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1
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:12,971
How are we doing on time?
2
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,472
The party starts in an hour.
3
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:17,017
- 60 minutes. 60 minutes,
that's a lot of minutes.
4
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:21,646
Well, corporate is throwing
this gigantic, lavish,
5
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:25,108
gold-encrusted sushi gala
6
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,694
that Ryan didn't
invite any of us to.
7
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,613
All I wanna do is throw a party
8
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:34,492
that makes Ryan's party look
like Stanley and Phyllis' desk.
9
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:37,287
These are some things that
I would like to have happen.
10
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,875
- "Beer, light beer,
streamers, orchids,
11
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,918
better lighting,
something made of ice"?
12
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:44,836
- (agrees) Those
are just things.
13
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,254
This is how I want it to feel.
14
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,839
- "Pizza, pizza with mushrooms,
pizza without mushrooms,
15
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,174
white pizza, steak?"
16
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,510
- I would like this
party to be sexier,
17
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,137
cooler, more important.
18
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,014
"Chocolates, someone famous?"
19
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,182
- [Scott] Yes.
- "Cool music,
20
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,225
confetti, go-go dancers?"
21
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,895
- I want it to embarrass
all other parties.
22
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:05,357
I want it to be a party
that the guys in New York
23
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,150
watch on the webcam and say,
24
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:10,653
"Wow! How did they
get Al Roker to come?"
25
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:11,821
I can't do this.
26
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,740
- [Scott] Yes, you can.
- I can't do it!
27
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,033
Yes, you can. I know you can.
28
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,243
I wouldn't say that if I
didn't 100% believe it.
29
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,495
Who else could do this?
30
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:21,956
- Okay. Okay.
- No, seriously.
31
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,333
Is there anyone else
who could do it better?
32
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,251
Because we don't
have a lot of time.
33
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,338
I'll get the pizza!
34
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:35,553
("The Office Theme"
by Daniel Tidwell)
35
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,421
{\an8}- (whispering) What do
you think of Angela?
36
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:10,171
Jesus!
37
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,758
{\an8}I think she's efficient.
38
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,593
{\an8}No, not like that. As a woman.
39
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,889
{\an8}W-O-M-A-N.
40
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,850
{\an8}I hadn't noticed.
41
00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,518
{\an8}- You hadn't noticed
she's a woman?
42
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:28,273
{\an8}I hear she's single
and ready to mingle,
43
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,483
{\an8}and she does make me tingle.
44
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,446
{\an8}Yeah, there's just
something about her.
45
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:38,033
{\an8}All that strength and
steeliness and righteousness
46
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,367
{\an8}all wrapped up tight
47
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,828
{\an8}and shoved into a tiny
little delicate frame.
48
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,249
{\an8}I'm thinking about
making a play for her.
49
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:47,834
{\an8}What do you think? Crazy, right?
50
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:52,088
{\an8}- I think it's inappropriate
to date someone you work with.
51
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,381
{\an8}Isn't that part of the fun?
52
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,300
{\an8}- No. I think you
should date Kelly.
53
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,846
{\an8}- She works here, too.
How is that any different?
54
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,556
Uh, she works in the annex.
55
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,351
You're also welcome
to date Toby.
56
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:07,729
Okay.
57
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,192
{\an8}They say you should never
mix business with pleasure.
58
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:13,234
{\an8}Really?
59
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,819
{\an8}Well then explain to me
60
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:18,073
how a putt putt golf company
operates. (exhales sharply)
61
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:19,115
Good news!
62
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,158
We get to go home?
63
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,659
Guess who just ordered
64
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:25,413
from your favorite
pizza place, Alfredo?
65
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,247
Wait.
66
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:31,670
Alfredo's Pizza Cafe?
Or Pizza By Alfredo?
67
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:32,671
Same thing.
68
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:33,838
- No.
- You really screwed it up.
69
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:34,839
(group groans and grumbles)
70
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,299
All right, you know what?
71
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,009
I don't understand when you
all talk at the same time!
72
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,302
Oscar, talk to him.
73
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,970
- Michael, there's a
very big difference
74
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,347
between these two pizza places.
75
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:46,518
Both in quality of ingredients
and in overall taste.
76
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,687
Which one did you order from?
77
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,021
(paper rustling)
78
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:50,980
Pizza By Alfredo.
79
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,023
(group groaning)
80
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:52,982
All right, you know what?
81
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,901
Okay, okay, what is better?
82
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,487
A medium amount of good pizza,
83
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,739
or all you can eat
of pretty good pizza?
84
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,117
- [All] Medium
amount of good pizza.
85
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,952
(Michael sighs)
86
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:08,289
- Oh, no, it's
bad. It's real bad!
87
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,961
It's like eating a
hot circle of garbage.
