Original subtitles

You've let me down badly.

You know what you have to do.

You're not serious, boss.

I was planning to kill all of you.

But I'll give you a second chance.

If you show me how sorry you are.

An offering for a job.

You can't do it?

I got it.

I'll do it. I'll do it.

Ah.

Normal, Minnesota.

Normal.

Yakuza boss: Go there and redeem yourself.

♪ Put your hand In the hand of the man ♪

♪ Who stilled the water ♪

♪ Put your hand ♪

announcer on radio: In special news,

Normal is celebrating

152 years since the railway came to town.

Weather advisory remains on a high level

with a winter storm...

...looks like it's going to--

♪ By putting your hand In the hand of the man... ♪

So, how's the motel treating you?

Exactly how you'd expect for 55 bucks a night.

What'd you do dinner?

I got delivery from the Chinese place.

Chang Lu's?

Is there another one?

No. No. Just Chang Lu's.

Have you been to Ernie's place to try his meatloaf?

It's amazing.

Duly noted.

woman on phone: This is Penny.

Sorry I missed you. Please leave a message,

and I'll circle back when I can.

Hey, it's just me,

Ulysses, you know, your husband,

if you don't mind me still calling myself that.

I know we agreed to take some time apart,

that you need space. I... I get it,

but I just thought I'd let you know

I landed another temporary sheriff job

in a little town called Normal, Minnesota.

Like a lot of small towns, it's half abandoned.

The other half is nice, though.

People seem friendly enough.

They built themselves a real nice little setup here,

considering how hard times are

for most folks in the country right now.

I don't know what their secret is,

but I could do with a serving of it.

Anyway, it's just for eight weeks

till they elect the new permanent lawman.

My goal is to leave this town just the way I found it.

What's the deal with that jacket?

It's pretty cool, huh? I got it to match my chopper.

- I didn't know you had one. - Oh, no, I don't, not yet.

I'm just saving up.

Figured I'd start with the jacket.

Well, it's loud.

You mean it's too flashy?

No. I mean it... ...makes noise.

It's literally loud.

And I don't think it's regulation.

- Right. -Sorry.

I'll just...

No, no. Just leave it on. Leave it on.

It's cool. It's very cool.

Whoa. $16.8 million.

Where the hell did this town get that kind of money?

Community really came together on that one.

Yeah, I would say.

Hey, Mayor Kibner!

There he is.

I can't wait for the parade next week.

We all dress up. You're going to love it.

I always wanted to be the parade mascot,

but I never got picked.

I'm not bitter, though.

The guys take their bikes pretty seriously here.

My bike's probably going to be a lot like this one.

Jeez, Randy. I wish my girlfriend was that dirty.

Have you got a girlfriend, Sheriff?

No. I've got a wife. She's had it with me.

Then I'll put an extra sugar in your coffee.

Hey, Tom! How are you?

Hey, Mike. This is America, God damn it.

What's mine is mine, for fuck's sake.

She can't go and talk to me like this.

I'm going to go put a pot on.

I feel like Sisyphus pushing a rock up a God damn hill.

What's the problem?

Tom's being a Goddamn dick.

- That's the fucking problem. - Fuck you, you trumped-up--

Whoa! Just communicate the problem to me.

Depends who the fuck you're meant to be.

Well, if I'm reading this badge correctly,

I'm the sheriff.

Yeah. I sure as shit didn't vote for you.

I understand.

You know Sheriff Gunderson died, right? Last week?

This is Ulysses. He's filling in, yeah?

Yeah. I... I heard something about that.

- Well... - So you're his replacement?

I'm the interim.

It's like a substitute teacher.

For how long?

He's on week one of eight.

Morning, peoples!

Morning, Blaine. Ooh, donuts.

- Hey. Old-fashioned? - Okay. Well, so,

Carl keeps parking his Goddamn--

-Carl's his neighbor. - My neighbor keeps

parking his God damn rig in my driveway.

- It's a tow truck. - I see.

Carl has his own tow trucking company,

- has since high school. - Hey, Mike.

I lived there first. It's my property just as much--

Tom's on a flag lot, so they have to share a driveway.

He's blocking me in! That fucker's taking 70 percent.

Hang on! Hang on!

Look. You want me to drive out there

and sort this out with Carl for you?

Finally. Please.

Okay. Then I best head out there pronto.

Uh, we're good? All righty. Then I'll retire to my boudoir.

Hey.

How's that badge, Sheriff?

Keeping it warm for me?

I'm doing my best.

Election's in six weeks.

Remember to vote for me.

Sure.

Good people, small problems,

and if my instincts tell me something is seriously amiss,

well, then I'll get involved.

But yeah. I kind of stopped trusting my instincts.

It's not that I don't care anymore, Penny.

It's just, life's a lot easier when you care a little less.

Then again, we are who we are.

Nothing to see here.

Oh, there you are. Refill?

What? Oh. Yeah. Sure.

This is a hell of an armory.

Yeah.

Is that C4?

Uh, that-- It is. Yeah.

Why do you have that?

I don't know.

After 9/11, Sheriff Gunderson applied

for every anti-terrorism grant available.

Yeah? How much did he spend on training?

I should probably get back to the phones.

Well, the door was unlocked.

That's kind of a no-no.

Oh. Sorry about that.

Every town has its own little quirks.

You can't change 'em.

Two hundred K, and the instructions

are in Japanese.

The interim job

is not to get in the way of them.

