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1
00:01:22,190 --> 00:01:24,770
Hey girl, want some brown liquor?
2
00:01:25,030 --> 00:01:26,710
Brown liquor don't make this pussy bad.
3
00:01:27,430 --> 00:01:28,510
Tequila it is.
4
00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,210
Neither?
5
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No.
6
00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:35,190
Viva la revolution!
7
00:01:35,690 --> 00:01:38,310
Now that shit right there make your
pussy pop on your head.
8
00:01:39,090 --> 00:01:40,710
So what are you doing here anyway?
9
00:01:41,090 --> 00:01:42,290
What do you think I'm doing here?
10
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I'm starting an opening thing.
11
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Been there, done that.
12
00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:48,410
Pick up the phone!
13
00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:49,670
Pick up the phone!
14
00:01:50,050 --> 00:01:51,050
Richie? Tiana.
15
00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:54,890
Hey. I thought it'd be easier for the
audience if we didn't have to be more
16
00:01:54,890 --> 00:01:57,590
tense. Yeah, that makes sense. Because
you know these motherfuckers can't read.
17
00:01:58,330 --> 00:01:59,229
I know.
18
00:01:59,230 --> 00:02:00,710
Who goes to see a way as flexible?
19
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,490
Well, it's nice to...
20
00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:04,910
Phone me, you, in a super awkward way.
21
00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:08,910
Likewise. But I've got to be honest.
When I seen your profile, I made a bitch
22
00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:11,009
almost swipe left because you was mad
goofy.
23
00:02:11,650 --> 00:02:14,470
But surprisingly, you know, goofy niggas
got really good.
24
00:02:14,690 --> 00:02:15,850
So, here we are.
25
00:02:16,050 --> 00:02:17,350
I'll take you for a Jersey girl.
26
00:02:17,610 --> 00:02:18,610
A Jersey girl?
27
00:02:18,970 --> 00:02:20,570
Listen, I love Jersey, yeah.
28
00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:23,390
But I'm a Harlem girl. Born and
motherfucking raised.
29
00:02:23,630 --> 00:02:25,070
Real niggas only. Yeah.
30
00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:26,890
Oh, so you're black.
31
00:02:28,950 --> 00:02:29,950
No, motherfucker.
32
00:02:30,410 --> 00:02:31,410
I'm black.
33
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All cats.
34
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:34,740
No cat.
35
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:35,900
The cat.
36
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:37,460
Fuck all y 'all.
37
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,820
Bitch, spit them pearls back out.
38
00:02:42,060 --> 00:02:43,180
Like, what's your shit?
39
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,260
Hello? So tell me, what's your favorite
scary movie?
40
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,860
I don't really do them. You know, all
the stupid tropes and shit. Why is it
41
00:02:52,860 --> 00:02:55,900
always the white bitch at the end?
Because they know it's too hard to kill
42
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,880
sister. You know what I'm saying?
Because if the sister can survive
43
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,560
cheese, we can survive anything.
44
00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,020
You know, it might help if you met me
outside.
45
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,620
Met you outside? Boy, you're this needy.
46
00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:09,300
What's your sign? It must be a Scorpio.
47
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:10,580
How'd you know?
48
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,680
Good dick, though. But toxic as hell.
49
00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:14,460
Hey, you can go press front here now.
50
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,520
Yeah, sure. You can play the role of
your life.
51
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,160
What was it? That? Not today.
52
00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:20,620
Shit. Bitch. Virgil.
53
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:23,020
Okay, I'm coming down the alley now.
54
00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:25,580
I'm here. Can you see me? I'm waving.
55
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:27,520
No.
56
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,780
The person I'm looking at's not waving.
57
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,740
I thought they were just staring at us.
Well, stare at his ass back!
58
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,840
And don't blink. Never blink. You got to
brush your lips before you blink. What?
59
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,660
Oh, they're walking towards me now.
60
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:41,740
Oh my, oh my god, they have a knife.
61
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:43,560
Why don't they eat his ass over here?
62
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,440
I thought that was the worst part.
63
00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:52,540
The worst part is, you know so much
about horror movies, and yet you still
64
00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:53,940
into the alley alone.
65
00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:58,960
Yeah, but the worst part is, you're
fucking with a New York bitch.
66
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:19,500
Keep on some Avenger shit.
67
00:04:31,860 --> 00:04:32,860
Seriously,
68
00:04:33,580 --> 00:04:36,680
Len? I didn't recognize your bird call.
I thought you was an old warlord.
69
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:38,620
That's a pigeon, nigga.
70
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:44,740
It's supposed to be... Not bad.
71
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,200
Are you done?
72
00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:50,260
Bitch,
73
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,200
I'm Tiana Taylor.
74
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,300
My abs got abs.
75
00:05:21,559 --> 00:05:22,559
Hey, Tiana.
76
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:26,540
You might have kicked my ass, but you
still didn't win that Oscar.
77
00:05:27,220 --> 00:05:28,760
What'd you say about my Oscar?
78
00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:30,380
Denied. Dutter.
79
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:31,640
You lost.
80
00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:33,100
You're right.
81
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,000
Not when I go to glow, bitch.
82
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,380
My God, really?
83
00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:40,580
That's why I never watched horror
movies. It's fucking terrible.
84
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,660
Just a bunch of celebrity cameos and
fart gags.
85
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:47,800
I'm more into Judd Apatow films.
86
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,020
You know, elevated comedy.
87
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,980
And what is elevated comedy?
88
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:57,180
The kind that doesn't actually make
anyone laugh, but makes white people
89
00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:58,180
smart.
90
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,280
Tuesday, don't answer that. It could be
ghosting.
91
00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:04,280
Oh, come on, Elle.
92
00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:06,360
Stuff like that only happens in the
movies.
93
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:10,640
Oh, hey.
94
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,020
I wasn't expecting you to answer the
door.
95
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:14,360
What the fuck?
96
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:20,240
Now, here's my life. This is Hello
Tuesday.
97
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:50,480
What'd you take?
98
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:52,120
Just Ritalin for my ADHD.
99
00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:54,120
Adderall for PTSD.
100
00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:56,060
A couple of Bannocks for my anxiety.
101
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:57,920
Antibiotic pills.
102
00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:00,120
So good luck getting it up there.
103
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,620
Jesus, Sarah, how many did you take?
104
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:06,720
I don't know how many come in a bottle.
105
00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:09,620
Hey, Jess.
106
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,620
Sarah, two days in the hospital.
107
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,840
She was stabbed by a killer. You know,
ghostface.
108
00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:16,460
Wait, from routine?
109
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:21,150
A lot of Ghostface Killa, aka Pretty
Tony, aka Starkey Love, will stab my
110
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:25,230
sister. Cut. Sarah, it wasn't Ghostface
Killa. It was somebody in a Ghostface
111
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:26,230
mask. Oh.
112
00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:28,470
Okay, that makes more sense.
113
00:07:33,490 --> 00:07:35,710
I ate the wand!
114
00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:38,350
Ah!
115
00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:39,770
Jesus, Jack!
116
00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:42,870
What? I was thinking about wearing this
for Halloween.
117
00:07:43,350 --> 00:07:44,350
My strange weapon!
118
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,360
Gotta go see her.
119
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:51,220
Can't make up for the past.
120
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:52,900
Hey, hey, hey.
121
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:54,480
I'm going with you.
122
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,960
Not because I'm the obvious killer
trying to lure you back here from town.
123
00:07:58,180 --> 00:07:59,620
I'm just a supportive boyfriend.
124
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,160
What? That's all.
125
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,460
Okay, let's go. Get in the car.
126
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,480
Listen, we just have to make one stop on
the way.
127
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,400
I survived.
128
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,260
All thanks to my lucky penny.
129
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:49,220
It's embarrassing, especially for black
women. It's not embarrassing. I'm the
130
00:08:49,220 --> 00:08:50,220
cool...
131
00:08:51,810 --> 00:08:55,330
Don't forget, I got practice later, so
I'll be home late. You only made the
132
00:08:55,330 --> 00:08:58,350
because you're black, and those racist
fucks assumed you could play.
133
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:02,030
It's 2026. I don't think race is an
issue.
134
00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:03,510
Do you read black Twitter?
135
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:08,050
No. Oh, Ray, are you still dating that
hoe?
136
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:13,170
Okay, stop hoe -shaming her. Just
because Daryl and them ride a train on
137
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:14,210
doesn't make her a hoe.
138
00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:15,490
She's not a hoe.
139
00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:17,010
She's sex positive.
140
00:09:17,410 --> 00:09:19,230
Well, I'm positive she's a hoe.
141
00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:25,550
you to see it. Bloody schoolgirl!
142
00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:26,669
Howdy ho!
143
00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:27,670
Hi, Miss Min.
144
00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:29,890
Love the hair.
145
00:09:30,390 --> 00:09:34,570
Same. I'll take it from her. Well, thank
you very much. I thought I'd invite you
146
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,210
over and make you a little shit pot.
147
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:40,510
Ooh. You know what? I gotta get to
African American history class.
148
00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:41,910
We're learning about slavery.
149
00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:45,310
I'm trying to find out. It was a choice.
You see that right there?
150
00:09:46,390 --> 00:09:47,389
That's Kanye.
151
00:09:47,390 --> 00:09:50,130
That's right. They've been teaching us
wrong all this time.
152
00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:51,570
Mm -hmm. Best luck.
153
00:09:52,590 --> 00:09:53,590
Bye -bye.
154
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,440
I'm speaking fast. Don't not put some
condoms in your bag. You know, I ain't
155
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:00,440
trying to trap y 'all.
156
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:04,260
Okay, seriously?
157
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,100
Sure, Greg. You don't have to walk me to
class. I'm fine.
158
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,560
Jess, there's a serial killer on the
loose.
159
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,500
I'm not going to let anything happen to
my baby girl.
