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1
00:00:03,900 --> 00:00:07,700
##Ahh, The Simpsons ##
2
00:01:05,700 --> 00:01:07,600
D'oh!
3
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,400
Homer, you silly goose.
4
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,700
The weed-whacker's
just for the edges.
5
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,400
You'll be out here
all day.
6
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:33,600
I'm almost done.
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00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,100
You are a picture
and a half.
8
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,500
If you're finished by tomorrow,
come on over...
9
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:42,200
and we'll put the heat
to the meat.
10
00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:43,800
Nummy-nummy-num!
11
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:44,900
I'll be there!
12
00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:46,300
...Notty-notty-not.
13
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,500
''The Flanders are having
a beef-a-thon!
14
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,000
Incredible Nedibles!
Maudacious vittles!''
15
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,500
I think it means
he's having a barbecue.
16
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,300
Why doesn't he
just say so?!
17
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,100
He's trying to be friendly.
18
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:59,300
If you gave Ned Flanders
a chance--
19
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,500
I don't care if he is
the nicest guy in the world.
20
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:03,500
He's a jerk.
21
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:04,600
End of story.
22
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,400
We can't hold it against him...
23
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,600
just because he has things
better than we do.
24
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,900
Excuse me? Better?
25
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,200
Thanks a lot, Marge.
26
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,700
You put me in my place.
27
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,800
Oh, Homer...
28
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:17,100
It's worth feeling
three inches tall...
29
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,600
to find out what kind
of person you are...
30
00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:23,600
Marge Simpson, president of
the ''We Love Flanders'' fan club.
31
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,800
Fee, fi,
fo, fum!
32
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,300
I smell
the potatoes au gratin...
33
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,800
of Marge Simpson.
34
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,300
Mm-mm-mm-mmm!
35
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,500
Hi, Ned.
36
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,800
Um... Homer sends
his apologies...
37
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,000
but, um...
38
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:39,700
there was some important work
at the plant...
39
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,800
that only he
could take care of.
40
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:45,000
We now return to the Canadian
Football League draft.
41
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,700
And so, the Rough Riders...
42
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:49,800
who scored only four rouges
all last season,Jack...
43
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:50,800
Stupid Flanders.
44
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,000
Go ahead, Marge.
45
00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:53,000
Have a ball.
46
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,500
What if they came back...
47
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,500
and I was dead from not eating?
48
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,300
They'd cry their eyes out.
49
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,000
''We should have never gone
to the Flanders'.
50
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,000
''Why did we go
to the Flanders'
51
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,100
and leave Homer alone
with no food?''
52
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,000
And I'd be laughing--
Laughing from my grave.
53
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,100
Heh, heh, heh.
54
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,100
What is it, boy?
55
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,300
What?
56
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,200
Mmm.
57
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:25,500
Barbecue.
58
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,200
Ahh.
59
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,000
Mmm.
60
00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:41,600
Hey, I'm back.
Nice seeing you.
61
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:42,600
Hey!
62
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,600
Oh!
63
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:45,000
Hey, hey, Homer!
64
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,300
Ahmmffluhff... Inside.
65
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,900
Okay. Thanks
for coming.
66
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:49,900
You're it.
67
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:50,900
Electricity.
68
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,600
Nuh-uh!
No electricity.
69
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:53,900
Only
in freeze tag.
70
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,100
Okay. Now you're it!
71
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,300
Hey! No tag-backs!
72
00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:57,600
Yeah, you cheater.
73
00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:58,900
You lie like a fly...
74
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,300
with a booger
in its eye.
75
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,500
The fly was funny.
76
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,700
The booger
was the icing on the cake.
77
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,500
Friends, we love you all...
78
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,900
but I also have
a sinister motive...
79
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,800
for asking you all here...
80
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:12,600
''sinister'' being Latin
for left-handed.
81
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,900
But enough joking.
82
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,400
That was a joke?
