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NARRATOR:
Previously on Pushing Daisies:
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Who the hell are you?
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Dwight Dixon. I was a friend
of your father's 25 years ago.
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00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:11,290
-I'm actually trying to find him.
-I'm afraid we lost touch.
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00:00:11,460 --> 00:00:13,800
I haven't seen
or heard from the man in 20 years.
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00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,510
I'm here for something:
a common brass pocket watch.
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Looked a lot like this one,
which is mine.
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I don't recall a pocket watch.
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00:00:20,470 --> 00:00:24,060
Charlotte's father, my lover,
was Vivian's fiancé.
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-You're a home-wrecker too!
-Vivian can never know.
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00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,690
I'm not gonna say anything to Vivan
about what you did.
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00:00:29,860 --> 00:00:33,520
-Don't come for me, fella. I fight dirty.
-Why'd you fake your death?
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00:00:33,690 --> 00:00:35,990
Are you and the Pie-Maker
in cahoots together?
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00:00:36,150 --> 00:00:37,860
I died. He brought me back to life.
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-If you don't wanna tell me, just say so.
-What do you mean, I can't come?
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00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,330
There's a grave out there
that you supposed to be in.
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00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:47,160
People who are dead but not dead
come up against mobs...
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...with pitchforks and torches.
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VIVIAN:
I have a small confession...
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...about Charles' pocket watch.
I do recall it.
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We buried it with our niece,
"Lonely Tourist" Charlotte Charles.
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NARRATOR: There once was a Pie-Maker
who had a gift:
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A touch that brought the dead to life.
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The gift followed these rules:
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Touch a dead thing once: alive.
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Touch a dead thing twice:
dead again, forever.
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Keep a dead thing alive
for more than a minute:
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Something else has to die.
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At this very moment,
at the Longborough School for Boys...
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00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:41,930
...when it came to the currency
of popularity...
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00:01:42,090 --> 00:01:44,930
...young Ned was poor,
but not the poorest.
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00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:47,220
Eugene Mulchandani's thick accent...
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00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:50,980
...and unfortunate family history
of disproportionate jaw structure...
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...made him both extremely difficult
to understand...
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00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,480
...and an easy mark for bullies.
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00:01:56,650 --> 00:02:00,950
Young Ned knew that playing
with Eugene meant losing his marbles...
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00:02:01,110 --> 00:02:04,570
...but he considered the sacrificed
aggies, steelies and shooters...
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00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:07,330
...an act of charity,
for aside from Ned...
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00:02:07,490 --> 00:02:10,000
...Eugene had only two
other companions:
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Bilbo, his lethargic Indian python,
and Ackbar, a bunny.
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00:02:33,651 --> 00:02:35,811
Eugene was devastated
when he learned...
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00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:39,111
...that upon attempting
to eat Ackbar the Bunny...
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...Bilbo the Snake choked,
killing them both.
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00:02:43,111 --> 00:02:45,661
Under the guise
of burying Eugene's pets...
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00:02:45,821 --> 00:02:48,661
...young Ned resolved to perform
another act of charity...
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00:02:48,831 --> 00:02:50,911
...for his language-mangling friend.
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00:02:51,711 --> 00:02:54,171
He knew that giving Eugene
his friends back...
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00:02:54,331 --> 00:02:58,631
...would require
two innocent creatures to die...
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00:03:02,841 --> 00:03:06,841
...and a lie about how he found them
both barely breathing...
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...when he went to bury them.
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But as long as the benefits
outweighed the costs...
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...he also believed an act of charity
outweighed the consequences.
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Twenty years, 16 weeks,
four days and nine hours later...
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00:03:24,661 --> 00:03:27,991
...the boy had grown
into the Pie-Maker...
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00:03:28,161 --> 00:03:31,661
...and the Pie-Maker was,
at this very moment...
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...troubled.
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00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:37,581
-You're stress baking.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
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You've been up since before the sun
and there's a traffic jam of pies.
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00:03:42,881 --> 00:03:43,921
You're worried.
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00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:46,591
"Worried" would imply an urge
toward action.
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00:03:46,761 --> 00:03:48,391
"Troubled" seems more apt.
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00:03:48,551 --> 00:03:50,011
About a man named Dwight...
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00:03:50,181 --> 00:03:53,061
...asking questions about your dad
and is dating my Aunt Vivian?
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00:03:53,231 --> 00:03:54,601
Oh, you're stress baking.
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If he's dating your aunt,
he's going to see a picture.
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00:03:57,561 --> 00:04:00,521
If he doesn't have amnesia,
he's going to recognize you...
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00:04:00,691 --> 00:04:03,191
...if he hasn't already.
Why is he dating your aunt?
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00:04:03,361 --> 00:04:05,901
Not to suggest
that she's not perfectly lovely...
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00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,741
...but it does seem coincidental.
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00:04:07,911 --> 00:04:10,071
Does Vivian's boy toy
have something to do...
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00:04:10,241 --> 00:04:12,081
-...with why you faked your death?
-No.
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00:04:12,241 --> 00:04:15,451
Maybe he's been after you all along.
Maybe he works for the IRS.
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00:04:15,621 --> 00:04:18,421
If anyone can figure out
whether you're dead, it's the taxman.
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00:04:18,581 --> 00:04:22,251
Maybe he thinks you are dead. He's one
of those paranormal investigators.
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00:04:22,421 --> 00:04:24,921
He's the old priest,
and the young priest is coming.
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00:04:25,091 --> 00:04:29,091
That would be a waste of religion,
because she's not dead.
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00:04:29,261 --> 00:04:32,561
-I find myself urged to action.
-Yeah, me too.
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Public records.
We've gotta find out who Dwight is...
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...and if he's after more
than just your aunt's companionship.
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00:04:38,601 --> 00:04:43,151
Counterintelligence via pie delivery:
like gossiping with a purpose.
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00:04:43,321 --> 00:04:45,281
My specialty.
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00:04:47,281 --> 00:04:52,241
-Pie time.
-Olive! What a surprise. And with a pie.
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00:04:52,411 --> 00:04:56,621
-The second-sweetest treat of my day.
-Something sweeter than a Pie Hole pie?
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00:04:56,791 --> 00:05:00,621
The first was a surprise visit
from a certain gentleman caller.
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Oh, the lovely lady of the Hole,
and with a special delivery to heel.
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00:05:05,761 --> 00:05:08,471
No need to stand on my account.
Just here doing my duty.
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00:05:08,631 --> 00:05:10,971
No other reason I can speak of.
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00:05:11,141 --> 00:05:13,301
And what type of duty
are you in again?
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00:05:13,471 --> 00:05:14,931
Clergy? Tax services?
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00:05:15,101 --> 00:05:18,351
Dwight collects
and appraises antiques...
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00:05:18,561 --> 00:05:22,481
...which I learned right after he told me
he's dating my sister.
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00:05:22,651 --> 00:05:25,481
Lily's naturally suspicious
of new liaisons...
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00:05:25,651 --> 00:05:28,531
...but I felt compelled to come clean
about our relationship.
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00:05:28,701 --> 00:05:32,161
Sneaking around is for politicians
in bathroom stalls.
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00:05:32,321 --> 00:05:36,121
Not for a brisk and bucolic
autumn-cum-winter afternoon...
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00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:38,161
...on the park. Ladies.
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OLIVE:
Bye.
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00:05:46,131 --> 00:05:47,961
Seems nice.
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00:05:48,131 --> 00:05:52,801
I don't trust him further than I can spit,
and I can spit.
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00:05:55,891 --> 00:06:00,021
Look at the way
he drapes himself all over her. Ugh!
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Makes me wanna stick a fork
in my eye.
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-I need a drink.
-You're holding one.
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I need a stronger one. And a fork.
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00:06:08,191 --> 00:06:12,861
While Olive pondered one sister blinded
by love and the other by distrust...
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00:06:13,031 --> 00:06:16,411
...Emerson Cod pondered
the exorbitant amount of cash...
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00:06:16,621 --> 00:06:17,831
...he'd just been given.
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I demand justice for the decedent...
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...and I will not rest,
settle or adjourn until I have it!
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00:06:24,541 --> 00:06:27,001
Mind demanding it
in your inside voice?
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00:06:27,172 --> 00:06:30,382
I'm sorry. Years of litigation
have made me a loud talker.
