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1
00:00:27,421 --> 00:00:31,454
He's the undisputed king
of underground comedy.
2
00:00:31,654 --> 00:00:35,287
You've seen him
in "Friday After Next,"
3
00:00:35,487 --> 00:00:39,419
"The Pimp Chronicles
One and Two,"
4
00:00:39,619 --> 00:00:42,387
"It's Pimpin' Pimpin',"
5
00:00:42,587 --> 00:00:44,319
"American Hustle,"
6
00:00:44,519 --> 00:00:46,051
"Kattpacalypse,"
7
00:00:46,251 --> 00:00:48,135
"Katt Williams: Live,"
8
00:00:48,334 --> 00:00:50,018
"Wild 'n Out," and more.
9
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,717
He shut down the Internet
single-handedly.
10
00:00:53,917 --> 00:00:56,218
He's knocked out everyone
11
00:00:56,418 --> 00:00:58,518
from 108 to 308 pounds.
12
00:00:58,718 --> 00:01:02,085
He's back and better than ever.
13
00:01:02,286 --> 00:01:04,550
Ladies and gentlemen,
14
00:01:04,749 --> 00:01:10,483
let's get ready to chuckle!
15
00:01:10,684 --> 00:01:16,216
Presenting Katt Williams!
16
00:01:16,416 --> 00:01:17,748
♪ This shit
is legendary ♪
17
00:01:17,949 --> 00:01:19,448
♪ Trip like Jason Terry ♪
18
00:01:19,648 --> 00:01:21,315
♪ Pussy pink
as Katy Perry ♪
19
00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,131
♪ This shit came
from nowhere ♪
20
00:01:23,331 --> 00:01:24,947
♪ Drama,
please don't go there ♪
21
00:01:25,147 --> 00:01:26,399
♪ Pussy Michael Jordan ♪
22
00:01:26,549 --> 00:01:29,015
♪ No hair,
bald, had no hair ♪
23
00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:30,815
♪ Bandz a made her dance ♪
24
00:01:31,015 --> 00:01:32,597
♪ 20s will bring
her friends ♪
25
00:01:32,797 --> 00:01:34,356
♪ Cities,
a change of plans ♪
26
00:01:34,556 --> 00:01:36,055
♪ Boy, I came here
off Gramps ♪
27
00:01:36,114 --> 00:01:39,047
♪ For a dollar, you'll do
all this for a dollar? ♪
28
00:01:39,246 --> 00:01:41,015
♪ Play, make you think
she a scholar ♪
29
00:01:41,045 --> 00:01:43,082
♪ Accent like
she super proper ♪
30
00:01:43,282 --> 00:01:44,015
♪ Lick the swimming pool ♪
31
00:01:44,215 --> 00:01:46,082
♪ Make her say,
"Fuck all the rules" ♪
32
00:01:46,282 --> 00:01:47,947
♪ Don't mind
if she get used ♪
33
00:01:48,147 --> 00:01:49,998
♪ That poor nigga say,
"Fuck school" ♪
34
00:01:50,113 --> 00:01:51,664
♪ So I made
this foreign type ♪
35
00:01:51,863 --> 00:01:53,471
♪ Aw, yeah,
now I'm so in tight ♪
36
00:01:53,671 --> 00:01:55,460
♪ I said she married
to the moola ♪
37
00:01:55,659 --> 00:01:57,447
♪ Show some
motherfucking rocks ♪
38
00:01:58,246 --> 00:01:59,246
♪ Hallelujah ♪
39
00:01:59,313 --> 00:02:00,831
♪ This shit legendary ♪
40
00:02:01,030 --> 00:02:02,571
♪ Trip like Jason Terry ♪
41
00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:04,392
♪ Pussy pink
as Katy Perry ♪
42
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:06,450
♪ This shit came
from nowhere ♪
43
00:02:06,651 --> 00:02:08,512
♪ Drama,
please don't go there ♪
44
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:09,712
♪ Pussy Michael Jordan ♪
45
00:02:09,812 --> 00:02:11,812
♪ No hair,
bald, had no hair. ♪
46
00:02:19,444 --> 00:02:20,943
You go, Katt!
47
00:02:21,143 --> 00:02:24,977
Is the IE in this bitch
this evening?
48
00:02:35,211 --> 00:02:37,710
I had to get here,
49
00:02:37,910 --> 00:02:40,210
'cause there's a lot
of shit going on,
50
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,742
not just in the world.
51
00:02:41,942 --> 00:02:44,378
There's a lot of shit
going on with me.
52
00:02:45,776 --> 00:02:47,477
I don't know
if you checked it out.
53
00:02:47,577 --> 00:02:49,877
I was going through some shit.
54
00:02:50,076 --> 00:02:52,226
They arrested me five times
55
00:02:52,426 --> 00:02:54,576
in five cities in five days.
56
00:02:54,776 --> 00:02:57,008
What the fuck?
57
00:02:57,208 --> 00:03:00,308
Bitch,
I am not the international man of mystery.
58
00:03:00,509 --> 00:03:02,177
What the fuck?
59
00:03:02,377 --> 00:03:03,809
They arrested me so much,
60
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:05,258
soon as I see the police,
61
00:03:05,442 --> 00:03:08,541
my body just automatically
assumes the position.
62
00:03:08,741 --> 00:03:09,992
Just...
63
00:03:17,973 --> 00:03:20,173
See how I made
the hog-tie available?
64
00:03:20,373 --> 00:03:22,575
'Cause they know
I like to fight.
65
00:03:22,774 --> 00:03:24,240
It's fucked up.
66
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,423
I got arrested in a Target.
67
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,798
How the fuck do you go to jail
68
00:03:28,998 --> 00:03:31,174
in an electronics superstore?
69
00:03:32,772 --> 00:03:35,373
A white man at the Target
caught me off guard.
70
00:03:35,573 --> 00:03:36,976
He called me a pussy
and a nigger
71
00:03:37,006 --> 00:03:39,921
and a pussy and a nigger
and a pussy and a nigger.
72
00:03:40,121 --> 00:03:43,037
And I said, "I am not
fixing to be one of these."
73
00:03:44,238 --> 00:03:46,405
Bam! "What the fuck
did I just do?
74
00:03:46,605 --> 00:03:48,006
What the fuck?"
75
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:53,337
See, life has a way of sometimes
76
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:55,272
sending you
subtle wake-up calls.
77
00:03:55,471 --> 00:03:58,471
Anytime you are standing
next to Suge Knight
78
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:00,836
and you are the person
going to jail,
79
00:04:01,035 --> 00:04:03,204
that is a wake-up call
for your ass.
80
00:04:03,404 --> 00:04:05,836
I'm in the pictures like this.
81
00:04:16,803 --> 00:04:18,470
Get my shit together.
82
00:04:18,670 --> 00:04:19,935
It's fucked up.
83
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,202
I said to myself
84
00:04:21,402 --> 00:04:23,252
I don't know
what the fuck's going on.
85
00:04:23,352 --> 00:04:25,272
We going to have to figure
this shit out.
86
00:04:25,302 --> 00:04:27,369
Used to be
if I had some problems,
87
00:04:27,570 --> 00:04:30,435
I could go to my therapist
at the weed place.
88
00:04:32,636 --> 00:04:34,852
Yeah, Ontario's still
got weed places.
89
00:04:35,052 --> 00:04:37,069
Couple over here.
90
00:04:37,269 --> 00:04:38,969
Couple over here.
Couple over here.
91
00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:40,283
I was in LA.
92
00:04:40,468 --> 00:04:43,032
Ain't no weed places in LA.
93
00:04:43,233 --> 00:04:45,400
They got a dispensary.
94
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,700
I don't know what the fuck
that shit means,
95
00:04:47,734 --> 00:04:49,933
but I think it means
"big as fuck."
96
00:04:50,132 --> 00:04:52,832
You are just in that
motherfucker, just...
97
00:04:55,899 --> 00:04:58,099
Why do I have a shopping cart?
98
00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:02,566
I'm just saying you are
not supposed to have
99
00:05:02,765 --> 00:05:05,166
500 different types
of deliciousness
100
00:05:05,366 --> 00:05:07,566
in the same place
at the same time.
101
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,831
Got niggas overdosing
from smelling too much weed.
102
00:05:11,031 --> 00:05:12,931
"Mmm, that is blueberry.
103
00:05:13,131 --> 00:05:14,831
That's blueberry for real.
104
00:05:15,031 --> 00:05:17,697
That is fresh as shit
right there.
105
00:05:17,897 --> 00:05:18,931
That... white fire?
106
00:05:19,130 --> 00:05:21,281
I ain't never even smelled
real fire before.
107
00:05:21,465 --> 00:05:22,865
That is delicious.
108
00:05:23,065 --> 00:05:25,265
Girl Scout cookies?
I love them.
109
00:05:25,465 --> 00:05:26,763
Do you have Thin Mints?"
110
00:05:30,696 --> 00:05:31,946
It's fucked up.
111
00:05:32,096 --> 00:05:35,130
And I should have stayed
out there where it was safe
112
00:05:35,330 --> 00:05:37,197
with the leafy products,
113
00:05:37,396 --> 00:05:38,396
with the bud,
114
00:05:38,564 --> 00:05:40,163
but they got a room in the back.
115
00:05:40,329 --> 00:05:43,263
That's right. They got
a "this shit right here, nigga,"
116
00:05:43,463 --> 00:05:45,929
they got one of them rooms
in the back.
117
00:05:46,129 --> 00:05:48,661
You got to be careful
in that motherfucker.
118
00:05:48,862 --> 00:05:51,396
All they got back there
is concentrate,
119
00:05:51,596 --> 00:05:53,728
spackle, sparkle, wax, butter,
120
00:05:53,928 --> 00:05:57,861
dabs, or whatever the fuck
you want to call it.
121
00:05:58,895 --> 00:06:00,561
You be thinking to yourself,
122
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,810
"Much motherfucking weed
as I done smoked,
123
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,060
I ain't scared of shit.
I don't give a fuck
124
00:06:05,126 --> 00:06:07,094
what type of
motherfucking weed it is."
125
00:06:07,294 --> 00:06:09,094
That's what you be saying.
126
00:06:09,294 --> 00:06:11,396
Then they come over
and put that little thing
127
00:06:11,426 --> 00:06:13,061
on there and walk off,
128
00:06:13,261 --> 00:06:15,495
and you be like, "That little
booger right there
129
00:06:15,525 --> 00:06:17,176
can't hurt
no-motherfucking-body."
130
00:06:17,325 --> 00:06:19,226
Don't you believe it.
131
00:06:19,426 --> 00:06:23,060
It's like hitting 300 blunts
at the same damn time
132
00:06:23,260 --> 00:06:24,826
at the same damn time.
133
00:06:25,026 --> 00:06:28,360
I fucked around
and got my high high.
134
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,924
Do you realize how difficult
that is to do?
135
00:06:32,124 --> 00:06:34,892
You know when you done got
too motherfucking high.
136
00:06:35,092 --> 00:06:38,793
You, "Uh-uh.
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
137
00:06:38,993 --> 00:06:40,860
Uh-uh.
138
00:06:41,059 --> 00:06:42,642
Uh-uh. Fuck that, nigga.
139
00:06:42,841 --> 00:06:44,225
I got too high. Uh-uh.
140
00:06:44,425 --> 00:06:47,141
Fuck you. I saw where
the Illuminati live, nigga.
141
00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:50,057
Get me the fuck up out
of here. Where's my car?"
142
00:06:53,291 --> 00:06:55,158
Fucked up.
143
00:06:55,358 --> 00:06:59,023
But no matter what the fuck
was going on with me,
144
00:06:59,222 --> 00:07:01,222
I couldn't be depressed.
145
00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:03,972
We Americans.
146
00:07:04,122 --> 00:07:06,123
If you motherfucking
watch the news,
147
00:07:06,322 --> 00:07:09,123
America don't give a fuck
about a tragedy.
148
00:07:09,323 --> 00:07:10,622
We are the shit.
149
00:07:10,822 --> 00:07:12,072
I'm not saying
150
00:07:12,122 --> 00:07:13,959
we the greatest country
in the world...
151
00:07:13,989 --> 00:07:15,290
Yes, we is!