160
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,360
Boy, okay? I'm a baby boy. I'm sorry.
161
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,000
I'm having a hard time with this
transition.
162
00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:19,340
Okay, it's really simple.
163
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,160
Treat me like one of the guys.
164
00:10:21,860 --> 00:10:22,860
Okay?
165
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,080
I can do that? Yeah.
166
00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:26,959
Slap fight?
167
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,920
Oh, you call that a slap?
168
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,140
Who the hell did you do that for?
169
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,040
I look like such a bitch.
170
00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:38,260
Bitch.
171
00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:43,020
Not bad.
172
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:07,280
Oh, my God, Mother. You look like shit.
173
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:11,560
Hey, please. This is clearly a woman
who's run out of condition. Oh, be
174
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,780
where you walk. The whole place is fully
trapped.
175
00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:16,260
You never know when that cycle's gonna
come back.
176
00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:17,660
Come here.
177
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,480
Okay.
178
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:30,560
I hate this job.
179
00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:37,120
Mrs. Campbell, I'm Jack, Sarah's
boyfriend.
180
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:39,600
I've heard so much about you.
181
00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:40,980
None of it good.
182
00:11:41,740 --> 00:11:46,780
I have heard nothing about you, Jack. I
assume you're a piece of shit. But how
183
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:51,600
would I know when I haven't heard from
my daughter in, what, six months? Six
184
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:56,280
years, Mother. And whose fault is that?
And whose fault is that? I don't know.
185
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:57,300
Maybe it's yours.
186
00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,280
That's fair.
187
00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:02,320
We want to learn from the horror you
survived.
188
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:07,780
Look, scary movie three and four paid me
a lot of money for a girl. There is
189
00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:09,000
nothing to learn there.
190
00:12:09,260 --> 00:12:11,960
But if you want to talk about the house,
buddy, shoot.
191
00:12:12,180 --> 00:12:13,180
It's happening again.
192
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:17,400
Some asshole in a mask. We have to stop
him.
193
00:12:17,940 --> 00:12:19,440
You're not ready, lovebug.
194
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,600
I have been preparing for this for
years.
195
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,660
Sacrificed everything.
196
00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:26,240
You are a terrible mother.
197
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:27,620
Come on, honey.
198
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,460
We had some good times.
199
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,660
Like that Christmas I took you to meet
Santa at the mall?
200
00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:42,760
Your turn, Sarah.
201
00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:46,100
Move. Hi, Santa.
202
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,980
Sorry if I don't fit in your bag.
203
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,640
You creep me out.
204
00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:31,150
our emotional wounds and put the past
behind us?
205
00:13:31,670 --> 00:13:32,890
God, no.
206
00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:35,250
No, to kill ghost faith.
207
00:13:35,670 --> 00:13:36,790
Do you have any guns?
208
00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:40,830
I am Cindy fucking Campbell.
209
00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:46,830
I've got millions of guns, but none of
them are registered due to my mental
210
00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:47,830
health issues.
211
00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:50,870
So if you could just keep that on the
low.
212
00:13:52,050 --> 00:13:53,050
Okay.
213
00:14:06,110 --> 00:14:07,770
Okay, so I spoke to Sarah earlier.
214
00:14:08,070 --> 00:14:09,069
Oh, is she coming?
215
00:14:09,070 --> 00:14:09,989
You know what I did?
216
00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:10,990
Hear a buzzing sound.
217
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,350
So it's possible.
218
00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:14,550
No, I meant to Woodsville, not
Manhattan.
219
00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:15,830
Oh, I forgot that.
220
00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:16,949
Hey, Jimbo!
221
00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:17,950
Go deep!
222
00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:20,030
Oh!
223
00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:21,710
Sweet!
224
00:14:22,850 --> 00:14:25,990
Speaking of going deep... Uh, I don't
know if it's a good time.
225
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:29,250
Everyone knows what happens to teenagers
who try to make love when there's a
226
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:30,109
killer in the loose.
227
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,630
Brad's right about one thing, guys. Hey,
Ghostface is back.
228
00:14:32,890 --> 00:14:33,910
We need to arm up.
229
00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:35,229
Pepper spray?
230
00:14:35,230 --> 00:14:36,230
Check.
231
00:14:36,670 --> 00:14:38,390
Taser? Check.
232
00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:39,990
Butt plug?
233
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:41,270
Double check.
234
00:14:42,030 --> 00:14:44,930
Goddamn! You just carry that thing
around?
235
00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:46,290
It's easy to hide.
236
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:50,690
In your butt?
237
00:14:52,530 --> 00:14:53,530
I'm impressed.
238
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:06,900
I'm back!
239
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,680
Man, what's up, huh? Huh?
240
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:17,400
I'm tired of you little Gen Z alpha
niggas using terms like onk and auntie,
241
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:22,200
gaslighting and glazing and glamping,
trying to make my generation sound old.
242
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:26,040
ain't your damn onk, nigga! Shorty,
you're a mother's brother, so yeah,
243
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,440
technically you are our onk.
244
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,440
Oh, my bad.
245
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,940
It's crazy that they let you teach here.
246
00:15:33,340 --> 00:15:35,240
Teach? No, I didn't.
247
00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:37,129
I attend.
248
00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:39,810
You're looking at a proud 25th year
senior.
249
00:15:40,630 --> 00:15:42,190
When are you finally going to graduate?
250
00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:45,230
By the time we do a sequel and I'm going
to follow you little young niggas to
251
00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:46,230
college to get my check.
252
00:15:46,370 --> 00:15:50,130
Wait, guys, Tuesday's a wait. All right,
Tuesday. Who the fuck is Tuesday?
253
00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:52,910
We got to go to the hospital. You going
to take the bus home?
254
00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:54,270
Nah, the PJ.
255
00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:55,990
Private jet?
256
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:57,350
Yeah, jealous.
257
00:15:57,510 --> 00:16:01,250
Man, you know, we did all day. Just
played video games, live stream.
258
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,130
You literally got money doing nothing.
259
00:16:03,490 --> 00:16:06,350
Exactly. I leave the hard work for the
old head.
260
00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:08,210
Jesus!
261
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:13,230
The other fan short. Check my crypto.
262
00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:15,170
Oh, shit, I'm up $3 million.
263
00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:19,150
Damn, now I'm down $5 million.
264
00:16:19,470 --> 00:16:21,350
This shit is crazy, son.
265
00:16:56,970 --> 00:16:58,490
Sister Brenda, it's okay.
266
00:16:58,950 --> 00:17:01,150
You heard the call of sin. Yes, you did.
267
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:04,910
But the Lord has called on us to show
men such like you the way.
268
00:17:05,369 --> 00:17:06,369
Come on, son.
269
00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:07,670
Come with us.
270
00:17:08,450 --> 00:17:09,450
Come on us.
271
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:12,430
God seek your coming. So don't cheat
that time.
272
00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:16,329
We need you to come like you never came
before.
273
00:17:16,690 --> 00:17:18,510
Come for the Father. Come for the Son.
274
00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:21,010
I'm going to hold your hand and we're
going to come together.
275
00:17:23,650 --> 00:17:24,650
Amen.
276
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,500
In the name of God!
277
00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:32,220
Let it go, Ray! Let it go!
278
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,460
Oh, my bad.
279
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,340
Last time.
280
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:43,600
Let's welcome a new member to our
congregation.
281
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,040
I'm
282
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:52,900
not
283
00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:54,140
gay no more.
284
00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:15,910
and perky areolas. I'm no longer
carrier.
285
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:45,320
cheaper. I thought that was my
anniversary, right?
286
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:47,340
Oh, this naked got a lot in my house.
287
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:51,900
I no longer stand butt naked in the
mirror with my penis tucked between my
288
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:56,180
Dancing like a dude from Silence of the
Lambs. It puts collusion in the basket,
289
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:59,220
precious. I'm a changed man. I've been
delivered.
290
00:18:59,780 --> 00:19:01,040
I will.
291
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,460
I said I will.
292
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:03,800
I will.
293
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:06,120
No. I'm a woman. Huh?
294
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,760
Woman. Woman. Woman. Woman.
295
00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:11,020
Woman. Woman.
296
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,180
Woman.
297
00:19:28,260 --> 00:19:31,060
Whoa. Fuck.
298
00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:32,700
Fuck.
299
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:22,660
I'm trying to get that out for an hour.
300
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,640
What are you feeling, too?
301
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,140
I'm probably giving you the pain.
302
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,900
Is that more pain or... Oh, yeah.
303
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:42,200
Oh, it's that good, good... It's that
Britney Spears shit. Mixing on a get
304
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,380
-of -the -naked -dance -around -and
-juggle -some -night.
305
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,460
It's that Jeffrey Dahmer look -alike.
306
00:20:48,620 --> 00:20:50,480
This is my boyfriend, Jack.
307
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:51,980
Really nice to meet you.
308
00:20:53,020 --> 00:20:54,600
Looks like Ted Bundy to me.
309
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,900
But that ain't none of my business.
310
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,600
This little stabbed up bitch here needs
some rest.
311
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,660
So y 'all, get the fuck out!
312
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:04,880
Yes, ma 'am.
313
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:07,760
Oh, not you, Sarah.
314
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,420
Why? What did I do?
315
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:11,980
I'm so scared.
316
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,700
Oh, Tews.
317
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,060
You should be.
318
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,260
You've been stabbed nine times.
319
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,520
Or the killer knows where you live.
320
00:21:21,820 --> 00:21:25,980
I would invite you to come stay at my
place, but I don't really want that kind
321
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:27,120
of juju in my house.
322
00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:30,540
For all we know, he's standing right
outside that door.
323
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:38,160
Comforting, Sarah.
324
00:21:38,740 --> 00:21:40,120
I thought I was going to die.
325
00:21:45,390 --> 00:21:47,470
The hell? And I wrote your obituary.
