Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:03,830
NARRATOR:
Previously on Pushing Daisies:
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,040
Charlotte's father, my lover,
was Vivian's fiancé.
3
00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:09,630
Vivian can never know.
4
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,000
Dwight Dixon. I was a friend
of your father's 25 years ago.
5
00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:15,840
-I'm trying to find him.
-I'm afraid we lost touch.
6
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,510
I'm Ralston, this is Maurice.
7
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,720
CHUCK: They have your eyebrows
and they do parlor magic.
8
00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:23,060
Loosen up, drop that baggage,
live a little.
9
00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:28,350
Hi, I'm Ned. I thought I'd stop by
because basically we have the same dad.
10
00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:42,530
NARRATOR: At this very moment
in the town of Couer d'Couers...
11
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:45,540
...young Ned believed in magic.
12
00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:48,540
It was not the magic
that sparked from his fingertip...
13
00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:51,250
...when he touched a dead thing
alive again.
14
00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:54,710
That particular magic
had not yet been discovered.
15
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:59,380
This was the magic of a father's love.
16
00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:05,100
Young Ned would discover
this magic was not magic at all.
17
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:06,560
Alakazam.
18
00:01:06,730 --> 00:01:08,560
It was just a trick.
19
00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:12,690
After Ned's mother died,
his father performed another trick.
20
00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:17,280
-A cruel disappearing act.
-I'll be back.
21
00:01:17,490 --> 00:01:23,280
And when his father never came back,
Ned stopped believing in magic.
22
00:01:23,490 --> 00:01:26,410
Young Ned discovered his father
would one day perform...
23
00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:29,580
...his sleights of hand
and misdirections for a younger...
24
00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:34,590
...more impressionable audience:
a new family that did not include Ned...
25
00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:38,380
...but did include his half brothers,
Maurice and Ralston.
26
00:01:38,590 --> 00:01:42,760
Maurice and Ralston loved their father
and delighted in his magical tricks...
27
00:01:42,930 --> 00:01:46,430
...and insisted
on learning every one of them.
28
00:01:48,930 --> 00:01:52,100
But there was one magic trick
their father never taught them...
29
00:01:52,310 --> 00:01:56,520
...and would only show them once:
a cruel disappearing act.
30
00:01:57,070 --> 00:02:01,990
It's 19 years, 42 weeks, 6 days,
13 hours and 7 minutes later.
31
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:07,080
Maurice and Ralston become
the illusionist duo "Two for the Show."
32
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:10,290
The mercurial world of magic
and its associations...
33
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:14,960
...had another effect on half brother
Ned, who could wake the dead.
34
00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:17,090
-Magicians?
BOTH: Illusionists.
35
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:18,800
At the mere mention of magic...
36
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:23,800
...he experienced the sting
of anxiety-induced acid reflux.
37
00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:27,430
-Who doesn't like magic?
-I love magic.
38
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,850
As much as I love
other popular entertainment...
39
00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:33,850
...like Boxarate Tae-Kill-Do cage-fighting
or monster trucks on ice.
40
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:37,320
To factions of the God-fearing
public, magic is the devil's work...
41
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,690
...you little devils.
Magically delicious little devils.
42
00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:43,320
-Mm-mm.
-Oh, I thought you were--
43
00:02:43,490 --> 00:02:47,490
-Magically delicious little devils.
-Mm-hm. Like a confection.
44
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:50,490
Inside one of these pies is a prize.
45
00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:53,580
But which one? This pie? That pie?
46
00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:57,080
-Pick a pie, any pie.
-That one. That one.
47
00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:03,010
You magically julienned the cherries.
48
00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:04,840
MAURICE:
But wait, there's more.
49
00:03:06,010 --> 00:03:07,970
-Oh, a magic show.
-A magic show.
50
00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:12,180
A magic show? Where did I put
that rat's ass I could give?
51
00:03:12,390 --> 00:03:14,230
Magic ain't nothing
but a voodoo grift.
52
00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:19,360
-Magic is as magical as you want it.
-He magically put tickets in that pie.
53
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:23,690
If you mean made you look that way so
you wouldn't see what they're doing...
54
00:03:23,860 --> 00:03:26,530
...then, yes, those tickets
alakazamed their way...
55
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:28,740
...underneath that delicious,
flaky crust.
56
00:03:28,910 --> 00:03:31,910
Or Hocus pulled the damn tickets
out of his pocket...
57
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,370
...and Pocus slid them in the pie pan...
58
00:03:34,620 --> 00:03:37,880
...as evidenced by the cherry-rhubarb
crumble on his sleeve.
59
00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:41,550
We perform after the performance
of the Great Herrmann.
60
00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:44,510
He's the big patriarch
of the Conjurer's Castle.
61
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,390
-And to us too.
-After Dad had to leave--
62
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,010
-Had to leave?
-Why else would he have left?
63
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:53,350
After Dad had to leave,
Herrmann was the next best thing.
64
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,640
Yay. Another magic dad.
65
00:03:56,850 --> 00:03:59,900
RALSTON: We'll introduce you
after the show, if you come to the show.
66
00:04:00,070 --> 00:04:02,440
-Will you come, big brother?
-Big half brother.
67
00:04:02,650 --> 00:04:06,150
Once removed by the fact you didn't
know I existed until last week.
68
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,240
I'd like to R.S.V.P.
in the resoundingly affirmative.
69
00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:12,870
-I thought magic was a voodoo grift.
-It is a voodoo grift.
70
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,910
But exposing these two
and their fairy-dust deceptions...
71
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:19,920
...will only hone my PI skills, much like
a brainteaser or Where's Waldo?
72
00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:24,590
-You're not invited if you heckle.
-But, shazam, I have a ticket.
73
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,420
I'll be there, front and center...
74
00:04:26,590 --> 00:04:29,930
...loud and applauding, or
praising the Lord. Whatever you'd like.
75
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,800
Applauding. Loud and applauding.
76
00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:34,810
And preferably amazed.
What do you say, Frère Pie-Maker?
77
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,560
Look, there's a ticket
with your name on it.
78
00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:39,730
Ohh.
79
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,870
[AUDIENCE CLAPPING]
80
00:04:57,620 --> 00:05:00,170
-You barely said a word to them.
-I barely know them.
81
00:05:00,330 --> 00:05:02,840
I saw them once, I was 9.
They were just bastards...
82
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,590
-...my father was cheating with.
-Those bastards are your little brothers.
83
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,470
You can't just flash some jazz hands
and then abracadabra, brotherly love.
84
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,680
There should be a grace period,
a getting-to-know-you period...
85
00:05:13,850 --> 00:05:16,680
...then dinner on a holiday.
I invite them to the Pie Hole.
86
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:20,140
And suddenly it's,
"Frère Pie-Maker, come to our show."
87
00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:22,270
It's a magic show.
88
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,020
What do you got against a magic show?
Sequins, drama...
89
00:05:25,230 --> 00:05:29,240
-...the promise of bloodshed.
-Next to pageants, they're my favorite.
90
00:05:29,450 --> 00:05:32,990
-They give me acid reflux.
-Oh, here. Suck a lozenge.
91
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:36,040
A magic lozenge, make me
forget they put on a magic show.
92
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,370
The same kind my dad put on.
What they pull...
93
00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:41,370
...out of their hats
isn't a rabbit, it's childhood trauma.
94
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:45,130
They're wearing it like a cape
and taking to the stage.
95
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,460
WOMAN: Oh, no.
MAN: Oh, no.
96
00:05:49,010 --> 00:05:52,130
I was just about to tell you
to shut up. Then you stopped...
97
00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:54,800
-... I didn't have to.