152
00:07:15,489 --> 00:07:18,556
...but we the greatest
country in the world,
153
00:07:18,756 --> 00:07:20,839
and everybody knows it.
154
00:07:21,038 --> 00:07:23,120
Not because we're better.
155
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,721
Not because of that.
156
00:07:24,921 --> 00:07:27,522
Tragedy happens to everybody.
157
00:07:27,722 --> 00:07:29,255
But as Americans,
158
00:07:29,456 --> 00:07:31,738
we don't give a fuck
about tragedy.
159
00:07:31,937 --> 00:07:34,219
Our motherfucking motto
should be,
160
00:07:34,419 --> 00:07:36,220
"Fuck outta here."
161
00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:37,919
Soon as we get a tragedy,
162
00:07:38,119 --> 00:07:40,820
we, "Fuck outta here.
That's our shit.
163
00:07:41,019 --> 00:07:43,686
Fuck outta here.
That's..."
164
00:07:43,887 --> 00:07:45,754
So proud of America.
165
00:07:45,954 --> 00:07:47,619
First time we saw it
166
00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:50,086
was the Oklahoma City tornado.
167
00:07:51,219 --> 00:07:53,352
I ain't never seen
no shit like that.
168
00:07:53,553 --> 00:07:55,369
That changed
my motherfucking life.
169
00:07:55,569 --> 00:07:57,386
I don't give a fuck
what's going on.
170
00:07:57,586 --> 00:07:58,586
It's your house.
171
00:07:58,753 --> 00:08:00,951
Nothing is worse
than getting to your house
172
00:08:01,151 --> 00:08:04,285
and your house
is not there anymore.
173
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,552
Your GPS keeps saying,
174
00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:08,552
"You are here."
175
00:08:12,217 --> 00:08:14,951
"Bullshit. I left
a house in this bitch.
176
00:08:15,151 --> 00:08:17,984
I remember that shit
specifically."
177
00:08:18,184 --> 00:08:20,616
That's some fucked-up shit.
178
00:08:20,816 --> 00:08:23,517
How the fuck do that feel
for you to wake up
179
00:08:23,717 --> 00:08:25,550
and your whole city be gone?
180
00:08:25,751 --> 00:08:28,551
Like you done missed
the Rapture or some shit.
181
00:08:28,751 --> 00:08:30,183
You just wake up to...
182
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,949
"Jesus, you couldn't
have woke a nigga up?"
183
00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:44,982
It's fucked up.
184
00:08:45,182 --> 00:08:47,720
'Cause black people know
we ain't ready for that shit.
185
00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:49,549
We just figured out what to do
186
00:08:49,749 --> 00:08:51,913
in case of eviction.
187
00:08:52,113 --> 00:08:54,313
We just figured out
if the police show up,
188
00:08:54,513 --> 00:08:56,197
act like they
on your side, just,
189
00:08:56,397 --> 00:08:58,081
"Thank God
you showed up, Officer.
190
00:08:59,813 --> 00:09:01,314
Could you hold that microwave?
191
00:09:01,514 --> 00:09:03,615
Thank you so much.
Kids, get on out of here
192
00:09:03,748 --> 00:09:06,414
and let this officer
help us."
193
00:09:12,348 --> 00:09:14,013
It don't matter, though.
194
00:09:15,447 --> 00:09:17,413
As America, we too gangster.
195
00:09:17,613 --> 00:09:18,864
We don't care.
196
00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:20,830
America is
too motherfucking gangster.
197
00:09:20,911 --> 00:09:23,679
And it don't take
a whole bunch of Americans
198
00:09:23,879 --> 00:09:25,446
to represent America neither.
199
00:09:25,646 --> 00:09:28,646
It can be one white woman
in a field
200
00:09:28,846 --> 00:09:31,279
by herself, missing teeth...
201
00:09:33,011 --> 00:09:36,010
and she can represent
America just fine.
202
00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:38,376
They'll be right in the field,
203
00:09:38,576 --> 00:09:41,093
just, "Ma'am,
a tornado just came
204
00:09:41,293 --> 00:09:43,810
and tore down your whole city.
205
00:09:44,010 --> 00:09:46,511
What are you going to do?"
206
00:09:53,644 --> 00:09:56,777
"We going to fucking rebuild.
207
00:09:59,410 --> 00:10:01,276
I was goddamn born here.
208
00:10:01,477 --> 00:10:03,544
I'm going
to goddamn die here."
209
00:10:03,744 --> 00:10:06,475
Some American shit.
210
00:10:06,676 --> 00:10:08,642
Why is America that strong?
211
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,841
'Cause of all of us
that's in the room tonight.
212
00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:14,642
Not because white people
are better
213
00:10:14,842 --> 00:10:17,907
or Hispanics are better,
because blacks are better.
214
00:10:18,107 --> 00:10:19,374
No, nobody.
215
00:10:19,574 --> 00:10:21,408
We all are the same.
216
00:10:21,608 --> 00:10:25,074
That's what...
217
00:10:27,042 --> 00:10:30,342
That's what makes us different
218
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,324
is that we the same.
219
00:10:32,524 --> 00:10:34,307
That's why we different.
220
00:10:36,174 --> 00:10:38,874
It's the reason why we the same.
221
00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:40,441
It's 'cause we different.
222
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:43,343
For white people,
I don't know how to explain it to you,
223
00:10:43,373 --> 00:10:44,973
but for niggas, same difference.
224
00:10:46,739 --> 00:10:49,473
Just saying
we all need each other.
225
00:10:49,673 --> 00:10:52,406
Life is already
too fucked up as it is
226
00:10:52,606 --> 00:10:54,439
for you to be hating somebody
227
00:10:54,639 --> 00:10:56,738
'cause of what the fuck
they look like.
228
00:10:56,938 --> 00:10:58,405
You don't have to do that.
229
00:10:58,605 --> 00:11:00,139
You... no, no.
230
00:11:00,339 --> 00:11:03,204
You could hate somebody
'cause they ain't shit.
231
00:11:05,339 --> 00:11:07,922
See how that's
not racist at all?
232
00:11:08,121 --> 00:11:10,504
"Fuck you,
'cause you ain't shit."
233
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:13,304
That has no color
attached to it at all.
234
00:11:15,538 --> 00:11:17,438
Reason I say that
235
00:11:17,638 --> 00:11:19,304
is because if we really are
236
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,504
the greatest country
in the world,
237
00:11:21,704 --> 00:11:22,704
then we need to decide
238
00:11:22,902 --> 00:11:25,270
that we going
to get rid of racism
239
00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:27,470
if possible in 2014
240
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:29,870
while we have the opportunity.
241
00:11:35,102 --> 00:11:37,069
Just saying we all
need each other.
242
00:11:38,569 --> 00:11:43,035
The new racists don't
even hate on minorities.
243
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:45,834
They just hate
the ones they can beat.
244
00:11:48,236 --> 00:11:49,487
That's why they ain't mad
245
00:11:49,669 --> 00:11:52,701
at no big, swollen black
nigga with dreads and shit.
246
00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:55,467
They ain't fucking
none of them up at all.
247
00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:58,700
It's always some 17-year-old
light-skinned nigga
248
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:01,534
that look like he
just had a backpack on
249
00:12:01,734 --> 00:12:03,700
and got a belly full of Yoo-hoo,
250
00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:05,167
and he end up dead.
251
00:12:05,367 --> 00:12:07,201
I keep saying, praise Jesus,
252
00:12:07,401 --> 00:12:10,099
let one of these racists
run up on me
253
00:12:10,299 --> 00:12:12,849
at a gas station, bless God,
254
00:12:13,049 --> 00:12:15,740
and tell me my music is too loud
255
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:18,633
and see if
I don't shut off music
256
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:20,699
for the both of us.
257
00:12:22,198 --> 00:12:23,932
Blaat!
258
00:12:25,532 --> 00:12:28,565
Fuck is you shooting
niggas for in the backseat?
259
00:12:28,765 --> 00:12:30,797
They can't even reach the radio.
260
00:12:33,897 --> 00:12:35,565
Racists ain't shit.
261
00:12:35,765 --> 00:12:37,281
We all need each other.
262
00:12:37,481 --> 00:12:38,798
Fuck the dumb shit.
263
00:12:38,997 --> 00:12:40,697
Everybody's life is too hard.
264
00:12:41,931 --> 00:12:44,863
Minorities, our life
is already fucked up.
265
00:12:45,063 --> 00:12:46,064
Tell the fucking truth.
266
00:12:46,263 --> 00:12:48,265
Not to say, white people,
y'all's ain't fucked up,
267
00:12:48,295 --> 00:12:51,598
but y'all's fucked up
and our fucked up...
268
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:56,630
two separate cadences.
269
00:12:57,762 --> 00:12:59,464
For white people,
this is fucked up.
270
00:12:59,495 --> 00:13:00,762
Good, good, good, good,
271
00:13:00,962 --> 00:13:02,363
good, good, good, fucked up,
272
00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:05,161
good, good, good,
good, good, good,
273
00:13:05,361 --> 00:13:06,395
good, fucked up.
274
00:13:06,595 --> 00:13:08,895
For a nigga, it's a whole
different cadence.
275
00:13:09,095 --> 00:13:09,862
It's just...
276
00:13:10,062 --> 00:13:13,430
♪ Fucked up, fucked up,
fucked up, fucked up ♪
277
00:13:13,629 --> 00:13:14,670
♪ Fucked up,
fucked up, fuck... ♪
278
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:16,745
Have you double-Dutching
in your own shit.
279
00:13:23,794 --> 00:13:26,577
We all need each other
is my point.
280
00:13:26,777 --> 00:13:29,561
The racists
done got out of control.
281
00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:31,063
These motherfuckers got time
282
00:13:31,093 --> 00:13:33,825
to be mad
at breakfast commercials.
283
00:13:34,026 --> 00:13:35,826
What the fuck?
284
00:13:36,027 --> 00:13:39,027
When did a racist care
about a balanced breakfast?
285
00:13:39,227 --> 00:13:42,027
These racists mad
at Cheerio commercials.
286
00:13:42,227 --> 00:13:44,826
I was mad at
the Cheerio commercial too,
287
00:13:45,026 --> 00:13:47,991
but I was mad for
a completely nonracist reason.
288
00:13:48,190 --> 00:13:49,792
I was mad that a white woman
289
00:13:49,991 --> 00:13:51,791
and a black man
would get together
290
00:13:51,991 --> 00:13:54,459
and feed their baby Cheerios.
291
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,927
That don't have
no flavor at all.
292
00:13:57,126 --> 00:13:59,025
You couldn't have gave
the little nigga
293
00:13:59,058 --> 00:14:02,041
some Count Chocula
or Cocoa Puffs or something,
294
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:05,225
told her about her heritage,
for crying out loud?
295
00:14:08,190 --> 00:14:10,641
Just saying the racists
is getting out of control.
296
00:14:12,057 --> 00:14:14,439
These motherfuckers
got mad at me
297
00:14:14,639 --> 00:14:17,024
'cause I wasn't
mad at Paula Deen.
298
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:19,872
What the fuck, motherfucker?
299
00:14:20,072 --> 00:14:22,522
I can't be mad at everybody.
300
00:14:22,721 --> 00:14:25,572
Have you not seen
my life, motherfucker?
301
00:14:25,772 --> 00:14:28,623
Did you think I was
fixing to judge for...
302
00:14:28,823 --> 00:14:30,123
I'm on my...
303
00:14:30,323 --> 00:14:32,722
I'm on my fifth
second chance right now.
304
00:14:32,922 --> 00:14:34,756
What did you...
305
00:14:34,956 --> 00:14:37,855
what did you think
I was going to say?
306
00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:43,655
First of all, I can't
even really be mad at her,
307
00:14:43,855 --> 00:14:45,787
'cause I'm a fan.
308
00:14:45,987 --> 00:14:48,486
I done seen
what this bitch can do
309
00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:52,686
with 45 minutes
and 12 sticks of butter.
310
00:14:52,886 --> 00:14:55,022
You ain't just fixing to tell me
311
00:14:55,222 --> 00:14:57,022
what the fuck she said.
312
00:14:57,221 --> 00:14:58,821
I ain't saying
she didn't say it.
