Original subtitles

About a thousand.

All right. Thank you, golfer. Thank you, Ryan.

Come pledge your goal, guys.

We're going to start in less than one minute. One minute on a beautiful

We're not on tomorrow, so I'll be watching my beloved Washington Nationals

the Dodgers.

So I'll not be here tomorrow. I'll be at the baseball game.

Yeah. Thank you, Jersey Pucks. I appreciate you watching my shows. This

first time ever. Of course it's nice.

What would you be?

Thank you, Max Pujol.

Thank you, Thomas33.

You can see everything in one minute.

What? I think the innocence is up front, though.

She's front and... Do I know?

I leave two weeks from today for Europe.

Yeah, two weeks from today I leave for Europe.

I'm going to leave in ten and in nine.

And an eight.

And a seven.

And a six. Thank you, closer.

Thank you, derailer.

And five.

And four.

Thank you, little pup. And three.

And two.

And bingo was the doggie's name.

Thank you,

peanut.

Hi.

Jedi Pip. I like that name, Jedi Pip. That's a pretty cool name.

Thank you, Grady.

That is a cool name.

I'm with you, Eddie. She is spectacular. She's so spectacular.

I've booked her twice off of pictures, which I do not do.

Really? Wow.

No way.

Thank you, BBB.

Thank you, Spoke Cam.

No, Dean, not tonight.

Thank you, big nine, big, little, little, little, big nine inch.

Thank you, Grady.

You look

absolutely

adorable.

Thank you.

How tall are you? Good question.

Um, I'm 5 '5". Really?

Yes.

You seem taller.

Do I?

Taller, father?

You seem to weigh in. Yeah, but you don't know.

We'll start in a few minutes, guys.

She is a spinner.

You know what I mean?

Spinner is your small, big teeth.

Oh, okay. I got it.

What's the biggest dick you've taken?

Probably J -Mac.

J -Mac?

Yeah. He's a male talent.

So you ready for your first live show?

What? You ready for your first live show?

Kind of nervous, but yeah.

Thank you, Texas, for your gold.

We're starting in a couple of minutes, guys. In a couple of minutes, we'll

start.

Feel free to ask them questions.

You guys can ask me anything.

So we'll ask you what this is.

I don't know. I think it's just like my clip being played with, definitely.

Oh. Yeah.

Well, you're going to get a lot of that tonight.

Yeah, I know, because I'll go crazy today. What happened?

I had the white ones.

White.

The white ones. I've actually never used the Hitachi, so it's my first time.

No. I will go. That's my favorite.

Put the cup back on. We can do a cheer.

We're going to do a cheer?

Yeah. What kind of cheer? Whatever cheer you want to do. I don't know any

cheers. Does she do? Everyone knows cheers.

No, I don't.

No? No.

Try and think of something.

Put the top on. We'll think together.

We'll be a team.

What can I say?

You can say whatever you like.

Just improvise. It's like freestyle rapping, but totally different. I can't

freestyle rap.

You did extra work. You acted.

Yeah, but it's different.

Improv. That is so different.

We can do it.

Huh? There you go.

She's never used a Hitachi before.

All brand new. All brand new.

Whole new world.

Want to do this?

Let's do it. Five, four, three, two.

It's a blessed and glorious day for I am joined with this brand new

Absolutely adorable porn girl.

You're cute as can be.

You're not pretty, are you?

I'm maybe.

I mean, you get told you're pretty, like, all the time by, like, random

Yeah. Do you believe them?

I think that everything's an opinion.

No, you're one of the prettiest girls. You're one of the prettiest girls in

porn. I mean, that's what I'm saying. I booked her twice off of pictures.

Anyway,

you adorable little cheerleader girl.

I want you to try and give me.

your best cheer, you can cheer about anything at all, what are your favorite

things in life?

Oh, um, my favorite things in life? Yeah.

Um,

my favorite things in life are, um, music.

Writing. Writing?

Yeah. Okay.

And... Hmm.

And... I don't know.

I don't know.

Why don't you give me a cheer about writing?

How can I give you a cheer about writing?

You know I can make up shit all day.

I'm good.

Can you give me a cheer about getting footballed?

How about just give me something, just give me a happy cheer.

Want me to do it for you?

Yes. 8, 4, 6, 2, I love sex, so do you. Fuck me here, fuck me there, get me in

the booty hole.

What?

You was on a roll for a minute. I could go for hours.

How about we do the chair after?

Okay. We'll do a chair after. Yes. All right, we'll do a chair after. All

let's put that down.

Put that as a problem puzzle. We'll do a chair after.

All right.

Hands on your back.

If there is one.

Do you want me to thank you?

Yeah. For you, don't you?

She likes it rough.

Thank

you,

little one.

I love you. I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Thank you for speaking with us.

Look at that.

Look at your lips.

Ready for this?

No.

Hold this on your clit, okay?

How does that magic wand feel for the first time?

You ever felt anything like that before?

No. Can you make a little pussy come like that for me?

Why don't you make a little pussy come?

Yeah.

Here we go.

Yeah,

come hard, baby girl.

