All language subtitles for Driving Lessons (2006)

Thank you, Ben.

Tell your mother
she's an angel,
cooking for all us oldies.

When's the driving test?
This afternoon.

You got a girlfriend yet

Oh, no, no.
Not yet, no.

Don't forget.
Hand brake, mirror and turn.

My name is Roger,
and I'm your driving
examiner for today.

I'd like you to approach
the next roundabout
and take the first exit.

No, that was
the first exit, please.
You're still going round.

In a moment,
I'm going to
strike the dashboard.

When I do,
I'd like you to
make an emergency stop.

(THUDDING)

Emergency stop, please.

Stop the car.

Stop!

(CRASHING)

Never mind, darling.

I crashed the car.

Well, you were nervous.

Mum, do you think
I should have some
proper lessons with a teacher?

e.
I've been
driving for 25 years.
You just need more practic

Seat belt, please.

? Oh, come to my heart,
Lord Jesus

? There is room
in my heart for Thee

? Just fill me
with your presence Lord

? I want you to be

? Redeemed ?

MAN: Good!

Bye, Sarah.
Bye, Peter.

Bye. See you next Sunday.
Bye, guys. See you on Sunday.

MAN: See you, Peter.

PETER: I know a lot of
the guys teaching Religious
Education at Coventry.

It's a hell of
a competitive course now,

very new science,
philosophy, culture.
Very rounded, very sexy.

Lovely.

Obviously I can't
take Ben's exams for him,
but I can...

I can
definitely recommend him.

Thank you, Peter.
Isn't that wonderful, Ben?

Thanks.

Ben really knows his Bible.
It's just the academics
he struggles with.

Maths was always my problem.

.
Ben and maths.
Don't even talk about it

Peter was just telling
us about his thoughts
for an International Day,

with all
the different parish faiths
swapping ideas.

I thought it
sounded wonderful.

y
I'm not sure Finchle
y Central's quite read

for Peter's particular bra
of evangelism.

No need to be sarcastic,
Robert.
At least he's trying.

May I offer you some more,
Mr. Finley?

How is your room, Mr. Fincham?
Did you manage any
sleep this afternoon?

LAURA: Ben took his
driving test today.
He did very well.

Just a few
things to iron out.

Of course, now we've got
the summer holidays
ahead of us,

we can spend even
more time in the car.

There you are.

How's my grown-up boy?

Your father and I
have been talking.

Now that Mr. Fincham's
staying with us,

it might be thoughtful
if we all contributed
a little money

.
towards getting
him back on his feet

What do you think?

Who is Mr. Fincham?

Mr. Fincham came to me
asking for shelter.

e.
He'd heard that I
like to help peopl

But how long
is he staying for?

.
Darling,
he ran over his own wife

s.
He must take
as long as he need

I thought if you
got a summer job,

m.
you might put
some of the money
towards helping Mr. Fincha

(ORGAN PLAYING)

(CONGREGATION SINGING)

Ask yourselves this question.

How is a person truly free
until they can think
and act for themselves?

God gave us free will
so that we could
choose his love.

You see, he wanted us
to understand our commitment,
to be grown-up about it.

If you say to me,
"Am I a Christian?"

I say to you,

"If you strive to do good,
then you're a Christian."

.
Hand brake, mirror, turn

If you don't seek to
hurt or betray others,

you're a Christian.

If you're true to
yourself and treat others
as you'd have them treat you,

you're a Christian.

The more a person
parades their Christianity
for the benefit of others,

the less I'm
inclined to trust

the Christianity
they claim to bring.

God tells us

true faith is
the freedom to choose truth.

Now, how you express that,

the way, the manner,
the means at your disposal,

these things are
of no consequence,
be you Christian or atheist,

unless in your heart

you are true.

Hello?

EVIE: (SHOUTING) Sod you
, you little buggers!

Bloody... Bloody hell!

(SCREAMING)
Come on! You utterly
sodding bastards, cut!

u?
How are yo

You're Ben.

Found the house all right?
Marvelous. Shall we stroll?

Now, then,
we talked on the telephone?
Yes.

What did I say?

You said you needed some help
round the house.

Did I mention camping?

No. You said you
might need an escort.

Yeah, well,
I travel occasionally.

Theatrical engagements.

?
I take it you're a Christian

Excuse me?

Well, I make it a policy
always to
advertise in Hello Jesus.

As a single woman,
I'm acutely aware

of the dangers
of sexual assaul
t by younger men,

though, sadly, God is
no longer the insurance policy
he once was.

.
Or am I just old-fashioned?
Now, then, a few house rules

e.
At home, I'm never
Dame Eve, only Evi

g,
Meals are taken
in the kitchen, unless
I happen to be entertainin

in which case I shall ask yo
to serve a few drinks,
some canapes...

.
I pay ��6 an hour,
which is a pound
more than McDonald's

So if that is unsatisfactory
I suggest you go
and work for them,

g
though how you can
consider such a thin

in all good conscience,
I really don't know.

You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

Sorry...
Monday to Friday
, 11:00 to 4:00,

and every alternate weeken
lunch included.

Yes or no?

Um... Yes.

Oh, excellent.

Well, we do seem to be
getting along famously,
don't we, Ben?

Now, I'll show you around.