-Maurice, Ralston are family...
98
00:05:54,970 --> 00:05:56,850
...you didn't know.
I'd talk to Lily...
99
00:05:57,020 --> 00:06:00,980
...as the mother I didn't know I had,
I'd have a sea of questions.
100
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:05,560
-Don't you have a sea of questions?
-There may be a pond.
101
00:06:05,770 --> 00:06:09,820
-Then dive in.
-I'm not a diver, I'm a cautious swimmer.
102
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:14,200
I test the water with my big toe
and then gently wade into the shallows.
103
00:06:14,370 --> 00:06:18,830
NARRATOR: While the Pie-Maker insisted on
wading into the shallows of brotherly love...
104
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,330
...Chuck insisted
on diving into the depths...
105
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:24,540
...of a recent and strange revelation.
106
00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:28,550
Her Aunt Lily
was in fact her Mother Lily.
107
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:29,840
[PHONE RINGS]
108
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:32,930
Not satisfied hearing
such life-altering news secondhand...
109
00:06:33,090 --> 00:06:37,720
...Chuck wanted to hear the words
directly from her mother's lips.
110
00:06:37,890 --> 00:06:39,720
-Hello?
CHUCK [IN ENGLISH ACCENT]: Oh, hello.
111
00:06:39,890 --> 00:06:42,310
I'm from Livelong Day Life Insurance.
112
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:47,020
Now, we have an amazing Mother's Day
offer for women who have given birth.
113
00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:48,860
Now, may I ask, do you qualify for--
114
00:06:49,030 --> 00:06:50,900
[CLICK AND DIAL TONE]
115
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,700
CHUCK [IN FRENCH ACCENT]: Our
November cheese is rubbed with paprika.
116
00:06:54,910 --> 00:07:00,450
It is particularly appealing to the
woman who has had a baby.
117
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,750
Have you ever had a baby?
118
00:07:02,910 --> 00:07:04,120
[DIAL TONE]
119
00:07:04,370 --> 00:07:06,880
[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT]
You've been randomly selected to receive...
120
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,840
...your very own psychic reading--
121
00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:10,960
Hello?
122
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,930
Oh, no.
Here comes another magic dad.
123
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:20,430
CHUCK: Is that the Great Herrmann?
-Maybe he could be your magic dad too.
124
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:25,350
Already had a magic dad. It didn't
work out. I need another lozenge.
125
00:07:32,110 --> 00:07:34,610
Lozenge isn't working.
Stomach acids rising.
126
00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:36,990
As well as other contents of stomach.
127
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,410
-Are you the Pie-Maker?
-I'm a pie-maker.
128
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:45,120
Hello. Excuse me, excuse me. I feel I
should hug you. Can I give you a hug?
129
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:48,080
I'm hugging
and there's nothing you can do about it.
130
00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:50,540
-I want a hug.
-I'm not made of hugs.
131
00:07:50,710 --> 00:07:51,750
[CHUCKLES]
132
00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,970
Maurice and Ralston can't stop gushing.
I'm so grateful you came into their lives.
133
00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:58,640
You can take heat off me.
The boys are rather needy.
134
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:02,640
We'll talk about it later.
Pretty girl. Pretty girl.
135
00:08:02,890 --> 00:08:07,690
And you, I sense you are
a great investigator of things unsolved...
136
00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:10,400
...named after a poet and a fish.
137
00:08:10,610 --> 00:08:14,320
Mm-hm. I sense you better give me my
wallet before I make my foot disappear up--
138
00:08:14,490 --> 00:08:17,450
The boys tell me you're a heckler.
We don't play that way...
139
00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:20,950
...at the Conjurer's Castle,
so let's nip that in the bud, shall we?
140
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:24,500
Yeah? And how do you propose
we nip, Herman?
141
00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:28,330
It's Herrmann. And this is how we nip.
142
00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:30,960
Ever had your breath taken,
Emerson Cod?
143
00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:33,670
Leached from your lungs
by a cement mess...
144
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:37,300
-...crushing you in a deadly embrace?
-No.
145
00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:41,180
In just moments, I will be contorting
my shackled body into this box...
146
00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:45,060
...which will then be filled with Quick
and Hard brand quick-set cement...
147
00:08:45,230 --> 00:08:47,230
...and welded shut.
148
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:52,190
Demented and cemented,
I give you "Cementia."
149
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:57,530
If my shackles are secure, Mr. Cod,
then kindly return to the audience.
150
00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:01,410
Ah. Applause for Emerson Cod.
151
00:09:01,570 --> 00:09:03,280
[AUDIENCE CLAPS]
152
00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:06,200
Now you see me....
153
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:27,470
Emerson Cod. It was no accident
I chose you to volunteer.
154
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:31,350
I require your keen eye and investigation
of things in a personal matter.
155
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,560
Someone has been killing my assistants.
156
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:38,240
I invite you tonight
to solve their murders.
157
00:09:39,070 --> 00:09:42,240
I live to amaze another day.
158
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:46,410
NARRATOR:
But not another day after that.
159
00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:56,550
Her name was Alice. Tonight would've
been our 200th performance together.
160
00:09:56,710 --> 00:10:00,220
I found her just like this.
Except over there.
161
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:05,350
-You turned your assistant into a bunny?
-My assistant has always been a bunny.
162
00:10:05,510 --> 00:10:10,770
-I just wanted to see if he knew that.
-Alice was murdered. Like the others.
163
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:14,690
Fred and Ginger were impaled
when a rigging in my coat misfired.
164
00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:19,030
They would fly out of my pockets
in a puff of glitter and birdseed...
165
00:10:19,190 --> 00:10:21,530
...as I strummed
a chirping slide guitar.
166
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,620
And Mercury, sweet Mercury.
167
00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:28,040
Mercury loved performing
with balloons and children.
168
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,200
That's when he was happiest of all.
169
00:10:30,410 --> 00:10:34,460
And now he's dead.
Bludgeoned by a falling sandbag.
170
00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:36,630
Who would want to kill
all your animals?
171
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:41,380
We can appreciate and sympathize with
your predicament, Mister Herrmann--
172
00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:44,970
-Please, call me Great.
-No. We're private detectives...
173
00:10:45,140 --> 00:10:47,470
...not pet detectives.
It'd sully my reputation...
174
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,600
...as an expert in the field
if I were investigating...
175
00:10:50,770 --> 00:10:53,690
...missing pussycats
or dead bunny rabbits.
176
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:55,900
I wanna help missing pussies
and bunnies.
177
00:10:56,110 --> 00:11:00,320
I'm curious. Do pet detectives
get paid more than the other kind?
178
00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:04,610
Pet detectives get paid a whole lot more.
So you need to get to prestidigitating...
179
00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:08,410
...a little more green
if you wanna get serious.
180
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:14,670
HERRMANN: Blow on my hands.
-Man, give me my damn money.
181
00:11:15,210 --> 00:11:16,710
[BLOWING]
182
00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:22,340
HERRMANN:
Now, if you'll excuse me...
183
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:26,220
...the county bridge-and-tunnel folk
have arrived for the 9:00.
184
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:30,930
Great? I never got to ask.
185
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:33,850
How exactly
do you know Maurice and Ralston?
186
00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:38,690
I was there when their father left. Your
father left. Had good seats to that show.
187
00:11:38,860 --> 00:11:41,190
I was the dress rehearsal.
The show sucked then.
188
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,610
What do you tell kids
you've never met...
189
00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:46,700
...that their dad just dropped them
like they were hot?
190
00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:49,780
-You can't sugarcoat that turd.
-No. Not effectively.
191
00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:52,370
-What did you tell them?