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00:06:30,552 --> 00:06:33,382
What makes a lawyer so willing
to shell out his own green...
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00:06:33,552 --> 00:06:36,182
-...over a client's death?
-I have a special practice.
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00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:39,722
Gustav was my one client,
and that client is now dead.
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00:06:39,892 --> 00:06:43,232
So why you still hanging on?
Looking for a few stray cash capillaries?
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00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:47,272
No. Gustav was more than a client.
He was a....
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00:06:47,442 --> 00:06:50,732
He was a cantankerous bombast
with a violent temper...
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...and a lust for power and wealth.
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In lawyer speak.
I was in love with him.
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00:06:57,872 --> 00:06:59,792
You talk to the police
about your friend?
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00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:02,412
The police station is run
by a bunch of monkeys.
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00:07:02,582 --> 00:07:04,422
You want the best,
you pay the premium.
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00:07:04,582 --> 00:07:06,082
Why ain't the family paying?
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00:07:06,252 --> 00:07:09,252
His wife was his family,
and she was the biggest leech of all.
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Always after his will.
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So she got to the will
through murder?
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00:07:12,762 --> 00:07:14,592
Well, I never trusted her.
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00:07:14,762 --> 00:07:16,432
I tried my best, as a lover--
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00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:19,762
I mean, as a lawyer and a friend,
to protect Gustav.
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00:07:19,932 --> 00:07:23,482
She ruined his life.
She's gonna ruin his legacy.
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00:07:23,692 --> 00:07:26,602
I smell a big old "but"
heading in my direction.
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00:07:26,772 --> 00:07:28,812
Gustav was robbed the night he died.
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00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,112
It happens
when you have a fortune like his.
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00:07:31,282 --> 00:07:36,202
-What kind of fortune we talking about?
-The kind built upon your tight balls.
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00:07:36,742 --> 00:07:38,242
The facts were these:
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00:07:38,412 --> 00:07:41,332
Gustav Hofer
had lived the American dream.
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00:07:41,492 --> 00:07:44,502
His mechanized yarn-baller
not only gave a generation...
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00:07:44,712 --> 00:07:48,132
...of frustrated grandmothers
the means to make unwanted gifts...
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00:07:48,292 --> 00:07:51,802
...at the age of 19,
it was the first of countless inventions...
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00:07:51,962 --> 00:07:55,302
...that made Gustav Hofer
his first of countless millions.
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00:07:55,472 --> 00:07:58,142
Before Gustav Hofer
could make one penny more...
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00:07:58,302 --> 00:08:01,972
...someone arranged
for his permanent retirement...
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00:08:07,772 --> 00:08:13,652
...and the lawyer who was in love
with him found his retired remains.
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00:08:16,492 --> 00:08:19,952
-He doesn't look like the richest man.
-They say he had the Midas touch.
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00:08:20,122 --> 00:08:23,542
You're a little bit like King Midas,
except substitute life for gold...
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00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:25,662
...and you don't have donkey ears.
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00:08:25,832 --> 00:08:29,462
Midas was a miser, like Scrooge,
but hungrier. I'm a philanthropist.
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Just touch the sucker.
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00:08:35,512 --> 00:08:37,682
Hello. We'd like to ask
a few questions...
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-...but we only have a minute.
-I presume I'm dead.
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00:08:40,472 --> 00:08:42,972
Let's get to business.
First, the matter of my will.
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-It's in your lawyer's--
-Not that will. A new will...
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...and you're going to track it down
for me, roger?
153
00:08:49,022 --> 00:08:51,062
-Roger. Now if--
-Kid, you talk too much.
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00:08:51,272 --> 00:08:55,322
The will is in my trophy room. Go to
the biggest trophy, center of the wall.
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Turn it clockwise. Say it back to me.
156
00:08:57,782 --> 00:09:00,362
-Who killed you?
-Who are you? Who is he?
157
00:09:00,532 --> 00:09:02,372
Do you know who I am, Elmer?
158
00:09:02,532 --> 00:09:05,202
You about to be the first man
to ever be murdered twice.
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00:09:05,372 --> 00:09:08,712
-You want justice--
-I don't want my hard-earned money...
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...going where it doesn't belong.
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00:09:10,712 --> 00:09:14,342
Your generation has never understood
the value of a dollar--
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00:09:14,502 --> 00:09:17,052
Trophy room, biggest trophy,
turn clockwise.
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00:09:17,222 --> 00:09:22,092
Smartest one of the bunch.
I like your moxie, sassafras.
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00:09:22,302 --> 00:09:25,892
Find my will,
and make sure that no-good...
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00:09:26,062 --> 00:09:30,732
...gold-digging wife of mine
doesn't get one damn dime. Got it?
166
00:09:30,902 --> 00:09:34,612
-Who killed you?
-The bellman did it.
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[KNOCKING]
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00:09:44,242 --> 00:09:46,992
The private investigator,
the Pie-Maker and Chuck...
169
00:09:47,162 --> 00:09:50,962
...arrived at Gustav Hofer's mansion
to question his recent widow...
170
00:09:51,122 --> 00:09:55,672
...and long-time porter
regarding the inventor's death.
171
00:09:56,592 --> 00:09:59,972
All right, me and Dead Girl
are gonna go chat up the bellman.
172
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:02,632
You find that trophy room
and get ahold of that will.
173
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,182
I can do that. That said...
174
00:10:04,352 --> 00:10:06,432
...what's your take
on Dwight dating Vivian?
175
00:10:06,602 --> 00:10:08,852
How long before he looks
at a picture and says:
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00:10:09,022 --> 00:10:10,852
"There's that girl from The Pie Hole"?
177
00:10:11,022 --> 00:10:14,862
When I see an out-of-context picture
of a nice-looking young girl, I don't say:
178
00:10:15,022 --> 00:10:19,282
"There's that young girl who served me
cappuccino in that one restaurant."
179
00:10:19,992 --> 00:10:23,032
Oh, my gosh. This wallpaper
is vintage Osborne & Little.
180
00:10:23,202 --> 00:10:25,702
You could buy an island
for what this must be worth.
181
00:10:25,872 --> 00:10:27,792
Cool. I never even noticed.
182
00:10:27,952 --> 00:10:31,002
Isn't that weird?
I'm, like, the worst widow ever.
183
00:10:31,162 --> 00:10:32,832
Elise. You must be the PIs.
184
00:10:33,002 --> 00:10:35,462
Yes. Thank you so much
for agreeing to help us.
185
00:10:36,132 --> 00:10:38,592
-Is there a restroom?
-Down the hall, second left.
186
00:10:38,802 --> 00:10:41,382
We're very sorry for your loss.
You must be devastated.
187
00:10:41,552 --> 00:10:42,722
Crushed.
188
00:10:42,883 --> 00:10:45,303
-Please, pop a squat.
-Thank you.
189
00:10:45,473 --> 00:10:49,063
James Andrew, the bellman
you wanted to see, is on his way.
190
00:10:49,223 --> 00:10:52,433
I told him to bring some of those
awesome champagne-juice drinks.
191
00:10:52,603 --> 00:10:54,023
Mimosas?
192
00:10:54,193 --> 00:10:57,823
James Andrew,
they want mimosas instead.
193
00:10:57,983 --> 00:10:59,533
James Andrew!
194
00:11:02,073 --> 00:11:03,453
I'm sure he heard me.
195
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:09,123
Well, this is a very nice castle
that you have, Mrs. Hofer.
196
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:13,413
Thanks. It's a wreck right now,
getting it all set up for the wake.
197
00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:15,333
You should totally come.
198
00:11:15,503 --> 00:11:20,093
Everybody who's anybody is gonna
be here celebrating Gustav's death.
199
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:24,133
-You mean life.
-Sure, whatever.
200
00:11:28,973 --> 00:11:31,143
Oh, no.
201
00:11:44,153 --> 00:11:47,243
"Turn the largest trophy clockwise."
202
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,323
Cheers.
203
00:11:49,493 --> 00:11:52,123
Cheers. That is the best
champagne drink I've ever had.
204
00:11:52,293 --> 00:11:53,703
I know, right?
205
00:11:53,873 --> 00:11:58,043
Mrs. Hofer said you wanted to see me.
I assume it's not just for my mimosa.
206
00:11:58,213 --> 00:11:59,753
How does one become a bellman?
