All language subtitles for Northern.Lights.2019.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC

It's okay, it'll go fine.

There's nothing more I want, Rob.

I know, I know.

It's just not going in, any of it. It
is. I know you're past them and you've

time.

It's tomorrow, Rob.

You've got all day for it to go in.

You've been revising for this exam for
weeks.

It's all in there somewhere, you just
need to stop stressing.

It's just, my mum always said to me, get
your maths GCSE, that's your most

important exam ever.

If you don't get your maths, then you
won't get into college.

And if you don't get into college, then
you won't get into uni.

And if you don't get into uni, then you
won't get a good job. And if you don't

get a good job, then... Your mum said
that. Yes.

Well, not all of it, but... You're not
going to fail, Emma.

And even if you did, you can redo it at
college.

If x equals 3, then what's 2x?

I don't know.

Take 2 and times it by 3.

6. Exactly.

You just have to times the number that's
next to X.

You see, I knew that. It's just not gone
in.

Why do you know this anyway? You don't
need any of this to be an author.

What if the writing falls through?

Well, it won't. You're good.

I mean, you've never read anything I've
written.

Well, I did back in year six when Mr
Higgins read it out. I was like nine

Still!

You never tell me about anything you've
written. What are you writing about

anyway? I don't know. I started writing
the beginning of a book, but it's just

practice, really. It's not going to go
anywhere.

I'll probably just bin it when I'm done.

Are you going to tell me what it's
about?

No chance.

A hint?

It's about a young femme fatale who
innocently destroys the guy that loves

Is that all I get? That's all you're
ever going to get.

I'll find a way of reading it somehow.

You're really far. A, allow you to, or
B, die.

Don't say that.

Dad said he's aging.

Mia Jones in 5M.

Who's Jones?

Psychiatrist. Oh, right.

But it's not for another hour. Why the
hell do we have to leave now?

Yeah, well, he said he's ready for
going.

Right then.

Have you taken the tablets?

Yes, I'm taking them now.

I just don't want you going loopy on me
again. Yes, okay, thank you, Mia.

You're welcome.

Can you go out for a minute, Mia?

Are you alright watching her until my
dad gets back?

Yeah, sure. It's just an excuse to talk
about footy for another hour.

Thanks, Rob. You are my best friend.

I know.

You taking your meds?

Yes.

You got money for your fair home?

What's this?

Must have been from ages ago.

Of course it is.

Right, are we going?

Don't think I don't know?

Know what?

You know what?

I don't.

If you don't ask her out soon, Rob,
she'll have gone off to college and

another bloke.

I don't like her like that, me.

You're a flippin' liar.

Right, chill. Don't you want to talk
about my new instead?

Rob, I can read you like a book.

Oh, Emma, I can't tell you how much I
want you, Emma.

I'm dying now, Baba.

So, Emma, I'd like us to try something a
little bit different today.

If I were to ask you to pick one of
these images that you think shows

about you, which would it be?

What made you pick that one?

I don't know. Can I change my mind? Of
course. Take your time.

Why did you pick that one?

Well, I guess it's because it's not
obvious what it is.

It's not fully black and it's not fully
white.

I don't really understand it and it
seems a bit out of place.

I don't want to sound like I'm going too
deep.

No, it's good.

Not everything in life can be explained
simply, can it?

So, how are things?

All right, I guess.

Just all right?

Last week, we were talking about your
dad.

Anything changed?

He's just the same.

And do you still feel the same about it
all?

I don't really think there's a certain
feeling.

Exams.

They're going well.

I'll take that as a no.

Well, I finished P, English and ICT.

I've got my non -calc maths tomorrow.

How do you feel they went?

All right. Not amazing, but... Yeah, all
right.

But it's important to remember that this
exam isn't the be -all and end -all to

life, so let's keep things in
perspective, eh?

Remember the techniques we talked about?
Coping mechanisms, breathing exercises.

Do you want me to go through those again
with you? No, no, I remember them.

Okay.

