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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,599 --> 00:00:13,480 They must be there by now. 2 00:00:14,279 --> 00:00:16,039 - Yeah. - Who ? 3 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,800 - Mother and Larry. - Must be in... ? 4 00:00:24,559 --> 00:00:26,920 - England. - Oh, yeah. 5 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,679 We should probably look at our instructions. 6 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,479 - I don't think that applies to us. - No. 7 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:56,399 Now, I'm the oldest and basically a father already, so I'm in charge. 8 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,640 I am in charge of you though Gerry, as you're just a kid. 9 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,079 Bring my hat, would you Roger ? 10 00:01:24,439 --> 00:01:28,480 - Oh, God, that was a long trip. - Mislaying the coffin didn't help. 11 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,200 Yes, remind me not to die in Belgium. 12 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,239 Dank and beige. Good old England. 13 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,239 Dear Auntie. I do miss her. 14 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,079 - For me. From Durant. - Who ? 15 00:01:43,159 --> 00:01:46,040 Friend of Henry Miller's. He's a fan of my novel. 16 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,480 Durant says I must stay at his house in London. 17 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,560 Do you mind me going ? I'll pop back for the funeral. 18 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:13,919 Lawrence Durrell ? 19 00:02:16,039 --> 00:02:17,120 No ! 20 00:02:28,879 --> 00:02:33,800 Larry, this is Jonquil, Henry Miller and Ruby. 21 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:37,960 Don't be shy. 22 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:48,800 At last, people like me. 23 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,879 THE DURRELLS Season 3, episode 3 24 00:03:42,319 --> 00:03:45,879 Slightly vulgar, Auntie ? Good for you. 25 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,120 Louisa, dear. 26 00:03:49,879 --> 00:03:53,280 - A terribly sad time. - Indeed. 27 00:03:54,319 --> 00:03:56,240 Good morning, Prue. 28 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,520 Geoffrey. 29 00:04:01,759 --> 00:04:03,400 - Er, you know Basil ? - Yes. 30 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:08,879 Aunty's cousin twice removed. Removed once from Eton, once from Germany. 31 00:04:09,759 --> 00:04:12,800 Oh, mentioned it. Anyway, I'll be doing the soliciting. 32 00:04:14,039 --> 00:04:16,199 Where there's a will, there's a wage ! 33 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,759 Look at us. Like a flock of crows. 34 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,720 The collective noun is a murder of crows, in fact. 35 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:26,720 If only someone had murdered Auntie ! 36 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:32,240 I mean for the crows thing to work better. 37 00:04:33,759 --> 00:04:36,839 - Terribly sad time. - Where's Lawrence ? 38 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,959 He'll be back for the funeral. He had to whizz to London. 39 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,800 Dreadful chap, London. It gives us the willies, doesn't it dear ? 40 00:04:43,879 --> 00:04:45,879 We're very wedded to Lytchett Matravers. 41 00:04:45,959 --> 00:04:48,279 For all its... gremlins. 42 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,560 - Spiros ! - Miss Margo. How are the x-rays ? 43 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,800 Have you grilled anyone yet by mistake ? 44 00:04:59,879 --> 00:05:01,959 No, she's doing a fine job. 45 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,360 - I think he can dress himself, Margo. - Sorry. 46 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:09,399 Your mother asked me to watch over you, after Leslie's baby news. 47 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,920 - I'm more responsible than Les. - She said no Zoltan until she returns. 48 00:05:14,399 --> 00:05:18,600 - So you have not seen him, I hope. - Of course I haven't. 49 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:28,519 - The house is buggered. - Don't worry about that. 50 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,079 And it's probably best to avoid that word. 51 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,279 - I clean the inside. - No, no, no. 52 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,560 I wouldn't go in there if I were you. 53 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:43,240 Just put your feet up here, have some tea. 54 00:05:43,319 --> 00:05:46,360 - Where is the tea-pot ? - Oh, we used it for soup. 55 00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:56,480 - What does symmoria mean ? - Bad people. 56 00:05:57,199 --> 00:06:02,000 Bad people from Athens steal... things. 57 00:06:03,879 --> 00:06:05,800 There's a gang on the loose in Corfu. 58 00:06:05,879 --> 00:06:08,199 They will kill us all. 59 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:10,360 You're quite a pessimist, aren't you ? 60 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,000 Me too. That's why I have... 61 00:06:59,199 --> 00:07:01,279 - Morning, Henry. - Hey, bud. 62 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:03,959 Hey, bud. 63 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,480 Ah. Love it. 64 00:07:09,839 --> 00:07:11,160 Ladies. 65 00:07:12,079 --> 00:07:14,879 "The hurly-burly of the chaise-longue," 66 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:19,240 "before the deep, deep peace of the double-bed." 67 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:21,839 I'm quoting... 68 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,160 We know who you're quoting, Larry mate. 69 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,759 Thank God. I'm so used to explaining quotations to my family. 