88
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,505
(air blowing)
89
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,761
What is going on here?
90
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,888
- Angela needs me to
blow up 50 balloons
91
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,598
and find a famous person.
92
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,435
- Stanley was an extra
in "Philadelphia."
93
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,103
So, just ask him.
94
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:30,937
Really?
95
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:31,980
(Jim agrees)
96
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:32,897
- That would be
fun for everyone.
97
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:33,732
I think so.
98
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:34,607
Stanley!
99
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:36,443
What?
100
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,237
(whispering) Oh, yeah.
101
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,613
So you're gonna wanna
go through his agent.
102
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:41,990
[Pam] (whispering) Okay.
103
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,366
- (whispering) They get
very testy about that stuff.
104
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,284
- (whispering) Right.
- Angela.
105
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:45,452
What kinda music?
106
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:47,954
(papers rustling)
107
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,623
- "Something cool that Ryan
doesn't know about yet."
108
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,250
- How am I supposed
to know what that is?
109
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,752
I don't know.
110
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:56,004
But standing here's not gonna
give you the answer. Go!
111
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,800
Tonight, my party
will be broadcast out
112
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,594
to five other states.
113
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,930
Which means it will be
compared to Denise Dim's party
114
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:06,765
in Buffalo.
115
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:11,936
Any idiot can defrost a
microwavable horderves platter.
116
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:15,774
And Denise proves that with
every party she throws.
117
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,025
Oh, and Denise?
118
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,943
Stop telling people your
hair is naturally curly.
119
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,362
We all know you get perms.
120
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:26,951
- (sighs) You can pick
one of these things.
121
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,663
It's unreasonable for you
to ask me to do all of this.
122
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:31,956
- It should take
you no time at all
123
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,918
if you put the care into
it that you normally do.
124
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:38,171
(notes crumpling)
125
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,464
Ow!
126
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,924
That seemed to shut her up.
127
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:45,804
- You looking for
dinner and a movie?
128
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,348
'Cause you're not gonna
find it in that box.
129
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,019
It just so happens I know
where you can find it.
130
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:53,937
But again...
131
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:56,940
Not in the box.
132
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,571
Angela, are you hearing
words that I'm saying?
133
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,656
What?
134
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:05,490
Hello.
135
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,451
I have been working on
a party for three weeks
136
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:09,869
that just got thrown
out the window.
137
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:12,122
So now I have to pull
together a whole new party.
138
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,790
And my useless number two quit,
139
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:15,583
so now there's no one
in charge of orchids,
140
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,669
chocolates, or the thing
that's made of ice.
141
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,379
And my upper back itches,
and it's itched all day,
142
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:20,630
and I can't reach it.
143
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:22,716
And Kevin had Greek
food for lunch again!
144
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:30,181
- No. I will not be playing
it cool with Angela.
145
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,224
Let me tell you a little story.
146
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,517
When I was seventeen,
147
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,144
I was wait listed at
my number one school.
148
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,478
Even though I was a legacy
149
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,647
and I like a thousand
extra curriculars.
150
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,942
Mostly drama, madrigals,
barbershop club...
151
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:45,530
I was wait listed. Did I wait
on that list? No I did not.
152
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,449
I busted into the
admissions office
153
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,909
and I (singing) sang
them the reasons
154
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,871
they should admit
me to the school!
155
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:57,083
And guess what? I got in!
156
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,045
And here's the kicker.
157
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:00,962
That school?
158
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:03,465
Cornell.
159
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:09,054
(computer mouse clicking)
160
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,057
- Cop pulled me over
for driving too slow.
161
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,059
She caught up to me on her bike.
162
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,935
Not a motorcycle, a bicycle.
163
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,606
(sighs) As she
kept pointing out.
164
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:20,440
Damn it!
165
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,318
Is that traffic school?
166
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,778
[Toby] Yeah.
167
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,404
- Because we're not supposed
to be doing personal stuff
168
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,322
at work.
169
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:28,782
[Toby] Yeah.
170
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,575
- Because yesterday, when I
was taking the online quiz
171
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,702
about trying to find my
ideal weight for my frame,
172
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,037
you said that
wasn't appropriate.
173
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,747
I remember.
174
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,459
- [Kelly] Just reiterating
what you said to me.
175
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,086
Thanks, Kelly.
176
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:44,923
- The lady cop acted like
she never pulled someone over
177
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,966
for driving too slow.
178
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,426
I tried to get out of it
179
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,471
with the famous "Toby Flenderson
Ten Thousand-Watt Smile."
180
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,058
It didn't work.
181
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:59,062
(phone ringing)
182
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,231
Yup?
183
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:02,565
- [Pam] The Pizza By
Alfredo guy is here.
184
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,234
- You don't have to
say it like that.
185
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,485
[Pam] I said it normal.