-What they wanted to hear.
192
00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:56,120
Dad was an important man with
important-man matters to attend to.
193
00:11:56,330 --> 00:12:00,130
Blah, blah, blah, please stop crying.
194
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:04,210
Did their-- My dad,
say anything to you?
195
00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:07,050
What's he gonna say?
"The boys'll be hungry in an hour"?
196
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:11,220
He was ditching the kids
at a Sunday matinee, for Christmas sake.
197
00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:15,060
-Thanks for looking out for them.
-Didn't have any other choice.
198
00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:18,520
Every day after school they'd pop by
looking to be taught...
199
00:12:18,690 --> 00:12:21,400
...some new magic trick
or play with my monkey.
200
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:26,700
Heed this warning. Establish
very clear boundaries early and often.
201
00:12:26,910 --> 00:12:29,070
I guess they just needed a father.
202
00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:33,700
Son, ever feed a stray pussycat?
It was like that.
203
00:12:33,910 --> 00:12:36,080
You love the pussycat,
and I love those boys.
204
00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:41,500
But that plate of tasty pâté
with a tuna sauce was not a promise.
205
00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:47,170
NARRATOR: It was the promise
of sisterly devotion that concerned Lily.
206
00:12:47,340 --> 00:12:50,760
Thirty years, nine months ago,
Lily broke that promise...
207
00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:54,310
...when she was impregnated
by her sister Vivian's fiancé.
208
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:58,940
Lily lived in fear that one day
Vivian would discover her betrayal...
209
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:01,520
...and settle her hash. And today...
210
00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:06,360
...that hash-settling day
has come one day closer.
211
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:14,450
-Who the hell are you?
-Who the hell he was, was Dwight Dixon.
212
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:16,200
In his youth, Dwight Dixon...
213
00:13:16,370 --> 00:13:20,370
...brandished the blue beret
of the United Nations Peacekeepers.
214
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:23,460
Together with Chuck's father
and the Pie-Maker's father...
215
00:13:23,630 --> 00:13:26,090
...Dwight performed
tasks of peace enforcement...
216
00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:30,720
...and, in the process, learned many
things about his brothers in arms.
217
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:34,810
Some things
Lily would rather he not know.
218
00:13:34,970 --> 00:13:36,640
Charles kept a picture of you.
219
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:39,940
You were a mermaid
sitting in the cradle of a giant fishhook...
220
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:45,480
...with a clamshell brassiere
and the tail of a mackerel.
221
00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:48,940
-I don't think we were ever mackerels.
-You were always a mackerel.
222
00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:51,950
-Whenever I saw that picture, I'd say--
-"Holy mackerel."
223
00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:54,910
I heard that one
coming from around the corner.
224
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:59,750
-It was wearing tap shoes.
-Charles never told me you were witty.
225
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,420
Probably the only thing
he never told me about you.
226
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:07,090
Boy, did he talk about you.
When he wasn't talking about this one...
227
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:09,340
...which was 99.9 percent of the time.
228
00:14:09,510 --> 00:14:12,010
I'm quite the conversation piece.
229
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:16,890
When you opened that door, I got a
Rock'em Sock'em Robot "pow" to the chin.
230
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:20,140
Now I know why Charles
always regretted...
231
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:22,730
...letting another woman
come between the two of you.
232
00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:26,690
VIVIAN: He broke my heart.
-Charles broke a lot of hearts.
233
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:31,030
But he only got his broken once.
Knocked him for a doozy too.
234
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:35,660
Do you have a point to this visit? Or did
you just stop by for snorts and giggles?
235
00:14:35,870 --> 00:14:38,950
The giggles are raisins in my
oatmeal. I'm here for something.
236
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,710
A common brass pocket watch.
It belonged to Charles...
237
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,380
...hence it had a C.C.
engraved on the back. It looked...
238
00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:50,210
...a lot like this one, which is mine,
hence the D.D. We all got them...
239
00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:53,050
-...in the service.
-I don't recall a pocket watch.
240
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:55,970
-Vivian, maybe--?
-She doesn't recall either.
241
00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:58,720
Well, pocket watch
or no pocket watch...
242
00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:02,390
... I think I can tell
when it's time for me to go.
243
00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:06,190
-I'll get your coat.
-Thank you.
244
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:11,650
I'm not gonna say anything to Vivian
about what you did. That'd be cruel.
245
00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:14,820
Not as cruel as what you did,
but no need to quantify pain.
246
00:15:15,030 --> 00:15:17,030
Don't come for me, fella, I fight dirty.
247
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,490
Oh, I don't wanna fight.
I need to change your perception of me.
248
00:15:20,660 --> 00:15:23,830
Let's sit down and tear a pheasant
together. You, me, your sister.
249
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,250
If I see you again, it won't be
pheasant I'll be tearing.
250
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:30,750
Oh, Tabasco.
You sure are a spicy cocktail.
251
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:36,390
NARRATOR: While Lily was giving Dwight
the stink eye with the only eye she had...
252
00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:41,060
...her sister, Vivian, had set her eyes
on something much sweeter.
253
00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:45,440
A confection she hadn't tasted
in quite some time.
254
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:48,270
A date.
255
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,360
As Herrmann took to the stage
for his second performance...
256
00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:59,530
-...of the night...
-Now you see me....
257
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,620
...a murder investigation
was being performed...
258
00:16:06,790 --> 00:16:09,630
...under the proscenium arch
of his dressing room.
259
00:16:09,790 --> 00:16:12,090
Poor Mercury.
260
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:15,630
-I wish you could tell us who did you in.
NED: He's a monkey.
261
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,930
Barring evolutionary leaps
unheard of, the monkey can't talk.
262
00:16:19,140 --> 00:16:21,720
He's also dead,
which is why he really can't talk.
263
00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:23,600
-That's true too.
CHUCK: Alice can talk.
264
00:16:23,810 --> 00:16:26,390
She's got burns on her lips
and ulcers on her tongue.
265
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,310
She's telling us she was poisoned.
266
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,770
We got a monkey
flattened by a sandbag.
267
00:16:30,940 --> 00:16:33,570
Means the killer
knows their way around backstage.
268
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:37,280
We've got two doves, impaled by
bad taste and a malfunctioning coat gag.
269
00:16:37,450 --> 00:16:39,820
Killer knows
how the Great Herrmann's tricks work.
270
00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:42,620
Alice ate the lettuce
off the Great Herrmann's BLT.
271
00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:45,450
-Killer knows how to make a sandwich.
-Lettuce was...
272
00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:48,670
...to stay on the sandwich
and be eaten by the Great Herrmann.
273
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:52,500
The falling sandbag, rigged jacket.
Killer wasn't trying to kill animals.
274
00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:54,880
Killer was trying to kill
the Great Herrmann.
275
00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:56,170
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
276
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,480
He didn't get out.
He didn't get out.
277
00:17:09,850 --> 00:17:11,690
MAN:
Pull. It's still kind of wet.
278
00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:13,440
Isn't it funny how easy it is...
279
00:17:13,610 --> 00:17:16,690
...to remain calm
when everyone else is freaking out?
280
00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:27,540
NARRATOR: Sadly, the Great Herrmann
had failed to escape his Great Escape.
281
00:17:27,710 --> 00:17:31,040
His untimely expiration
was deemed by the authorities...
282
00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:35,250
...to be accidental death
due to aggravated "Cementia."
283
00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:36,840
RALSTON:
This wasn't an accident.
284
00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:39,260
Herrmann performed that trick
a thousand times.
285
00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:41,340
What'd he do
with all the cement blocks?
286
00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:45,010
Donated them to Papen County
Marine Institute to create artificial reefs.