70 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,079 Can I say again how much I adored Tropic Of Cancer. 71 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,319 Lyrical. Dense. Filthy. 72 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,439 Sure. What are you doing out in Corfu ? 73 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,720 Writing. Swimming. 74 00:07:47,079 --> 00:07:52,639 - Being. It's cheap and real. - What is real ? 75 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,560 Corfu, it's a Greek... 76 00:08:00,519 --> 00:08:04,920 Oh, I see. Yes indeed, yeah, what is real ? 77 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,000 Only the body. 78 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,160 - Margo, my love. - Hello, Zoltan. 79 00:08:26,519 --> 00:08:30,639 If we see anyone I know, we'll have to hide. Mother was very boring about it. 80 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:34,960 Why must we hide ? I am most desirable. 81 00:08:35,039 --> 00:08:36,879 Arrogance. You know the rules. 82 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,519 I'll spend it on something to make me look delicious. 83 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,279 He was beating this poor donkey like he hated it. 84 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,600 I know. Man's cruelty is boundless. 85 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:08,360 Why do they do it ? I mean it happens in Britain too but it's worse here. 86 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:13,440 Donkeys are seen as insensate machines in fur. Dogs not much better. 87 00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:15,480 The worst thing is, I didn't stop him. 88 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,080 You were wise not to try. He'd beat you too. 89 00:09:18,919 --> 00:09:20,360 Education is the answer. 90 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,320 There... "Donkeys: A Tribute". 91 00:09:23,399 --> 00:09:25,960 You really do have a book about everything, don't you ? 92 00:09:26,039 --> 00:09:27,919 How is it without your mother and Larry ? 93 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,039 It's fair to say standards of hygiene have dropped. 94 00:09:31,519 --> 00:09:33,720 I don't want to go back to England, ever. 95 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,360 Even with our poor record on donkeys ? 96 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,200 Maybe I can do something about that. 97 00:09:39,799 --> 00:09:44,639 Well, that was a very pleasant burial. Very good turn-out. 98 00:09:46,399 --> 00:09:48,320 It makes you wonder, doesn't it ? 99 00:09:48,399 --> 00:09:52,279 Death, infinity, the nature of consciousness. 100 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,919 But the rain held off, that's the main thing. 101 00:09:55,879 --> 00:09:58,720 Ashes to ashes. Always makes me think of cricket. 102 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,120 Then there's dust to dust. 103 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,440 You get some terribly dry wickets Down Under. 104 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,600 Hello ? Bournemouth 351. Mrs. Durrell. 105 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,759 Ah, yes. 106 00:10:21,639 --> 00:10:24,320 - Where were you ? - Sorry, they cancelled my train. 107 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:29,200 Cows on the line outside Waterloo. It seems they wouldn't be shooed away. 108 00:10:29,279 --> 00:10:32,080 - Twaddle. Everyone else made it. - Oh, good. 109 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,120 I wouldn't have been missed then. How are you ? 110 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,919 I'm sad about Auntie, and frankly... 111 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:43,080 - You're having fun, aren't you ? - Of course not, I'm in deep mourning. 112 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,000 - Why's Henry naked ? - Oh, it's what he does. 113 00:10:48,799 --> 00:10:51,000 His view is, why aren't we all naked ? 114 00:10:53,039 --> 00:10:56,399 - What was that noise ? - It doesn't really bear describing. 115 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,879 We will resume this conversation, when I'm not being watched. 116 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:08,159 Lawrence missed his train. He's very upset. 117 00:11:08,759 --> 00:11:10,000 He must be. 118 00:11:10,799 --> 00:11:14,639 Now, Geoffrey and I have a plan of action for your stay. 119 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,080 Hold onto your hat ! 120 00:11:16,159 --> 00:11:19,039 Tomorrow, estate agent then solicitor. 121 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,600 - Yes. - I'll be waiting with me box file ! 122 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:25,279 - And a walk to the splendid tea-rooms. - Mine's a lardy cake ! 123 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,519 - Then on Thursday... - No, I'm sorry. 124 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,679 - I... I beg your pardon ? - I need to see Larry. In town. 125 00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:35,759 - London ? - Yes. I'll be staying there. 126 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,039 You're going to stay in London ? 127 00:11:39,519 --> 00:11:43,320 - I mean, are you mad ? - No, I think it might be fun. 128 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,120 Come on. 129 00:11:59,279 --> 00:12:03,559 Big day tomorrow, Sally, try to look your best. 130 00:12:10,159 --> 00:12:12,679 Ah, you might be wondering what this is. 131 00:12:12,759 --> 00:12:15,799 - Margo ! Family crisis ! - What ? Why ? 132 00:12:15,879 --> 00:12:17,320 Can't you see how this could go wrong ? 133 00:12:17,399 --> 00:12:19,399 I am responsible for this family. 134 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,759 I object to that face ! 135 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,720 A gang out there is threatening our safety and valuables. 