Come on, baby.

Come on, my dear. Just like this, little baby.

You like that feeling, don't you?

Yeah. Keep coming on that dick.

It's hard.

Take a break

from it? Yeah.

You ever come that hard before?

Never? No. In your whole life?

No. Never come that hard?

No.

Do you come during sex always?

Sometimes. It depends.

But that was good.

Yeah.

What does it feel like to people at home?

What? What does it feel like when you come like that?

Oh my God, I can't move.

It's amazing.

uh yeah do you lose control i mean i can just take you up julie yeah

I think you're rough, aren't you, too?

Yeah.

Guess what?

She's telling the truth. Yeah.

Can you see?

Holy mackerel.

What do you guys want to ask her? I'm taking a 20 -minute break. This is

I don't want to kill her.

ever shooting live.

First time ever.

Yeah.

Forever together.

You big boy. In four, in three, in two, straight out of Compton. Tinder.

I'll best believe I'm looking at that tonight.

Huh? Oh, I know that.

You know he realized you ruined him. He's gonna be on there fucking like...

did I leave for Europe with you? We don't even talk to each other. You just

don't use Tinder?

No, I don't do anything.

Like I said, I've never been on a date with a non -porn girl in five years.

five. Probably ten years.

Yeah.

I'm a porn company.

She will also take off the top of her head.

We'll start in three minutes. Let me retweet everything.

You got it.

You want to do a

cheer now?

What kind of cheer would I do?

You want to do a cheer or no?

No, I don't know what cheer to do.

No? Not feeling it?

She might not like to cheer.

But you are one of the cutest goddamn teens I've ever seen in my life.

Let me get these perfect... Let me get these perfect... Oh,

those nice ass ears.

I can't believe you're in a fucking tent.

You stole me.

Damn, I'm such a sex toy.

How do you like that?

One more for Juan?

One more for Juan?

One more for Juan?

There you go. Oh, yeah.

Make me happy, Father.

Oh, well. There you go.

Five, four, three.

Damn, he's cute as hell.

Oh my God.

Right here.

Sit on it. Sit right on it.

Face me. Oh, face you.

Who knows the worst?

Oh.

Yes.

I'll be like... What's that?

I love

you.

Make a little pussy come on my dick.

Make that little teenage pussy come on my dick.

That's it, come.

How does that feel?

Good. Put it back on.

Put it back on.

Put it back on.

Keep going, keep going.

Keep going, keep going.

Keep going.

Oh, my God.

Yes,

baby.

Amen.

Fuck you, pussy.

I am.

Do you feel good in a little bit, pussy? Mm -hmm.

Okay, try doing that, you pussy goodness.

Oh, my God.

Come again.

Don't stop coming, okay?

Just come where you've ever come tonight. Can you do that for me?

Keep coming, baby.

Keep coming.

Keep coming. Keep coming. Oh, my God. Keep coming.

We have hope.

You little pussy.

Love your Claire.

You're such a beautiful girl.

She gets some soda.

Get some soda for a second.

I'll pour. I'll get it. You don't have to. You don't have to.

Didn't tell.

That's definitely cute, Kito.

Very, very pretty.

What a red cup.

What? What a red cup.

I don't know. I bet you got it in your hand.

Oh, yeah?

Mm -hmm.

Is there some reason I thought it was blue earlier?

She's dick drunk right now.

I'm not drinking Coca -Cola.

Drinking Pepsi is different.

How

messed

up is my hair?

Is it messed up?

You can tell you got fucked.

Green without food color?

I don't know about that.

He said that. I went to the Coca -Cola Museum. They didn't say that.

It would be interesting to pull that up on YouTube or something.

I think

three different things. Just one, two blowjobs, and just

regular boy and girl. Damn.

Jesus Christ.

Did yeah booked every day right here, yeah

Busy

Look at those eyes. Jesus Christ.

Five -time world champion? Shit.

Way more than five -time world champion, son.

I'll give you a woo, I'll fuck her from behind.

Hold her hair in pigtails?

I guess I could.

No, I don't want to mess her hair up.

Sorry.

All right.

She just lay there. You just lay there.

With my drink.

You lay.

I'll do everything.

Kevin, you aren't going.

You lay down.

You do everything.

Jesus Christ.

What's up, baby?

He's your favorite?

She's your favorite, Ric Flair?

Glad I booked her again.

We can start my film with this little one.

How are you?

Handcuffs, is this it?

Huh? Handcuffs? It's okay.

Actually,

let's just keep, you know what, let's keep them loose.

It's a little loose.

It's a little loose? Yeah.

Yeah? Mm -hmm.

Come on, baby.

You're a girl.

You're such a good girl.

Why are you coming like that? So good.

You're a good teenage pussy coming like that.

You're a good teenage pussy coming like that.

Coming like that.

You're so small.

I'm going to help you from behind, okay?

From behind.

From behind.

Give me a little, baby.

Give me

both

your hands behind your back, sweetie.

Give me both your hands behind your back, sweetie.

Give me both your hands behind your back, sweetie.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

I'm fucked.