Hi, Ben.

Hi.

Been swimming?

Um, yeah.

What are you all
dressed up for?

I've got a job.

Doing what?

Looking after
a lady in Hampstead.

(GIGGLING)
Lucky lady.

So where are you
going now, Ben?

I was just walking.

I thought maybe
if you were going,
we could, you know, walk.

Okay.

See you.

You know,
after last Bible class,
Peter walked me home.

.
He says he likes
sharing his thoughts with me

ng
He says there's
an incredible witnessi

going on in
a church in Hackney.

He says he may tak
e a group of us ther
e next Sunday.

Peter's so great.

Yeah.

He said this,
like, black priest

has actually flown
over from America

to save
the Church of Englan
d from itself.

Can you imagine?

e.
That's just so Pet

You've got lovely hair.

What?

Sorry.

I've wrote you a poem.
I've got it here. I could
read it to you, if you like.

It's okay,
you can just give it to me.
I can read it later.

I'd really like
to read it to you.

Really, it's okay.

It's only five lines.

Go on, then. Quickly.

"You are the harvest,
God's water and wheat

"Birds fly for you,
sing for you

"Each wing a beat
of my heart for you

"Felt for you, my clay feet

"I do not sing for you,
do not fly for you

"I'm not water, I'm not wheat

"I would be dove,
I would be hawk

"Your milky breasts,
my strange meat"

What do you think?

I'm sorry,

but you're just too weird.

LAURA: You're walking
through the desert.

t.
It's very, very ho

Walking. Tired.

You're walking and
walking and walking.

And then... Over here.

You see a eucalyptus tree.

(GASPS)

And then

it's Jesus Christ himself,

carrying his
loaves and fishes.

Now, everybody,

quickly,
quickly, sitting in the shade
of the eucalyptus tree.

Sitting in the shade,
sitting in the shade.

LAURA:
I'm so proud of Ben.

Not only has he found a jo
he's found a job
helping a retired actress.

She's not retired.
What's her name again, Ben?

Eve Walton.

She's a dame.

Eve Walton?

Wasn't she with
the RSC years ago?

Played Ophelia.

I've really no idea.

Haven't heard her
name for a while.

That's not
saying much, is it?

r?
When was the last time
you went to the theate

We went to the West En
d last Christmas.

That was panto.

I'm sure Dame Eve's
never done panto.

We must invite her over, Ben.

Perhaps she can help us out
with The Story of
Christ's Miracles.

On second thought, maybe
we should save her
for Peter's International Day.

.
Give the Muslims
something to think about

Excuse me.

ROBERT: Who is it?

Ben.

Come in.

Mum thought you migh
t like some crumble.

e?
What's that on

A skylark.

k?
Skylar

It's found mainly
in the Highlands now,
I think.

Its call is
a sort of chirruping...

(IMITATING A SKYLARK)

It's not to be
confused with the woodlark,
which has a quieter...

(IMITATING A WOODLARK)

Aye.

Oh, you can borrow the book,
if you like.

It's okay.

Well, it's on the shelf.
Anytime.

Thanks.

Thanks for the crumble.

(LAURA AND ROBERT ARGUING)

g.
God, I loathe gardenin

One beastly patch of grass
and my bloody
back's in agony.

And whoever made up all thes
ridiculous Latin
names should be shot.

Floria fluckabundee.

m.
As if anyone
gives a sixpenny suck
what the Romans called the

Stop that bus!

?
Are these
the best available seats

t.
I must say I prefer
to sit nearer the fron

I say, I would prefer
to sit nearer the front.

Since nobody appears
to be moving, I suppose
we shall have to make do.

Goodness me,
somebody forgot to wash.

Oof!

Lovely London.

Sweetie? Christmas in a lick.

No, thanks.

For a boy of 17, you show
a lamentable lack
of curiosity.

No doubt you're suppressed
by your upbringing,

but that's hardly
enough to explain

what frankly amounts
to little short
of social autism.

I shall have to imagine
your curiosity for you.

You're a healthy
17-year-old boy.

You're not, of course,
but you take my point.

You see an attractive woman
living on her own.

You wonder,
"Is she a roaring lesbian?"

Answer, no.

For your information,
I've been married
and divorced three times.

Once to an actor,
once to an English lord,
and once to a Californian.

All work flings.

My mistake.

You, on the other hand,
might well be gay.

I must
introduce you to Dougal,
old agent friend of mine.

Hopelessly queer, of course,
but the old-fashioned type.

Bent gent.

I'm not gay.

I beg your pardon?

I'm not gay.

Not gay, apparently.

Can I help?

I wish to see your equipment.

?
My equipment

Show me
everything you've got.

(YODELING)

Wait. Stop.

Ben.

(STUTTERING) Can you put your
shoulder under my ass?

Always dreamed of camping,
even as a child.

Half in, half out.

Of course, my parent
s would never have
dreamt of it.

The lower middle class
es are the worst snobs.

You sound faintly Cockney.

Are you?

No.

?
No. What are you, really

I don't know.

I mean,
middle class, I suppose.

.
Nothing to be ashamed of

Middle classes are
the engine room
of England.