83
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:17,100
Friday, I'm saying toodle-loo...
84
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,200
to the pharmaceutical game.
85
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,500
- What's he talking about?
- Leaving?
86
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:22,800
No, I kid you not.
87
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:25,600
Here's the noose I had to wear
for ten years.
88
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,700
What are you going
to do?
89
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,900
Like one out of
every nine Americans...
90
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,100
I'm left-handed,
and let me tell you...
91
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,100
it ain't all
peaches and cream.
92
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,800
Your writing
gets smeared.
93
00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:40,800
Lord help you if you drive
a standard transmission.
94
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:43,900
I'm opening up
a one-stop store for southpaws.
95
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,700
Everything from
left-handed apple peelers...
96
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,400
to left-handed scissors.
97
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,600
Going to call it
''The Leftorium.''
98
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:56,300
So, Homer,
I'm dying to know...
99
00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:58,900
what do you think
ofThe Leftorium?
100
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,400
It sounds like
a pretty dumb idea to me.
101
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,200
I know it's a little risky...
102
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:05,700
and it's going to be
a lot of hard work...
103
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,200
but it's going to be
a lot of fun too.
104
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:10,700
Fun? Where is this store,
Flanders?
105
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,500
The merry old land of Oz?
106
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,500
Oh, no. The Springfield Mall.
107
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,000
Here, you two,
make a wish.
108
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,000
Nah!
109
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,600
- It's fun.
- No, it isn't.
110
00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:21,500
You must have something
you want to wish for.
111
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:24,100
Hmm, let's see...
112
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,000
Nah.
113
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,100
Hmm...
114
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,600
Hey!
115
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:32,300
I've got an ambition
to do some wishin'.
116
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,500
Keep your pants on,
Flanders!
117
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,000
I'm wishing as fast as I can!
118
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,500
Ooh!
119
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:43,100
Heh, heh, heh, heh.
120
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,300
Eh... too far.
121
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:46,300
Hmm...
122
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,300
Okay, ready.
123
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,700
Yes! Oh, yes!
124
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,000
Read it and weep!
125
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:54,100
In your face!
126
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,900
I've got
more chicken bone!
127
00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:57,300
What did you wish for?
128
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,300
No! Don't say.
129
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,300
Otherwise,
it won't come true.
130
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,100
Ooh, that would be a shame.
131
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:07,100
Wouldn't it,
Flanders?
132
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,200
Mmm.
133
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:48,700
# Dum-da-dah... #
134
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,700
D'oh!
135
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,800
Bart...
136
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:58,400
how many hours a day
do you watch TV?
137
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:01,200
Six. Seven if there's
something good on.
138
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:02,300
Don't you think...
139
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,500
you should get
a little fresh air?
140
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,700
Yeah, but what are
you going to do?
141
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:08,800
TV gives so much
and asks so little.
142
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:10,400
It's a boy's
best friend.
143
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,000
That's the problem.
144
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,500
Even as we speak...
145
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,200
millions of children
are staring at the TV...
146
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:19,200
instead of getting
some much-needed exercise.
147
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:20,700
Those children's parents...
148
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,700
should be ashamed
of themselves.
149
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,900
Hello, I am Akira. Huahh!!
150
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,900
That didn't hurt very much...
151
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,700
because I know
the ancient art of karate.
152
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,700
Karate focuses the mind
and gives one self-confidence.
153
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,200
People from all walks of life:
154
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:37,900
- doctors...
-Hi-yaah!!
155
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,500
- homemakers...
- Hu-yaah!!
156
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,100
- landscape architects...
- Huhh-yah!!
157
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,900
- choreographers...
- Haww.
158
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,400
High karate at low, low prices.
159
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,400
I cannot tell a lie.
160
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,400
This is a great deal. Hohh!
161
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:52,500
Hey, Mom, how about...
162
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,000
if I learn karate?
