do this?"

W-- Well, Anthony did.

Well, Ben did.

It's just the things of
what dreams are made of.

The respect that
I have for Ben.

The ability to--

It isn't winning.
It's achieving.

You belong on that podium.

We were on a family
vacation, all of us.

Ben and LaCol-- one night,
they just went out and said,

"We gotta go out for a walk."

I had a couple of our
kids say, "Is Ben okay?"

Something's going on.

You know, something is wrong.

Those years after
the NCAA tournament

were a really hard
time in our marriage.

We decided that we
would start our family.

And... it didn't come so easy.

It was eight years that
we tried to have kids.

We got some doctors
involved eventually,

and... we did
four rounds of IVF.

And with two of those rounds,
we had pregnancies happen.

And about week ten of the
pregnancies,

we lost the baby.

It was... emotionally draining.

And then we decided
we'll try adoption.

We decided not to tell anybody.

We don't wanna have
people be like, "Oh, poor you,

poor you,"
and feel like victims, right?

So nobody in my family even knew
about the miscarriage,

let alone the adoption.

I was so nervous
going into these

adoption agencies.

You would be
expected to fill out

this application with pictures
of you, of what you look like.

What if they wouldn't choose
us because I look different?

But after we had put
in our application,

we had a birth mother
immediately matched with us.

And she was pregnant
with a beautiful girl.

Every month, we would be
paying for her housing and all

her expenses.

And then after
the last payment...

...we'd find out
through an email

that she would keep the baby.

Later, we were matched
with another birth mom.

And for six months,
we were so excited,

paying her every month for room
and board and living expenses.

And then she stopped showing
up to the medical appointments.

We would find out that she
was placing the same baby girl

with two other families,

and she
was financially triple-dipping.

We were tons of money out.

♪ They'll take
Everything you have ♪

♪ And dress you up in red ♪

That was one
of the hardest things

I ever went through...

...because now I had someone
else who was involved,

who was a part of this
journey that seemed to be,

like... never-ending fails.

♪ You'll think of
What you've done ♪

♪ Of what you have become ♪

My wife just pounded on
my chest and just bawled.

We were complaining to each
other about the frustrations

and the anger and
how mad we were.

We would look up to God
and say, "God, why us?"

It just felt like we
were living a nightmare.

And literally, the next
morning we get a call.

"Hey, Ben and LaCol, how
would you like to be parents?

There's a baby boy.

He was actually
born last night."

It was incredible
to hear those words.

Of course.
Of course, we want that boy.

Fifteen hours later,
from phone call to touch down...

...we're parents.

She hands me this baby.

He's the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.

And we just couldn't believe it.

And the best part was my family
has no clue

at this point, right?

This is absolutely nuts.

When we came home, we were
able to surprise our families.

They knew nothing
about the adoption.

We get the whole
family at this dinner.

We're all chatting, and then
there's a knock, knock, knock.

There's another
thing at the door?

- What is it?
- Uh, that's a baby.

There's a little baby
boy on our front porch.

No, it isn't.

It's a baby.

- No, it isn't.
- What is happening?

We're saying, "What is this?"

- Who brought this baby?
- No.

As we're looking
around, kinda frantic,

trying to figure this out,

we see a different look

on Ben and LaCol's face.

Ben, Ben.

- Ben, is this yours?
- Ben.

No. Is this yours?

Are you serious?

And it was like the floodgates
opened, of joy, of tears,

of gratitude.

This prayer has been answered.

Of course, we thought
that was the surprise.

And then, as we were
loving on this little baby

and asking all these questions

and crying and giving
gratitude...

...there's another doorbell.

No, you gotta be kidding.

No!

Right after we'd signed
the papers to adopt Liam,

the adoption director says,

"I just barely
got off the phone...

...with another birth mom.

Baby girl.

What do you think?"

Oh, my gosh.

To top it off with a second
one, you see my wife go crazy.

A girl.

When you pray so long
for something to happen,

when God delivers...

...He really delivers.

Ben has always dreamed
about being a father,

and he loves being a father.

LaCol loves being a mom.

It was one of those days that
you'll never, ever forget.

We had created a
video of the surprise.

Initially, it was just
supposed to be for us.

Well, it ended up
kinda going viral.

This is, in my opinion, the
greatest baby reveal ever made.

I love this video.

People from all over the
world were so inspired by it.

There are beautiful things
going on in this world

that you would think
are impossible,

but they are happening.

Of course, with any video,

you'll get some negative
things that are said.

These comments
were all new to me.

I had never been bullied before.

To have someone say these
mean horrible things

about my husband, the person
that I love the most...

It--

A-- At first, I'd get angry.

I wanted to hide.

I wanted to react with
anger and resentment.

I tried to laugh it off,
but I couldn't.

What would you do in

this scenario
for this person that

just said this?

What would your response be?

When you're backed
against a wall of hate...

...what are you gonna choose?

Finally, I responded
back to a comment

from a kid I'd never met.

I never expected to
hear back from him.

Five years later, he reached
out to me on social media,

and that moment changed my life.

It showed me, instead of

you know,
calling people "round face"

or running away or laughing
it off, I can be me.

I am enough.

And all that
I'm meant to be is me.

One of the women that
wrote something very mean,

she wrote back and said,

"My son's name was Liam,

and he passed away.

When I read about you getting
a baby and his name was Liam,"

she said, "I exploded."

And she said,
"The way that you responded

changed my life.

And I have, since then,
been trying to...

...be that person that
you told me I should be."

It's happened so many times.

People will come back, and
you'll see that change.

Recently,
Ben and I were able to take

my mom to a retreat for kids
with craniofacial differences.

She was loving on these kids,

loving on them.

And they were able to
feel her love to be there.

You just have so much
love for those kids.

Looking in their face,
it's like looking at angels.

I have such good
people in my corner.

Life is full of a
bunch of choices.

We can make excuses,
or we can just...

chew the excuses up
and swallow 'em

and never
let them leave our mouth.

And we can keep going and
doing the hard things.

And then you end up like Ben.

I still think about that
story at the Pool of Bethesda...

...but it's different now.

I'm no longer the man who waits.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my goodness.

I can't believe we
fell for this twice.

And that is going to do it

for All-American, Ben Kjar.

He finishes fourth overall.

Sixty-seven.

Go, Dad!

Oh!

Yeah, Ben!

Tani Taufa has autism.

It makes it tough for him
to communicate,

especially in social situations.

Then he found wrestling.

Roll it. Nice. Good job.

He started training
with coach, Ben Kjar.

There's just that
inner understanding of,

"I got your back 'cause I know
you've been where I've been."

It felt like good things
are finally

gonna come to me in my life,
alongside Ben.

When I was younger,
watching TV, all the villains

had scars and deformities
and everything.

They portray us as
monsters, ugly, unworthy.

Like, I didn't
think I had a place.

Ben-- he's a representation
for the whole community

to create dreams or
create goals for yourself.

I know that he's able to do it.

Why can I not do it?

I was born to stand out!

I was born to stand out!

I was born to stand out!

- Stand out!
- Stand out!

- Stand out!
- Stand out!

- Stand out!
- Stand out!

- Stand out!
- Stand out!

- Stand out!
- Stand out!