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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,220 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to our show. 2 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:23,680 Tonight we have a most fascinating guest, one of the better ones we've ever 3 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:28,600 His name is Peter Longfellow, and he's made his fortune in a most unusual way. 4 00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:31,720 So let's get him out here and see what it's all about. 5 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,780 Mr. Peter Longfellow. 6 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,580 Thank you, 7 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,500 John. 8 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,220 It's really great to be here. 9 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,380 Peter, that is your real name, isn't it? 10 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:51,940 Well, Joan, I actually had it shortened to Pete, and we all know how painful 11 00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:52,940 that can be. 12 00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:54,120 That's a funny line. 13 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,620 Why don't you tell us how you became so famous? 14 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:58,520 Okay, Joan. 15 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:03,680 Well, despite every precaution I always took, I always got my girlfriends 16 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:09,740 pregnant, without fail, until my last girlfriend suggested that I offer my 17 00:01:09,740 --> 00:01:12,580 services to any woman who would like to become pregnant. 18 00:01:13,770 --> 00:01:17,910 So I put an ad in the local newspaper, and I've been busy ever since. 19 00:01:18,810 --> 00:01:20,710 Tell me about some of the times you've had. 20 00:01:21,850 --> 00:01:27,090 Okay. Also, I brought along some clips of a movie that I had made about my life 21 00:01:27,090 --> 00:01:29,710 story. Did you give them to the production manager? 22 00:01:30,130 --> 00:01:31,650 Oh, yes. I dropped them off already. 23 00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:36,010 Now, this first one deals with a gentleman who wanted me to get his wife 24 00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:40,950 pregnant. Okay. Well, let's take a look at them. And you folks in the audience, 25 00:01:41,130 --> 00:01:42,130 watch the monitors. 26 00:01:51,370 --> 00:01:53,330 You release me from all legal liabilities. 27 00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:02,850 Okay. 28 00:02:03,670 --> 00:02:06,230 All I need now is a check for half the amount. 29 00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:13,170 Are you sure of that? Sure. There you go. 30 00:02:29,290 --> 00:02:30,290 Okay, great. 31 00:02:30,470 --> 00:02:32,630 And the other half when she becomes pregnant. 32 00:02:33,630 --> 00:02:34,950 Now, are there any questions? 33 00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:37,150 Oh, is it okay if he stays and watches? 34 00:02:38,150 --> 00:02:42,030 Well, I have no objections, but may I ask why? 35 00:02:42,570 --> 00:02:44,490 After all, he is paying for all of this. 36 00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:47,310 Okay. Okay. 37 00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:52,530 We're ready to begin now, and my assistant will prepare you. 38 00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:08,950 So, Jim, you know, you may get turned on by all this. 39 00:03:11,030 --> 00:03:12,410 Well, maybe I'll do more than watch. 40 00:03:13,450 --> 00:03:15,190 Well, feel free to join in. 41 00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:17,490 My assistant will be glad to help you out. 42 00:03:18,550 --> 00:03:20,050 And we'll just add it to the bill. 43 00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:25,490 You 44 00:03:25,490 --> 00:03:32,470 have 45 00:03:32,470 --> 00:03:33,470 beautiful skin. 46 00:03:48,940 --> 00:03:50,160 Comfortable? Yes. 47 00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:53,740 You have a very nice body. 48 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,860 Thank you. So do you. 49 00:03:57,580 --> 00:03:59,520 I'm going to put a little oil on you. 50 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,000 Oil? 51 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:02,680 What for? 52 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,460 For lubrication. 53 00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,150 You're already wet. 54 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:23,850 Yes, I'm ready 55 00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:48,450 She's 56 00:04:48,450 --> 00:04:49,450 ready 57 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:54,110 I can see that But I'm not 58 00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:57,950 Prepare me 59 00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:22,890 Am I a good assistant? 60 00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:25,990 You're doing great. 