186
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,199
[Scott] Hey!
187
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,660
- Hey. $63.50, and
that's not including tip.
188
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,828
Right.
189
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,955
I have a coupon,
so half of $63.50
190
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,207
and half the tip on
$63.50 would make it...
191
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,960
- Half-off coupons only apply
to orders of two pizzas.
192
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,378
Yeah, no.
193
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,005
I told them on the phone I
was ordering eight pizzas.
194
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,339
- I don't care you
told them on the phone,
195
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,549
that's our policy.
196
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,592
You didn't actually think
197
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,011
that I was going to
spend 60 bucks on pizza?
198
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,637
- [Kevin] It's not pizza!
- Okay.
199
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,306
It doesn't say it
anywhere on the coupon,
200
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,101
and if it's your policy, it
should say it on the coupon.
201
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,229
What do you mean? (grunts)
202
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,313
Not my problem.
203
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,523
It is your problem.
204
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:47,068
That's no way to
do business, okay?
205
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,864
I ordered eight pizzas
with a half-off coupon,
206
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,366
so I would like eight
pizzas for half-off.
207
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,367
End of story.
208
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:55,618
It's a great story.
209
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,204
It's $63.50, and that's
not including tip.
210
00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,748
I'm not giving that to you.
211
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,167
- Well, then you're not
getting your pizzas.
212
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,335
No. No! You're not, no!
213
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,962
You are not going anywhere!
214
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:09,257
You're going to stay here
until we figure this out!
215
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,133
What?
216
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:10,967
You know what?
217
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,844
This young man needs to learn
218
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,721
that that's not how
you treat people!
219
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,349
I don't care if it's pizza!
220
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,560
Good business is about
respect and accountability
221
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:21,728
and follow-through.
222
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,396
You don't just make promises
223
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:26,691
and pull the rug out from
under somebody, do you?
224
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,360
Dwight, please
escort this young man
225
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,486
into the conference room.
226
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:30,695
Right now! Get into
the conference room.
227
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,155
I'm not going in there!
228
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:33,531
- Yeah, you are! Yeah, you are!
And you will come out
229
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,283
when you decide to give me
a discount on the pizza.
230
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,242
Please. Thank you!
231
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,953
This is stupid.
232
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,289
- No! You don't even
know what stupid is!
233
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,001
It's about to get all
stupid up in here!
234
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,685
You find anything?
235
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,771
- We think it's a
straightforward kidnapping.
236
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,481
- Stanley, could you
look up accomplices?
237
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,066
Why can't you guys do it?
238
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,443
- Because we're
looking up jail time.
239
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,236
Fine.
240
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:15,990
- "Kidnapping is the
asportation of a person
241
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,284
against the person's will."
242
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,327
What?
243
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,705
So Michael 'asported' him.
244
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:26,501
I've seen this kid before.
245
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:27,752
He's one of the kids
that sneaks onto my farm
246
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,170
and steals my hemp.
247
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,505
Yeah, I know that guy.
248
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,716
He's that farmer that
grows really crappy weed.
249
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,807
(paper rustling)
250
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,559
- You ready to give
me my discount now?
251
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,685
No.
252
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:44,936
(inhales sharply) Okay.
253
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,062
What have you been doing
in here this whole time?
254
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,564
What kind of business is this?
255
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,107
We're a paper company.
256
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,067
The best paper company in
the whole wide world, okay?
257
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,736
Alright. Dwight, knock it off.
258
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,864
You'd better think about what
you are doing, young man.
259
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,449
- You better think
about what you're doing.
260
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:02,328
- No! I'm an adult. I don't
have to think or do anything!
261
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:03,580
You're a kid.
262
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,415
You're a little,
snot-nosed punk kid
263
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,751
who thinks he's better
than everybody else,
264
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,210
because he's some hotshot.
265
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,755
And you don't know
anything about sales!
266
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,590
So stop being a disrespectful
little jerk, okay?
267
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:14,799
Sales?
268
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,134
Yes, sales. You sell pizza.
269
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,552
Last time I checked,
that's called sales.
270
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:18,553
You're such a loser.
271
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:19,721
What did you just call him?!
272
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:20,555
A loser.
273
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:21,681
What did you say?!
274
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:22,974
- [Pizza Guy] A loser.
- What?
275
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,184
- [Pizza Guy] A loser.
- What was that word?
276
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,311
- Okay, stop. Stop. Stop
getting him to say it!
277
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,396
You just made this
worse. A whole lot worse.
278
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:29,522
I can make him talk, Michael.
279
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,565
I don't know.
280
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,233
- [Dwight] Michael!
- [Pam] Michael!
281
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,693
- I'm not going to jail again.
- [Stanley] We are accomplices.
282
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:34,736
- [Michael] Stop
talking all at once!