287
00:17:45,180 --> 00:17:48,600
The Great Herrmann had a fan base
of barnacles, corals and oysters.
288
00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:53,730
Well, tonight, the invertebrates
of the sea will mourn his loss.
289
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:57,570
Poor Herrmann. And Fred and Ginger
and Alice and Mercury.
290
00:17:57,740 --> 00:17:59,070
I want them all avenged.
291
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,780
I'm sorry but now that everyone's
calmed down, I'm freaking out.
292
00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:06,240
-I think it's the animal cruelty.
NED: Don't freak out. I know a dog...
293
00:18:06,490 --> 00:18:08,950
...and pig that haven't
been impaled or poisoned.
294
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:13,290
-They need to be fed, loved and walked.
-Maybe I'll go do that right now.
295
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:16,340
I'm sorry about your next-best-thing
magic dad.
296
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,260
And I'm...
297
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,970
-... I'm sorry about yours too.
-Um....
298
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,640
He wasn't my-- He didn't-- We didn't
have that kind of relationship.
299
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:31,940
Although he did put his hand
on my shoulder and call me son...
300
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,440
...which felt like someone
rubbed feet on a rug...
301
00:18:34,610 --> 00:18:37,150
...reached into my chest
and gave my heart a pop.
302
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:41,440
-I always love that static-electric pop.
-It's all very confusing.
303
00:18:41,610 --> 00:18:46,280
There's murdered magic dads and
promise of tasty pâté with tuna sauce.
304
00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:49,660
What do you think you were saying?
Ain't what came out your mouth.
305
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:54,460
What I'm saying,
I need to say to them.
306
00:18:56,590 --> 00:18:59,170
I'm gonna take care of this.
Herrmann will be avenged.
307
00:18:59,340 --> 00:19:01,970
I don't mean vigilante.
What example would that be?
308
00:19:02,130 --> 00:19:04,930
I mean regular
go-to-jail-for-your-crimes justice.
309
00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:07,930
You gonna kick someone's ass,
Frère Pie-Maker?
310
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:11,810
Yes. I'm gonna kick someone's ass.
311
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:14,100
NARRATOR: And the ass-kicking
would commence...
312
00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:16,610
...with the ass that poured the cement.
313
00:19:16,810 --> 00:19:18,820
I gave Herrmann
plenty of time to get out.
314
00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:20,610
-Why didn't he?
ALEXANDRIA: I don't know.
315
00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:23,650
It's cramped. Maybe
he got a blood clot and passed out.
316
00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:26,160
-How'd he usually get out?
-He doesn't tell me.
317
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,490
The monkey knows
more about his tricks.
318
00:19:28,660 --> 00:19:30,330
-The dead monkey?
-The dead monkey.
319
00:19:30,490 --> 00:19:32,450
You gonna try
and pin that on me too?
320
00:19:32,620 --> 00:19:34,960
-What about Fred and Ginger?
-The rabbit.
321
00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:37,830
Alice was the only one I liked.
Damn monkey was mean.
322
00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:41,340
And those birds,
those horrible birds. Every time...
323
00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:43,840
...they fly out his pockets
they attack my weave.
324
00:19:44,090 --> 00:19:46,340
Animals attack, you attack.
Then kill the guy...
325
00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:50,010
-...who trained them to attack.
-No. I stand there humiliated...
326
00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:53,850
...by a mean monkey
night after night for eight years.
327
00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:56,190
I told myself three,
but it's been eight.
328
00:19:56,350 --> 00:19:59,520
I stand and take it, hoping
the Great Herrmann will make good...
329
00:19:59,690 --> 00:20:02,480
...on the carrot he's been dangling
and give me my own act.
330
00:20:02,690 --> 00:20:05,200
Eight years of dangling
while the twins pass you by?
331
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,910
You been spurned.
And next to the spurned lover...
332
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:12,040
...the spurned employee rides shotgun
on the homicide chuck wagon.
333
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,080
Herrmann and anyone he shared
a stage with ended up dead.
334
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:18,710
-Except you.
-Which means you're the killer, killer.
335
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:24,420
Or I'm next.
Or it was an accident and no one's next.
336
00:20:24,670 --> 00:20:26,840
Also, you're wrong.
337
00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:30,220
Someone else shared the stage
with the Great Herrmann.
338
00:20:30,390 --> 00:20:31,640
The Geek.
339
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,390
So you like the comic books
and action figures?
340
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:37,940
He bites heads off chickens.
341
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:42,070
Oh, animal rights groups put a stop
to that kind of geek a long time ago.
342
00:20:42,650 --> 00:20:45,740
Performers dressing up as savages
and eating live animals.
343
00:20:45,950 --> 00:20:49,030
It's tacky and a sure-fire way
to alienate your audience.
344
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:53,540
I eat glass and nails
and regurgitate fish, frogs and mice.
345
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,870
I'm working my way up to a kitten.
346
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,750
Regurgitating a kitten?
That's a unique talent.
347
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,290
I trained my body
to do the extraordinary.
348
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,920
My first job was as a plant in Herrmann's
audience. That's how we met.
349
00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:08,930
He'd pretend to hypnotize me
and then under his spell...
350
00:21:09,090 --> 00:21:11,720
... I'd drink a bottle of beer
and then eat the bottle.
351
00:21:11,890 --> 00:21:13,970
We were like a father-and-son act.
352
00:21:14,180 --> 00:21:15,930
What were you
and your tummy doing...
353
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:17,890
...when Herrmann
was getting cemented?
354
00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:21,100
I was walking the crowd.
I pickpocket rings, watches and keys...
355
00:21:21,270 --> 00:21:23,610
...and then regurgitate them later
in my act.
356
00:21:23,770 --> 00:21:26,690
With all that happened,
I forgot to give some of them back.
357
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:28,610
Listen for yourself.
358
00:21:30,450 --> 00:21:33,120
Oh. Did you swallow a magnet?
359
00:21:33,330 --> 00:21:36,120
Somebody must've had one
in their pocket.
360
00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:38,790
That's an amazing talent, Mr. Geek.
361
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,080
Herrmann was the only one who had
respect for my contribution.
362
00:21:42,290 --> 00:21:44,210
Any idea why he couldn't get out?
363
00:21:44,420 --> 00:21:47,420
Can't say. I bet the Great Herrmann
is in there right now...
364
00:21:47,590 --> 00:21:51,090
...striking some Last Days of Pompeii
pose that's gonna tell you...
365
00:21:51,260 --> 00:21:54,300
-...everything you need to know.
NARRATOR: While the investigators...
366
00:21:54,470 --> 00:21:58,770
...continued to ponder why
the Great Herrmann did not get out...
367
00:22:00,940 --> 00:22:05,820
...Olive Snook was about to ponder
how someone else did.
368
00:22:05,980 --> 00:22:07,030
[DOOR CHIMES]
369
00:22:07,190 --> 00:22:11,530
We're closed. Vivian. You're out.
I thought we had agreed...
370
00:22:11,740 --> 00:22:15,240
...you'd call before dropping by,
which would be expected had you called.
371
00:22:15,450 --> 00:22:18,500
I couldn't risk sending a message
and Lily intercepting it.
372
00:22:18,660 --> 00:22:21,000
This has to be covert.
373
00:22:21,170 --> 00:22:25,130
I'm on a date with a man.
374
00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:27,170
Oh, evening.
375
00:22:28,130 --> 00:22:30,170
Evening.
376
00:22:30,340 --> 00:22:33,180
DWIGHT: We walked out of that
sandstorm with our boots, berets...
