Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,500
War Of The Simpsons
2
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,500
Mmm!
"Hors doovers."
3
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:29,400
-Homer! You promised.
-That I wouldn't eat? Never. You lie.
4
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,300
Please! We've never thrown a party.
5
00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:35,300
We'll pay back those
who invited us to their homes.
6
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,500
What about that bash
with champagne...
7
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,000
...and musicians and holy men?
8
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,300
-That was our wedding!
-Oh.
9
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,000
It's time for bed.
10
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:49,400
-I want to hear your witty banter.
-You can't have fun in bed.
11
00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:53,600
Oh, son, when you're older,
you'll know better.
12
00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:00,000
Oh, baby.
Mmm! Yeah.
13
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,900
-They're here!
-How do I look?
14
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,900
-Glasses?
-Gag ice cubes?
15
00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:07,900
-Put a record on.
-What are their names?
16
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,700
-Hi.
-Please come in.
17
00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:15,900
You look swell. And the house!
You've done.... Whatever!
18
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:20,600
Anybody mind if I serve as bartender?
I have a Ph.D. in mixology.
19
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,700
College boy.
20
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,000
Care to try my
Flanders planter's punch?
21
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:28,300
Why not? I paid for it.
22
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:34,600
Next time put a little alcohol in it.
23
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:38,200
It has three shots of rum,
a jigger of bourbon...
24
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,900
...and a little
cr�me de cassis for flavor.
25
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:47,500
Well, I do have a warm sense of
well-being, and I'm slurring my words.
26
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:51,000
-Give me another.
-Go easy on the alcohol.
27
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,600
Remember when you threw up
in the laundry hamper?
28
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,500
No.
29
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:06,700
Hi! You're Homer's sister-in-law,
right? I remember you.
30
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:11,000
But I don't remember you
being so beautiful.
31
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,600
A new kind of Mace?
Really painful.
32
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,700
Oh, Dr. Hibbert.
Enjoying the party?
33
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:25,400
Not really. Someone slipped
one of those novelty ice cubes...
34
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,600
...with a fake fly in my drink.
35
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:32,400
-You fell for it!
-Homer...
36
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:36,300
...these ice cubes are made from
highly toxic chemicals.
37
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:39,100
A real fly is more sanitary.
38
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,500
The look on your face.
It's priceless!
39
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,500
-Bart! Come here.
-What?
40
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,200
-You're a little monkey, aren't you?
-Yes, sir.
41
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,300
-Do that cute thing you do.
-What?
42
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,900
-That thing you know how to do.
-What?
43
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,600
Go to bed.
44
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:02,900
Everybody!
45
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:07,700
Look! I'm the funniest guy
in the world!
46
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,200
Oh, Homer! You're the king.
47
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,700
I've been wanting to tell
you off for years...
48
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,000
...but I never had the nerve.
49
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,700
I don't know you. Our wives
are friends. We just met.
50
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,700
You stink!
51
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:40,900
You and your whole lousy
operation stinks. I quit!
52
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:43,500
-Gee, don't quit.
-All right.
53
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,100
Could you...
54
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:49,900
...give me a...
55
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:53,100
-...handful of peanuts, Maude?
-Oh, sure.
56
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,000
Not those peanuts.
57
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:58,600
-The ones at the bottom.
-Oh, okay.
58
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,100
Thanks for inviting me.
I had a great time.
59
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,500
I apologize for my husband.
60
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:13,600
If you want him to live,
roll him onto his stomach.
61
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:16,100
Thanks, I will, Dr. Hibbert.
62
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,000
Remember, I said "if."
63
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,800
I have never been so embarrassed
in my life!
64
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:30,500
Why? What did you do?
65
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:42,900
Marge!
66
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,200
Come here.
67
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:47,200
-Where are we going?
-Shh!
68
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:52,800
I don't want the kids to hear. I
always hated hearing my parents fight.
69
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:57,600
-They're fighting again.
-That music gives me the chills.
70
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,200
Do you remember the way you acted
at the party?
71
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,100
The way I acted?
72
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,800
I must get out of these wet
clothes and into a dry martini.
73
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,300
-Well said.
-Thank you.
74
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,300
-A fly!
-I put it there.
75
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:13,900
-You did?
-I slipped it in.
76
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:16,600
-Pure hilarity!
-Pure Homer!
77
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:19,800
The most whimsical jape
of the season.
78
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:41,600
I like to think that there's
no line you could cross...
79
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,400
...that could make me not love you.
80
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:49,400
But last night, you didn't just cross
that line, you threw up on it.
81
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,500
Can't we just forget it
and go to church?
82
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:56,400
I'm going alone.
You stay here and explain to Bart...