283
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:35,653
You need to let him go.
284
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,946
Let go of little jerk boy?
285
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,656
Before he has
learned his lesson?
286
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,158
- Yes.
- You know what, Jim?
287
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,285
The world would
be a better place
288
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:44,245
if the world were held
accountable for their actions.
289
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,081
- Yes, but not by
kidnapping them.
290
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,582
I'm not kidnapping him.
291
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,793
I'm keeping him until
I get what I want.
292
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,419
As a hostage.
293
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,754
- I think you're
overthinking it.
294
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,589
- (whispering) I think
you're under thinking it.
295
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:55,465
Yes! Is Alfredo there?
296
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,051
May I speak to a manager, then.
297
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,929
Okay, can you tell the manager
298
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,181
that I am keeping
his delivery kid
299
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,934
until I get my discount on
the eight pizzas I ordered?
300
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:08,395
Yes, I know it is
not on the coupon.
301
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:13,441
Also, I would him
to throw in two...
302
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,569
Three pizzas, um,
303
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:17,779
Just for our...
304
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:18,947
- Ransom.
- Trouble.
305
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,118
Okay. Alright.
306
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:25,537
(phone clattering)
307
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,413
What'd he say?
308
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:27,706
He said no.
309
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:28,957
- So we should let him go.
- No. No.
310
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:30,875
[Jim] (whispering) Okay.
311
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,587
(computer mouse clicking)
312
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:36,047
(Toby sighing)
313
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,299
- How to describe
Toby's driving...
314
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:43,680
Imagine the movie "The Fast
and the Furious?" Right.
315
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:46,933
Imagine you're on your way
to the theater to see it,
316
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,935
and there's a guy in a Subaru
317
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,979
in front of you going
17 miles per hour.
318
00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,398
He won't let you pass
him, has his hazards on.
319
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,443
Also, he's sweating
profusely. That's Toby.
320
00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,696
You know the octagon
sign means stop.
321
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:00,530
Colorblind.
322
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:06,036
- An octagon is a shape. You
can see shapes, can't you?
323
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:11,541
- It's out of context. This
is not the same as driving.
324
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,002
- You know how your grandmother
wants to keep driving
325
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:15,879
her car to assert
her independence
326
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,922
but she's the worst driver ever?
327
00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:20,759
That's Toby.
328
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,220
Except my grandmother is a
little better driver than that.
329
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,348
Listen up, kid!
330
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,391
(balloon pops)
331
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:29,851
I don't like you.
332
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,771
But because some town
in Switzerland says so,
333
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,356
you have rights.
334
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:35,732
You will be fed.
335
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:37,525
You will be given a bathroom
break every third hour.
336
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:40,236
And you will be given the
opportunity to exercise.
337
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,947
(door knocking)
338
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,076
I have to hang these.
339
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,127
- Why are you looking
at her like that?
340
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:56,961
Hey!
341
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,593
(door slamming)
342
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:09,724
What's going on?
343
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:10,725
- Michael just called
the pizza place
344
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:11,976
with a list of demands.
345
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,395
- Mr. Overdramatic.
What's up, Kevin?
346
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,188
- We're getting
hungry out there.
347
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,316
- We're all
accomplices now anyway,
348
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,402
so we figured we
might as well eat.
349
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,697
We would like to
order some good pizza,
350
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:26,783
from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe,
351
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,702
while we wait for
the hostage situation
352
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,870
with the bad pizza to end.
353
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:33,164
In every good hostage movie
354
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,333
during the part where
it gets really tense
355
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,419
and you don't know
whether the bad guys
356
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,963
are going to let the
hostages go free,
357
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:44,134
the cops order pizza.
358
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:49,931
I needed another hour.
359
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:51,433
It could have been
done in another hour.
360
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,642
I think it looks good.
361
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,979
- That's why you're not
in charge, Meredith.
362
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:04,154
- Here you are, my dear.
One thing made of ice.
363
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:07,991
How did you...
364
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,244
Where'd you...
365
00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:13,621
- It's just ice. It'll
melt all over the floor.
366
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,040
- Will you help me
put it over there?
367
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:15,999
[Andy] Yes, I will.
368
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:17,584
- Okay.
- Excuse me.
369
00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:20,295
(whispering) I stole it.
370
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:24,591
(people chattering)
371
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:25,842
Thank God.
372
00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:27,135
Michael?
373
00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:29,054
Ryan wants to introduce
the branch managers
374
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,347
in a few minutes.
375
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,057
You just have to wave
and introduce yourself.
376
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,309
- I'll just wave and
introduce myself.
377
00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:37,062
- Hey. Quick question.
- Yeah?
378
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,938
If I take a pizza,
379
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,899
do you think you
could take some sodas
380
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,859
and some napkins up to the roof?
381
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:43,651
I'm all over it.