61 00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:35,130 Yes. 62 00:05:48,770 --> 00:05:50,850 Oh, yeah, it's great. 63 00:05:51,290 --> 00:05:52,290 Amen. 64 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,720 Thank you. 65 00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:59,310 Oh my God. 66 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:58,480 Oh. 67 00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:51,380 I got you some toys. 68 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:52,920 You did? 69 00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:56,700 What kind? 70 00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:58,900 I'll sell you. 71 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:50,880 Bye. Bye. 72 00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,220 all over my wife. 73 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,260 How do you expect to get her pregnant that way? 74 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,720 You never said you wanted triplets. 75 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,680 Besides, you'll get your money's worth. 76 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:30,880 She'll get pregnant. 77 00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:44,220 Some very interesting and unusual footage there. 78 00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:45,960 Thank you. Did you get her pregnant? 79 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:47,620 Yes, I did. 80 00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:48,980 And I got paid. 81 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:51,480 Great. 82 00:20:51,980 --> 00:20:55,100 So why don't you tell us about one of your most exciting experiences? 83 00:20:56,180 --> 00:21:01,120 Okay, one of the most exciting ones, I guess, dealt with a very wealthy lady. 84 00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:05,900 She must have really liked me, because she asked me what my favorite fantasy 85 00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:10,600 was. And I told her it was with two bisexual high school girls. 86 00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:16,800 And so she provided the high school girls, and she must have really wanted 87 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:20,760 get so excited that I would come like crazy inside her. 88 00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:24,860 But what she didn't know was that I had enough for the three of them. 89 00:21:25,620 --> 00:21:28,060 Really? Did you bring a clip of this? 90 00:21:28,540 --> 00:21:29,540 Oh, yes. 91 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,040 Great. Let's see them. 92 00:25:18,820 --> 00:25:20,000 Peter, you can join in. 93 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:22,760 Save it for me. 94 00:27:04,629 --> 00:27:06,030 Yeah. 95 00:27:58,169 --> 00:28:00,970 uh oh 96 00:29:28,779 --> 00:29:31,580 uh uh 97 00:30:07,830 --> 00:30:13,610 Mrs. Wilson, I came here to collect the bill, but I 98 00:30:13,610 --> 00:30:19,390 was wondering if I might join in with you good folk? 99 00:30:19,830 --> 00:30:20,830 Don't join them. 100 00:30:21,230 --> 00:30:22,230 Join me. 101 00:30:25,689 --> 00:30:28,490 Oh. Oh. 102 00:30:29,210 --> 00:30:30,210 Oh. 103 00:30:30,710 --> 00:30:33,490 Oh. Oh. 104 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:58,940 uh uh uh 105 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:33,200 So good with you. 106 00:32:33,420 --> 00:32:34,480 Oh, God. 107 00:32:35,260 --> 00:32:36,600 Oh, faith. 108 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:38,600 Oh, Jesus. 109 00:34:14,380 --> 00:34:18,980 Oh, look at those cheeks. 110 00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:21,040 Oh, she's so pretty. 111 00:34:21,679 --> 00:34:22,719 She's so pretty. 112 00:35:34,759 --> 00:35:37,560 um wow 113 00:36:04,460 --> 00:36:05,460 Thank you. 114 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,000 Go. 115 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:53,100 I've been delivering to your door for a long time, but I never thought I'd 116 00:36:53,100 --> 00:36:54,260 deliver anything like this. 117 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,020 Oh, God. 118 00:37:39,259 --> 00:37:40,259 Thank you. 119 00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:17,140 Oh, you made me kill. I'm just so good. 120 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:23,360 It's got more vibrates. 121 00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:26,600 It's the top drawer. 122 00:39:47,460 --> 00:39:50,620 Faster! Faster! 123 00:40:56,430 --> 00:41:00,110 I'm going to go over and meet your other friends, and I think your friend wants 124 00:41:00,110 --> 00:41:03,490 to come and join you. I promise I'll try to be back. I'll see you later, Mrs. 125 00:41:03,630 --> 00:41:04,630 Wilson. 126 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,340 So good with you. Oh, God. 127 00:43:48,540 --> 00:43:49,540 Oh, babe. 128 00:47:15,980 --> 00:47:17,800 We're back here with Peter Longfellow. 129 00:47:18,580 --> 00:47:23,120 It seems to me, Peter, that you get very excited easily. 130 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,380 Joan, I'd like you to know something. 131 00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:32,680 I've made love in airplanes, boats, basements, tree houses, 132 00:47:33,020 --> 00:47:34,140 cars, buses. 133 00:47:34,940 --> 00:47:38,060 I can make love anytime, anyplace. 134 00:47:38,580 --> 00:47:43,220 Well, we're going to go to a commercial for a few minutes, and the crew's going 135 00:47:43,220 --> 00:47:45,060 to take a break, so... 136 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:47,300 How about if you give me a little demonstration? 137 00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:49,940 Right here, right now? 138 00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,120 You said anytime, anyplace. 139 00:47:53,780 --> 00:47:54,780 Okay. 140 00:49:05,580 --> 00:49:06,580 Ugh. 141 00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:49,440 Oh, yes. 142 00:51:39,530 --> 00:51:40,530 Ah. 143 00:55:20,460 --> 00:55:23,240 uh uh 144 00:55:51,980 --> 00:55:52,980 Ugh. 145 00:57:19,310 --> 00:57:20,310 Okay. 146 00:57:56,700 --> 00:57:58,500 Help me. 147 00:57:59,020 --> 00:58:04,140 Help me. 148 01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:21,700 Sure, sure. It sure has got me excited. 149 01:01:22,300 --> 01:01:23,300 Me too. 150 01:01:24,740 --> 01:01:26,740 Well, we both should really be satisfied. 151 01:01:27,780 --> 01:01:29,660 Well, I want a man. 152 01:01:30,660 --> 01:01:31,840 Who should we call? 153 01:01:33,460 --> 01:01:34,460 Why not Peter? 154 01:01:36,240 --> 01:01:38,080 Yeah, why don't you call Peter at the station? 155 01:01:39,460 --> 01:01:41,920 I'll call him at the station because I know the number. 156 01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:03,440 Hello? Yes, hold on. 157 01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:04,840 It's for you. 158 01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:06,280 Thanks. 159 01:02:06,780 --> 01:02:07,780 Hello? 160 01:02:09,140 --> 01:02:10,140 Oh, yeah? 161 01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:12,820 Sure, I think I can handle that. No problem. 162 01:02:13,860 --> 01:02:15,220 Hang on a second. Let me get your address. 163 01:02:19,860 --> 01:02:20,860 Okay. 164 01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:23,240 All right. 165 01:02:25,220 --> 01:02:26,600 Great. All right. 166 01:02:27,260 --> 01:02:29,300 All right, I'll be over right after we're done taping. 167 01:02:29,930 --> 01:02:31,210 Great. Bye -bye. 168 01:02:31,550 --> 01:02:32,550 Thanks. 169 01:02:35,210 --> 01:02:36,270 More work? 170 01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:56,780 This show has got me excited. 171 01:03:57,420 --> 01:03:58,420 Me too. 172 01:04:05,340 --> 01:04:06,340 Silence. 173 01:04:07,060 --> 01:04:08,980 On the air in ten seconds. 174 01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:10,780 Excuse me, are you finished? Yes. 175 01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:12,240 Attention, Joanna. 176 01:04:12,340 --> 01:04:13,900 We'll be on in five seconds. 177 01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:15,600 Ready? Okay. 178 01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:17,500 One, two. 179 01:04:19,460 --> 01:04:22,520 Well, we're back with Peter Longfellow. 180 01:04:23,100 --> 01:04:24,140 Tell me, Peter. 181 01:04:24,540 --> 01:04:27,960 You've had your share of successes, but you've had failures as well, haven't 182 01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:28,960 you? 183 01:04:29,240 --> 01:04:31,700 Well, actually, Joan, I've never failed. 184 01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:36,580 In fact, my sperms are so strong, I've even got ladies pregnant who are on the 185 01:04:36,580 --> 01:04:38,240 pill and the IUD. 186 01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:41,220 Joan. Joan, I think she's fainted. 187 01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:46,540 Are you okay? 188 01:04:47,520 --> 01:04:48,520 You all right? 189 01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:49,800 Oh, yeah, sure. 190 01:05:39,470 --> 01:05:40,470 Ugh. 191 01:06:26,930 --> 01:06:27,870 It's okay 192 01:06:27,870 --> 01:06:37,630 to 193 01:06:37,630 --> 01:06:38,630 do it. 194 01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:44,120 Thank you. 195 01:10:52,550 --> 01:10:55,350 uh oh 196 01:11:18,530 --> 01:11:21,330 uh oh 197 01:11:50,440 --> 01:11:51,840 um 198 01:13:07,920 --> 01:13:09,720 We didn't see the last of the film. 199 01:13:10,220 --> 01:13:11,220 You didn't? 200 01:13:11,360 --> 01:13:13,800 Well, I brought a tape with me. You want to see that? 201 01:13:14,660 --> 01:13:15,680 No, that'll be okay. 202 01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:17,520 Why don't you just tell us about it? 203 01:13:18,420 --> 01:13:23,280 Okay. Well, as soon as she found out she was going to get pregnant, she fainted. 204 01:13:23,680 --> 01:13:27,880 I don't understand how she can get pregnant. I mean, she must be taking the 205 01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:29,920 or have an IUD or something. 206 01:13:30,500 --> 01:13:34,740 Well, my sperms are so potent that I can get a girl pregnant no matter what 207 01:13:34,740 --> 01:13:35,740 she's taking. 208 01:13:35,980 --> 01:13:38,300 You mean we're going to get pregnant? 209 01:13:38,840 --> 01:13:39,840 Well, of course. 13184