It's just their
parents I can't stand.

k
"They flee from me
that sometime did me see

"With naked foot
stalking in my chamber

"I have seen them gentle
, tame and meek

"That now are wild,
and do not remember

r
"That sometime
they put themselves in dange

"To take bread at my hand"

Any luck with this one?

Sadly,
your prices are beyond us,

but for your aid and succo
we thank you.

Look, a camping stove.
Come on.

Where on earth have you been?
It's 6:00.

I got held up.

Got held up?

We had a driving
lesson at 4:00.

You should have let me know.

There was
nowhere to call from
. If I had a mobile...

Mobiles give you cancer.

Come on. I'll drive.

? If I am alive
this time next year

Read that.
We'll have a theory lesson.

? Will I have arrived
in time to share

? And mine
is about as good this far

? And I'm still applied
to what you are ?

Ben. Where were you
this evening?

We had a driving lesson.

l?
Is that al

Yes.

p?
Ben, are you aslee

n,
Whatever happens
behind these walls, Be

s.
we're God's ambassador

We show the worl
d a smiling face.

(SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING)

Put it away.

Sorry.

s!
You do not
touch my thing

I was tidying.

You do not touch my things!

Yes.
I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.

.
You tidy around them

.
Evie? I've got your shopping

Evie?

(GRUNTING)

Sink.
Sorry?

Sink.
Sorry, I...

Sink!

You all right?
No.

.
I've got puke in my hair

n.
Sit me dow

Okay?

No.

Sofa.

t.
It's gonna be all righ

Sod off.

Goody bloody two-shoes.

No.

Stay. Please.

Just till I go to sleep.

Thank you.

(CONGREGATION SINGING)

? Give me oil in my lamp
keep me burning

? Give me oil in my lamp
I pray

? Give me oil in my lamp
keep me burning

? Keep me burning
till the break of day

? Sing hosanna, sing hosanna

? Sing hosanna
to the King of kings

? Sing hosanna, sing hosanna

? Sing hosanna to the King ?

Evie.

Quick, quick, come!
You'll never believe
what I've just found.

I've come to
hand in my notice.
Yes, yes, later.

Come. Close your eyes.
I've got
something to show you.

Eyes shut!

Open.

It's a tent.

Not the tent, my books.
My Shakespeares, my Chekhovs.

They were in a crate
in the living room.

You must have moved them
when you were going
through my things.

.
That was
one of the reasons..

But nonsense. I thought
I'd lost them forever.

I won't lie to you, Ben.
Lately, I've found myself
a stranger to the Bard.

I had money problems
. My last husband...

y,
Oh, well, be that as it ma

k,
I was obliged
to take TV wor

a daytime drama series
set amongst wealthy
shipping magnates,

called,
rather unimaginatively,
The Shipping Magnates.

I believe they still
run it somewhere on Sky.

No money in it
for me, naturally.

I auditioned for Nurse Ratched
in One Flew Over
the Cuckoo's Nest.

You're Coriolanus.
I'm your mother.
I disown you.

"This fellow had
a Volscian to his mother,

"his wife is in
Corioli and his child
like him by chance.

"Yet give us our dispatch:

"I am hush'd until
our city be a-fire,

"and then
I'll speak a little."

"My sister, my sister..."

"Oh, my dear orchard,

.
"my sweet and lovely orchard

"My life,

s,
"my youth, my happines

"farewell!

"Farewell!"

"Ill met by moonlight,
proud Titania."

"What, jealous Oberon!

"Fairies, skip hence:
I have forsworn
his bed and company."

"
"Tarry, rash wanto
n: am I not thy lord?

"Then I must be thy lady."

"Kill me to-morrow:
let me live to-night!"

"Nay, if you strive..."

"But half an hour!"

"Being done,
there is no pause."

"But while I say one prayer!"

"'Tis too late."

Born to it.
Absolutely born to it.

BEN: We did Othelloat school.

It wasn't like...
I mean, it wasn't very good.

The thing is, you don't
understand the jealousy bit

until you've actually
strangled someone yourself.

.
Ah, there, you see,
the poetry, the pain

I write poetry.

How intriguing.
May I hear one?

I'm not...
I mean, I don't know
any off by heart.

Another time, perhaps.

.
Now, then, I was thinking
we could go camping tomorrow

Somewhere not too far.
Try out the old tent.

?
Something the matter

How long would we
be away for?

.
Oh, a day.
Two days at the most

Hello, there.

And what brings you here?

Mmm?

Do you think Mum
will let me go camping?

Camping?

Why on earth
would anyone
want to go camping?

To escape?

He can't possibly.

He's got a dress rehearsal
with the Guides next week.

e.
He's a tre

A eucalyptus tree.

Plus, he's got Bible club
and his driving lessons
to think about.

But I thought you
were teaching him.
Precisely.

Well, surely a few days
is hardly gonna
make any difference...

Robert, you're not the one
trying to run the Girl Guides,
organize a play,

keep house
and look after half
the over-70s in Finchley.

Sorry,
but what does any of tha
t have to do with Ben?

I need him here.

Night, Dad.

.
Night-night, Ben

g.
I'm sorry about the campin

.
Sometimes your
mother can be a little..

m.
Good night, Mr. Fincha

Bright and early.
That's the ticket.

I'm afraid I can't
come camping with you.
My mother needs me at home.

I see.

Sorry.

Well, never mind.
We can just take
a little drive instead.

I take it you drive.

r.
I'm still a learne

(EVIE EXCLAIMING)

This is wonderful.

n!
This is simply...
Just look at all that gree

t.
Just look at i

It's all so fucking green!

We should probably think
about turning back soon.

Oh, there's bags of time
. It's not even dark yet.

I really do think
we should turn back.

Stop the car!

Stop! Stop!

m!
Good God above
, I am in Elysiu

Drive in!

I see now why
the working classes
kept camping a secret.

Sky. Air.

)
(CHILDREN CHATTERING

Their little urchins
skedaddling about.

Hello, there.

I'm Evie. I've come camping.

Mum!

There.

Very nice.

If you don't mind,
I really think we should
be getting back now.

My mother was
expecting me at 6:00.

I can't possibly leave
until I've
eaten campfire food.

I really do have to say,
there's no time left.

There's always time.

Right, that's it.
I'm packing up the tent.

I beg your pardon?

I'm taking down the tent.
We're leaving.

Car key, please.

Sorry?

Car key.

Okay.

(BURPS)

Oh, my God.
You've swallowed the key.

.
What a relief. He swears

You've swallowed
the frigging key!

Better and better.

Choke. Bring it back.
You can't do that!
You have to bring it back!

No, I don't.
Yes, you do!

No, I don't.

Shit. There's a spare set.
Where's the spare?

Haven't got one.

How could you do that?

Felt like it.

My mother's gonna kill me.

You don't understand.
She said I wasn't to come.
I asked, and she said no.

You don't say yes
when my mother says no.
You don't do it.

My dear boy,

the key will be back
with us in the morning.

.
I'm regular as clockwork

r,
Look, if it makes
you feel any bette

.
I'll ring your mothe
r and tell her I
went momentarily mad

No! No.

Whatever you do,
do not ring my mother.

As you wish.

I'll have to call home.

Eat first.
A soldier fights
better on a full stomach.

EVIE:
Have a drink.

BEN:
I don't drink.

Go on.
It'll make you
feel better.

.
No, it won't

d.
It was a key.
I swallowed it. Frankl
y, you should be flattere

.
Now, I insist
you have a drink

I'm underage.

Well, how old are you?

Seventeen and a half.

c.
So young,
and so pedanti

One glass. You can
tell God I forced you.

To poetry.

"'Auschwitz,'
screamed my halting mentor.

"'Remember
your godforsaken lust

"'in their tolled,
heaped-up hell.'

"'But, but,' I urged..."

That's me.

Yeah.

"'But, but,' I urged,

"'they have passed us,
passed beyond to
a better place.'

"'Revenge,' he cries,
'is yours,

"'but you are blinded
by your petty sorrow.'

"'Pity me,
pity me,' I yelped.

"'Your service is inclusive
of this testing ground,
your soul.'"

Then you go back
to the narrator.

Mmm-hmm.

"The Church's
palpable texts breathe

"their rich, rich grace
into your heart,

"and they are
precious and beautiful,

"and you must never forsake
the thought of God,

"for God is love."

.
And you wrote this for..

Sarah. She's a friend.
I haven't sent it yet.

She thought my last
poem was a bit weird.

Yes.

Well, don't hurry your heart.

That was always my mistake.

What do your paren
ts make of Sarah?

Or perhaps you haven't
got that far yet.

To be honest,
I'm not really sure
how she feels about me.

Well, you have
the soul of a poet,

u,
and that,
let me tell yo

lasts a great deal
longer than looks.

LAURA: Hello?
Mum?

Ben? Where are you?
I was expecting you at 6:00.

I'm on a campsite.

Evie swallowed the car key,
and now we can't get back
till she poos it out.

Mum? You there?

I'm calling the police
. Where are you?

I don't know.
Don't call the police.
I'm fine, really.

Have you taken a tablet?
Ben, try to think.

Did she give you a tablet?
Something for a headache?

I'm fine. I just can't
come back till morning.

Robert, she's kidnapped him!
He's somewhere on a campsite.
He sounds drugged.

Mum, I'm fine, honestly.

Don't move.
I'm on my way.

Mum, there's
nothing wrong with me!

I'm stuck on a campsite,
and I can't come
back till morning.

Then I'll expect you
whenever you can get back.

Good night, Ben.

Mum?

Mum.

(DIAL TONE DRONING)

? And will I be a part
of what you've made

? And I am throwing

? All my thoughts away

? And I'm destroying

? Every bet I've made ?

All well?

Fine.

Don't feel guilty.

Guilt's a wicked ghost.

(EVIE HUMMING)

(RUSTLING)

I'm just going for a stroll.

I'll be down
the road a little way.

So pack the car up
and come out and meet me.

Car key.

Oh, yeah. Right.

Yeah. There we are.

Right.

Your granny said you'd pay.

You could have told me
you weren't going to pay.

That campsite
manager was a very big man.

If I hadn't had the money...
I'll pay you back.

That's not the point!
Oh, for goodness' sake.

Anyone would think
you'd given blood.

I think it's best
I stop working for you.

Oh, why? So you can take up
being pompous professionally?

You can pay me what you owe me
when we get
back to the house.

I'm not going back.
I have a poetry
recital in Edinburgh.

I'm to take part in
a week of readings
at the Literary Festival.

t.
You never said
anything about tha

Why should I?

Well, I can't
possibly go to Edinburgh.

It's...
It's all the way up there.

Nonsense. It's just
a few miles on the motorway.

.
I can't.
Well, that really
is most inconvenient

I'm sorry, I just can't.

Look, I'll drive
you to the station,
and I'll get the train home.

I don't drive.

Oh, shit.

You have a car
in your garage.

Ex-husband's. The Russian.
Very keen skier.

I'm a learner driver.
I'm strictly
forbidden to drive a car

without a qualified
motorist in the vehicle.

Gosh, you really do
know all the rules,
don't you?

We're breaking the law!

(GASPING)

Evie!

Evie?

You okay?

Do you want some water?
I'll...

You all right now?
What's wrong?

Other than the fact
that I have an untreatable
condition, nothing.

What condition?
What do you care?
You're going home.

Evie, please, tell me.

.
Sparing you the detail
s, my tits have
turned into time bombs

Doctors gave up
treating me last year.

n.
My surgeon says
it's the worst
case he's ever see

How long have you got?
Did they say?

e?
How long is a piece of hop

A month?

Three months?

A week?

A week?

You're shocked.
You're still so young.

g.
To me a week is a year
, every moment a blessin

Well,
I expect you'll be wanting
to get back to your mother.

o?
Oh! Where are we off t

Edinburgh.
You've got
a recital to give.

(ONE DOOR OPENSPLAYING)

? One door opens
another shuts behind

? One sun sets
and another sun she rises

? Love comes to you
in old familiar ways

? Love comes to you
in shadows and disguises

s
? Love may break like
a precious string of pearl

? Treasured moments
they roll away and scatter

? Make believe that there's
ice runs through my veins

? Shrug my shoulders
to say it doesn't matter

? And they say
it was my turn

? They say I had it coming

? They say
that's what you earn

? For living through a lie

? If I could have my way
I'd leave it all tomorrow

? There's sorrow if I stay

? I've other fish to fry ?

Where the hell is Dryden?

Pull over.

Wait here.

Jewelry on a woman my age
is frankly rather vulgar.

Buy yourself a clean shirt.
You're my assistant now.
Drive on.

n?
Miss Walto

I am she.

Hello. Welcome to Edinburgh.
I'm Bryony. I'm helping
on the Literary Festival.

Did you have
a good journey up?

As good as can be expected.
Ben, my assistant, drove me.

I'm afraid we hadn't allow
for an assistant.

No, no.
I'll take care of that.

Okay, follow me.

So if you want to check
yourselves in at the desk,

they should be able
to sort you out
with an extra room.

Anything else you need,
don't hesitate to ask.

Thank you.

.
Emma, the woman that
booked you in, she'll tr
y and pop in and say hello

She's a bit run off
her feet at the moment.

And we'll have a tax
i at 11:00 to take you
to the venue.

I've got to tell you, I'm a
huge fan of your TV show,
The Shipping Magnates.

Yes.

You've seen
'80s Nighton Sky?

No.

.
I never miss it.
I know all your catchphrases

.
"I'm a woman,
Leland, not an oil tanker."
You're huge on the gay scene

Am I?

Sorry.

n?
So we'll see you
tomorrow at 11:00, the

w.
Bye for no

?
You wanted to see me

Yes, come in.

I thought Dougal
would at least have had

.
the decency to
meet us at the hotel

t.
One doesn't ask
much of one's agen

I need some water.

Thank you.

Thank you.

,
When I asked you
to come with me to Edinburgh

on
I may have
given the impressi

.
that such things wer
e a regular occurrence

rt
The truth is,
I haven't given any so

of theatrical performanc
e for many years.

r
I accepted this offe

because I was
flattered to be asked.

.
It now appears
I may have misjudged
the reason for my invitation

What have they
asked you to do?

I'm to read from
an anthology of love poetr
It's being re-published.

Part of a week of readings
entitled "Forgotten Voices."

Sounds very nice.

I don't suppose
you're familiar
with the notion of kitsch.

s.
It's rather popula
r in literary circle

However, what's done is done
We're here now,
and the show must go on.

I'm sure they'd understand
if you didn't wanna go on,

given how
little time you have.

Don't be ridiculous.
Of course I'm going on!

When a woman says
she's not going on,

it doesn't mean
she's not going on!

.
I want to go on.
I'm just nervous, that's all

..
Sorry.
Yes, well.

As long as you're ther
e, I'll be fine.

Of course I'll be there.

It's silly, I know,
but I think

if you weren't there with me
I couldn't go on.

You're my poet.

You understand
the power of words.

Tomorrow, then.

Tomorrow.

11:00?

11:00.

"I'm a woman, Leland
, not an oil tanker."

Hello. Nice shirt.

Have you stopped slaving yet?

Me, too, thank God.
I've just shown
my last novelist to his room.

The bugger actually
tried to chat me up.
Writers are so frigging vain.

You do speak, don't you?

Good.

You fancy a drink?

I should be in bed.

There's a club
I sometimes go to.
It's just round the corner.

Great.

Great.

So shall we go?

Yes.

Hi.

(CELTIC SALSA PLAYING)

This way.

Come with me.

Sorry.

Jim, the usual, please.

Here. Cheers.

What's your old lady
so uptight for?

She's nervous
about tomorrow.

Why? She's only
reading a couple of poems.

They probably
won't even get to her.

Emma's always booking
far too many people.

I think Dame Evie
wouldn't be very happy

if she didn't get
the chance to read.

Dame?
She's not a dame, is she?

Yes.

Let's dance.

.
Oh, I'm okay, thanks

Come on, it'll do you good.

Use your hips!

Use your arms.

Wiggle your arse.

n!
Come o

Come on, watch me.

Hey!

Could you believe how hairy
that guy's back was?

It's only rented.

e
Anyone who can
afford to buy around her

definitely doesn't
work in publishing.

u?
How old are yo

I'm 18 and a half.

y?
Don't mind me asking,
but why are you
working for an old lad

?
Were there no other jobs

She's my grandmother.

Cool. Sorry, I didn't mean
to be rude about it.

It's okay.

e?
Is this your first tim

No.

(EXCLAIMS)
Sorry. I'm sorry.

t.
Come here, you twi

Explain,
please, the meaning of,
"He is not in his room."

Well, his key's at reception
and he's not
answering his phone.

Then kindly unlock the door!

I'm sorry,
I'm afraid I can't do that.

y.
We're not at liberty to
unlock a client's door
unless there's an emergenc

And you don't call
this an emergency?

With the greatest of respect
madam, no.

(ALARM BLARING)

You were saying?

?
What's happening

My assistant
is missing in action.

When you find him, I'll be
downstairs at La Brasserie
Ecosse. Thank you.

e?
Can I get you anything els

Another.

Hello.

I made you some te
a. Do you take sugar?

No.

It's okay,
I'm not gonna eat you.

I don't have to be
anywhere till after lunch.

How about you?
Do you fancy
staying in for a bit?

n.
I take it that's a no, the

It's 11:30!
So?

I promised Evie I'd
be there by 11:00.

She can go on
her own, can't she?
She won't go on without me.

You're kidding, right?
She means it.

I have to be there
before she goes on, or
she can't remember her lines.

Ben,
she's reading from a book.

It makes no difference.
She's completely hopeless
unless I'm in the same room.

Isn't that a bit weird?

She's not weird.
She's just nervous.

Relax. She's having you on.

e.
No, she isn't.
I promised her I'd be ther

Once you've made a promise,
you should keep it.

I'm sorry.

Ben.

Yes?

You're a lovely guy.

Thank you.
And thank you for having me.

Stop at an offy.
I need a drink.

Miss Walton?
Emma Pagent, Vintage Press.

For a moment there,
I thought we'd
lost you to the Scots.

,
Ladies and gentlemen

g,
Vintage Press,
in conjunction
with Eternal Sprin

,
the exfoliating crea
m that gently
peels away the years

n.
are delighted to
welcome Miss Eve Walto

l
I thought I'd
begin today's recita

by reading
William Shakespeare'
s sonnet number 29,

"When in
Disgrace with Fortune."

Sorry. Excuse me.

Sorry.

The Presbyterian
Hall off Market Street?

Straight on,
second on the right.

..
I'm sorry. I seem to have.

It's all right.
I know it off by heart.

"When in
disgrace with fortun
e and men's eyes

"I all alone
beweep my outcast state

"And trouble deaf heav
en with my bootless cries

f
"And look upon mysel

"And..."

(PEOPLE MURMURING)

(STUTTERING)
I'm sorry, very sorry.
I know another one.

"Flo, Flo

"I love you so

"I love you in your nightie

"When the moonlight
flits across your tits

(CROWD LAUGHING)

"Oh, Jesus Christ Almighty"

I'm sorry. I don't
know what's the matter.

u?
Ben? Ben, where are yo

Where are you, Ben?

It's okay, I'm here.

Where were you?

I got held up.

You promised me.

I'm sorry.

Get me out of here
.
Okay.

?
Where are we

On the way to Cheltenham.

Cheltenham?

There's another
festival there.

But I don't want to
go to another festival.

It's all sorted.
I spoke to the lady,
Emma What's-it,

and explained to her
you only had a week to live.

She was really nice about it.
She booked you a slot

at the Cheltenham
Literary Festival
with Martin Amis.

What are you talking about?

I told her. You're not just
some cheap soap
star from the '80s.

You deserve a better end.

The Cheltenham
Literary Festival
with Martin Amis?

Jesus Christ!
Turn the car round at once
and take me home.

No.

What did you say?

When a woman says
she doesn't wanna go on,

that doesn't mean she
doesn't wanna go on.

r.
Young man, let me
make myself quite clea

l.
Under no circumstances
am I giving another recita

I have humiliated myse
lf quite enough already.

.
Now all I want to do
is go home and shut the door

You have to climb
back on the horse.

What? Climb back on the what?

God wants you to d
o one more performan
ce before you die.

Stop the car.

You were upset.
You lost your nerve.

Next time,
I'll go through the pieces
with you...

Stop the bloody car!

.
I will not be bullied,
even by an emotional cripple

I'm not going back.
Then I'll walk.

You can't. You're dying.

I am not dying.

You mustn't be
afraid of death.

I am not dying!

,
God embraces all
who believe in him

for they shall
have everlasting life.

I am not dying! I made it up!

I forgive you.

Oh, don't be
so bloody pompous.

.
I made a tit of myself.
I'm going home. End of story

Evie.

Evie, where do you
think you're going?

Evie, stop. You're in
the middle of nowhere.

Then I will cling to
the edge of somewhere.

Evie, please.
You're worth too
much to let yourself go.

Bugger off.

You know I'm right.
You can't deny it.

n.
God gave you your
talent for a reaso

There is no God,
you hopeless little cretin.

God forgives
you for that, too.

.
Let's get one
thing clear, sonny boy

I do the forgiving, not God.

That's
a terrible thing to say.

Oh, don't get biblical on me,
you pompous fart.

You never read
the bloody thing anyway.

I read my Bible every night!
Liar!

Liar?
You're telling me I'm a liar?

I've never met
anyone who lied so much
in all my life.

You make up whole
people out of thin air.

You said you'd
be there at 11:0
0 and you weren't!

You make up conversations.
You make up money.

n!
The one time
I really needed yo
u and you let me dow

!
The one time

nt
Who were you with
that was so bloody importa

?
you couldn't even
be bothered to show up

Who was it?

Bryony.

Take me home.

We can look for
a campsite on the way.

I'm sorry.

Come and look.

Evie?

Mmm?

Do you know that picture
I found on your desk?

Was that your baby?

What happened?

He died of meningitis
when he was two.

What was his name?

Thomas Oliver Walton. Tom.

He had
a particular way of speaking.

When he was
proud of something,
he used to miss words out.

Like once when we were
trying to catch a bus.

He was holding my hand,
shouting, "I running."

Life is confusing.

Just when we think
it's all over, it throws
a view like this at us

and we don't
know where we are.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Shall I bring in the things?

Tomorrow.
I'm going to rest now.

I tricked you into
going all that way,
and you didn't want to go.

I'm sorry.

I had
a brilliant time, really.

.
Tomorrow, then

You don't have to
tell me what happened.
I know already.

Some people are wicked,
and that's all there is to it.

She isn't wicked.

She's an actress!

.
I think that says enough

f
Of course, I blame mysel

for suggesting we tr
y and do something kin
d for Mr. Fincham.

.
This is the thanks I get

My child on drugs,
probably abused.

I wasn't abused.
I had a really good time.

When you went
with that actress,

.
you left God's house

n.
While there is
breath in my body,
you will not leave it agai

!
Look at me when
I'm talking to you

She needs me.
She's my friend.

I could never
betray you, Ben.

r.
Don't betray me.
Don't be a betraye

You may have noticed
that Mr. Fincham has started
dressing in my clothes.

We must assume that
this is part of his recovery.

Evie, it's me, Ben.
I can't make it today.

My mum...
Anyway, I'll try
and get there tomorrow.

LAURA: Ben.
I have to go now.

Sway.

? Town to town

? Broadcast to each house,
they drop your name

Sway.

? But no one knows your face

? Billboards quoting things
you'd never say

? You hang your head and pray

? For Jesusland

? Jesusland ?

Down.

And one, two, three, up.

Hello. May I help you?

n.
How do you do?
I'm Dame Eve Walto

I was wondering
if Ben was in,
by any chance.

I'm afraid he's out.

Oh, I'm sorry.

?
Would you mind
telling him I called

.
Only he left a message,
but I haven't heard from him

I'm so sorry.

He has no wish
to work for you anymore.

I see. Did he say why?

He's found
something more appropriate.

More appropriate?

Is that all?

s.
Yes. I'm sorry. Ye

s.
Please give him
my very best wishe

Thank you so much for calling.
Goodbye.

Ben,
what would I do without you?

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

First positions, please.
Quick as you can.
Quick as you can.

r.
Look at them.
I'd like to see
Dame Evie do bette

The way she looks,
I'd say she was luck
y to get a soap opera.

What do you mean?
You've never met her.

Mum,
did she come looking for me?

On a hot afternoon in
the hills of Galilee,

a hungry crowd is gathering
in the shade of
a eucalyptus tree,

when all of a sudden,

Jesus Christ, the son of God,
comes strolling towards them.

CHILDREN: We're hungry.
...they cry.

Where can we get food?

Showing them his
loaves and fishes,

Jesus smiles and says...

Come unto me,
all ye that are heavy lade
and I will refresh you.

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

Ben?

? Well, Jesus was a man
who traveled through the land

? A hard working man and brave

? Well, he said to the rich

? Now
give your money to the poor

? So they lay
Jesus Christ in his grave

? Hah-le, hallelujah

? Hah-le, hallelujah

? Hah-le, hallelujah

? They lay
Jesus Christ is his grave

? Hah-le, hallelujah

?
? They lay
Jesus Christ in his grave

Evie? It's me, Ben.

I've only got a few minutes.
I'm in that play
at the church hall.

I just want you to know,
Mum never told me you called.

Evie, I know you're in there.
Please answer the door.

Evie, I need to talk to you.

I only stayed away
'cause I was scared
what my mum would do.

Evie! I need you!
You're my best friend.

Don't make me go back there,
not like this.

Evie?

You silly cow.

Hold on, dear. Bloody hell.