382
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:44,486
Oh good!
383
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:46,529
What do we got here?
384
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,074
- Good pizza.
- Yeah?
385
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,159
Cheese? Or do we
have other flavors?
386
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:52,202
Different stuff.
387
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,703
Which one is this? Perfect.
388
00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:59,626
A toast! I'm gonna make it good.
389
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,631
To avoiding a class-two
felony charge.
390
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:07,217
(Pam giggles)
391
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,685
Do you remember what you said
to me on my first day at work,
392
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,520
just before you walked
me over to my desk?
393
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:19,396
Yeah.
394
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:23,358
"Enjoy this moment, because
you're never going to go back
395
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,069
to this time before you met
your desk mate, Dwight."
396
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:30,156
And that's why I knew. You?
397
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:32,701
- You came up to my
desk and you said,
398
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,119
"This might sound weird,
399
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,747
and there's no reason
for me to know this,
400
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,040
but that mixed-berry yogurt
401
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:40,750
you're about to
eat has expired."
402
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,044
- That was the moment that
you knew you liked me?
403
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:44,379
Yup.
404
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:45,213
Wow.
405
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,883
Can we make it a
different moment?
406
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:49,676
- Nope.
- Oh.
407
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:55,557
- Can I start talking?
Is this thing on?
408
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,351
Give me a signal when
you want me to start.
409
00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:04,190
- And now from my old hometown,
Scranton, Pennsylvania,
410
00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:06,776
my former boss, Michael Scott.
411
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,404
- Hey, I just think
you should know
412
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:12,032
that one of my salesmen
beat your stupid computer.
413
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,366
So take that, (censored)!
414
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:17,620
Always a jokester.
415
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:22,625
How about that
image? Crystal clear.
416
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,503
- If anyone out
there is listening,
417
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,006
I am being held here
against my will.
418
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,257
(whispering) I'm a minor.
419
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,597
Ow! What are you doing?
420
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,515
- You said your
upper back itched.
421
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,142
- I didn't ask
you to scratch it.
422
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,643
Look, Angela.
423
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,270
I know this is weird
because we work together,
424
00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:44,064
and because up until, and
possibly including now,
425
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,398
I've repulsed you.
426
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,776
(inhales sharply)
But I like you.
427
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:48,818
I'm not dating you.
428
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,282
- So Angela is
stubborn as a mule.
429
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,078
She's giving off
fairly strong vibes
430
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,205
that she's not interested.
431
00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:05,752
But do I like her or not?
432
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:11,549
Because if I like her,
then I can't back down.
433
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:16,471
- If you're going number one,
you've got 10 more seconds!
434
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:26,898
Hey! (whispering) The way I
see it, it's getting late.
435
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,484
And the only thing standing
between you and a warm bed
436
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:31,444
is my friend's pizza discount.
437
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,530
So, what do you say?
438
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,325
Oh, so that's how
it's going to be.
439
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:41,705
Well, I can stay here
all night if I have to.
440
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:42,997
I've done it before.
441
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,249
I'm not scared of you.
442
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:48,837
(streamer flapping)
443
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,547
(Pizza Guy sighing)
444
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:52,465
- (sighs) Hey,
have you seen Jim?
445
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:53,842
- I guess he wanted
to get out of here
446
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,343
before the cops find out.
447
00:18:57,721 --> 00:18:58,555
(Michael sighs)
448
00:18:58,596 --> 00:18:59,389
(Dwight yelling)
449
00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:00,974
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
450
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:01,850
What are you doing?!
451
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,059
I'm just scaring him.
452
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,310
Now the trick is
to make him think
453
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:05,270
you're gonna do
something to him.
454
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,563
I can hear you, man.
455
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,189
- Shut up, or I'm gonna
punch you in the throat!
456
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,691
- Hey, hey, hey,
stop it. Stop it!
457
00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:11,609
No. God. Oh my God!
458
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:16,281
Oh my God. Oh, no. No. (gasps)
459
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,534
(whispering) I kidnapped a kid!
460
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:22,203
- (whispering) You had to.
What other choice did you have?
461
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,706
- (whispering) I could
have paid for the pizza.
462
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:26,624
Well, yeah.
463
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,336
Want me to get him to not talk?
464
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:32,088
- (whispering) No. Worse,
worse, you're making it worse.
465
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:33,715
Oh my God.
466
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,386
Is there anyway you
can get him to not talk
467
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:40,055
without making it worse?
468
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,306
I don't think so, no.
469
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:47,020
(sighs) Oh my God. Oh my God.
470
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:51,358
He's seen our faces.
471
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,901
We should have blindfolded
him when he first came in-
472
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:56,154
- How does that help?! How
does that help, Dwight?
473
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,907
(phone ringing)
474
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,075
This is Michael.