83
00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,500
-...why you scarred him for life.
-No, I didn't! l--
84
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,600
Oh. You mean inside, don't you?
85
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:09,100
You might have noticed Daddy acting
strange and probably don't know why.
86
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:13,900
-You were wasted.
-I didn't know when to say when.
87
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,200
I just hope you didn't lose
respect for me.
88
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:21,900
I have as much respect for you
as I ever did or ever will.
89
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:25,500
Before a preview
of next week's sermon...
90
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:30,500
...I have some announcements to make.
We have some new pamphlets...
91
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,300
...including "Satan's Boners"...
92
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,600
..."Good Grief,
More Satan's Boners, " and...
93
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:39,900
...for teens, "It's Not Cool To
Fry In Hell."
94
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,700
Marge? Marge?
95
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,800
The Lord and I can't compete
with the squeaking...
96
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:52,000
...of Homer's shoes. Why don't we
wait until he sits?
97
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,900
-Sorry.
-Sit down.
98
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:57,800
We will be holding our
third annual marriage retreat...
99
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,100
...at Catfish Lake.
100
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:04,900
Counseling for couples whose
marriages are hanging by a thread...
101
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:08,600
...or those in need of a tune-up.
To participate...
102
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:11,400
...please sign up in the lobby.
103
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,600
Will the Simpsons be attending?
104
00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:19,600
Oh, well. It's very tempting.
A wonderful idea--
105
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:23,600
Marge! What are you doing?
Are you insane?!
106
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:25,800
Give me that pencil!
107
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,800
-We'll be there.
-D'oh!
108
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,000
Marriage encounter,
here I come!
109
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:36,900
-You want to go?
-They're holding it at Catfish Lake.
110
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:41,600
They couldn't call it that
if it didn't have a catfish in it.
111
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:46,200
We're going to give our marriage
a tune-up. No fishing.
112
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,500
That's the babysitter.
I'm Mrs. Simpson.
113
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,800
Simpson? Simpson?
114
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,500
Come back for more, eh?
115
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:08,600
No! What--?
116
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,000
Where are we supposed to get a sitter?
117
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:17,700
If we can't find a babysitter, we
can't go! What a kick in the teeth.
118
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:21,200
Why do you need a sitter?
I'm 10 1/2!
119
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:22,500
Mom! No.
120
00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:25,700
-I'll give you a taste of me hand.
-No!
121
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:28,400
-Grampa?
-Hey! Who? What?
122
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:31,800
-Could you do something?
-I can dress myself.
123
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:35,800
Could you babysit
the kids this weekend?
124
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:39,500
-I wouldn't ask, except I'm desperate.
-Sure.
125
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,600
Last resort. Old Grampa, the feeb.
126
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:47,200
The guy who can't be counted on
for nothing, nohow.
127
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,200
Everyone's against me.
128
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:51,700
I'll do it.
129
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:54,500
Just putting a few things
in the trunk.
130
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,500
If Maggie gets sick,
call here.
131
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,400
If she sticks her finger
in a socket, here.
132
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,500
If she drinks cleanser--
133
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:07,300
-Give me the list! I can read.
-All right. Goodbye.
134
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,000
And behave yourselves.
135
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,000
-Call this number if he falls.
-I heard that!
136
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:17,400
Bye, Dad, Mom!
137
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,400
Grampa, Mom forgot to give you this.
138
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,800
It's a list of the things Lisa
and I can and can't do.
139
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,800
You can smoke cigars?
140
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,600
Mmm, bait!
141
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,200
Better get some gas.
142
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:44,200
Fill her up.
I guess I'll go stretch my legs.
143
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:49,300
-Where to?
-Catfish Lake.
144
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,500
-After General Sherman?
-Who's General Sherman?
145
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:57,800
The biggest catfish around.
Weighs over 500 pounds.
146
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:00,100
-Who says that?
-They do.
147
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,800
Oh.
148
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:06,100
That's the only picture of him.
Can't see what he is.
149
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,500
He's freakishly big, though.
150
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:13,600
Gentlemen, I am going to catch
General Sherman.
151
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,400
Oh, my!
152
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,600
We'll go to the video store,
grab a burger...
153
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,200
...and head for the arcade.
154
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:24,000
Grampa's an old man
who trusts us.
155
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:28,800
-Is it right to take advantage of him?
-In these crazy times...
156
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:33,100
...who knows what's right
or wrong? My gut's telling me:
157
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:34,400
Bleed Gramps dry.
158
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,800
Mr. and Mrs. Simpson.
Welcome.
159
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,700
Hello.
We're glad we could come.
160
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,500
-Hi, Helen.
-Hi.
161
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,500
Homer. Here to give your
marriage a little spit shine?