377
00:22:33,340 --> 00:22:36,300
...and our pocket watches,
with no pockets to put them in.
378
00:22:36,470 --> 00:22:37,810
[LAUGHING]
379
00:22:37,970 --> 00:22:41,180
We made a spit pact
like in the Boy Scouts.
380
00:22:41,390 --> 00:22:44,020
Last one alive
takes them watches into the desert...
381
00:22:44,190 --> 00:22:48,360
-...and lets the sandstorm claim them.
-That's so very romantic.
382
00:22:48,530 --> 00:22:52,070
And poetic. And you certainly
took your time to come calling.
383
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,030
Charles has been dead for 20 years.
384
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,910
I've been in prison for 22.
385
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,580
-Emotional or federal?
-I'm gonna say yes to both.
386
00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:01,370
I can only say yes to one.
387
00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:05,170
-Must seem a little less romantic now.
-Oh, no.
388
00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:06,880
On the contrary.
389
00:23:07,550 --> 00:23:11,010
I knew what kind of man Charles was,
and the way you tell it...
390
00:23:11,170 --> 00:23:14,380
...you boys sound more like bandits
than peacekeepers.
391
00:23:14,550 --> 00:23:16,550
We were a little of both.
392
00:23:17,050 --> 00:23:19,260
About Charles' pocket watch...
393
00:23:19,430 --> 00:23:23,230
... I do recall it. So does Lily.
I don't know why she lied to you.
394
00:23:23,390 --> 00:23:26,730
-I think she wanted you to leave.
-If Lily wants to keep that watch...
395
00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:28,520
-...she should.
-She didn't.
396
00:23:28,730 --> 00:23:32,440
We buried it with our niece,
"Lonely Tourist" Charlotte Charles.
397
00:23:32,610 --> 00:23:35,410
It was her father's.
We wanted her to have it.
398
00:23:35,570 --> 00:23:39,700
That poor girl murdered on a Tahitian
getaway. That was Charles' little girl?
399
00:23:39,910 --> 00:23:42,950
Lily is sensitive when it comes
to Charlotte.
400
00:23:43,540 --> 00:23:45,620
Of course she is.
401
00:23:45,830 --> 00:23:47,130
She lost her daughter.
402
00:23:47,380 --> 00:23:50,130
-Niece.
-I know what the relationship is.
403
00:23:50,340 --> 00:23:54,970
I'm just saying,
I think you both lost a daughter.
404
00:23:55,130 --> 00:23:58,390
You raised the girl. How could you not
feel like she's your own?
405
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:03,770
I'm glad the pocket watch
is with Charlotte.
406
00:24:03,980 --> 00:24:08,310
NARRATOR: Because now he knew
where to find it, or so he thought.
407
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,270
Just as our private investigators
thought they knew...
408
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:11,480
[DRILLING]
409
00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:14,860
...where to find the Great Herrmann.
410
00:24:15,070 --> 00:24:16,740
Where's the Great Herrmann?
411
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,080
Give me that.
412
00:24:23,950 --> 00:24:25,290
Now you see me...
413
00:24:25,460 --> 00:24:29,630
"And now you don't. Double kisses,
double hugs, the Great Herrmann."
414
00:24:29,790 --> 00:24:31,880
Son of a bitch.
415
00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:39,970
It was a disappearing act.
416
00:24:40,140 --> 00:24:41,510
Now you see him...
417
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:42,810
...now you don't.
418
00:24:43,020 --> 00:24:46,270
The good news is, he's still alive.
Somewhere.
419
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,770
-Why would Herrmann disappear?
-I'm sure he wouldn't unless he had to.
420
00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:53,150
He's important. He probably had
important-man matters to attend to.
421
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,650
-Oh.
-That's what Herrmann told us.
422
00:24:55,820 --> 00:24:59,280
That's why I said, "Oh." It was an
attempt to corral those words back.
423
00:24:59,490 --> 00:25:01,530
What did Herrmann tell you?
424
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:03,160
About when Dad left?
425
00:25:03,330 --> 00:25:04,830
Did he say why Dad had to leave?
426
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,790
He told me what he told you.
427
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,330
Did he tell you anything
he didn't tell us?
428
00:25:10,540 --> 00:25:12,840
There may have been select details.
429
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,840
NARRATOR:
The facts were these:
430
00:25:15,010 --> 00:25:20,510
On a cool autumn day, 9 years,
48 weeks, 26 days and 7 hours earlier...
431
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:24,010
...Maurice and Ralston's father
promised them a magic show...
432
00:25:24,180 --> 00:25:26,220
...they would never forget.
433
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:30,520
A new magician, cleverly billed
as Herman Gunt's Magic Express...
434
00:25:30,690 --> 00:25:32,940
...called for a volunteer.
435
00:25:34,020 --> 00:25:37,990
"I'll be back," dear Dad said.
436
00:25:48,710 --> 00:25:51,330
[AUDIENCE GASPING AND CLAPPING]
437
00:26:01,510 --> 00:26:03,300
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
438
00:26:03,550 --> 00:26:07,100
The fledgling magician tried to comfort
the fatherless boys...
439
00:26:07,270 --> 00:26:12,900
...with vague-but-important motives
behind their dear dad's disappearance.
440
00:26:13,980 --> 00:26:19,490
The twins' fragile hearts gladly believed
in the illusion of his words.
441
00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:21,610
Until now.
442
00:26:22,530 --> 00:26:26,080
He wasn't important. He didn't have
important-man matters to attend to.
443
00:26:26,290 --> 00:26:27,540
Your dad--
444
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:32,210
Our dad was just some guy ditching
his kids at a Sunday matinee.
445
00:26:32,420 --> 00:26:35,750
That's what Herrmann told me.
That's what he didn't tell you.
446
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,090
He didn't wanna hurt you any more
than you had already been hurt.
447
00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:42,010
-You didn't have a problem telling us.
-Yeah.
448
00:26:42,220 --> 00:26:45,640
In my defense, you badgered me
and considerable time has passed.
449
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,140
Probably sound like some
missionary showing up...
450
00:26:48,310 --> 00:26:53,230
...telling the natives they're worshiping
a false god, but you kind of are.
451
00:26:53,730 --> 00:26:56,110
He left three sons.
452
00:26:56,270 --> 00:26:57,900
There really isn't a good excuse.
453
00:26:58,110 --> 00:27:01,280
Did Herrmann tell you Ralston wet
himself when Dad disappeared?
454
00:27:01,450 --> 00:27:04,950
It was years before we could perform
a disappearing act without a mop.
455
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:06,530
Why would you say that?
456
00:27:06,740 --> 00:27:09,490
I get anxiety-induced acid reflux
at the mention of magic.
457
00:27:09,660 --> 00:27:11,330
Ralston, you wet yourself.
458
00:27:11,580 --> 00:27:14,330
We're two grown men
with dad-related body-fluid issues.
459
00:27:14,540 --> 00:27:18,420
I can't suck lozenges for the rest of my
life and you can't wear adult diapers.
460
00:27:18,630 --> 00:27:22,800
-I learned to control my bladder.
-Oh. Good for you.
461
00:27:22,970 --> 00:27:25,840
I know my acid reflux
is just heartburn.
462
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:27,930
And your heart's burning too.
463
00:27:28,100 --> 00:27:30,100
Look at the way
you're holding that scarf.
464
00:27:30,270 --> 00:27:33,100
You're not clinging to Herrmann,
you're clinging to Dad.
465
00:27:33,270 --> 00:27:35,310
Holding tighter isn't gonna
bring him back.
466
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,270
It's not gonna bring
either of them back.
467
00:27:41,820 --> 00:27:42,940
Where's the rest of it?