326
00:21:47,910 --> 00:21:50,410
More like Chapter T wrote it. But you're
still here.
327
00:21:50,870 --> 00:21:53,230
And I will never let anyone hurt you.
328
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:42,060
Shit, baby, that's my show. Drugs and
that interest. I will make this Gucci
329
00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:43,060
I pop, pop, pop.
330
00:22:43,180 --> 00:22:50,140
Dear Lord, please accept this white
bitch. Oh, the Lord works in
331
00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:51,140
mysterious ways.
332
00:22:51,940 --> 00:22:52,980
I'm going to break.
333
00:22:53,660 --> 00:22:54,660
Oh, truth.
334
00:22:54,980 --> 00:22:58,260
I will never let anyone hurt you again.
335
00:23:17,030 --> 00:23:18,950
Hello? Hello, Sarah.
336
00:23:19,930 --> 00:23:21,030
Who is this?
337
00:23:21,790 --> 00:23:24,410
Someone who knows your little secret.
338
00:23:25,310 --> 00:23:27,950
No, no, no. I swear that wasn't a Nazi
salute.
339
00:23:28,150 --> 00:23:31,570
Okay? I won prom queen and I was
throwing my heart to the crowd.
340
00:23:31,870 --> 00:23:32,870
No.
341
00:23:32,950 --> 00:23:36,170
I'm talking about your family secret.
342
00:23:37,470 --> 00:23:40,350
Oh, you're the fuck who hurt my sister.
343
00:23:41,030 --> 00:23:43,350
Well, I had to get you to come back
here.
344
00:23:43,770 --> 00:23:45,870
Listen, if you want to fuck with me,
asshole,
345
00:23:47,850 --> 00:23:49,070
We bless you!
346
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:44,560
You're welcome.
347
00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:49,860
It really looks like you got hit with
something hard.
348
00:24:50,100 --> 00:24:52,440
Like metal. I told you, I fell.
349
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,520
Now where exactly are we going?
350
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,040
To talk to an expert.
351
00:25:16,730 --> 00:25:17,730
No,
352
00:25:37,490 --> 00:25:39,710
no. I'll give you eight minutes.
353
00:25:40,830 --> 00:25:42,030
And another thing.
354
00:25:43,669 --> 00:25:45,050
Oh, I didn't tell you to go.
355
00:25:46,490 --> 00:25:50,730
Now you guys are good.
356
00:25:51,150 --> 00:25:54,930
When did the work week become the woke
week? We've got Black Friday. What's
357
00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:55,930
next? Mulatto Monday?
358
00:25:56,310 --> 00:25:57,670
I mean, Yellow Thursday?
359
00:25:59,870 --> 00:26:04,530
Let me get this out of the way.
360
00:26:07,250 --> 00:26:11,530
Yep, you're good.
361
00:26:13,770 --> 00:26:15,350
You're Cindy's daughter, right?
362
00:26:15,590 --> 00:26:17,730
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know him.
363
00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:20,130
Oh, this is Jack, my love interest.
364
00:26:20,550 --> 00:26:22,030
No, no, no, no.
365
00:26:22,270 --> 00:26:27,510
Rule number one of surviving a horror
movie is never trust the love interest.
366
00:26:27,850 --> 00:26:28,850
Look at him.
367
00:26:29,430 --> 00:26:35,350
He's got that weird lazy eye poking one
way and he's drooling like a psychopath.
368
00:26:35,890 --> 00:26:37,410
He's got that stump leg.
369
00:26:37,810 --> 00:26:43,150
Makes the wall walk weird and creepy. I
don't have a stump leg. I guess he does.
370
00:26:43,690 --> 00:26:44,690
Oh.
371
00:26:44,730 --> 00:26:45,730
I'm looking at me.
372
00:26:46,830 --> 00:26:48,310
Just watching Doofy.
373
00:26:48,690 --> 00:26:49,690
Be tired.
374
00:26:50,290 --> 00:26:52,450
Listen, Doofy, we could really use your
help.
375
00:26:53,010 --> 00:26:55,370
No. I can't go back to that life.
376
00:26:55,570 --> 00:26:57,950
Plus, we're in the middle of a global
pandemic.
377
00:26:58,150 --> 00:27:01,730
Okay, I hate to break it to you, but
COVID has been over for, like, years.
378
00:27:02,730 --> 00:27:03,730
Really?
379
00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:05,190
Yeah.
380
00:27:07,750 --> 00:27:08,750
Damn it!
381
00:27:09,470 --> 00:27:11,550
What am I going to do with all this damn
meat?
382
00:27:14,830 --> 00:27:16,330
I don't want to go to sleep tonight.
383
00:27:16,710 --> 00:27:17,710
Hey, don't come down.
384
00:27:41,180 --> 00:27:44,980
Okay, just because he showered doesn't
mean that... Yeah, I didn't shower. I
385
00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:46,820
just take water from my mouth.
386
00:27:47,260 --> 00:27:48,259
You want some?
387
00:27:48,260 --> 00:27:49,260
No, that's okay.
388
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:54,380
Okay. Come on, do you see? Yeah, do it.
Sarah, is your BMOX mom coming? Or can
389
00:27:54,380 --> 00:27:55,520
we stop talking about this plot?
390
00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:59,100
Uh... Hi.
391
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:01,880
You came.
392
00:28:01,940 --> 00:28:06,860
Not in like 15 years, honey. But I did
buy this new rose.
393
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,200
Fingers crossed.
394
00:28:23,210 --> 00:28:24,330
I'm writing back to you.
395
00:28:24,730 --> 00:28:26,610
Sweet! What's up, Sandy?
396
00:28:26,990 --> 00:28:28,750
How you doing, my nigga?
397
00:28:29,490 --> 00:28:31,110
Oh, shit, son!
398
00:28:31,570 --> 00:28:34,550
I can't believe you thought I was dead.
399
00:28:34,910 --> 00:28:39,330
Well, between cancer, from the weed,
smoke, your love of the McRib, and
400
00:28:39,330 --> 00:28:41,710
cops, I didn't think you had a chance.
401
00:28:41,990 --> 00:28:42,990
Yeah, that's a tale coming.
402
00:28:44,150 --> 00:28:45,250
Hi, Sandy.
403
00:28:45,530 --> 00:28:46,930
Stop smiling at me!
404
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,720
Don't call that white bitch a honky.
Come on, have some respect.
405
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,420
I keep seeing people smiling everywhere.
406
00:29:05,020 --> 00:29:08,580
I'm not very likable, so it must be some
kind of curse.
407
00:29:09,060 --> 00:29:10,060
Hey, reality.
408
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:11,520
Look what I got.
409
00:29:11,940 --> 00:29:16,960
Non -branded jealousy shots made with
brain alcohol and GHB. So ain't nobody
410
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:20,100
sipping that main consent to life. Long
time. I apologize.
411
00:29:20,380 --> 00:29:21,980
Take one. I love roofing myself.
412
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:24,500
No. You sure, baby?
413
00:29:24,700 --> 00:29:25,459
Hi, Brenda.
414
00:29:25,460 --> 00:29:27,920
Please do not call me by my government
bank.
415
00:29:55,850 --> 00:29:57,690
Barry killed Ghost Fish, and he never
returned.
416
00:29:58,390 --> 00:29:59,390
What about you?
417
00:29:59,650 --> 00:30:02,810
Well, I've been mostly just getting half
-cooled kids drunk in a desperate
418
00:30:02,810 --> 00:30:06,230
attempt to stay young and keep my kids
at home. I always knew you'd be a great
419
00:30:06,230 --> 00:30:07,550
mom. Oh, Cindy.
420
00:30:08,170 --> 00:30:09,169
Should we hug?
421
00:30:09,170 --> 00:30:12,950
Oh, I really want to, but I'm a
Republican now, so I'm supposed to be
422
00:30:13,190 --> 00:30:16,550
Oh, girl, I think all white people are
racist anyway. Come here, okay?
423
00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:18,190
Oh.
424
00:30:19,390 --> 00:30:20,389
Do you want to be sugar?
425
00:30:20,390 --> 00:30:24,510
Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, Mom, this
place could be so cool.
426
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,740
If you had, like, a beer pong table over
there, maybe, like, a snack wall.
427
00:30:29,020 --> 00:30:31,760
What do you know about cool? When I was
your age, I was popping bottles with
428
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:35,600
Puffy, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, all
the genres.
429
00:30:36,900 --> 00:30:39,940
That ain't as well. Your mama was the
freak in the free calls.
430
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,020
You want to see something cool?
431
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:44,700
I'm going to show you something cool.
432
00:31:40,490 --> 00:31:41,490
Let's get back to the plot.
433
00:31:41,730 --> 00:31:43,470
I'm looking at you, Ted Bundy eyes.
434
00:31:43,710 --> 00:31:46,690
Looking like a school shooter. I think
you the killer. Oh, me?
435
00:31:46,890 --> 00:31:49,110
Okay, what about Deputy Doofy over
there?
436
00:31:49,310 --> 00:31:50,410
I don't have a motive.
437
00:31:50,690 --> 00:31:51,690
Yeah, what's my motive?
438
00:31:52,010 --> 00:31:53,750
You were the killer in the first movie.
439
00:31:54,430 --> 00:31:59,110
Shouldn't you be locked up? No, I got
pardoned. Mostly because of the storming
440
00:31:59,110 --> 00:32:00,170
the Capitol, you know.
441
00:32:00,410 --> 00:32:01,410
Oh. I got proof.
442
00:32:02,010 --> 00:32:02,989
It's me.
443
00:32:02,990 --> 00:32:04,070
Oh. And it's framed.
444
00:32:04,410 --> 00:32:05,410
That's a cool hit.
445
00:32:05,550 --> 00:32:07,550
But what about Jeff?
446
00:32:08,290 --> 00:32:09,290
What about me?