313
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:01,653
I'm saying I would like
to hear the context...
314
00:15:03,719 --> 00:15:05,052
in which she said it.
315
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:06,820
It might have been all right.
316
00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:10,286
She might have said,
"Hurry up with them niggas' chicken."
317
00:15:17,718 --> 00:15:21,119
"Don't make niggas wait
all day on pork chops."
318
00:15:28,419 --> 00:15:31,184
Just saying we all need
to be able to laugh.
319
00:15:31,384 --> 00:15:32,934
Fuck the dumb shit.
320
00:15:33,134 --> 00:15:34,483
I got white heroes.
321
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,434
One of my motherfucking
white heroes
322
00:15:36,484 --> 00:15:39,086
is that white lady that tried
to swim the English Channel.
323
00:15:39,116 --> 00:15:41,183
That bitch is
my motherfucking hero.
324
00:15:41,383 --> 00:15:43,450
This bitch
is trying to swim an ocean
325
00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:46,549
by her motherfucking self.
326
00:15:46,749 --> 00:15:49,599
One white woman in the ocean
327
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,650
by her motherfucking self
328
00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:54,749
with sharks and...
329
00:15:57,217 --> 00:15:59,532
whatever the fuck is in there,
330
00:15:59,732 --> 00:16:02,049
dolphins and porpoises and shit.
331
00:16:06,116 --> 00:16:08,780
And that's not the part,
minorities.
332
00:16:08,980 --> 00:16:10,948
It ain't that this white woman
333
00:16:11,148 --> 00:16:13,116
is swimming this ocean
by herself.
334
00:16:13,316 --> 00:16:15,181
It's not that.
335
00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,247
She is swimming...
336
00:16:17,447 --> 00:16:19,880
for free.
337
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,579
They not giving this bitch shit!
338
00:16:22,779 --> 00:16:25,279
She don't get a prize, a Prius,
339
00:16:25,479 --> 00:16:26,912
a ribbon, nothing.
340
00:16:28,179 --> 00:16:29,816
She just in the middle
of the ocean
341
00:16:29,846 --> 00:16:32,547
swimming her motherfucking
ass off, just...
342
00:16:49,145 --> 00:16:51,345
Meanwhile, you can't
get a black woman
343
00:16:51,545 --> 00:16:53,744
to get in the pool
at your pool party.
344
00:16:55,910 --> 00:16:58,211
It's this bitch's pool
and her pool party.
345
00:16:58,411 --> 00:17:01,144
She still ain't getting in.
346
00:17:01,344 --> 00:17:04,077
This white woman got stung
347
00:17:04,277 --> 00:17:06,759
176 times
348
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,168
by jellyfish.
349
00:17:09,368 --> 00:17:11,378
What the...
350
00:17:11,578 --> 00:17:12,844
when do you stop, ma'am?
351
00:17:13,044 --> 00:17:15,393
When it hits your vagina?
Is that when you stop?
352
00:17:15,526 --> 00:17:17,927
When that tags that
old clitoris, is that when...
353
00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:19,313
"All right, bitch.
Get the boat.
354
00:17:19,343 --> 00:17:21,410
Get the boat.
We only got one of those."
355
00:17:25,576 --> 00:17:26,576
Just saying,
356
00:17:26,674 --> 00:17:28,874
we all got to be able to laugh.
357
00:17:29,074 --> 00:17:31,110
It's very important.
358
00:17:31,310 --> 00:17:33,508
Minorities, your life is hard.
359
00:17:33,708 --> 00:17:35,944
Sometimes, you need
to be able to just go home,
360
00:17:35,974 --> 00:17:38,209
laugh about some shit
for 22 minutes,
361
00:17:38,409 --> 00:17:40,691
and then get back to your shit.
362
00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:43,181
The best part is it's free.
363
00:17:43,382 --> 00:17:45,473
You just got to do the shit.
364
00:17:45,674 --> 00:17:48,707
All right,
start off, minorities,
365
00:17:48,907 --> 00:17:51,340
by if you feeling fucked up,
366
00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:53,773
find you a white show to watch
367
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:56,208
with no niggas on it at all.
368
00:17:59,607 --> 00:18:02,008
I wouldn't tell you
this shit if it didn't work.
369
00:18:02,208 --> 00:18:05,272
Two of my motherfucking
favorite motherfucking shows,
370
00:18:05,472 --> 00:18:07,623
I'm embarrassed
to tell motherfuckers about.
371
00:18:07,773 --> 00:18:09,273
I watch every episode,
372
00:18:09,473 --> 00:18:11,039
but I don't be out in the open.
373
00:18:11,239 --> 00:18:13,206
I shut my curtains
and hide and shit,
374
00:18:13,406 --> 00:18:15,038
like "12 Years a Slave,"
375
00:18:15,238 --> 00:18:17,472
and don't want
no other niggas to see me.
376
00:18:18,671 --> 00:18:20,738
But I watch every episode.
377
00:18:20,938 --> 00:18:22,006
My favorite show
378
00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:24,437
for two years
in a motherfucking row
379
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,869
is still motherfucking
"Swamp People."
380
00:18:27,070 --> 00:18:29,069
That is my shit.
381
00:18:29,269 --> 00:18:30,837
Oh, my God.
382
00:18:31,037 --> 00:18:33,438
If you have not seen this shit,
383
00:18:33,638 --> 00:18:35,737
you have not lived yet.
384
00:18:35,937 --> 00:18:37,837
It's some beautiful shit.
385
00:18:38,037 --> 00:18:40,704
I think I just
like seeing minor...
386
00:18:40,904 --> 00:18:43,370
rednecks
in their natural environment,
387
00:18:43,570 --> 00:18:46,069
not killing minorities.
I think that's what it is.
388
00:18:47,003 --> 00:18:49,304
I love this shit.
389
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:52,470
I watch every episode,
but I don't know why,
390
00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:55,469
because every episode
is exactly...
391
00:18:55,669 --> 00:18:57,435
The same!
392
00:18:57,635 --> 00:19:00,435
...like the last
goddamn episode.
393
00:19:00,635 --> 00:19:02,267
They don't change shit.
394
00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:04,203
Every episode
395
00:19:04,402 --> 00:19:07,017
start with a man in a boat
396
00:19:07,217 --> 00:19:09,834
going nowhere fast as shit.
397
00:19:10,034 --> 00:19:11,284
He just...
398
00:19:17,666 --> 00:19:19,302
And he's saying some shit
399
00:19:19,502 --> 00:19:21,834
you can't fucking understand.
400
00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:26,899
And then you accidentally
understand some of the shit,
401
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,433
and it scares
the shit out of you.
402
00:19:29,633 --> 00:19:30,665
He just...
403
00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:33,548
"We got to go out there
and get him, boy.
404
00:19:33,748 --> 00:19:36,433
We got to go
out there and get him, boy.
405
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:38,365
We don't go out there
and get him,
406
00:19:38,565 --> 00:19:40,300
he ain't going
to get hisself."
407
00:19:48,163 --> 00:19:50,880
"Nah, I guess he ain't
going to get hisself.
408
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,798
I guess that makes
perfectly good sense."
409
00:19:53,998 --> 00:19:55,897
And these white men
get out there
410
00:19:56,098 --> 00:19:57,164
in that swamp,
411
00:19:57,365 --> 00:19:59,298
and they are catching
412
00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:02,897
700-, 800-pound alligators.
413
00:20:03,098 --> 00:20:06,064
And that's not the part,
minorities.
414
00:20:07,198 --> 00:20:09,498
They are catching
these alligators
415
00:20:09,698 --> 00:20:12,163
with their hands!
416
00:20:12,363 --> 00:20:13,899
That's right.
Look at the niggas.
417
00:20:13,929 --> 00:20:16,696
Don't even believe me.
With their real hands.
418
00:20:16,896 --> 00:20:18,829
Not a weapon.
Not a stick.
419
00:20:19,028 --> 00:20:20,096
None of that.
420
00:20:20,296 --> 00:20:23,329
Stick their real hands
in the water
421
00:20:23,529 --> 00:20:25,561
to get the alligator.
422
00:20:25,761 --> 00:20:28,028
Black people
is at the house, like,
423
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,495
"Don't stick your hand in there!
424
00:20:34,195 --> 00:20:37,396
There's an alligator
in that son of a bitch."
425
00:20:39,496 --> 00:20:41,228
But when you see...
426
00:20:43,227 --> 00:20:45,394
you see that white man reach up
427
00:20:45,594 --> 00:20:47,560
out that motherfucking boat,
428
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,726
grab that motherfucking
alligator line,
429
00:20:50,926 --> 00:20:52,493
the whole show, just...
430
00:20:52,693 --> 00:20:54,293
"Shoot him, Billy Bob!
Shoot him!
431
00:20:54,376 --> 00:20:55,925
Shoot him!
Shoot him, Billy Bob!
432
00:20:56,059 --> 00:20:57,093
Shoot him! Shoot him!
433
00:20:57,293 --> 00:20:59,426
Shoot him, Billy Bob!
Shoot him! Shoot him!
434
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,177
Shoot him, Billy Bob!
Shoot him!
435
00:21:01,292 --> 00:21:02,841
Shoot him!
Shoot him, Billy Bob!
436
00:21:02,958 --> 00:21:03,492
Shoot him! Shoot..."
437
00:21:03,692 --> 00:21:05,858
Then the whole show just flips.
438
00:21:06,058 --> 00:21:08,041
Now they showing it
from underwater,
439
00:21:08,241 --> 00:21:10,041
and it's muddy
and bubbling and shit,
440
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:13,425
like the alligator has
a camera on his head.
441
00:21:15,425 --> 00:21:17,024
And he's in the show too.
442
00:21:17,225 --> 00:21:19,857
And then they cut to commercial.
443
00:21:20,057 --> 00:21:21,057
Every time, I say,
444
00:21:21,124 --> 00:21:23,024
"I will not be here
when you get back."
445
00:21:23,224 --> 00:21:26,558
Just saying, we all need
to be able to laugh.
446
00:21:26,758 --> 00:21:28,556
So for my white friends,
447
00:21:28,756 --> 00:21:31,056
here's something black
you can laugh at.
448
00:21:31,256 --> 00:21:33,790
I've done the research.
449
00:21:33,990 --> 00:21:37,689
I'm pretty sure there's
no coonery in there anywhere.
450
00:21:37,889 --> 00:21:39,856
I just know
every time I see the shit,
451
00:21:40,056 --> 00:21:41,557
I fall on the ground laughing,
452
00:21:41,623 --> 00:21:43,190
almost pee myself.
453
00:21:43,390 --> 00:21:46,456
Okay, may be the funniest
shit I ever seen.
454
00:21:46,656 --> 00:21:47,905
There is a commercial
455
00:21:48,089 --> 00:21:50,089
starring a nigga named Mutombo.
456
00:21:50,289 --> 00:21:52,088
Now...
457
00:21:52,289 --> 00:21:54,555
if you have not seen
this commercial,
458
00:21:54,755 --> 00:21:57,254
you have not lived yet.
Let me say that.
459
00:21:57,455 --> 00:21:59,954
Now, if you don't know
who Mutombo is,
460
00:22:00,155 --> 00:22:02,954
he used to play basketball,
461
00:22:03,154 --> 00:22:04,653
played for the NBA,
462
00:22:04,853 --> 00:22:07,687
maybe, like, in 1979
or some shit like that,
463
00:22:07,887 --> 00:22:10,288
but he was one of the greatest,
464
00:22:10,489 --> 00:22:11,953
known for blocking shots.
465
00:22:12,153 --> 00:22:13,520
That was his shit.
466
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,520
Now they got this nigga
just randomly running
467
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,987
through white people's
workplace,
468
00:22:19,187 --> 00:22:21,353
just randomly
knocking shit out the air
469
00:22:21,553 --> 00:22:23,469
for no reason at all.
470
00:22:23,669 --> 00:22:25,586
Just, "No, no, no."
471
00:22:28,419 --> 00:22:30,251
What the fuck is that shit?
472
00:22:30,451 --> 00:22:31,885
"No, no, no."
473
00:22:36,251 --> 00:22:38,918
Every time I see that shit,
I almost pee myself.