163
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:55,800
Will that make you happy?
164
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,100
That sounds fine.
165
00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,000
See, you knock TV,
and then it helps you out.
166
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:04,200
I think you owe somebody
a little apology.
167
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:13,000
Well, if it isn't The Leftorium.
168
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:15,000
Hey, Flanders,
how's business?
169
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,500
Oh, a little pokey...
170
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,800
but things are going
to pick up.
171
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,600
Oh! I am so sorry.
172
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:23,400
How much do I owe you?
173
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,700
Now that was an accident.
174
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:26,900
Really?
175
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,200
Well, thanks.
176
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,400
Could you validate my parking?
177
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,500
Absitively posolutely.
178
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,900
So, Flanders,
have you sold anything?
179
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:38,700
Not yet, but one
of the mall security guards...
180
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:40,000
took a long look...
181
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,200
at a left-handed
ice cream scoop.
182
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,100
Greetings, I am Akira...
183
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:46,800
your guide on the path
to true karate.
184
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,900
And this is our map,
The Art of War by Sun Tzu.
185
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,600
It will teach us
our most important lesson.
186
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:55,200
We learn karate,
so we need never use it.
187
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:57,800
Um... I already know
how not to hit a guy.
188
00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:00,400
Can we break out
the nunchukus?
189
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,500
Yes, the impetuousness
of youth.
190
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,100
For now, let us read.
191
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,800
When do we break blocks of ice
with our heads?
192
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:10,500
First you must fill your head
with wisdom.
193
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,100
Yo, Sensei, can I go
to the bathroom?
194
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:15,400
You can
if you believe you can.
195
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,200
Pay money to read books.
196
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:18,900
The hell with this.
197
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:23,900
Come on.
198
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,000
Touch of Death! Touch of Death!
199
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,000
Hah, hah, hah!
200
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,300
I'm telling you.
201
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,100
Flanders' store
was dee-serted.
202
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,900
What do you think
of your bestest buddy now?
203
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,900
Dad, do you know
what ''schadenfreude'' is?
204
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,800
No, I do not know
what ''schadenfreude'' is.
205
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,600
Please tell me
because I'm dying to know.
206
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,600
It's German for ''shameful joy--''
207
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,100
taking pleasure
in others' suffering.
208
00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:55,000
I'm just glad to see him
fall flat on his butt.
209
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:57,600
He's usually all happy
and comfortable...
210
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,900
and surrounded by loved ones,
and it makes me feel--
211
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,300
What's the opposite of that
''shameful joy'' thing of yours?
212
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:05,500
Sour grapes.
213
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:06,700
Those Germans have...
214
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,200
a word for everything.
215
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,600
What did you learn
in karate school?
216
00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:13,200
Yeah, this better be worth
my ten bucks.
217
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,600
Uh... I learned
the Touch of Death.
218
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,300
Ooh, the Touch of Death.
219
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,200
Permit me
to demonstrate.
220
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,700
Lisa, shut your eyes.
221
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,300
Soon you will be at peace.
222
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,200
Hey, quit it, Bart. Quit it.
223
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:25,200
Quit it! Quit it!
224
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:26,500
Quit it! Mom!!
225
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,600
Don't use the Touch
of Death on your sister.
226
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:40,300
Uh-oh! Got to get back
to karate class.
227
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:44,300
Missed a spot.
228
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,800
Dopey kid.
229
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:48,400
Coming through.
230
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,900
Step aside, lady.
231
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:50,900
Mmm, baby.
232
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:53,600
How was class?
233
00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:56,000
We learned how to rip
a man's heart out...
234
00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:58,200
and show it to him
before he dies.
235
00:10:58,300 --> 00:10:59,500
That will learn them.
236
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,200
What did you swipe?
237
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:04,800
An ''I Love Lefty'' glass.
238
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:06,600
Left-handed
pinking shears.
239
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,900
Pinking shears?
