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1
00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:07,676
ANNOUNCER:
Thanks for joining us...
2
00:00:07,676 --> 00:00:09,803
...at the Pro Bowlers' Annual
Christmas Tournament...
3
00:00:09,803 --> 00:00:12,806
...where some of the most incredible athletes
from around the country...
4
00:00:13,098 --> 00:00:15,558
...have gathered to compete
for the sport's biggest prize.
5
00:00:15,809 --> 00:00:16,935
Unh! Hey!
6
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,728
[FEEDBACK OVER SPEAKERS]
7
00:00:19,813 --> 00:00:21,856
SPORTSMASTER:
Sport? Ha! Sport?
8
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:25,735
Hey, news flash, people.
Bowling is not a sport.
9
00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:28,196
A real athlete deserves this prize money.
10
00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:31,700
Oh, but don't worry, I'm not gonna steal it.
I'm gonna win it.
11
00:00:36,997 --> 00:00:37,998
Hey.
12
00:00:39,833 --> 00:00:41,001
[BEEPING]
13
00:00:42,502 --> 00:00:43,586
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
14
00:00:43,837 --> 00:00:45,171
[MEN GASP]
15
00:00:51,553 --> 00:00:54,723
Sportsmaster.
Figures I'd find you in the gutters.
16
00:00:54,723 --> 00:00:57,934
I like to play fair, Batman,
but you're outnumbered.
17
00:00:58,184 --> 00:00:59,477
[THUG GRUNTS]
18
00:01:01,563 --> 00:01:04,733
Then it's a good thing
crime-fighting is a team sport.
19
00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:08,820
Okay, Beetle, Sportsmaster's mine.
You take the second-stringers.
20
00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,155
[SCARAB SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE]
21
00:01:10,405 --> 00:01:13,366
Don't tell me what to do, goober.
22
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,744
Oh, great. Now Batman thinks I'm a jerk.
23
00:01:15,744 --> 00:01:17,078
[SCARAB SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE]
24
00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:19,706
Well, how's he supposed know
you started talking to me?
25
00:01:19,706 --> 00:01:21,458
[SCARAB SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE]
26
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:23,710
Hey, call me crazy...
27
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,963
...but I'm pretty sure Batman
doesn't banter with his suit.
28
00:01:27,422 --> 00:01:29,758
Ah, at last, a little real competition.
29
00:01:34,012 --> 00:01:35,764
[BOTH GRUNTING]
30
00:01:38,558 --> 00:01:39,684
[SCARAB SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE]
31
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:43,813
I know I'm under attack.
Give me something I can do about it.
32
00:01:44,647 --> 00:01:47,734
How about something
less likely to blow up the entire building?
33
00:01:47,984 --> 00:01:49,360
[SCARAB SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE]
34
00:01:49,778 --> 00:01:51,196
Ah, much better.
35
00:02:06,753 --> 00:02:09,964
We're gonna have to call this match a tie.
36
00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:16,805
Nice one, Bats.
37
00:02:17,055 --> 00:02:19,766
Hey, so now that we've gift-wrapped the baddies
for the police...
38
00:02:19,766 --> 00:02:22,644
...you think maybe you'd wanna come over to my house
for Christmas Eve dinner?
39
00:02:22,894 --> 00:02:24,687
You know, my mom's a great cook.
40
00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:27,232
Sorry, crime doesn't take a holiday...
41
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,776
...and neither do I.
42
00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:18,700
[KIDS LAUGHING]
43
00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:25,915
ULTHOON: Though archeology is a science
that studies past human cultures...
44
00:03:26,166 --> 00:03:30,086
"because its aim
is to ultimately understand mankind...
45
00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:32,714
...it is also a humanistic endeavor.
46
00:03:33,006 --> 00:03:34,299
So, uh, Professor Ulthoon...
47
00:03:34,591 --> 00:03:37,010
...is being an archeologist like it is
in the movies?
48
00:03:37,302 --> 00:03:39,762
You know, with adventure
and fighting bad guys?
49
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,472
ULTHOON:
No, Billy.
50
00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:45,935
I am afraid it is mostly just reading books
and research.
51
00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:47,687
[TRUCK TIRES SQUEALING
NEARBY]
52
00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:57,739
Excuse me one moment.