207
00:11:59,923 --> 00:12:03,423
Bellmen wear monkey suits
and work in hotel lobbies. I am a porter.
208
00:12:03,593 --> 00:12:07,513
Were you porting the night your boss
had a close encounter with his light?
209
00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:10,143
I was at a key party.
At least 15 people can vouch.
210
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:13,353
James Andrew
is definitely not the killing type.
211
00:12:13,523 --> 00:12:15,733
Well, Mrs. Hofer,
excuse me for being blunt...
212
00:12:15,893 --> 00:12:18,603
...but you stand to gain
from your late husband's death.
213
00:12:18,773 --> 00:12:22,443
Oh, my God, you think I totally did it.
214
00:12:22,613 --> 00:12:26,703
Well, FYI , I was at a charity ball
the night of the murder.
215
00:12:28,823 --> 00:12:30,323
Y'all sure got a big-ass dog.
216
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,003
[SPEAKS IN LATIN]
217
00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:44,763
The safe was empty. No will.
218
00:12:44,923 --> 00:12:47,633
-Nothing but a cryptic Latin phrase.
-Poor Gustav.
219
00:12:47,803 --> 00:12:50,303
He cared about getting that will
in the right hands.
220
00:12:50,473 --> 00:12:52,603
If we find the killer,
we'll find that will.
221
00:12:52,763 --> 00:12:55,973
Problem is, our case just went
from a slam-dunk to a badunkadunk.
222
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:59,443
-Is badunkadunk bad?
-Badunkadunk means big...
223
00:12:59,603 --> 00:13:01,943
...as in what our simple murder case
just became.
224
00:13:02,113 --> 00:13:03,903
What happened
to "the bellman did it"?
225
00:13:04,073 --> 00:13:06,783
He's hiding something,
but 15 people at a key party?
226
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:10,033
-That's an airtight alibi.
-What is a key party, any--?
227
00:13:10,203 --> 00:13:12,033
Oh, I love that you don't know that.
228
00:13:12,203 --> 00:13:15,083
-It's a kind of raffle.
-Of the porno variety.
229
00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:19,213
Oh.
230
00:13:19,373 --> 00:13:21,003
Back to the case. How does a safe...
231
00:13:21,173 --> 00:13:23,343
...with cryptic Latin inside
change anything?
232
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:26,343
You need to peel back
the pie crust you're working under...
233
00:13:26,513 --> 00:13:28,223
...and turn on the news sometime.
234
00:13:28,383 --> 00:13:30,803
Rich people are getting robbed
by some hooligan...
235
00:13:30,973 --> 00:13:33,473
...who leaves the Latin calling card
at every scene.
236
00:13:33,643 --> 00:13:35,183
That's why it's a badunkadunk.
237
00:13:35,353 --> 00:13:37,723
I gotta go see a buddy
at the police station.
238
00:13:37,893 --> 00:13:39,483
Great. Gives us more time...
239
00:13:39,643 --> 00:13:42,523
...to start work
on our research project on Dwight.
240
00:13:48,033 --> 00:13:49,953
Seems like Dwight didn't exist...
241
00:13:50,113 --> 00:13:52,453
...before checking
into the Come-and-Sleep Motel.
242
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,203
Who knows? Maybe he's not a bad guy.
He's charming.
243
00:13:55,373 --> 00:13:56,833
What do Lily and Vivian think?
244
00:13:57,003 --> 00:14:00,583
What you'd expect:
Lily hates and Vivian is completely ga.
245
00:14:00,753 --> 00:14:03,713
Good news is,
you're not even on his radar.
246
00:14:03,883 --> 00:14:06,423
How about another cup
of coffee, please?
247
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:10,343
Dwight's got a strange preoccupation
with your father's pocket watch.
248
00:14:10,513 --> 00:14:12,473
Maybe we give it to him
and he goes away.
249
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:15,513
Or we could wake my dad
and ask him.
250
00:14:15,683 --> 00:14:17,723
-Chuck.
-It would be a shortcut...
251
00:14:17,893 --> 00:14:19,523
...to finding out who Dwight is.
252
00:14:19,683 --> 00:14:21,733
You just have to touch him
and ask him.
253
00:14:21,893 --> 00:14:26,863
But that was an act of charity
the Pie-Maker was not willing to commit.
254
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,573
I'm sorry. It's just....
255
00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:31,243
I know you wanna say goodbye...
256
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:35,123
...and I know a lifetime of goodbyes
can't be condensed into a single minute.
257
00:14:35,283 --> 00:14:39,543
Even if they could, you'd have to
watch him die all over again.
258
00:14:41,373 --> 00:14:44,423
I love you too much
to make you suffer like that.
259
00:14:45,293 --> 00:14:47,173
You understand?
260
00:14:48,173 --> 00:14:49,883
Well, I got us a good nugget.
261
00:14:51,173 --> 00:14:54,803
The police say that our serial robber
always makes a donation to charity...
262
00:14:54,973 --> 00:14:56,723
...the day after he robs someone.
263
00:14:58,934 --> 00:15:00,274
Am I interrupting something?
264
00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:01,734
-No.
-Yep.
265
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:05,604
Maybe Gustav Hofer was being robbed
by a latter-day Robin Hood.
266
00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,654
-Killed by him.
-Call it what you want.
267
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:11,824
But I know where we can find
a bellman with a charity streak.
268
00:15:22,334 --> 00:15:27,584
It's a new day, friends,
another opportunity to help the needy...
269
00:15:27,754 --> 00:15:31,004
...so ring those bells,
collect spare change...
270
00:15:31,174 --> 00:15:33,554
...and remember: Ring for right!
271
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,014
Ring for right!
272
00:15:35,844 --> 00:15:37,184
Ring for right.
273
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:38,554
[SPEAKS IN LATIN]
274
00:15:38,724 --> 00:15:40,974
Which means "your ass is busted"
in PI lingo.
275
00:15:41,144 --> 00:15:43,854
Welcome to the Bellmen's
Charity Headquarters.
276
00:15:44,024 --> 00:15:45,944
Here to make a donation? Volunteer?
277
00:15:46,104 --> 00:15:49,404
One of your ringers rang for wrong
to the tune of robbery-homicide.
278
00:15:49,614 --> 00:15:52,864
That's outrageous and impossible.
We screen our Bellmen regularly...
279
00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:55,904
...to make sure that all who ring
in these hallowed halls...
280
00:15:56,114 --> 00:15:58,074
...follow our motto: Ring for right.
281
00:15:58,244 --> 00:16:00,664
Which happens to be written
in crime scenes all over the city.
282
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,164
In a dead language, but still.
283
00:16:02,334 --> 00:16:06,214
Friends, I assure you,
my Bellmen have nothing to hide.
284
00:16:06,374 --> 00:16:08,834
I fling my doors open
to your investigation...
285
00:16:09,004 --> 00:16:12,344
...and if there's anything else
that I can do, please don't hesitate--
286
00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:13,964
To ring?
287
00:16:14,134 --> 00:16:16,094
-Absolutely.
MEN: Yeah? Well, somewhere...
288
00:16:16,264 --> 00:16:19,304
...a starving street child
is chewing off his own fingers...
289
00:16:19,474 --> 00:16:22,564
...because you're too cheap
to give 50 bucks.
290
00:16:22,724 --> 00:16:25,394
Telemarketers. I hate these guys.
291
00:16:25,564 --> 00:16:28,564
I'm Emerson Cod, private investigator.
These are my associates.
292
00:16:28,734 --> 00:16:30,814
Mind if we have a gander
at your phone list?
293
00:16:31,364 --> 00:16:34,194
-What phone list?
-The one you just slid into that folder.
294
00:16:34,364 --> 00:16:36,034
-What folder?
-There's a comfort.
295
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:38,574
Telemarketers are just as horrible
in real life.
296
00:16:38,744 --> 00:16:39,874
Shift change.
297
00:16:40,494 --> 00:16:43,294
-He was very suspect-ish.
-Very.
298
00:16:43,454 --> 00:16:48,584
Yeah, well, any of these phone numbers
match the one at Gustav's mansion...
299
00:16:48,754 --> 00:16:51,504
...he's gonna be very jailbird-ish.
300
00:16:51,674 --> 00:16:54,134
After unearthing the grave
of Charlotte Charles...
301
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:57,974
...in search of a pocket watch
and finding neither girl nor watch...
