Original subtitles

You can't go in

What are you doing?

Dang-dang. hurry

Hurry, Daddy...

Let me go first

H urry, Daddy...

You're a woman

Too bad you can't pee like us

Let's have a contest

Don't make a mess

You'll get my shoes wet!

Dang-dang, take a bath

Let me wash you, Daddy

No, I'll wash you

Alright!

Do it slowly

Don't move...

You're so diny!

Wash up!

Hurry!

That tickles!

Alright... it's done

Ok, do it yourself

Sure!

Where are my underpants?

How pathetic!

I should enjoy your thoughtfulness

I'll wear red today

I want a divorce

What?

I want a divorce

You know very well...

I'm done, Daddy! Come get me!

Come get me, Daddy...

What is it?

You can't come in!

You're early!

Hold the button...

What is it?

Wait for me downstairs

Let g0!

What happened?

You can't come up yet

Bao-er, you're pathetic

I knew you'd take the stairs

What man are you trying to hide from me?

They're naked

Did you want something? You're here early!

I thought you wanted me here

I get no thanks

They? How many?

5! They're all naked!

You're crazy!

That's my sexual fantasy

Why don't you turn on the lights?

The switch is too far away

1, 2...

Liang Bao-er, welcome to our

forever happy single women's club

Who prepared all the food?

Luo-shan, of course

She's very picky with food

Help yourself

I'm very practical

I'll forget about my diet today

Terry, can you open that?

Just like a man gushing out

Be more civilized

Thanks

When are you signing?

The lawyer said 3 weeks

How is Dang-dang taking it?

Maybe since Derek and I didn't fight

he has no idea it's that bad!

He thinks living with my Mom is a holiday

He's excited

and hapPY

The flat was a part of your dowry

How come Derek is staying

and you have to move?

What about the rent?

There's no privacy living with your Mom!

Isn't that a hassle?

I can't just kick him out

He'll move

Besides, I don't want to live there

The flat is diny

Think! I still remember

Last year when we went to Japan with Dang-dang

Sha-niu must have spent the night there

Didn't you tell us

Derek is careful enough

to change the sheets before you come home

He's not like that

Believe it or not

I bet that woman will move in with him

Bao-er and Derek are separated

Bao-er, is your Mom going through menopause?

Can you give me more information?

I want to know if women in menopause

are emotionally unstable

I have it all figured out

I'll reach menopause by 1997

I can't believe you'd think of that

I can find out for you, but I'll charge you

I'm telling the truth

I told you it'll cost you

Let's talk over there

Come...

A toast to single women's happiness

Cheers...

Sometimes I think

almost all my girlfriends are divorced

Not me!

You're worse! Your husband is dead!

Any drinks in the kitchen?

Champagne and white wine, help yourself!

We'll get blasted tonight!

Yes...

Did I tell you what happened 3 years ago

when I got my divorce?

Many times! Don't say it!

Yes!

Terry, you haven't heard that story

Let me tell you

Just like Bao-er's husband

I found out he was fooling around

And he demanded a divorce

so I agreed

After we signed the papers

He was gentleman enough to treat me to a dinner

Guess what he said to me?

What?

He wanted a goodbye shag!

Did you agree?

Of course not!

You only wanted to die!

I remember when you came home

You were furious

and cried in front of us!

You're lying

Don't deny it!

What?

What's wrong, Li-jun?

Don't cry!

Tell us!

Lean on me, Li-jun!

You'll feel much better

I remember when I got my divorce

I moved to a new place with my daughter

I asked her what she wanted to buy

She said she wanted her father

I'm fine!

Really! Let's have a drink!

She's like that every time

Slut!

Stop it!

Let's not talk about divorce

children, husband or family

Li He Chang-e

Let's tell them diny jokes

okaY

Thank God I didn't cry

Lin-lin tells me you're the toughest

Terry, can you open the champagne?

Sure!

What are you looking at?

What?

Abdominal muscles

I've been working out

Well?

Where's Bao-er?

In the bathroom

ls she crying?

Bao-er!