240
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,700
Let's go to the food court
and steal...
241
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,300
some baked potatoes.
242
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,900
Hey, Flanders,
when are your busy hours?
243
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,900
I expect things
to pick up soon.
244
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,100
I think word of mouth
is starting to spread.
245
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,400
I hear you...
246
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,000
validate parking tickets
without purchase.
247
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,500
Oh, right as rain.
248
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:28,300
Or as we say around here,
''left as rain.''
249
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:29,300
Just stamp it.
250
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,200
Okay.
251
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,500
Hey, Homer, how's
your neighbor's store doing?
252
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:37,900
Lousy.
253
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000
He just sits there all day.
254
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,300
He'd have a great job
if he didn't own the place.
255
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:47,100
Crummy right-handed
corkscrews.
256
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,600
What does he sell?
257
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:51,000
Uh... well, actually, Moe, uh...
258
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,000
I don't know.
259
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,300
Lise, change the channel.
260
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,800
You change it.
261
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,800
Ooowaaah...
262
00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:02,300
Okay, okay.
263
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,100
I grow weary
of this new channel.
264
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,500
Change it back.
265
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,500
But, Bart...
266
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,100
Eeeyaahhh...
267
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,300
Apple... apple... apple...
268
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,400
Come on, candy bar.
269
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:18,100
Hey, you're that first apple
I didn't want.
270
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,400
That sinks it.
271
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:22,300
I'm really going
to let them have it this time.
272
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:31,500
Simpson, put that box
on Mr. Burns' desk.
273
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:32,700
Chop-chop!
274
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:35,800
Oh, look, Smithers.
275
00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:38,300
Another member
of our nuclear family...
276
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,400
with some helpful
suggestions.
277
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,200
And what's your name?
278
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:43,400
Homer Simpson, sir.
279
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:44,900
Simpson, eh?
280
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,800
Mm-hmm. I'm Monty Burns.
281
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,700
''Keep that handsome owner
out of sight.
282
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:54,100
He's distracting
the female employees.''
283
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,600
Smithers?
284
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,400
Got me, sir.
285
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,400
Oh, it's a real one.
286
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:02,600
''No more apples
in the vending machine, please.''
287
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:05,100
Well, that's almost a sentence.
288
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,500
Can I leave?
289
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,200
Of course,
and don't worry.
290
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:11,200
There will be plenty
of apples for you.
291
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:14,400
Nobody will take away
your precious apples.
292
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,300
The note was asking you to--
293
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:20,400
No, tell my secretary I said
you could have a free apple.
294
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:24,200
She'll make everything
all right. I promise.
295
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:27,900
Damned infernal gizmo.
296
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,500
My kingdom for
a left-handed can opener!
297
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,800
Uh, Mr. Burns...
298
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:35,600
Come on, Homer.
Tell him about the store.
299
00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:37,300
I'm dying out here.
300
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,900
Sorry, Flanders.
301
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,600
Huh?
302
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,500
Are you sure...
303
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,100
you're not interested?
304
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,300
$200 is only
the asking price.
305
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,300
Sorry, Ned.
306
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,800
Hey, I'm flexible.
307
00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:52,200
You don't have to pay
all at once.
308
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:55,300
I'll be here all night
if you change your mind.
309
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,300
Hey, Flanders,
is everything okay?
310
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,600
Oh, yeah, sure.
311
00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:01,100
See anything you like?
312
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,300
Oh, it's not good enough
for you...
313
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,300
but it's good enough for me?
314
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,600
I wouldn't be caught dead
buying this... Hello.
315
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,700
Got your eye on
the gas grill, huh?
316
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,300
She's a butane beaut.
317
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,500
I'll give you 20.
318
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:17,900
Homer, I paid $300
for this just last year.
319
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,200
$20. Take it or leave it.
320
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,600
Oh, Homer, be reasonable.
321
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,200
Sorry, no cash for Neddy.