447
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,780
If anybody here has issues that could
lead to murder... Okay.
448
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,560
Trans shaming is not cool, okay?
449
00:32:15,860 --> 00:32:20,620
Then he's just a dude. Yeah. Finest
stuff for body strength in the dick
450
00:32:20,860 --> 00:32:22,820
Hey, you don't know what I got down
here, okay?
451
00:32:23,060 --> 00:32:24,039
I do.
452
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:29,540
Hey, hey. Listen, what we know so far is
everyone who's been attacked is related
453
00:32:29,540 --> 00:32:31,100
to the original characters.
454
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:32,460
Who wants to kill the king?
455
00:32:36,910 --> 00:32:40,690
A what now? Yep. It's like a reboot and
a sequel. It mixes legacy characters
456
00:32:40,690 --> 00:32:45,470
with new characters in an attempt to
feed into bullshit nostalgia and bring
457
00:32:45,470 --> 00:32:48,350
fans to the theaters. Just like last
year's I Know What You Did Last Summer.
458
00:32:50,710 --> 00:32:51,649
That's a movie?
459
00:32:51,650 --> 00:32:54,950
What did I do last summer? I think
you're talking about the summer I turned
460
00:32:54,950 --> 00:32:56,090
pretty. Yeah. Ray!
461
00:32:56,530 --> 00:32:57,590
When did you get here?
462
00:32:57,910 --> 00:32:59,530
I walked in here. I was just hanging out
by the window.
463
00:33:00,470 --> 00:33:01,730
Oh. Mommy?
464
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:07,000
Okay, so that means that our killer is
writing his own version of horror movie.
465
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:11,600
Okay, so according to the rebooty call
rules, who's killer?
466
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,500
I think it's pretty obvious.
467
00:33:17,660 --> 00:33:18,660
Who?
468
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:20,160
You, bitch.
469
00:33:20,260 --> 00:33:22,780
Me? Guys, I am not the killer.
470
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:27,980
Ghostface attacked Tuesday to lure me
back here. I think he attacked Tuesday
471
00:33:27,980 --> 00:33:31,300
get you back here so he could get me
back here.
472
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,800
He wants to kill the OGs. That was a
flex.
473
00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:36,220
Yeah, that's not true.
474
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:37,680
Fuck this!
475
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,900
And fuck you, mother!
476
00:33:40,460 --> 00:33:42,640
To your mother? Hey!
477
00:34:11,179 --> 00:34:13,239
Talk to me. Hello, Sheriff.
478
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:15,139
Agent Underwood?
479
00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:16,840
I'll give you one hint.
480
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:19,260
What's your favorite scary movie?
481
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,719
Well, I'm going to go with Saltburn.
482
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,480
I mean, the member on that English guy
was terrifying.
483
00:34:24,940 --> 00:34:29,020
And Ken Jeong's junk in The Hangover was
a much better depiction of the male
484
00:34:29,020 --> 00:34:31,480
anatomy. Now, what do you want,
fuckface?
485
00:34:31,820 --> 00:34:35,600
Well, I'm just calling to tell you that
by the time you get home, I'll have
486
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:36,780
gutted your baby girl.
487
00:34:37,739 --> 00:34:40,199
Hey, asshole, he's a boy.
488
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:07,320
Looking for this?
489
00:35:08,260 --> 00:35:09,840
Let me help you.
490
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,680
I got your baby dick.
491
00:35:13,220 --> 00:35:14,780
Winky, winky, winky, winky.
492
00:35:24,100 --> 00:35:27,800
What do you want, fuckface?
493
00:35:28,340 --> 00:35:31,280
Like father, like son.
494
00:35:32,420 --> 00:35:34,340
I have seen your home about.
495
00:35:34,910 --> 00:35:40,270
Well, that's out, but the pool guy, the
gardener, and the plumber are all here,
496
00:35:40,350 --> 00:35:42,490
asshole. Look out your window.
497
00:35:47,410 --> 00:35:50,290
No, but they're the backbone of the
American workforce.
498
00:35:51,470 --> 00:35:52,950
I'm not too white to do those jobs.
499
00:35:53,290 --> 00:35:54,590
Let's cut to the chase.
500
00:35:55,010 --> 00:35:56,770
I'll ask you one question.
501
00:35:57,090 --> 00:35:59,610
If you answer correctly, you live.
502
00:36:00,150 --> 00:36:03,570
Who was the killer in Horror Movie?
503
00:36:04,230 --> 00:36:09,010
Oh, that was easy. It was Bobby and then
K -Ray, the guy who was totally into
504
00:36:09,010 --> 00:36:10,490
dudes, even though he claimed he wasn't.
505
00:36:10,690 --> 00:36:12,370
Classic 2000s homophobia.
506
00:36:12,670 --> 00:36:14,470
But I got you, bitch. Wrong.
507
00:36:14,870 --> 00:36:18,930
You forgot Special Officer Doofy. Now
you die.
508
00:36:27,910 --> 00:36:29,150
Oh, my God!
509
00:36:31,030 --> 00:36:33,510
You should probably answer that.
510
00:36:33,850 --> 00:36:36,750
I can literally see you trying to steal
my baggage.
511
00:36:38,010 --> 00:36:39,090
Oh, shit.
512
00:36:40,450 --> 00:36:41,510
Now it's easy.
513
00:36:44,530 --> 00:36:47,650
Uh, someone over here stinks. Let's go
up.
514
00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:51,750
Brain attack.
515
00:36:52,010 --> 00:36:54,330
Careful. You will not let me kill her.
516
00:36:54,790 --> 00:36:58,950
You are about to identify as dead.
517
00:37:02,390 --> 00:37:03,390
Ew.
518
00:37:04,170 --> 00:37:06,710
Just like a girl.
519
00:37:14,370 --> 00:37:15,550
Hello, girls.
520
00:37:15,910 --> 00:37:22,870
Please shut the door. This is Kiki West
for OnlyFans Rapid News. Rapid News?
521
00:37:22,970 --> 00:37:23,970
You mean Vapid News.
522
00:37:24,170 --> 00:37:25,430
You don't even have a cameraman.
523
00:37:26,450 --> 00:37:29,450
Excuse me.
524
00:37:31,630 --> 00:37:32,630
Oh, my.
525
00:37:32,930 --> 00:37:34,210
You're... Yes, yes.
526
00:37:34,430 --> 00:37:38,810
Three -time Emmy nominee for Outstanding
Achievement in Sensational Reporting.
527
00:37:39,030 --> 00:37:43,330
I was going to say the lady from
Friends, but shorter than the class of
528
00:37:43,510 --> 00:37:45,350
Oh, is that what you were going to say?
529
00:37:45,670 --> 00:37:49,930
Yes. You seriously don't know who I am?
Baby girl, I am... Gail Flores.
530
00:37:50,610 --> 00:37:54,170
Hey. Gail Storm. Gail, get the hell out
of my way.
531
00:37:59,510 --> 00:38:02,090
Doofus. Hey, Gail.
532
00:38:03,740 --> 00:38:05,340
Ah, you're amazing today.
533
00:38:06,140 --> 00:38:09,580
Today's like a million days at this
minute. Why? Yeah, your fingers felt
534
00:38:09,580 --> 00:38:12,260
genitals. What are you doing in that
ridiculous uniform?
535
00:38:13,260 --> 00:38:14,400
I'm back on the case.
536
00:38:14,700 --> 00:38:16,240
Yeah, I'm going to bust Joe's face.
537
00:38:16,580 --> 00:38:23,400
Well, um, tell me, Special Needs Officer
Doofy, um, are there any suspects
538
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,480
in this tragic and completely
predictable incident?
539
00:38:26,700 --> 00:38:27,980
I do not know what to say.
540
00:38:28,260 --> 00:38:29,860
No, no, no, no.
541
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:31,160
Yes, you can.
542
00:38:37,129 --> 00:38:41,150
Hey, remember when we used to give
blowjobs for sensitive information?
543
00:38:41,770 --> 00:38:45,030
I don't give blowjobs anymore, okay? Not
since Me Too.
544
00:38:45,290 --> 00:38:46,290
Okay, sorry.
545
00:38:46,750 --> 00:38:50,170
I give handjobs now, but the story
better be good. Okay, I'll give you a
546
00:38:50,170 --> 00:38:51,550
handjob. Let's do it. Let's do it.
547
00:39:03,310 --> 00:39:04,310
What the?
548
00:39:07,410 --> 00:39:14,390
I'm going to get you. I'll come right
back.
549
00:39:14,450 --> 00:39:15,368
I'm going to get you. Where?
550
00:39:15,370 --> 00:39:16,750
You got my outfit. You look good.
551
00:39:20,650 --> 00:39:22,090
Ain't it mean show me, Lino?
552
00:39:25,290 --> 00:39:26,430
Fuck yeah, it's true.
553
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,880
Shorty, you do know that smoking is bad
for you.
554
00:39:42,620 --> 00:39:48,660
Actually, weed ain't bad for you. You
got vitamin T, C, and H, C, B, and D.
555
00:39:49,340 --> 00:39:50,680
What's the matter, Shorty?
556
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,300
You look a little antsy.
557
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:59,760
Maybe because there's a masked serial
killer sipping tea in my den. Sure.
558
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,460
my nigga. I mean, friend.
559
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:03,540
Please. All right.
560
00:40:07,660 --> 00:40:08,720
Do you want to quit smoking?
561
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:14,220
Well, to be honest, I tried to quit. But
my mother said, I ain't raising no
562
00:40:14,220 --> 00:40:15,220
quitters.
563
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,200
So I quit quitting. We can try another
fifth.
564
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:22,880
Bro, I don't care how many pocket
watches you try and wave in front of my
565
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:24,220
It ain't gonna work, son.
566
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,300
You can't magnetize me.
567
00:40:26,540 --> 00:40:27,540
Sleep.