474
00:22:41,186 --> 00:22:42,551
Many times I been arrested,
475
00:22:42,751 --> 00:22:44,952
that might be the only thing
I haven't tried.
476
00:22:46,352 --> 00:22:47,602
Stay tuned to TMZ.
477
00:22:47,785 --> 00:22:50,154
If I get pulled over
one more motherfucking time,
478
00:22:50,184 --> 00:22:52,435
that's how the fuck
I'm getting out of my car,
479
00:22:52,585 --> 00:22:53,917
just, "No, no, no."
480
00:23:00,185 --> 00:23:02,217
"We already did this shit."
481
00:23:03,484 --> 00:23:06,583
Just saying, all got
to be able to laugh.
482
00:23:06,783 --> 00:23:08,882
Motherfuckers
thought that because
483
00:23:09,082 --> 00:23:10,748
I was raised homophobic,
484
00:23:10,948 --> 00:23:13,915
that might have meant
I was homophobic.
485
00:23:14,116 --> 00:23:15,516
Wait a minute, motherfucker.
486
00:23:15,650 --> 00:23:18,250
Don't speak for me.
487
00:23:18,450 --> 00:23:21,048
I could tell you
how the fuck I feel.
488
00:23:21,248 --> 00:23:23,715
Just 'cause I got
an opinion don't mean shit.
489
00:23:23,915 --> 00:23:25,665
At the end
of the motherfucking day,
490
00:23:25,815 --> 00:23:27,765
I thought we
was talking about rights,
491
00:23:27,965 --> 00:23:29,715
and I thought
they was human rights.
492
00:23:29,915 --> 00:23:32,915
I think they human rights,
so if you a human,
493
00:23:33,115 --> 00:23:36,131
you deserve
your motherfucking rights.
494
00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:39,347
The reason for that is
I don't give a fuck
495
00:23:39,547 --> 00:23:42,146
what you are doing in your life,
496
00:23:42,346 --> 00:23:44,182
'cause I'm too busy doing
497
00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:47,945
what the fuck
I'm doing in my life.
498
00:23:48,145 --> 00:23:49,861
End quote.
499
00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:51,578
Yes, yes.
500
00:23:51,778 --> 00:23:55,512
Now, now, people thought
501
00:23:55,713 --> 00:23:59,347
that because
I might have an opinion,
502
00:23:59,547 --> 00:24:01,713
that meant I was homophobic.
503
00:24:01,913 --> 00:24:02,913
No, no, no, no.
504
00:24:02,945 --> 00:24:05,180
Let me say...
let me say publicly...
505
00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:07,412
let me say very publicly
506
00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:10,479
if there was a dude
and I had some shit to say,
507
00:24:10,679 --> 00:24:13,544
that's not because I was
homophobic, motherfucker.
508
00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:15,144
I'm not homophobic.
509
00:24:15,344 --> 00:24:16,594
I'm pro-pussy.
510
00:24:16,644 --> 00:24:18,111
There is a difference.
511
00:24:18,311 --> 00:24:21,378
I think you need
to understand, I...
512
00:24:21,578 --> 00:24:23,543
I was trying to help.
513
00:24:23,743 --> 00:24:25,743
I wasn't coming
from a place of hate.
514
00:24:25,943 --> 00:24:28,642
I thought some of them
had made a mistake.
515
00:24:28,842 --> 00:24:30,743
I'm saying, if you try a vagina
516
00:24:30,943 --> 00:24:33,609
and it leads you
to a life of asshole,
517
00:24:33,809 --> 00:24:35,842
wait a minute.
518
00:24:36,043 --> 00:24:38,242
If at first
you don't succeed, sir,
519
00:24:38,442 --> 00:24:39,692
try, try again.
520
00:24:39,892 --> 00:24:40,941
What the...
521
00:24:41,142 --> 00:24:43,509
you must have got
the wrong vagina.
522
00:24:43,709 --> 00:24:45,409
They are delicious.
523
00:24:46,875 --> 00:24:48,225
You should try another one.
524
00:24:48,309 --> 00:24:50,875
All of them are delicious,
I think.
525
00:24:53,774 --> 00:24:55,508
But I realized...
526
00:24:55,708 --> 00:24:58,740
I realized
it was a contradiction...
527
00:25:00,341 --> 00:25:03,408
because if you ask me
about gay dudes,
528
00:25:03,608 --> 00:25:04,940
I have some shit to say,
529
00:25:05,140 --> 00:25:06,739
but if you ask me
about lesbians,
530
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:09,307
I don't have shit to say
about lesbians.
531
00:25:09,507 --> 00:25:12,574
I've already had
this conversation with Jesus.
532
00:25:12,774 --> 00:25:14,106
He know I love lesbians.
533
00:25:14,306 --> 00:25:16,507
I don't even think lesbians
should pay taxes.
534
00:25:16,707 --> 00:25:17,707
I really don't.
535
00:25:17,873 --> 00:25:21,939
I think they are already
taking care of two vaginas.
536
00:25:26,006 --> 00:25:27,006
Just saying.
537
00:25:27,206 --> 00:25:29,855
We can't afford to be
judging all the time.
538
00:25:30,055 --> 00:25:32,506
Our life is too
motherfucking hard as it is.
539
00:25:32,706 --> 00:25:35,705
You got to be able to just
laugh some shit the fuck off.
540
00:25:35,905 --> 00:25:38,623
I just don't like when they try
541
00:25:38,822 --> 00:25:41,538
to force shit down our throats.
542
00:25:41,738 --> 00:25:44,037
Had Jason Collins come out
543
00:25:44,236 --> 00:25:47,271
as the first openly gay
basketball player.
544
00:25:47,471 --> 00:25:49,238
That's fine and all,
545
00:25:49,438 --> 00:25:53,104
but, nigga, you can't
suck at both things.
546
00:26:01,003 --> 00:26:02,605
I said we didn't know
you was gay,
547
00:26:02,635 --> 00:26:05,287
and we didn't know you was
a basketball player, nigga.
548
00:26:05,471 --> 00:26:06,471
What the fuck?
549
00:26:06,669 --> 00:26:09,735
This nigga averaged
0.3 points a game.
550
00:26:09,935 --> 00:26:12,336
We do that shit from the house.
551
00:26:16,034 --> 00:26:17,385
How the fuck he going to be
552
00:26:17,469 --> 00:26:20,070
the first openly gay
basketball player?
553
00:26:20,270 --> 00:26:22,584
Am I the only
motherfucker in here
554
00:26:22,784 --> 00:26:25,101
old enough to remember
Dennis Rodman?
555
00:26:25,301 --> 00:26:26,603
What the fuck was that shit?
556
00:26:26,633 --> 00:26:29,666
That was the first
gay basketball player.
557
00:26:29,866 --> 00:26:31,566
Get the fuck out of here.
558
00:26:31,766 --> 00:26:34,232
I watched that nigga
get 38 rebounds
559
00:26:34,432 --> 00:26:36,634
in foundation, mascara,
560
00:26:36,834 --> 00:26:39,050
eyeliner, eyelashes,
561
00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:41,468
lip gloss, Chap Stick,
562
00:26:41,668 --> 00:26:43,833
lipstick, rouge.
563
00:26:46,999 --> 00:26:48,449
That nigga's the master
564
00:26:48,649 --> 00:26:50,100
of the all-ass defense.
565
00:26:50,300 --> 00:26:51,732
He just...
566
00:26:54,099 --> 00:26:55,431
"You want this rebound,
567
00:26:55,631 --> 00:26:57,466
you going to have
to touch my penis."
568
00:26:58,898 --> 00:27:00,930
"No, no, no."
569
00:27:05,565 --> 00:27:08,030
Sometimes you just got
to be able to laugh.
570
00:27:08,230 --> 00:27:10,331
They had Michael Sam come out.
571
00:27:10,531 --> 00:27:12,597
He fixing to be
572
00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:15,196
first gay NFL player.
573
00:27:15,396 --> 00:27:17,347
And when that shit came out,
574
00:27:17,547 --> 00:27:19,497
everybody had an opinion.
575
00:27:19,697 --> 00:27:21,029
He was right here,
576
00:27:21,230 --> 00:27:23,264
and everybody over there
had an opinion,
577
00:27:23,464 --> 00:27:25,497
and everybody
over there had an opinion,
578
00:27:25,697 --> 00:27:28,564
but nobody's opinion was solid.
579
00:27:28,764 --> 00:27:30,013
They go up to the player,
580
00:27:30,164 --> 00:27:34,096
"Do you care
that your teammate is gay?"
581
00:27:35,628 --> 00:27:37,746
"Hell, no. I don't care
582
00:27:37,946 --> 00:27:39,863
what he chooses to do
583
00:27:40,063 --> 00:27:42,013
with his own personal life.
584
00:27:42,213 --> 00:27:44,138
As long as he comes in here
585
00:27:44,337 --> 00:27:46,215
ready to win championships
586
00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:48,188
and knows the playbook,
587
00:27:48,388 --> 00:27:50,161
then we have a teammate."
588
00:27:51,626 --> 00:27:55,126
"You mean, you don't mind
sharing a shower with him?"
589
00:28:01,126 --> 00:28:02,626
"I can shower at the house.
590
00:28:02,826 --> 00:28:04,627
It ain't that big a deal,
I'm saying.
591
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:08,126
I'm generally fresher
than a motherfucker anyway."
592
00:28:10,193 --> 00:28:13,859
Just saying, can't make
judgment all the time.
593
00:28:14,059 --> 00:28:16,060
Sometimes you got
to be able to laugh.
594
00:28:16,260 --> 00:28:18,693
I don't have to be
motherfucking political.
595
00:28:18,892 --> 00:28:20,359
I don't play football.
596
00:28:20,558 --> 00:28:21,824
I'm a football fan.
597
00:28:22,025 --> 00:28:24,359
I ain't in charge of the NFL.
598
00:28:24,559 --> 00:28:26,024
I love the NFL.
599
00:28:26,224 --> 00:28:28,390
I love to see football games.
600
00:28:28,590 --> 00:28:30,558
And as a fan, let me just say,
601
00:28:30,758 --> 00:28:33,373
it's going to be
some exciting shit
602
00:28:33,573 --> 00:28:36,190
when the first gay motherfucker
603
00:28:36,391 --> 00:28:37,640
walk on the field,
604
00:28:37,756 --> 00:28:40,109
and all of y'all think
it's going to be regular.
605
00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:41,260
No, the fuck it ain't.
606
00:28:41,459 --> 00:28:45,691
No, it's going to be
some exciting shit.
607
00:28:46,857 --> 00:28:51,190
You think you been
tackled before, nigga?
608
00:28:56,723 --> 00:29:00,956
You think you been
sacked before, nigga?
609
00:29:02,022 --> 00:29:04,737
I bet you ain't
never been sacked
610
00:29:04,937 --> 00:29:07,655
till you get sacked by a 6'8",
611
00:29:07,854 --> 00:29:10,056
285-pound nigga
612
00:29:10,256 --> 00:29:13,255
that was looking
at your ass anyway.
613
00:29:15,155 --> 00:29:16,688
He's just on the line, just...
614
00:29:24,787 --> 00:29:26,755
Blue 42!
615
00:29:26,955 --> 00:29:30,120
That nigga's gonna sack you
with love in his heart.
616
00:29:36,653 --> 00:29:39,386
"I'm down. I'm down.
I'm down."
617
00:29:56,717 --> 00:30:00,153
We have a big dick malfunction.
618
00:30:03,818 --> 00:30:07,417
So anyway, I want to come
out and finish, but...
619
00:30:07,617 --> 00:30:11,217
all of my nuts are out
of these pants right now.
620
00:30:13,185 --> 00:30:14,836
Don't worry.
I ain't went nowhere.
621
00:30:14,951 --> 00:30:16,584
I'm just noticing
622
00:30:16,784 --> 00:30:20,550
my whole testicles sac is...
623
00:30:24,950 --> 00:30:28,183
I'm going to try to just do
the jokes from right here.
624
00:30:37,814 --> 00:30:40,482
I couldn't see the screen
this whole time.
625
00:30:40,681 --> 00:30:43,349
Ladies, where are y'all at?
Make some noise.