468
00:27:43,150 --> 00:27:45,950
Wasn't it in that block of cement
with Herrmann's note?
469
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:50,450
Yeah, it probably should've been, huh?
470
00:27:51,830 --> 00:27:54,370
The Great Herrmann is dead.
He died from "Cementia"...
471
00:27:54,580 --> 00:27:57,670
...on-stage, with the rest
of this scarf around his neck.
472
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,170
I knew I shouldn't have came in here.
I knew it.
473
00:28:00,340 --> 00:28:04,010
Should have took my ass home, turned
off my phone and got under the covers.
474
00:28:04,170 --> 00:28:05,170
But, no.
475
00:28:05,340 --> 00:28:07,010
Someone switched the blocks.
476
00:28:07,180 --> 00:28:08,640
It's classic sleight of hand.
477
00:28:08,850 --> 00:28:11,390
Herrmann was that little ball
under the coconut shell.
478
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,890
Someone shuffled the shells around
and we looked under the wrong one.
479
00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:18,520
There were two performances
of "Cementia." So two blocks.
480
00:28:18,690 --> 00:28:21,820
Killer shuffles the blocks,
hides the one with Herrmann in it...
481
00:28:21,980 --> 00:28:25,400
...and everybody thinks the great
Great disappeared into his act.
482
00:28:25,650 --> 00:28:28,410
And no body, no murder.
483
00:28:28,620 --> 00:28:30,490
Makes for a great urban legend, though.
484
00:28:30,660 --> 00:28:33,410
How do you shuffle
a 500-pound block of cement?
485
00:28:33,660 --> 00:28:37,000
Forklift. Only one block of cement
was forklifted out tonight.
486
00:28:37,170 --> 00:28:38,880
Which means the other one is inside.
487
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:42,210
The switch had to happen between
the stage and the loading dock...
488
00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:45,130
...when people weren't watching
the blocks too carefully.
489
00:28:45,380 --> 00:28:49,220
NARRATOR: Using metal detectors to detect
the metal of the shackles worn...
490
00:28:49,390 --> 00:28:52,560
...by the Great Herrmann while
performing "Cementia"...
491
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,680
..."Two for the Show"
featuring Olive Snook...
492
00:28:55,890 --> 00:28:57,890
...began their search at the loading dock.
493
00:28:58,060 --> 00:28:59,730
OLIVE:
I always loved a good treasure hunt.
494
00:28:59,900 --> 00:29:03,730
The private investigator, the Pie-Maker
and Chuck began their search...
495
00:29:03,900 --> 00:29:04,900
...under the stage.
496
00:29:05,070 --> 00:29:07,900
CHUCK: Might not be the cement.
We could chisel open that block...
497
00:29:08,070 --> 00:29:10,780
...and find a murder weapon.
Like a Mojave rattlesnake...
498
00:29:10,950 --> 00:29:15,700
...or a needle Herrmann unknowingly
injected himself with whilst contorting.
499
00:29:15,870 --> 00:29:18,870
Or we chisel open that block
and find he drowned in cement.
500
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:20,750
CHUCK:
Well, when we do chisel it open...
501
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,750
...it's too bad Maurice and Ralston
can't talk to the Great Herrmann.
502
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:26,880
They didn't get a chance
to say goodbye.
503
00:29:27,050 --> 00:29:28,590
The boo-hoo bosom done dried up.
504
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,840
Well, my boo-hoo bosom is plump
and brimming with milk.
505
00:29:32,010 --> 00:29:33,050
Yuck.
506
00:29:33,260 --> 00:29:37,230
CHUCK: A small conversation can go a long
way, even under the falsest of pretenses.
507
00:29:37,390 --> 00:29:39,770
NED: Have you been
crank calling Lily again?
508
00:29:39,940 --> 00:29:41,480
Not recently.
509
00:29:41,690 --> 00:29:44,610
Although that does depend
on how you define recently.
510
00:29:44,780 --> 00:29:46,900
Woman, don't you know
people have caller ID?
511
00:29:47,110 --> 00:29:48,280
[BEEPS]
512
00:29:48,450 --> 00:29:51,280
Oh, there's something
underneath these floorboards.
513
00:29:56,410 --> 00:29:57,950
I give you "Cementia."
514
00:29:58,210 --> 00:30:01,120
Herrmann slid right off the stage
and dropped into this...
515
00:30:01,290 --> 00:30:03,130
...strategically jackhammered grave.
516
00:30:03,290 --> 00:30:06,630
Of all the ways to have your
body stashed, this one's not so terrible.
517
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:10,470
Maybe the killer wanted Herrmann to be
part of the Conjurer's Castle forever.
518
00:30:10,630 --> 00:30:13,590
If the killer cared, you'd think
he'd break out his trowel...
519
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,220
...make the thing look nice. Look at
those edges. He gotta fill this in.
520
00:30:17,430 --> 00:30:21,310
Lord knows there's enough
cement in the house.
521
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,100
[THUMPING]
522
00:30:23,270 --> 00:30:24,690
[WHIRS]
523
00:30:24,860 --> 00:30:27,650
Did someone just turn on
the cement mixer?
524
00:30:33,450 --> 00:30:35,320
Maybe it's Olive and the boys.
525
00:30:35,490 --> 00:30:37,030
Maybe what's Olive and the boys?
526
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,290
-Whoever turned on the cement mixer.
-You found Herrmann.
527
00:30:40,460 --> 00:30:42,210
EMERSON:
Whoever dropped his block in there...
528
00:30:42,370 --> 00:30:45,500
...is back to make sure Herrmann
is part of the castle forever.
529
00:30:45,670 --> 00:30:47,800
-That's his killer?
-That's his killer?
530
00:30:48,670 --> 00:30:51,670
No, no. Fools rush in.
We're not fools.
531
00:30:53,010 --> 00:30:54,840
Over there.
532
00:30:55,050 --> 00:30:57,850
-They sprang like attack monkeys.
-I'll take care of them.
533
00:30:58,020 --> 00:30:59,350
You take care of him.
534
00:30:59,930 --> 00:31:01,270
Do either of you have a gun?
535
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:02,980
-No.
-No.
536
00:31:03,150 --> 00:31:05,020
I'm going with Emerson.
537
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,820
Hey. Don't be going around chasing
murder suspects willy-nilly.
538
00:31:09,990 --> 00:31:12,570
What you gonna do?
Use your Wonder Twin powers?
539
00:31:15,370 --> 00:31:18,370
OLIVE:
Wait for me. Oh!
540
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,540
-Emerson. In here.
EMERSON: What?
541
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,540
Oh, is he dead?
542
00:31:25,710 --> 00:31:29,000
That's the Geek. He eats glass
and swallows small animals.
543
00:31:29,170 --> 00:31:30,340
What's that up his nose?
544
00:31:30,550 --> 00:31:33,590
Maybe it's a small animal
trying to crawl to freedom.
545
00:31:40,390 --> 00:31:45,100
Oh, no, that's all the way up in there.
He's dead. Yeah. He's gone.
546
00:31:46,150 --> 00:31:47,560
[SCREAMS]
547
00:31:48,730 --> 00:31:52,610
You killed Herrmann, buried him in the
floor and then you snuck back in here...
548
00:31:52,820 --> 00:31:56,160
...so you could seal the deal with
some more of your cement handiwork.
549
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,490
But you got surprised by the Geek
and then you killed him too.
550
00:31:59,700 --> 00:32:03,370
Is that how you're gonna frame me
after you beat me with metal detectors?
551
00:32:03,580 --> 00:32:04,910
I am an unarmed woman.