136 00:12:24,799 --> 00:12:27,720 - We don't have any valuables. - Yeah, well they don't know that. 137 00:12:27,799 --> 00:12:29,879 They strike under cover of darkness, 138 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,840 and I'm gonna be able to shoot them from my bed. 139 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,960 This is the worst idea you've ever had. 140 00:12:34,039 --> 00:12:38,120 - What if you kill an innocent person ? - Oh, my God. You bloody vegetarians ! 141 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,200 These guns won't kill anyone, probably. 142 00:12:41,279 --> 00:12:43,720 Anyway, I'll put a warning sign up outside. 143 00:12:47,039 --> 00:12:51,600 Hello ! Can I talk to you about donkeys ? Donkeys have feelings too. 144 00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:58,639 Can we talk about donkeys ? 145 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:03,519 Bloody English, you come here and tell us how to lead our lives. 146 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:07,039 What else, be nice to birds ? Love insects ? 147 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,080 Yes, yes, all interesting points. 148 00:13:09,159 --> 00:13:13,759 My fellow campaigner Theo Stephanides will join us when he can and translate. 149 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,639 - He's at work. - You English are not the boss here. 150 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,159 It doesn't matter where I'm from. 151 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,720 And donkeys actually work better if you... 152 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,759 How do you say "Danger Of Death" ? 153 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,399 I come as Mrs. Durrells's policeman. I take this very seriously. 154 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:47,799 Thank you, Spiros, but not necessary. I'm in charge. 155 00:13:48,399 --> 00:13:51,000 No offence Leslie, but you made Daphne pregnant. 156 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,600 You're not in charge even of yourself. 157 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,080 - Has Margo been seeing Zoltan ? - No. 158 00:13:56,519 --> 00:13:59,000 Yes. I see them in the town kissing. 159 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:03,519 Well, kissing... Kissing's nice. 160 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,840 Kissing a Turk is not nice ! 161 00:14:06,519 --> 00:14:09,759 - Just wait till she gets home ! - That could be several hours. 162 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,639 I'll go and come back. 163 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:33,200 Good afternoon. Is this where Lawrence Durrell's staying ? 164 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,679 Laz, you didn't say your mama was a goddess. 165 00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:45,159 - Oh ! I wouldn't go as far as goddess. - Always go far. Don't be so British. 166 00:14:45,639 --> 00:14:48,799 - Sorry. - I think you'll find I'm very British. 167 00:14:50,679 --> 00:14:52,759 Oh, hello. 168 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:57,360 I just wanted to track you down, Laz, before I find a guesthouse. 169 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:58,679 Oh no, you must stay here. 170 00:14:58,759 --> 00:15:01,320 As you can see, I keep a very open house. 171 00:15:02,919 --> 00:15:06,639 Well, we have just buried my aunt, so it might cheer me up. 172 00:15:07,759 --> 00:15:13,960 - I'd hate to tread on anyone's toes. - No, no, join us. 173 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,320 Hello, young man. 174 00:15:29,519 --> 00:15:35,000 Hello, sir. I'm safe with guns. 175 00:15:39,919 --> 00:15:43,919 Or, you are here because Miss Likourgou is pregnant. 176 00:15:45,159 --> 00:15:47,759 I've promised to help with the baby. 177 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,320 My friend Lugaretzia's knitting a romper suit and I'm determined... 178 00:15:51,399 --> 00:15:53,759 No, it is your sign outside. 179 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,840 Oh. Yes, sorry leave it to you professionals. I'll take it down. 180 00:15:57,919 --> 00:16:02,559 - No, it is a good sign. - Thank you. 181 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:09,159 I always say guns make the world a safer place. You'd think it's obvious. 182 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,720 People need to help us more. Like you. 183 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,320 He's a fine young man. 184 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,960 Show him your... 185 00:16:21,399 --> 00:16:23,360 I won't do the full display. 186 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,720 - Do you have work ? - Er, no. 187 00:16:25,799 --> 00:16:29,559 We used to run a family stall but, you know, cakes. 188 00:16:29,639 --> 00:16:31,279 You would like to be a policeman ? 189 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,120 I would love to be a policeman. 190 00:16:39,159 --> 00:16:42,320 So you just took your family off to Corfu ? 191 00:16:42,759 --> 00:16:45,879 Well, it was a particularly overcast day in Bournemouth. 192 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,000 You crazy bitch ! God, you're brilliant. 193 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,639 So, what do you all do ? 194 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,879 We're a loose community of artists and nomads. So, you'll fit right in. 195 00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:00,159 - I adore your necklace. - Oh, this ? Yes. 196 00:17:04,039 --> 00:17:07,960 I found it in a souk, in Arabia. 197 00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:11,440 Oh, do tell the story. 198 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:22,400 I wanted it so much but had no money, so I cut off my hair 199 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:26,559 which I could sit on back then, and often did, and sold it. 200 00:17:27,519 --> 00:17:29,559 And what were you doing in Arabia ? 