626
00:30:47,648 --> 00:30:49,981
You motherfuckers ain't shit.
627
00:30:50,181 --> 00:30:52,381
Y'all ladies talking
about you love me,
628
00:30:52,581 --> 00:30:54,731
and you didn't tell me
my motherfucking perm
629
00:30:54,931 --> 00:30:57,130
had left the building
20 fucking minutes ago?
630
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:58,980
You didn't say shit?
631
00:30:59,180 --> 00:31:01,447
I looked up there
and thought I saw
632
00:31:01,647 --> 00:31:03,546
El DeBarge and Rick Fox
walking up
633
00:31:03,746 --> 00:31:05,646
while I'm trying
to talk this shit.
634
00:31:11,047 --> 00:31:14,046
I'll be right back.
Give me 30 seconds.
635
00:31:20,845 --> 00:31:22,779
Sorry about that.
636
00:31:24,312 --> 00:31:26,348
I tried to run back there
and change pants
637
00:31:26,378 --> 00:31:28,411
and forgot
the lion was out there.
638
00:31:30,045 --> 00:31:31,796
I ran right up
on that motherfucker.
639
00:31:34,512 --> 00:31:36,710
Fuck them pants.
Fuck that. I can...
640
00:31:36,910 --> 00:31:38,211
I was talking about we all
641
00:31:38,378 --> 00:31:40,776
got to be able to laugh
at the end of the day,
642
00:31:40,977 --> 00:31:43,376
and I talked about
the homosexuals and shit,
643
00:31:43,577 --> 00:31:45,346
because it's
a big motherfucking deal,
644
00:31:45,376 --> 00:31:47,163
and things ain't
like they used to be.
645
00:31:47,193 --> 00:31:48,893
Used to be if we
had big questions,
646
00:31:49,009 --> 00:31:50,492
there was places we could go
647
00:31:50,693 --> 00:31:52,584
and get our questions answered.
648
00:31:52,784 --> 00:31:54,476
But things done changed now.
649
00:31:54,676 --> 00:31:56,275
If you want to know
some answers,
650
00:31:56,476 --> 00:31:58,045
you got to find 'em out
yourself.
651
00:31:58,075 --> 00:32:00,641
I don't know if y'all
been to church recently,
652
00:32:00,841 --> 00:32:04,708
but church is not
answering any questions
653
00:32:04,908 --> 00:32:06,158
about anything
654
00:32:06,275 --> 00:32:08,475
at this particular time.
655
00:32:08,675 --> 00:32:10,261
I ain't talking
about white church.
656
00:32:10,291 --> 00:32:11,877
I ain't talking
about black church.
657
00:32:11,907 --> 00:32:13,206
I'm talking about church.
658
00:32:13,407 --> 00:32:15,207
Church, as official,
659
00:32:15,408 --> 00:32:18,575
has said you can
feel free to come in
660
00:32:18,774 --> 00:32:21,942
and praise and worship
all you like,
661
00:32:22,142 --> 00:32:23,942
and by all means,
662
00:32:24,141 --> 00:32:26,673
pay your motherfucking tithes,
663
00:32:26,873 --> 00:32:30,289
but if you have
any questions for Jesus,
664
00:32:30,489 --> 00:32:33,905
you should ask him
in the parking lot
665
00:32:34,106 --> 00:32:36,673
on the way to your house.
666
00:32:36,872 --> 00:32:39,572
You going to have to figure
this shit out yourself.
667
00:32:39,772 --> 00:32:41,505
White church,
668
00:32:41,705 --> 00:32:44,239
we thought they was fixing
to answer some questions
669
00:32:44,439 --> 00:32:46,672
about the Catholic scandal.
670
00:32:46,872 --> 00:32:47,940
They ain't answered
671
00:32:48,140 --> 00:32:50,672
no motherfucking questions
at all.
672
00:32:50,872 --> 00:32:51,904
Kind of fucked up.
673
00:32:52,104 --> 00:32:54,439
I was getting ready to say
something about 'em,
674
00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:56,342
and then they switched
their shit up.
675
00:32:56,372 --> 00:32:58,071
Have you seen the new Pope?
676
00:32:58,271 --> 00:33:01,238
This motherfucker ain't
like the rest of the Popes.
677
00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:03,638
This motherfucker is special.
678
00:33:03,838 --> 00:33:06,538
This motherfucker
is almost a nigga.
679
00:33:08,570 --> 00:33:11,020
He say some shit
you ain't expecting
680
00:33:11,220 --> 00:33:13,469
and then just walk the fuck off.
681
00:33:13,669 --> 00:33:15,937
They asked the new Pope.
They was like,
682
00:33:16,137 --> 00:33:17,386
"New Pope...
683
00:33:22,770 --> 00:33:26,602
...New Pope, what do you
think about homosexuals?"
684
00:33:26,802 --> 00:33:28,169
New Pope said,
685
00:33:28,369 --> 00:33:30,569
"Who am I to judge?"
686
00:33:36,303 --> 00:33:39,068
Ah, that was some gangster shit.
687
00:33:39,268 --> 00:33:40,835
I'm glad to see a Pope
688
00:33:41,035 --> 00:33:43,135
that don't look like
he ready to die.
689
00:33:44,567 --> 00:33:45,868
Shit done changed.
690
00:33:46,067 --> 00:33:47,999
They had a Pope that quit.
691
00:33:48,199 --> 00:33:49,267
What the fuck?
692
00:33:49,467 --> 00:33:51,068
How do you call in for work,
693
00:33:51,268 --> 00:33:52,935
and you work for Jesus?
694
00:33:54,199 --> 00:33:56,334
"Yeah, Jesus, I'm not
even going to be able
695
00:33:56,534 --> 00:33:57,799
to make it today.
696
00:33:57,999 --> 00:34:00,299
Nah, Jesus,
it's 10:15 traffic.
697
00:34:00,498 --> 00:34:02,799
I was not expecting
this, Jesus."
698
00:34:05,966 --> 00:34:07,433
Just saying,
699
00:34:07,633 --> 00:34:09,083
got to be able to laugh.
700
00:34:09,283 --> 00:34:10,532
I joke with the church,
701
00:34:10,732 --> 00:34:13,198
but you got to believe
in something for real.
702
00:34:13,398 --> 00:34:15,365
You got to find something
to believe in.
703
00:34:15,565 --> 00:34:16,598
Let me just say that.
704
00:34:16,797 --> 00:34:18,598
I can't tell you
what to believe.
705
00:34:18,797 --> 00:34:20,932
I'll say I'm old-fashioned.
706
00:34:21,132 --> 00:34:22,166
I'm a dinosaur.
707
00:34:22,365 --> 00:34:24,232
I still believe
that there is a God
708
00:34:24,432 --> 00:34:27,265
and that if you need Him,
you could call on Him,
709
00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:28,465
and He will help you,
710
00:34:28,597 --> 00:34:31,247
just like He be helping me
all the time.
711
00:34:31,446 --> 00:34:34,188
That's just
my own personal opinion.
712
00:34:34,388 --> 00:34:37,176
I think you should
believe in something.
713
00:34:37,376 --> 00:34:40,102
These atheists have
gotten out of control.
714
00:34:40,302 --> 00:34:43,031
These motherfuckers is
on some different shit.
715
00:34:43,231 --> 00:34:44,481
Motherfucking atheists
716
00:34:44,596 --> 00:34:46,896
sending me
death threats and shit.
717
00:34:47,096 --> 00:34:50,012
Let me... listen here,
Mr. Motherfucker Atheist.
718
00:34:50,212 --> 00:34:53,131
Ain't nobody goddamn scared
of you, motherfucker,
719
00:34:53,330 --> 00:34:55,763
'cause you ain't got no backup.
720
00:34:58,330 --> 00:35:01,029
Who the fuck is
you going to tell?
721
00:35:01,229 --> 00:35:03,562
If you kill me,
I'm going right to Jesus
722
00:35:03,762 --> 00:35:06,060
and snitching on you,
motherfucker.
723
00:35:07,693 --> 00:35:10,695
Jesus, You ain't going to believe
what they doing down there!
724
00:35:11,961 --> 00:35:14,231
You an atheist.
Who the fuck you going to tell?
725
00:35:14,261 --> 00:35:16,160
Nobody.
726
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,360
You don't believe that shit.
727
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,059
Motherfucking atheists
done got out of hand.
728
00:35:21,259 --> 00:35:24,128
Now they want to tell us
what the fuck we believe.
729
00:35:24,328 --> 00:35:25,448
I mean, "You believe in God,
730
00:35:25,594 --> 00:35:29,560
so that mean you don't
believe in science."
731
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,659
What the fuck
is you talking about?
732
00:35:31,859 --> 00:35:33,459
Motherfucker, I prayed to God
733
00:35:33,659 --> 00:35:35,059
before every science test.
734
00:35:35,259 --> 00:35:37,991
I don't know what the fuck
you talking about.
735
00:35:38,191 --> 00:35:41,159
Jesus was in my class,
you son of a...
736
00:35:45,392 --> 00:35:48,458
Atheists going to tell me,
"Well, you believe in God,
737
00:35:48,658 --> 00:35:51,391
so that mean you don't
believe in evolution."
738
00:35:51,591 --> 00:35:54,225
What the fuck
is you talking about?
739
00:35:54,425 --> 00:35:55,675
I thought evolution meant
740
00:35:55,790 --> 00:35:57,341
something started off like this
741
00:35:57,525 --> 00:35:59,690
and then later changed
into something else.
742
00:35:59,890 --> 00:36:01,623
I think God made the animals
743
00:36:01,823 --> 00:36:03,574
and then watched
them bitches evolve
744
00:36:03,758 --> 00:36:05,491
like the rest of us.
What the fuck?
745
00:36:08,623 --> 00:36:10,125
Atheists fucked up.
746
00:36:10,325 --> 00:36:12,291
Atheists hear my whole story,
747
00:36:12,491 --> 00:36:13,556
hear what I believe.
748
00:36:13,757 --> 00:36:16,090
Then he going to tell me, "No.
749
00:36:16,290 --> 00:36:19,256
That don't make
no fucking sense at all."
750
00:36:19,456 --> 00:36:22,089
Okay, well, tell me your shit.
751
00:36:22,289 --> 00:36:25,255
His shit is that
two motherfucking atoms
752
00:36:25,455 --> 00:36:27,687
just came the fuck together...
753
00:36:29,456 --> 00:36:31,855
just came together
out of nowhere,
754
00:36:32,055 --> 00:36:36,122
banged together, and made
this whole perfect Earth.
755
00:36:36,322 --> 00:36:37,821
Fuck outta here.
756
00:36:38,021 --> 00:36:40,953
You stupid enough to believe
that fuck-boy shit,
757
00:36:41,153 --> 00:36:44,087
after this show,
go outside to the parking lot
758
00:36:44,287 --> 00:36:45,755
and bang on your car
759
00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:48,870
till it becomes a better car.
760
00:36:49,070 --> 00:36:51,986
You just out there, just...
761
00:36:54,387 --> 00:36:56,387
"Still a Corolla.
Still a Corolla.
762
00:36:56,587 --> 00:36:58,021
What the..."
763
00:37:01,986 --> 00:37:03,253
Fucking atheists.
764
00:37:03,453 --> 00:37:05,952
His shit don't make
no motherfucking sense neither.
765
00:37:05,984 --> 00:37:08,418
They always want
to prove evolution
766
00:37:08,618 --> 00:37:12,652
and show you an animal
that fit all the criteria.
767
00:37:12,852 --> 00:37:15,519
Want to show me
motherfucking scorpion.
768
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:17,751
"Katt, look at this scorpion.
769
00:37:17,951 --> 00:37:19,717
You see his motherfucking skin?
770
00:37:19,917 --> 00:37:22,017
You see how tough his skin is?
771
00:37:22,216 --> 00:37:24,118
That's so you
can't fuck with it.
772
00:37:24,318 --> 00:37:27,385
Then he got
these motherfucking pincers
773
00:37:27,585 --> 00:37:29,883
so you can't fuck with it.
774
00:37:30,083 --> 00:37:33,918
Then he got
this motherfucking venom
775
00:37:34,118 --> 00:37:35,683
for you can't fuck with it."