I'm like a midwife with a gun...

...helping 'em transition smoothly.

Oh, damn it. Damn it. Hey!

I like the way you law, man.

♪ I'll trade you my heart For your heart, baby ♪

♪ Give you all My kisses to boot ♪

♪ I'll trade you my heart For your heart baby ♪

♪ Give you all My kisses to boot... ♪

Hey, Sheriff. Welcome to my place.

Oh, you're Ernie?

Yeah, just like my dad and my granddad before me.

Oh, yeah. Tell me. What's the story with the decor?

Well, Granddad started collecting 'em after the war,

and he didn't stop till the day he died.

Any of them loaded?

Wouldn't be much fun if they weren't, would it?

So, what can I get you?

Uh, I heard good things about the meatloaf.

Sure. Coming up.

You got to try the pie before you leave town.

Hmm.

reporter on TV: ...dropping temperatures.

Snow is much more likely,

making this our first big winter storm of the season,

and whoo-whee, does this look like a doozy.

Fucking weather. Fucking Minnesota.

reporter on TV: ...plans to issue a shelter in place

warning around noon tomorrow.

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

Say cheese.

What's going on, Officer?

Uh, I think a moose just stole your paint.

It is going to be a busy day today.

I wanted to get your stamp of approval

on the parade route.

-Okay. - There's an intersection

that I think are just a real hornets' nest,

and of course, first,

we have the celebration of life at the sheriff's.

The... former sheriff's, that is.

But you don't have to worry about saying anything,

because the mayor's going to take care of that,

and there will be food.

It is a potluck, so it should be fun.

All right.

Sally on radio: Anyone available? There's a situation

with Maynard down at the hardware store. Over.

Most of my time is spent on shenanigans,

- low-stakes stuff. - Sally on radio: Report's

two assholes screaming at each other.

I get to say "Nothing to see here"

over and over all day.

All right! Just separate! Separate!

Mike, I need you to escort old Clayton here

from the premises and arrest him!

- For what? - For being a sumbitch!

Sumbitch? More like thrifty.

Amazon's got these damn near 30 percent off!

Okay. To be fair, Maynard that seems...

This is America, damn it.

- The customer is always right. - ...like a fair price.

That's not helping.

Oh, the customer is always right

when he's trying to bankrupt the shop-keep?

No, no. Calm down. Calm down.

Listen, Sheriff. I will be damned

if I'm going to let some old--

Like you need the money! You look like an angry thumb!

Go home and be Amazon's bitch, motherfucker!

Guys.

Guys! Guys!

Maybe we just want to bring the temperature down

a little bit

in front of the temporary guest from out of town.

Am I right?

Maybe we should go for a walk, hey?

- Okay! I'm going! - Huh, Clayton? Okay.

- I'm going! - Let's go.

Clayton, this is America,

which means you can't walk out of a store without paying.

- That's a good point. - It's called shoplifting.

Maynard, you thieving motherfucker!

Enjoy your long walk in the snow, you geriatric tool!

- Sumbitch! - Okay. Come on now.

Asshole!

How often does that happen?

Once, twice a week if I'm lucky,

and it's not like he needs the money.

He just likes pissing up my leg.

Whoa. There's a lot of locks on that cabinet.

What's going on there?

Stump removers.

Uh, what does that mean?

Old-school stump removers.

I still don't know exactly what you're talking about.

Sheriff, come quick!

What? I want to hear your answer.

It's the yarn? What-- What about it?

It's the yarn. I-- I-- Look. Look.

I'm sorry. This is your "Sheriff, come quick"?

I ordered pink, and they gave me mauve.

Uh, not to play devil's advocate,

but that is not pink. That is mauve.

Mauve. That's what I said. What should I do?

Well, I... I'm not going to be able to help you,

because they look exactly the same to me.

I'm sorry. I'm color-blind.

All right. Well, unlike you, Sheriff,

my clientele's a bit more discerning.

They're not color-blind. No offense.

Sally on radio: Mike?

Are you there? Over.

Mike, come on. Pick up. Are you still with the sheriff?

Is that a police scanner you got?

You keeping tabs on me?

Yes, sir, and a CB radio.

-Oh. - I get lonely.

And nosy.

Copy that, Sally. I'm on my way.

Take care.

Call the fire department next time.

- Oh, I... -I'm kidding.

Your buck goes a lot further out here.

That's for sure.

Gunderson had got himself the Big Mac of McMansions.

He must have issued a hell of a lot of parking tickets

to get that.

So, what do you say about a man like Gunderson?

He was a son of a bitch.

But he was our son of a bitch.

-Boss? - He was a great golfer, right?

-Boss. - A medium fisherman and...

Oh. What's up?

You got to get in on this.

This is just like Christmas.

You got Pete's meats,

fortune cookies, all you can eat.

You want me to make you a plate?

Uh, not unless I want to end up like Gunderson.

Oh. That reminds me.

I think you should be wearing this.

But I thought you said you had only one.

I did, but when the visitation was over and done with,

I nicked it off of the corpse

before they closed the casket.

So, you enjoy the power while it lasts.

Dr. Velie: Oh, what a trip that was.

Those Japanese sure love their golf.

So, what'd you pick?

Oh. Uh, Ashford something.

I always tend to lean toward the Irish.

Seven Gs a bottle.

- Dr. Velie. - Ulysses.

Um, you signed, uh,

Sheriff Gunderson's death certificate, right?

Sadly, yes, I did.