201 00:17:30,839 --> 00:17:33,039 Hm. What wasn't I doing ? 202 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,920 Oh, Spiros ! Don't go in the house. It's a mess. 203 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,000 You are a Durrells, so I like you, 204 00:17:59,039 --> 00:18:04,920 but your Mother said do not meet your boyfriend. And you did. So I am cross. 205 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,640 - Please don't be. Zoltan's sweet. - Hooray, let's all get pregnant ! 206 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,000 You're only being all odd like this because he's Turkish, 207 00:18:12,079 --> 00:18:13,559 and you're prejudiced. 208 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:20,359 Yes, I am. The Greeks hate the Turks, who hate us. We have a deal. 209 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,160 - Why do you hate them ? - Because they're all... 210 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,799 - That's not a proper argument. - Well... 211 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:31,319 It's Christians versus Muslims, of course. That's a tricky one. 212 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,799 It's the same God. 213 00:18:34,319 --> 00:18:39,839 Years of occupation by the Ottomans. Read about the siege of Nicomedia. 214 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,640 - When did that happen ? - 1337. 215 00:18:46,519 --> 00:18:49,240 - OK, you can see Zoltan. - Good, we're meeting for lunch. 216 00:18:49,319 --> 00:18:51,839 - But I will be there as chaperone. - Spiros... 217 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,440 I've got a job with the Corfu police force. 218 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:06,319 So, in a month or two, after my training, I'll be able to arrest you. 219 00:19:13,079 --> 00:19:17,640 No, to be honest I don't find shoes erotic. 220 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,079 - Toes then ? - No. 221 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,480 Although I did use to like sucking my children's toes. 222 00:19:23,559 --> 00:19:25,319 Oh, tell me more things like that. 223 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,759 Only when they were babies. I don't do it now. 224 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:31,480 Please. 225 00:19:31,559 --> 00:19:34,240 - What is this drink ? - Absinthe. 226 00:19:34,319 --> 00:19:36,799 Ah, isn't that meant to be utterly ruinous ? 227 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,240 Yes, it is. 228 00:19:39,839 --> 00:19:43,640 - Mother. Still up ? - Seemingly. 229 00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:46,440 - May I have a word ? - Yes. 230 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,119 Be careful of Durant. He's used to getting his own way. 231 00:19:54,559 --> 00:19:58,440 - If only that were true of me. - Hm, he's plying you with absinthe. 232 00:19:58,519 --> 00:20:02,160 I used to put away a lot of gin. I know my limits. 233 00:20:03,599 --> 00:20:06,480 - Why's he wearing your necklace ? - It's just paste. 234 00:20:06,559 --> 00:20:09,559 We swapped. I'm wearing his socks. 235 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,359 Oh, for God's sake. 236 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:15,000 There's a difference between a frisky Greek and a metropolitan roue. 237 00:20:15,079 --> 00:20:19,559 I'm enjoying his conversation. It won't go any further than that. 238 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:25,359 Our boat-train leaves in two days, until then I want some lively company. 239 00:20:27,079 --> 00:20:29,720 Sorry, I was just being protective. 240 00:20:34,799 --> 00:20:39,519 Gosh, maybe I have had too much to drink. I'm out of practice. 241 00:20:40,519 --> 00:20:42,599 - Come to my room. - Why ? 242 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:49,240 God, no ! What ? I thought you had something interesting there to show me. 243 00:20:49,319 --> 00:20:50,559 I do. 244 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,359 No, no, I mean, like an interesting wardrobe or something. 245 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,599 I do actually have an interesting wardrobe. 246 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,000 Well, I will think about coming to see it. 247 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,799 On your knees. You're coming to the station. 248 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,480 You're going to make a fine policeman. 249 00:21:54,559 --> 00:21:57,400 I'll need you to arrest anyone who beats their donkey. 250 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,759 Well, if it's the law, sonny, then that's what I'll be doing. 251 00:22:08,759 --> 00:22:13,000 - Leaving darling ? - Yes. A guesthouse suits me better. 252 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,119 You don't want to run off. It's a free gaff. 253 00:22:18,279 --> 00:22:21,960 Leave that here and go and go and enjoy the city. 254 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:28,839 Have a bleeding adventure. 255 00:22:45,519 --> 00:22:47,759 Go on, old donkey. 256 00:22:51,319 --> 00:22:52,920 Go on, go on. 257 00:22:53,519 --> 00:22:55,160 Stop ! Please don't ! 258 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,119 Get out of the way, stupid child. 259 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,720 Look in his eyes ! He's nearly dead ! His leg hurts ! 260 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,920 Have him. He's useless anyway. 261 00:23:35,519 --> 00:23:37,240 More essence. 262 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,640 Anybody ? 263 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,480 May I speak with Mrs. Durrell please ? 264 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:03,279 She's currently indisposed. May I relay a communique ? 265 00:24:03,839 --> 00:24:05,400 Posh flunkey. 266 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:12,599 Yes, a valuable has gone missing, and we wonder if Mrs. Durrell has it. 267 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,960 - Why's she using that voice ? - It's her telephone voice. 268 00:24:16,839 --> 00:24:22,079 Mrs. Durrell seems very law abiding. Though they're often the worst. 269 00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:26,759 I'm sorry that she's... gawn. 270 00:24:29,039 --> 00:24:33,119 Will she be... gawn... for lawng ? 271 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,640 I'm not really sure. Cheerio. 272 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,160 You have a beautiful face, even when you are eating fish. 273 00:24:51,559 --> 00:24:53,960 No, no, no you can't talk like this. 274 00:24:54,039 --> 00:24:56,079 - What ? - Nothing about love, or bodies. 275 00:24:57,799 --> 00:25:02,359 - This stifado is not good. - Nothing rude about Greek things. 276 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:07,240 Look, Zoltan runs a business here, he pays tax here, you should be grateful. 277 00:25:08,279 --> 00:25:10,440 - I don't pay tax here... - You see ! 278 00:25:10,839 --> 00:25:14,119 Nor do you ! And you stole hummus from us ! 279 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,759 I'm just doing what your mother asked. 280 00:25:19,839 --> 00:25:22,519 Why do you care so much about Mrs. Durrell ? 281 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:27,240 Some people deserve to be cared for. Some do not. 282 00:25:27,319 --> 00:25:29,960 Too much bad feeling. I'm going back to work. 283 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,880 Zoltan, I'll see you after my mother returns. 284 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,200 Don't leave me alone with him ! 285 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,680 Have you been avoiding me ? 286 00:25:52,759 --> 00:25:57,119 No, I've been enjoying London. Apart from the traffic. 287 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:58,759 It's like Piccadilly Circus out there. 288 00:25:58,839 --> 00:26:02,160 - Which is funny because... - It is Piccadilly Circus out there. 289 00:26:05,839 --> 00:26:08,119 I am flattered by your attention, 290 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:11,359 and grateful for the bed, but I should probably leave. 291 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:15,640 No. Don't. I will behave. 292 00:26:27,799 --> 00:26:31,279 - Hello. I've brought a patient. - Well, bring him in then. 293 00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,440 Oh, hang on, it's not an... animal, is it ? 294 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,920 - Of course it is. - I rescued him. 295 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,559 I think his leg may be broken. 296 00:26:41,039 --> 00:26:43,880 If it is, you know he'll have to be put down, don't you ? 297 00:26:44,759 --> 00:26:47,839 - Yes. - Very well, let's have a look. 298 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,079 Lawrence. 299 00:27:02,559 --> 00:27:03,480 Hello. 300 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:06,880 What brings Dorset up to London ? 301 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,839 We couldn't get much sense out of the butler I spoke to. 302 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,200 Yes, he has just been sacked. 303 00:27:12,519 --> 00:27:15,880 And we need to speak to your mother urgently. Is she staying here ? 304 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,880 Erm, yes. 305 00:27:18,599 --> 00:27:20,240 Is that a... ? 306 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,640 Oh, goodness it is, how racy. 307 00:27:25,759 --> 00:27:28,440 Mother ! Worlds colliding ! 308 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:40,079 - Durant, my mother's relatives. - Doesn't that make us your relatives ? 309 00:27:40,519 --> 00:27:41,880 Welcome. Drinks ? 310 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,960 Thank you, but we'll just be in and out. 311 00:27:44,039 --> 00:27:48,400 - We're not huge people people. - But you look rather good value. 312 00:27:49,799 --> 00:27:53,359 I don't think we've ever been called good value before, have we dear ? 313 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,240 Oh, goodness. Well, hello all. 314 00:27:56,319 --> 00:27:58,200 Louisa will be glad for the reinforcements. 315 00:27:58,279 --> 00:28:00,240 We alarm her here with our rakish ways. 316 00:28:00,319 --> 00:28:01,680 Oh, hardly. 317 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:06,559 Up yours. 318 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,039 Up yours. 319 00:28:14,039 --> 00:28:16,799 So, Cousin Prue, why are you here ? 320 00:28:17,559 --> 00:28:22,359 - One of Auntie's necklaces is missing. - We have no choice but to suspect you. 321 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:27,319 Well, yes I borrowed it. But it's just glass. I didn't touch the real ones. 322 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,759 It is real. And extremely valuable. 323 00:28:29,839 --> 00:28:33,039 - Those huge gemstones are real ? - Where is the necklace ? 324 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,519 It's in my bedroom. I'll fetch it. 325 00:28:37,759 --> 00:28:43,559 Excellent. Well I'm off. If I'm quick I might catch the Royal Tournament. 326 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,200 Yes ? 327 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,200 Ah-ha ! My animal magnetism worked. 328 00:28:56,279 --> 00:28:59,599 Erm, no. I've come to look for my necklace. 329 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,079 When you say necklace I think you mean sensual enlightenment. 330 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,119 Well, no. If I mean that I'll say it. 331 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,759 - You had it last night. - Why so anxious ? 332 00:29:09,759 --> 00:29:14,559 - Oh well, it's very valuable. - Yes I know, it cost you your hair. 333 00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:19,559 - Hair that you could sit on. - Well no. I made that up, you idiot. 334 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,920 - Gosh, where is it ? - I don't know. I left it lying around. 335 00:29:25,319 --> 00:29:27,400 Somebody else must have picked it up. 336 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:28,400 Get off ! 337 00:29:33,039 --> 00:29:35,599 - And what do you do, Jonquil ? - Writer, darling. 338 00:29:36,319 --> 00:29:37,960 Ah, like Lawrence. 339 00:29:38,039 --> 00:29:39,759 - Yes. - But hopefully better. 340 00:29:41,279 --> 00:29:45,519 And you're an artist, Ruby. Why is that ? 341 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,079 Art is. 342 00:29:49,599 --> 00:29:51,519 Art is... ? 343 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:56,200 Nice ? 344 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,240 A picture just needs to be pretty, doesn't it ? 345 00:29:59,319 --> 00:30:00,480 Extraordinary. 346 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:07,920 I'm going mad. I forgot, I took the necklace to the bank for safe-keeping. 347 00:30:08,799 --> 00:30:10,599 I'll get it back in the morning. 348 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:15,119 Meanwhile, you must be getting that last train back to Ploddy-shire. 349 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,839 Yes, well we'll come back in the morning. 350 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,160 No, stay here overnight. 351 00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,000 Erm, no, no, we don't have our night garments. 352 00:30:22,079 --> 00:30:24,160 I'll lend you something. 353 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:28,640 Well, it would save another train fare. Do sit down. 354 00:30:58,240 --> 00:30:59,400 - What have you done ?! - Saved the day. 355 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,680 Stay in your room until I give the all-clear. 356 00:31:02,279 --> 00:31:03,359 Leslie ! 357 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:15,200 Stop ! 358 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:24,880 Oh, my God. 359 00:31:25,559 --> 00:31:26,920 Sorry. 360 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,119 You shot me ! 361 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,160 Oh, my God ! I'm so sorry. 362 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,279 Well, you shouldn't be seeing Margo, should you ? 363 00:31:40,359 --> 00:31:43,559 - You've been a bit naughty. - No, you are the naughty one ! 364 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,240 I'm used to the Greeks hating me, but now you too ?! 365 00:31:47,519 --> 00:31:50,440 I'm going to the police to report you for attempted murder ! 366 00:31:50,519 --> 00:31:52,440 - No. - No, no, no ! 367 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:02,240 Congratulations, you've gunned down poor Zoltan and made him hate me. 368 00:32:02,319 --> 00:32:05,359 You shouldn't be seeing him and I only winged him. 369 00:32:06,039 --> 00:32:10,279 I've spent weeks ironing out the worst of his defects and you destroy it all. 370 00:32:10,359 --> 00:32:12,920 Oh, so you've had a tiff. This is my whole existence ! 371 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,160 What are you going on about ? 372 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:18,920 The police won't take me now I look reckless, perhaps, slightly. 373 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,880 Especially as I've had run-ins with the law. 374 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,480 We told you it was a dumb idea. 375 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,000 I want Mother back. 376 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,680 What would the Parish Council say if they could see you now ? 377 00:32:50,759 --> 00:32:53,720 Yes, he's obviously not one for a sensible pyjama. 378 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,839 We're all having our minds stretched here. 379 00:32:57,319 --> 00:32:59,960 I don't know whether to walk towards it or run away. 380 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,599 I feel like one of the wise men. 381 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,079 I don't understand why you left the necklace with the bank 382 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:07,519 if you thought it wasn't valuable. 383 00:33:07,599 --> 00:33:11,799 Well it, it was included with my own valuables. 384 00:33:13,359 --> 00:33:16,480 It's worth more than the rest of Auntie's estate put together. 385 00:33:16,559 --> 00:33:19,759 If it's not returned, none of us will inherit anything. 386 00:33:21,279 --> 00:33:24,799 - Yes, well, we'll just... - Yes. Cocoa. 387 00:33:26,799 --> 00:33:30,319 Lovely to see a retired English insurance broker in a kaftan. 388 00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:34,920 That necklace I borrowed from my aunt. 389 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,440 It's really valuable and I've lost it here in the house. 390 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,920 I'm sorry, but I can only think one of your new arty friends has taken it. 391 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:47,000 - Why would you say that ? - Well, because they're amoral. 392 00:33:47,079 --> 00:33:49,000 And I'm sure they would say so themselves. 393 00:33:49,079 --> 00:33:50,359 These are my friends. 394 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:54,160 No matter how much absinthe you put away, or unsuitable flirting you do, 395 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,599 you're still really provincial, aren't you ? 396 00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:01,079 You can be louche and Bohemian but I can't, is that what you're saying ? 397 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:07,720 Well, where do you think your cherished liberal outlook comes from ? From me. 398 00:34:08,119 --> 00:34:09,800 You made Leslie too. 399 00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:13,159 If we're the same, why do I embrace the creativity 400 00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:16,320 and differentness of these people and you accuse them of theft ? 401 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:20,079 So, I should scuttle back to the provinces to be with my kind, 402 00:34:20,159 --> 00:34:24,719 with the Prues and the Geoffreys ? While you make whoopee with your mute. 403 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,800 I've found my world. It's thrilling. 404 00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:31,400 I want to stay here in England. 405 00:35:14,599 --> 00:35:16,679 You know what I need ? Air. 406 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,599 I haven't been out of the house for 48 hours. 407 00:35:22,119 --> 00:35:25,199 I'm sorry. I know the necklace is a worry, 408 00:35:26,199 --> 00:35:28,400 but these friends aren't the stealing kind. 409 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:31,840 - They don't believe in ownership. - Well, that's just daft. 410 00:35:32,679 --> 00:35:36,320 There, proof that I'm not the radical spirit you are. 411 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,440 - It's time I went home. - And Corfu is now home ? 412 00:35:43,039 --> 00:35:44,880 Yes, it is. 413 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,679 I'm missing the children. 414 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:50,119 And at this rate I'll be arrested for theft and never get back there. 415 00:35:50,199 --> 00:35:52,599 I don't think it will come to that. 416 00:35:53,599 --> 00:35:56,920 You don't really want to stay, do you ? For how long ? 417 00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:03,079 I don't know. I've fallen for Ruby. I'll stay here as long as she wants me. 418 00:36:11,199 --> 00:36:14,320 - Good morning, Superintendent. - Good morning, Leslie. 419 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,559 I'm afraid I must resign, already. 420 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:22,519 I slightly shot an innocent man with my crime-prevention system. Zoltan. 421 00:36:23,079 --> 00:36:25,559 That's the person, not the name of the system. 422 00:36:25,639 --> 00:36:27,639 And I should've said, I've been arrested twice. 423 00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:30,119 Once for drunken brawling and once for shooting turkeys 424 00:36:30,199 --> 00:36:32,800 belonging to a man that we named Crippenopoulos... 425 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,119 Nobody made a complaint against you. 426 00:36:35,199 --> 00:36:37,800 And we all shoot people by mistake sometimes. 427 00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:40,519 - I know. - Don't stray again. 428 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,639 But who better to fight crime than someone who has done some ? 429 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:46,760 Thank you. 430 00:36:49,119 --> 00:36:52,679 - Don't cry, that's unprofessional. - Oh, yeah, so... Sorry. 431 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:54,920 I'll see you in a week. 432 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:11,639 So, that is the donkey's metacarpal. 433 00:37:12,519 --> 00:37:16,400 Can you see ? And it's not broken. 434 00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:20,960 It's probably arthritis or bruising from repeated beatings. 435 00:37:21,039 --> 00:37:23,159 - So, it will heal ? - Yes. 436 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,800 But, Durrells, that's three times 437 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,960 you've had healthy limbs in to be x-rayed. 438 00:37:29,039 --> 00:37:30,559 - Sorry. - Sorry. 439 00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:36,639 Margo, perhaps you should take the day off and repair your broken heart. 440 00:37:43,199 --> 00:37:45,239 Ah. Morning, Louisa. 441 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,719 You haven't lived until you've slept in a mbubb like this. 442 00:37:49,079 --> 00:37:52,639 So, we'll accompany you to the bank to retrieve Auntie's necklace. 443 00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:55,320 Prue, Geoffrey, avert your eyes. Just... 444 00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,400 That's actually mine. 445 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,760 Perhaps you'd do the honours ? 446 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:09,280 I'll go to the bank on my own. See you shortly. 447 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,320 - Is it safe to look ? - Yeah. 448 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,159 Miss Margo. Still friends, I hope ? 449 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:31,000 Yes. But will you please help me to find Zoltan ? 450 00:38:31,079 --> 00:38:32,079 Your mother said... 451 00:38:32,159 --> 00:38:34,599 I know, but it isn't about me this time. 452 00:38:34,679 --> 00:38:36,480 I'm clearly doomed to be single. 453 00:38:36,559 --> 00:38:39,280 - Who is it about ? - You and Zoltan. 454 00:38:45,199 --> 00:38:46,760 Your portrait is finished. 455 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,360 That is you. 456 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,760 That is... 457 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,679 so good ! 458 00:39:04,599 --> 00:39:06,159 I'm like a glass of... 459 00:39:08,679 --> 00:39:12,480 I'd just better go say goodbye to my mother. 460 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:16,199 - Your mother is pretty. - Yes. She is. 461 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,039 Is she... 462 00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:20,719 available ? 463 00:39:24,519 --> 00:39:25,840 No. 464 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:30,239 You don't think that'd be... odd ? 465 00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,000 Zoltan, we're so sorry about what happened. 466 00:39:59,079 --> 00:40:02,440 Leslie's gone a bit mad since he got Daphne pregnant. 467 00:40:03,559 --> 00:40:06,000 Please still talk to me. 468 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,880 Of course. You make the stars come out at night. 469 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,559 - What does that mean ? - It's called poetry, Greek peasant. 470 00:40:14,639 --> 00:40:17,199 It's called bullshit, Turkish cretin. 471 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:21,039 Now, exactly, this is why you two need to settle your differences. 472 00:40:21,519 --> 00:40:24,880 Let's agree that Greeks and Turks have hated each other for far too long. 473 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,679 We are not going to end it today. 474 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,039 But this could be the beginning of the end. 475 00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:32,840 Spiros, tell me one thing you like about Turkish people. 476 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:39,440 - Zoltan ? - I like Greek... 477 00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:43,320 No, nothing. 478 00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:52,880 - Your Acropolis is good. - Hooray, we're off ! 479 00:40:54,639 --> 00:40:56,159 I like your belly dancing. 480 00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:07,920 Thank you. 481 00:41:10,519 --> 00:41:14,000 Sorry I was rude. Aunty's death has hit us rather hard. 482 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,880 She's left a big hole in East Dorset. 483 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,239 Well, you know where we are 484 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,920 if you ever want to kick off your shoes and swim in the Ionian Sea. 485 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,840 I think I will go home with you. Maybe I'm less of a radical than I thought. 486 00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,159 What happened ? 487 00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:42,760 In our family I'm used to playing the free-thinker. 488 00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:46,039 Out in the real world it's a bit harder. 489 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,239 How long have we got ? 490 00:41:49,639 --> 00:41:52,400 Couple of hours. God. Shopping ! 491 00:41:53,039 --> 00:41:54,719 Everyone ! We're off ! 492 00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,480 Oh, Durant. It's been an education. 493 00:42:01,199 --> 00:42:04,119 - Is that good ? - Yes, I think it is. 494 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,320 - We all want to feel loved. - My bed is still warm. 495 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,360 Yes, that's quite enough of that. 496 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:15,199 - You must all come join us in Corfu. - Oh, they won't want to do that. 497 00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,599 - Sure. - We may never leave. 498 00:42:19,639 --> 00:42:22,239 This donkey, Tony, was dead on his feet a few days ago. 499 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,679 But now he could plough a field before breakfast. 500 00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,519 I give you 30 drachma for Tony. 501 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,320 I'd better not. 502 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:32,679 Be kind to donkeys ! 503 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:38,039 Equus Africanus Asinus, worthy of your respect ! 504 00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:40,199 Love your ass ! 505 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,800 I saw the ferry about to dock. I think your mother and Larry are on it. 506 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:45,559 Could you... Sorry. 507 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,440 Thanks, Theo ! 508 00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:53,800 Lugaretzia hasn't been here for days. It must be her bad back. 509 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:01,119 Breakfast ! 510 00:43:02,679 --> 00:43:04,519 Mummy and Larry. On their way here. 511 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,119 So, how have the children been, Spiros ? 512 00:43:18,599 --> 00:43:20,400 - They were perfect. - Really ? 513 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:25,039 Yes, I kept Margo apart from Zoltan. But you were a bit harsh. 514 00:43:25,639 --> 00:43:29,320 - He's a good boy. - Hah, Spiros. Our new liberal ! 515 00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:31,519 - For a Turk. - That's more like it. 516 00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:06,880 I've missed you so much. 517 00:44:08,119 --> 00:44:10,159 - Mummy. - I've missed you too. 518 00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:13,320 - I've missed you. - I've even missed the animals. 519 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:15,679 - All right ? - Yep. 520 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:16,880 So, how did it go ? 521 00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:19,559 We fell among artists. It was wonderful. 522 00:44:19,639 --> 00:44:21,440 Oh mother, I've got a proper job ! 523 00:44:21,519 --> 00:44:24,199 - No ! Doing what ? - With the Corfu police force ! 524 00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:27,920 - Gifts from the homeland. - Yeah ! 525 00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:32,239 One family, entirely different people. 526 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,000 Let's go in. 527 00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,079 You didn't think we'd leave a mess, did you ? 528 00:44:51,159 --> 00:44:52,679 Not for a minute, darling. 529 00:44:54,679 --> 00:44:59,639 So, we buried Aunt Hermione, had an adventure or two. 530 00:45:00,679 --> 00:45:04,119 And we realised more than ever that we love it here. 531 00:45:05,559 --> 00:45:07,199 What the hell is this ? 532 00:45:22,199 --> 00:45:25,079 - That's how you left it. - It's just slovenly. 533 00:45:25,519 --> 00:45:29,519 - This isn't a doss-house. - Yes, tidy your room please, Larry. 534 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,719 You're not with your arty friends now. 535 00:45:33,639 --> 00:45:35,599 How could people live in that way ? 536 00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:46,119 End of episode 3, season 3 43577

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