475
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,409
- [Ryan] Hello,
Michael. This is Ryan.
476
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:02,702
First off, thanks
for the shout out.
477
00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,496
- You're breaking
up. I can't hear you.
478
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,581
- [Ryan] And why is there
a kid on your webcam
479
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,333
saying that he's being
held against his-
480
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,043
Mm 'kay.
481
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:14,631
I want you to go in there
482
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:18,635
and pay him for the pizzas
and give him a generous tip,
483
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:20,970
no more than 10%.
484
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:22,389
What will you do?
485
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:25,308
- (whispering) I
will open the door.
486
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,726
(whispering) Yeah.
487
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,978
- (whispering) And
hopefully he will walk out.
488
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,483
(whispering) And the
rest is out of our hands.
489
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:37,821
So I'm paying full price?
490
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:38,947
[Michael] (whispering) Yes.
491
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:43,493
- Here you go,
65. You know what?
492
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:45,495
Here's two more.
493
00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:52,627
See ya. Drive safely.
494
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:56,381
Okay.
495
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,008
(inhales sharply) Now what?
496
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:01,553
- Now we wait and hope
that nothing happens.
497
00:21:03,138 --> 00:21:04,556
Alright.
498
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,016
Oh, I assume I'm going to be
reimbursed for the pizzas?
499
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,934
- (whispering) Not now,
Dwight. Please, not the time.
500
00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:13,231
- I was a little buzzed,
but I knew what I was doing.
501
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,315
(Jim disagrees)
502
00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:15,900
You looked so surprised!
503
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,486
- Yeah, I didn't know you
were gonna kiss me that night!
504
00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:20,071
One needs to prepare
for these things.
505
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,574
(Pam laughs)
506
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:26,995
- What did you write
on the Christmas card?
507
00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:28,455
What's that?
508
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:29,873
- When I got the
teapot from Dwight,
509
00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,750
there was a card
which I put on my desk
510
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,127
and after you came up to
talk to me, it was gone.
511
00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,547
I don't, uh...
512
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,759
What? Why won't you tell me!
513
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,886
I'm with you now. You got me.
514
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,140
Will you tell me some day?
515
00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:50,518
No. I won't.
516
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,021
(Pam groans)
517
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:56,900
This is nice.
518
00:21:59,569 --> 00:22:01,571
- All we're missing
now is the fireworks.
519
00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:08,370
(Pam giggles)
520
00:22:08,411 --> 00:22:10,622
Dwight and Kevin were lighting
them off in the parking lot.
521
00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:12,916
What are you talking about?
522
00:22:14,292 --> 00:22:16,419
- The last time we were
up here on our first date.
523
00:22:16,461 --> 00:22:19,714
Yes, that's what it was,
our first real date.
524
00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:21,591
They were lighting fireworks.
525
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:26,054
Very funny.
526
00:22:26,096 --> 00:22:26,763
(Jim laughs)
527
00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:27,972
We were on the roof
528
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:30,975
and Dwight and Kevin
were lighting fireworks?
529
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:33,728
- Yeah! It was right after
we read Michael's screenplay.
530
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:36,272
- Oh, I remember that!
Agent Michael Scarn.
531
00:22:36,314 --> 00:22:37,190
Right.
532
00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:38,233
(Pam giggles)
533
00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:39,317
And then we came
up and ate dinner.
534
00:22:40,902 --> 00:22:42,737
- Jim, I don't want to take
this memory away from you.
535
00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:44,114
It sounds so lovely.
536
00:22:45,657 --> 00:22:49,577
- Yeah right. There's no
way you don't remember that!
537
00:22:49,619 --> 00:22:51,454
- Okay, I'm going
to say something
538
00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:53,248
and I don't want
you to get upset.
539
00:22:53,832 --> 00:22:56,209
Are you sure you weren't
up here with someone else?
540
00:22:56,251 --> 00:22:58,253
Like, Karen maybe?
541
00:22:58,294 --> 00:22:59,671
Karen? No!
542
00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:02,424
- Or Katie?
- Katie?!
543
00:23:02,465 --> 00:23:04,718
Pam, you have to remember this.
544
00:23:04,759 --> 00:23:06,803
It bought me hope for
like another year.
545
00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:11,307
(keyboard clicking)
546
00:23:11,349 --> 00:23:12,142
Yeah!
547
00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:17,856
(phone ringing)
548
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:20,650
Hello? Hey. Hang on a second.
549
00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:26,781
(phone ringing)
550
00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:29,367
Hello? Hang on.