What happened there?

Well, a couple Wednesdays ago, around three in the morning,

Deputy Blaine found him out back

in little more than his tighty-whities,

frozen like a chunk of ice chiseled by a chainsaw.

What do you suppose he thought he was doing?

Not my job to go supposing... ...to be sure.

Gunderson liked his fishing.

He had a fishing rod in his one hand

and a auger in the other, so my guess,

man thought he was going ice fishing.

At night, in his underwear?

Well, as you can see, the man was a drinker.

And a son of a bitch,

but then again, he was our son of a bitch, right?

Hey, Doc. Give me a minute.

I'd like to bend his ear, okay?

Now. Yeah. Thank you.

I want to thank you for coming.

Of course.

So, let me get this straight.

Did I hear...

you saw the moose?

I did. I got a picture of it.

God damn!

I am the only one in this town who has never seen

that fucking moose,

and I keep an eye out for it.

You know, in Native American culture,

the moose is a symbol of endurance and survival. Hmm?

- I-- -So,

what do you think of our little town?

- It's, um, charming. - Yeah. You know, I hear

that you are a very laid-back kind of guy,

not a crack-the-whip sort.

Well, I mean, I've been known to--

Did you ever think about settling down?

You could be a real sheriff for more than a few weeks.

You could build a whole new life here in Normal,

because we really celebrate the community.

Around here, it's always one for all.

- That sounds-- - Mayor?

-Yeah? - It's time.

Yeah.

But I want you to think about it.

- I will. -All right.

What do you mean, get out?

Why is that of your--

Fine.

Have you been sleeping in your van?

What? What?

You're a mess.

You're not the sheriff yet, Blaine!

Hey, boss.

I was just, uh, checking on you.

- Uh... you good? - I'm fine.

Well, I just wanted to let you know that they put out

more of those mini eggrolls. They're custom.

And the mayor's just about to tell the story

about the time he went on the cruise with Jane Fonda,

so...

You know who that is in the van?

Sheriff Gunderson's, uh, daughter, I think.

Alex.

♪ Here she comes on Down the street ♪

♪ Ain't she sweet with that Style and that smile ♪

♪ And don't you know... ♪

Hey, lawman. Up for a game?

Uh, my hands are shaky. They only trust me with a gun.

Company, then?

♪ That's my girl ♪

I got to warn you.

I'm not very good.

So, would you say you knew Gunderson well?

Gunderson? Yeah. I knew him pretty well.

It was sad, the way he, uh...

you know.

But he liked to drink. He liked to fish.

So the way I see it, he died doing what he loved best.

You fish?

Uh, when I was a kid, with my dad.

- You? - Me? Fuck no.

Probably the only one in town who don't,

but in the end, death... comes for us all,

don't it, lawman?

I'm not getting a Sheriff out of you, huh?

If you really were, you would, but are you?

You've been listening

to my internal monologue, haven't you?

That's my job.

I'm Moira, the barkeeper here.

Rack 'em up.

Why are you here?

Stop fucking around. Come on.

I'm all ears.

All right.

I used to be a regular sheriff. Nice county

with a couple little towns just like this one.

I married my high school sweetheart.

-Perfect. - It was. I was, uh...

pretty proud of myself.

I walked through life with my head held high.

I knew who I was.

Then this girl, uh...

Her dad, someone I knew,

a, uh, upstanding citizen...

had been, uh...

I didn't believe her.

Short while later, there was an incident at the house.

Gunshots, and I went in.

And she was standing over him.

He was wounded. She had a gun out.

And he was cursing her for what he'd done to her.

And I told her to put the gun down,

and she didn't hesitate.

She shot him right between the eyes,

and then she aimed that gun at me.

And she cursed me for not believing her.

And then we both shot.

Um, I had better aim.

After that...

I got dark inside, and...

I didn't know who I was anymore, and I still don't.

And the wife?

I, uh-- I was hard to be around.

I still call her.

She doesn't answer, but...

I don't mind.

I live in hope one day she will.

automated voice: You have one message.

Hey, Sheriff. It's the mayor.

People are really

liking your light touch.

Have you considered my offer?

Get back to me as soon as you can.

Come on!

I want a stupid bun. God damn it.

I bet I can help you with that!

Oh. Hi, Officer.

- Hey. - I mean Sheriff. I--

- Got stuck. - Yeah. I see.

Yeah.

Which you think will knock it down,

the caramel or the cookie?

Uh, I guess the caramel should do it.

Yeah. That's my guess, too.

- What's your dog's name? - Oh, her name's Olive.

- Nice! - Yeah!

Hey, Olive.

What a good dog.

My name's Ulysses.

I'm Lori.

You know, I wish these things had dog food.

- Yeah. Well, someday. - Yeah.

All right. Well, uh, watch out for the moose.

-Moose? - Yeah. Big.

Be careful. He might try and paint you.

Moose?

Yeah?

Thanks.

Look. I...

I don't know if I should say this.

But our mustaches are so similar.

We're like a couple brothers.

Or at least a couple uncles.

Well, I should probably get back at it, so...

♪ Since you left me, baby ♪

♪ I'm out all night... ♪

How can love go away?

I mean, did I take it for granted?

I guess I did.

I didn't protect that girl,

and I lost you in the bargain.

You said I shut down, Penny. You were right.

Is this what happened to Gunderson?

Did he give up and say, "Fuck it,"

walk into the snow buck naked?