Love is over, please don't bring it up

Forget the love that's dead

Love is over, please don't explain

Like the clouds, let it disappear

Love is over, though it's a shame

and I have cried, it's in the past

Love is over

When you were out

He wanted to watch TV

and he went to bed after a while

Hungry? Shall I fix you something?

I had buffet

Western food can hardly be called filling

You never made any noise before

This is the fun part

It's better this way

I found out today

Zhu Lin-lin told everyone I'm tough

That makes me mad

I put up with everything while I was married

I had to fan in the bathroom

lest he think I'm crude

How pathetic!

The trouble you've taken

Does Derek know?

He won't be fooling around if he did

If you still love each other

Splitting up over a woman

is definitely not worth it

But if for the past 8 years

You feel deprived

and you don't want to be together

Then you should split up

Let's not talk about this

I was with my friends tonight

I had a good time

I'm sorry, Mom

What for? You must be drunk!

I'm the first to get a divorce

and I refuse to come live with you

After your father died

I didn't want to live with anyone

I already told you

I don't want to live with you

I was afraid I wasn't refined enough

to go fan in the toilet

Don't make fun of me!

You were happily married to Dad

Did he ever fool around?

I don't know! Maybe I was lucky

What about you?

Once

Who was it? When? Did Dad know?

No, maybe he was lucky too

Miss Liu, where is Dang-dong?

Mrs. Sun, he left

Mr. Sun picked him up

Didn't you know?

Where should the sofa go?

Have you decided?

I don't want to damage anything

We can't pay for them

Here!

Here? As Shakespeare would say:

As you like it

Not bad!

In my village I'm considered quite educated

but I'm just a laborer

I'm only a worker

so I pretend to be educated

Excuse me, Madam

Look, Mom my!

Daddy bought me this!

Bye. Daddy!

Bye!

Nice sofa!

I already told you

You must tell me before you see Dang-dang

I'm free today, so we had lunch

This is your favorite

Smile!

I know you act on an impulse

But you must have my permission

You want to fight now?

We agreed when you can see Dang-dang

No! You decided, I didn't agree

I'm telling you, I'm not refined

That sofa is ugly

Well?

Move them here!

0k!

Move them over there

Again?

Like this?

Set them straight!

Ok! I'll pay for that!

Is that your ex?

Yes, Shakespeare!

Did Daddy buy you this? Or Auntie?

Daddy!

Finish your homework first

What happened?

It fell down!

Why don't you eat vegetables?

Don't you like the fish eye?

What?

Auntie told Daddy to buy me the toy

It was you! You drove him away!

I thought you're not eating that!

Don't look!

This is 33 Robinson Road

Someone is injured in a car accident

Please send someone over!

I'm scared...

Don't be, it's alright

Let me hold you, it's alright...

Adults are stupid sometimes

They do things to hurt themselves

I don't want to die

You won't!

But people can go to Heaven

I don't want to go to Heaven

Me neither!

You stink...you're so diny

Stinky kid...

You smell...

Stinky kid...

What does he look like?

Hurry up! Tell us!

Hurry!

He's quite dashing

But he's going bald

If he's that good

will you loan him to Bao-er?

His name is Sha Yun-tong

I'm Zhu Lin-lin

If I marry him

They'll call me Sha Zhu Lin-lin

How revolting!

But Sha Liang Bao-er is fine with me

Women are so tacky

In this day and age

They still carry their husband's name

Li He Chang-e, Zhou Liang Shu-yi

Vicky Li Liang

That guy is staring at us

Don't look!

He's cute!

He's a gigolo

and serves only Japanese women

What a shame!

Is that Sha Yun-tong coming or not?

Sorry, I'm late

I thought you chickened out

This is Li He Chang-e

Li-jun, Luo-shan and Liang Bao-er

Sha Yun-tong was my ex-boyfriend

You flatter me

You never gave me a chance

I don't want to be Sha Zhu Lin-lin

It's destiny

What would you like?

Mineral water

Sure!

Are you scared? So many women staring at you

Men used to stare at women

Now it's their turn! It's fair

What's the first thing you look at?

Which pan?

What do we look at?

You already know the answer

I'd like to know

What do you look at in a man?

Let me speak first

I look at his body

He must be strong

I hate men with slender hands

like women's

I like them thick and strong

What about you, Li-jun?