322
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,800
Homer keep all money.
323
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,100
Bye-bye, Neddy.
324
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,400
All right, Homer.
325
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:30,000
$20?
326
00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:31,000
$20.
327
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:31,800
I don't want it.
328
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:32,300
What?!
329
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,600
It was...
330
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:34,800
a passing fancy.
331
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:37,700
Although, if you threw in
a few lawn chairs...
332
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,000
maybe that tool bench,
it might rekindle my interest.
333
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,000
Hey, Bartely-boobely.
334
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,600
Care for a steakarooni?
335
00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:49,200
Sounds scrum-diddley-umptious,
dear old duddely-doodely.
336
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,000
[ Homer]
Duddely-doodely.
337
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,300
This is the Flanders'
living room set.
338
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,900
What did you
pay for this?
339
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,100
Only 7 5 beans.
340
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,700
$7 5?
Ned must be desperate.
341
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,200
I'm sure you did nothing
to discourage this...
342
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:05,400
you scavenger of human misery.
343
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,800
Hey! Keep your hands off
my china hutch.
344
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,600
I'm Chuck Ellis...
345
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:17,100
from the Springfield
Collection Agency...
346
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,000
and I'm here to ask you
why you don't think...
347
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,800
you need to pay your bills?
348
00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:25,300
Oh, I know I need to pay them,
but there's just so many.
349
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,500
Do you feel good owing money?
350
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:30,300
We've been very patient
with you, Mr. Flanders.
351
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:32,100
I know, but-- Wait a minute.
352
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,600
I'm Homer Simpson.
353
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,600
Ned Flanders lives
over there.
354
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:36,600
Oh.
355
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:38,800
Flanders is in debt?
Are you sure?
356
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:41,100
We don't make mistakes.
357
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,500
Damned right-handed ledgers.
358
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,400
I can't write
in these things.
359
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:46,600
There's a store...
360
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:48,100
You're Homer Simpson?
361
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:49,200
See you Thursday.
362
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:50,200
D'oh!
363
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,900
Knock 'em dead, boy.
364
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,900
Kid's going to be
a black belt in no time.
365
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:04,600
Ohhh...
366
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,500
Check out
the saxophone.
367
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:12,500
Pretty boss...
368
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,600
but something's
stuck on it.
369
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:15,600
Hey!
370
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,500
Hey, look at me.
371
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,800
I'm Elvis, man!
372
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:20,700
Give that back!
373
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,100
That to me!
374
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:23,700
If you want it,
take it.
375
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:27,600
Okay. We're sorry.
376
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:31,400
This time, we're really
going to give it to you.
377
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:32,600
Hey, stop that!
378
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,100
Hey, Lise, something wrong?
379
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,600
Not anymore!
380
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,700
You punks are
about to get...
381
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,100
a taste
of your own medicine.
382
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,400
This is my brother,
and he knows karate.
383
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:50,600
Uh-oh.
384
00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:52,900
Oh, we're
real scared.
385
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,100
Please don't
hurt us, Bart.
386
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,400
What are you going to do?
387
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,600
Throw your diapers at us?
388
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,000
Just keep laughing.
389
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,700
It only makes him
madder.
390
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,200
Start them off
with the Touch of Death...
391
00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:07,400
and go from there.
392
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:10,300
I think they've learned
their lesson, Lise.
393
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,900
We want to see
the Touch of Death.
394
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,300
Come on, Karate Kid.
Waste me.
395
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:24,800
It's funny how two wrongs
sometimes make a right.
396
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,000
Homer...
397
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,600
over here.
398
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:37,500
Flanders, I want
to give you your stuff back.
399
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,900
Well, there's no house
to put it in, Homer.
400
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:43,600
Not since that nice fellow
from the bank--
401
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:46,900
who was only doing his job--
came and locked it up.
402
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,400
You're living in your car?