Oh, that's a hell of a way to die.

I'm not doing anything wrong.

You been drinking?

Not when I was driving. I pulled off to start.

Bourbon?

- That's very impressive. - You mind if I join you?

I'd-- Joi...

That's a cool belt.

I'm Alex.

I'm Ulysses.

Can I have the cheap booze?

You're Gunderson's daughter, right?

No.

Oh.

Yeah. Okay. Um, you're... you're Gunderson's kid.

He had lots of pictures of you on the wall in his office.

You got his eyes.

Yeah. Those are old pictures.

He's very proud of me.

Daddy's little girl going military.

Couldn't keep that up.

You were having an argument

with Deputy Blaine outside the house.

What was that about?

The mayor.

Uh, he didn't want me to attend the memorial service,

because he said that I would be too much of a distraction.

- Well, fuck the mayor. - Yeah.

This town used to know right from wrong

before Mayor Kibner got here and...

Tried to make my dad see that,

but he was stuck between me and the town.

And then I made him choose, and...

It killed him.

And I don't know what to do.

Neither do I.

But I got an idea where we could start.

You want to give me that?

Did you catch that?

Yeah. It's my one trick.

How long you been awake?

That's a great question.

I got a place you can crash.

It's a safe place.

It's the safest place in town.

-This? -Yeah.

Hilarious.

Breakfast is included.

Can I get you anything else?

Lock the door.

Sure.

I'll be in my office. Just yell.

I'll either be sleeping or...

drinking.

Goodnight.

♪ Ever since we met... ♪

It's gonna run like clockwork.

Hey.

- You okay? - Yeah.

♪ If you go away ♪

♪ As trouble ought to do ♪

♪ Where will I find Another soul ♪

♪ To tell my trouble to? ♪

♪ Then my bed is made of stone ♪

♪ A star has burned my eye ♪

Good morning, food enthusiasts.

♪ And teach her how to cry ♪

♪ But if you go away ♪

♪ As trouble ought to do ♪

♪ Where will I find Another soul ♪

♪ To tell my trouble to? ♪

Second Street right here,

we cannot block that off

because what if Mr. Neville has some sort of a terrible fall

down here at his house

and then Mrs. Neville gets him into the vehicle--

What? How? No, no. She's a tiny little thing.

- How is she gonna-- -I don't know.

Maybe they have a dolly or a wheelbarrow or something.

Uh, boss, do you wanna describe

standard operating procedure to the civilian for me?

Well, it's an emergency situation?

It's an emergency.

I'm with Sally. Just move the cones.

Have we lost all respect for cones?

The hell is that? Is that a test?

Shit.

Oh, shit. Oh.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

- Right behind you. - Come on!

Okay then.

Everybody, down and stay down!

-Guns, kick 'em to me! -Nobody move!

Come on! Kick 'em to me!

Okay. Shit.

All right, babe! All clear!

-You! -Just stay down.

Fill them! Fill them! Fill them! Fill 'em!

In the bags!

Do what we say and no one gets hurt!

Everything's going to be okay.

Come on! Come on! Come on!

Where... Where is the rest of it? This is it?

Sorry. Nobody uses cash anymore.

Babe, this is, like, two grand.

Fuck.

-That's not enough. -Fuck!

It's not enough! Fuck!

We did all this for two grand?

Take me to the vault.

Really? The vault? Really?

Yeah. Please, Terry, to the vault.

Stay right there. Stay right there. Oh, shit.

Keep your hands where I can goddamn see them!

Hey, nobody move!

Baby, we don't have the fucking time to go into the vault.

- We have to go. - Then we make the time.

Then we make the fucking time.

What's wrong with him?

- Hey. -Oh, my God. Fuck!

- Sir? - man: Help.

-Don't kick him! - Are you okay?

Stop asking questions.

Don't you see he's having a heart attack?

- Help him! Help him! - Shit!

You said no one was going to get hurt.

This is not going like clockwork!

I... I can't open it!

-Push and twist! - I'm pushing!

I'm pushing and I'm twisting! I'm pushing and I'm twisting.

Push and twist! It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Okay. Okay. Here you go. Here you go.

Yeah. Come on. There we go.

Okay. There we go!

Problem solved!

He's still having a heart attack.

He's stopped breathing! He's stopped breathing, babe!

-Help him! Help him! -Okay!

Chest compressions!

It's fine. It's gonna be fine.

Come on. Come on.

Nobody move!

It's gonna be fine.

Come on. Come on.

Shit.

Blaine on radio: Sheriff, when we get to the bank,

you let me and Mike handle things.

Mike on radio: Yeah. You best supervise.

You know, you just hang back--

It's gonna be fine.

Come on.

Keith! Oh, my God!

Baby, I'm so sorry!

- Let me see. Let me see. - You shot me.

It was an accident!

It's just a nick. The stab wound's worse.

- I'm sorry! - You killed the other guys.

Yeah. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

Keep going.

Okay. Right. Come on.

- Excuse me? Miss? - What?

- Do you want me to get that? - What?

The machine will get it.

Come on. Come on.

- No one's answering. - Keep trying!

What's the point? It's all automated now anyway.

What's he doing?

Hey, it's okay, Olive.

Is that a dog?

Mike, cover at the rear.

- Deputy, cover my ass. - Oh, just hang on.

Guys... I'm going in.

The fuck you are.

- Sir. - Look.

Let's just wait for some more backup.

If we don't play this right,

we're going to have a massacre in there.