568
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,000
Shorty.
569
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:33,600
Hmm?
570
00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:35,140
What's up?
571
00:40:35,420 --> 00:40:36,940
Tell me about your...
572
00:40:37,180 --> 00:40:38,180
Mother.
573
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:40,198
Damn, nigga.
574
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,960
Let's start with something light. Like,
do you lick ass? Yes or no?
575
00:40:44,220 --> 00:40:45,280
The answer's yes.
576
00:40:46,180 --> 00:40:48,840
So what happened to her, Shorty?
577
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:52,440
She's coming home.
578
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,940
Her car was parked on the side of the
road.
579
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:57,920
Someone was in it.
580
00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:00,760
Something bad was happening.
581
00:41:05,450 --> 00:41:06,590
Why did you call anyone?
582
00:41:07,050 --> 00:41:10,450
I have warrants. You were 11?
583
00:41:10,970 --> 00:41:12,530
I started young, nigga.
584
00:41:14,150 --> 00:41:16,470
What do you see?
585
00:41:20,210 --> 00:41:24,150
I see a big explosion of water.
586
00:41:25,790 --> 00:41:27,730
It was like a silver light bulb.
587
00:41:32,070 --> 00:41:33,750
Police said it was a murder -suicide.
588
00:41:36,140 --> 00:41:36,899
Shut that man.
589
00:41:36,900 --> 00:41:40,340
When they opened the car door, his limp
body just slid out.
590
00:41:44,060 --> 00:41:46,200
Like the green nigga in Shape of Water.
591
00:41:46,980 --> 00:41:48,780
I just didn't want it to be real.
592
00:41:49,060 --> 00:41:50,600
What don't you want to be real?
593
00:41:51,820 --> 00:41:53,800
That my mother was a squirter.
594
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:59,000
Okay. All the floors in our bedroom was
warped.
595
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:00,320
I can't move.
596
00:42:00,860 --> 00:42:01,920
You're paralyzed.
597
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,160
Now, think.
598
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:06,520
Into the chair.
599
00:42:06,660 --> 00:42:07,660
No, wait.
600
00:43:45,710 --> 00:43:46,710
That thing was wild.
601
00:43:46,870 --> 00:43:48,630
That must have been Elon Musk.
602
00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:54,590
Tuesday?
603
00:44:05,690 --> 00:44:06,690
Tuesday?
604
00:44:08,250 --> 00:44:09,250
Bobby?
605
00:44:17,550 --> 00:44:18,550
She's gonna die.
606
00:44:18,970 --> 00:44:19,970
Our daughter, Sarah?
607
00:44:20,270 --> 00:44:24,390
You're probably right. She's tough, but
let's see her get stabbed in the cut.
608
00:44:24,630 --> 00:44:25,810
I'm gonna die.
609
00:44:26,290 --> 00:44:27,810
Bobby, you're already dead.
610
00:44:28,270 --> 00:44:32,990
This hallucination is a manifestation of
my own guilt for being an awful mom. Or
611
00:44:32,990 --> 00:44:34,530
it could be the shrooms I just popped.
612
00:44:36,050 --> 00:44:37,450
You're gonna die.
613
00:44:38,030 --> 00:44:40,470
Bitch, you ain't killing me.
614
00:44:46,890 --> 00:44:47,910
You're gonna die.
615
00:44:49,270 --> 00:44:50,870
Stop smiling!
616
00:44:51,530 --> 00:44:52,530
I can't.
617
00:44:52,590 --> 00:44:53,590
Hey!
618
00:44:54,790 --> 00:44:56,950
This is the mental ward.
619
00:44:57,250 --> 00:44:58,670
Everyone smiles in here.
620
00:44:59,570 --> 00:45:04,290
Oh, um, could you point me in the
direction of the ICU?
621
00:45:04,570 --> 00:45:05,970
That way or that way?
622
00:45:06,330 --> 00:45:07,770
Uh, visiting hours are over.
623
00:45:08,070 --> 00:45:09,070
Oh, yes, of course.
624
00:45:10,370 --> 00:45:15,210
The network wants me to clarify that
Black Friday has nothing to do with
625
00:45:15,630 --> 00:45:19,150
Well, just tell that to my black friend,
Benita, who's probably clocking someone
626
00:45:19,150 --> 00:45:20,850
over the head of Target as we speak.
627
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:48,060
If that shit lacking, see, people think
it's lacking, but it's actually
628
00:45:48,060 --> 00:45:50,100
shocking. Oh, your hair look like
fondue.
629
00:45:50,300 --> 00:45:51,218
It's dirty.
630
00:45:51,220 --> 00:45:52,280
I could get a monkey.
631
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:24,700
Coming June 10th. Only on Tubi.
632
00:46:27,580 --> 00:46:29,220
I'm a bootleg dad shit.
633
00:46:31,340 --> 00:46:32,340
Hello?
634
00:46:33,900 --> 00:46:34,900
Fuck you.
635
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:41,380
I'm gonna miss you all day.
636
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:13,140
Not to murder you or anything like that.
Then why are you wearing gloves?
637
00:47:14,420 --> 00:47:19,400
Would you believe I am thinking about
dressing up as O .J. Simpson for
638
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:20,740
Halloween? But don't fit.
639
00:47:22,180 --> 00:47:25,520
No! Y 'all cool, bro? You almost did a
thing!
640
00:47:25,740 --> 00:47:26,840
I mean, no!
641
00:48:09,769 --> 00:48:13,310
Wait until I stick my knife on him.
642
00:48:17,950 --> 00:48:21,830
I'm crying over here.
643
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:16,740
Excuse me, I'm already at the time.
644
00:49:16,940 --> 00:49:18,140
Can you please do it again?
645
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:19,520
Do me!
646
00:49:19,780 --> 00:49:21,280
I like doing that.
647
00:49:24,260 --> 00:49:25,500
Smiley, you son of a bitch.
648
00:49:59,240 --> 00:50:00,280
Let's get out of this house.
649
00:50:38,990 --> 00:50:40,590
Oh, Jack, that's my ass.
650
00:50:40,830 --> 00:50:41,669
All right.
651
00:50:41,670 --> 00:50:42,710
Any last words?
652
00:50:43,610 --> 00:50:45,450
I don't poopy.
653
00:50:49,250 --> 00:50:52,990
Oh, hell no. I ain't cleaning up that
shit.
654
00:50:53,450 --> 00:50:54,450
I'm on break.
655
00:50:54,770 --> 00:50:55,488
Come on.
656
00:50:55,490 --> 00:50:57,050
I'm just killing my queen.
657
00:50:57,930 --> 00:50:58,930
What did you say?
658
00:51:00,530 --> 00:51:01,930
Yo, what's up, Jack?
659
00:51:02,210 --> 00:51:05,830
It's your boy Shorty. That's right. It's
another Halloween -a -thot. And that's
660
00:51:05,830 --> 00:51:11,350
another day of me getting paid mad
money. for doing absolutely nothing
661
00:51:11,350 --> 00:51:12,550
stupid motherfuckers watch.
662
00:51:13,250 --> 00:51:14,630
They call me dumb.
663
00:51:14,930 --> 00:51:20,850
I want to give a smooth shout -out to my
sponsor, Angry Orchard Hard Cider.
664
00:51:22,050 --> 00:51:24,310
They got mad apples, son.
665
00:51:27,790 --> 00:51:30,630
Please, stop it. People marketing
genius.
666
00:51:30,990 --> 00:51:34,970
I won't be a Halloween -a -thong without
a dope guest. He's a legend in the
667
00:51:34,970 --> 00:51:36,990
streaming game. Give it up for Kyle.
668
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:49,780
serious. What brings you to check?
669
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:52,160
You brought something in the movie.
670
00:51:52,460 --> 00:51:54,280
I've been calling you. You're ghosting
me.
671
00:51:54,920 --> 00:52:00,140
Bro, I thought that was one of my crazy
ass baby mamas. That's my bad. Speaking
672
00:52:00,140 --> 00:52:03,480
of ghosting, somebody wants to talk to
you.
673
00:52:04,500 --> 00:52:07,360
Hello? What's your favorite scary movie?
674
00:52:24,590 --> 00:52:28,090
We bought you a hot sauce. They got mad
apples.
675
00:52:31,470 --> 00:52:37,530
I'm going to do my favorite thing.
676
00:52:38,330 --> 00:52:40,050
In the wheel.
677
00:52:41,870 --> 00:52:42,950
Do it again.
678
00:52:43,730 --> 00:52:46,690
We're going to go back there with these
noodles and we're going to smack the
679
00:52:46,690 --> 00:52:49,650
fuck out of you. Come here, you've got
to guess who did it. That doesn't mean
680
00:52:49,650 --> 00:52:52,050
anything. This is a dumb game.
681
00:53:57,270 --> 00:54:02,010
Shorthand was the handyman that the
house reputed to be haunted in 2001.
682
00:54:03,450 --> 00:54:05,090
Is there anything you're not telling me?
683
00:54:05,370 --> 00:54:06,570
That your wife hates you.
684
00:54:07,070 --> 00:54:10,090
You believe the earth is flat and you
voted for Trump.
685
00:54:10,710 --> 00:54:11,710
Great time.
686
00:54:11,730 --> 00:54:13,230
No, that's what's above for the woman.
687
00:54:13,630 --> 00:54:18,190
Huh? I believe Shorthand is a notorious
ghost thing.
688
00:54:20,070 --> 00:54:21,230
What'd that mouth do?
689
00:54:24,270 --> 00:54:26,050
You did look pretty sketchy.
690
00:54:29,690 --> 00:54:31,070
I got the wrong guy.
691
00:54:31,850 --> 00:54:33,470
And you know that because you're sick?
692
00:54:33,790 --> 00:54:36,090
No. It's just only the rest of mine.
693
00:54:38,030 --> 00:54:39,030
I don't know.