You want more, Naomi?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll tell me to fuck you more. More?

Tell me to fuck you more.

Fuck me more? That's a good girl.

I'm gonna fuck you up tonight, pussy.

Yeah.

Want a pussy?

Um, what? Want your pussy?

Yeah. Yeah?

Mm -hmm. That would be nice.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

What?

Yeah.

That is why.

I'm the one who had to -

I was lucky as a man out here, so.

Don't get no lucky.

Did you get a country talk?

You know what I'm talking about there?

I'm going to rock the road in place.

Holy Christ.

Oh, what a glorious day.

Oh, what a beautiful morning.

Or night time.

Everything's going to be clear as way.

Holy shit. What a great day.

19 years young and you're just going to get better and better and better. You

know that?

Really? Yeah.

I am very impressed. What do you think, Barbados for 19?

She's awesome.

Hashtag OMG cool.

OMG WBM.

WBM? Yeah. Definitely.

Yeah? It's in gross size.

It's baby.

It's baby. Baby WBM.

White booty me. White booty me.

19. 19. You got it. No, I mean like I'm doing squats and I'm like.

You got it. It's there.

It's there.

19. That's it.

19. You know there's a song when I was a kid called 19.

It's called 19?

It's about like Vietnam and it's like how all these kids are dying at 19.

Yeah? Oh.

Well, that's sad.

Yeah. It was.

Wow.

Holy Christ. I don't know how to use this.

I'm a fucking idiot.

You know why? It's different.

It's different.

Yeah, true. I should have grabbed a real rope, but I just take care of it. I got

excited.

I've never had an opportunity to use it. I've been sitting in there for maybe

two or three years now.

That long?

Since I was filming the television series for three years.

Wow. I bought all that shit and I never used it for the TV show.

For HBO, I was like, you don't need it.

Oh, wow.

That was a lot. I tried to buy all sorts of props.

You

got

a rope.

Come on, blindfolds. Come on, blindfolds. Oh, wow.

Well, I'm looking forward to next time.

Go through the box and pick some shit up.

It's a Friday night, so I don't care.

And you are doing a chat. It's my last show before I go to Europe.

Yeah? What is it?

I don't know.

Probably another broad, yeah.

It'll be my last show, definitely, before I go. I was going to impossibly

that Saturday, but ain't feeling it.

Sunday, soccer game, ain't feeling it.

Monday, hungover, ain't feeling it. Tuesday, catch a plane. I can only

that game.

How drunk I'm going to be?

Tell Drew. Keep him coming, Drew.

I'm going to be... Denial, man. You're going to be out of it. Well, I can't get

any drunker than I already get.

Yeah, but it's going to be one of those going away getting party nights.

Because they ain't got a shoot.

Huh? Ain't got a shoot. Ain't got to do nothing.

Yeah.

You love her?

She's on Tinder apparently.

I'm making a profile tonight.

Oh my God, that's my nickname. Everybody calls me mermaid.

Really? Yeah. Is your hair real? Yeah. All of it? Yes. Every last drop? This is

my hair. I'm half Puerto Rican.

You are?

Yes. Huh?

Really? I'm half Puerto Rican. I'm Colombian. Really? I can kind of see

yeah. No shit.

That hair's yours, huh? Yes, it's mine.

Wow.

Wow.

You can touch it. It's real. Here, stand up.

How do you bet it's gone?

You know what's funny?

Her vagina, and she looks a spit at my ex -wife.

What? You do.

My ex -wife is not as pretty as she was. My ex -wife is very petite.

Her vagina looked a lot like yours. Looked a lot like you.

She's gone, and she's the ex -girlfriend, so it don't matter.

Feet that are called spermid. I loved it.

Ha, ha, ha.

Five, four, three, two.

Thank you, everyone, for watching. It's amazing.

19 years young.

Puppy pussy extraordinaire.

How many times did you cum tonight, babe?

Oh, um, well, about, like, six.

Is that the most you ever cum in one time?

I think so, yeah, because the only other time that was, like, that good was with

Bruno. But I don't think it was that... What about real -world sex?

Oh, God.

Real -world sex, you don't want. Horrible.

Horrible? Real -world sex is horrible. You're kidding!

My sex, my personal sex life, just, yeah.

Because if you had a guy, they're all, like, the same age as me, and they

don't... You know what? I'm going to put a post on Facebook. I apologize to

every girl that I fucked when I was under the age of, like, 29.

Because I had no fucking...

clue what the fuck I was doing. I don't know how to put that. I apologize.

Yeah, I don't know how to put that out right now.

Anyway, thank you everyone for watching.

I'm your happy court jester.

Porn it in. I hope everyone out there has a blessed and glorious night and

sure you follow Absolutely.

Duh!

Truly, truly, truly rhetorical.

Where can people find more of you, sweetheart?

Um, my Twitter.

It's Naomi Woods, XX.

And how do you spell Naomi for people at home who cannot spell?

N -A -O -M -I, and then Woods, XX, three X's, yes.

Naomi Woods, like we'll do the L. That's right, guys. Make sure you follow her.

Go out there and enjoy life like I do.