302
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,644
...former jailbird Dwight Dixon
used his masculine wiles...
303
00:17:01,804 --> 00:17:07,984
...to determine if Vivian knew
of the watch's final, final resting place.
304
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,404
The clarinet is a lovely instrument.
305
00:17:10,564 --> 00:17:13,274
I wanted to be a flautist,
but unusually tight tendons...
306
00:17:13,444 --> 00:17:16,654
...in my pinkie finger
made hitting D-sharp impossible.
307
00:17:16,824 --> 00:17:21,114
Well, they look just fine to me.
Perfect for holding.
308
00:17:21,284 --> 00:17:25,294
I'm not the kind of woman who slips
notes into random men's coat pockets...
309
00:17:25,454 --> 00:17:28,464
-...but something about you....
-And what might that have been?
310
00:17:28,624 --> 00:17:31,794
The charm you force to cover
the brutish shell...
311
00:17:31,964 --> 00:17:33,794
...around your damaged heart.
312
00:17:35,464 --> 00:17:36,514
I like layers.
313
00:17:36,674 --> 00:17:42,264
Dwight felt his cold heart
warm ever so much.
314
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:47,564
Lily was under the impression you're only
looking to recover personal property...
315
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:51,984
...then disappear like a puddle
of gasoline in the sunshine.
316
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:56,274
I was saddened to hear Charles' watch
was buried with your dear late niece...
317
00:17:56,444 --> 00:17:59,194
...but what a fine gesture that was.
318
00:17:59,364 --> 00:18:01,954
I imagine the service was magnificent.
319
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:03,574
It was.
320
00:18:03,744 --> 00:18:06,244
So others beside yourself...
321
00:18:06,414 --> 00:18:08,664
...were able to see Charlotte
with the watch...
322
00:18:08,834 --> 00:18:12,334
...before her dear soul
was committed to the ground?
323
00:18:12,504 --> 00:18:16,504
Mary Suddbury leaned in
and peeled back Charlotte's eyelids.
324
00:18:16,674 --> 00:18:19,514
Said there was a vigorous black market
in stolen corneas...
325
00:18:19,674 --> 00:18:22,974
...but I thought it was in poor taste.
326
00:18:24,474 --> 00:18:27,814
Charlotte. I encouraged her
to take the pleasure cruise...
327
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,144
...that ended so unpleasantly.
328
00:18:30,314 --> 00:18:36,574
I was tired of being a shut-in,
but I couldn't bring myself to leave...
329
00:18:36,774 --> 00:18:42,154
...and so I decided to leave vicariously,
and pushed Charlotte out the door.
330
00:18:43,114 --> 00:18:45,574
Poor Charlotte.
331
00:18:45,784 --> 00:18:50,544
Now. You've gone and set
those pretty peepers a-weeping.
332
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:55,544
In his search for a brass pocket watch,
Dwight Dixon found a heart of gold.
333
00:18:55,714 --> 00:18:59,674
I've carried this with me
since the funeral...
334
00:18:59,844 --> 00:19:06,514
...as a reminder to stop living vicariously
and start living living.
335
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,514
You've probably seen her face before.
336
00:19:09,684 --> 00:19:11,854
She was all over the news
after she died.
337
00:19:13,854 --> 00:19:19,324
Oh, I've definitely
seen her face before.
338
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:33,415
Do you know if Gustav donated
to an organization called the Bellmen?
339
00:19:33,585 --> 00:19:35,835
-The Bellmen?
-Every house that's been robbed...
340
00:19:36,045 --> 00:19:38,845
...was called by a Bellmen telemarketer
named Tam Fong.
341
00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:44,515
So Elise didn't do it?
This Tam Fong killed Gustav?
342
00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:47,475
Well, where is he?
I'm gonna find that malfeas-ass...
343
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:50,145
-...and slam him down!
-Inside voice.
344
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,315
-Not the gavel of justice.
-Outside voice.
345
00:19:52,485 --> 00:19:55,605
I'm talking about Southern-style,
back-alley score-settling...
346
00:19:55,775 --> 00:19:57,445
...doled out by me and a couple--
347
00:19:57,615 --> 00:20:01,195
-Conversational patio voice?
-Before you get to doling out justice...
348
00:20:01,365 --> 00:20:03,865
...the smoking gun don't always point
to the bad guy.
349
00:20:04,075 --> 00:20:06,705
So Tam Fong isn't the guilty party?
350
00:20:06,865 --> 00:20:09,455
Yes. No. Maybe.
351
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,335
All we know is, maybe he had a hand
in marking the mark.
352
00:20:12,505 --> 00:20:15,875
Good news is, we have reason to believe
Gustav completed a second will.
353
00:20:16,085 --> 00:20:20,295
A second will? Hopefully, that
tarnished trophy wife of his is excluded.
354
00:20:20,465 --> 00:20:21,885
Wait, wait. I'm his lawyer.
355
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,845
If there were a second will,
I would have drafted it...
356
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,975
...and drawn a tidy 20 percent
commission for my troubles.
357
00:20:28,145 --> 00:20:29,895
So how would you know differently?
358
00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:33,065
Let's just say our procedures
would be inadmissible in court.
359
00:20:33,225 --> 00:20:35,235
The will was taken during the robbery.
360
00:20:35,395 --> 00:20:37,315
You people mix the good with the bad.
361
00:20:37,485 --> 00:20:41,025
The world would be better if everybody
dabbed calamine on bad news.
362
00:20:41,195 --> 00:20:44,235
Gustav Hofer deserved better
than the wife he had...
363
00:20:44,405 --> 00:20:48,865
...and the wife he had
didn't deserve the money he earned.
364
00:20:49,035 --> 00:20:52,245
You find that second will,
I'll double your fee.
365
00:20:52,415 --> 00:20:54,835
-We'll find that will.
-We'll find that will.
366
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,005
Tam's calling the houses,
even if he's not robbing them.
367
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:01,335
What if we put our names
on the do-call list?
368
00:21:01,505 --> 00:21:03,595
No burglar would take the bait...
369
00:21:03,755 --> 00:21:07,265
-...if they saw your tiny-ass apartments.
-We could use my aunts' house.
370
00:21:08,845 --> 00:21:10,725
Is there a sting? I wanna sting. Can I?
371
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,935
-That's a very bad idea.
-It's a good idea, made doubly good.
372
00:21:14,145 --> 00:21:16,775
You figure out
who brought the lights down on Gustav.
373
00:21:16,935 --> 00:21:19,275
I'll shine a light
on the true identity of Dwight.
374
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,945
I have an old cigar box
with my dad's letters...
375
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,615
...it's hidden in my bedroom.
376
00:21:23,775 --> 00:21:27,285
Now, if my dad did know Dwight,
there'll be something about him inside.
377
00:21:27,455 --> 00:21:30,455
The Pie-Maker considered
the wooden box in her old room...
378
00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:34,625
...a better alternative to the wooden
box that contained her father...
379
00:21:34,795 --> 00:21:37,875
...so a sting was set.
380
00:21:43,295 --> 00:21:45,635
Mr. Fong, I am so sorry to interrupt.
381
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,095
I'm Tessa Carville,
wife of Clarence Carville...
382
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,765
...who I'm sure you're aware
owns Carville Steel.
383
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:53,975
I believe someone from here
called me yesterday?
384
00:21:54,145 --> 00:21:57,725
Mrs. Carville, of course.
Please, take a seat.
385
00:21:57,895 --> 00:21:59,315
I won't be staying long.
386
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:02,815
Just long enough to explain
why I hate phone solicitations...
387
00:22:02,985 --> 00:22:06,155
...almost as much as I hate beggars
and panhandlers.
388
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:10,115
I have the right to a net worth greater
than most developing countries...
389
00:22:10,285 --> 00:22:12,825
...without being hounded
by sponging ne'er-do-wells...
390
00:22:12,995 --> 00:22:15,495
...and sanctimonious bleeding hearts
like yourself.
391
00:22:15,705 --> 00:22:17,665
So unless you stop calling...
392
00:22:17,835 --> 00:22:20,505
... I will take a tiny fraction
of my immense wealth...
393
00:22:20,665 --> 00:22:24,795
...buy this building, knock it down,
and turn it into a glue factory so big...
394
00:22:24,965 --> 00:22:27,305
...the whole city
will be smelling horse.
395
00:22:27,465 --> 00:22:29,175
If you please leave your number...