694
00:54:39,590 --> 00:54:40,590
I got it black.
695
00:54:41,090 --> 00:54:43,110
It's kind of... Not that black.
696
00:54:43,470 --> 00:54:45,070
It's like gravy brown.
697
00:54:48,390 --> 00:54:50,050
Hit him with your strong hand.
698
00:54:51,990 --> 00:54:52,990
Arrest him anyways.
699
00:54:53,390 --> 00:54:54,470
Well, I did something, right?
700
00:54:55,630 --> 00:54:56,890
Turn up your body gas.
701
00:54:57,950 --> 00:55:00,030
This hailstorm, welcome back.
702
00:55:00,370 --> 00:55:04,270
Doc, I'm begging you. You gotta help me
look younger. These little bitches are
703
00:55:04,270 --> 00:55:07,750
killing me out there. They're wearing
nothing but a sausage casing and a ring
704
00:55:07,750 --> 00:55:13,990
light. Trust me with this withered,
decrepit, age -ravaged body, and I will
705
00:55:13,990 --> 00:55:14,848
you whole.
706
00:55:14,850 --> 00:55:17,070
Well, you know, there's a white lady
special coming right up.
707
00:55:17,290 --> 00:55:20,810
Thanks. I'm gonna play a quick video on
the ins and outs of the procedure, and
708
00:55:20,810 --> 00:55:21,810
then we'll get started.
709
00:55:26,060 --> 00:55:28,100
Do you wish you weren't so old and
saggy?
710
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:33,200
Do you wish you were younger, sexier,
fuckable again?
711
00:55:33,720 --> 00:55:38,860
One single injection unlocks your DNA,
creating a new value.
712
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:42,860
This is the stuff.
713
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:48,520
Doc, this isn't that Buena Paltrow crap
that makes you smell like a vag, is it?
714
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:31,200
Oops, wrong movie.
715
00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:34,740
You were thinking it.
716
00:57:36,900 --> 00:57:39,120
White shit to my ass.
717
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:43,800
Hey,
718
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,000
Sarah.
719
00:57:50,340 --> 00:57:57,040
Tuesday, I tried to visit you. I am
sorry for everything, especially
720
00:57:57,040 --> 00:57:58,040
your name.
721
00:57:58,490 --> 00:58:03,250
It was Taco Tuesday. I was super drunk.
But I promise you, I will kill this
722
00:58:03,250 --> 00:58:04,250
motherfucker.
723
00:58:04,810 --> 00:58:09,350
I'm going to take you to the car.
724
00:58:09,590 --> 00:58:14,150
I'm taking twos away from all of this.
725
00:58:15,270 --> 00:58:20,730
I tried to run two, but it follows.
726
00:58:21,850 --> 00:58:25,810
Yeah, you're probably expecting a
flashback to that movie, but it's too
727
00:58:26,990 --> 00:58:30,010
you have sex with someone given an STD
and
728
00:59:03,630 --> 00:59:04,630
Candyman.
729
00:59:05,750 --> 00:59:06,750
Candyman.
730
00:59:07,010 --> 00:59:08,790
You sure about this? Yeah.
731
00:59:09,110 --> 00:59:10,310
Keep saying it.
732
00:59:11,570 --> 00:59:12,570
Candyman?
733
00:59:33,260 --> 00:59:34,640
What's up? You got that candy, man?
734
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:42,340
I got weed gummies, K -nuts, and what
takes you
735
00:59:42,340 --> 00:59:47,540
so long to show up? Come on, Clarence. I
called you five times, nigga. Show up
736
00:59:47,540 --> 00:59:49,760
in three. You ain't even called me on
the phone.
737
00:59:50,180 --> 00:59:53,260
Luckily, I was walking by and heard y
'all through the hole in this wall.
738
00:59:53,580 --> 00:59:58,320
Fix that shit. You shut your ass up. You
need to go to a proctologist and get
739
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:02,280
your skin looked at. Having acne over
the age of 40 is wild work.
740
01:00:02,650 --> 01:00:03,690
I look better than this, nigga.
741
01:00:03,950 --> 01:00:07,670
Maybe on this side. Hey, ain't no time
to be. We about to be high as well. We
742
01:00:07,670 --> 01:00:08,670
gonna party, son.
743
01:00:10,990 --> 01:00:13,790
Happy Halloween, y 'all.
744
01:00:14,150 --> 01:00:15,290
Watch out for your face.
745
01:00:15,870 --> 01:00:16,910
That's right. We get.
746
01:00:18,050 --> 01:00:19,050
Hey.
747
01:00:19,270 --> 01:00:20,510
I love it. Come here.
748
01:00:21,350 --> 01:00:22,350
Look at this.
749
01:00:22,670 --> 01:00:23,670
You seen your sister?
750
01:00:25,470 --> 01:00:26,470
Wait.
751
01:00:26,950 --> 01:00:27,950
You seen Gay?
752
01:00:28,190 --> 01:00:30,750
I can't find her since she went to that
protest.
753
01:00:31,230 --> 01:00:32,230
No.
754
01:00:40,250 --> 01:00:42,190
Jake Gyllenhaal from Brokeback Mountain.
755
01:00:42,910 --> 01:00:45,890
I wish I knew how to quit you, but I
can't.
756
01:00:47,430 --> 01:00:48,990
You love that movie.
757
01:00:49,790 --> 01:00:50,689
Hey, Brenda.
758
01:00:50,690 --> 01:00:55,610
Huh? Have you seen my big old bag of
candy? It had chocolates, gummies,
759
01:00:55,690 --> 01:01:00,390
lollipops. It's going missing. No, no,
no. It's not missing. I passed it out to
760
01:01:00,390 --> 01:01:01,390
the trick -or -treaters.
761
01:01:01,710 --> 01:01:03,950
Brenda, that's my stash.
762
01:02:37,450 --> 01:02:41,390
Do you know how many baby seals died
from microplastics?
763
01:02:50,830 --> 01:02:51,930
Yeah, God's great.
764
01:02:56,110 --> 01:02:59,930
My God, he stabbed her. Not her.
765
01:03:00,130 --> 01:03:01,810
My pronouns are they them.
766
01:03:02,070 --> 01:03:04,390
He stabbed them. I'm over 40.
767
01:03:04,590 --> 01:03:06,470
How am I supposed to keep up with all of
this?
768
01:03:06,790 --> 01:03:07,790
He's not wrong.
769
01:03:08,010 --> 01:03:12,750
It's Karens like you that keep the
patriarchy going with their knees on our
770
01:03:12,750 --> 01:03:15,410
necks. Now you're playing the race card?
771
01:03:15,750 --> 01:03:18,310
That's enough of her shit. That shit,
bitch.
772
01:03:22,090 --> 01:03:28,310
clear my real name is oh shit isn't too
good nor the insult
773
01:03:28,310 --> 01:03:34,350
they don't realize we're gonna help them
toxic masculinity and mansplaining
774
01:03:34,350 --> 01:03:41,170
doesn't help anybody i love women and
sports just not
775
01:03:41,170 --> 01:03:42,170
together
776
01:03:54,830 --> 01:03:55,830
I'm going mad at you.
777
01:03:59,410 --> 01:04:02,710
Uncle Shorty, you still mad at me?
778
01:04:03,170 --> 01:04:04,370
Can I ask you something?
779
01:04:05,370 --> 01:04:06,370
Yeah, sure.
780
01:04:07,630 --> 01:04:11,250
It's about, you know, how to go down on
a girl.
781
01:04:12,250 --> 01:04:13,330
It's about eating pussy?
782
01:04:14,110 --> 01:04:16,290
Yes. It's so cringe, but yeah.
783
01:04:16,530 --> 01:04:20,070
So maybe if you stop talking like a 14
-year -old white girl, you could learn
784
01:04:20,070 --> 01:04:22,290
something. All right, so listen up.
785
01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:25,740
First thing you got to do, you got to
spread it to the man. You got to open it
786
01:04:25,740 --> 01:04:27,380
up. And you want to use your fingers.
787
01:04:27,820 --> 01:04:29,000
Sometimes you can use two.
788
01:04:29,460 --> 01:04:30,780
Two fingers, like that there.
789
01:04:31,020 --> 01:04:35,940
Now, once you get it all in there, now
you got to use your tongue.
790
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:37,520
You can't be afraid of it.
791
01:04:40,780 --> 01:04:42,160
Lean into it.
792
01:04:42,620 --> 01:04:44,140
No, no, no. You're doing it too fast.
793
01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:46,680
Listen.
794
01:04:46,940 --> 01:04:48,640
You got to be gentle. You got to talk to
it.
795
01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:50,280
Hello, little guy.
796
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:51,680
How you doing?
797
01:04:54,250 --> 01:04:57,250
It's like blowing in the blood. All you
gotta do, nephew.
798
01:04:59,670 --> 01:05:02,170
Zip that shit.
799
01:05:03,530 --> 01:05:04,530
Got it?
800
01:05:04,750 --> 01:05:09,150
Now, if you want to learn to lick ass,
that's your mama.
801
01:05:11,230 --> 01:05:13,830
You feel so good.
802
01:05:14,850 --> 01:05:17,010
Oh, yeah.
803
01:05:17,650 --> 01:05:20,310
Well, I want to try something.
804
01:05:20,780 --> 01:05:23,800
I thought you said you'd never let me
peck you. What? No.
805
01:05:24,900 --> 01:05:25,900
Relax.
806
01:05:26,220 --> 01:05:27,520
I just want to taste you.
807
01:05:30,100 --> 01:05:31,100
Okay.
808
01:05:32,860 --> 01:05:33,860
Dinner time.
809
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:36,480
Oh, yeah. Come here, baby.
810
01:05:39,220 --> 01:05:40,220
Careful.
811
01:05:40,860 --> 01:05:42,060
You might be a gangster.