552
00:32:05,170 --> 00:32:07,250
Calibrate those things
to find your manhood.
553
00:32:07,420 --> 00:32:11,420
If you didn't kill anybody and you ain't
running around here burying bodies...
554
00:32:11,590 --> 00:32:14,090
-...what you doing here?
-Packing.
555
00:32:14,260 --> 00:32:16,930
The universe killed Herrmann
to send me a message.
556
00:32:17,180 --> 00:32:20,430
And that message is eight years is
long enough to wait for a carrot.
557
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:24,100
My associates is out digging
up that carrot you been trying to bury.
558
00:32:24,270 --> 00:32:26,770
We gonna see what the universe
has to say about that.
559
00:32:26,940 --> 00:32:29,770
NARRATOR: As Emerson Cod
chiseled away at his suspect...
560
00:32:29,940 --> 00:32:34,400
...the Pie-Maker and Chuck
chiseled away at the Great Herrmann.
561
00:32:34,570 --> 00:32:36,700
I live to amaze another day.
562
00:32:36,860 --> 00:32:41,120
No, you live to amaze another minute.
You've been crushed by "Cementia."
563
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:42,870
I was hoping that didn't happen.
564
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,080
How am I talking right now
and not dead?
565
00:32:45,290 --> 00:32:46,750
-Magic.
-It's a family trait.
566
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,790
Must have gotten it from your father.
567
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,130
And that's some potent kung fu.
568
00:32:51,290 --> 00:32:55,550
I know that asking a magician to reveal
the secret behind his escape is rude--
569
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,050
Then don't do it. Nobody likes rude.
570
00:32:58,260 --> 00:33:00,470
-It could help us catch your killer.
-Ah.
571
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,260
Magic man to magic man.
Plug your ears.
572
00:33:03,890 --> 00:33:07,940
NARRATOR: Magic man to magic man,
the Great Herrmann detailed the facts...
573
00:33:08,100 --> 00:33:10,480
...of the escape that wasn't.
574
00:33:10,650 --> 00:33:14,230
It was not magic that got the
Great Herrmann out of his box...
575
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,650
...but a series of trap doors.
576
00:33:16,820 --> 00:33:21,320
But a magnet concealed in his shoe
was not underfoot.
577
00:33:24,370 --> 00:33:26,000
[YELLS]
578
00:33:27,620 --> 00:33:30,710
Magnets in your shoes?
That's the secret to your greatest trick?
579
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:34,170
I could've lied to you. Told you
it was force fields or telekinesis.
580
00:33:34,340 --> 00:33:37,920
Somebody snatched the magnets out of
my shoes while I wasn't wearing them.
581
00:33:38,090 --> 00:33:40,260
Do you have any last words,
or regrets...
582
00:33:40,430 --> 00:33:43,640
...or something you'd maybe like
to say to Maurice and Ralston?
583
00:33:43,810 --> 00:33:45,850
Something I'd like them to have.
584
00:33:46,100 --> 00:33:47,850
My freezer has a false bottom.
585
00:33:48,020 --> 00:33:51,770
Inside, you'll find my magic book
of magic tricks and illusions.
586
00:33:51,980 --> 00:33:54,360
Give it to Maurice and Ralston.
I'd like to keep it in the family.
587
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:55,570
[WATCH BEEPS]
588
00:33:55,730 --> 00:33:56,820
Time for my next trick.
589
00:33:57,030 --> 00:33:59,950
With a bit of showmanship,
if you don't mind.
590
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,030
Now you see me....
591
00:34:02,740 --> 00:34:05,330
There were supposed to
be magnets in Herrmann's shoes.
592
00:34:05,540 --> 00:34:07,830
That's how he triggers
a trap door and escapes.
593
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,290
Someone stole the magnets
so he couldn't escape.
594
00:34:10,460 --> 00:34:12,670
There were magnets
in the Geek's stomach.
595
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:14,840
-So what?
-Sew buttons.
596
00:34:15,050 --> 00:34:17,000
He ate evidence.
The Geek's the killer.
597
00:34:17,210 --> 00:34:19,550
The Geek ain't the killer.
The Geek is dead.
598
00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:22,050
Black-magic woman killed him.
599
00:34:22,260 --> 00:34:25,640
She took that dangling carrot
and jammed it in that damn fool's head.
600
00:34:25,810 --> 00:34:27,890
Stop saying that. I did not.
601
00:34:28,060 --> 00:34:30,390
NARRATOR:
In fact, she hadn't.
602
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,900
They did not just leave me
with a dead body.
603
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,540
-Right now, I feel like I'm very calm.
-Oh, you are.
604
00:34:49,700 --> 00:34:53,210
Thank you. And I wanna stay that way.
But I need you to stay calm too.
605
00:34:53,380 --> 00:34:55,750
-So, what's our promise to each other?
-Stay calm.
606
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,000
-Which means?
-No screaming?
607
00:34:58,170 --> 00:35:01,380
You're wonderful.
I can't wait to let you go.
608
00:35:01,590 --> 00:35:03,300
ALEXANDRIA:
Everybody can see you.
609
00:35:03,890 --> 00:35:05,720
Olive, are you okay?
610
00:35:06,390 --> 00:35:07,720
-I'm calm?
EMERSON: Hey, nerd.
611
00:35:07,930 --> 00:35:10,100
You need a bigger
human shield or something.
612
00:35:10,270 --> 00:35:12,640
You hanging out all sorts of places
I could shoot.
613
00:35:12,850 --> 00:35:14,810
How about you just let
wee lady wee go?
614
00:35:15,020 --> 00:35:17,150
Well, I have a gun too.
615
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,780
I swallowed a pearl-handled pistol.
616
00:35:19,940 --> 00:35:22,950
I'm cocking the trigger with
my stomach muscles right now...
617
00:35:23,150 --> 00:35:26,160
...and when it fires,
it's going to shoot you in the face.
618
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,490
I did hear a click. Wait.
It's a click-clicking.
619
00:35:29,660 --> 00:35:31,120
Oh, never mind, it's a watch.
620
00:35:31,290 --> 00:35:33,710
You ain't shooting nobody
in their face, TUMS.
621
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,170
NED: You are not gonna get away
with murder.
622
00:35:36,380 --> 00:35:39,210
-He's got a nail.
NARRATOR: The facts were these:
623
00:35:39,380 --> 00:35:44,300
The Geek, a.k.a. Gunther Pinker,
saw a father in the Great Herrmann...
624
00:35:44,510 --> 00:35:48,680
...and a long and happy
future performing together.
625
00:35:48,850 --> 00:35:51,600
But Herrmann did not see
a son in him...
626
00:35:51,770 --> 00:35:56,350
...only a novelty act
whose novelty had run out.
627
00:36:02,490 --> 00:36:07,660
Herrmann had conveniently arranged
his own funeral in "Cementia."
628
00:36:08,530 --> 00:36:12,580
The keys to his escape were consumed.
629
00:36:12,750 --> 00:36:14,710
He made the Great Herrmann vanish...
630
00:36:14,870 --> 00:36:19,170
...and replaced him with another cube.
No body, no murder.
631
00:36:19,340 --> 00:36:23,380
He intended to return with his trowel
and seal the Great Herrmann's grave...
632
00:36:23,550 --> 00:36:26,970
...with the very brand of cement
that took his life.
633
00:36:27,180 --> 00:36:29,090
I would've eaten anything
for that man.
634
00:36:29,260 --> 00:36:32,810
-I loved him like a father.
-Guess he shouldn't call your act cheap.
635
00:36:33,020 --> 00:36:36,980
That first beer bottle I ate for him
was a promise. A promise he broke.