396
00:22:29,345 --> 00:22:32,515
... I'll see to it that nobody
calls you again. Psych.
397
00:22:32,725 --> 00:22:35,475
-Did you say "psych"?
-No.
398
00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:38,185
Good, because I'm getting
on a hovercraft...
399
00:22:38,355 --> 00:22:40,605
...bound for Saint-Tropez
early this evening...
400
00:22:40,775 --> 00:22:44,315
...and I expect it to be dealt with
before I return tomorrow.
401
00:22:44,525 --> 00:22:47,155
Here is my card.
402
00:22:52,495 --> 00:22:53,535
The trap was set...
403
00:22:53,745 --> 00:22:57,035
...so the Pie-Maker and Chuck
returned to her childhood bedroom...
404
00:22:57,205 --> 00:23:00,705
...not to catch a thief, but to uncover
Dwight Dixon's true intentions.
405
00:23:00,875 --> 00:23:03,045
CHUCK: They turned my old room
into a cheese locker.
406
00:23:03,545 --> 00:23:07,885
Can you smell the flowery overtones
of Stilton wafting through the air?
407
00:23:08,055 --> 00:23:12,055
It's nice that they filled this room
with something you all loved so much.
408
00:23:13,015 --> 00:23:16,555
Oh. It's amazing how a familiar smell
can wrap you in its arms...
409
00:23:16,765 --> 00:23:20,015
...and cuddle away any ugly memories
between now...
410
00:23:20,185 --> 00:23:22,565
...and the last time you smelled it.
411
00:23:23,815 --> 00:23:26,195
Oh, thank you for letting me come.
412
00:23:26,365 --> 00:23:27,405
I'm glad you came.
413
00:23:27,575 --> 00:23:29,865
Oh, and don't worry
about getting caught.
414
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:33,995
I'll hear anybody coming before they
even get to the bottom of the stairs.
415
00:23:34,166 --> 00:23:35,866
[MUSIC PLAYS AND
WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
416
00:23:36,036 --> 00:23:37,416
Listen.
417
00:23:37,586 --> 00:23:40,496
The other end's hooked up
to the Victrola in the living room.
418
00:23:40,666 --> 00:23:42,836
I used it to eavesdrop
when I was a teenager.
419
00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:45,176
-That's very crafty.
-Yeah.
420
00:23:51,556 --> 00:23:53,766
Alone in a room that was once hers...
421
00:23:53,926 --> 00:23:56,936
...Chuck felt, for a moment,
like a little girl again.
422
00:23:57,096 --> 00:23:59,356
Thinking of the mementos in the box...
423
00:23:59,516 --> 00:24:03,606
...among them, the birthday present
she was never able to give her father...
424
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:07,196
...Chuck thanked
her 8-year-old self.
425
00:24:07,356 --> 00:24:09,816
Thank you, 8-year-old self.
426
00:24:10,026 --> 00:24:12,036
You must be out of your damn minds!
427
00:24:12,196 --> 00:24:15,116
There is no way
in Tinker Bell's tiny butt cheeks...
428
00:24:15,326 --> 00:24:18,246
...that you are gonna roll out
the welcome mat on my porch...
429
00:24:18,416 --> 00:24:20,586
-...for thieves.
-We know it's an imposition--
430
00:24:20,746 --> 00:24:24,456
An imposition is ordering clams
at a kosher deli.
431
00:24:24,626 --> 00:24:27,296
Robbers nowadays
are multihyphenate hoodlums.
432
00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:29,046
They don't just rob. Oh, no.
433
00:24:29,216 --> 00:24:31,796
They strip you naked,
lather you in lard...
434
00:24:31,966 --> 00:24:34,596
...then slide you into the walls
and leave you there.
435
00:24:34,766 --> 00:24:37,476
-Then they rob you.
-When you put it like that....
436
00:24:37,646 --> 00:24:41,306
Why don't I just get a shovel
and start digging my shallow grave now?
437
00:24:41,476 --> 00:24:46,316
-I find a dash of danger titillating.
-You've certainly made that clear.
438
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,656
I assume
that's a passive-aggressive insult...
439
00:24:48,856 --> 00:24:52,276
...directed at my daring sashays
into romance.
440
00:24:52,446 --> 00:24:53,486
I choose to ignore it.
441
00:24:53,656 --> 00:24:56,496
You've ignored every other sign
on the road to heartbreak.
442
00:24:56,656 --> 00:25:00,116
I find that interjecting at precisely
the right moment defuses conflict.
443
00:25:00,286 --> 00:25:02,746
-Wouldn't you agree?
-Lily Charles, you're jealous.
444
00:25:02,916 --> 00:25:07,666
It simply slays you that a man as tender
and as viscerally masculine as Dwight...
445
00:25:07,876 --> 00:25:10,636
-...chose me over you.
-Missed it by that much.
446
00:25:10,796 --> 00:25:16,676
LILY: I am not jealous.
I'm worried about you. Damn it...
447
00:25:17,096 --> 00:25:21,806
... I love you. I don't wanna see
this fetish you have for raffish men...
448
00:25:21,976 --> 00:25:23,936
...hurt you the way it has in the past.
449
00:25:24,106 --> 00:25:26,686
-On the topic of Dwight--
-Keep out of this!
450
00:25:28,816 --> 00:25:33,316
Is my patch on the wrong eye
or did it suddenly get very dark in here?
451
00:25:33,486 --> 00:25:35,116
Is it dark? I didn't even notice.
452
00:25:35,286 --> 00:25:38,866
They say that extreme photosensitivity
is a sign of rabies...
453
00:25:39,036 --> 00:25:42,286
...or a hangover,
or a delicate optical-nerve condition--
454
00:25:42,456 --> 00:25:46,296
Or a bunch of part-time PIs trying
to hoodwink a hoodlum...
455
00:25:46,456 --> 00:25:48,966
...by pretending my house is vacant--
456
00:25:49,126 --> 00:25:52,546
Wait a minute!
We're being robbed tonight!
457
00:25:52,716 --> 00:25:54,466
Ooh! I just got a shiver.
458
00:25:54,676 --> 00:25:57,346
NARRATOR: While the bickering
downstairs continued...
459
00:25:57,516 --> 00:26:00,976
...Chuck decided she had heard
all the fighting she cared to...
460
00:26:01,436 --> 00:26:05,726
...and turned her attention instead
to her father's dusty belongings.
461
00:26:05,936 --> 00:26:07,976
Seeing Dwight engaged
in male bonding...
462
00:26:08,146 --> 00:26:10,396
...with her father
and the Pie-Maker's father...
463
00:26:10,566 --> 00:26:15,236
...Chuck still found no indication
of Dwight Dixon's true intentions.
464
00:26:15,406 --> 00:26:19,156
The secret behind those intentions
remained buried with her father...
465
00:26:19,326 --> 00:26:25,706
...in the grave next to her grave,
a grave she may soon be returning to.
466
00:26:32,796 --> 00:26:33,886
Fear not, madam.
467
00:26:34,046 --> 00:26:35,636
[GRUNTS]
468
00:26:35,796 --> 00:26:37,716
-Shh! Shh!
-I mean you no harm.
469
00:26:37,886 --> 00:26:39,926
Spectacular throw, by the way.
470
00:26:40,096 --> 00:26:42,596
To be fair, I should tell you
I have a gun.
471
00:26:42,806 --> 00:26:45,186
-To be fairer, I don't believe you.
-To be fair...
472
00:26:45,356 --> 00:26:48,186
...all I have to do is scream
and a cadre of big men...
473
00:26:48,356 --> 00:26:50,936
...and sweet ladies with shotguns
will come running.
474
00:26:51,106 --> 00:26:53,906
Fair enough. And yet, you haven't.
Perhaps you believe...
475
00:26:54,066 --> 00:26:58,406
...that society has a moral obligation
to protect the least fortunate.
476
00:26:58,576 --> 00:27:00,786
-Where society fails--
-You pick up the slack.
477
00:27:00,946 --> 00:27:03,286
Which sounds incredibly noble
until you kill.
478
00:27:03,456 --> 00:27:08,246
I am no killer, merely a soldier
of fortune. Other people's fortunes...
479
00:27:08,416 --> 00:27:11,586
-...for the underprivileged.
-Gustav would say otherwise.
480
00:27:11,756 --> 00:27:14,586
He would if he could speak,
but he can't because he's dead.