162
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:48,600
None of your business.
Say, Reverend...
163
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:52,400
-...are we gonna do any fishing?
-Oh, I'm afraid not.
164
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:57,600
A marriage can't be reconciled
in a few hours. It takes a weekend.
165
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:02,200
Bait our hooks with honesty.
That way a happy marriage...
166
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,600
-...won't get away.
-I see.
167
00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:07,100
I also understand bowling.
168
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:12,900
Our best turnout yet. Why doesn't
everyone introduce themselves and...
169
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,500
...tell us why they're here?
John? Gloria?
170
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:20,000
My name's Gloria.
I'm here because Johnny...
171
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:23,800
...hasn't been able to
cut it, manwise, for some time.
172
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:28,500
Not that I'd want his odor of
sour defeat pressed against me.
173
00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:30,900
-That's enough!
-Thank you.
174
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:34,200
Why don't you tell us
about why you're here?
175
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,400
She keeps a filthy house
and talks profanely.
176
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,100
-She's the Queen of the Harpies!
-No, I'm not.
177
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:45,200
-Here's your crown, Your Majesty!
-Get away from me!
178
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:50,800
You've come to the right place.
First, look into each others' eyes.
179
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:56,800
Your eyes! I forgot
how beautiful they are.
180
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,400
-Let's never fight.
-We were fools.
181
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:02,000
-Let's not talk about that.
-Let's not talk at all!
182
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:06,900
Remember my saving your lives
when we pass the collection plate.
183
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,300
All right.
Ned, Maude, what brings you here?
184
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,600
-Well....
-Go on, Neddie.
185
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:16,300
Sometimes Maude underlines
passages in my Bible...
186
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:20,500
-...because she can't find hers.
-Lucky you don't keep guns.
187
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:23,200
-Homer, why are you here?
-Oh....
188
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,600
-Because I looked down her dress.
-No, no.
189
00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:30,700
Marge will tell us all your faults.
Tell us about hers.
190
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:33,900
-She's perfect.
-What are her faults?
191
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,200
-It can be annoying.
-Homer....
192
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:38,800
-You'll get your turn.
-I'm done.
193
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:40,300
Okay. Marge.
194
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:41,700
Well....
195
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,800
It's not that I don't love the guy.
I'm always sticking up for him.
196
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,200
-It's just that he's self-centered.
-Wait!
197
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:51,600
Now, Homer.
198
00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:55,800
He forgets birthdays,
anniversaries, holidays.
199
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,900
He chews with his mouth open,
he gambles.
200
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:02,400
He hangs out at a seedy bar
with lowlifes.
201
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,600
-It's true. It's all true.
-Don't interrupt.
202
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:09,000
He blows his nose on towels
and puts them back.
203
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:11,200
Only a couple of times.
204
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,800
Chocolate,
chocolate brownie fudge.
205
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:17,500
-Chocolate-chocolate chip.
-Check.
206
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:21,700
-Did she really write that list?
-What a question!
207
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,300
-Next?
-Syrup.
208
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:26,900
-Aisle six.
-All right. But put out that cigar.
209
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,700
He drinks out of the carton.
He never changes the baby.
210
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:34,800
When he sleeps he makes
chewing noises.
211
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,400
And when he wakes up
he makes honking noises.
212
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:43,100
Oh, and he scratches himself
with his keys. I guess that's it.
213
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:48,600
Wait. He kicks me in his sleep and
his toenails are long and yellow.
214
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,100
That's all I can think of.
You're all tired.
215
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:56,400
I want to thank you for letting me
get it off my chest.
216
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,500
We missed the luau.
Let's call it a night.
217
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:04,200
But I can't avenge my partner's
death with this peashooter.
218
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,600
That cannon of yours
is against regulations!
219
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:10,900
In this department
we go by the book.
220
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,500
-Bye, book.
-All right!
221
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,400
Kids, it's late.
222
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:20,000
You should go to bed.
We've had a big day.
223
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,600
Wise guy.
Little smart aleck....
224
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,400
I can't kid myself.
I'm having an ethical crisis.
225
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:32,200
Out at 5. Catch Sherman at 5:30.
Clean him at 6.
226
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:37,400
Eat him by 6:30. Back in bed by 7
with no incriminating evidence.
227
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:40,900
-The perfect crime.
-Homer?
228
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:45,500
You're going fishing?
I can't believe your selfishness.
229
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:51,100
You can go fishing anytime.
But we're here to save our marriage.
230
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,700
You're thinking about fishing
while I'm talking.
231
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,100
-Can I be honest?
-Yes.
232
00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,100
You're right, I am!
Help me, Marge.
233
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,900
-What do I do to be a good guy?