53
00:04:04,913 --> 00:04:06,164
[BOTH SCREAM]
54
00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:16,966
Observation:
55
00:04:17,217 --> 00:04:21,888
Your children need another discussion
about traffic safety, Mr. Jones.
56
00:04:21,888 --> 00:04:23,932
Thank you so much, Red Tornado.
57
00:04:23,932 --> 00:04:28,811
Your heroics have certainly filled our family
with the Christmas spirit.
58
00:04:29,562 --> 00:04:32,649
Christmas spirit? Elaborate.
59
00:04:32,899 --> 00:04:38,029
You know, that tingly feeling you get inside
because it's the bestest time of the year.
60
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,824
This is not something
I have ever been filled with.
61
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:44,786
Of course not, silly. You're just a robot.
62
00:05:34,127 --> 00:05:36,379
Some variable is still missing.
63
00:05:43,011 --> 00:05:45,596
[SINGING "JINGLE BELLS"
IN MONOTONE]
64
00:05:49,309 --> 00:05:50,685
[SIGHS]
65
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,903
I've learned
the most important lesson of all.
66
00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:03,823
Do you want to know
the secret of Christmas spirit, Billy?
67
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:07,243
Yes. Yes. Elaborate, please.
68
00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:09,787
We interrupt with this breaking story.
69
00:06:10,038 --> 00:06:14,250
Flying saucers have invaded our town.
Moments ago, they sent this transmission.
70
00:06:15,585 --> 00:06:17,170
People of Earth:
71
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:21,758
Surrender to us the one called Santa Claus
or be destroyed.
72
00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:25,887
From this day forward, he will finally bring
the children of Neptune...
73
00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:29,932
...the joy and happiness
they have long been denied.
74
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:33,269
Only Batman is on the scene
to defend the city.
75
00:06:39,609 --> 00:06:42,570
[ALL SCREAMING]
76
00:06:45,865 --> 00:06:47,408
[BATMAN GRUNTING]
77
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:05,927
BATMAN: Not exactly how I was expecting
to spend my Christmas Eve.
78
00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:10,390
[GASPS]
79
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:34,330
- Merry Christmas, Batman.
- Now's not the time, Red Tornado.
80
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,791
But isn't Christmas tomorrow?
81
00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:39,544
Not what I mean. Tornado, behind you.
82
00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:54,934
Neptune is uninhabited.
83
00:07:55,935 --> 00:07:56,936
No kidding.
84
00:07:57,186 --> 00:08:00,773
Search your database
for Christmas movies featuring aliens.
85
00:08:01,274 --> 00:08:03,443
Done. One reference:
86
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:07,655
Holiday for Neptunians. Produced: 1954.
87
00:08:07,947 --> 00:08:10,241
The alien transmission
was taken from the film.
88
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:13,786
I'll herd them and draw their fire.
You do the rest.
89
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:42,815
Plastic. These are Earth-made toys.
90
00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:47,653
Cross-referencing known producers
of flying-saucer toys.
91
00:08:47,904 --> 00:08:49,655
You won't find a match for this stamp.
92
00:08:49,906 --> 00:08:53,534
Stamp does not match
listed manufacturers.
93
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,453
I just said that.
94
00:08:55,703 --> 00:09:00,166
Like any artist with a giant ego,
he has to sign his work.
95
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,711
Don't you, Fun Haus?
96
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:07,715
I was just playing around
with my new toys, Batman.
97
00:09:08,007 --> 00:09:09,425
Is that so wrong?
98
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:13,012
Based on criminal records,
most of your actions are wrong.
99
00:09:13,304 --> 00:09:17,934
Felony robbery, parole violation,
felony assault, jaywalking-
100
00:09:17,934 --> 00:09:19,310
Not now, Tornado.
101
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:23,773
If you think we're going to let you continue
your deranged rampage, you're wrong.
102
00:09:24,023 --> 00:09:24,857
Yes, yes.
103
00:09:25,024 --> 00:09:29,695
"If ifs and buts were candy and nuts,
we'd all have a merry Christmas."
104
00:09:29,946 --> 00:09:34,492
Unfortunately,
the games have only just begun tonight.
105
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:46,212
DOLL:
Christmas is my favorite time of year.
106
00:09:46,462 --> 00:09:48,089
Won't you play with me?
107
00:09:48,339 --> 00:09:49,715
[BEEPING]
108
00:09:49,966 --> 00:09:51,801
It's a bomb.
109
00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:01,978
DOLL: My Christmas wish
is to blow everything to smithereens.
110
00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:05,690
Tornado, give this more altitude.
111
00:10:10,987 --> 00:10:14,907
Imperative:
Fun Haus cannot ruin Christmas.
112
00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:17,451
This is about more
than ruining Christmas.
113
00:10:17,702 --> 00:10:19,996
Fun Haus is a crook
before he's anything else.
114
00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:21,998
And why do you care so much anyway?
115
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:25,585
I am lacking Christmas spirit.
116
00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:28,588
It is something I wish to experience.
117
00:10:29,589 --> 00:10:30,590
It's overrated.
118
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,968
Observation:
I am not the only one who lacks it.
119
00:10:34,218 --> 00:10:36,679
Perhaps this will help us both.
120
00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:40,474
You shouldn't have.
121
00:10:53,029 --> 00:10:56,574
Merry Christmas, son.
Let's see what Santa brought you.
122
00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:02,288
Based on the dimensions and weight
of the package...
123
00:11:02,538 --> 00:11:06,917
...and the sound of what's inside,
I think I've deduced exactly what it is.
124
00:11:07,752 --> 00:11:09,003
Our little detective.
125
00:11:16,886 --> 00:11:20,222
I am not detecting any Christmas spirit
within you.
126
00:11:20,473 --> 00:11:24,769
- Thanks, but I didn't get you anything.
- Do not apologize.
127
00:11:25,061 --> 00:11:29,857
I understand giving
exemplifies the holiday spirit, not receiving.
128
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:34,904
Yet I still do not feel this spirit
I am told of.
129
00:11:34,904 --> 00:11:37,948
There should be a tingling sensation,
correct?
130
00:11:38,658 --> 00:11:41,494
When you start tingling,
I'd see a repairman.
131
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:44,372
Come on, we've gotta find Fun Haus.
132
00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:08,104
Hey, Santa,
got any Presto Playpal action figures left?
133
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,898
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
134
00:12:11,816 --> 00:12:14,360
Maybe he didn't hear you.
135
00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:19,740
Inquiry:
Why do you dislike Christmas, Batman?
136
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:22,868
I don't dislike Christmas, I dislike crime.
137
00:12:23,119 --> 00:12:24,912
MAN 1 : Hey.
MAN 2: Whoa!
138
00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:27,707
MAN 3: What the--?
- Down there.
139
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,418
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
140
00:12:31,419 --> 00:12:34,171
Okay, Santa, you've been sipping
a little too much eggnog.
141
00:12:34,422 --> 00:12:35,381
Time to go home.
142
00:12:35,673 --> 00:12:37,341
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
143
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:40,761
While your devotion to the holiday spirit
is commend--
144
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:43,931
[BATMAN GRUNTS]
145
00:12:45,558 --> 00:12:47,101
He just made my naughty list.
146
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:51,605
Observation: Santa is not supposed
to behave in this manner.
147
00:12:51,856 --> 00:12:53,566
That's because this isn't Santa.
148
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,568
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
149
00:12:56,986 --> 00:12:58,946
"O. ho, ho!
150
00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,323
"O. ho, ho!
151
00:13:07,747 --> 00:13:08,873
Ho, ho--
152
00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:15,045
SANTAS:
Ho, ho, ho!
153
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:21,343
Gee, that won't give kids nightmares,
will it?
154
00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:26,390
[SCREAMS]
155
00:13:30,311 --> 00:13:31,854
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
156
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:36,275
[SHOPPERS SCREAMING]
157
00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:39,487
ALL:
Ho, ho, ho!
158
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,910
Hey, Santa, didn't you hear us?
159
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,787
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
160
00:13:48,579 --> 00:13:50,331
[GASPS THEN SCREAMS]
161
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,458
[REINDEER NEIGH]
162
00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:57,087
[KIDS SCREAM]
163
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:31,956
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
164
00:14:34,959 --> 00:14:36,877
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho--!
165
00:14:40,339 --> 00:14:41,799
Pretend you didn't see that.
166
00:14:42,091 --> 00:14:44,301
[BOTH SCREAM]
167
00:14:56,856 --> 00:14:58,399
[KIDS SCREAM]
168
00:15:01,694 --> 00:15:04,446
A Christmas miracle.
169
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,375
[BOY CRYING]
170
00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:24,008
Was your child frightened
by the false Santa Claus machines?
171
00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:25,843
Nah, he knew they were fakes.
172
00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:28,721
He's only crying
because he wants this Playpal action figure.
173
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:32,683
It's the most popular toy for Christmas.
Every kid in town just has to have one.
174
00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:41,859
Your grandpa gave that to me
when I was your age.
175
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:44,320
Now it's yours.
176
00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:50,701
This isn't what I asked for.
I wanted the swashbuckler action figure.
177
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,967
[WHIRRING NEARBY]
178
00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:15,309
You guys have been the best play pals
I could have ever asked for.
179
00:16:15,559 --> 00:16:18,812
Now I only have one more game for you.
180
00:16:19,063 --> 00:16:23,067
'Twas the night before Christmas
And I've hidden a bomb
181
00:16:23,359 --> 00:16:28,072
And if you don't find it
All won't be calm
182
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:32,910
Come on, Tornado.
There's no time to lose.
183
00:16:50,469 --> 00:16:52,429
[BEEPING]
184
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:05,150
Observation: The search for the bomb
was only a wild-goose chase.
185
00:17:05,401 --> 00:17:08,529
Then what has he been trying
to distract us from?
186
00:17:09,989 --> 00:17:12,366
Christmas morning.
187
00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:17,663
I hope today
we both get what we wish for most.
188
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,544
I know it wasn't
the swashbuckler toy you wanted...
189
00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:26,922
...but your Mom and I thought a swashbuckler movie
would be the next best thing.
190
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,799
Did you like it?
191
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,972
Okay, then. Let's go home.
192
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,194
[GUNFIRE]
193
00:17:49,445 --> 00:17:52,281
BRUCE:
Mom! Dad!
194
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:59,204
Sometimes what you wish for most
is the one thing you can never have.
195
00:17:59,455 --> 00:18:03,167
Speaking of wish lists, that logo.
196
00:18:03,459 --> 00:18:05,502
Fun Haus made the Presto Playpals.
197
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:08,797
So that's his evil game.
198
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:15,929
Awesome.
199
00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:19,141
[GASPS]
200
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:20,684
Huh?
201
00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:26,815
[SCREAMS]
202
00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,117
Huh! Aah!
203
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,084
[WHIMPERING]
204
00:18:56,303 --> 00:19:02,017
Oh, it's the most wonderful time
of the year.
205
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:06,522
You'll be doing hard time by New Year's.
206
00:19:06,772 --> 00:19:10,275
Not if you're in the grave by lunch.
207
00:19:33,632 --> 00:19:36,301
If I can't steal from these people
on Christmas...
208
00:19:36,552 --> 00:19:40,055
...then I'll just steal Christmas
from these people.
209
00:19:58,949 --> 00:20:00,492
[SCREAMS]
210
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:06,748
- Everyone get to cover.
MAN: Get out, get out.
211
00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:14,548
Declaration: You will endanger these people
no further, robot.
212
00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:25,517
Need more power.
213
00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:36,028
[SCREAMS]
214
00:20:40,199 --> 00:20:43,452
Tornado, you're putting too much stress
on your body.
215
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:48,790
[FUN HAUS SCREAMING]
216
00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:53,128
[CHEERS]
217
00:20:59,593 --> 00:21:03,805
Odd. I am feeling
a strange tingling sensation.
218
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,445
BATMAN:
Hang on, old friend.
219
00:21:24,785 --> 00:21:28,080
They'll have you put back together
in no time, Tornado.
220
00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:32,960
Observation:
It was an amazing feeling, Batman.
221
00:21:34,253 --> 00:21:35,712
Merry Christmas.
222
00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:57,526
BATMAN:
Merry Christmas to you too, Alfred.
223
00:21:57,818 --> 00:21:59,111
[COMPUTER BEEPING]
224
00:22:00,988 --> 00:22:04,741
But crime doesn't take a holiday,
and neither do I.
17088
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