481
00:27:14,756 --> 00:27:18,596
You and Tam Fong killed Gustav
two days ago, after you robbed him.
482
00:27:18,756 --> 00:27:22,726
First of all, Tam Fong is but another
unwitting victim of my robberies.
483
00:27:22,886 --> 00:27:24,766
I swipe his phone list
to choose targets.
484
00:27:24,936 --> 00:27:27,476
-And Gustav?
-I robbed him. It's true.
485
00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:29,816
Not because he was stingy
and uncharitable...
486
00:27:29,976 --> 00:27:32,486
-...because he asked me to.
-He asked you to rob him?
487
00:27:32,646 --> 00:27:36,446
He was writing a will, needed to know
whether to name his wife as beneficiary.
488
00:27:36,616 --> 00:27:39,196
I know how this must sound,
but the facts were these.
489
00:27:39,366 --> 00:27:42,786
-Huh?
-These were the facts:
490
00:27:43,246 --> 00:27:45,786
WRIGHT: Gustav was in the midst
of a crisis of faith.
491
00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:49,916
His decision to rewrite his will made him
question whether his wife loved him...
492
00:27:50,087 --> 00:27:52,417
...and if he had
any true friendships at all.
493
00:27:52,587 --> 00:27:54,507
And that's when we met.
494
00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:57,677
He wanted to make a contribution
but I wouldn't let him.
495
00:27:57,887 --> 00:28:00,677
He said, "Where I come from,
people get paid for services."
496
00:28:00,887 --> 00:28:04,517
But I said, "Charity is an impulse,
not a return for a friendly act."
497
00:28:04,687 --> 00:28:07,767
So we talked. He told me his problems
and I offered a solution.
498
00:28:08,017 --> 00:28:11,017
I agreed to rob him. He would appear
to be an innocent victim.
499
00:28:11,187 --> 00:28:14,937
If his wife stayed faithfully by his side,
his concerns could be laid to rest.
500
00:28:15,107 --> 00:28:18,107
I'd return half his fortune,
keep the other half for charity.
501
00:28:18,527 --> 00:28:23,037
But Gustav's wife intervened
and I had to get out.
502
00:28:24,657 --> 00:28:27,367
I read in the paper the next day
what happened to Gustav.
503
00:28:27,537 --> 00:28:29,877
Even if you didn't kill him,
you're a criminal.
504
00:28:30,037 --> 00:28:32,207
My duty is to the downtrodden,
the meek...
505
00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:35,377
...those unable to reach their bootstraps,
let alone pull them.
506
00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:39,717
I take what people can afford to lose.
That certainly doesn't include their lives.
507
00:28:39,927 --> 00:28:42,387
-Do you like puppies?
-Yeah.
508
00:28:42,557 --> 00:28:45,057
The county animal shelter
is to be shut tomorrow...
509
00:28:45,227 --> 00:28:47,557
...unless I get them money
to pay their mortgage.
510
00:28:47,727 --> 00:28:51,517
With nowhere to house these animals,
dogcatchers are calling it The Big Sleep.
511
00:28:51,687 --> 00:28:52,857
You can save them?
512
00:28:53,027 --> 00:28:57,237
Only if the help outweighs the hurt,
the act of charity always makes sense.
513
00:28:57,447 --> 00:28:59,907
You let him go?
What if he's a cold-blooded murderer?
514
00:29:00,067 --> 00:29:03,237
-Shut it. Kitchen.
-It was charity. There were puppies.
515
00:29:03,407 --> 00:29:05,997
And, besides, my Grueneberg ganglia
wasn't activated.
516
00:29:06,157 --> 00:29:07,497
Well, that sounds personal.
517
00:29:07,657 --> 00:29:10,997
One of them feminine conversations
you need to have with lady friends.
518
00:29:11,167 --> 00:29:14,337
Nerves at the tip of your nose
detect aggressive pheromones.
519
00:29:14,507 --> 00:29:16,417
As in, you can sniff out danger?
520
00:29:16,587 --> 00:29:20,547
I could smell a swashbuckling do-gooder
in the wrong place at the wrong time.
521
00:29:20,717 --> 00:29:23,047
-Puppy crap.
-You shouldn't have let him go.
522
00:29:23,217 --> 00:29:25,887
-It was a mistake.
-You're really angry at me.
523
00:29:26,057 --> 00:29:28,267
I'm stress baking in my head.
524
00:29:28,477 --> 00:29:31,437
-You're stress baking me.
-I'm channeling fear into anger.
525
00:29:31,607 --> 00:29:32,937
And anger leads to hate.
526
00:29:33,107 --> 00:29:35,437
Hate leads to stress baking
the people you love.
527
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:38,397
Bad, but better than releasing,
which you did for the Bellman.
528
00:29:38,567 --> 00:29:42,907
Maybe Rob was telling the truth.
Maybe it was Gustav's wife.
529
00:29:43,077 --> 00:29:45,907
You did say that the bellman/porter
was hiding something.
530
00:29:46,077 --> 00:29:50,117
He may have had an alibi
but he may also know who killed Gustav.
531
00:29:51,417 --> 00:29:52,787
Eh.
532
00:29:57,257 --> 00:29:59,877
Stakeouts are only fun when
there are binoculars for everybody.
533
00:30:00,047 --> 00:30:02,467
Stakeouts are fun if you got
a game to listen to...
534
00:30:02,637 --> 00:30:05,097
...and the stake is next to
a hot-dog stand.
535
00:30:05,257 --> 00:30:08,427
This seems like a good time
to have weighty conversations.
536
00:30:08,597 --> 00:30:11,057
-No, it don't.
-If Dwight figures out I'm not dead...
537
00:30:11,227 --> 00:30:13,437
...it may be the best thing
that ever happened to me.
538
00:30:13,607 --> 00:30:16,397
You're talking a lot like a dead girl
that wants to go back.
539
00:30:16,567 --> 00:30:20,567
-What's the worst that could happen?
-Pie-Maker becomes a show in the circus.
540
00:30:20,737 --> 00:30:23,907
-I earn wages peddling tickets.
-This is a cavalier conversation about...
541
00:30:24,067 --> 00:30:27,487
-...a deep, dark, touchy subject for me.
-How deep, dark and touchy is it?
542
00:30:27,657 --> 00:30:30,997
Since I was little, I'd have this dream
somebody found out what I could do.
543
00:30:31,157 --> 00:30:33,827
It starts off with
lots of ice cream and balloons...
544
00:30:33,997 --> 00:30:35,667
...and ends in a small room...
545
00:30:35,837 --> 00:30:38,417
...where bits are cut out of me
until there's nothing.
546
00:30:38,587 --> 00:30:42,337
That's awful. If Dwight finds out
about me, then he finds out about you.
547
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:45,337
You still won't wake my dad
and find out what Dwight wants.
548
00:30:45,547 --> 00:30:47,807
You're putting my well-being
before your fears.
549
00:30:47,967 --> 00:30:51,177
That's so courageous and romantic.
550
00:30:51,477 --> 00:30:52,597
Ugh.
551
00:30:52,767 --> 00:30:55,347
-Thank you.
-Well, lookie, lookie.
552
00:30:55,557 --> 00:30:57,857
That's Gustav's widow
and the bellman. Petting?
553
00:30:58,067 --> 00:31:02,357
Hello, motive, nice to see you again.
554
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:08,157
All that remained for Emerson Cod
was to confront the bellman and widow.
555
00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:12,197
Across town, all that remained
of Charles Charles...
556
00:31:12,367 --> 00:31:14,707
...was a loving box of memories.
557
00:31:14,877 --> 00:31:17,787
And a pocket watch.
Although Charles Charles...
558
00:31:17,957 --> 00:31:22,297
...the man who had set so much
in motion, was long gone...
559
00:31:22,467 --> 00:31:27,387
...Dwight Dixon, the man who intended
to bring it all to a crashing end...
560
00:31:27,597 --> 00:31:28,757
...was still here.
561
00:31:28,927 --> 00:31:30,057
[BELL RINGS AND DOOR CLOSES]
562
00:31:30,217 --> 00:31:31,217
[OLIVE HUMMING]
563
00:31:31,387 --> 00:31:34,687
We're close-- Uh.... Excuse me.
564
00:31:34,847 --> 00:31:37,057
What I meant to say was,
"We're closed."
565
00:31:37,227 --> 00:31:39,647
Oh, you're here all by your lonesome.
566
00:31:39,817 --> 00:31:42,067
No, no, I'm not here
all by my lonesome.
567
00:31:42,237 --> 00:31:45,567
Manuel, the big cholo janitor,
is in the back.
568
00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:50,197
I think he used to be in one of those
super-dangerous El Salvadorian gangs...
569
00:31:50,367 --> 00:31:54,997
...who murder white, older men
as a warning to the police to buzz off.
570
00:31:55,167 --> 00:31:57,577
Isn't that right, Manuel?
571
00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:00,207
He's probably cleaning the toilet.
572
00:32:00,707 --> 00:32:03,207
I'd like to leave a message
for your friends.
573
00:32:03,378 --> 00:32:06,048
Yeah, I'll just grab a pad.
It's around here somewhere.
574
00:32:06,218 --> 00:32:07,968
Boy, look at all this sugar.
575
00:32:08,138 --> 00:32:09,388
[BELL RINGS]
576
00:32:09,548 --> 00:32:11,348
Yeah, I hope you don't need a--
577
00:32:12,428 --> 00:32:14,098
Hello?
578
00:32:14,268 --> 00:32:17,688
While Olive Snook was unable to provide
the pen and paper she sought...
579
00:32:17,848 --> 00:32:23,608
...she'd received the mysterious
Dwight's message loud and clear.
580
00:32:28,568 --> 00:32:31,908
One hour, 23 minutes
and 42 seconds ago...
581
00:32:32,078 --> 00:32:35,158
...Olive Snook made
two alarming discoveries.
582
00:32:35,328 --> 00:32:37,418
First, that in time of duress...
583
00:32:37,578 --> 00:32:40,578
...the Pie-Maker's penchant
for stress baking was matched...
584
00:32:40,748 --> 00:32:44,668
...only by the petite waitress's
predilection for stress binging.
585
00:32:44,838 --> 00:32:47,678
Second, that the dark stranger,
Dwight Dixon...
586
00:32:47,838 --> 00:32:52,598
...had discovered Chuck,
a.k.a. Charlotte Charles', true identity.
587
00:32:52,758 --> 00:32:55,598
It did little to lighten the load
in Olive's heart...
588
00:32:55,768 --> 00:33:00,148
...as she anxiously awaited
the Pie-Maker's return.
589
00:33:00,308 --> 00:33:03,478
Having acquired the brass pocket watch
he so eagerly sought...
590
00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:06,648
...Dwight Dixon set his sights
on Vivian's heart of gold.
591
00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:12,278
But sister Lily was not about to let
that treasure go so easily.
592
00:33:15,998 --> 00:33:19,288
You can turn your fanny right around
and walk away, mister.
593
00:33:19,458 --> 00:33:21,288
We're done buying
what you're peddling.
594
00:33:21,458 --> 00:33:24,668
Now, Lily, that's not entirely true.
More accurate would be:
595
00:33:24,838 --> 00:33:29,468
"I'm not buying what you're peddling,
but Vivian will be right down."
596
00:33:29,628 --> 00:33:32,468
How long you suppose
she'll stay interested in the wares...
597
00:33:32,638 --> 00:33:34,638
...of a two-bit huckster pitching lies?
598
00:33:34,808 --> 00:33:36,558
I didn't think you were so concerned.
599
00:33:36,768 --> 00:33:38,978
Shouldn't you be more worried
about the truth?
600
00:33:39,138 --> 00:33:40,978
Time to nip you
in the budding romance.
601
00:33:41,148 --> 00:33:44,228
Before Vivian convinces herself
you really are the Second Coming.
602
00:33:44,398 --> 00:33:48,738
I assume you are referring to
my friend, your lover, Charles Charles.
603
00:33:48,898 --> 00:33:51,568
-You're nothing like Charles.
-I think Charlie and me...
604
00:33:51,778 --> 00:33:56,158
...are more similar than you reckon.
A few stark differences, of course.
605
00:33:56,328 --> 00:33:58,408
But we had the same ambitions.
606
00:33:58,578 --> 00:34:02,368
He made bad decisions.
You were a bad decision.
607
00:34:02,538 --> 00:34:06,378
My bad decisions landed me in prison.
His landed him with a baby girl.
608
00:34:06,548 --> 00:34:11,088
I don't think I ever had the opportunity
to express my condolences.
609
00:34:11,298 --> 00:34:15,548
You got your thumb on a big, red button
you definitely don't wanna push.
610
00:34:15,718 --> 00:34:18,678
Vivian said the service was beautiful.
611
00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:24,308
And what a lovely gesture, to bury
your daughter with her father's watch.
612
00:34:25,398 --> 00:34:31,608
You're such thoughtful women,
who have loved and lost so much.
613
00:34:32,408 --> 00:34:35,448
We're gonna lose you right now
before you get one inch closer...
614
00:34:35,618 --> 00:34:40,828
...to my little sister's heart.
Get gone and stay gone.
615
00:34:43,578 --> 00:34:47,588
Lily's encounter with Dwight had stirred
the pot of her sentimental soup...
616
00:34:47,748 --> 00:34:51,588
...one spoonful of which gave her
a terrible case of the yearns...
617
00:34:51,758 --> 00:34:53,428
...to visit her daughter's grave.
618
00:34:53,588 --> 00:34:56,428
What in hell's kitchen...?
619
00:34:58,968 --> 00:35:02,768
But when she saw the overturned dirt,
she thought about the pocket watch...
620
00:35:02,938 --> 00:35:05,398
...and the man obsessed
with its whereabouts...
621
00:35:05,558 --> 00:35:08,898
...and wondered whether
Dwight Dixon had unearthed more...
622
00:35:09,068 --> 00:35:11,778
...than Vivian's buried emotion.
623
00:35:12,898 --> 00:35:14,818
Meanwhile, the private investigators...
624
00:35:14,988 --> 00:35:18,078
...had unearthed the buried motives
of Gustav Hofer's widow.
625
00:35:18,238 --> 00:35:19,578
EMERSON:
You bumped off Gustav...
626
00:35:19,738 --> 00:35:22,958
...so you could bump uglies
with the bellman while inheriting.
627
00:35:23,118 --> 00:35:25,998
-I told you. Alibi. Key party.
-Your alibi never checked out.
628
00:35:26,168 --> 00:35:28,998
You never went to that ball.
Why'd you do it, Elise?
629
00:35:29,168 --> 00:35:32,418
I didn't do anything.
Except James Andrew.
630
00:35:33,378 --> 00:35:34,798
Who do you think got his key?
631
00:35:35,138 --> 00:35:37,928
Oh. I was still really wrong about
what I thought that was.
632
00:35:38,098 --> 00:35:40,638
You two backing up each other's alibis
means bupkis.
633
00:35:40,808 --> 00:35:43,268
You were canoodling
and you were cahooting to kill.
634
00:35:43,438 --> 00:35:45,688
We cahooted to keep quiet
about our affair.
635
00:35:45,898 --> 00:35:48,808
Adulteresses totally get the shaft
in estate law.
636
00:35:48,978 --> 00:35:51,318
I couldn't kill anybody
with these hands.
637
00:35:51,478 --> 00:35:53,818
Since I grew these puppies,
my manicure means...
638
00:35:53,988 --> 00:35:56,448
... I'm a mani-can't for manual labor.
639
00:35:56,618 --> 00:35:59,948
You were a mani-can when it came
to pointing a gun at Robber Rob...
640
00:36:00,118 --> 00:36:03,828
-...and almost pulled the trigger.
-As if. I never even saw the robber.
641
00:36:03,998 --> 00:36:05,958
And even if I did....
642
00:36:06,628 --> 00:36:08,998
Why is everybody pointing their gun
at me?
643
00:36:09,168 --> 00:36:13,458
There is no way I could pull the trigger
on a gun. I'm too blinged out.
644
00:36:13,628 --> 00:36:16,718
-You could have taken off the rings.
-Would have taken forever.
645
00:36:16,928 --> 00:36:18,048
Rob would have been out.
646
00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:21,508
If she's telling the truth
and didn't storm in on Rob robbing....
647
00:36:21,679 --> 00:36:24,019
Our Robbing Hood's
had us hoodwinked.