I'm coming! Hang on.

Don't give up! I'm on my way!

!
Taxi

Saint Luke's
Church Hall, Finchley.

And now,
as the final chapter
of our story unfolds,

we watch God's angels

surrounding the stone
that lies across
the mouth of the cave

in preparation for
the greatest miracle of all,

Christ's resurrection.

How much is that, dear?

...rolling,
rolling, rolling.

Then, as the heavy boulder
slips to one side,

Christ steps into the light
and God the Father cries...

I've come for my boy!

Shit.

God as a woman.
That's so beautiful.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Oh, thank you.

You are too kind.

Start the finale!
The finale! Go!

My friends, my friends!

The time has come
for God's son
to say farewell.

Summer's lease has
all too short a date

and the leaves on the trees,
they are a-stirring.

Yes, Lord!

Yes, Lord!

Yes, Lord!

When in disgrace with fortun
and men's eyes,

lift yourself up
and shout to the skies,

e!
"No, no, I don't
wanna be a tree no mor

"No..."

No!

"...I'm gonna be a man."

Good news, Lord!

?
Yes, sister.
Ain't it good news

Oh, Lord, good news!

Yes, yes, yes.

No roots to dig
me in the ground!

No branches
to catch my crown!

I am the son of man,

!
ain't nobody holding me down

Thanks for coming.

You stuck by me,
I'll stick by you.

Thank you, thank you.
Hallelujah!
Don't touch my clothes.

Stop her.
What do you want me to do?

For Christ's sake!

Thank you, thank you.
No, no autographs. Thank you.

Ben Marshall,
come back here at once!

Time to go home.

Ben-Ben?

I'm not your Ben-Ben.

Don't be silly
, my love.

And I'm not your love.

Ben, stop now, please.

No, I won't stop.

I'm gonna go on and on
until everybody knows

just what it's like
to live in your life.

Ben.
"Be good, be nice."

And all the bloody time,
you're driving round
in Dad's car having sex...

Ben!

Mr. Fincham?

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Laura, darling!

(CRASHING)

EVIE: Dear Ben,
I do hope when you
read this letter,

your mother finds herself
on the road to recovery.

In the circumstances,

I quite understand that
you will feel it inappropriate
to work for me anymore.

Besides,
you are your own man now.

Do remember,
however odd it all gets,
this is only the denouement.

The end is up to you.

To wit,
I leave you with this quote,

penned by my dear friend
William Shakespeare:

"When the shit hits the fan,
get a tent."

Ben. Come, talk to me.

How are you?

The doctor said
the only reason I survived

is because
I drive an economy car.

God truly is
a friend to the thrifty.

Mum, please.

u.
There's something
else I need to tell yo

Your father and I
have been talking.

I've prayed to God,
and I hear him.

He's telling me
to get a divorce.

Ben?

Hiya.

Hi.

I'm next in the prayer chain.

Are you all right, Ben?

Fine.

We all know
about your mum and Peter.

If it's God's will...

You're very angry,
aren't you?

Don't be.
You're still God's gift.

Every day God
gives us is a gift.

That's why we
call it the present.

Fuck off, Sarah.

Ben?

What are you doing?

r?
You saw your mothe

Peter's taking her to
Cornwall to convalesce.

She said I should
visit them sometime.

.
I think it's better this way

How can you say that?

After all the shit
she put you through,
how can you say that to me?

You're my dad. You're meant
to stand up for yourself.
You should've divorced her!

You should've told her
to bloody well piss off.

I did.

It was me who
asked for the divorce.

Ben, I know this is ha
rd for you to understand,

d,
but when I made my
vows to your mothe
r, I meant what I sai

and though it may seem like
very little, I have tried
to be true to my word.

You should've talked to me.
I'd have understood.

I'm a poet. I understand
the power of words.

Yes.

I think I may move
out here for a while.

Good idea.
Get a bit of space.

You know, it's a while
since I've been camping.

Dad?
Hmm?

d.
I saw a skylark in Scotlan

Really? Do you know,
I've never seen one.
Did it sing?

.
Just like you said

Wonderful.

It was.

I do love you, Ben.
Very much.

I love you, too, Dad.

Yes. Good. Yeah, that's good.

EVIE: (SHOUTING) Blast you
Oh, for goodness' sake...

Come on!

You blunt
little bastards, cut!

Ben!

I wasn't sure I was
going to see you again.

.
I've been a bit busy

Good.

.
I can't stay.
I'm on my lunch break.
I've got a job in a bookshop

Books. Very apropos.

I'm living on my own now
, in the garden.

Excellent. And your parents?

They're my parents.

Yes.

So, any plans?

.
I'm thinking of
going to college

Where?
Edinburgh.

To study...

English.

English! Good choice.

I wrote you something.

I'm still experimenting
with free verse.

Free verse.

Ah.

"Some mysteries
I will never understand

"The way the Earth
rotates around the sun

"three minutes
short of every day

e
"Or the way the dead are gon

"Like putting down the pho
or turning a corner

"The future

"That's another whopper

"We can never know
what we can never know

"Except that whoever you a
and whoever I am

"You made it
all right to be me"

.
It's not Shakespeare

No, dear, but it's lovely,
and it's you.

Bye, then.

Goodbye, Ben.