403
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,700
Oh, no. It's just
a camp-out tonight...
404
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:54,000
then off to my sister's
apartment in Capital City.
405
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:56,100
What do you think, kids?
406
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,200
The big city.
407
00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:01,300
Todd, I want to talk
to your Uncle Homer.
408
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,900
You're head of the car
till I get back.
409
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,100
Okay, Dad.
410
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,600
Listen to that singing.
411
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:20,000
Those poor fools.
412
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,400
Homer, I'm ruined.
413
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,000
I know.
414
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,400
At times like these...
415
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:28,500
I used to turn to the Bible
and find solace...
416
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,000
but even the Good Book...
417
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:32,200
can't help me now.
418
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:33,400
Why not?
419
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:36,200
I sold it to you
for seven cents.
420
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:39,700
You know, ever since
that barbecue...
421
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:41,900
nothing's gone right.
422
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,200
It's like there's been...
423
00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:45,500
a curse on me.
424
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,700
It's all my fault.
425
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:49,900
No, it's not.
426
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:50,600
Yes, it is.
427
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,500
You tried to warn me...
428
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,100
about gambling
my family's future...
429
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:56,800
on some pig in a poke.
430
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,100
I didn't listen.
431
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,500
Homer, you were
a true friend.
432
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,000
No, I was a swine.
433
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,100
Listen, Flanders.
434
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,000
Do you still have
that store?
435
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:07,300
For two more days.
436
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,600
Then it becomes
Libertarian Party headquarters.
437
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:12,800
I hope they have better luck.
438
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,000
You open that store tomorrow.
439
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,800
Homer, there's no point.
440
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,900
I said do it!
441
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:23,300
Hello,Jerry? Homer Simpson.
442
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:26,600
Remember last month
when I paid back that loan?
443
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:29,700
Well, now I need you
to do a favor for me.
444
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,400
A left-handed corkscrew?
445
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,700
Oh, baby.
446
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,100
''Kiss me-- I'm left-handed?''
447
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:39,800
That's a classic.
448
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:40,800
Whoa!
449
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:41,900
It's Homer Simpson.
450
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,200
Tell him I went out.
451
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:45,300
He needs you
to help Ned Flanders.
452
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:46,800
Ned is in trouble?!
453
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:50,000
Smithers, I'm licked.
454
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,200
You open this can.
455
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,500
Okay, but you softened
it up for me.
456
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:55,700
Hold it, Smithers.
457
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,000
I'll open the can.
458
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:58,100
But, sir, how?
459
00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,100
To the mall!
460
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,800
I'll explain on the way.
461
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:07,500
Hurry, Neddy, hurry.
462
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,600
Oh, golly, it's a miracle.
463
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,500
Come on, lefties.
464
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:13,900
What did I tell you?
465
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,600
Homer?
466
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:19,000
It's all here,
and it's all backwards.
467
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:20,200
That's right.
468
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,800
The worm has turned, has it not,
my tin-plated friend?
469
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,000
Look at you--
You who were once so proud.
470
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,400
Feel the wrath
of the left hand of Burns.
471
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:40,700
My life today.
472
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,900
Wow! What an icebreaker.
473
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,200
Left-handed ledgers.
474
00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:46,900
Now, I can write
all the way to the edge.
475
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:49,800
Aha! Left-handed nunchukas.
476
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:52,100
Wow!
477
00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:53,900
The boys
at the Diners Club...
478
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000
will think I've
gone quite mad.
479
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,600
Oh, I'll have
that roadster as well.
480
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,000
Yes, sir.
481
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,000
Huzzah for the shopkeep.
482
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:06,000
Huzzah!
483
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:09,700
Homer, affordable tract housing
made us neighbors...
484
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,600
but you made us friends.
485
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:13,200
To Ned Flanders...
486
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,900
the richest left-handed man
in town.
487
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,000
Everybody!
488
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:49,700
- Shh!
32482
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