636
00:36:37,190 --> 00:36:41,020
He turned his back on me.
Abandoned me like I was cheap.
637
00:36:41,230 --> 00:36:44,650
I was abandoned by my father when
I was 9. I hated him for leaving me.
638
00:36:44,820 --> 00:36:48,360
I wrote letters to my future self
telling me to never forgive my father...
639
00:36:48,530 --> 00:36:52,740
...and to always hold a grudge. Those
letters were little angry time capsules.
640
00:36:53,540 --> 00:36:56,080
But being angry didn't help.
641
00:36:56,250 --> 00:36:57,710
Despite what he did to me...
642
00:36:59,420 --> 00:37:03,300
... I still loved him
and I wanted him back.
643
00:37:03,510 --> 00:37:04,880
Now.
644
00:37:15,430 --> 00:37:16,480
BOTH:
Ta-da!
645
00:37:17,020 --> 00:37:19,730
NARRATOR:
The Geek, a.k.a. Gunther Pinker...
646
00:37:19,900 --> 00:37:23,440
...regurgitator of fish, frogs, mice
and now kittens...
647
00:37:23,610 --> 00:37:28,610
...was arrested for the murder of the
Great Herrmann, a.k.a. Herman Gunt.
648
00:37:28,780 --> 00:37:32,120
When they were ready,
twin magicians Maurice and Ralston...
649
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:34,790
...dealt with the loss
of their magic dad...
650
00:37:34,950 --> 00:37:38,000
...finding his book of secrets
where he had left it.
651
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:42,630
But they knew there was someone who'd
waited eight long years for that carrot.
652
00:37:42,790 --> 00:37:44,170
We'll make you a photocopy.
653
00:37:44,380 --> 00:37:49,800
And with it, Alexandria the assistant
would become the Great Alexandria...
654
00:37:49,970 --> 00:37:53,850
...newest headliner
at the Conjurer's Castle.
655
00:37:54,060 --> 00:37:57,980
As for the Pie-Maker, he discovered
a new side to magic.
656
00:37:58,140 --> 00:38:03,860
Magic was not just what disappears, but
what reappears when you least expect it.
657
00:38:04,020 --> 00:38:08,320
Emboldened with this new perspective
and free of the sting of acid reflux...
658
00:38:08,490 --> 00:38:12,660
...the Pie-Maker arranged a private
magic show for the girl he loved.
659
00:38:12,820 --> 00:38:13,910
Are you ready?
660
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:19,080
Well, if we're going to a magic show,
I hope you've got your lozenges.
661
00:38:19,290 --> 00:38:20,790
Oh, sorry.
662
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,290
You helped me conquer
my lozenge dependency.
663
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:26,050
As terrifying as it is,
magic runs in my family.
664
00:38:26,630 --> 00:38:29,010
And I kind of like being Frère Pie-Maker.
665
00:38:29,970 --> 00:38:35,140
It's a nice feeling to be able to talk
to the family you didn't know you had.
666
00:38:36,930 --> 00:38:38,600
Okay, you can look.
667
00:38:39,180 --> 00:38:40,850
Yeah?
668
00:38:41,310 --> 00:38:42,980
Okay.
669
00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:59,120
-Aw.
-I want you to have that same nice feeling.
670
00:38:59,910 --> 00:39:02,000
Do you wanna talk to your mom?
671
00:39:02,710 --> 00:39:04,750
Are we gonna crank call Lily?
672
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:08,050
-In a way.
-Ding dong ditch?
673
00:39:10,170 --> 00:39:11,220
How?
674
00:39:11,420 --> 00:39:16,350
A small conversation can go a long way,
even under the falsest of pretenses.
675
00:39:18,220 --> 00:39:21,100
Okay, now that Vivian
has gone to bed...
676
00:39:21,350 --> 00:39:23,640
...have you ever role-played?
677
00:39:23,850 --> 00:39:25,850
Oh, I've role-played.
678
00:39:26,020 --> 00:39:29,110
But never in a context I'd be
comfortable role-playing with you.
679
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,990
Oh, no. Not that kind of a role-play.
680
00:39:32,150 --> 00:39:34,570
More olives, Olive.
681
00:39:34,910 --> 00:39:40,620
This is a work-your-grooves-out kind of
a role-play, not get-your-groove-on.
682
00:39:40,790 --> 00:39:44,460
Oh, okay. You've told me things only
me, you and that nunnery know.
683
00:39:44,620 --> 00:39:49,090
About Charlotte, you being
her mother and not being her mother.
684
00:39:49,250 --> 00:39:50,300
That again.
685
00:39:50,460 --> 00:39:52,630
When you were a jockey,
did you ride horses...
686
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,590
...or beat them after they were dead?
687
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:59,220
I'm talking about a dead daughter.
That's a lot of weight to haul around.
688
00:39:59,390 --> 00:40:02,980
-You are harshing my buzz.
-I don't wanna harsh, I wanna help.
689
00:40:03,140 --> 00:40:06,150
Help me help you carry the weight.
690
00:40:06,310 --> 00:40:08,400
Oh, Lily, unburden yourself.
691
00:40:08,610 --> 00:40:11,530
If Charlotte were alive now
and you didn't have to worry...
692
00:40:11,690 --> 00:40:16,070
...about Vivian settling your hash,
what would you say to her?
693
00:40:16,240 --> 00:40:18,070
You're supposed to be Charlotte?
694
00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:20,870
Yes, Aunt Lily. It's Charlotte.
Don't you recognize me?
695
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,200
You should get your eye checked.
696
00:40:25,330 --> 00:40:28,420
Charlotte, there's something
you should know.
697
00:40:33,010 --> 00:40:34,300
I'm listening.
698
00:40:34,470 --> 00:40:35,920
[RADIO BEEPS]
699
00:40:36,090 --> 00:40:39,430
LILY [OVER RADIO]: I'm your mother.
-Presto.
700
00:40:40,010 --> 00:40:43,850
Go on. Ask your sea of questions.
701
00:40:46,350 --> 00:40:47,440
She can hear me?
702
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,240
Um.... There's so many. I--
703
00:40:56,950 --> 00:40:58,160
I wanna know everything.
704
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,280
I wanna know every-- Everything?
705
00:41:01,490 --> 00:41:03,160
Everything.
706
00:41:03,540 --> 00:41:04,660
Start at the beginning.
707
00:41:05,250 --> 00:41:08,120
Tell me about the day I was born.
708
00:41:08,330 --> 00:41:10,630
Can you tell me about the day
I was born?
709
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:18,050
I was at the nunnery, right in the middle
of mid-middle morning prayers.
710
00:41:18,260 --> 00:41:21,760
Sister Mary Mary came running with
a crucifix and a bucket of holy water.
711
00:41:21,970 --> 00:41:24,970
She had ideas about the kind
of spawn I was carrying.
712
00:41:25,180 --> 00:41:27,020
But...
713
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,980
...after you were born...
714
00:41:35,530 --> 00:41:38,360
...even she could see
you were an angel.
715
00:41:40,990 --> 00:41:45,240
NARRATOR: As the once-dead girl named
Chuck had her very first conversation...
716
00:41:45,410 --> 00:41:47,870
...with the mother
she'd always thought dead...
717
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:51,330
...and felt her heart grow full...
718
00:41:58,170 --> 00:42:01,840
...across town, Dwight Dixon
was visiting the dead daughter...
719
00:42:02,010 --> 00:42:04,010
...of his dead friend...
720
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,140
[GRUNTING]
721
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,860
...and found her coffin empty.
722
00:43:10,330 --> 00:43:13,300
[ENGLISH SDH]
64428
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof