All language subtitles for I.Love.You.Forever.2024.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.BZ]

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♪ I can let my hair down ♪

♪ I can say anything crazy ♪

♪ I know you'll catch me
right before I hit the ground ♪

♪ With nothin'
but a T-shirt on ♪

♪ I never felt so beautiful
baby, as I do now ♪

♪ Now that I'm with you ♪

♪ With you with you, with you ♪

- Oh, uh, wait, wait.
- What?

I just wasn't totally ready for
my underwear to come off yet,

but that's fine.

Do you have a condom?

Uh, do we have to?

Well, have you had sex
with anyone else

in the last few weeks?

Weeks? Uh, yeah, obviously.

Well, then, yeah,
we... we have to.

I can't stay hard
with a condom on.

Don't you want me to fuck you?

I mean, not without a condom.

Okay.

O... kay.

How'd you sleep?

- Um, don't interrupt.
- What?

Um, I need to complete
this yawn,

and every time you make a sound,
I have to start over.

So just, uh, you know,
don't move or talk, okay?

Okay.

- It's... it's contagious.
- It's just interrupting.

Sorry.

- I hear you doing it.
- I'm not doing it.

Okay, I don't care. Um...

Yeah, what are you, uh,
what are you up to today?

You working?

No, um, I actually,

I got a lot of studying done
this week,

so yeah, I'm... I'm free.

What are you doing?

Might get breakfast
with the guys.

Cool.

Love the guys.
Okay, I'm gonna go.

Aw, I wasn't kicking you out.

And you could have stayed
for, like, 15 more minutes?

- Hi.
- Did you just leave?

- No, five minutes away.
- You're so full of shit.

You've never been five minutes
away in your whole life.

Do you hear me? If you were five
minutes away, you'd be up here.

This is five minutes away.
You're giving 17, okay?

You're giving me Blair Witch
fucking Cloverfield energy.

I have to go.
It is dangerous for a woman

to walk while being
on the phone.

It is not. It is safer with me,
with my voice, on the phone.

You hear me? Stay away from her!

Fuck! Oh, I forgot
to get her something.

What did you get her?
Can we... can we split it?

What? No. I got her a cupcake.

Good idea.

♪ If you want to ♪

♪ I can save you
I can take you... ♪

I mean, that's a lot of friends

that you have.

Happy birthday.

I, um, I-I-I got you
an ice cream cake.

An ice cream cake?

Lucas, Lucas,

she got me an ice cream cake.

That is so n...
You know me so well.

I was really hoping
I could shit my pants tonight,

and now, with your help,
I think I can finally do it.

- So, thank you.
- You don't have to eat it.

It can just be, like, for vibes.

No, I... I get it.

It's like, what do you even get
your lactose-intolerant friend

who's also struggled with an
eating disorder her entire life?

Sorry.

Like, who am I?
Marie Antoinette?

Pretty sure Marie
Antoinette wasn't a total bitch.

Has Evan still not responded?

Have you ever seen
something more humiliating

in your entire life?

No, seriously, be honest.

Well, actually, yesterday
I double-checked my dating apps

to make sure they weren't paused

because I haven't had
a match in three months.

So, yeah.

Well, he actually was
in my dream, though.

Like, I know
that's something people say

as an excuse to text someone,
but he actually was in it.

So if anything, it would be
weird, like, not to tell him.

Better to regret than to wonder.

Well, no, 'cause
the problem is now

I can't invite him to my party,

and he's not not the reason

I decided to throw one
in the first place.

Jake once went nine months
without ever texting me at all,

and now I get a meme,
like once a week.

Yeah, you and your
sociopathic fuck buddy

aren't really, like, goals.

Well, I just, I kind of think
that's the closest thing

you can get to
a real relationship now.

No one is supposed to know this
many opportunities exist for them.

He's supposed to know
three women and then choose me.

Oh. So, your ideal
dating scenario is like,

Little House on the Prairie.

Yeah, or like the distant future
where everyone else is dead.

You know,
in the apocalyptic future,

they won't have Matcha?

Probably.

Will you survive without Matcha?

No, Ally, you do not
have to do this.

No, no, no, no, no.
Do not move it to your mouth.

No, no, no. Give that to me.
Kill me instead.

- Oh, no.
- I'll take the fucking bullet for you.

I got it. I got the gun!

Everyone back the fuck up.

Okay?

The gun is now... a cat.

Do we even want
to go to this anymore?

Your birthday party?

There's nothing there for me.

It'll be fun. And if not,

I'm sure you'll get
a great story out of it.

Conversational or Instagram?

- Conversational.
- I bet if we go through your phone,

we can find someone else
for you to hook up with tonight.

Or we could do an activity

that would have you guys
pass the Bechdel test.

You know, that guy Cooper
actually liked my photo yesterday

after not engaging with
my profile for, like, a year.

Perfect.

I gotta make a toast.
I always do.

To Ally.
Just another year older.

- Always beautiful.
- Aww.

To the infinite wisdom
you bestow upon us.

Whether it's the benefits
of ingesting hyaluronic acid

or the merits
of applying it topically.

Ally! My friend is at the door.
Can you help her get in?

They shouldn't have a problem.
Just tell them to say my name.

The bouncer said
they're at capacity.

At capacity.
Bet you didn't see that coming.

- I did.
- So smart telling me to invite every guy in my DMs.

- Did I say that?
- You know her. She's really...

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

- Excuse me.
- Sorry.

I'm s... I'm sorry.

No, no. I'm...
I'm so sorry. I...

You were just standing there.

I'm sorry, I opened the door.

Opening a door doesn't require
an apology either, so...

Yeah.

- I'm so sorry. You probably...
- Oh.

- ...want to use the restroom.
- I do.

- Uh, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Of course. Sorry.
- Yeah.

♪ Yo, real quick,
I've been pointing to the top ♪

♪ Yo, real quick,
I'ma switch it from the spot ♪

♪ Yo, real quick
I'ma... while it's hot ♪

♪ Yo, real quick
real, real, real ♪

♪ Hit it real quick ♪

- Are you bored?
- No. Why?

Well, you're on your phone
at a party.

Right. Well,
I didn't want to seem creepy,

you know, standing here
just staring at people.

So I'm on my phone for
the benefit of others, really.

Did you think I looked creepy
standing alone,

not looking at my phone?

No. I thought you looked
cool and mysterious.

Only I look creepy.

Well, for the record,
I... I felt really weird.

Hence, me forcing you
to talk to me.

Mm. Well, I'm glad
we can make each other

feel less socially inept.

Yeah. It's good.
It's a good thing.

Uh, I'm Finn, by the way.

- Mackenzie.
- Lovely to meet you.

- How do you know Ally?
- I, I don't.

My friend Alex texted the person in
his contacts who does the most cocaine,

and asked where
he was going, and...

- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.

Well, well,

look at this beautiful baby
right here.

This is Harrison. This is Alex.

- These idiots are my friends.
- Hi.

These fellows are, for the lack
of a better word, on the prowl.

- Sorry about that.
- Yeah.

- They don't... Yeah.
- My girlfriend died.

- But I'm over it.
- Oh.

Should we get some drinks?

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes.
- Yes?

- Thank you.
- Sorry.

I swear to God, I'm here
for moral support.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, I don't usually go out

unless I absolutely have to.

Why would you? I mean, the...

the cons so outweigh the pros.

The only pro is that you
could actually meet somebody.

Yeah, and of course
the worst-case scenario is

you could die.

- Mackenzie.
- That...

Sorry. Uh, I'm gonna...

Who the fuck is that?

I have been stuck outside
the entire night

helping people get
their friends in,

and guess who's in line.

- I give up.
- Evan. With a girl.

Um, hello?

Oh, sorry.
What happened? Tell me again.

Can we please sit?
My feet are fucking killing me.

Okay.

- What are you doing?
- Oh, my God.

- What's happening?
- My foot's asleep.

Oh, okay, what do you
want me to do about it?

Oh my God. No, no,
please help me.

What do you... What do I do?

- Okay.
- My least favorite feeling ever.

Just like shake it. Like...

Like, do something.
Like, please, like...

Okay, I got it,
I got it, I got it.

- Please.
- How's that? Is that good?

- More. It really hurts.
- Okay, okay.

- Alright, alright, alright.
- I really hate it.

- Is that good?
- More, more, more.

- Is she jerking that guy off?
- Oh, God.

- It really, really hurts.
- I got you. I got you.

Evan's here.
Evan just walked in.

I swear that girl he was with

has gone out with every single
one of my Hinge matches.

How do you know that?

Every guy I've hooked up with
in the last two years

follows her on Instagram.

It's not a coincidence.

We're on the same
dating algorithm.

She's really pretty,

so maybe it's the
hot girl algorithm.

Mm. She is really pretty.
Thank you for that.

She's also so young
that her baby photos

were taken on
a third-generation iPhone.

- Thank God, I got scared it was a voice note again.
- Found him.

And how has the latest
listeria outbreak affected you?

I no longer feel safe
ordering a Chagaccino.

I don't... I don't get the joke.

I don't think it's a sketch.
I think he's a journalist.

What? Let me see.

Wow. He is a journalist.

So cool that you get, like,
a real-life meet-cute at a party

filled with my reply guys,

and my only option tonight
is, like, to fuck Lucas.

I consent.

Jake texted you.

I guess he's, like,
obsessed with me.

Is that how he talks to you?

Yeah, I mean it's...
You know, it's like our joke.

He averaged 35 points
per game last year,

six assists, and 10 rebounds.

Look out for him tonight.

♪ Too cute too stylish
but I look like, turn the... ♪

And that's what I'm trying
to explain to you, bro.

To maximize your potential,
you've gotta hustle, grind...

Could I have a little
more water, please?

Yeah, sure.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

I'm gonna sleep so good tonight.

Um, do you think maybe
we could talk a little first?

- Uh, okay. About what?
- I don't know.

I just... I feel like
we've been doing this

for almost two years,
and I barely know you at all.

Yeah, sure.

Um, what do you want to know?

Well, what do you want
to do after you graduate?

- Pass the bar.
- O-o-obviously, yeah.

What do you want
to do after that?

Become the president.

I'm sorry.

That's... cool...
that's amazing.

I'm sure you will,
I'm sure you will.

I'm just so tired.

Yeah, yeah,
we can just go to sleep.

He didn't offer you
a sweatshirt?

That's far too intimate for him.

You look cute,
like an off-duty model.

Hmm, more like an off-duty rat.

No. "Thank you," period.

Thank you, period.

I did not know people
still used these things.

Well, my bank account
is in a pretty scary place,

so I am charging these,
for some extra cash.

This is a job?

I thought it was
a YouTube thing like parkour,

stealing.

Oh, so funny, Ally.
You know what?

Why don't you go ahead
and get fucked, okay?

Because some people actually
have to work to live.

Could you imagine that?
There's one.

- Lucas!
- Ow!

- What the fuck?
- Sorry.

You know, I'm a full-time
student, just like Mackenzie.

You never give her shit.

Well, the difference is that

Mackenzie goes to law school
to become a lawyer,

and you are getting
an MFA in fine art

to manipulate your parents
into paying your rent.

Well, you're a philistine.

- Wow.
- That's not even true.

My parents only pay for my food.

Mm-hmm. I heard you on the phone
with your dad the other day,

telling him that Venmo
is a cafe.

That true?
That's what I thought.

Hmm.

Kenz, did you enjoy your night
with the human vape pen?

You know,
they give us their crumbs

and we cherish them
as though they were caviar.

Yeah. We sure do.

I really think you need
to message the hot journalist.

No, that is so cringe.
I would never do that.

- Oh, you would never do that?
- No.

Well, you told me
to do it yesterday.

Where should
we go for breakfast, guys?

I have to go to the library.

Even though it's my birthday?

It's not anymore.

Oh, so I don't get
a full weekend?

Okay. Got it.

Cool.

Birthday's a day. One day.

This does not count as us
watching a movie together.

Just want to be clear
about that.

Fuck.

Your tapping is distracting.

- No!
- Yeah, send it.

You guys even know
what's happening?

Uh, he's a schizophrenic,

and it's been an illusion
the whole time.

Yeah, and the friend is
actually working for the cops.

We're watching
Still Alice, so...

But why?

You know, everyone hates the
texting stage, but I love it.

Feeling like every thought
that comes into your head

is worthy of sharing.

Mm. I'll probably
never see him again, though.

You know, he might be
one of those serial texters,

- for all we know.
- Hate those.

I only want to type that much
if I'm getting graded,

- paid, or fucked for it.
- Jesus.

- He's FaceTiming me?
- You have to answer.

I can't talk to him
in real time.

He knows you're on your phone.

It's so fucked
when people do this.

People should not
be allowed to do this.

I agree.

You know, if you don't answer,

he's gonna think it's because
you look bad.

But it is because I look bad.

I mean, who looks cute
often enough

for a cold FaceTime?

Ugh, God.

- Hey.
- Hey there.

Hey. Yeah.

Not much. Not much.

Just...

Sorry, I'm...
I'm bad at FaceTime.

You can't be bad at FaceTime.

No, you can, actually,
and I can already tell

that you're good at it, so...

How?

Uh, well,
'cause you chose to do it,

and... and the way
you're holding the phone,

you're not afraid of, like,
what angle the camera

will catch you at.

Right, right, right, right.

Um, well,

okay, I'll let you
off the hook soon.

I just need to know one thing.

What is your
favorite restaurant?

Restaurant dates
make me nervous.

Uh, why... why is that?

Everyone can tell
you're on a first date,

and they're trying to,

you know, interpret
how well it's going.

Yeah, sounds fun.

The ordering is embarrassing.

One of us could order
something in a certain way,

and then the other one could
just lose attraction immediately.

That is true.
We don't want that to happen.

Um, okay, okay.

Um, I can figure something out.

I'll figure something out.

I don't love surprises.

Mm-hmm. Let me guess.
They make you nervous?

Okay, I'm actually going now.

- Bye.
- Love you. Have fun.

I swear, guys,

doing this for 40 minutes a day
got my cheekbones...

I promise your body will know
to stop shitting once you leave.

You just have...
You just have to go.

I thought we said no dinner.

Well, it's not dinner in public.

I don't get it.

Mr. Grantham.

- Please, follow me.
- You're kidding me.

I wanted to do
something special for you.

I promise you I'll do my best to
stay attracted to you while you order.

Thank you.

And if anybody asks,

we're doing a special
on the restaurant.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, we're closed
for the night.

There's a table seated
right there.

Uh, it's a private event.

This is an event?

Should we just, like,
let them eat here?

'Cause it's kind of
garnering more attention

than just regular eating
in public.

No. Fuck 'em.

It's for you.

He was so funny.

I mean, he would
stay up for hours

and hours and hours
just telling stories.

No one could light up
a room like him.

How could you possibly know
that Abraham Lincoln was funny?

I've read books on him.

Yeah, the fact that you've read
multiple books on Abraham Lincoln

and I haven't read
a single book, period.

You must read law books.

Mm. That's not really reading.

It's soullessly absorbing words.

Well, what kind of laws
that you want to practice?

I'm mostly interested
in city politics.

- Mm-hmm.
- I don't know,

just working
on something for years

and then seeing it
affected into law

and getting to watch it
all play out

in real life weirdly excites me.

It... it's obviously
extremely boring

and uninteresting to talk about,

not to mention a completely
unoriginal career path, so...

Not to me.

You're the only person
under 30 I know

that's not trying
to make a Forbes list.

Yeah, that's 'cause
I'm a mediocre person.

Mediocre people
don't know they're mediocre.

Seriously, though, it's, um...

I think it's really
impressive what you do.

What you do
is really impressive.

- I could never do that.
- Sure you could.

It's so easy.
Just ask me questions.

Okay. Let's see.

Okay.

What are your three
favorite animals and why?

Really? Okay.

Uh, first,
I'd say the red panda.

I did a story on them
about a year ago.

They're endangered,
and they're so cute.

And, um,

second would probably be
a golden retriever.

They're smart. They're loyal.

A totally harmless creature.

Oh, and third?

Maybe a chimp.

'Cause they're almost human.

Well, the first, uh, represents

- how the world sees you.
- Okay.

- The second is how you see yourself.
- Mm-hmm.

And, um, the third
is what you actually are.

Almost human.

Wow, that's great.

Uh, you're in a forest.
How do you feel?

I feel good. I like the trees.

Uh, I brought you here with me.

So that's nice. Comforting.

- That's how you feel about death.
- Mm.

Uh, how do you like your coffee?

Uh, I don't really care what it
tastes like as long as it's hot.

Oh, no. Is coffee sex?

Yeah, it is.

- Um, okay, uh, last one.
- Hmm?

You get flowers from the person
you want them from most.

What are the flowers?

Probably white roses.

Hmm. That's the kind of
relationship you want to have.

I'd say white roses
are pretty traditional.

- What about you?
- I think I said daisies.

I don't really remember.
It was a long time ago.

This is my friend Ally's,
uh, first-date icebreaker.

And how do you take your coffee?

Oh, yeah, I like it
when it keeps me up all night.

You know what I mean?

And I like
to switch it up a lot.

Drip, iced, lattes,
you know, a lot of cream.

Mm-hmm, yeah.

I... I'd take my coffee
that way too.

Uh-huh.

I have a soft spot
for the first table we ate at.

We were different people then.

Yeah, I like where we're at now.

It's the closest I've got
to sit next to you all night.

Oh, I forget to take it off
when I shower,

and, um, it's not like
a real material.

Can I have it?

As collateral.

So, you'll see me again.

You have no idea
how crazy it is to me

that you aren't 100% sure
I would see you again.

You're in complete control
of the situation.

I find that very hard
to believe.

It's the truth.

You'll have to prove it.

- Ooh.
- So cute.

- Chi-chi.
- Yeah, fancy.

Did you get a booth?

He rented out
the whole restaurant.

- Sorry, what?
- What did you do to this guy?

I don't... I don't know.
He's made me realize

that no one has ever
actually liked me before.

I, too, have come to the
same realization about myself.

Well, that is so much. Why?

I told him that
I was embarrassed to be

on a first date
in front of people.

Pick me.

What?

I said how quirky
and endearing of you.

Ally, why do you have that?

Oh, I didn't want
to spend the entire day,

like, worrying
if I left it on at home.

Yeah. Seek help.

So, did you guys fuck or what?

- Ew, Lucas.
- Come on.

- Yeah, did you?
- No.

But we have been sending the
water drop emoji back and forth,

so I think it's gonna
happen this weekend.

Totally.

Wait, what does
the water drop emoji have

to do with sex?

Lucas.

It means wet, dude.

Fuck!

How are you
neither old nor foreign?

It's bad. Really not good.

So, when are you
seeing him again?

On Friday.

Look at this.

That's amazing.

Do you know
where he's gonna take you?

I don't know.

I'm going with Hawaii.

Malaysia.

- Hawaii. Fuck.
- Mm.

I have never been so
physically comfortable in my life.

- I can't move.
- Mm-mm.

I refuse.

It would be so hard.

It would be like...

like getting out of a jacuzzi.

But the towels are so far away.

They're just too far.

- Mm.
- Unfortunately, I need to pee.

- Okay.
- Give me an assist.

Three, two...

Hi.

What?

Uh, what are you doing?

I'm protecting myself
from what could be

on your explore page.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

- Ooh, it could get bad.
- I don't want to see.

No, no.

- Winston Churchill facts?
- Mm-hmm.

This is supposed to be insight
into your worst interests.

- It is my worst interests.
- No.

That's not good enough.
Look at mine.

- Mm-hmm.
- Plastic surgery before and after pics,

'cause even my phone
knows I need it.

- Shut up.
- It's true.

Honestly, it sucks you have
to look at me so much.

Honestly, it sucks that
you don't get to look at you.

Get outta here!

What was that?

I'm just pulling all the bad
thoughts out of your head.

I got about 80%.

Still about 20 left, but it's
pretty good for the first round.

No one's ever been
this sweet to me before.

Well, they're idiots.

Are you sure you're real
and not like

a 2004 Matthew McConaughey
simulation?

I've never felt this way
about somebody before.

And I've only had
one serious girlfriend,

and... she cheated on me.

- So... yeah.
- Hmm.

Yeah, same here.

But he was really easy
to get over.

He once memorized the entire
Dark Knight opening monologue.

That's lame.

See, you get how hard
it is to trust people.

Yeah.

Yeah. I was fucked
long before that, though.

My mom left
when I was a little kid.

And... I don't know,

I guess... when your mom leaves,

you don't really expect anybody
to stay for you, so...

Sorry, I can't imagine
what that was like.

It's okay.

I didn't mean to trauma dump
on you or anything,

- I just...
- No, it's okay.

I, um...

I really like you a lot.

- I really like you a lot, too.
- You do?

Speaking of...

- You wanna open it?
- Okay.

- It's shiny now?
- And gold.

And new.

And monogrammed.

Oh.

You know, you... you don't have
to do stuff like this for me.

I know. I want to.

And I got one for me, too.

- What?
- Yeah.

Check it out.

Oh, my gosh.

I don't know what to say.

Well, you don't have
to say anything.

- I want yours.
- You want mine?

Yeah. You can wear mine.

That's cute. I want yours.

- Thank you.
- Mm.

Because A
and B together could transfer

a fee simple
within their own lifetimes

plus 21 years.

Oh. Uh, my time is up.

Remember, my office hours
are extended this week,

and judging by
today's performance,

I suggest many
of you take advantage.

Okay. Thank you.

Two left in a coma.
One left confused.

The manhunt continues after
hijacking suspects sped away.

That's all we have for tonight.
Please stay tuned.

Melissa Grayheart's
coming up next.

I love you, Mackenzie.

What the fuck?

Well, it sounds like
love is in the air.

They're dying,
and it was just like,

there's so many people.

And I freaked out in my car.

Why do all hot guys
wrap towels around their waist?

- You think I'm hot?
- You knew that already.

Don't you want your chest
to dry, too?

It's a form
of expressing masculinity.

Well, it's toxic.
You're gonna catch a cold.

Anything for you, baby.

Sorry, baby.
I wasn't on my phone.

You viewed my story.

Oh, I was only on there
for like a minute

before I saw that you texted.

- Sorry.
- Okay.

- Well, hi, beautiful.
- Hold on.

There she is.

I'm so sleepy.

I just wanted to call
and say goodnight.

So we're not gonna talk?

Ugh, I wish, but I'm so tired.

Isn't it like 2:00 a.m. there?

Yeah, I stayed up all night
just to talk to you.

And I'm live at 6:00.

What? Why did you do that?

Because I can't sleep
without talking to you first.

Well, that's really sweet
but just tell me next time

so I'm not unknowingly
keeping you awake, okay?

So, we're not gonna talk?

No, I will.

Remember when we used to stay up

all night FaceTiming?

What... what happened to that?

Mm, I think because
we've been dating

for a couple of months
and so we know each other now.

I just miss you so much.

- I miss you, too.
- Mm-mm.

No, Mackenzie, I don't think
I could live without you.

Oh, I love you.

But you could live without me?

I didn't say that.

I mean, if I had to,
I'd find a way,

but I wouldn't
be happy about it.

Promise me
you'll never leave me.

I promise.

I love you forever.

- Mackenzie!
- What? What happened?

Can you say it back?

Oh, I love you forever.

From the most
to the least authoritative.

The first one being
the U.S. Constitution.

This is the supreme law
of the land,

the Supremacy Clause.

Even federal statute
can be challenged

as being unconstitutional
in this legislation.

For homework tonight,
I need you to all look

at the principal case
very carefully.

That means highlight
and take notes.

Pages S-51 through 87.

If you have any questions,
you know...

Hello?

Why didn't you answer my calls?

I was in class. What happened?

Why are you ignoring me?

I was in class.

What's going on?
You're freaking me out.

Why didn't you leave class
to answer?

I-I-I just...
I didn't want to miss anything.

God forbid. It's hard to believe
you couldn't even text me back.

I was just...
I was trying to focus.

What is going on?

I was trying to reach you

for an hour and a half.

Okay, well,
I'm on the phone now.

Please tell me what's happening.

I just wanted
to check in on you.

You said there was an emergency.

Yeah, when I couldn't reach you
for an hour and a half,

I was really worried.

Jesus, you scared me.
What could have happened?

- You know I'm in school.
- I don't know.

A fucking shooting?

Why are you laughing?
I was scared.

You get anxious
when a person fucking sneezes.

Okay. Sorry. I was busy.

You were busy. Doing what?

I mean, I'm sure
they grant you some autonomy

during your little class.

Why are you being such a dick?

Wow. I was fucking joking.

What exactly is the joke?

The joke is

I have an extremely
high-pressure job,

and I still manage to answer

every single one
of your calls and texts,

because you are my priority.

Finn, just because
I don't answer my phone

when I'm busy doesn't mean
you're not my priority.

You're on your phone 24/7.

And if you actually cared
about me, you would answer...

you would find a way
to answer a call or a text.

That's all I'm saying,
but instead I'm left

looking at 10 missed phone
calls like a fucking idiot,

because you don't give
a shit about me!

I have to go. Okay?

I-I-I'll call you
when I get home

and you've calmed down.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Fucking stop.

So, they basically say
that men will get married

to whoever they're with
at the time

once they're ready
to settle down.

But women wait to find the one
they want to settle down with.

But anyone a guy is with, when
he's ready, he'll just marry.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Ally is really good
at making drinks.

I taught myself last summer

so I'd have something
going for me.

- What are you doing here?
- Oh.

Uh, I mean,
you weren't answering,

so I just stopped by
to see if you were home,

and Ally said you were
probably out getting groceries.

Hey.

Um, I'm gonna change.
Will you come with me?

Yeah.

What are you...
what are you doing here?

Well, we needed to talk,
and you didn't answer my calls.

How could you not care enough
to even check in

to see how I was doing?

I told you I would call you
when I got home,

and I just got home, so...

I mean, you haven't even tried
to make me feel better.

I don't know
what I'm supposed to say.

I just wanted to call

and make sure you were safe

and tell you I love you.

Okay. I'm safe,
and I love you too.

Sure.

Doesn't sound like it.

Finn, could we maybe
just finish this tomorrow?

It's been a really long day.
I'm tired.

- You're tired?
- Yeah.

I walked all the way over here

and waited for you like a dog

so that we wouldn't go
to sleep angry at each other.

Do you have no regard
for my feelings whatsoever?

Honestly, I kind of feel like
you don't really have

any regard for my feelings

or the fact that
I didn't invite you over.

Where are you going?

Finn! You... No...

What... What are you doing?

Oh, my God!
Why would you do that?

Because you don't love me.

- Yes, I do.
- No, you don't.

Finn!

- Oh, my God!
- What was that?

- I love you!
- Ew, my roommate's having,

like, disgusting loud sex
with her boyfriend.

Stop it! What are you doing?

What are you doing?

- You don't care about me.
- Yes, I do.

Can we please move on?
You're not being normal.

I'm not being normal because
I'm trying to express to you

the ways in which
you are making me unhappy.

I think that
that's pretty normal.

- I make you unhappy?
- Yes, Mackenzie.

You make me want to kill myself.

Jesus, what? That is so extreme.

If I treated you
the way that you treat me,

you'd want to
kill yourself, too.

- Trust me.
- Will you please stop saying stuff like that?

- You're scaring me.
- What a monster I am.

Taking you to all these dinners,

inviting you
to all these parties

you'd never be invited to
in the first place,

flying you places.

My entire life

revolves around you, Mackenzie,

- and you don't give a fuck!
- I...

I never asked you for anything.

Yeah, well,
you don't do shit for me.

I mean seriously, name one thing
you've done for me.

I'm not gonna,
like, sit here and,

and list off things
that I've done.

I feel like I'm a loving person.

Because you can't name one.

Because I'm confused. I...

I thought we were,
like, amazing.

Of course, you feel like that
because I treat you really well.

I treat you like gold.

And you treat me
like a pile of shit.

Fuck this.
I'm walking into traffic.

Finn?

- Finn! Oh, my God.
- No one's ever loved me.

- Finn! Oh, my God.
- Just let me die.

- Oh, my God.
- Let me die.

What?

I can't do anything right.

Oh. I'm so fucking stupid!

- No, you're not...
- I can't do anything right.

No, no, no, please.

Okay,
we're gonna go over the types

of legislation now in hierarchy,

from the most
to least authoritative.

Okay, so the first one
being the U.S. Constitution.

The supreme law of the land.
It's a policy clause.

Even federal statutes
in this legislation

can be challenged
as being unconstitutional.

Okay, number two,
federal statutes.

Third one is treaties.

A diplomatic instrument.
It's a compact between nations.

It may have incidental
side effects

as federal legislation.

The fourth type of legislation
is state constitutions.

Here, it's more likely
to deal with at length

in a very specific term.

Subjects like school
and police administration,

lotteries, state
and municipal budgeting,

uh, tenure of civil
service employees, et cetera.

The Supreme Court of the U.S.
is not superior in authority

to state courts
on questions of local state law.

Number five. State statutes.

The effectiveness of
a state statutory provision

may be challenged in court

that it violates
some prohibition

in the U.S. Constitution.
Okay, and...

Ow!

You're so sensitive.

How else do you expect me
to do this?

Slower and quieter, maybe?

Okay.

That's... Okay.
Now you're just being rude.

What the fuck?

Oh. Oh, this.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I didn't even notice this.

Wildly unnecessary.

I'm sorry,
but he is so fucking corny.

It's a lot of flower water,
which gets very stinky.

In two days, this will just be
stinky flower water.

Okay, Kenz,
can you do me a favor?

- What's up?
- Can you check my close friends

and just tell me if it's obvious
I'm posting on it for my crush?

- Lucas said I look desperate.
- Very desperate.

I've never seen anyone use
that feature to pout before.

Are you kidding?
"Lit" doesn't count as a word.

This is everything
that's wrong with our culture.

- Literally always been a word.
- Babe, come on.

- Kenz?
- What?

You solving a mystery
over there, or what's going on?

No, I'm just...
I'm just messaging Finn.

It's, um, it's easier
on my laptop

'cause then
my thumbs don't hurt.

Uh, what's going on?
Is everything okay?

It will be. We got
into our first fight last night.

I think that maybe I've been
taking him for granted a little bit,

and he's feeling insecure.

Does he feel insecure

because you guys
are together all the time,

and then when
you're not together

you're also still talking?

I get it.
I once got upset at Cody,

because he got up before me
on a Sunday morning

and then never came
back in to cuddle.

I just walked out, and he was
sitting there on his phone.

Like, are you joking?

If you're not gonna do therapy,

can you at least look
at the TikToks I send you?

"Lit" is a word, by the way.

- Oh...
- Yeah, yeah.

I hate myself.

You should. You actually should.

- I have to go.
- What? You just got here.

Sorry.

Fuck!

I mean... fuck.

Ooh, could you get me
some allergy meds?

"Lit isn't a word, babe."

Did you just lower your own
man-voice to imitate me?

I'm... I'm really sorry
that I made you feel that way.

I just don't want you
to do things

that are gonna
make you resent me.

You're making me feel
really bad.

I'm not trying to make
you feel bad. I just...

No, I know, I thought we were
gonna forget about last night.

No, we are. It's just...

it's a little hard for me
to brush past you saying

I make you want
to kill yourself.

I don't know what got into me.

I think I was trying
to sabotage us.

Why?

Because sometimes I think
you're too good to be true

and I'm scared
you're gonna leave me.

I'm not going anywhere.

- You promise?
- Yes.

I think you're the first person

that's, like, ever
seen me like that.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I mean, I used to get
these panic attacks

when I was like 10.

Is that when your mom left?

It was more my dad.

He really struggled a lot
when my mom left.

And... it sounds stupid.

It sounds really stupid.

I can't believe
I'm telling you this.

The first panic attack happened

after I begged my dad
to let me have

a sleepover with my friends.

All the kids in my elementary
school class would have 'em.

Their moms would be there
setting it up.

After begging my dad
for a really long time,

he finally let me have one.

When they came over,

I had realized
that my dad forgot.

And there was nothing set up.

There was no food,
and the house was dirty.

We all just sat there,
and within an hour,

they all called their moms
and asked them to pick them up.

And so I just...
I had a panic attack.

Baby.

That's so sad.

You know how precious
you are to me?

You don't hate me, do you?

Of course not.

You know, this is what love is.

You see someone through
their worst moments.

Can you do me a favor?

Anything.

Can you delete
our text messages?

Sure.

- I'm just so embarrassed.
- No, it's okay. Don't be.

- You really still love me?
- Yes.

You are the best boyfriend
in the whole world.

- I love you forever.
- I love you forever.

First of all, you guys,

she likes karaoke.

So, like, already I'm superior.

Because I have
a self-awareness to

- not sing in public.
- Sure.

No offense, Lucas.

What's second of all?

Second of all,
is I did some light stalking.

Like, she's never written
one of her own captions

in her entire life.
It's so obvious.

See this?
It's absolutely insane.

Every post has
a different personality.

I mean, she's outsourcing.

Like, this has
a full writers' room.

- Mm-hmm.
- Ooh, yes.

Got the res for Saturday, so...

- For where?
- Chez Louis.

Ugh, I knew
you were gonna say that.

I hate when you pretend
you're in Paris.

It makes me so nauseous.

- What's Saturday?
- The reunion.

- Oh, fuck, that's right.
- What reunion?

Some people from our college
dining club are in town.

You're not gonna flake, are you?

No, of course not.

What's dining club?

You guys do dinners?

Yeah, and we talk about things.

Oh, what kind of things?

World events, life,

thoughts, religion,
politics, sports, sex.

- So, so dinner.
- Yeah.

That's the most pretentious shit
I've ever heard in my life.

- Wow.
- Wow.

No, it's not.

It's... It-it-it's not
pretentious, actually.

It's quite nuanced.

- No, it's definitely pretentious.
- Thank you.

No. It sounds fun. Sounds fun.

Do you wanna come?

- No, seriously.
- Could he, you think?

Could he come to our
college club reunion?

I don't know if you
would enjoy yourself.

It's gonna be like a lot
of dumb reminiscing and...

Yeah, it's fine.
It's not that fun.

It's like... like...

I mean, I... I mean, it was,
like, really hard to get a table,

but I'm sure I could ask
if we could have one more.

Might only need one chair
for the two of you.

You know?

You guys, it's...
it's fine, 'kay.

- Seriously, you do your thing.
- Are you sure, baby?

Yeah, I don't need to be there.
I really don't.

Aren't you just
the sweetest thing

in the world?

You're so sweet.

What's this?

What does it look like?

It's a sleepover.

Actually, if...
if I do say so myself,

it's... it's kind of
the perfect sleepover.

We've got snacks.
We've got video games.

We've got...
Oh, it's a little off-brand,

but we've got shrooms.

Listen, I know...
I know that sometimes

I can, like, get in my own head,

and it might seem like
I don't appreciate you

or I'm not grateful for you,
but I really am.

And... and I think
about you all the time.

And... and I've already
cried twice thinking about you

as a little boy
at that sleepover, so...

You're all I need.

I'm sorry if I ever
made you feel otherwise.

No, I'm sorry
it took me this long

to do something nice for you.

♪ Baby, last week ♪

You're not gonna get rid
of me that easy, okay?

♪ Makin' love to me ♪

- You wanna do shrooms?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I know you didn't know
this about me before,

‘cause I don't like
to bring it up, like, early on,

- as I don't like to show off.
- What?

But I'm the best Pikachu
in the world.

- Oh, are you?
- I'm the best in the world.

Like, actually,
I'm the best in the world.

Like, they call it
"edgeguarding."

I call it "hating."

I am the best.

I'm actually the best Pikachu
in the world.

Like, you can't beat the graph.
You can't beat the graph.

- No, I really can't, actually.
- You can't beat the graph.

I'm sorry. It's like,
it's... it's not fair.

Cheers.

It's the most
underrated dessert, right?

By far.

- Tickle monster.
- No.

Get a little tickle man.

♪ But I know where you went ♪

♪ And I'll be around ♪

You're so nasty, ugh.

Ugh, I feel so sick.

Really? I feel amazing.

♪ I've been gettin' so used to ♪

♪ Living so lonely ♪

I really need to brush my teeth,
but I'm too cozy to move.

Oh, where are you going?

Oh, no, I don't want you to go.

What the fuck?

Anything for my princess.

Mm-mm.

- I have to get...
- Mm-mm.

I have to get ready.

I'm sorry.

- Mm-mm.
- Yeah.

- Mm-mm.
- It's time.

Mm-mm. Sorry.

Let go.

- Mm-mm.
- I'm gonna be late for dinner.

Oh, for the geniuses
who think they invented dinner.

Ah, yes, of course.

- Thank you.
- Please, my lady.

I really wish we were spending
my last night together.

I know, I do too.

But you'll only be gone
for a week,

and I will be back
right after dinner.

We'll only have an hour.

We'll have all night, baby.

You're gonna be home at 10:00

and in bed by 11:00.

Which is fine. I just need
to manage my expectations.

I'm sorry, you're right.

I... I don't know what
time I'll be home,

but it won't be late

and we'll have the morning,

and the rest of our lives.

Mm-hmm, fine.

I wish
I could stay home with you.

I don't really see them a lot,
and embarrassingly enough,

they were like the only thing
that got me through school, so...

- You didn't like college?
- Not really.

It was kind of
a difficult time for me.

- Why?
- I had this professor

he would ask me to come
to his office all the time,

and then he started
pouring me drinks there,

and... I mean,
it was very cliché

in a lot of ways, but I just,

I never really thought
he would try anything.

I really looked up to him and...

But he did... he did try
to kiss me one day,

and then I rejected him and...

I didn't feel unsafe, you know?

But, um, he just...

he got really hostile
with me in class after that,

so I went and I told
the counselor,

like you're supposed
to do on campus,

and before I knew it,
he was fired,

and somehow everyone knew
it was because of me.

What a piece of shit.

Yeah, it was just...
I don't know, it was shitty.

All the students
really loved him,

and it felt like
it was all my fault.

- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.

- You're so sweet.
- No.

Listen, I'm just gonna go
for the minimum amount of time,

and then I will run back
to cuddle and kiss.

Okay? Wait...

Just wait, one more thing.

I have to tell you
one more thing.

- What?
- That I love you forever.

Animals sleep on the ground
because they don't have another option.

We want a comfortable place,
but we just assume they don't?

It's preposterous.

There should be animal beds
every few miles.

Actually, humans are supposed
to sleep on the floor.

You can't just put a mattress
out in the woods. It'll rot.

I think an animal's
more likely to choke

on a mattress spring
rather than sleep on a mattress.

Yes, that will do.

No, Ally, you would test
the elements.

If you... if anyone actually
cared about animals,

they'd figure this out.

But no, of course not.
We have our top minds

creating AI code

that turns a photo of you
into a Renaissance painting.

Like, mine wasn't even good.

I think it's very sweet that
you want to make beds for deer.

Yeah, cause
everything's perfect.

There's no more sexism,
racism, genocide.

All unhoused people
are taken care of.

And the last thing to figure out

is a comfortable
night's sleep for a raccoon.

Um, you can't smoke here.

Oh, I know,
it's just for the aesthetic.

Cigarettes are disgusting.
But it's very French.

Oh, and explain sanpaku to them.

So, sanpaku is when you have,

you see the whites
of your eyes below.

I think, like, the hottest
people have it. I have that.

I don't have sanpaku eyes,

but I do have a mild case of...

You can't really see
right now but when...

Hey, hey, no phones.

- You know the rules.
- Sorry. Sorry, I'm just texting.

I just feel like now
that I'm 26, I can't, like, cry

and have it feel like,
"Oh, you know,

- a young woman is crying."
- Sorry, okay.

Thank you.

So, I brought Julie
to my, you know,

my little thing
that I do every week.

She didn't speak.
She didn't mutter a word.

I was like,
"Why would I bring you here,

you're like a dead corpse?"

I'd rather not have friend...

I'd rather act like
I didn't have friends.

Silent but sweet,
like silent but sweet.

But, like, instead,
I bring Julie.

- You get it, right?
- Of course.

I think it's just like... I...

I just think it's so obvious.

Like, okay, so when
you have someone like...

Finn, what is going on?

I should be asking you that.

Asking me what?
I... I'm at dinner,

and I look up to see
your friend spying on me.

Harrison's not spying on you.

He texted me a photo
about running into you there.

Okay, well, then,
why wouldn't he just come up

and say hi to me
like a normal person?

Because he's shy.

And plus, if you weren't
doing anything wrong,

then what's wrong with him
taking a photo of you?

I really should not have to
explain why that's bothersome.

Is Lucas there?

Why are you asking me that
like you didn't just see

a photo of us at the same table?

Well, you're sitting
awfully close

to him, don't you think?

You mean next to him?

Yeah, yeah, Finn,

I'm sitting next to my friend
at a dinner table.

- This is crazy.
- Don't call me crazy.

Don't even insinuate
that I am crazy,

because you have no idea
what goes on in my head!

Okay.

Okay, I'm... I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry.

I just find it disrespectful,
that's all.

You find what disrespectful?

That you're so close to a guy

who's obviously
in love with you.

Lucas is not in love with me.

I see things
that you don't, okay?

Imagine how you would feel
if I left you alone

to go to dinner with some girl
you knew was in love with me.

Yeah, that would be
really shitty,

but that's not what's happening.

The only women
that have my number

are women that I work with,
‘cause I changed it when we met

so that you would
never feel uncomfortable.

Like, what have you done for me?

What?

Yeah, but you don't
even post me anymore.

I barely post.

And I planned a whole night
for you, like, two days ago.

Oh.

The sleepover?

Mackenzie, that is embarrassing.
I'm an adult.

Okay, well, I'm sorry
I'm a normal person

and not, like, a producer
on The Bachelor.

I... I...

I can't... I have to go.

Okay? I have to go.

Are you seriously gonna hang up?

I'm not hanging up.

I'm telling you
that I'm leaving.

There's a difference, okay?

Go. Have fun!

I'll be sitting here
doing nothing like always!

Yeah, rest assured, it will
be nearly impossible for me

to have fun
after this conversation.

Why are you being
so mean to me?!

I don't get it!
I'm so nice to you!

You should be
treating me like a king!

You know how many women
would want to date me?

Any other guy
would be texting girls,

and probably cheating on you.

On you, especially.

What is that supposed to mean?

- Mackenzie, we never have sex.
- We have sex.

- Since when is this an issue?
- Since always.

Am I the only one
in this relationship?

My friends think it's so fucked
up the way that you treat me.

I mean, their girlfriends
have sex with them every day.

What... They said that?

I think you've
given me head, like, twice.

I hate this so much.

Why are you doing this
right now?

- Well, because it's a problem.
- We can have sex more.

Okay? We'll have sex more.

What do you want me to do
about this right now?

All I want you to know is that
I'm not happy or satisfied.

Well, I'll fucking blow you
when I get home, okay?

Are you happy now?

I hate my life!

Jesus!

- Script of True West?
- Well, I rewrote it.

I... I had rewritten it,
and I just thought

that we could, like, put on
a production in the apartment.

- It was good.
- Can you pass me that?

I'm sorry to interrupt.
Is one of you Mackenzie?

- Yeah.
- Your boyfriend's on the phone.

Oh, my God. I'm... I'm so sorry.

I... I'll call him back
from my phone. That's...

- Sorry about that.
- Seriously, what is happening?

He's locked out
of his apartment.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

It's not a big deal. Calm down.

No, I have to go.
This is so twisted.

I just wanted to talk.
Stop freaking out.

You're the one
who's freaking out!

Relax. Breathe. It's okay.

What do you want?

I wanna know if you still
want to be with me.

Yes, I do.

Just stop, please stop.

What's taking so long?
When are you gonna be home?

Twenty minutes.

Okay, I'll see you
in 20 minutes.

I'm turning off my phone.
We don't get along right now.

Hey, you okay?

Oh, yeah. I...

I'm fine.

Hong Kong.

What do you think?

I don't know.

What's wrong?

What? Nothing.

Everything's fine.

- How is it fine?
- Because it is.

You don't think that you'd be
better off without me?

No.

'Cause I have problems.

No, I don't think that.

And that all I do
is cause you trouble.

That's not true.

And I'm sorry if me hanging out
with Lucas upsets you.

I can understand that.
But you can't just be...

breaking shit.

It's my shit. I paid for it.

Besides, what the fuck
do you care anyway?

Look, maybe I should...

Maybe I should move
my week around.

- No.
- So I can stay longer.

No, no, I... I have
so much work to do.

Honestly, it would just be you
waiting around again.

I don't want to leave when we're
on these terms with each other.

Everything's fine.
Seriously. Nothing's changed.

You should go on your trip.
We're good. I promise.

Well, now it feels like
you're trying to get rid of me.

What?

No. I'm... I'm not.

Something's up.

You're just being paranoid.

And... and I'm... I'm...
I'm gonna get

a new number today.

You don't have to do that.
Just...

I want to. Cause I... I just,
I wanna make you feel

as secure as you make me feel.

You promise you don't look
at me differently?

I promise.

I hate being away from you.
All I do is think about you.

I'm so lucky.

Nobody has what we have.
It's so special.

So real.

So real.

Hi, baby. Sorry, my phone
was in the other room.

- What's up?
- Hi, Angel.

Just wanted to say
I miss you already.

Oh, I miss you too.

I was just about
to hop in the shower.

Can I give you a call
a little later?

- Yeah. I love you.
- I love you more.

- You know...
- What?

I probably should
inspect you for ticks.

- Oh, is that so?
- Yeah.

We were kind of reckless
out there.

- Yeah?
- No ticks there.

Fuck, that's fucking good.

Kenz! Our little
city hall staffer.

Wow, you gonna wear
a pantsuit on your first day?

What do you think?

Yeah, I haven't thought
that far ahead.

- I am excited, though.
- You totally deserve this.

I mean, not really.

What are you talking about,
our little staffing vix,

you've been working
your ass off.

Every law student in,
like, a 300-mile radius

applied for this job.
I'm just the only one

whose boyfriend knows
a councilperson.

But it is my dream,

so I'm just trying
to go with it.

How is the boyfriend?

He's good. He's really good.

Even today?

What is that supposed to mean?

You know, just because...

he has a tendency
of ruining special

or important days,
like... even Christmas.

I mean, if it was bad
all the time,

obviously I wouldn't
put up with it,

but we've been really good.

We have.

You guys don't see
the other sides of him

that I do, you know?

And it's not like
I'm the easiest person

to be in a relationship
with, either.

He makes a lot of sacrifices
to be with me.

Like what?

Maybe you like
how much he needs you.

Maybe it makes you feel special.

Maybe you don't know
what it's like

to be in a real relationship.

Actually, I'm dating someone
who's really nice,

and doesn't even
have social media.

Which you'd know, obviously,
if you weren't so consumed

by your "real relationship."

That's really great, Ally.
Who is it?

Let's just say
he's basically Ponyboy.

Ponyboy's 13.

Not anymore.

I swear to God,
I once saw him light a cigarette

with no hands and no fire.

You swear to God on that?

Lucas is dating someone, too.

- You are?
- Trying not to jinx it,

so I'm not gonna talk about it.

Do you not have your phone?
Finn just texted me.

Oh, I just probably
don't have service. Sorry.

He just texted me, too.

Wow. What's with all the tech?

I like to have it
with me just in case.

Just in case of what?

What do you think?

Oh, iCloud?

I'm so scared of iCloud.

It's the scariest thing
in the entire world.

Like, do you know
how much shit I've talked?

No, no, no. Do not let
my anxiety give you anxiety.

Fuck. Do you think
I'm a horrible person now

‘cause I just took your anxiety?

You, like, shared an anxiety
and I was like,

"No, me, I'm anxious too."

No, it'll just
give me more anxiety

if I made you think
you should have anxiety.

If all your devices
are with you,

do you think you're just,
like, multiplying

the chances of your devices
overhearing you?

Like, wouldn't that
give you more anxiety?

I think for me that would
give me more anxiety...

I... I thought...

I thought you would want
to celebrate the job with me.

And for you to go out with them,

it just feels like betrayal.

I'm hurt.

It just makes me mad.

They're not good friends to you.

The only reason
why they keep you around

is because you're
the only person

nice enough to tolerate them.

If my friends didn't like you,

I wouldn't be able
to be friends with them.

All I do is nice things.
I'm like the nicest guy ever.

You know, I've been talking
to my therapist.

She says you not telling me
these things

really triggers
my abandonment issues.

She says the way
that you treat me is fucked up.

She says you're
a bad girlfriend.

Feels like
an inappropriate thing

for a therapist to say.

Mackenzie, she has a degree.

Would you rather me ask
my two jobless loser friends

what they think
of our relationship?

I forgot I can't be honest
about how I'm feeling.

Because if I have
any feelings, I'm scary.

I'm the one whose girlfriend
is dressed like a whore.

If you want Lucas to fuck you
so bad, maybe you should leave

a little bit more
up to his imagination.

Sorry, I want to cry

because everyone hates me
for no reason and my life sucks!

I can't do this anymore, Finn.
I can't.

Oh, God. What?

What are you
talking about, Mackenzie?

We're just talking.

No, we're not just talking!

Just break up
with me, Mackenzie.

If I'm so fucking horrible,
break up with me.

Why are you crying?

Nothing bad has
ever happened to you

in your entire life, has it?

It's always something.
I just... I can't...

I can't do anything right.
I can't...

I love you.
I really, really love you.

But I'm never gonna be able
to make you happy.

Oh, God.

What?

I bet you led your professor on.

Just like you led me on.

And now you're ruining my life
like you ruined his.

- You fucking hit me in the face!
- I know.

- I don't know why.
- I would never hit you in a million years.

No, I don't know
what came over me.

I think I was just
trying something new.

You were trying something new?!

- Get the fuck away from me!
- I'm sorry.

- Baby, you hit me in the face.
- I know. I'm sorry.

- Oh, my God.
- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Wow. Look who it is.

Hey.

- Finals?
- Yeah. I'm fucked.

Are you the kind of person that
does what they need to pass,

or overwork, say you're fucked,
and then get an A?

I oscillate between the two.

You'll be fine.

Where you been? You've been
ghosting me pretty hard.

Uh, I got a new number.

Too many crazy stalkers?

What is it?

- What?
- Your number.

Here you go.

- It was nice to see you.
- Yeah, you too.

Text message from Finn,

heart emoji, best boyfriend
in the world.

What's with the hi?

Please don't mess
with my head today.

Would you like to reply?

Message from Finn,

heart emoji
best boyfriend in the world.

Why even text if you're
not going to respond.

Would you like to reply?

Reply.

I'm sorry, exclamation point.
I meant it like a sweet hi.

Exclamation point,
exclamation point.

Send.

Text message from Finn,

heart emoji, best boyfriend
in the world.

K.

Sorry. I was distracted
in the library.

- How are you feeling, baby?
- You good?

Yeah. Why?

- You sound weird.
- How can I sound weird?

I haven't even
said anything yet.

I can't say anything right.

Please don't start something,
I'm too sad.

No, no, I wasn't...
I wasn't starting something.

I'm sorry. I thought you were
trying to start something.

Let's start over.
What are you up to today?

I don't know.

I thought you were gonna
fly out and surprise me.

- Why would you think that?
- I don't know.

I feel like if it was reversed
and I saw how upset I made you,

I probably would have gotten on the
next flight to prove I'm there for you.

I'm not the one
making you feel this way.

I love you, and I'm doing
everything I can to prove it to you.

You just need to trust me.

Well, that's pretty pathetic,

if that's everything.

Best way to prove it
is to be here with me.

Sorry, I just got your text.

Um, totally get it, obviously.

I just wish you could be there,

but I'll see you
when you're back.

Love you.

We love you.

We love you.
Happy, happy birthday.

- Happy birthday.
- Cheers.

- You ever heard of it?
- No.

Okay, I'm gonna give you
the Finn special.

Thank you so much.

I'm gonna get it
all deep in your locks.

- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, you're good at that.
- It's good.

- Is it all on my face, too?
- It's everywhere.

- Oh, good.
- Yeah.

Hey, um...

I didn't force you
to come out here, did I?

No.

- Fuck, I did, didn't I?
- No, come on.

I wouldn't be here
if I didn't want to be.

- You promise?
- I promise.

- You pinky promise?
- Pinky promise.

You know you're
the world to me, right?

Yeah.

You know I'll do
anything for you?

Alright...

Hey, uh, can I...
can I borrow your phone?

My service is whack.

Yeah, sure.

You scared me.

They didn't answer.

Oh, okay.

Mac.

Mackenzie! Wake up.

Oh, my God, what the...
What happened?

- What time is it?
- Who's Lindsey?

What?

Don't play dumb with me.
I've had enough of that.

Who...

is... Lindsey?

She's... she's just a girl
from my study group.

Uh-huh.

What's a girl doing from
your study group texting you,

"What are you up to?"
at 2:00 in the morning?

I... I don't know.
She's a strange person.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I called Lindsey.

Are you gonna be honest
with me now?

Yeah?

I ran into him at the library...

- Ugh!
- ...and he just wanted

the new number, and I...

I didn't know how to say no,

- so I gave it to him.
- Oh, fuck.

And I was afraid

that you would freak out
about it,

so I... I just saved it
as "Lindsey."

- And I...
- Ugh!

I was seeing him
before we even met,

but I wasn't going
to text him back.

I never was gonna text him back.

And I know... I know
it sounds bad, but I...

Shh!

You're a liar!

I tell you when a girl
even fucking looks at me!

Steve Jobs' hot daughter DM'd me
on Instagram, and I blocked her!

I'm the most fucking
honest guy ever! Fuck!

You saved his number as a girl!

What the fuck
am I supposed to think?

I mean, I would never

in a million years
do this to you.

- Ever!
- I know, you're right.

You wouldn't. You wouldn't.

I... You must have
flirted with him.

Otherwise, he wouldn't
have texted you.

I swear, I would
never do anything to hurt you.

I swear.

I... I can't believe
you called him.

I didn't call him!

I didn't fucking call him.

But it's good to know
what I have to do

to get some fucking honesty
around here.

You fucking lied to me
when you didn't tell me

you ran into him at the library.

You lied to me when you saved
his number as "Lindsey."

And then you fucking lied
to my face twice

when I asked you
about it just now.

I'm sorry, please,

- I'm sorry.
- Oh, God.

No, I'm sorry, please.

You're the best thing that's
ever happened to me, okay?

And I just made a stupid
mistake, that's all, okay?

You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

Please forgive me.

I can't do this.
I can't do this.

Finn?

Hey. What are you...

What are you doing?

Please stop it, please.

I don't wanna do it.

I can't do it.

What a moron I am.

I can't believe I wasted
all this time on such a bitch.

What the fuck?

What are you...
What are you doing?

Don't come any closer to me.

Please stop,
it's not funny, please.

I don't think it's funny.

I wrote a suicide note
on my phone.

Everyone's gonna know
this is your fault.

Please, I'll do anything.
I'll do anything.

Please, just come inside.

Finn, stop.

It's too late.

Please get down.

Just the sound of your voice...

I don't wanna do it.

Don't answer that.

Don't fucking answer that.

Don't answer that.

Finn.

Hey, how's it goin'?

Are you okay?

We've been receiving
complaints about your room.

Oh, did I make too much noise?

I'm so sorry.

I-I-I did break a couple things.

Of course,
I'll pay for everything.

Actually, um...

I'm really appreciative
of what you guys do.

Uh, so if there's any...

Is this, is this against
hotel policy?

I... I'm just really...

- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

Um, for you, if you...
if you want it.

I have to go.

I love you so much.

Please let me go.

Yeah. Door's open.

♪ I can buy myself flowers ♪

♪ Write my name in sand ♪

♪ Talk to myself for hours ♪

♪ Say things
you don't understand ♪

♪ I can take myself dancing ♪

Look who's here! Thank God.

Ice cream. How are we doing?

So good.

- I'm vegan this week.
- Yeah, well, I'm paleo.

I'm ano.

It's for the vibes.
Like, breakup vibes.

- Yeah.
- Ice cream.

- Yes!
- No, I don't want to break up.

He was the best boyfriend ever,
and I'm just a cold person

who doesn't know
how to love anyone.

Um...

You are not cold.

You are definitely not cold.

You're warm and cozy
like this blanket.

And you're all bundled.
Bundled up and...

If I didn't do things
that hurt him,

everything would be fine.

- Oh, God.
- Everything hurt him.

Literally everything hurt him.

- What if he jumped?
- He didn't jump.

He's gonna be
on the news tonight

just like he always is, okay?

I lied.

I gave another guy my number,
and then I lied about it.

I'd be really upset
if he did that,

but he would never do that.

- Ally?
- Yeah?

Why is there a phone
in the freezer?

Yeah, it's my old phone.

I'm scared of people
listening in.

You think the feds give a fuck

whether or not you're
a soft summer or a true autumn?

I'm a dark winter.

No one's ever gonna love me
that much ever again.

Let's focus on the positive
here, okay? Shall we?

- Let's refocus.
- Yeah.

First...

You are about to get
so freaking hot

- from this breakup.
- So hot.

- Let's go. Let's go.
- Okay?

Like the worse the breakup,
the hotter you get.

- Everyone knows that.
- Everybody knows it.

And you already look good.

It's like very...

Indie sleaze.

I'm grotesque.

- "Thank you," period.
- Don't.

Sorry.

I regret it.

I fucked up. I really fucked up.

No, you... No.

- You didn't fuck up.
- I'm a hypocrite.

All he ever wanted
was reassurance,

and the only reason
I didn't need that from him

was because
he constantly gave it.

- Nope.
- I miss him.

- I need him.
- No,

I'm running out of ways
to say no here.

He was so hot.

He... He was hot.

Oh, um...

I was just motioning for you
to pass my vape.

It's on your side of the bed.

Thanks.

Um, that's mine.

♪ All of my free days
on the water ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

♪ On salt and sand ♪

♪ Said you wouldn't come ♪

♪ But I knew
you'd give that up ♪

♪ Your silhouette is burned
into my head ♪

♪ Give me one more day ♪

♪ Stay here till we fade ♪

♪ Give me just
one more day away ♪

We're sorry.

You have reached a number that
has been disconnected or...

Tonight, with us
is Finn Grantham

in with a new edition
of the evening news.

I am incredibly excited today...

...for several reasons.

And a little tired
of living through

so many unprecedented events.

But alas, I leave
the viewers tonight...

I love you, Jenny.

What the fuck?!

♪ We've been on the phone ♪

♪ All night long ♪

♪ I'm singin' you the words ♪

♪ To your favorite song ♪

♪ You wouldn't do
the same for me ♪

♪ If I called you up at 3:00 ♪

♪ You'd probably see my number ♪

♪ And just let it ring ♪

♪ Well, fuck that ♪

♪ Fuck that, fuck that ♪

♪ Fuck that, fuck that ♪

♪ Fuck that, fuck that ♪

♪ Fuck that ♪

♪ You'll get the busy tone ♪

♪ No, this is not a joke ♪

♪ I'm not playin' nice ♪

♪ You call me once
call me twice ♪

♪ But on the third time ♪

♪ I'll change my number
change my life ♪

♪ Now I'm sleepin'
all day, baby ♪

♪ 'Cause I stayed up
the whole night ♪

♪ You've been callin'
too much lately ♪

♪ Next time you hit my line
I'll say fuck that ♪

♪ Fuck that
fuck that, fuck that ♪

♪ Fuck that, fuck that
fuck that, fuck that ♪

♪ Fuck that ♪

♪ Fuck that, fuck that ♪

♪ Fuck that, fuck that ♪

♪ Fuck that,
fuck that, fuck that ♪

♪ Now I'm sleepin'
all day, baby ♪

♪ 'Cause I stayed up
the whole night ♪

♪ You've been callin'
too much lately ♪

♪ Next time you hit my line ♪

♪ I'll say fuck that ♪

♪ I'll say fuck that ♪

♪ I'll say fuck that ♪