-Get back in bed.
234
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,100
All right.
235
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,900
But I can't sleep.
Can I take a walk?
236
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,300
Sure.
237
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,700
Gotta be a good husband.
Gotta be a good husband.
238
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:22,900
Gotta be a good husband. Hey, kid!
You forgot your--
239
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,500
Go ahead, General Sherman!
240
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:35,200
Waste your strength,
you big, ugly catfish.
241
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:39,000
I got a skillet and some butter
with your name on it.
242
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,000
Homer?
243
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,100
-Sugar?
-Ten, please.
244
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:51,900
-Top me off.
-Does your ma let you drink coffee?
245
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,800
For the last time, yes!
246
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,400
Come on, give up!
247
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,900
Big blowout at casa de Simpson.
The only adult is frail.
248
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:06,400
Bart's joint. Two-ish.
Be there or be square.
249
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:10,700
Tell my friends? All right.
But I've got some funky friends.
250
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:15,300
I get out at noon, and I'm
already invited to a party.
251
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,100
Now, this is a trust exercise.
252
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:22,200
You fall backwards and rely
on your spouse to catch you.
253
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:28,300
-Do I have to do this?
-No.
254
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,600
I wouldn't recommend it.
255
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:33,700
As a trained marriage counselor...
256
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,300
...this is the first time I've told
a partner they were right.
257
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,200
It's all his fault.
258
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,600
I'm willing to put that
on a certificate.
259
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:59,200
Okay. You're probably
wondering why I'm still here.
260
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,600
You'll make me
the most famous fisherman ever.
261
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:05,300
Right up there with that...
262
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,400
...the...
263
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,300
...the bald guy in the cable
fishing show.
264
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,800
Holy mackerel!
265
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,200
Good to see you.
What's up?
266
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:23,300
-Any chicks over 8?
-Not yet, but the afternoon is young.
267
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:28,100
-What's wrong?
-It's obvious.
268
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,500
We've set back the children's
rights movement for decades.
269
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,300
You're really great.
270
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:38,000
Hey, you! You!
Shut that door! Put that away!
271
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:40,500
No! Stop! Oh!
272
00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:46,200
-You want me to take off my belt?
-Yeah.
273
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,700
All right, I'll show you.
274
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,000
Doggone it!
275
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,300
I love you!
But I must kill you!
276
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:04,300
Thanks for coming.
Nice tie, Nelson.
277
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,300
It's your dad's.
278
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,500
I tried to be a good babysitter,
but I failed.
279
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,500
I'm a feeb.
280
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:16,200
A useless, old, worn out....
281
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,400
I have this unpleasant
feeling I've never had before.
282
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:26,100
It's remorse, you burlesque
of irrepressible youth.
283
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,500
-How do you make it go away?
-Grab a brush...
284
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:32,900
...and clean faster
than you ever have before.
285
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,800
Hi, honey.
286
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:02,300
-How's the retreat?
-I thought our marriage...
287
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:06,300
...was in trouble.
But never this much trouble.
288
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,400
-How can--?
-You don't know what this means.
289
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:14,100
This fish represents a better life
for us. It makes me a hero.
290
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:17,000
-To who?
-Those weirdos in the store!
291
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:21,900
-This fish shows how selfish you are!
-Then I'll throw it back!
292
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:24,000
-Oh, yeah, sure.
-Watch!
293
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:30,000
Wow! I did it.
294
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,800
I gave up fame and breakfast
for my marriage.
295
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:38,400
I fought it for six hours.
One word and I toss it back.
296
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,900
You're telling me our marriage
is in trouble?
297
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,700
-Come here, baby!
-Oh, Homer.
298
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,900
-We're back!
-How's the marriage?
299
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,200
Same as usual.
Perfectomundo.
300
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:17,000
The house looks wonderful!
What's your secret?
301
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,400
Pretending to cry.
302
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:24,600
That's right! You heard me!
Pretending to cry!
303
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,300
I can turn it on
and off like a faucet.
304
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:31,000
"I'm crying. I'm so sad."
305
00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:35,000
-Way to go, Grampa.
-I'll never trust another old person.
306
00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:38,900
I fooled you!
So long, suckers!
307
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:44,500
Yep, General Sherman. They say he's
500 pounds of bottom-dwelling fury.
308
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:49,300
No one knows how old he is,
but if you ask me, he's 100.
309
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:52,300
-No one's caught him?
-One came close.
310
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,100
His name was Homer.
Seven feet tall.
311
00:21:55,500 --> 00:21:59,600
Arms like tree trunks.
Eyes like steel, cold and hard.
312
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,400
Had a shock of hair, red.
Like the fires of hell.
24498
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof