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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,720 (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:05,560 (SEAGULLS SQUAWKING) 3 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,560 ROISIN: So, you've been kayaking before? 4 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:10,680 SARA: Only once on a school trip and I nearly died. What? 5 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,640 They made us all capsize, and I couldn't get back up, I stayed upside down. 6 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,840 Yeah, it was very traumatic. 7 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:22,280 Every time I righted myself to gasp for air I could see everyone in my class laughing. 8 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:25,600 Why didn't you tell me that before I got in the kayak? (LAUGHS) 9 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:30,480 It made me feel like she has a lot of confidence for someone who's already toppled a kayak and also... 10 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,880 ...I think we should turn around now. 11 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:34,800 Woo-hoo! 12 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,080 (SCREAMING) 13 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:39,120 We're here, baby. Most travellers avoid bad reviews. 14 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,320 One star. One star. 15 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,360 One star. Never seen 16 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:47,320 If I could give it zero stars, I would. But not us. 17 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,840 I'm a woman in a man's world, I make up my own mind. 18 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:51,640 I'm Sara Pascoe. 19 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,240 I'm brilliant at this! 20 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,520 I'm Roisin Conaty. 21 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,480 Come on, fishy fishy! Ooh! 22 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,920 We're comedians! But more importantly, best friends. 23 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,280 As someone who's received bad reviews I will try to look to the good. 24 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,720 We're turning the tables on the review sites. 25 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:09,200 They were so busy typing in their phone moaning, they forgot to look out. 26 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,280 And visiting places based on the worst reviews. 27 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,840 Come closer. It's nothing to be afraid of. 28 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,040 My review is 100 stars. 29 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,800 But will this journey of salvation be a five-star fun fest? 30 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,280 I'm an absolute killer! Yes! 31 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,280 Or are we in for a holiday from hell? 32 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:28,960 (ALL SCREAMING) 33 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,800 (LAUGHS) 34 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,280 (UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) 35 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:47,960 Ooh, smell that air. 36 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,200 Lovely air. 37 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,200 "Bergen?" 38 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,400 That question mark does make me doubt myself. 39 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,440 Is it? Bergen? It must be. 40 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,200 They wouldn't let us off the plane. 41 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,720 Making me feel like, you sure you wanna get off here? 42 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,880 Yeah. 43 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,480 You could go somewhere warmer. 44 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,440 Do you know Norway well? 45 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,000 Yeah? I ate reindeer! 46 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,400 Oh, right, okay. 47 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,440 Oh, no. Yeah, so. Don't be ordering 48 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,120 I won't, that'd ruin Christmas. That's awful. (LAUGHS) 49 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,200 Three times. 50 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:21,760 It's so expensive here. 51 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,680 I phoned my bank when I got back cos I was drunk and I'd gone 52 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,000 and got snacks. They were like, your money's gone. 53 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,400 I didn't spend £100. They went, you did, on 7-Eleven. 54 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,560 Ten years of telly down the drain. Come on, let's go and have a nice expensive holiday. 55 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,080 (MUSIC PLAYING) 56 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,080 Norway. One reviewer said... 57 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,320 (READING) 58 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,120 Talk about the magic of the fjords. 59 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,320 (MUSIC PLAYING) 60 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,920 Norway is small but exports a lot of gas for its size. 61 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:52,000 Hashtag relatable. This means high prices and high living standards. 62 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:57,320 So, cities like Bergen are full of swanky, fancy places to enjoy 63 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,480 and we... won't be going to any of them. 64 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,200 Really is in the middle of nowhere. 65 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,080 Now I know why they're like "Bergen?" (LAUGHS) 66 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,000 Are we still in Bergen? 67 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:12,360 Idyllically located miles from anywhere. Podtown. 68 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,040 This isn't it though. 69 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,480 It says "Podtown. Your private space in a lively place". 70 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:21,960 Lively is pushing it. 71 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,520 This can't be it. This is all rusty. 72 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,720 It's definitely it. 73 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,080 The pictures make it look much more glamorous, much more like Japan. 74 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,520 Sort of like pod-living. 75 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,480 Okay, I've got a check-in instructions. Okay. 76 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,800 It's self-cleaning. Self-cleaning? Fine. We've to clean it ourselves. 77 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,680 There's no private toilet in the unit at the moment. 78 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:46,160 However, a 24-hour gas station with restroom facilities is just a seven-minute walk away. 79 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,000 I get up at least once for a wee in the night. Reviews? 80 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,040 I mean, let's see what these people say. 81 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,400 Three stars. Three stars? 82 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,800 This is a decent place to stay in relation to the price. 83 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,000 It's cheap. 84 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,520 Yeah, I mean this costs the same as a sandwich here. 85 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,320 (READING) 86 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,000 What? A little impractical. That's illegal. 87 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,360 You can't hire out hotel - 88 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,600 Surely, worldwide. The UN has got to be on this, aren't they? 89 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,480 The important business... 90 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,680 You wanna see it? Let's go in. 91 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,840 One reviewer said... 92 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,320 (SARA READING) 93 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:34,640 Well, at least it's a bargain. We've paid just £90 a night. Oh, Norway. 94 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,560 Oh. Okay. So, it is... 95 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:43,280 Oh. It is very...(GASPS) sort of, er... 96 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:48,240 ...sci-fi inside. Look at these lovely chairs. It's a bit of... 97 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,600 ...er, fucking mess. (LAUGHS) 98 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,360 I'm sort of stunned. 99 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,880 Where's the mattresses? And what's this bag of crap? 100 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,080 There's a coke thing. Oh, God, this is someone else's mess. Is it? 101 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,840 They're meant to have cleaned it! 102 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,240 There brown stuff on that towels and that coke 103 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,840 has got lumps of something in it. 104 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,480 That might be my fear. 105 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,920 Oh, my God. Is it moving? Ugh, God! 106 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,160 How can this be allowed? 107 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,960 What you mean? They said you've to go to the petrol station. 108 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,840 What do you mean? 109 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,840 It's horrible. It's horrible. 110 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,120 How does someone give it a 3-star review? 111 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:36,280 Does this work? The door. If this door button works. Hello? 112 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,160 Come on. Careful, don't 113 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,960 Just trying to see if the button... 114 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,960 There you go. Privacy for the lady. Now I can have a wee. 115 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:46,400 I was just trying to see if this button works, but it doesn't. 116 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,040 (CHUCKLES) Can you not open it? 117 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,040 No, I've locked myself in. Have I? 118 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,520 Oh! No! Help! 119 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,200 Help! The murderer! 120 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,120 Don't be so ridiculous. 121 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,920 (BOTH LAUGHING) 122 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,080 I thought we've got to get some joy out of this absolute shit-pit. 123 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,880 Something felt off about Podtown. 124 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,400 And it wasn't just the portable toilet full of piss. 125 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:16,680 I'm just gonna check. Oh, no, no, no. We're not in the right one. 126 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,080 This is, this is our bathroom. 127 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,920 What? This is our toilet. 128 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,320 Oh, my God. 129 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,760 Thank God for that. 130 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,280 Oh, fingers crossed. 131 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,280 Come on. Come on. Come on. 132 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,240 Oh, Sara. It's a win. 133 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,240 It's clean. There's mattresses. 134 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,960 Oh. Nice. Oh. It's really nice. 135 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,760 Luxury is not a pleasure, but pleasure is a luxury. 136 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:44,880 It's lovely. 137 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:48,040 Now, we know we've got a private bathroom around the corner. 138 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,800 There's an air outlet and a sleep mode. 139 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,000 Light. Ooh! 140 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,840 (FANFARE VOCALISATION) 141 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,360 This is lovely. This is what I was envisioning and I like it very much. 142 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,960 It's like when you've got an all right boyfriend after a really bad man. 143 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,640 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 144 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:08,320 We head into town for some food with a skip in our step. 145 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,080 Oh. 146 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,920 Ladies first. Thank you. 147 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:17,280 Taste of Norway describes itself as an adventurous experience. 148 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,000 So far, so concerning. 149 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,440 Let me read a review to you. Two stars. 150 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,560 "The buffet was unexceptional, and the decor frightful. By the way 151 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:31,240 "the toilet offered the exotic view of a couple of pair of socks hung up to dry". 152 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,480 That is very strange. I need to see these socks. 153 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,040 Bring us to your socks. 154 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,720 Come into the toilets with me. 155 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:48,240 Oh. It's so clearly a display. It's really cute. 156 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:53,080 Imagine giving a bad review. 157 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,240 They've obviously never been to the theatre. 158 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,640 (LAUGHS) 159 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:01,880 If anything, I'd say it'd be good if they had a little woman sitting there. I'd go in even more. 160 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,120 So, she was just sitting. 161 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,400 But I'd have her dressed in the gear like that. 162 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,120 Your socks need washing? 163 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,440 Wash your socks. (LAUGHS) 164 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:15,160 Right, let's go and have a bit of Taste of Norway. 165 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:21,200 The Taste Of Norway offers a Norwegian buffet. Two words I've never heard together. 166 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:25,400 But surely, it's the perfect way to enjoy Norwegian culinary delights. 167 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,200 Like these slices of...brown? 168 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,760 Maybe our host can help. 169 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,920 Hello. Hi. Welcome. 170 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:37,000 This is the buffet. We have four stations. This is the cold, er, start. 171 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,960 And I've just seen you serve whales. 172 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,240 Yeah, we do. We do. That's a whale. 173 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,160 It's smaller than I thought. (CHUCKLES) 174 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,160 I don't think it's the whole thing. What else are you killing? 175 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,800 A reindeer? A moose? No one's safe in the woods or the water. 176 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,840 Yeah. I'm gonna have a little bit of this because Sara's vegan. 177 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,880 Go ahead. Is there anything veggie? 178 00:08:55,960 --> 00:09:00,080 So, we have bread because this is a very typical Norwegian - I'll have the bread. 179 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,800 Sara does all the bread eating, I do all the meat eating. 180 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,480 Okay, how much am I allowed? 181 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,400 Not too, oh, really? Whoa. Oh, it's really filling. (LAUGHS) 182 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,480 Yeah, I'm a hungry girl. 183 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:14,720 Sara had the bread covered so it was down to me to taste every other taste of Norway there is. 184 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,520 That is a herring. 185 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,520 This is called Rommegrot. 186 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,760 Good enough for the Vikings good enough for me. 187 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:26,120 Fish cakes? Yes, please. 188 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,720 Reindeer meatballs. Fish soup? 189 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:32,320 I'll have a bit of that. Get a couple of bits of those. That's a good soup. 190 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,760 I'm holding these. 191 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,560 I feel I'm greedy, I've got a helper. 192 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,080 I don't normally get filmed at buffets. Now I see why. 193 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,160 This is a good trial for your OnlyFans. 194 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,040 (LAUGHTER) 195 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,640 That's enough though, I don't wanna be a greedy guts. 196 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,520 Right, Sara, let's do this. Look at this. 197 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,640 Some flaps. 198 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:54,160 Can I get to my bread? You all right? 199 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,560 (LAUGHING) You've got so much... 200 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,360 Try some of your fishy soup. 201 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,800 I'll tell you what I've got. Fish. 202 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,160 First up, a Scandi classic. Pickled herring. 203 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,520 I feel like a feeder just watching you. 204 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:11,600 Did you like that? A bit more? 205 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,000 It's actually nice. No, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 206 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,240 Nice and then... 207 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,880 Spit it out. 208 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,480 (LAUGHING) I just did a... 209 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,320 I look like Hannibal Lecter? I thought... 210 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,840 Joking. 211 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,280 What's that cake like, then? 212 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,720 Well, it is dry cake like they said. 213 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,080 Luckily, I'm being brought some vegan food 214 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,360 by my knight in shining waistcoat. 215 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,320 She was very happy with her 19 bit of bread, though. Thank you. 216 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,360 Thank you. That's really kind. Mmm. 217 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,560 The broccoli is absolutely outstanding. 218 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,960 It's flavoured up the wazoo. 219 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,040 Where is the wazoo on a broccoli? 220 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,240 I'm gonna try this sort of risotto. It's an old Viking dish 221 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,120 Okay. 222 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,440 (CHUCKLES) 223 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,760 Oh, it's good stuff. I think I'm Norwegian in spirit. 224 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:12,160 Next on the menu, the mystery of the brown slices is solved. 225 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,640 It's Norwegian specialty brown cheese. 226 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,000 Oh, yeah. What? 227 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,080 (LAUGHS) 228 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,000 What is happening? 229 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,960 What happened? 230 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,920 What? 231 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,480 It's turned into toffee. Feels like I'm eating toffees 232 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,560 that have been left on top of cheese. 233 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,160 It's a magical place, Norway. Cheese becomes toffee. 234 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,200 (GASPS) Is it? 235 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,880 Gonna be gross. Are you ready? 236 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,640 I wasn't ready. 237 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:51,960 I wasn't ready. (CHUCKLES) And I'll never be ready. 238 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,200 Yeah, but I believed you. 239 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,520 It didn't need to be shown it out of your mouth. 240 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:02,720 Let's see what you vegans are sneakily getting up to. Behind our backs. 241 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,920 It will make you realise - hello. Vegans drink like Vikings. 242 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,520 What? 243 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,720 And eat some mead. Some mead? 244 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,320 I'll bring. Thank you. 245 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,880 You've got very soft footsteps, I'll tell you that. (LAUGHING) 246 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:24,560 Ah, yes, apple juice, the drink of Vikings who are doing dry jam. 247 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,000 Skal! Skal! 248 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,240 (LAUGHING) 249 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,440 Yeah, we need doggie bags, please. 250 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,080 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 251 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,880 We're in Norway. One online review says... 252 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,400 (ROISIN READING) 253 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,240 Today, we're heading out to see how disgusting it is. 254 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:51,840 Yeah. Not that disgusting really. 255 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:53,680 It's so pretty. 256 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,320 I cannot believe how beautiful these wooden houses are. 257 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,480 I like the big mountain behind them. 258 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:01,320 Bergen means seven mountains or something. 259 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,720 What does "Bergen?" mean? 260 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,240 Seven? Is there seven mountains? 261 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:11,160 But Bergen is also one of Norway's busiest ports, 262 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,760 with over 300 cruise ship visits a year. 263 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,680 Taking passengers to see the beautiful fjords. 264 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:20,800 But I've found a way of getting out on the water without spending a penny. 265 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,920 Or whatever they spend in Norway. 266 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,720 Norwegian pennies. 267 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,920 This is exciting. This is getting right on a fjord. 268 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,520 Couldn't be more Norwegian. 269 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,480 It's free, which is also, couldn't be less Norwegian. 270 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,400 It doesn't cost money, but I think because it's work technically. 271 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,640 Hello. ANDREAS: Hello, there. Hi, I'm Sara. 272 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,600 Hi, Andreas. I'm Roisin, Nice to meet you. 273 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:46,200 So, what is this experience? It's basically, er, a concept 274 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:49,840 where you get to rent a kayak for free. You get out here 275 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:53,400 and you explore the scenery and then you pick up rubbish 276 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,520 by the coastline. What kind of rubbish do you have out there? 277 00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:01,000 We have all kinds. Beer cans, even have those electric scooters. 278 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,840 And can we keep anything we find, like an electric scooter. 279 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:08,440 If you want to, but the last time that happened, it exploded outside here. 280 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:09,720 What? So, don't do that. 281 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,840 Basically, you don't have to pay for it if you go and do a job. 282 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,640 Or something might explode. 283 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,640 Then, when you come back here, you get to weigh the trash, 284 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,840 and it's reported, so they'll know how much trash has been picked. 285 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:24,520 And what about turning over? What are the chances of us capsizing? 286 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,880 Basically, none. 287 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,760 Will you hear us if we scream? 288 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:29,600 I have a good hearing. 289 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,480 Okay, great. Well, let's hope so. So this is all our stuff. 290 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:36,720 Today, we're going out canoeing, getting rubbish, saving the world, 291 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,520 as a favour to Norway. You're welcome. 292 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:43,360 I think we'll probably get NBEs. or whatever the equivalent is in Norway. 293 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,880 Do they have a Royal Family here? 294 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,960 No, they don't. They do have a royal family! 295 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,480 Okay. I think the King is going to give us a prize. 296 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,600 So, how often do you do this? 297 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,120 Well, I help people with it. 298 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,720 You don't actually ever do it yourself? 299 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,920 Nah. 300 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,560 He's never done it. 301 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:04,440 I mean, that does worry me, Rosh. 302 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,960 I'm quite scared of open water. 303 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,920 I lost my voice in open water as a child. 304 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,360 It won't, I promise. 305 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,400 It's not gonna tip. 306 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,960 It's a cold open water. 307 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,160 I always think if I tip over, I'm gonna scream, 308 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:19,640 but no one's gonna hear me. 309 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,560 Are you gonna undo us? Er, let's see. 310 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,480 All you want is someone who you trust to explain how it works. 311 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,080 Okay, that was the wrong key. 312 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,680 It's the wrong key! Andreas, do you even work here? 313 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,480 Andreas comes out and he said, "I've never been on a kayak." 314 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,280 Then, he couldn't do the keys. I don't think you work here. 315 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:39,840 I wandered up here. 316 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,880 Very lovely. It's a little bit frightening. 317 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,840 Eirik to the rescue. 318 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:47,600 There we go. 319 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,640 It's time for us to get out there and clean up this filthy town. 320 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:56,480 Watch out, I'm about to hit something. God. not been very elegant. There we go. 321 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,560 We sort of need to left and right at the same time. 322 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,240 There we go. 323 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:07,600 Do you reckon next year they'll do Oxford, Cambridge, and then Roisin and Sara in the third boat. Woo! 324 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,160 Try again. 325 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,440 Right. Oh, the wind's not in our favour. 326 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,800 Are you rowing? Okay, let's go. Find some litter. 327 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,360 But first, we need to make it out of the harbour. 328 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,400 We need to go around. I'm going to hit this boat if we just drift. 329 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,280 Oh, dear. 330 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,960 Yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Ah. 331 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,560 It's too late. We're gonna hit this one. (BUMP) Pop. 332 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,720 Shit. We've got our own system really 333 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,200 when you think about it. We sort of boat, like, pinball. 334 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,120 That way or that way? 335 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,880 (BOTH LAUGH) 336 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,000 The English Channel. Here we come! (LAUGHING) 337 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,400 Are there any Norwegian songs for sailing? 338 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,520 Erm, there must be, mustn't there? I don't know what we can... 339 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,880 We need like a sea shanty. Yeah. 340 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,040 There you go high and we go low. Like Norse. 341 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,360 It can't be that different from, like, Scottish. 342 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,840 Imagine Vikings arriving on these boats. 343 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,480 We should've worn little horns in our hats. Maybe that'd be offensive actually. 344 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,440 What's happening? There'd be a bit more litter. 345 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:20,920 Shall we collect some seaweed? 346 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:25,200 Well, that's the only thing I think they're, they're very clean. 347 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,120 I haven't seen a single crisp packet. 348 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,000 Not so much as a cigarette butt. 349 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:33,600 I've not seen one thing. It's a really weird feeling to be disappointed. 350 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,840 That there's not more litter. It's been ravaged by other kayakers. 351 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,560 They've gone in, nothing left. 352 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,840 Norway's too clean! (LAUGHS) 353 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:44,240 They've had an absolute run on of people in the green kayaks. 354 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:48,080 But suddenly, we had bigger problems to deal with. 355 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,560 It's getting very choppy now. Sara. We need to get away from these rocks. 356 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,520 Sara, we need to move. It's mad. 357 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,400 I know, but we're going the wrong way. 358 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,120 I know we are. It's too wavy. 359 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,320 Is this what seamen see just before they die? 360 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,240 Quick! Quick! We've got to turn around. 361 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,200 I'm trying. 362 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,000 (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) 363 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,760 There's a GoPro. In the water. 364 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,000 GoPro's in the water. 365 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,520 Fuck! It's gone. 366 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,040 We then did smash a GoPro. 367 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,600 No, it's not. I need the net. 368 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,120 And Sara went to climb out of the boat in the open water to get it. 369 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,680 I'm just kneeling. I'm just kneeling. 370 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,720 I won't tip you in the water. 371 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:27,920 Hell. 372 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,200 I thought that was mad. 373 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,880 I can't believe our littering is just us rescuing a GoPro. 374 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:37,600 We did rescue something. We just sort of had to lose it first. 375 00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:39,760 It's quite an odyssey, really. 376 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:45,520 I'm soaking. We were heading back with nothing to show but wet socks and a camera 377 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,840 that would never go... pro again. 378 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,880 Oh, there's something in the water. 379 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,960 It's a banana peel. A banana peel. 380 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,800 It's a banana peel. 381 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,440 Get it. Get it. 382 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,720 Oh, my God. Yeah! 383 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,680 (WHOOPING) 384 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,880 A biodegradable banana peel. 385 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,240 Banana peel. 386 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:10,320 Yes. It may only be one banana skin but I have contributed 387 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,000 to the removal of rubbish from this beautiful water. 388 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,280 If that banana was still in the sea, I wouldn't have slept tonight. 389 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,680 (BUMP) Oh, shit. 390 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,920 That was lovely and relaxing. (LAUGHS) 391 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:28,600 Andreas, we've worked really hard and Norway is welcome for our service. 392 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,360 Can you just tell us how many kilograms of rubbish we collected? 393 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,680 Yeah, let's see. I'm gonna turn this thingy on. 394 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,440 Pretend you've used it before. 395 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:40,280 Yeah. Stare at it. Like an alien concept. Ah, yes. 396 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:44,200 Yeah, well, it's 0.0 kg. Or 0.0 pounds. 397 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,800 I'm gonna throw it back in the water. Lightweight. 398 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,840 It's organic. 399 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,880 Listen, Norway is very clean. And why are you luring people out here with this 400 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:58,440 sort of, like, "We need help, come and clean our waters". It's absolutely spotless out there. 401 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:02,480 It gives you an opportunity to, to explore the, the coastline 402 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,360 in ways you wouldn't otherwise. 403 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:08,200 We definitely explored, we saw some of those rocks really close up. Yeah. 404 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,080 Exactly. (ALL LAUGH) 405 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,840 Likewise. Yeah. 406 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:16,280 It was wonderful fun. Loads of the bad reviews in Norway 407 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,320 are because of how expensive things are. 408 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:22,560 So, it's a real boon to find something that is completely free and enjoyable. 409 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,120 I can't say if this is a great free way to see Bergen 410 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,480 because I only saw this bit here. 411 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,600 And you can see that from here. 412 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,080 So we decided to see more of the city using a method 413 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:39,360 so budget-friendly, It was invented before money was even a thing. 414 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:40,600 Walking. 415 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:43,720 Oh, it's lovely. 416 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,160 It's lovely. And it's kind of pumping. 417 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,400 On a Saturday afternoon. 418 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,720 And my number one criteria for judging the quality of a city... 419 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,200 ...dog vibes. 420 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,760 Hello, Snuggles. Boy, hello! Hello, good morning. 421 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:02,280 Oh, my God. Hello, doggy. 422 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,840 Oh, hi! Doggy. 423 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,560 Is this what it's like when you've got a man who keeps looking at other women? 424 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,160 I think the dogs are outstanding and I think that is for me 425 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,680 a big green flag. Do you reckon you could live here? 426 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,440 Yeah. If I ran away from my family. 427 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,120 (LAUGHS) 428 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,000 If I did live here, one thing I'd probably end up doing 429 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,480 is the country's national sport. Skiing. 430 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,080 Seventy percent of Norwegians own a pair of skis. 431 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,960 The other 30%, presumably, just go down on a tea tray. 432 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,640 But how do they practise when there's no snow on the slopes? 433 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,400 We've come to an empty car park to find out. 434 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,480 It feels... Like we're going Yeah. 435 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,040 Like we're meeting the Romford lot. (LAUGHS) 436 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,720 Meeting the Romford lot behind the ice rink. 437 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,840 Sort this out once and for all. 438 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,600 Erm, where... I can't see anyone. 439 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,040 I can't even imagine what a roller ski looks like. 440 00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:59,280 I think they do it to practise in when they can't get on the slopes. 441 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,720 So, it's a real like, this is genuinely where they practise, apparently. 442 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,520 Erm, would you like to hear some reviews? One star. 443 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,200 (READING) 444 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:14,160 It's excessive, isn't it? 445 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,240 And it's just not a very... as a review it, 446 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:21,240 it lacks any sort of like... pizzazz. 447 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:26,200 Look. To add wheels and then go really fast in a car park, that's fun, right? Yeah. 448 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,440 If indeed it even exists. 449 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,280 No, it does feel like we're gonna get mugged. 450 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:34,320 Like we've arranged to come and buy drugs. 451 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,440 No one, no one would mug you in such sort of open space. 452 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,240 Oh, God, this must be them. 453 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,640 Here they are. The cavalry is arriving. 454 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,120 That is a weird sport. (LAUGH) 455 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,320 Okay, they're coming now. We've got to stop laughing. Look serious. 456 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,760 Wow, they're fast. 457 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,400 Hi! Hi! 458 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,720 Hi. Oh, they're very... Oh! 459 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,280 Hello. Hello! Very good. 460 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,720 Are you allowed to do that in the streets? 461 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,000 We do it anyway. 462 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,400 I'm Sara. Hi. Hi. 463 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,240 How long have you been doing this for? And are you a gang? 464 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,520 Yeah, we would say so. 465 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:22,000 So we've been practising since we was 12, I think. 466 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,960 Is this very popular in Norway, what you're doing? 467 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,840 Yeah. As we say Norwegian are born with the skis on their feet. 468 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,160 Someone who's given birth twice, I'm like ooh. 469 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,280 (ALL LAUGHING) 470 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:37,320 And do you do it to practice for the actual slope or is it a separate thing on its own? 471 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:41,680 Yeah, we're practising for the cross country skis in the winter. Okay. 472 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,240 In the summer we compete with rubber skis sometimes, 473 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,640 but it's more often in the winter. Okay, I see. 474 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,680 How long do you think it will take us to learn how to do this? 475 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,480 So have you been skiing before or? 476 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,720 No, we've not been skiing ever. So, this is gonna be interesting. 477 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,600 Yeah. Balance must be important. Check this out. 478 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,320 Maybe the most important. I can just stay for ages. 479 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:06,160 Look, they're all like, "Oh, she's gonna be good". (BOTH LAUGHING) 480 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:10,520 Now to practice for a sport we've never done before on a hard tarmac surface. 481 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:16,560 When he's taking his left foot down, his right pole is going there. 482 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,800 It's the opposite, like. 483 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:24,360 Always when we come to a country I want to try things that normal tourists don't get a chance to do. 484 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,640 You watch other people going fast on something, 485 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,160 you think, "Ah, that's really fun, let me at 'em". 486 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:33,040 And then, I was instantly chastened by the danger element. 487 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:35,400 Oh. Shit. There we go. There we go. 488 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,080 It doesn't feel very elegant when you turn back round. 489 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,560 Oh, you turned though! 490 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,120 (SPUTTERING) 491 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,040 Right, okay. I'm going too fast. Stop! 492 00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:46,320 It feels like it's something that someone's cursed us with. 493 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,880 "For the rest of your days, you will have wheels for feet." 494 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:54,680 Yeah, I'm sort of getting the hang of it. (SPUTTERING) 495 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,200 Yeah, like that, you're doing really great for doing it the first time. 496 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,760 Oh, it was very much an enjoyable experience. 497 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:03,360 Woo-hoo! (LAUGHS) 498 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,640 If Roisin had been bit more steady, I think we'd have had more fun, 499 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,680 because I was partly worried. 500 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,360 Oh, God. It's too fast. 501 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,640 How do I stop? Oh! 502 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:17,520 It's very frightening. Cos you just think you're gonna fall the whole time. 503 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,040 Help! Oh... 504 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:24,480 It's like ice skating but you normally have something you can hold on to for ages. 505 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,080 And I did, but it was a 16-year-old or, you know, 506 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,800 he was like... 507 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,720 I was just... stay here... Oh, God. ...with your knees a bit tucked. 508 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,120 I wanna stop. But what I'm hoping is in this edit 509 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,480 you'll just speed me up really fast 510 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,440 and put really good music on it, make me look cool. 511 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,560 Morning. 512 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,840 Help, help! (LAUGHS) Fuck this. 513 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,840 Have you ever done this with anyone worse? 514 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,840 Erm, no not actually. 515 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,360 (LAUGHTER) 516 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:56,760 See, that feels fantastic. 517 00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,720 Maybe I'd like skiing as long as it was sort of flat. 518 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,160 I didn't wanna look like I was having a great time 519 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,360 while Roisin was struggling. It was fun. 520 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,760 Absolutely disagreed with the reviews. Didn't think 521 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,600 Norwegians have lost it. This seems to me like common sense. 522 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,880 You can't ski on snow, you popped some wheels on. 523 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,040 Clogs, on the other hand, from Denmark, wooden shoes. 524 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,280 You know? They've lost it. 525 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,680 They're very honest, the Norwegians, I like it. 526 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,480 He said I was the worst person he'd ever done it with. And I'd improve that much. 527 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,840 It sounds exactly like when I lost my virginity. 528 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,160 (LAUGHING) 529 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,480 Okay. Thank you very much. It was lovely to meet you. 530 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,080 I tell you what, turning round is so inelegant. 531 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:40,360 Bye, guys! Thanks for teaching us! 532 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,560 Bye. Good-bye. Bye! 533 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,120 Do you think we should skate to our next thing? 534 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,440 What is the next thing? Hospital. 535 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:49,960 (BOTH LAUGHING) 536 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,560 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 537 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,520 We're in Norway. Known for fjords, 538 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,720 fisherman's cabins, oh, and black metal. 539 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,680 (BLACK METAL MUSIC PLAYING) 540 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,760 Famous for its up-tempo songs, Satan worship and church burnings, 541 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,560 Black Metal is Norway's biggest cultural export. 542 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:14,120 So, to see why the lovely Norwegian people are so keen on this dark music, 543 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,120 we've arranged to meet a local band at their rehearsal space. 544 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,880 Would you like to hear some reviews of black metal music? 545 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:25,640 Which is so huge in parts of Norway. 546 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,520 I sort of feel like this is the gateway drug to going in there. Go on then. 547 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,640 One star. 548 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,800 (READING) 549 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,280 Yes. 550 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,720 I'm quite scared of death. I don't like Satan and stuff. 551 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,480 Is it pro-Satan or anti-Satan? 552 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,760 Well, he's just getting a lot of air time. 553 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,000 Yeah. What's the band called? 554 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,360 I don't know. We're gonna find out. 555 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:53,640 I don't think it's that. 556 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,160 (BOTH LAUGH) 557 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,920 (METAL MUSIC PLAYING) 558 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,840 Vinterbris are a melodic black metal band. 559 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:07,600 Their name may sound satanic, 560 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,720 but actually it means "winter's breeze". 561 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:12,600 I think I've got a candle called that. 562 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:14,920 We ready? Yeah. 563 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,080 We just have to go in. Ready? Yeah. 564 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 565 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,240 First impressions, it was too loud. 566 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,160 If it is, like, can you survive this 567 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,160 I'm probably not gonna be that relaxed. 568 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:40,800 Sara did some good dancing. 569 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,960 I actually thought it might be my new thing. 570 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,200 Imagine that. "Is Sara coming?" "Which one?" 571 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,040 "Oh, you know the one who's into black metal." 572 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,040 "What? The mum of two from North London?" 573 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,160 "Yeah, she's into black metal now." 574 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,080 (MUSIC ENDS) 575 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,520 It's very much like a panic attack. 576 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,440 (LAUGHTER) And I guess that's the vibe. 577 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,640 Yeah. It's an extreme genre that kind of has a lot of feelings 578 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,240 and the thing is to get that creature out of you. 579 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,880 And heavy metal is huge in Norway. 580 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,840 Certain parts of it. Yeah. 581 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,760 Black metal. Why is it called 582 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,600 More distortion, more kind of gritty sound. 583 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,120 And so what is the vocal? How do you sing? 584 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,920 It's kind of like screaming, you know? (LAUGHS) But it is. At some point. 585 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,720 Yeah, scream singing. Yeah. 586 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,680 You're supposed to like use all the capacity in your lungs. 587 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,680 Yeah. And it would be like (SCREAMS) Ahh! 588 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,040 But then, you'd add even more volume. 589 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,480 So it'd be (SCREAMS LOUDER) Ahh! 590 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,600 Banged one of your elbow. 591 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:41,200 And then you could pitch it with your mouth so it can go deeper, 592 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,080 so it could be like (DEEP GROWL) Ooh. 593 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:45,320 Sorry. 594 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,640 But Roisin's got a really scary voice. 595 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,280 I don't know if this is right. 596 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,200 I used to climb inside a duvet cover and pretend to my sister 597 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,800 I was going to another side, I used to do this voice, 598 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:58,240 (IN DEEP VOICE) I'm going to the other side! You'll never mind me again. 599 00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,720 (ALL LAUGH) 600 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,640 So, you inhale, right? That's another type of style. 601 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,000 I've never done it to, a song. Why don't we... 602 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,400 Sorry. 603 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,200 We just invited ourselves into your band. Do you wanna try? 604 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,600 We're very dark of heart. Then you're welcome. Great. 605 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,640 You gotta do this one and the leg at the same time. Yeah. 606 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,040 And then in between... 607 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,000 I think I can't do the rhythm. 608 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,840 (DRUMMING) 609 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,040 That's the same. 610 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:39,240 I couldn't hear you cos I was drumming so loud. Were you singing well? 611 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,160 No, I was trying to put... said things like I like cornflakes. 612 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:43,640 Just positivity. 613 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,600 Didn't look like I was having a great time. 614 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,120 Don't think anyone thinks, "This person's a natural". 615 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,440 Like if black metal's Simon Cowell walked past. 616 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,560 I love people like, "These girls look like they've got something." 617 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:01,800 (APPLAUSE) 618 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,120 A natural. 619 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,400 Safe to say our metal is more beige than black. 620 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,960 So, it's over to Vinterbris for one last tune. 621 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,440 (MUSIC PLAYS) 622 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,760 Yeah. It's not for me. That's war music. 623 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,960 Sorry, don't everyone start emailing me going, 624 00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:22,120 you're not listening right. I couldn't cos I've already gone deaf. 625 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:26,120 I'm, I'm buzzing. Yeah. I've been at a very short concert. 626 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:27,280 My ears are buzzing. 627 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,640 We had to run out. I'm being very mean and they seem very nice. 628 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,560 But listen, they'll think the music I like's shit. So... 629 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,720 No one's ever gone on a killing spree after listening to Boyzone. 630 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,160 You're absolutely right, Sara. 631 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,920 After seeing the dark side of Norwegian culture, 632 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,160 it's time to visit somewhere even more unpleasant. 633 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,240 The olden days. 634 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,920 This is very nice. 635 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,280 Hello, walls! Are you alive? 636 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,840 I feel like a living museum sometimes. (CHUCKLES) 637 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,160 Living museum for what happened in the '90s. 638 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,600 The museum shows visitors what life was like in 1800s Bergen 639 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,640 with a cast of actors bringing the small town dramas to life. 640 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,240 We're looking forward to Ibsen meets Emmerdale. 641 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,080 "You ate my herring, pickler!" "Yes, I am!" 642 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,880 Yes, please. 643 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,560 Okay. One star. 644 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,200 (READING) 645 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,200 Okay, I've been called a so-called comedian many, many times. 646 00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,680 So, I'm gonna give these so-called actors 647 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:41,760 the benefit of the doubt. 648 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,360 Yeah. 649 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,800 Yeah. Also, I've done jobs like this. 650 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,240 I've done historical acting in places. 651 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,360 You know, the Meridian in Greenwich. 652 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,040 Telling people about when time was discovered. 653 00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,160 Yeah, I will join in. 654 00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:00,440 As soon as I know the facts, I'll be in there. I'll be like, my turn! 655 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,480 Great. Let's go. 656 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,720 I could've told you that if we were on the meridian. 657 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:09,520 (LAUGHING) 658 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:12,840 We're just in time to catch a short play about 659 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,520 our favourite topic, dental care. 660 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:20,080 So, Ladies and gentlemen, come closer. It's nothing to be afraid of. 661 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,320 I'm the dentist by the way. 662 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,280 But as it turns out, only one of the actors has turned up. 663 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,600 I'm just waiting for some customers. 664 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,840 They will arrive quite soon, I hope. 665 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:34,240 (MUSIC PLAYING) 666 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,000 I just have to wait, I'm afraid. 667 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,120 This is where we could get up, do a song and dance for everyone. 668 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:44,400 What's the best time to visit the dentist? 2:30. 669 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,120 Get 'em warmed up. This stuff. 670 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:50,320 So, erm... 671 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:56,400 ...we wait for a few minutes and then we are ready. 672 00:33:56,480 --> 00:34:00,200 Trouble is I'm coming up on my third coffee. I need something to happen. 673 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:01,880 (HUMMING) 674 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,840 Oh, God. I thought 675 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,480 I don't like waiting. 676 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,640 Are you ready? 677 00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:10,680 MAN: Not yet. Not yet. 678 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,360 Oh, my God. 679 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,840 Yeah? 680 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:21,160 Oh! It's okay, I'm fine. I'm fine. It's okay. 681 00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:22,960 It's okay. She's got a sore tooth. 682 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:25,920 (WOMAN SPEAKING) 683 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,400 Yeah, she's just... 684 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:29,640 Yeah. 685 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,440 But, why? You know why. 686 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,640 Oh, God. You're getting married. 687 00:34:35,720 --> 00:34:38,760 So, you've to get all your teeth pulled out now, so your husband 688 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,160 don't have to pay for it in the future. All of them? 689 00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:44,360 I got mine out for my confirmation. 690 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,760 Then you got nice new dentures in. It'll be all right. 691 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,760 Oh! 692 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:52,880 It's nothing to worry about. It takes about half an hour. 693 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,080 Half an hour? Yes, I'll wait for you here. 694 00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,480 ACTRESS: (CRYING) 695 00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:58,920 We have to help that lady. 696 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,960 I disagree with the review. It's good stuff. 697 00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:05,160 Calling it a play is pushing it, but it's a lovely immersive piece. 698 00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:08,320 They use this space well. She runs upstairs, comes out the window, 699 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,480 you're like, "Lovely stuff. Like a Western". 700 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:14,280 ACTRESS: (SCREAMING) DENTIST: I'm not finished! 701 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:15,480 She's covered in blood. 702 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,880 I found out awful things. It was quite informative 703 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:21,240 that all women had to get all their teeth removed before you got married 704 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,960 so your husband didn't have to pay for it. Good performers. 705 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:26,040 Little bit of gore, tiny little bit of smut. 706 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,680 Come with me and I show you my instruments. 707 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:30,720 Excuse me. 708 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:34,120 It was a little bit of a... This is theatre, baby. I'm all for it. 709 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:37,240 Thank you. 710 00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:42,400 ROISIN: Right, Sara. What next? (CHUCKLES) 711 00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:46,840 Voss? Okay. stars, women bonding. 712 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:48,640 So, we've done quite a lot in Bergen, 713 00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:51,120 now, we're gonna see a bit more of the countryside. 714 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,640 And we're gonna go, dare I say it, hellish camping 715 00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:56,120 but somewhere beautiful. 716 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,680 Erm, so go somewhere nice, do an awful thing. 717 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,200 That's sort of the vibe, right? (LAUGHS) 718 00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:04,640 (MUSIC PLAYING) 719 00:36:04,720 --> 00:36:06,160 SARA: We're exploring Norway, 720 00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:08,240 a country which has prompted this review. 721 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,680 (READING) 722 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,240 So, we've decided to see the most FIT landscapes in the world 723 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,880 via the worst thing ever invented, camping. 724 00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:22,280 We've come to the station. We've been lent this stuff for free. 725 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,920 There's a place called BUA and it's like a Christian missionary 726 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,440 and in Norway, they lend it to you for free. 727 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,720 So, you don't have to buy it and have waste. 728 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,560 Just give it back. It's amazing. 729 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,160 And we're going to Voss. Voss. No, camping. 730 00:36:35,240 --> 00:36:38,520 To some beautiful place to do a terrible activity. 731 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,320 You think it'll convert me? Yeah. 732 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:43,200 That's my, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna convert you. 733 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,840 You're gonna become a camping gal. All right, let's go get the train. All right. 734 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,800 You managed to get off a bit lightly there, didn't you? I did. 735 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:56,720 We have left it a little bit late. I mean We've got so much stuff. 736 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,280 Quick, quick, quick. 737 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:00,240 Here is three. Oh, hello. 738 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,680 Snazzy. Your Majesty. 739 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,080 (MUSIC PLAYING) 740 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,560 We're heading east to the small town of Voss. 741 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,080 On a train one passenger described as... 742 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:11,840 (READING) 743 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:13,360 So, we'll fit right in. 744 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,360 Want to hear a review of this train, Sara? 745 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,880 I'd absolutely love one. I can't imagine anyone saying anything negative. 746 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:22,600 One star. 747 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,920 "The train is not particularly clean or well maintained. 748 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,880 "The toilets had no soap and the seat's very loose. 749 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,560 "The worst train I've ever been on". 750 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,280 Is that King Charles and Camilla? Who, this is so comfy! 751 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,880 It is actually, they've signed it themselves. (LAUGHS) 752 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,280 "At the end you didn't even see much of the landscape either." 753 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,480 What! You know what I reckon they were doing? 754 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,680 They were busy typing in their phone, moaning, 755 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:46,160 they forgot to look out. 756 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,840 So pretty. Wow. 757 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:52,680 This is it, isn't it? (GASPS) This is being on holiday. 758 00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,800 The bridge, the water. It's so relaxing. 759 00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:57,840 Shrubbery and the big black tunnels. 760 00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,400 I guess that's the thing. You got to keep your eyes out 761 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,960 in case then... Fjord! Yeah. 762 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:04,680 Here we go. Let's see what can see. 763 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,080 Let's gulp down some beauty. Num num num, gone. 764 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,520 Oh, gone, yeah. (BOTH LAUGHING) 765 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:12,000 Feels like a supermarket dash. 766 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:15,200 Maybe it's like a philosophical lesson. 