- You guys okay? -Yeah.

Calm down.

This is messy.

What are we going to do about him?

- Why you asking me? - Calm cleans messy.

I'm going to talk to them.

We got us a situation.

Yeah, I do know what I signed up for,

but jeez, I didn't think I'd actually have to do it.

Hello?

Fuck.

Deputy, what did he say?

You know what he said.

We all agreed to the same damn thing.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Stay cool! I'm coming in!

You okay?

Yeah.

Damn it.

Ah!

Oh, shit. Did you hit his vest?

Fuck.

Hold fire! Hold fire! Hold your fucking fire!

You have someone out there?

Why are they shooting at you?

Ah!

Motherfucker!

Ah!

Did I get him?

- Uh-- - Did I get him?

Yeah. Yeah. No.

Ah! My ear!

Mike, my ear!

Get down!

Fuck!

Get behind me!

Go! Go! Go!

You too! Come on!

Move! Move!

Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

Stop!

I shot Terry.

It's fine, alright? Just... Just help me with my ear.

You think they can put it back on?

- Okay. Oh, that's bad. -I need more snow.

Oh, that's bad. Really bad.

Is this some kind of setup? Are you guys in on this?

No! We're just-- Shooting at us I get.

It's fair. We're robbing the bank.

But you're the sheriff.

Why are they shooting at you?

I'm at a loss.

But you're the sheriff!

I'm the goddamn substitute.

- What, man? - What?

What are you talking about, man?

- Hey! - Okay!

- I'm sorry! - What's going on?

Why didn't you guys just take the till?

When you asked about the vault, they... they...

What about the vault?

Don't make me ask twice.

Holy shit.

Yeah. We weren't after this.

- What is this? - Oh.

Oh, come on.

Hey! Come back here!

Where you going?

Calm the fuck down!

Be cool, man. Just chill. Chill.

We're beyond chill, mother--

Ah!

Oh.

Okay. We gotta put pressure on it.

Ready? One, two, three.

- Oh, yeah. - I know. I'm sorry.

That stings.

Mike, is that you?

I can hear your jacket!

No, boss!

Go around!

Please, get us out of here.

Oh.

- What's happening? -Heck if I know.

It's Lori, right?

Yeah. This is Keith.

That's Ulysses.

Oh, hey. Did you ever get dog food for Olive?

- Yeah, I did. -Good.

What is going on here?

I don't know what the hell this is,

but they shot at me and you didn't,

so the way I see it, this fucked-up little trio of ours,

we're a team. You good with that?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

How you feeling?

Yeah, about as good as I look.

So worse than I thought, then.

I'll buy us some time.

Time for what?

I'm working on that.

See what's inside those crates.

- Why? - Because they look military,

and we look outgunned.

Deputy Blaine? You still with us?

Yeah. Luckily for you, he is.

You managed to shoot his ear off, I'll tell you.

Mayor.

Yeah. Sheriff...

Sheriff?

He hung up on me.

The fucker hung up on me.

No, no, no. Lower your guns.

My bad. My bad. Bars.

All right. Here. I got him. I got him.

You were saying?

Yeah. I was saying

that I asked my deputy to shoot you clean through,

but I guess, like, a small request is too much for him.

What are you, blind?

Sorry. Snow got into my eye,

so I had to close it and... and...

You what?

I've seen what's in the vault.

Who's in on this?

Is it you and Blaine or the whole department?

Son, I have got the whole town at my back.

Let me explain. You're just one cop.

We're Normal, population 1,890.

What's it all about, Mayor?

What's this all about?

You know, main streets like ours...

they are like strewn corpses across America,

holding on by a thread,

hoping they can keep a dialysis center open

or a little thrift shop

or an antique store with no antiques.

They've been plundered by banks and conglomerates.

So when the Yakuza came

and said they want to make a deal--

With the Yakuza?

Trust me.

They're a thing.

They make a lot of money in America.

They can't ship it all home.

So when they asked us to hold

a portion of their illicit US profits--

for a percentage, mind--

I said, "Sure. We'll take it."

And the whole town sold its soul.

Not the whole town.

There was some negative Nancys.

But I took care of them, trust me.

And, uh...

me having seen what I've seen,

I guess there's no way out of this for me alive.

You know, there's a way. You want a deal?

What kind of deal?

You put a bullet in the head of those two assholes

that started this trouble,

the blood on your hands

is insurance enough for me.

What do you say?

All right, now, he hung up on me.

Now, he hung up on me! Guns up!

All right, here we go, here we go.

What'd you find?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

There it is.

It's so beautiful.

There goes the substation at Brandon!

Storm must have knocked the power out.

Oh, darn.

Hello?

Let me out!

I think this is a good omen, right?

- Jesus. - That's not where I was aiming.

Let's go.

I think I can see someone.

Give me that.

- police officer: Holy shit! - Fuck this!

Fuck this town!

-Calm down, Tom. - I am outta here!

- Anyone else? -No, no, no, no.

We're all good, Joe. We're all good.

- Where did they go? - Oh, hey, Mr. Joe.

Where did they go?

They headed down, back towards Main Street.

You touch the base with Oyabun?

Which means?

There's no way to get a hold of him.

For all he knows, his piggy bank was raided.

Oyabun is coming.

No answer.

What the fuck?

Okay, you sons of bitches! We fly tonight!

Go! Go!

Shit. I'm out. Get off the street.

We're sitting ducks out here. Keep moving.