551
00:23:32,287 --> 00:23:35,123
(phone clattering)
552
00:23:40,670 --> 00:23:44,466
* If you change your mind *
553
00:23:44,507 --> 00:23:46,718
* I'll be first in line *
554
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,179
* Honey I'm still free *
555
00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:51,473
* Take chance on me *
556
00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:53,808
* If you need me let me know *
557
00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:55,810
* Going to be around *
558
00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:57,979
* If you got no place to go *
559
00:23:58,021 --> 00:24:00,607
* If you're feeling down *
560
00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:02,984
* If you're all alone *
561
00:24:03,026 --> 00:24:05,487
* When the pretty
birds have flown *
562
00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:07,614
* Honey I'm still free *
563
00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:10,033
* Take a chance on me *
564
00:24:10,075 --> 00:24:12,494
* Gonna do my very best *
565
00:24:12,535 --> 00:24:14,621
* And that ain't no lie *
566
00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:16,748
* If you put me to the test *
567
00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:19,000
* If you let me try *
568
00:24:19,042 --> 00:24:22,212
* Take a chance on me *
569
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:25,674
That's all I ask of you, Angela.
570
00:24:25,715 --> 00:24:27,258
Take a chance!
571
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:29,052
- [Phone 1] Take a chance!
- [Phone 2] Take a chance!
572
00:24:29,094 --> 00:24:30,303
Take a chance!
573
00:24:32,847 --> 00:24:37,894
[All] (harmonizing) On me!
574
00:24:52,784 --> 00:24:54,035
[Phone 1] Hey, how'd it go?
575
00:24:54,077 --> 00:24:55,328
- [Phone 2] Yeah.
What did she say?
576
00:24:55,370 --> 00:24:57,163
- I don't know yet. I
have to call you back.
577
00:24:57,205 --> 00:24:58,540
- [Phone 2] You gotta
give us something-
578
00:24:58,581 --> 00:24:59,582
I'll call you back!
579
00:24:59,624 --> 00:25:02,252
(buttons clicking)
580
00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:04,337
- I have to go clean
up after the party.
581
00:25:18,768 --> 00:25:22,230
(door knocking)
582
00:25:22,272 --> 00:25:23,815
What a horrible day.
583
00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:29,029
(Dwight and Michael groan)
584
00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:31,614
Well, I need to get the
horrible taste of this pizza
585
00:25:31,656 --> 00:25:32,782
out of my mouth.
586
00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:35,493
I'd really like some sushi.
587
00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:39,789
I was hoping that I would have
New York-style sushi today.
588
00:25:39,831 --> 00:25:40,832
And you know what?
589
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,376
- What?
- I'm gonna get it.
590
00:25:44,461 --> 00:25:45,837
Coopers has calamari.
591
00:25:45,879 --> 00:25:47,422
(disagrees) No.
592
00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:49,257
There's only one place to
get authentic New York-style
593
00:25:49,299 --> 00:25:50,258
sushi.
594
00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:52,260
- Tokyo?
- New York.
595
00:25:52,302 --> 00:25:53,720
- You wanna go?
- Yes.
596
00:25:53,762 --> 00:25:56,097
- Alright. You drive.
- Okay!
597
00:25:56,139 --> 00:25:57,849
There were grilled cheeses?
598
00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:01,394
I made them down in the kitchen?
599
00:26:01,436 --> 00:26:02,270
I found a tomato-
600
00:26:02,312 --> 00:26:03,146
Hold on!
601
00:26:04,773 --> 00:26:06,524
I remember the tomato!
602
00:26:08,860 --> 00:26:10,403
You suck!
603
00:26:10,445 --> 00:26:12,489
- (laughs) Tell me what
was on the Christmas card.
604
00:26:12,530 --> 00:26:13,865
Not now. Certainly not now!
605
00:26:13,907 --> 00:26:15,408
- I'm gonna find out.
- Never!
606
00:26:16,659 --> 00:26:17,869
Do you still have it?
607
00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:26,836
You know what?
608
00:26:26,878 --> 00:26:29,464
This party doesn't look
like it was all that great.
609
00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:31,800
It does not! Check that out.
610
00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:33,426
- [Dwight] Nice.
- [Scott] Here we go.
611
00:26:33,468 --> 00:26:34,678
- Woo-hoo!
612
00:26:34,719 --> 00:26:36,471
(Michael and Dwight
moan in satisfaction)
613
00:26:36,513 --> 00:26:39,140
- I'm sorry. You guys are
going to have to leave.
614
00:26:39,974 --> 00:26:41,518
(muffled) Hey! You know what?
615
00:26:45,897 --> 00:26:47,857
(muffled) Come on,
come on. Let's go!
616
00:26:53,029 --> 00:26:55,615
(cars honking)
617
00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:57,283
Hey, you're the Scranton guy?
618
00:26:58,535 --> 00:26:59,703
Guilty!
619
00:26:59,744 --> 00:27:01,621
- (laughs) I liked
your statement tonight.
620
00:27:01,663 --> 00:27:02,914
Oh. Thanks.