812
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:45,340
Oh. It is gangster.
813
01:05:45,840 --> 01:05:48,340
Okay. Stop. You're so hot. You want some
more?
814
01:05:48,620 --> 01:05:49,620
Yeah.
815
01:05:53,079 --> 01:06:00,060
I feel so much better in the barrel than
them. Get back in there! Yeah!
816
01:06:00,100 --> 01:06:01,520
Lick it! Yeah!
817
01:06:02,180 --> 01:06:03,360
Lick it hard!
818
01:06:04,220 --> 01:06:05,360
Finish her.
819
01:06:05,980 --> 01:06:09,140
Oh my God!
820
01:06:12,620 --> 01:06:14,380
Just like rolling in blood.
821
01:06:28,140 --> 01:06:29,380
We heard tell of a Halloween party.
822
01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:34,800
You didn't know, did you? We're here to
drink, play bad music, do some half -gay
823
01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:35,800
shit.
824
01:06:35,900 --> 01:06:37,020
Watch us half -gay.
825
01:06:37,540 --> 01:06:38,540
Can I help you?
826
01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:40,420
If you'd just invite us in.
827
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,260
Why do you need an invitation?
828
01:06:42,620 --> 01:06:45,460
White folks show up to parties and
invite us all the time with their little
829
01:06:45,460 --> 01:06:49,180
nasty -ass casseroles. Bland as shit. Y
'all better start using some loud.
830
01:06:49,620 --> 01:06:53,400
And why she got them dirty -ass feet?
Looked like you was walking around
831
01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:55,860
sets all day. Got them trailer -blocked
toes.
832
01:06:57,640 --> 01:06:58,920
I think you're in the wrong place.
833
01:06:59,340 --> 01:07:00,340
Y 'all play?
834
01:07:01,020 --> 01:07:02,020
No.
835
01:07:02,180 --> 01:07:04,460
We believe in music and equality.
836
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:06,240
How about we show y 'all?
837
01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:07,440
It's okay, Tom.
838
01:07:23,240 --> 01:07:26,820
Wheezy's rolling around in her grave
right now. Can't do this to the black
839
01:07:26,820 --> 01:07:27,820
national anthem.
840
01:07:35,500 --> 01:07:36,500
Boo!
841
01:07:37,060 --> 01:07:38,900
Look at you fuck! Boo your ass!
842
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:41,500
Get that bullshit out of here!
843
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:45,240
Why don't y 'all just go to one of those
frat parties where they drink until
844
01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:48,420
they black out and wake up with their
booties hurting, not knowing what
845
01:07:48,420 --> 01:07:50,540
in the cowboy hat did to them. Yeah,
what?
846
01:07:51,180 --> 01:07:55,930
Oh. Okay, well, we will leave you guys
alone, but we're going to walk real slow
847
01:07:55,930 --> 01:07:58,010
just in case y 'all change your minds.
848
01:07:59,030 --> 01:08:03,170
Change your minds yet? No. Hell no.
849
01:08:04,050 --> 01:08:05,050
How about now?
850
01:08:05,210 --> 01:08:06,210
No. No.
851
01:08:06,770 --> 01:08:07,830
Yes? Hell no.
852
01:08:08,250 --> 01:08:09,710
Keep walking. Now get.
853
01:08:10,070 --> 01:08:12,470
Go, go, go. Sarah, come on. White folks
is getting weird.
854
01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:30,120
Look at me.
855
01:08:35,399 --> 01:08:36,399
Hey,
856
01:08:37,500 --> 01:08:38,660
Tuesday!
857
01:08:39,580 --> 01:08:40,740
You came back!
858
01:08:41,300 --> 01:08:42,720
Yeah, I just left my inhaler.
859
01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:45,960
Oh, it was a Tuesday. I thought inhalers
were the worst plot device you've ever
860
01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:49,939
had to try. That's true. Should have
been a thing. But we're here now, so
861
01:08:49,939 --> 01:08:52,020
make the most of it. Now wear the white
clothes!
862
01:08:59,060 --> 01:09:04,020
Hello. Get your sister and get out of
there right now. Okay, hon? I am a grown
863
01:09:04,020 --> 01:09:04,959
-ass woman.
864
01:09:04,960 --> 01:09:08,920
Mother, I don't have to do anything you
tell me to do. That's the house where
865
01:09:08,920 --> 01:09:10,479
your psychopath killed those people.
866
01:09:10,779 --> 01:09:12,220
Someone wanted to get in there.
867
01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:16,640
Which means someone wants to get me
there.
868
01:09:17,080 --> 01:09:18,960
Oh, my God. This isn't about you.
869
01:09:19,399 --> 01:09:22,540
Why are you going to ask about me? You
live so fucking far away.
870
01:09:23,380 --> 01:09:25,840
Wait, hold on. Are you tracking my
phone?
871
01:09:26,260 --> 01:09:28,479
Shh. You're breaking up. Yeah. Shh.
872
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:01,680
I didn't see that movie, okay?
873
01:10:02,080 --> 01:10:03,660
I just found the thing in the shed.
874
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:05,040
Jesus.
875
01:10:10,760 --> 01:10:11,880
Come on, bro.
876
01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:13,560
That's even worse.
877
01:10:14,860 --> 01:10:16,760
I didn't mean it that way.
878
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:18,860
Some of my best victims are black.
879
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:25,600
And another brother falls victim to gun
violence.
880
01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:28,320
Turns out race is still an issue.
881
01:10:28,700 --> 01:10:29,700
That's not fair.
882
01:10:29,930 --> 01:10:32,070
You know, black guys usually die first
in horror movies.
883
01:11:10,060 --> 01:11:13,980
Why are you running backwards, Charlie?
Oh, no, it's not me. It's some trouble.
884
01:11:14,000 --> 01:11:15,700
Man, your remote is upside down.
885
01:11:16,240 --> 01:11:19,380
Game on, bitches.
886
01:11:25,040 --> 01:11:26,040
Fuck,
887
01:11:26,800 --> 01:11:28,060
lives matter.
888
01:11:28,420 --> 01:11:29,420
It's not you, Charlie.
889
01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:32,420
Oh, my. I need you. What's going on? Oh,
Jeff.
890
01:11:32,800 --> 01:11:35,360
Oh, thank God you're here. Where were
you?
891
01:11:35,800 --> 01:11:37,240
Ghostface was just here.
892
01:11:37,520 --> 01:11:40,290
I was just outside getting some rest.
Stop!
893
01:11:41,610 --> 01:11:43,950
One of you is the killer.
894
01:11:44,770 --> 01:11:48,210
Well, why do you have blood on your
hands?
895
01:11:49,970 --> 01:11:52,270
I found that outside.
896
01:11:52,670 --> 01:11:53,770
She's the killer!
897
01:11:54,070 --> 01:11:56,190
I am not the killer.
898
01:11:56,490 --> 01:11:58,050
I'm not even that positive.
899
01:11:58,330 --> 01:11:59,330
I'm a virgin.
900
01:11:59,550 --> 01:12:00,549
No way.
901
01:12:00,550 --> 01:12:02,150
You're being like every dude in
Woodsville.
902
01:12:02,470 --> 01:12:03,470
Fuck you.
903
01:12:04,250 --> 01:12:07,230
The butt doesn't count.
904
01:12:13,710 --> 01:12:15,050
Act three, bitches.
905
01:12:17,090 --> 01:12:18,090
What?
906
01:12:19,150 --> 01:12:20,570
What does that even mean?
907
01:12:21,870 --> 01:12:23,810
It's when the shit goes down.
908
01:13:18,419 --> 01:13:19,820
What do you think?
909
01:13:20,880 --> 01:13:24,440
I think Drake lost to Kendrick. I still
like Drake.
910
01:13:24,660 --> 01:13:27,580
What was up with that lawsuit? That's
such a bitch ass move.
911
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:29,440
About this situation.
912
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:32,140
Oh, that's definitely a trap.
913
01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:33,840
She don't know where we are depending on
that.
914
01:13:57,640 --> 01:13:58,640
I'd do anything for you, Brenda.
915
01:14:05,080 --> 01:14:09,700
Yes! She bought it! That's no ketchup
trick! It don't fail!
916
01:14:10,100 --> 01:14:13,360
That bitch is crazy and she thought I
was taking my black ass back in there.
917
01:14:17,980 --> 01:14:18,980
It's your turn.
918
01:14:19,360 --> 01:14:22,260
You have five seconds to show yourself.
919
01:14:58,380 --> 01:15:01,520
You forgot the first rule of surviving a
horror movie.
920
01:15:01,740 --> 01:15:03,640
Never answer that, though.
921
01:15:04,760 --> 01:15:08,000
I thought the first rule was never trust
the live interest.
922
01:15:09,820 --> 01:15:10,820
Oh, really?
923
01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:13,020
Oh, I'm changing rules. How about that?
924
01:15:14,020 --> 01:15:15,020
New rule.
925
01:15:15,420 --> 01:15:16,920
Go fuck yourself.
926
01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:18,600
Wait, wait.
927
01:15:18,760 --> 01:15:19,760
Oh,
928
01:15:20,160 --> 01:15:22,260
why are you in closets so much?
929
01:15:22,520 --> 01:15:23,960
I told you to come out.
930
01:15:24,220 --> 01:15:25,840
Yeah, well, I didn't want to get shot.
931
01:15:26,300 --> 01:15:27,300
Ironic, isn't it?
932
01:15:42,139 --> 01:15:47,080
Mr. Todd is just a metaphor. It was
about losing his wife.
933
01:17:03,020 --> 01:17:04,020
Eat a dick.
934
01:17:11,900 --> 01:17:16,440
Shoot him, Sarah. And this.
935
01:17:16,680 --> 01:17:17,920
Don't tell me what to do.