- Hey, freeze! -Oh, shit!

Oh, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm just...

Get inside! Get inside!

-Drop it now! -Don't shoot!

Stand down!

Oh! Okay!

- Oh, God! - Come on, baby.

I thought this was a normal town,

but this is not normal.

Stop shooting!

God damn it!

Are both your wounds okay?

Yeah.

I think I heard something. Hold on. Hold on.

Come on.

Hello?

How is he?

Not good. I think there's someone in here.

Mary Beth: Hello?

-Mary Beth. - Oh, my God. What happened?

Have you got a first-aid kit?

Yeah, in my stock room.

Is that radio working? How is that on?

Uh, battery operated.

You said this is a CB radio, too, right?

Where's the mic on this thing?

Hey, Knitting Needle,

if you see the sheriff, you stop him. He knows.

Shit!

Calm down, Mary Beth!

We don't wanna hurt you!

Mary Beth: Sure, you don't. I wasn't born yesterday!

Mary Beth: Oh, no, my shop! Goddamn tourists.

Ain't got no fucking respect.

Okay.

- Ha! -Hey, Mary Beth!

Let me go, you fucker!

Suck on this!

Oh, God. Sorry, lady.

Let there be light.

You don't understand. Oyabun will have us all killed.

Kenny will help us out. We'll get nice and warm inside.

Come on! Regroup and rearm.

♪ Mm, mm, mm-hmm ♪

Dr. Velie: In here, Deputy Blaine.

-Evening, everybody. -Oh, hey, Kenny.

Kenny, I'm gonna need your medical kit.

On it, Doc.

Kenny, we're gonna need some more ammo.

Help yourself. You know where to find it.

Dr. Velie: Ice for this severed ear, Kenny!

So, what's with all this nighttime commotion?

Uh, you know, a pair of bank robbers,

they decided to team up with the sheriff

after they discovered the Yakuza gold in our vault.

And they blew up the mayor, Kenny.

He's on my face. It was really gross.

Oh, shit.

Oyabun is coming to kill us all.

You have your devil. We have our Akuma.

Both fear Oyabun.

Look, the way I figure it, with the power down,

they can't get the word out.

And with the storm being what it is,

they're stuck here with us.

And you know, better to be the hunter...

than the hunted.

Right?

- Yeah. - Yes.

So, who's up for an affogato?

On the house.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Open that.

Oh, damn. Oh, God. Gimme some tape.

Where's Olive?

She's in the car, sweetheart.

We left the heater on, remember?

So, it's just us three versus this entire whack-ass town?

Well, usually, when you rob a bank,

there are consequences.

Although this, this is a new one.

We just wanted something.

If we get through whatever the fuck this is,

that'll be something.

Okay. What's the plan?

We're gonna go to the police station.

They got a snowplow there. We'll get the fuck out of Dodge.

Okay. I can drive a snowplow.

Then you're the man.

- Let's go. Let's go. -Okay.

Come on, Mr. Plow.

Go! Go!

I'm okay. He hit the vest! Get out of here!

We'll meet at the police station!

Stop!

Lookie what I hooked.

Hello, Sheriff. Eat bar!

You're a slippery little fishy, ain't ya?

God damn it! Stay down!

- What the hell, man? - What is wrong with you people?

We looked you up and we chose you

because of your reputation for not giving a shit.

Why'd you decide to start now?

I'm not myself lately.

God damn.

God...

Heh. Old-fashioned stump removers.

I'm out.

- Huh? - I don't have anymore.

Was that a mailman? What?

You stole a gold brick?

Of course I did.

Physics, bitch.

Is he okay?

Um, no.

Go! Go!

Go!

Hold your fire! Hold your fire!

They murdered James.

They murdered our mailman.

Oh, what fresh hell is this?

Whoa, be careful with that, Father.

It's only a flare.

Hey, there's another one. It's okay.

Clayton!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

- Mike! -I got it, Blaine!

- I got it! I got it. - Mike...

What are you doing, Mike?

God's sakes.

See that, Blaine? I'm a hero.

Mike!

Oh, he's gone.

Yeah, no thank you.

Ten fucking hours...

My ass aches.

I thought you knew how to drive one of these.

Yeah, I do. But, you know, I do.

I... I did.

It's just-- it's just...

Remember when you said you could drive a train?

And that was bullshit, too.

Yeah.

- See? - Yeah.

Yeah.

It's the matter of going forwards, right?

Give me that.

You're spoiling everything.

Oh no.

Help! Sheriff, help!

Hey.

Oh, my bad.

I should have knocked. Can you drive this thing?

Yeah, I think so.

Okay, well, get to a hospital.

- You're not coming with us? - No, I'm sticking around.

I'm tired of running away from every goddamn thing.

And you consider this your second chance.

You take that gold brick, eh?

And go build something good out of it.

Take care of yourselves.

Go.

How do we even sell a gold brick?

Break it in half?

Well, haven't thought that far ahead.

Damn it. Where could they have gone?

It's a small town.

Hey.

That's our plow.

Dr. Velie: That ain't Ulysses. He ain't the running type.

Well, where's he gonna hide?

- Police station. - Let's get him.

- Whoa! Jeez! -Stop! Stop!

There's Olive.

Hey, sweet girl.

Good girl. Come on.

Let's go.

Let's go home.

Yeah, Olive. Fuck this place.

Moira.

Hey, lawman.

You don't--

you don't happen to have a drink on you, do you?