776
00:37:35,883 --> 00:37:37,920
Well, get the fuck
over here, motherfucker,
777
00:37:37,950 --> 00:37:39,353
and look at this goddamn pig,
778
00:37:39,383 --> 00:37:41,149
and tell me why is
this motherfucker
779
00:37:41,349 --> 00:37:44,517
delicious from the rooter
to the tooter...
780
00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:49,117
with no defenses at all.
781
00:37:49,317 --> 00:37:52,081
This motherfucker
is delicious everywhere.
782
00:37:52,281 --> 00:37:54,581
Look at his sides.
That's bacon.
783
00:37:54,781 --> 00:37:57,080
Who would put bacon on the side?
784
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:58,981
Jesus.
785
00:37:59,181 --> 00:38:01,115
Jesus cares
about your breakfast.
786
00:38:01,315 --> 00:38:03,015
He does. He always...
787
00:38:03,949 --> 00:38:06,380
Atheists want you to believe
788
00:38:06,580 --> 00:38:09,180
two motherfucking atoms
banged together
789
00:38:09,381 --> 00:38:10,680
made this whole Earth.
790
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,883
That shit mean they should be
able to get on the Space Shuttle,
791
00:38:13,913 --> 00:38:16,530
fly around, and find a place
792
00:38:16,729 --> 00:38:19,104
where them same two atoms
793
00:38:19,304 --> 00:38:21,479
had banged together before
794
00:38:21,679 --> 00:38:24,078
and made
some other perfect shit.
795
00:38:24,278 --> 00:38:25,844
That's not what they see.
796
00:38:26,044 --> 00:38:27,412
Every planet they see
797
00:38:27,612 --> 00:38:29,911
is more fucked up than
the last planet. Just...
798
00:38:29,994 --> 00:38:32,190
♪ Fucked up, fucked up,
fucked up, fucked up ♪
799
00:38:32,220 --> 00:38:34,416
♪ Fucked up, fucked up,
fucked up, fucked up. ♪
800
00:38:34,446 --> 00:38:35,566
How you know it's fucked up?
801
00:38:35,713 --> 00:38:37,077
Ain't nobody on it.
802
00:38:40,610 --> 00:38:42,911
That's why we got
to watch everything.
803
00:38:43,112 --> 00:38:44,362
You can't believe shit.
804
00:38:44,445 --> 00:38:47,313
I'm saying... I ain't saying
you can't trust nobody.
805
00:38:47,513 --> 00:38:50,045
I'm just saying
can't nobody be trusted.
806
00:38:51,877 --> 00:38:54,777
These motherfuckers
have already told us
807
00:38:54,976 --> 00:38:57,876
the NSA can hear
every conversation we make
808
00:38:58,076 --> 00:39:00,843
and see every text that we send.
809
00:39:01,043 --> 00:39:02,343
So you explain to me
810
00:39:02,543 --> 00:39:04,426
how the fuck a whole airplane
811
00:39:04,626 --> 00:39:07,285
could go missing in this bitch
812
00:39:07,485 --> 00:39:09,942
with 271 motherfuckers on it,
813
00:39:10,142 --> 00:39:13,974
and everybody trying to act
like ain't shit happened.
814
00:39:14,174 --> 00:39:16,209
Aren't we in the same country
815
00:39:16,409 --> 00:39:19,409
where two airplanes ran into
our goddamn buildings,
816
00:39:19,610 --> 00:39:21,559
and we don't know
where they are, right?
817
00:39:21,642 --> 00:39:23,241
We can all see this shit.
818
00:39:23,442 --> 00:39:26,509
The police
is on some different shit.
819
00:39:26,709 --> 00:39:28,574
I know you noticed it here.
820
00:39:28,774 --> 00:39:31,807
I want you to know
it's like that everywhere.
821
00:39:32,007 --> 00:39:34,674
The police is
on some different shit.
822
00:39:34,874 --> 00:39:37,541
Now, I know
it's some cops in here.
823
00:39:37,741 --> 00:39:39,141
We do not mean y'all.
824
00:39:40,740 --> 00:39:42,672
Y'all are doing a great job.
825
00:39:42,873 --> 00:39:44,122
We appreciate it.
826
00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:46,872
Just doing your job,
keeping us safe out there,
827
00:39:47,072 --> 00:39:48,340
and thank you so much.
828
00:39:48,540 --> 00:39:52,273
It's the ones outside
we talking about.
829
00:39:52,473 --> 00:39:54,807
They on some different shit.
830
00:39:55,006 --> 00:39:58,371
The police used to be
serve and protect.
831
00:39:58,571 --> 00:40:01,938
Used to be you are
presumed innocent
832
00:40:02,138 --> 00:40:04,706
until you are proven guilty.
833
00:40:04,907 --> 00:40:07,007
Police is
on some different shit.
834
00:40:07,207 --> 00:40:10,139
They done figured out
they can kill your ass today
835
00:40:10,339 --> 00:40:13,271
and come up with a story
for the news tomorrow.
836
00:40:13,472 --> 00:40:15,371
They done figured that shit out,
837
00:40:15,571 --> 00:40:16,887
and they done got so good,
838
00:40:17,087 --> 00:40:18,375
they can show us the truth,
839
00:40:18,405 --> 00:40:21,004
and we can see the truth
with our own eyes,
840
00:40:21,204 --> 00:40:23,804
and then they can lie to us
at the same time
841
00:40:24,003 --> 00:40:26,603
and confuse us about the truth
842
00:40:26,803 --> 00:40:29,502
we just saw with our own eyes.
843
00:40:29,702 --> 00:40:32,436
Okay, the first time
we all saw it
844
00:40:32,636 --> 00:40:35,069
was at the Boston Marathon
bombing.
845
00:40:35,269 --> 00:40:37,702
Everybody was
looking for the fake-ass,
846
00:40:37,902 --> 00:40:39,203
bullshit-ass terrorists.
847
00:40:39,403 --> 00:40:41,002
He had a four-day head start.
848
00:40:41,202 --> 00:40:43,402
He could have been anywhere.
849
00:40:43,602 --> 00:40:45,602
But we knew he was in the boat
850
00:40:45,801 --> 00:40:48,303
'cause they told us
he was in the boat
851
00:40:48,503 --> 00:40:49,503
from a helicopter.
852
00:40:49,635 --> 00:40:51,385
"That's him in the boat
right there.
853
00:40:51,569 --> 00:40:53,003
That's him in the boat."
854
00:40:53,203 --> 00:40:55,639
Drew a picture around him.
"That's him laying down
855
00:40:55,669 --> 00:40:57,802
at the bottom of the boat.
That's..."
856
00:40:58,002 --> 00:41:00,135
Then they said,
"The police are here.
857
00:41:00,334 --> 00:41:02,201
We going to back up,
858
00:41:02,401 --> 00:41:04,483
let the police go in
859
00:41:04,683 --> 00:41:06,759
and begin negotiations."
860
00:41:06,959 --> 00:41:09,034
And all we heard was...
861
00:41:14,401 --> 00:41:16,283
Then they cut to commercial.
862
00:41:16,483 --> 00:41:18,166
By the time they came back,
863
00:41:18,367 --> 00:41:20,598
that motherfucker had
20 holes in his chest,
864
00:41:20,798 --> 00:41:22,415
a tunnel in his throat.
865
00:41:22,615 --> 00:41:24,390
The next day, they say,
866
00:41:24,590 --> 00:41:26,367
"He was in a gunfight...
867
00:41:30,132 --> 00:41:32,665
...but he didn't
have a gun."
868
00:41:36,632 --> 00:41:39,298
Ask a nigga,
that is not a gunfight.
869
00:41:39,498 --> 00:41:42,014
That's a drive-by
right there. That's...
870
00:41:42,213 --> 00:41:44,731
that's an execution
you got caught in.
871
00:41:46,398 --> 00:41:48,763
Second time we saw it...
872
00:41:48,963 --> 00:41:51,762
second time we saw it was in LA
873
00:41:51,962 --> 00:41:54,131
when they was looking
for the ex-black cop,
874
00:41:54,331 --> 00:41:55,698
Christopher Dorner.
875
00:41:55,898 --> 00:41:58,463
That was some scary shit.
876
00:41:58,662 --> 00:42:01,029
They wanted that nigga bad.
877
00:42:01,229 --> 00:42:04,128
Let me just tell you
I was in LA at the time,
878
00:42:04,328 --> 00:42:07,230
and let me just say you
do not want to be a nigga
879
00:42:07,430 --> 00:42:09,997
when they are looking
for niggas.
880
00:42:10,197 --> 00:42:12,662
That was some scary shit.
881
00:42:12,862 --> 00:42:16,694
I didn't realize how much of
my time I spent being black
882
00:42:16,895 --> 00:42:19,628
till I had to try
to drive white for two days.
883
00:42:19,828 --> 00:42:23,028
I'm all up
on the steering wheel.
884
00:42:38,327 --> 00:42:40,296
Them motherfuckers
wanted that nigga bad.
885
00:42:40,326 --> 00:42:43,194
They shot up two Hispanic women
886
00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:44,959
in a pickup truck
887
00:42:45,159 --> 00:42:48,159
delivering newspapers
at 4:30 in the morning
888
00:42:48,359 --> 00:42:50,060
looking for a nigga.
Wait a minute.
889
00:42:50,226 --> 00:42:53,059
That is too early
and too late for niggas.
890
00:42:53,259 --> 00:42:56,260
We not fixing to be nowhere
at 4:30 in the morning,
891
00:42:56,460 --> 00:42:59,359
not even if we supposed to be.
892
00:43:01,158 --> 00:43:03,957
But we knew
893
00:43:04,157 --> 00:43:05,658
he was in the cabin
894
00:43:05,857 --> 00:43:08,924
'cause they told us
he was in the cabin.
895
00:43:09,124 --> 00:43:10,557
"He's in the cabin.
896
00:43:10,758 --> 00:43:13,124
The police have him
completely surrounded.
897
00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:15,524
There's nowhere for him to go.
898
00:43:15,724 --> 00:43:17,441
We're going to back up,
899
00:43:17,641 --> 00:43:19,581
let the police go in
900
00:43:19,781 --> 00:43:21,523
and begin negotiations."
901
00:43:21,723 --> 00:43:25,356
And all we saw was,
"Get that motherfucker!"
902
00:43:31,323 --> 00:43:34,523
Then they said, "It looks
like he committed suicide."
903
00:43:36,922 --> 00:43:40,122
They just barbecued
this nigga on national TV.
904
00:43:46,122 --> 00:43:49,854
I know the police
is on some different shit.
905
00:43:50,054 --> 00:43:52,387
You don't have to tell me.
906
00:43:52,587 --> 00:43:54,587
I found out the hard way.
907
00:43:54,787 --> 00:43:56,587
They did some shit to me
908
00:43:56,787 --> 00:43:58,837
I didn't even know
they was allowed to do.
909
00:43:58,919 --> 00:44:00,853
I knew they could take
a nigga to jail.
910
00:44:01,053 --> 00:44:02,087
I thought that was it.
911
00:44:02,287 --> 00:44:05,388
These motherfuckers put me
in a real mental institution
912
00:44:05,588 --> 00:44:07,421
with real crazy people.
913
00:44:07,620 --> 00:44:09,386
What the fuck?!
914
00:44:09,586 --> 00:44:11,586
I might have thought I was crazy
915
00:44:11,786 --> 00:44:14,852
till you put me in here with
the real crazy motherfuckers.
916
00:44:15,052 --> 00:44:17,620
Now I know I'm sane as shit.
917
00:44:17,820 --> 00:44:20,785
You ain't lived till you
try to break up a fight
918
00:44:20,985 --> 00:44:23,602
with a motherfucker and hisself.
919
00:44:23,802 --> 00:44:26,418
"Fuck you, nigga.
Fuck you."
920
00:44:26,618 --> 00:44:27,618
"One of y'all is right.
921
00:44:27,818 --> 00:44:29,269
That's all I'm trying to say.
922
00:44:29,319 --> 00:44:31,768
I ain't trying to be
in your business or nothing."
923
00:44:34,286 --> 00:44:35,718
It's fucked up.
924
00:44:35,918 --> 00:44:37,868
Here the fuck I tell jokes
for a living.