Tell us

Say it! What's the matter?

Say it!

Hurry UP!

LHun!

Hurry!

I like men with hairy chest

See? You're making fun of me

My turn...l like a man's lips

And you, Bao-er?

I like tiny butts

I like that in a woman as well

I also like a man's sweat

especially with a bit of French cologne

Does that hun?

No!

I haven't played in a while, I'm terrible

Sorry, it's my fault!

I was in the wrong place! Are you alright?

I'm fine!

Why aren't you married?

Hard to find the right woman

What is it?

That woman's butt is nice

Nothing special!

I'm serving...

You're right

Hard to find the right woman

Mom my!

Grandma, Mommy is home!

Mrs. Sun

I have never met you

I made chicken

I ordered groceries. Let me pay Chang

You're the store owner's son?

Yes, I help my father with deliveries

You Play?

Grade 4

I'm leaving, Mrs. Sun

Bye, Dang-dang!

Bye. Chang!

Come play with me again

Do come again!

Bye!

Please wait! I won't be long

Sure!

Daddy...

Daddy...

Ding-dang!

Auntie!

Good boy!

Mrs. Sun...Miss Liang, please sit down

I'm fine!

I made soup, would you like some?

Sha-niu, is that Dang-dang?

Dang-dang

Daddy...

Give me a kiss

Do you miss me?

Yes!

Really?

Have you been good?

Yes!

Come with Daddy...

Yes

I'll get you a bowl...

I came to check the mail

You have 2 letters

I took care of the bills

Here...

Happy now?

It's just a vacation for the mind

Sorry, I have listed the flat

Someone will come look at it

I hope to sell it by next month

I found a place

I can move out next week

Ding-dang, I'll give you our new number

Call us when you're free

Want some hot and sour soup?

It's too sour!

Would you like some?

Too hot? Or too sour?

Dang-dang, have some soup with me!

Come!

Drink it slowly

Come on!

I'll get it...

Thanks!

You're sure you don't want any?

Bitch

ls it good?

Yes!

I don't want it

Let's go

say goodbye!

Bye. Daddy!

Get your schoolbag!

Bye!

Let me drive you

Don't bother

Ding-dang, I'll make you soup that's not sour

You can't drink her soup

you'll pee at night

You don't need a lift?

No!

Great! You curse without using a diny word

Bye. Daddy!

Bye!

Is this nice?

Open your mouth!

What is it?

Birth control pills

What?

I'll need them if you don't want kids

Have some more soup!

No need, I swallowed it

You're crazy!

You're making me impotent!

You want it rough or gentle?

Not too rough, not too gentle

Luo-shan, it's Bao-er

I saw that woman when I checked my mail

She tried to kiss up to Dang-dang

Call me when you get home

I'll tell you more later

Luo-shan, it's Li n-l i n

Terry said there are new arrivals

at her boutique in a few days

Let's go take a look

Have some fun even if we're not buying

Call me!

She just woke up!

Don't be long!

Luo-shan

Thanks for saving my life

Thank God you called me

You saved yourself

Among this lot

Terry is the toughest

What's with the long faces?

What's going on?

Luo-shan is fine!

Don't cry! I can't stand this!

Listen, I never cry

I'll tell you a diny joke

I have one too

I'll tell you some day

Life is such a waste

I have no husband and no kids

So I wanted to end it all

But it's strange

Just when I'm going

I feel it's even more of a waste to die

so...

Where's Bao-er?

What is it?

Don't cry, Luo-shan is alive!

How can Derek fall for that woman?

Here...

Come!

Scared?

No!

Ding-dang!

Dang-dang!

Stop it! He can see us

Didn't you say

you like it when I behave like a beast?

I'm a beast, give me a hug...a kiss

Turn our home into a cage

Close the door and draw the curtains

Let people smell

the smell of love making

Dang-dang! Look over here...

Bao-er, I wrote this when I was 22

But now I find it rather disgusting

Keep it or burn it as you see fit

Making love on the ceiling

Who's on top? You have to watch from the ceiling

I'm willing to build you a new universe

but you'd rather rent a cheaper one

Boss!

What do you need, Mrs. Sun?

Sugar

Sure!