Now, what kind of bartender would I be... if I didn't?

Let's trade.

Uh-uh, fucking slowly.

Well, drink up...

so, we can all clean up this mess you made

before the Yakuza turn up and kill every single one of us.

You, too, huh?

Just doing what I need to to survive.

At what cost?

My soul.

Although, they're cheap nowadays.

Hell, you sold yours, didn't you?

I didn't sell mine.

I lost it.

How did you know?

Bartenders hear a lot of bullshit.

You get really good at sniffing out the lies.

Your story was true right until the end, am I right?

The girl didn't kill her dad.

You did.

I shot him...

right between the eyes for what he'd done.

I figured it was justice.

Now, I don't know.

I've been avoiding making any choices since then,

just watching life from the sidelines.

That's my truth.

Now, you go. What happened to Gunderson?

I already told mine.

Me, fish? Fuck no.

Probably the only one in town who don't.

Gunderson, he had a fishing pole in one hand,

like this one, and an auger in the other.

So, my guess is he thought he was going ice fishing.

Who the fuck goes ice fishing with a fly rod?

No one.

I lied. I killed him.

Because he wanted a bigger cut of the deal?

Because he wanted out of the job, of...

...the town, the arrangement.

Why?

Missed his kid.

This town made him choose.

It's a small town in every way, you know,

- small-minded. - Yeah, I get that.

- And no one gets out. - Not even him.

So, you got him drunk and...

walked him out and...

Watched him freeze to death...

which takes longer than you'd think.

Unless you're wet, which he was, because I poured water on him.

But I learned something about myself that night.

What's that?

That I can do what needs to be done.

- What happened to you? - Nothing I didn't choose.

Like I said, that's a cool belt.

What the fuck, Sheriff?

Tell me about it.

I think he would have wanted you to have this,

especially in light of current events.

Let's go, Deputy.

This shit storm is only gonna get worse.

Whoa!

Hey, Blaine.

Light 'em up!

Bulletproof, motherfuckers.

Whoa!

Hey, Blaine!

- Yeah, Joe? - Damn it.

Did we leave anyone back at the bank?

No, Joe.

And the vault?

Yeah, Joe?

Is it... still open?

Yoo-hoo!

Answer the phone.

My deputy is currently securing the contents of your vault.

Securing?

Bricks of C4 have been planted

in and amongst the Yakuza's physical deposits, as it were.

So, to sum up, if I die, it all goes boom.

And if it goes boom,

well, them being the Yakuza and all,

I don't think it ends real well for you.

If we don't finish this here and now,

the Yakuza will hunt down

and kill each and every one of us,

me included.

But wait, there's more.

I've got a proposal.

We tidy up the bank,

make it look like an accident, like nothing bad happened.

Just another Saturday.

Mm.

Kenny, you say this is Belgian chocolate?

French.

Mm. Same difference, you know.

So, that's your plan?

That's it.

Just make it seem like any other day.

Basically, yeah.

The Yakuza show up, their treasure is untouched.

Nothing more than a car accident that set off the alarm.

Life in Normal is normal, calm.

Calm... cleans messy.

That's right.

Why don't I just kill you right now?

The only thing your boss is gonna give a shit about

is that you messed up.

I say we play the hand that's been dealt to all of us.

You make us look good, we'll make you look good.

And maybe you get to keep the rest

of your goddamn fingers.

I'm sorry that I, uh... killed your mayor.

I know you liked him a lot.

Though, he did seem a bit of an a-hole.

Okay.

What do you say?

Well, it... isn't much of a plan.

Well, I'm not much of a sheriff, but I'm all you've got.

Hey, Alex.

Let's a put on a show.

I'm kind of liking...

Deputy.

Fuck yeah.

Come on, people! This is the new Normal!

It's gotta seem like an accident!

Like there wasn't a massacre here, you know?

Bring it in! Bring it in!

Look for loose limbs!

Watch for blood splotches.

Cover 'em up.

Winter wonderland! Let's go for it, folks.

Make it nice for our guests.

Let's bring it around.

Down there, look for any loose entrails.

Swear to God,

I had no idea about killing Gunderson.

You believed that bullshit

about the fishing rod?

Sorry, I'm not much of a fisherman,

but, yeah, I get your point.

And you tried to shoot me.

Yeah, I did shoot you, but I didn't kill you.

That's the important thing.

We're here together, both of us...

alive.

Do you, uh...

Do you really think this is gonna work?

You a betting man?

To my own detriment, to be sure.

I'd put a Benji on the lay.

Wait a minute. You're-- You're betting against us?

Oof. We're fucked, huh?

Well, best get into character.

You got some explaining to do, don't you?

Yes, I have several explanations.

As you can s-- Can you-- Can you translate?

As you can see, the storm here was something else.

It knocked out phones, internet, cell service, hell,

you name it, it's down.

Howdy, y'all.

Oh, he's the interim, like I told you.

He don't know shit. He's, uh, not too bright.

Deputy Blaine, you know these folks?

You want to explain to them they can't come

tearing through our county in a convoy like this

without getting a greeting from the law?

Well, uh, this is actually Pastor Oyabun, Sheriff.

- Oh, a pastor. - Mm-hmm.

He's got a small parish

just over yonder down near Everton.

What's his denomination?

Protestant. Ain't that right?

I don't know what the hell you guys are talking about!

- Tell him. - He's mad.

We must get going.

What's he upset about?