925
00:44:37,950 --> 00:44:39,751
These motherfuckers
got me handcuffed
926
00:44:39,784 --> 00:44:42,516
to a nigga who's scraping
demons out his face.
927
00:44:42,716 --> 00:44:44,117
He...
928
00:44:45,485 --> 00:44:46,517
I'm over there like,
929
00:44:46,717 --> 00:44:50,017
"Jesus, this is
your humble servant, Lord.
930
00:44:51,517 --> 00:44:54,750
There's clearly been
a miscommunication, Jesus.
931
00:44:56,549 --> 00:44:57,799
Just saying this burden
932
00:44:57,849 --> 00:45:00,020
is a little bit too heavy
for your servant, Lord.
933
00:45:00,050 --> 00:45:03,384
If you could just remove
this boulder
934
00:45:03,584 --> 00:45:04,624
off a nigga's back, Jesus,
935
00:45:04,748 --> 00:45:07,316
I'd really appreciate it, Lord.
936
00:45:07,516 --> 00:45:09,882
I'm just...
I'm just saying, Jesus,
937
00:45:10,082 --> 00:45:13,382
my cup runneth over, Lord,
is what I'm saying,
938
00:45:13,582 --> 00:45:16,882
and, thing is,
I ain't even thirsty, Jesus,
939
00:45:17,082 --> 00:45:18,333
not a little bit.
940
00:45:18,383 --> 00:45:20,097
You can take this whole cup,
941
00:45:20,296 --> 00:45:22,015
the pitcher, the carafe,
942
00:45:22,214 --> 00:45:24,413
all of it, Jesus."
943
00:45:24,614 --> 00:45:26,413
Fucked up.
944
00:45:26,613 --> 00:45:28,717
You in that motherfucker,
and all you thinking is,
945
00:45:28,747 --> 00:45:31,230
"I can't wait to get
the fuck out of here,
946
00:45:31,430 --> 00:45:33,914
and there ain't shit
going to make me stay
947
00:45:34,114 --> 00:45:35,480
in this son of a bitch."
948
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:39,680
But they got some medication
in the crazy house
949
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:43,280
that will put an elephant
on his back.
950
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,881
And I don't know if you
can see from your chair,
951
00:45:47,081 --> 00:45:50,246
but I'm not even
a baby elephant,
952
00:45:50,446 --> 00:45:54,044
and they still gave me
the whole elephant's pill.
953
00:45:54,244 --> 00:45:57,061
I have a trunk,
but I am no elephant.
954
00:45:57,261 --> 00:46:00,079
They had me
on five, six medications
955
00:46:00,278 --> 00:46:02,029
at one motherfucking time,
956
00:46:02,228 --> 00:46:03,779
just trying to break a nigga.
957
00:46:03,978 --> 00:46:06,828
They had me on some shit
named Seroquel.
958
00:46:07,028 --> 00:46:09,678
I don't know what the fuck
is in Seroquel,
959
00:46:09,878 --> 00:46:12,643
but I think Satan's penis
is in it, I really do,
960
00:46:12,844 --> 00:46:14,677
because it's from Hell.
961
00:46:14,876 --> 00:46:15,643
That shit...
962
00:46:15,843 --> 00:46:18,279
if you whisper "Seroquel" to me,
963
00:46:18,478 --> 00:46:19,978
I become a different nigga.
964
00:46:20,178 --> 00:46:22,043
Just... Seroquel.
965
00:46:31,476 --> 00:46:35,476
I'm just trying to find
my happy place.
966
00:46:35,676 --> 00:46:39,442
I love these soft-ass pants.
967
00:46:39,642 --> 00:46:42,608
It's fucked up.
968
00:46:42,808 --> 00:46:44,341
I got out that motherfucker.
969
00:46:44,541 --> 00:46:45,541
I said I'm going to fix
970
00:46:45,739 --> 00:46:48,090
every motherfucking thing
that's wrong with me.
971
00:46:48,290 --> 00:46:50,641
I'm going to fucking
get all my shit together.
972
00:46:50,841 --> 00:46:51,841
That's when I realized
973
00:46:52,041 --> 00:46:53,975
you can't even trust
simple shit.
974
00:46:54,175 --> 00:46:57,125
We used to think our doctor
gave a fuck about us.
975
00:46:57,325 --> 00:47:00,274
We used to think our doctor
wanted us to get better
976
00:47:00,474 --> 00:47:02,007
so we would be better.
977
00:47:02,206 --> 00:47:04,657
Our doctor don't
give a fuck about us.
978
00:47:04,857 --> 00:47:07,307
That motherfucker
is making money,
979
00:47:07,506 --> 00:47:08,757
and that is it.
980
00:47:08,807 --> 00:47:11,838
He is a drug dealer
just like the drug dealers.
981
00:47:12,038 --> 00:47:13,972
Ain't no motherfucking
difference.
982
00:47:14,172 --> 00:47:16,022
It's fucked up.
It's fucked up.
983
00:47:16,222 --> 00:47:17,813
'Cause the medicine commercials
984
00:47:18,013 --> 00:47:19,514
have really gone over the top.
985
00:47:19,606 --> 00:47:21,788
They don't even
give a fuck about us
986
00:47:21,988 --> 00:47:23,972
as people
any-motherfucking-more.
987
00:47:24,172 --> 00:47:26,371
Do you remember
when they used to at least
988
00:47:26,571 --> 00:47:30,605
have the common decency
to whisper the side effect
989
00:47:30,805 --> 00:47:32,305
at the end of the...
990
00:47:32,505 --> 00:47:35,272
you could barely hear
the fucked-up shit
991
00:47:35,472 --> 00:47:37,238
that could
possibly happen to you.
992
00:47:37,438 --> 00:47:39,671
They just,
"Possible side effects are...
993
00:47:46,636 --> 00:47:47,885
Now these motherfuckers
994
00:47:48,035 --> 00:47:49,751
say the motherfucking
side effect
995
00:47:49,951 --> 00:47:51,553
so motherfucking loud and proud,
996
00:47:51,669 --> 00:47:54,636
you forget what the fuck
they were supposed to be curing
997
00:47:54,835 --> 00:47:56,085
in the first place.
998
00:47:56,270 --> 00:47:59,470
And they just keep
going and going, just...
999
00:47:59,670 --> 00:48:02,869
"Are you tired of hangnails
ruining your life?
1000
00:48:04,901 --> 00:48:06,372
Well, just take
this simple pill,
1001
00:48:06,402 --> 00:48:09,102
and in two weeks,
you'll be jumping rope
1002
00:48:09,301 --> 00:48:11,334
and running back to usual.
1003
00:48:11,534 --> 00:48:13,368
Possible side effects are
1004
00:48:13,568 --> 00:48:16,469
loss of the rest of your toes,
1005
00:48:16,668 --> 00:48:18,468
fucked-up ankles,
1006
00:48:18,668 --> 00:48:20,268
dislocated kneecaps,
1007
00:48:20,468 --> 00:48:22,667
separation of thigh meat,
1008
00:48:22,867 --> 00:48:24,201
hip dysplasia,
1009
00:48:24,401 --> 00:48:26,300
innie-outie belly button,
1010
00:48:26,501 --> 00:48:28,034
female breasts.
1011
00:48:28,234 --> 00:48:30,500
If you have two Adam's apples,
1012
00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:31,700
if your chin falls off,
1013
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:34,132
if you go blind or deaf
for any reason..."
1014
00:48:34,332 --> 00:48:35,033
What the fuck?!
1015
00:48:35,233 --> 00:48:38,032
Just cut
my goddamn toe off, bitch.
1016
00:48:38,233 --> 00:48:39,766
I got shit to do.
1017
00:48:42,499 --> 00:48:44,648
Just saying you got to try
whatever you can.
1018
00:48:44,731 --> 00:48:45,798
If you in a relationship,
1019
00:48:45,998 --> 00:48:48,298
you can't afford to take
that shit for granted,
1020
00:48:48,498 --> 00:48:51,049
'cause you don't know when
bullshit going to happen,
1021
00:48:51,231 --> 00:48:52,266
and you need somebody
1022
00:48:52,467 --> 00:48:55,466
that you can post the fuck
up with in times of trouble.
1023
00:48:55,666 --> 00:48:59,466
I didn't know you could
stay single too long.
1024
00:48:59,666 --> 00:49:02,031
Nobody fucking told me that.
1025
00:49:02,231 --> 00:49:04,297
I fucked around,
stayed single so long,
1026
00:49:04,497 --> 00:49:06,865
now I'm in the gray area.
1027
00:49:09,730 --> 00:49:11,097
I'm in the gray area.
1028
00:49:11,297 --> 00:49:14,331
I didn't even know
there was a gray area.
1029
00:49:14,531 --> 00:49:16,297
I stayed single too long.
1030
00:49:16,497 --> 00:49:19,163
Everybody I fuck,
she's either too young
1031
00:49:19,363 --> 00:49:21,328
or she's too motherfucking old.
1032
00:49:21,528 --> 00:49:25,196
If she's too young,
she's a greedy rabbit.
1033
00:49:25,396 --> 00:49:28,429
If she's too old,
she's a needy fish.
1034
00:49:28,629 --> 00:49:31,195
Both of 'em got different shit.
1035
00:49:31,395 --> 00:49:34,296
If she too young,
you know she too young.
1036
00:49:34,496 --> 00:49:35,745
How do you know?
1037
00:49:35,863 --> 00:49:39,178
She is doing
everything she ever saw
1038
00:49:39,378 --> 00:49:42,495
on any porno
on your nonporno dick.
1039
00:49:42,695 --> 00:49:45,162
Shit that has nothing
to do with sex at all.
1040
00:49:45,362 --> 00:49:46,612
She just...
1041
00:49:57,694 --> 00:49:59,496
Fellas, have you
ever been fucking her,
1042
00:49:59,526 --> 00:50:01,977
and she too young, and you
realize halfway through
1043
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,692
this is not a fuck,
this is a fight?
1044
00:50:06,024 --> 00:50:09,059
She don't give a fuck
about your pelvis at all.
1045
00:50:10,426 --> 00:50:11,677
Fellas, you ever had her
1046
00:50:11,861 --> 00:50:13,693
knock you off your pivot foot?
1047
00:50:17,260 --> 00:50:18,509
She just...
1048
00:50:26,492 --> 00:50:28,692
A greedy rabbit.
1049
00:50:30,191 --> 00:50:31,823
Both of 'em talk too much.
1050
00:50:32,859 --> 00:50:35,390
But at least the greedy rabbit
1051
00:50:35,590 --> 00:50:38,058
is saying inspirational,
1052
00:50:38,258 --> 00:50:41,258
motivational shit to the dick.
1053
00:50:41,458 --> 00:50:43,340
She just, "Yes, yes, yes,
1054
00:50:43,540 --> 00:50:45,424
yes, yes, yes, that's good.
1055
00:50:45,623 --> 00:50:46,873
All right. That's good.
1056
00:50:46,957 --> 00:50:49,989
Right.
Yes, yes, yes, yes."
1057
00:50:53,722 --> 00:50:55,655
The old one talk too much too...
1058
00:50:57,390 --> 00:51:00,621
but you can't
understand shit she saying.
1059
00:51:00,821 --> 00:51:02,071
When you do,
1060
00:51:02,121 --> 00:51:05,156
it's going to scare
the shit out of you.
1061
00:51:05,356 --> 00:51:07,720
She just, "Raah.
1062
00:51:09,787 --> 00:51:11,221
Raah.
1063
00:51:13,255 --> 00:51:14,955
Eh, glory.
1064
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:18,553
Ah, Jes... hah.
1065
00:51:19,487 --> 00:51:20,887
Ah, hot water, corn bread.
1066
00:51:21,087 --> 00:51:22,454
Ah-hah."
1067
00:51:29,586 --> 00:51:30,954
She's too old.
1068
00:51:31,153 --> 00:51:33,519
She's a needy fish.
1069
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:36,135
Got to pay attention to her.
1070
00:51:36,335 --> 00:51:38,752
They ain't like a young one.
1071
00:51:38,952 --> 00:51:39,986
As a fella,
1072
00:51:40,185 --> 00:51:43,454
you just used to showing up
at the battlefield...