621
00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,876
This is the guy that
beat the computer.
622
00:27:06,918 --> 00:27:08,336
Oh, very cool.
623
00:27:08,378 --> 00:27:09,879
Yeah, it was funny to see
Ryan all embarrassed by that.
624
00:27:09,921 --> 00:27:12,340
(men laughing)
625
00:27:12,382 --> 00:27:13,133
See you later!
626
00:27:14,551 --> 00:27:15,969
Later on!
627
00:27:16,011 --> 00:27:17,512
(Michael laughs)
628
00:27:17,554 --> 00:27:19,014
(mimicking Ryan) I'm Ryan,
629
00:27:19,055 --> 00:27:21,891
and tonight didn't go the
way that I thought it would
630
00:27:23,059 --> 00:27:25,270
because it didn't
work out for me
631
00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:29,274
and I'm very embarrassed and
I have egg all over my face.
632
00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:32,027
- (mimicking Ryan) And I
spent so much time in Scranton
633
00:27:32,068 --> 00:27:33,737
but I never any sold any paper.
634
00:27:33,778 --> 00:27:35,530
- (mimicking Ryan) I
never sold any paper
635
00:27:35,572 --> 00:27:37,157
because I'm an idiot.
636
00:27:37,198 --> 00:27:38,825
- (mimicking Ryan) I started
a fire with my cheese pita.
637
00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:40,577
I dated an Indian girl.
638
00:27:40,618 --> 00:27:42,495
(Michael and Dwight laughing)
639
00:27:42,537 --> 00:27:44,289
- (mimicking Ryan) I started
a fire. I started a fire.
640
00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:46,124
- (mimicking Ryan)
And now I got a beard.
641
00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:47,667
- (mimicking Ryan) And
I get everything I want.
642
00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:50,086
- (mimicking Ryan) And I got
a new suit. And I'm your boss.
643
00:27:50,128 --> 00:27:51,546
- (mimicking Ryan) Because
I'm hot. I'm so hot.
644
00:27:51,588 --> 00:27:53,548
That's why everybody... - I
don't, I don't get...
645
00:27:53,590 --> 00:27:54,883
I don't understand that.
646
00:27:54,924 --> 00:27:56,092
- Well, it's part of
it. It's just stuff.
647
00:27:57,260 --> 00:27:59,929
(Michael groans)
648
00:28:05,727 --> 00:28:08,396
(Michael sighs)
649
00:28:13,735 --> 00:28:15,111
Wanna head back?
650
00:28:16,279 --> 00:28:17,405
(whispering) Yeah, let's go.
651
00:28:27,332 --> 00:28:29,959
(car starting)
652
00:28:38,510 --> 00:28:40,303
You know, it goes along
with Ryan's launch.
653
00:28:40,345 --> 00:28:41,971
His 'Infinity Campaign?'
654
00:28:42,013 --> 00:28:46,059
So theme of the party
is infinity, I made
infinity cookies.
655
00:28:46,101 --> 00:28:47,602
They are delicious.
656
00:28:47,644 --> 00:28:49,562
I took candles that
were the figure-eight
657
00:28:49,604 --> 00:28:51,314
and turned them on their side
658
00:28:51,356 --> 00:28:53,775
so that they formed
infinity symbols.
659
00:28:53,817 --> 00:28:56,152
Kevin came back in
and set them all up.
660
00:28:56,194 --> 00:28:58,321
I put them on their side again.
661
00:28:58,363 --> 00:29:01,408
I am going to make sure that
no one forgets this party.
662
00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:03,660
That it will live
on in infinity.
663
00:29:04,994 --> 00:29:07,706
A lot of guys say they want
something to hold on to.
664
00:29:09,165 --> 00:29:10,458
But I don't get that.
665
00:29:11,835 --> 00:29:13,503
I mean, what kind of
speed are we talking about
666
00:29:13,545 --> 00:29:16,297
where I'd actually need
to hold on to something?
667
00:29:16,339 --> 00:29:18,258
A lot of guys say "the
bigger the cushion,
668
00:29:18,299 --> 00:29:19,759
the better the pushin'."
669
00:29:20,969 --> 00:29:22,470
I've modified that phrase:
670
00:29:23,888 --> 00:29:26,599
"The smaller the cushion,
the better the pushin'."
671
00:29:27,767 --> 00:29:30,145
Women come in all
shapes and sizes,
672
00:29:30,186 --> 00:29:32,605
but we had an old
saying in my fraternity:
673
00:29:32,647 --> 00:29:37,360
"It's good to have
sex!" So... (laughs)
674
00:29:37,402 --> 00:29:40,488
(upbeat rave music)
675
00:29:46,202 --> 00:29:50,707
("The Office Theme"
by Daniel Tidwell)
45458
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