I love Fei Yu-qing

Chang thinks we should go with the times

or we'll be passe

Then turn this into a supermarket

Where's Chang?

He's quite good with the piano

You flatter him! He's in the back potting plants

He can pot plants?

Just kids stuff

Chang!

Mrs. Sun!

Potting plants?

Yes!

I brought these from my trips

There are extra tin cans

from the store

I'm recycling them

These are your designs?

Yes! I gave each plant a name

Tell me about them

Sure!

The 6th Fleet

the U.S. fleet stationed in the Mediterranean

Not bad! What about that one?

Modern Antenna

It took me forever to come up with that

And this one?

Fat Lady's Poo Poo

Nice! But a bit crude!

Think of a more elegant name

Why don't you do it?

Fat Lady's Poo Poo is better

Tonight we'll roast a chicken

a big one that weighs 3 catties

Do you like that, Ding-dang?

I'll make you chicken next time

Bye!

Do you like Sha-niu?

Yes

But I don't want her to call me Ding-dang

My name is Dang-dang

Next time I see her

I'll tell her

When you get home after school

Do you get bored?

Other than Mommy and Grandma

Who else is there with you?

Chang plays with me

Chang?

He taught me how to play the piano

He sounds amazing! Does he play squash?

I don't know! He didn't say

But Chang is really amazing

Alright

Where should I put this?

In my room

Try it over there!

Must be Dang-dang! Wait here

Mom my!

Chang is in my room

Chang!

Dang-dang said Chang is quite refined

You should be pleased

See you at the lawyer's office on Wednesday

I won't be late!

You love me, you love me not

You love me, you love me not

All these grey hair!

Thinking about your wife?

You love me, you love me not

Does it hun?

Who is that?

My ex

Derek!

Can't stand that woman

We're not like her

We scream in our room

She screams in public

I don't dare to scream in my room

I bet

you're only yourself

when you're with us

Bao-er, what are you waiting for?

I don't mind flaunting my figure

Sha-niu!

In here...

There's diny laundry in the bathroom

Steak for breakfast?

If you have money, I'll have steak everyday

if not, I'll have congee

I won't use this to test you

I won't let my woman suffer

I really want to have your child

I know you can have a dozen

But you only love Ding-dang

and you miss your wife

What do you mean?

I'm afraid you'll go back to her

What wife? We're signing tomorrow

I saw the way she looked at you

I'm afraid she'll come back

Beasts are not afraid!

Watch it! I have to wear this to work!

When you come home from work

Pretend you have another girlfriend

I'll pretend to be jealous, alright?

Alright!

Miss Su

Please bring me those clothes

Sure!

This one fits you, try it

Alright!

Anything for me?

Call Shi...

Shi who?

Shi Meng-ping

Shi Meng-ping

That's a romantic name

You have quite an eye

Hurry up and call him...

You're so nosy

You can try it now

N ow?

I want this one

You go crazy when you see new clothes

You always have to go first!

I want one too

I'll wear this later

to see Li-jun's boyfriend

That's too much!

Don't upstage her

Let me help you

No!

You can't wear that kind of underwear

Do you always seduce women

at a time like this?

Sometimes! Depends on the target

I'm not your type

I saw your eyes at the pool

I'm not used to this

Derek was your first man

Let me be your first woman

Sorry, I prefer men

I see

Sorry!

Hurry!

He is here

Sorry, we're late

I'm Lin-lin, that's Terry

Li He Chang-e and Liang Bao-er

The usual, Mrs. Li?

What do we usually order?

Chocolate ice cream for Mrs. Li

Orange squash, coffee, mineral water

Give her a slice of lemon

Sure!

You don't come here often

Expecting one more?

I'll have mineral water too

Sure!

You're all regulars around here

I grew up with Liao Xiong-bing

But he's an artist

I'm a businessman

Many artists

like the businessmafls money

and businessman like our freedom

Right...

Let's begin to grade him

What?

They came to see you

We're only judging by appearance

so don't worry

No need to sit up straight!

Right!

Go ahead, Terry

I give all men 5

Does that mean I fail?

No, she gave Jackie Chan the same

I give you 9 points

Really? ls he that good?

Look at his strong hands

That alone is worth 9 points

My legs are as firm as my hands

Do I get the extra point to make a perfect 10?

No!

Stop this nonsense, Li He Chang-e

If his hands are worth 9 points

Give him that extra point

I already said no

You only look at his hands and feet

I'm giving him 7

but that slice of lemon

has earned him 3 more

That's inner beauty

I'll give you 10 for your body

Do you have a hairy chest?

You like hairy chests

I'll dock 3 points if you don't

There you go again! Hogging the limelight

We're only looking at appearance

Something doesn't meet the eyes

What type of an do you fancy?

Stones!

Stones?

He has a exhibition hall of stones

Really?

Can we take a look?

Sure!

I'd like to go too

Let's go after dinner tonight

But I already have a date

Otherwise I'd like to come too

Don't worry, there's white wine

What a hypocrite!

It'll kill you

She's worse than me!

He's cursing me! How vicious!

Are you signing tomorrow?

When I heard you give all men 5 points

I knew you're honest

Soaml

Can I ask you something?

Yes!

You don't like men?

Yes!

I have a fantasy

I fantasize

about having sex with a lesbian

Will you make love to me?

I don't need that piece!

Are there men on eanh

who are as tangible as a rock?

Where can I find one?

It's heavy...l can't lift it

It's heavy!

Where can I find someone like Ti Lung?

Someone nice like him

Or Wu Song?

He kills women

He only kills whores

Listen, all the good men

are either dead or taken

And then there are those who prefer men

Do you like men?

Why do you ask?

I think you do

I'll be honest with you

Actually, sometimes I think...

Let me put it this way

90% of me likes women

10% of me likes men

Will a man treat a woman like a rock

when he holds her in his arms?

Yes!

Eons ago during a matriarchal society

No!

Men like jade

Fair as jade, you know

Jade is breakable

You have already discussed the terms

But I'll go over them again

in front of you

The flat belongs to Mrs. Sun

We're buying our own

Mrs. Sun does not want alimony

but Mr. Sun must pay $2,000 a month

for your son's education

If it's for the kid, he'll pay more

Mr. Sun can visit with the child

but must inform Mrs. Sun beforehand

If Miss Liang re-marries

and the boy doesn't get along with his stepfather...

Can we take the boy back?

What?

Derek, I know you love Dang-dang

but what if she picks the wrong man again!

I don't mean you

What the hell are you saying?

Did you bring her here to insult me?

Bao-e r

This lady may sound harsh

but she has a point

Do you need time to think about this?

No!

No!

Then you can sign

I know how you feel

You were married once

I'd be just as hean broken if I were you

Taxi!

Go ahead!

If he's so gracious...

Get in!

We hailed the taxi!

Will you shut up?

Why should I?

You like it when I'm impulsive

Now I have to shut up in front of your wife?

Bao-e r

You must pay for the damages

Say something! You must pay up!

Fine!

You don't have to yell!

Up...

Up...

Up...

You know each other, Mrs. Sun?

Up...

That's Shakespeare!

Up...

No problem!

Don't worry, I'm here

Wait...let me check

More to the left!

Run!

What's wrong with you?

You could have killed someone

You ruined everything!

It's you! I didn't mean it

I'm sorry!

I'll be right there! I'll pay for everything!

You're in trouble!

You're crying

I don't cry

I must rebuild my home

I changed the carpet

I don't know why

it just won't come off

I don't like to see blood, it's scary

If we could throw out the unhappy things

like we throw out old carpet, thafd be nice

Maybe people like Terry are happier

She should meet someone

Too bad she wants a woman!

I was cleaning things out

I found Derek's poems

I have forgotten he wrote poems

He used to be so sweet

Just like how Chang is now

Men are sweet when they were young

but not any more after they get married

Mom my!

You're still up!

I'm waiting for you

You should be in bed by 9

What time is it now? You have school tomorrow!

Mom my!

Grandma, tell me a story

Hurry! Tell Mommy

What is it?

Good news

Hong Kong isn't revening back to China?

Derek dropped by at 7

So?

He left a while ago

I'm glad

He said he came to see Dang-dang

No, he came to see Mommy

He never waited that long

You're right

How can he sleep tonight?

What did he say?

Mommy! Pick up, it must be Daddy

l-lurl'Y--'

It's for you, it's Derek

It's Daddy, pick up...

Mommy...pick up

Come on

Hello? What is it?

You just came home?

What is it?

At the lawyer's office... don't get me wrong

I didn't mean to bring Sha-niu

Please forgive me

I don't want you to get the wrong idea

I think we can still be friends

Did you return the crystal?

I bought a new one, how embarrassing...

Can I treat you to dinner tomorrow?

I know I'm nothing compared to Chang

This once I just ask for a dinner

Does Sha-niu know about this?

No!

Alrightmwhere?

How about Cui Heng Cun?

Again?

Let's go to Salina

Sure

Tomorrow night at 8

He's meeting me behind Sha-niu's back

Yeah, Mommy is having dinner with Daddy!

Alright, go to bed now

Good night, Mom my

Give me a kiss

ls it fun for men to fool around?

Same for women

ls he fooling around now?

Of course!

I know myself too well

Psychoanalysis is not for me

I'm not an oedipal

I'm not like my mother

I like you

Why? I'm 9 years old than you

I don't know either

Maybe I like mature women

Women with tastes

What's wrong with being mature?

I always like to eat soft things

Poached pears

lard instead of lean pork

Remember this

when you cook for me

Do you have a reservation, sir?

Yes. It's Mr. Sun

This way please

Please sit down

Thanks

Hi

Can I have a different table?

How about by the window?

Sure

Have a seat!

Is he a friend?

My girlfriend's ex

They got divorced just yesterday

He's here to celebrate with his new fling

Actually

if your mind stays young

You won't age so easily

The other method is to practice Qigong

It's particularly effective for women

When I get old, I'll get a face lift

I don't object

Keeping things natural is better, right?

Looking for someone, Miss?

Mr. Sun

Please follow me

Bao-e r

Wait!

Miss Liang, Qiu Fu-sheng

Please sit down!

Please!

You're meeting him? What's going on?

Yes!

He wants to be friends

You just got divorced yesterday

Maybe he wants a goodbye fling

Don't worry, I'm not Zhu Lin-lin

I don't have any for him

Enjoy your dinner, Mr. Qiu

Sure!

I was wrong! He's here with the old flame

She's the girlfriend I told you about

The one who was divorced

They're about the same age

Yet they' re divorced

I'm telling you age is not an issue

It's a matter of whether you're in love

You look lovely

You notice after we're divorced?

It's too late for that

We were too close, I couldn't see clearly

So we should keep our distance

Sorry! I said the wrong thing

What would you like?

We'll have some wine first

Wait!

Sure!

We were married for 8 years

I said and did all the wrong things

I don't love Sha-niu

Tonight I must say the right thing

and do the right thing

Bao-er, I want you back

I know this sounds ridiculous

since we just got divorced

But I really miss you

I want you back

Dang-dang needs a good father

I know I'm not a good father

This is the first time I see you cry

I also cried when Luo-shan tried to kill herself

Look!

What the hell's going on?

Don't cry

Here's your last fling

Sha-niu...

Sha-niu...

Open the window, it stinks...

What happened to you?

You hair is wet!

Forget it! Ran into a lunatic!

Someone like me?

Almost!

Derek!

What?

Come!

What?

What are you doing?

You're crazy!

Here's 8 more pills

I won't eat anymore when I'm done

I want to have a dozen kids

Alright?

If you won't take them, I will

This is Zhu Lin-lin

At the sound of the beep

Leave your name and number

I'll call you back soon

Hey, it's me...pick up!

I'm out

Leave your name and number

I'll call you back soon

I don't understand this

Hello?

Bao-e r

Derek!

I've been thinking... I've decided to call you

Bao-er, about dinner...

I mean what I said

Where are you now?

Home

Sorry!

Just now my friend was out of line

I understand

It was my fault

What if Sha-niu hears you?

Does she know why you're wet?

She's crazy, she doesn't know anything

Bao-er, I want you back

Bao-er...

Sun Zi-wei, Liang Bao-er

You had dinner behind my back! Adulterers!

Derek!

Don't mind her! I've had enough of her!

I'll fix her

Don't do that! Calm down!

When you come for the flat tomorrow

We'll talk

Let's settle this, I'll wait for you

Don't worry, I'm fine! Bye!

Fix her good!

You want to hit me? Come on...

I thought I wasn't good enough for you

But now I know

I'm too good for you!

Adulterer!

You'll both die a horrible death!

I cleaned up the place and took a shower

Everything is clean now

What are you doing here?

I came for my dress

What dress?

The dress you paid $1,000 for it

He said you used to like red

That's right, you like red too?

He'll like anything I like

Now I'm free, I'm so happy

I'll sell it to someone

and get a few hundred dollars back

There! He can't part with it!

That's your husband for you!

You thought I'd lose my temper

Well, you're wrong!

I thought you like it when I acted like a beast

but you prefer ladies after all

You...

Sha-niu

I must change my name

It sounded like piss

I'll walk with you

What about hi m?

I'll keep him if you don't want him

I bet you can't let him go

Want some?

I'll eat anything if I'm upset

You love him?

What about you?

My motive is not as pure

What?

I'm looking for a destination

not something simple like love

But the more I tried to hang onto him

The more he wants you back

Men like him...

I can't even have him

Maybe you're too good for him

Don't rub it in

No

I saw the trouble you've taken

even I can't...

Love him?

It's simple, let yourself go

But you have to put on a show

keep your poise

That's my specialty

That's true!

Sorry, I mean you're perfect for each other

You should be back together

What?

I shouldn't have acted impulsively

I want that dress

Derek!

Derek!

Derek!

Don't scare me, Derek

You asshole!

Where's Sha-niu?

I chased her away

We've been married for 8 years

I haven't even seen your navel

Next time

Again?

Derek!

Don't copy her

She's such a fake!

Dang-dang!

When you eat at home

you can make all the noise you want

But when you go outside

you must mind your manners

Don't make any sound, understand?

Yes, Daddy!

Eat, but quietly!

Let me...

Sorry!

I'm late with the delivery

It's alright

We ran out of rice, so I called Chang

Mrs. Sun

Chang!

Chang, meet my Daddy!

He moved back with us

Mr. Sun

Chang, let's play the piano

Sure!

That's Chang?

Are we good, Daddy?

Let him be jealous

Don't let Dang-dang near him

He's a bad influence

Chang is a nice boy, he doesn't even swear

Who would swear in front of you?

Are you jealous?

A bit

Derek!

Remember those poems you wrote?

What?

Poems! The poems you wrote

Boys like to write poems at 15 or 16

My dear

You were 22

Don't rub it in

What do you see in Sha-niu?

I thought we agreed not to talk about her

I acted on an impulse

Tell me now and we'll forget about it

Alright, we join in the fun on occasions

Business gatherings are unavoidable

Honestly, I was never in love with her

But you couldn't stand it and wanted a divorce

Right?

Join in the fun? Were there others?

No

Just Sha-niu?

That type of woman

Will there be more like her?

Bao-e r

"l swear you are my only beloved wife"

Does this look like a poem?

Let me down...

Alright...

Chang...

Be careful, Dang-dang!

Chang!

Dang-dang!

Remember when we were dating

I had my arm around your shoulders

so I always touched your breasts

I was very uptight then

I don't get that feeling anymore

No, now I'm afraid I'll touch your ribs

What?

These biscuits are not good for you

Many people are coming, I'll let them eat it

I'm not eating it

Dang-dang, what are you babbling about?

Mr. Sun, Mrs. Sun

Where are your parents?

They're cooking in the kitchen

Your father cooks?

It's his hobby

He likes to cook and you like gardening

What about your mother?

Well, she likes to fix my father

Mrs. Sun

Sorry, I don't have time for you

Don't worry about it

We're having company tomorrow night

We need to buy some refreshments

This is my husband

This is Mr. Chen, Chang's father

How are you, Mr. Chen?

So nice to have you here, Mr. Sun

We're having a pany tomorrow

It's nice to have some fun

I don't have that kind of luck

Mrs. Sun, this is Mr. Sun

I've been looking forward to meeting you

Nice to have you back

Chang tells me Dang-dang missed you

when you were not home

I'm grateful to your son

for taking care of Dang-dang

They should thank me for getting him wet

or else they won't be back together

I think Bao-er is amazing

She received back her flat along with her husband et al

A simple mistake...