- Bank! Bank! - I think--

I think that he wants to go to the bank.

Are we going now or what?

He can't go to the bank. We've got the...

- Yeah, yeah, but... - There's people down.

- It's true that... - Hey!

Hey, hey.

- We'll make an exception. - Make an exception.

- We'll give you an escort. -Follow us. Let's go.

Let's go, hurry up.

You start driving.

Okay, Deputy Blaine,

let's take our guests the long way around.

Give them a little more time to fix up the bank.

How can these assholes

get lost on a straight road?

Those aren't the best shoes.

Yes, sir. Right this way.

So, just watch your step. Come on.

This is it?

Well, it doesn't look good,

I know.

My money better be safe.

Careful of the snow.

The driver was killed on impact,

as was the bank manager and security guard.

- Where's Haru? - Killed.

And the vault?

Sheriff, you mind if I show him the vault?

The church has some papers in their safe deposit box.

- Yeah, sure, go ahead. -Good. Yeah, this way.

The building's in fine shape.

Uh, actually, it wasn't a load-bearing wall.

Excuse me. Uh...

As you can see, the vault, it's untouched.

Excuse me. Pristine.

Whoa! The church has done well, huh?

Pretty color, huh?

Now, who's hungry?

♪ There's a small garage On the edge of town ♪

♪ Where the hot rods go When the sun goes down ♪

♪ The place belongs To a Mr. Jones ♪

♪ Who repairs hot rods... ♪

Why did you invite them out for food?

I only know, like, four phrases in Japanese, and...

I guess I panicked.

Is your boss enjoying the meatloaf?

This is divine.

Your English is very good, sir.

I watch a lot of Friends.

Who's in for mimosas?

Should I make a toast?

- Don't. -Uh, excuse me. Um...

I, uh... I'd like to propose a toast.

Um... You know, I'm, uh,

what you might call a "people person."

So, this toast is to friendship. I think it's important

that I take credit for this event.

When I become the next sheriff of Normal,

there will be many more opportunities to come together

and break bread, strengthening our link.

And with Pastor Oyabun and his friendly, friendly,

um, congregation, I think this is a new chapter

for our town and our happy arrangement.

So, I'd like to say thank you for all your help

and to many, many more years

of friendly people helping other friendly people.

Please!

Oh, shit.

♪ Pop, pop, peep-peep-peep ♪

♪ Pop, pop Peep, pop, pop, oh pop ♪

♪ Pop, pop ♪

Asshole!

Hey! Get your hands off!

♪ Everybody wants her Everybody loves her ♪

♪ Everybody wants To take your baby home ♪

♪ When you're in love With a beautiful woman ♪

- ♪ You watch your friends ♪ - ♪ You watch your friends ♪

♪ When you're in love With a beautiful woman ♪

♪ It never ends ♪

♪ It never ends You know it never ends ♪

♪ You know that it's crazy You wanna trust her ♪

♪ Then somebody hangs up When you answer the phone ♪

♪ When you're in love With a beautiful woman ♪

♪ You go it alone ♪

♪ Maybe it's just An ego problem ♪

♪ Problem is I've been Fooled before ♪

♪ By fair-weather friends And faint-hearted lovers ♪

♪ And every time it happens ♪

♪ It just convinces me more ♪

♪ When you're in love With a beautiful woman ♪

♪ You watch her eyes ♪

♪ Watch her eyes Baby, watch her eyes ♪

♪ When you're in love With a beautiful woman ♪

♪ You look for lies ♪

♪ Keep lookin' for lies Baby, look for lies ♪

♪ Everybody tempts her Everybody tells her ♪

♪ She's the most beautiful woman They know ♪

♪ When you're in love With a beautiful woman ♪

♪ You go it alone ♪

God damn it!

♪ When you're in love With a beautiful woman ♪

♪ When you're in love With a beautiful woman ♪

Sheriff?

Sheriff!

All friends now?

Anyone for pie?

Mm.

You want to be sheriff now?

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Thanks for taking care of it for me.

Oh. There's one other thing.

Here's that 100 on the lay. Guess you won.

Can I have that pie back?

♪ The wind is blowing Against my face ♪

♪ Sun's beating down... ♪

This is Penny. I'm sorry I missed you.

Please leave a message,

and I'll circle back when I can. Thanks.

Hey, Penny, it's me.

I'm-- I'm in Texas now.

Yeah, filling in for a sheriff on maternity leave.

I much prefer the weather here. It's warm. Don't miss the cold.

Oh, and I picked up an interim deputy along the way.

People are pretty much the same.

Then, again, not.

All things considered, though...

...I'm in a better place.

As for the town of Normal, well,

I left it as I found it, you could say.

I mean, that's the job, isn't it?

Besides, I'm never looking for trouble.

If it wants you, it'll find you on its own,

and it can be hard to shake once it does.

Well, thanks for listening, Penny. I--

Hi, Ulysses.

Hey, Penny.

♪ A daydream or fantasy ♪

♪ A place that we know ♪

♪ As reality ♪

♪ Where we can go And our troubles be few ♪

♪ Where we can go and think ♪

♪ Think things through ♪

♪ The wind is blowing Against my face ♪

♪ Sun's beating down With its warm rays ♪

♪ A robin's song ♪

♪ Whistling through the trees ♪

♪ The ocean's mist ♪

♪ And the world Of make-believe ♪

♪ The world of make-believe ♪

♪ Of make-believe ♪