767 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,320 Appreciate the view while it's there. Your eye's eating it. 768 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,360 Num num num. Oh, it's gone. 769 00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:24,200 I'm trying to get the beauty in. Yeah. 770 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,120 In a sort of gluttonous way. Cos I'm trying to enjoy the view 771 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,800 and in my ear I can hear 'num num num num num'. 772 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:31,480 Num num num num num. 773 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,600 It's sort of undermining it. 774 00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,360 Num num num num num. 775 00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:38,840 Here we are. 776 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:41,880 Voss, baby! Look. A lovely hotel. 777 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:43,680 Why can't we stay in a hotel in Voss? 778 00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:45,360 Cos the reviews are too good. 779 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,840 But not all reviewers think Voss is boss. 780 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,760 Some of them are cross. One star. 781 00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:55,240 "Voss is a small town with little interest in itself. I was bored." 782 00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,320 Hmm. There's a three star This is more positive. 783 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,680 "I'd say there plenty to do there. You just need to be creative." 784 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:06,320 That's us. Yeah, we're creative. That is us, baby. 785 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,880 Let's go show these mountains a good time. 786 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:14,080 Voss is mainly a ski resort. But as it's summer, and we've been banned 787 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:17,960 from ever roller skiing again, we're setting up camp by the lake 788 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:22,400 to enjoy the Nordic concept of friluftsliv. Or open-air life. 789 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,040 I mean, it is absolutely stunning. 790 00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,240 I can't hear anything. Apart from us. 791 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,360 Sometimes zero stars comes up in our favour. Yeah. 792 00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:38,880 It's overwhelmingly beautiful. I can't believe people got bored here. 793 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,680 I don't think you need to do anything 794 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,760 but sit and smell that air. 795 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:48,240 I should have looked up whether Norway has snakes before we went camping. 796 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:52,080 You say things like this as we approach the campsite. (LAUGHS) 797 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,560 Right, so it's free roam, right to roam or whatever. 798 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,240 So, you can camp anywhere? Yeah. 799 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,960 So we can do it by the beach then. Yeah, let's go down here. 800 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:04,000 Sure it's legal, Sara? Don't wanna wake up with the Feds round me. 801 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,960 I don't wanna wake up with a bear poking his head through. 802 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:08,840 Oh, I'd love that. Would you? 803 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:12,240 A cow, a bear, a horse. Yes, please. Yeah. All those big animals. 804 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,720 Yeah. I like a big animal. If you know what I mean. 805 00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,240 (BOTH LAUGH) 806 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:20,720 All right, so I think tent is the most important thing to get up first. 807 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,520 Do you think it's a pop-up or no? 808 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:25,480 It's definitely not pop-up because these are separate. Okay. 809 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:29,240 Whoo. I will not do this ineptly. Oh, no. For women everywhere. 810 00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,400 Rosh, we're doing this for women, I was about to say. I'm not. 811 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:36,480 Some women don't give a shit about camping. And that's me. 812 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:40,000 Right. How do you get in there then, man? 813 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,120 There's this but there's no in. 814 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,240 That's what I thought. There was like a bit of tube inside normally. 815 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:49,080 Camping is taking everything you do in your normal life and make it more difficult 816 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:53,120 so when you get home, you really appreciate having a toilet. 817 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:56,800 Okay. No. That's definitely, I've got definitely in the wrong. 818 00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,200 Stop it. This is silly. 819 00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:03,000 You think yellow ones to go in the yellow one, red ones to go in the red one? 820 00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:04,720 I think that now. Yeah. 821 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,520 MAN: There might be some instructions. 822 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,600 They're Norwegian. Don't mansplain us tent making. 823 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,760 Right. I think this goes in the end of a tube here. 824 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,440 So, this does go here. Yeah, damn, yeah. 825 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:21,040 Yes. That's it! That's it! You've got it! You got in it! 826 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,320 Yeah, you fucker. 827 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,200 It's a lot of admin, camping. 828 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:32,080 That's the fun of it. That's why, it's not one star, nothing to do. 829 00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:35,160 You've got loads to do. Just survive? Yeah. 830 00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:37,080 You don't get this view from a hotel. 831 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,280 This is nice, to be fair. It is nice. 832 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:44,320 Our tent was up. Now, make flames. 833 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,920 Oh, my God. Roisin! You made a fire! 834 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,720 Yeah, Irish holidays. 835 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,680 They didn't have a central heating in my nan's house, it's fires. 836 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:58,120 It's very close to our seating area. (LAUGHING) 837 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:00,680 I don't think you should put that. 838 00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,800 No, I'm putting it here for you to sit on. 839 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,160 I think you could enjoy the fire you made. 840 00:42:05,240 --> 00:42:07,200 Cos I'm a gentleman. 841 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:08,800 My lady. Thank you. 842 00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:10,480 We need to get our snacks. 843 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,680 I think you've to run across really fast. What do you need? 844 00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:14,840 Grab them all. 845 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,360 (LAUGHS) 846 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:19,680 Careful. It's very flamey. 847 00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:23,240 This is fun, isn't it? Yeah. I just thought of a pun. Wanna hear it? 848 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,120 Go on. Roastin' Conaty. 849 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,800 (LAUGHS) 850 00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,280 The fire's lovely now. It's lovely and warm. 851 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:37,360 Camping is a thing I don't love but this has been actually very fun. 852 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:41,240 I hate it when I'm sort of enjoying things that I sort of am against. 853 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,880 This is a lovely end to what has been a pretty amazing trip. 854 00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,600 Yeah. Did you like Bergen? Loved Bergen. 855 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,160 I'm gonna say something. Might be my favourite. 856 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:55,320 Norway might be expensive, but I think our trip was good value. 857 00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:58,280 It doesn't cost anything to enjoy the scenery, 858 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,280 or hang out with teenagers in an empty car park. 859 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,800 And most importantly, spend some quality time with a friend. 860 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:07,480 You got yourself locked in! Help! Help! Help! 861 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:11,200 My review is four fjord banana peels out of five. 862 00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,320 (MUSIC PLAYING) 863 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:17,640 Norway, I love you. Five stars. Absolutely wonderful place. 864 00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:19,840 That blue coat I bought in Bergen, I lost it. 865 00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,600 I'm using this time to appeal for anyone to find that coat. 866 00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,520 I lost it in Wales. Or someone in Norway send me another one. 867 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,280 Five stars Norway. Love you. 868 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,080 Well, we've got a long night ahead. 869 00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:33,120 Yeah. We need to tell scary stories or something. 870 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,800 I was once camping with Roisin and we both caught fire. 871 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,160 (BOTH LAUGHING) 872 00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:40,240 Subtitles by Deluxe 67627