648
00:36:26,939 --> 00:36:32,189
So the private investigator, the Pie-Maker
and Chuck sought out their winking hood...
649
00:36:32,359 --> 00:36:34,439
...at the Bellmen's headquarters.
650
00:36:35,739 --> 00:36:40,239
I'll thank you to keep your sidearm
holstered, sir, lest I be forced to lunge.
651
00:36:41,989 --> 00:36:45,579
Well, at least it ain't another gun.
652
00:36:52,959 --> 00:36:54,629
From one gentleman to another...
653
00:36:54,799 --> 00:36:57,719
...allow me to apologize
for our current situation.
654
00:36:57,879 --> 00:37:01,889
I'd be receptive to that apology if there
wasn't a knife pointed at my gullet.
655
00:37:02,139 --> 00:37:05,139
You're a lying liar and a murderer.
Both of which are bad--
656
00:37:05,309 --> 00:37:07,729
One is worse.
You slaughtered a senior citizen.
657
00:37:07,889 --> 00:37:09,979
That'll buy you a ringside seat in hell.
658
00:37:10,149 --> 00:37:13,319
You might get a refund on that ticket
if you put the knife down.
659
00:37:13,479 --> 00:37:16,569
Gustav was the victim
of a tragic accident.
660
00:37:16,739 --> 00:37:18,399
Born of good deeds, I might add.
661
00:37:18,609 --> 00:37:20,409
Running from the scene
was no accident.
662
00:37:20,619 --> 00:37:23,409
Did you stop to consider
the consequences of your good deeds?
663
00:37:23,619 --> 00:37:26,409
Those weren't good for Gustav's wife,
lawyer or legacy.
664
00:37:26,579 --> 00:37:30,329
Well, actually, now that you mention it,
I think I can make that right.
665
00:37:30,919 --> 00:37:32,839
Gustav's will. It was in his safe.
666
00:37:32,999 --> 00:37:37,049
Now that that's settled,
I trust my quest to rob from the rich...
667
00:37:37,219 --> 00:37:39,929
...and give to the poor
may continue unabated.
668
00:37:40,089 --> 00:37:42,339
Oh, hell, no.
669
00:37:42,509 --> 00:37:45,889
You see, I plan on being real rich,
and I wanna see your ass in jail.
670
00:37:46,059 --> 00:37:50,229
I was afraid you might feel
that way, so....
671
00:37:50,849 --> 00:37:52,979
[SPEAKS IN LATIN]
672
00:37:55,939 --> 00:37:57,399
[GRUNTS]
673
00:37:57,569 --> 00:38:00,279
About time I get to do
the gun pointing around here.
674
00:38:00,449 --> 00:38:01,949
The facts were these:
675
00:38:02,119 --> 00:38:04,909
Upon coming to the realization
that his young wife...
676
00:38:05,079 --> 00:38:07,369
...may only have married him
for his money...
677
00:38:07,539 --> 00:38:11,869
...Gustav found himself questioning
whether he should rewrite his will.
678
00:38:12,039 --> 00:38:15,249
Bellman Rob Wright afforded him
the perfect plan.
679
00:38:15,419 --> 00:38:18,879
Fake a robbery to learn
his wife's true feelings.
680
00:38:19,049 --> 00:38:21,719
But Daniel Hill discovered
those feelings first.
681
00:38:21,889 --> 00:38:26,469
He deserves the crème de la crème,
not some sugar-stuffed Pop-Tart...
682
00:38:26,639 --> 00:38:29,139
...with a helium voice
and hooker heels.
683
00:38:29,309 --> 00:38:32,269
One word from me
and you are out of the will.
684
00:38:33,309 --> 00:38:36,319
Though his lawyer shielded Gustav
from his wife's treachery...
685
00:38:36,479 --> 00:38:38,149
...in order to protect his pride...
686
00:38:38,319 --> 00:38:41,319
...Gustav had not only seen
her adulteress ways...
687
00:38:41,489 --> 00:38:45,989
...but also the way Daniel Hill defended
his good name and honor.
688
00:38:46,159 --> 00:38:50,619
The billionaire resolved to leave
his estate to his esquire.
689
00:38:50,789 --> 00:38:53,999
When the Bellman arrived,
Gustav refused to play his role.
690
00:38:54,209 --> 00:38:57,499
Rob Wright insisted Gustav keep his end
of the bargain.
691
00:38:57,669 --> 00:39:01,299
Gustav insisted more emphatically
that Rob leave his mansion.
692
00:39:01,469 --> 00:39:02,719
WRIGHT:
Give me the--
693
00:39:05,259 --> 00:39:08,099
It was Gustav who would be
the dearly departed...
694
00:39:08,259 --> 00:39:11,639
...and Daniel Hill who would find
the body he left behind...
695
00:39:11,809 --> 00:39:13,769
...and pick up the pieces.
696
00:39:15,729 --> 00:39:17,689
Gustav's revised will.
697
00:39:17,859 --> 00:39:20,189
-You get the whole Hofer coffer.
-Me?
698
00:39:20,359 --> 00:39:23,699
All I ever did was give him
my friendship.
699
00:39:23,859 --> 00:39:25,779
That's all he wanted.
700
00:39:25,949 --> 00:39:30,539
Now, let's talk about
your next charitable donation.
701
00:39:32,459 --> 00:39:35,369
While Emerson Cod
was able to deliver good news...
702
00:39:35,539 --> 00:39:37,879
...Lily Charles sought to convince
her sister...
703
00:39:38,039 --> 00:39:41,879
...that the mysterious Dwight
was bad news.
704
00:39:45,969 --> 00:39:47,799
Holy crap.
705
00:39:47,969 --> 00:39:50,219
Lily knew Dwight dug up
her daughter's grave...
706
00:39:50,389 --> 00:39:54,139
...but she needed more proof
than overturned dirt.
707
00:39:54,729 --> 00:39:56,979
Lily had found the proof she sought.
708
00:39:57,149 --> 00:39:59,229
Dwight had in his possession...
709
00:39:59,399 --> 00:40:00,399
[LOCK RATTLING]
710
00:40:00,569 --> 00:40:02,609
...the watch
she believed was buried with Chuck.
711
00:40:10,159 --> 00:40:12,329
Dwight, believing
the girl-who-was-not-dead...
712
00:40:12,499 --> 00:40:14,579
...stole back the watch
he stole from her...
713
00:40:14,749 --> 00:40:19,329
...set off to retrieve his stolen,
stolen property.
714
00:40:30,889 --> 00:40:34,059
The girl named Chuck,
who had not been so lucky with death...
715
00:40:34,229 --> 00:40:36,599
...learned her death had come back
to haunt her...
716
00:40:36,770 --> 00:40:38,730
...in the form of Dwight Dixon.
717
00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:42,940
This left the Pie-Maker no choice.
718
00:40:43,110 --> 00:40:46,530
In order to unearth
Dwight Dixon's agenda...
719
00:40:46,700 --> 00:40:51,070
...he must first unearth
Chuck's father.
720
00:40:53,790 --> 00:40:56,370
I keep waiting for the high
to rush through my system.
721
00:40:56,540 --> 00:41:00,630
And instead, I feel
really nervous and uncomfortable.
722
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,750
An awkward hello, tender acceptance
and a rushed goodbye.
723
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:07,130
Euphoric high barely figures in it.
It's gonna be hard.
724
00:41:07,340 --> 00:41:10,470
I don't think I realized that,
and now it's too late to turn back.
725
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,640
It's not too late. We have options.
We could leave town.
726
00:41:13,850 --> 00:41:16,100
With Dwight knowing,
you're willing to put...
727
00:41:16,270 --> 00:41:19,230
...my emotional well-being
before your deepest fears.
728
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,980
If I knew, I never would have
alive-agained my mother.
729
00:41:22,150 --> 00:41:23,650
And I had her for seven hours.
730
00:41:23,820 --> 00:41:26,490
I'd rather chance Dwight
than make you go through this.
731
00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:31,490
When you lost your mother,
you were alone. I have you.
732
00:41:33,370 --> 00:41:38,500
You're the real swashbuckling do-gooder,
and I love you.
733
00:41:39,370 --> 00:41:42,580
I hope you still feel that way
when this is over.
734
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,310
You ready?
735
00:41:59,270 --> 00:42:00,690
I am ready, I think.
736
00:42:42,730 --> 00:42:45,730
[ENGLISH SDH]
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