A vacation for the mind

Thanks

Thanks

When is your daughter coming back?

She's not!

My sister is taking her to Hawaii

I'll meet up with them there

Let's go sit over there

Listen, I'm 40

Xiao Qiu is only 31

I give him money to stan a business

In 10 years when he has succeeded

I'll be over 50

and he'd only be 41

Then he'll probably be running after

15 or 16-year-olds

What will happen to me?

If people love each other

age is not an issue

You talk alike

You ought to be a pair

Congratulations!

Thanks!

Why did you invite Chang?

We have to thank him

for getting us back together

Well, Dang-dang?

Daddy, Chang is amazing!

He has 2,000 points, I lost

How many did you score?

800

Go get something to eat

I'll get even with him

Alright!

Let's play a game! I'll give you 200 to stan

Alright!

Don't swear if you lose!

Why put the flowers in an ashtray?

That's Derek's treasure bowl

He bought it from Temple Street at 22

Then later he met Bao-er

and found a good job

Bao-er has been using it as an ashtray

I prefer the Fat Lady's Poo Poo

You're so careless, Daddy!

Quiet, Dang-dang!

You're losing, Daddy!

Keep quiet and let me concentrate!

Hit...

I was leading you on

in case you think I'm bullying you

You lost! Daddy is brilliant!

Of course!

Bull's eye!

Yes!

Daddy is great!

That's the Sun's stratagem

A false move to start...

and then a real hit

Daddy is brilliant!

Of course, I'm your Daddy!

Watch out, Chang!

It's a cat-and-mouse trick

Daddy is great!

We won, Dang-dang!

I lost

We won, Dang-dang!

Give me a kiss!

Come on!

I'm leaving, Mrs. Sun

Give me a kiss!

Making love on the ceiling

Who's on top? Take a look from the ceiling

Making love in the ice box

Whoever can't stand the cold, tell him to get out!

What did you say?

Ha...

What are you doing?

He's reciting my poem

He's mocking me, I want to hit him

You're crazy!

Your poem sounds quite liberal

I didn't know you write poems

I'm going to fix you, bitch!

What?

Derek, don't humiliate us

I wrote that poem

He shouldn't mock me

Where did he get it?

Did you show it to him?

Come on...l dare you

You're so good with beating up women and kids

How can you do that to him?

He's my guest, you show me no respect

I show you no respect?

I'm showing you too much respect

That's why I moved in back with you

And these friends of yours

If I show you no respect

I'd be a free man

A divorcee, free as the wind

Would I put my neck in the noose?

Fat Lady's Poo Poo

Twinkle twinkle little star...

Stop! I don't want to hear it

Turn left!

Small one for me, big one for you

Wait!

Turn right!

Daddy!

Good boy!

You're too big to ride that

Let me drive you

Mom my!

Dang-dang is my only way to you

Don't bother!

Don't cry

Dang-dang will cry too

And when he does, I tend to cry too

Even you CFY?

Last night at Liao Xiong-bing's exhibition

I almost cried

You were there?

Shi Meng-ping invited me

He left for Japan today

and let me stay at his flat

You're living in his flat?

A week in the hotel is too expensive

I heard he's gay

No wonder he looks at me rather strangely

He wants to kiss my feet

Why didn't you move?

I spent all night thinking

about what you said

Men are liars and unreliable

They have no sense of security

I'm a man and I feel so ashamed

I almost cried

I have said and done

all the wrong things

Love is over

Please don't...

I don't know if I'm getting this right

I hope I won't make any more mistakes

I only love you and Dang-dang

Can I move back in with you?

Oh, my God!

"Derek worked hard to be a model husband

but he'll go to find some exotic woman sometime"

"Bao-er works hard to be a model wife

The next year she gave binh to a daughter

She has a 3 month long affair that Derek doesn't know"

Before I stan crying, please slow down

Let me hold you tight

Let the feeling pass

Life is full of surprises

but it's beautiful if you're with me

I won't ever impose