1073
00:51:45,253 --> 00:51:47,585
unsheathing your sword,
1074
00:51:47,785 --> 00:51:50,853
and jumping
right into the battle.
1075
00:51:51,052 --> 00:51:52,817
Not if she too old.
1076
00:51:53,016 --> 00:51:54,517
No, you got to watch her.
1077
00:51:54,716 --> 00:51:57,550
You used to being able
to just watch her face
1078
00:51:57,750 --> 00:51:59,301
and know how you doing.
1079
00:51:59,501 --> 00:52:00,851
Not if she too old,
1080
00:52:01,052 --> 00:52:03,450
'cause you don't know
none of her faces.
1081
00:52:03,650 --> 00:52:07,549
She fixing to come
and die with the same face.
1082
00:52:07,749 --> 00:52:10,083
How the fuck
am I supposed to know?
1083
00:52:10,283 --> 00:52:11,532
She just...
1084
00:52:25,782 --> 00:52:27,749
Just saying,
1085
00:52:27,949 --> 00:52:30,049
they're both different.
1086
00:52:30,250 --> 00:52:33,031
I stayed single
too motherfucking long,
1087
00:52:33,231 --> 00:52:35,814
and the world
is beginning to change.
1088
00:52:36,014 --> 00:52:40,014
And I been hearing ladies
think motherfuckers
1089
00:52:40,213 --> 00:52:42,380
have changed
as it comes to them.
1090
00:52:42,580 --> 00:52:44,147
Ladies, I can't speak
1091
00:52:44,347 --> 00:52:46,848
for all men in attendance today,
1092
00:52:47,048 --> 00:52:48,048
but I can speak
1093
00:52:48,248 --> 00:52:51,347
for all heterosexual men
in attendance today,
1094
00:52:51,547 --> 00:52:53,180
and, ladies, let me say
1095
00:52:53,380 --> 00:52:56,480
nothing between men
and women has changed at all.
1096
00:52:56,679 --> 00:52:58,412
We love y'all now
1097
00:52:58,612 --> 00:53:01,213
the same way we
have always loved y'all.
1098
00:53:01,413 --> 00:53:04,012
We put pussy
above everything on Earth,
1099
00:53:04,212 --> 00:53:05,611
same as usual.
1100
00:53:05,811 --> 00:53:07,679
Pussy, then the rest of it,
1101
00:53:07,879 --> 00:53:09,511
that's how it goes.
1102
00:53:09,711 --> 00:53:11,146
Pussy's so good,
1103
00:53:11,346 --> 00:53:13,412
we don't even have
good reasons for it.
1104
00:53:13,612 --> 00:53:15,510
Pussy is delicious...
1105
00:53:17,478 --> 00:53:19,412
because it has pussy in it.
1106
00:53:20,878 --> 00:53:24,177
That's been good enough for
men for thousands of years.
1107
00:53:25,411 --> 00:53:26,845
And as men,
1108
00:53:27,045 --> 00:53:29,676
we hate to see
pussy get attacked.
1109
00:53:30,877 --> 00:53:32,309
We all as men
1110
00:53:32,510 --> 00:53:34,877
remember where we were last year
1111
00:53:35,077 --> 00:53:39,077
when we saw pussy get
attacked for the first time,
1112
00:53:39,277 --> 00:53:42,176
when Michael Douglas got on TV
1113
00:53:42,376 --> 00:53:45,276
and said he caught throat cancer
1114
00:53:45,476 --> 00:53:46,942
from eating pussy.
1115
00:53:47,142 --> 00:53:48,409
Every man in the world
1116
00:53:48,609 --> 00:53:50,859
stopped in front
of his TV, like,
1117
00:53:51,058 --> 00:53:53,249
"What the fuck,
Michael Douglas?!
1118
00:53:53,449 --> 00:53:55,641
Don't throw pussy under the bus,
1119
00:53:55,841 --> 00:53:57,242
you son of a bitch.
1120
00:53:57,442 --> 00:53:59,757
Say you were smoking
Cuban cigars
1121
00:53:59,957 --> 00:54:02,274
and sucking dick,
you motherfucker."
1122
00:54:05,442 --> 00:54:08,357
Life is already
too hard as it is.
1123
00:54:08,557 --> 00:54:11,473
You can't die from eating pussy.
1124
00:54:11,673 --> 00:54:13,774
That's in Revelations.
1125
00:54:17,506 --> 00:54:20,106
You already embarrassed
to eat the box
1126
00:54:20,306 --> 00:54:22,141
for the first time as it is.
1127
00:54:22,341 --> 00:54:25,073
Now this bitch done
got a hair in my throat.
1128
00:54:25,274 --> 00:54:28,005
I thought she was trying
to assassinate me. I...
1129
00:54:28,205 --> 00:54:29,672
"Agh.
1130
00:54:29,872 --> 00:54:33,638
Ah, you dirty bitch. Agh.
1131
00:54:33,838 --> 00:54:35,405
Agh, I can't believe
1132
00:54:35,605 --> 00:54:38,439
you brought that smoky-ass
uterus over here, bitch.
1133
00:54:38,639 --> 00:54:39,890
Agh.
1134
00:54:40,072 --> 00:54:42,704
Ah, I feel a tumor in my throat
already, bitch. Agh."
1135
00:54:53,038 --> 00:54:54,671
In conclusion...
1136
00:54:56,871 --> 00:54:59,271
when we leave this building,
1137
00:54:59,471 --> 00:55:02,404
the police
is going to be out there.
1138
00:55:07,502 --> 00:55:09,570
The people that...
1139
00:55:09,770 --> 00:55:12,037
the people that hate you
1140
00:55:12,237 --> 00:55:14,520
not because
you better than them,
1141
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:17,001
but because
you try harder than them
1142
00:55:17,201 --> 00:55:19,267
and you work harder than them,
1143
00:55:19,467 --> 00:55:21,535
and you care
more than they do...
1144
00:55:22,969 --> 00:55:25,202
...those people
are outside, and...
1145
00:55:25,402 --> 00:55:28,100
and the people that say
even if you doing good,
1146
00:55:28,300 --> 00:55:30,000
you is fixing to fuck up,
1147
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:31,700
them people are outside.
1148
00:55:31,900 --> 00:55:34,350
And the people that see
you fucked up and go,
1149
00:55:34,551 --> 00:55:37,001
"I bet you don't come back,"
they outside too.
1150
00:55:37,201 --> 00:55:40,068
But what's in here
is people that know
1151
00:55:40,267 --> 00:55:41,334
no matter how shit looks,
1152
00:55:41,534 --> 00:55:43,899
the real shit is
going to be the real shit
1153
00:55:44,099 --> 00:55:47,050
as long as real shit
is valuable.
1154
00:55:47,250 --> 00:55:50,200
Because everybody in the world
1155
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:51,650
has a price,
1156
00:55:51,732 --> 00:55:53,499
because if you didn't,
1157
00:55:53,699 --> 00:55:55,266
you'd be priceless.
1158
00:55:55,466 --> 00:55:58,465
This is to the motherfuckers
who cannot be bought,
1159
00:55:58,666 --> 00:56:00,565
but can be fought.
Y'all been all that.
1160
00:56:00,715 --> 00:56:02,535
I'm Katt Williams.
Thank you ever so much.
1161
00:56:02,565 --> 00:56:05,630
Please give it up for our director,
our announcers.
1162
00:56:05,831 --> 00:56:07,898
Please give it up for...
I see you.
1163
00:56:08,098 --> 00:56:09,502
Please give it up for yourself
1164
00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:10,265
for believing in me.
1165
00:56:10,465 --> 00:56:11,735
God bless you, and good night.
1166
00:56:11,765 --> 00:56:12,957
This is how we do it.
1167
00:56:12,981 --> 00:56:13,981
♪ Let's do it ♪
1168
00:56:14,016 --> 00:56:15,967
♪ All out like Janet
at the Super Bowl ♪
1169
00:56:16,117 --> 00:56:18,466
♪ Falling on these hos
like I'm getting rolled ♪
1170
00:56:18,581 --> 00:56:21,018
♪ You niggas burn me all day
in my street clothes ♪
1171
00:56:21,048 --> 00:56:23,249
♪ Pull up, and I'm flexing
with your new ho ♪
1172
00:56:23,316 --> 00:56:25,085
♪ Yep, man,
that's just how I do it ♪
1173
00:56:25,115 --> 00:56:27,614
♪ 20 deep in the club like
it ain't nothing to it ♪
1174
00:56:27,714 --> 00:56:30,064
♪ Money is the language
and, yeah, I'm flowing ♪
1175
00:56:30,113 --> 00:56:32,463
♪ Like a high-top fade
with my last name Ewing ♪
1176
00:56:32,513 --> 00:56:33,916
♪ You ain't heard,
you ain't heard ♪
1177
00:56:33,946 --> 00:56:36,383
♪ I'm the man round here,
money, hos, and clothes ♪
1178
00:56:36,413 --> 00:56:37,653
♪ That's the play around here ♪
1179
00:56:37,678 --> 00:56:40,127
♪ Couple freaks in the club,
girl, do your thing ♪
1180
00:56:40,177 --> 00:56:42,647
♪ Back it up on the young,
shit, that's what I gave ♪
1181
00:56:42,677 --> 00:56:44,577
♪ Hey, I got a swag
ladies kill for ♪
1182
00:56:44,777 --> 00:56:47,129
♪ Whip outside, and it's
sitting on the low post ♪
1183
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,659
♪ The homeys turnt up,
probably got the four-four ♪
1184
00:56:49,768 --> 00:56:52,347
♪ So chill, brah, we don't
want to have to let it go ♪
1185
00:56:52,377 --> 00:56:54,378
♪ Boo-yah, go like
Slick Rick the Ruler ♪
1186
00:56:54,410 --> 00:56:55,911
♪ Ass so phat,
I need a ruler ♪
1187
00:56:56,111 --> 00:56:58,460
♪ We be going all out,
everybody know us ♪
1188
00:56:58,660 --> 00:57:01,010
♪ Every time I show up,
better that we go up ♪
1189
00:57:01,210 --> 00:57:03,642
♪ Bitch, I speed
in a whip like trotter ♪
1190
00:57:03,842 --> 00:57:05,491
♪ I ain't worried
about a header ♪
1191
00:57:05,641 --> 00:57:06,342
♪ I just count gwap ♪
1192
00:57:06,542 --> 00:57:08,174
♪ Turn up
all these hos in here ♪
1193
00:57:08,374 --> 00:57:10,774
♪ Going strong in the VIP,
let 'em know we here ♪
1194
00:57:10,890 --> 00:57:13,208
- ♪ We going all out ♪
- ♪ All out, all out ♪
1195
00:57:13,408 --> 00:57:15,640
♪ Yeah, we ball out,
ball out, ball out ♪
1196
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:17,840
♪ Going all out,
all out, all out ♪
1197
00:57:18,039 --> 00:57:20,505
♪ Going strong in the VIP,
let 'em know we here ♪
1198
00:57:20,705 --> 00:57:22,907
♪ Hey, all out
like Girls Gone Wild ♪
1199
00:57:23,107 --> 00:57:25,420
♪ Ball so hard,
hating niggas want to foul ♪
1200
00:57:25,621 --> 00:57:27,938
♪ Like, swish, we be
doing hard in the field ♪
1201
00:57:28,138 --> 00:57:29,971
♪ Got a couple hos
here to wheel ♪
1202
00:57:30,172 --> 00:57:31,474
♪ Pushing at the 110, whatty ♪
1203
00:57:31,504 --> 00:57:32,504
♪ Banging that even 40 ♪
1204
00:57:32,604 --> 00:57:34,754
♪ 24s on the thing,
I call that shit Cubby ♪
1205
00:57:34,869 --> 00:57:37,521
♪ Got gold in my Rolly,
money make you wanna know me ♪
1206
00:57:37,704 --> 00:57:40,137
♪ I'm copping everything
like Axel Foley ♪
1207
00:57:40,337 --> 00:57:42,437
♪ G-G-Got the club
all turnt up ♪
1208
00:57:42,637 --> 00:57:43,886
♪ Turnt up... ♪
87847
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