936
01:17:18,180 --> 01:17:24,140
This isn't the best time to resolve our
mommy -daughter issues, but... Sarah, I
937
01:17:24,140 --> 01:17:28,500
am so sorry. I have been a terrible
mother. I don't even know if your sister
938
01:17:28,500 --> 01:17:32,910
Wednesday or Tuesday has to... clarify
that for legal reasons.
939
01:17:33,170 --> 01:17:34,950
But I prepared you for this.
940
01:17:35,410 --> 01:17:36,810
So go on, baby.
941
01:17:37,050 --> 01:17:38,230
You kill him.
942
01:17:38,810 --> 01:17:40,570
Sarah! Sarah!
943
01:17:41,550 --> 01:17:42,890
Sarah! Sarah!
944
01:17:43,170 --> 01:17:46,690
Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!
Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!
945
01:17:46,690 --> 01:17:47,389
Sarah! Sarah!
946
01:17:47,390 --> 01:17:48,390
Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!
Sarah!
947
01:17:53,350 --> 01:17:54,350
Sarah!
948
01:17:58,350 --> 01:17:59,350
Sarah!
949
01:18:01,800 --> 01:18:02,800
Fuck!
950
01:18:03,340 --> 01:18:05,620
Oh, sorry, honey. I hate being right.
951
01:18:06,200 --> 01:18:07,680
You should have listened to Doofy.
952
01:18:08,340 --> 01:18:09,500
A bitch.
953
01:18:09,720 --> 01:18:10,720
Bitch,
954
01:18:11,020 --> 01:18:15,420
I think it's too obvious, you know? It
makes you think it is not obvious.
955
01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:16,640
Yeah,
956
01:18:16,920 --> 01:18:18,520
well, that's the twist.
957
01:18:19,080 --> 01:18:20,080
Now get in the kitchen.
958
01:18:20,260 --> 01:18:21,260
Go.
959
01:18:21,360 --> 01:18:22,360
Okay,
960
01:18:22,760 --> 01:18:23,760
listen up.
961
01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:28,920
See, there hasn't been a great horror
movie since the first one.
962
01:18:29,220 --> 01:18:30,460
We're going to save the franchise.
963
01:18:31,200 --> 01:18:32,440
Go get our special guest star.
964
01:18:35,180 --> 01:18:37,080
Hollywood! Out of ideas.
965
01:18:37,700 --> 01:18:40,160
Why else would there be a scary movie 6?
966
01:18:40,420 --> 01:18:44,260
But it wouldn't work with just the new
characters, would it? We need the legacy
967
01:18:44,260 --> 01:18:49,660
characters. Oh, and there wouldn't be a
Cindy without her sassy black sidekick
968
01:18:49,660 --> 01:18:53,360
Brenda. You ain't have to say black with
no heartbeat like that.
969
01:19:21,309 --> 01:19:23,390
Tuesday. Okay, ladies.
970
01:19:23,790 --> 01:19:25,690
Time to stage the party.
971
01:19:26,110 --> 01:19:28,190
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
972
01:19:30,350 --> 01:19:32,130
Who are you people?
973
01:19:32,370 --> 01:19:33,550
We're the motherfuckers.
974
01:20:10,700 --> 01:20:15,000
That's right. On my knees, on the same
height as Kevin. And Kevin said no.
975
01:20:15,220 --> 01:20:18,320
Kevin Hart said no? That little
motherfucker says yes to everything.
976
01:20:18,940 --> 01:20:19,818
Yeah, he does.
977
01:20:19,820 --> 01:20:20,820
But wait.
978
01:20:21,440 --> 01:20:22,440
There's more.
979
01:20:23,760 --> 01:20:24,800
Ta -da!
980
01:20:26,640 --> 01:20:27,880
Bitches! Ray!
981
01:20:28,480 --> 01:20:30,480
Shorty! Yeah, that's right.
982
01:20:30,860 --> 01:20:33,880
Four black killings.
983
01:20:34,220 --> 01:20:35,220
We're making history.
984
01:20:35,800 --> 01:20:38,200
It's a new definition of black
excellence.
985
01:20:39,430 --> 01:20:40,970
But why would you do this?
986
01:20:41,410 --> 01:20:42,410
Question it.
987
01:20:43,050 --> 01:20:47,330
Why would you try to make a sequel
without us, huh? Yeah. When the studio
988
01:20:47,330 --> 01:20:50,030
to replace these brothers, I was there.
989
01:20:50,530 --> 01:20:51,530
That's facts.
990
01:20:51,610 --> 01:20:52,610
What about me?
991
01:20:52,890 --> 01:20:56,190
What about you? You were in one scene in
part four.
992
01:20:56,650 --> 01:21:00,610
Yes, but I made that motherfucker Dr.
Phil cut his foot off. And he crazy now.
993
01:21:00,690 --> 01:21:01,690
Yeah, he got weird.
994
01:21:01,950 --> 01:21:03,870
But you see what they're trying to do?
995
01:21:04,110 --> 01:21:07,010
They're trying to pit us all up against
each other. They're trying to start
996
01:21:07,010 --> 01:21:09,580
black or... on very black crime. That's
right.
997
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:13,200
Yo, Shaq. Hey, I'm proud of you, bro.
998
01:21:13,420 --> 01:21:16,880
You've had an amazing career as a sports
commentator since retiring from
999
01:21:16,880 --> 01:21:19,820
basketball. Mm -hmm. And I love the big
podcast.
1000
01:21:20,100 --> 01:21:21,100
Nigga, I love that shit.
1001
01:21:21,660 --> 01:21:24,800
Even though I don't understand a word
you be saying, you be on that show talk.
1002
01:21:25,140 --> 01:21:26,420
All right, all right, all right.
1003
01:21:27,420 --> 01:21:28,420
Thanks, come in.
1004
01:21:29,160 --> 01:21:30,400
Kobe. Enough.
1005
01:21:31,220 --> 01:21:34,540
But my point is, nigga, I love your
shit.
1006
01:21:36,110 --> 01:21:37,930
But I never got over Kazan.
1007
01:21:45,410 --> 01:21:52,190
How big
1008
01:21:52,190 --> 01:21:54,210
is your dick?
1009
01:21:58,030 --> 01:22:02,210
What the fuck are you talking about? I'm
doing it for the culture.
1010
01:22:07,950 --> 01:22:09,050
Alright, alright. We back.
1011
01:22:09,990 --> 01:22:13,190
Hey, Dad. Don't you worry. We family.
1012
01:22:14,150 --> 01:22:15,150
Mad respect.
1013
01:22:16,170 --> 01:22:18,790
Black is nominated for eight Emmys.
1014
01:22:19,050 --> 01:22:20,050
Actually,
1015
01:22:21,290 --> 01:22:22,970
the show was only nominated for five.
1016
01:22:23,210 --> 01:22:25,090
I was nominated for eight.
1017
01:22:29,350 --> 01:22:36,290
But you never won.
1018
01:23:04,810 --> 01:23:08,210
I went and did scary movie three and
four without her. Baby, I'm sorry.
1019
01:23:08,510 --> 01:23:13,170
They offered me so much money. I got a
new house, a new car, and a lease I
1020
01:23:13,170 --> 01:23:14,170
need.
1021
01:23:14,490 --> 01:23:15,490
What about you?
1022
01:23:16,790 --> 01:23:21,390
Well, I had a chance to work with the
incomparable Charlie Sheen.
1023
01:23:23,730 --> 01:23:24,648
That's good.
1024
01:23:24,650 --> 01:23:26,990
He's a legend. And his dick game is
crazy.
1025
01:23:27,270 --> 01:23:31,930
You know, he slept with 47 ,000 women
and 1 ,000 of them women were dudes.
1026
01:23:32,450 --> 01:23:33,450
Lucky guy.
1027
01:23:35,690 --> 01:23:37,090
So y 'all gonna kill us now?
1028
01:23:38,710 --> 01:23:39,710
Nah.
1029
01:23:40,550 --> 01:23:43,050
What would Halloween be without Janie
Lee Curtis?
1030
01:23:43,330 --> 01:23:45,310
Or Scream be without Nev Kim?
1031
01:23:45,590 --> 01:23:46,710
That would be Scream 6.
1032
01:23:46,970 --> 01:23:49,450
How did you guys pull all of this off?
1033
01:23:49,730 --> 01:23:53,030
Sandy, you know how many Wayanses there
are?
1034
01:23:53,770 --> 01:23:54,770
Nigga, billions.
1035
01:23:55,230 --> 01:23:58,890
Billions. I'm just so happy that the old
gang is back together.
1036
01:23:59,650 --> 01:24:00,950
Okay, and then...
1037
01:24:05,960 --> 01:24:12,880
What about the young and the restless?
Or the old and then
1038
01:24:12,880 --> 01:24:18,300
the beautiful? Or the cute and the
crusty? Or the sexy and then the sexy?
1039
01:24:36,300 --> 01:24:37,300
that once we were settling.
1040
01:24:37,440 --> 01:24:38,680
Oh, my back hurts.
1041
01:24:39,420 --> 01:24:41,040
Guys! Guys!
1042
01:24:41,280 --> 01:24:42,540
They're already dead.
1043
01:24:42,980 --> 01:24:44,880
Little fuckers always come back.
1044
01:24:45,120 --> 01:24:46,680
Oh, no. Not this time.
1045
01:24:47,100 --> 01:24:48,200
Exactly. Come on.
1046
01:25:28,320 --> 01:25:29,320
I don't know.
1047
01:25:30,200 --> 01:25:31,800
I kind of like it.
1048
01:25:33,020 --> 01:25:34,040
You do, Ray?
1049
01:25:34,300 --> 01:25:37,120
We should play the fireman. You want to
dress up like a fireman?
1050
01:25:37,380 --> 01:25:39,180
No, I want you to dress up like a
fireman.
1051
01:25:40,220 --> 01:25:41,220
Y 'all do the dress.
72534
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