So last week we talked about your mum.

But we didn't really get to the root
cause of your anxiety.

So could you tell me in the most
descriptive way possible,

how does an episode feel for you?

What, like the attacks themselves?

Well, how do they start?

What's the trigger, the feeling, lack of
feeling?

Mental, physical, everything.

The more you tell me, the better picture
I get of how to look into your anxiety

and how to help you cope with it.

OK, well... It kind of starts like...

OK.

Take your time.

I'm here for as long as you need.

It always starts the same.

It comes on really fast.

I feel as though my whole body's closing
in, like I'm in a box.

I can't breathe.

and then cold and my body's shivering
and then there's a cold sweat and my

feels like it's about to explode and you
just never feel like you're going to

come out the end of it and I don't know
why but my conscience keeps saying stuff

to me like my best friend's going to
leave me or that my mum's death was my

fault and it's just... When did these
episodes start then?

When your mum passed on?

Well, the funny thing is I don't
remember.

I know I didn't have them when she was
alive, but I don't really think that

like, the trigger.

I just started getting them.

I didn't tell anyone I was getting them
because I didn't want to upset my dad

even more or drag my family even further
down.

You know, I worry about Mia.

I don't even think I knew what a panic
attack was or that that was what I was

experiencing.

and it's something I would experience.

And then one day, I went to this new
restaurant with Dad and Mia down in

and I just froze.

And I had the worst attack ever and they
saw all of it.

Dad was devastated.

Kept getting upset and drinking heavily
and just sort of fell down from there.

And your dad, is he still drinking?

No, no, I don't think so.

I mean, you used to be able to tell, but
it's a bit different about everything

now. I think he's just depressed or
something.

Ems, what are you doing?

Advising. That's what you think I'm
doing.

Go tell Dad that. In fact, get him a
glass so he can join me.

Dad's not home yet.

Surprise.

Ems, come in. Stop it.

You go in.

You're acting stupid, Emma.

You're stupid. Just get out of my face.

Give me your phone, Ems.

No. Get your own.

You. Better not call Dad.

Thanks for coming, Mum.

It's fine.

I heard you nighted one. Yeah, I did.

Oh, come on, you.

You get up, come on.

Thanks, Mum.

Love you.

I've messed up, Rob.

Real bad.

It's alright.

I'm sure I've done fine.

And even if you did mess up, you still
got the calculator exam.

It's just not good enough.

How could I let myself get in that much
of a state?

Well, why did you?

What? Drink.

I just needed to stop thinking for a
minute.

To stop being me.

I saw myself having another panic attack
and I thought... Well, I don't know

what I thought.

Alcohol doesn't help. I should have
known that. The doctors told me that.

It was a bit stupid, to be honest. I
mean, you know I'm not happy. I know, I

know. I'm sorry.

I didn't think she'd call you.

Yeah, it's fine, it's fine.

So, when's your next exam?

Not for another week.

Right, well, I've got a plan.

Okay, for?

I think you need to go out and do stuff
to take your mind off the exams.

Yeah? So I propose that we go out
tomorrow.

And no shopping.

Oh my god, really?

Yeah. Thanks, Rob. You're the best.

I know, I know.

Right, well I'll go check with me and
see if she's up for it.

Alright, I'll be at yours at eight. And
be ready.

Okay, bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

You put the phone down.

You put the phone down.

Oh, jeez.

Baby, you got me feeling some kind of
way.

Don't let it change the rest of my days.
Get closer to me.

Oh, my darling, find a special place in
my heart.

Used to be dark, light of a star.

I'm finding new hearts.

Yes, I'm trying to be sweet, babe.

There's a little, little fire in me,
babe.

The way that you speak, babe.

Talk my ear off, won't you please, babe?

Can't ever hate to waste my time.

Thinking of ways to make you smile.

Doesn't take your taste in the sky.

Cause baby, baby.

They don't shine quite like you

Quite like

you Quite

like you Quite

like you

So with your eyes closed, I'd like you
to take a nice deep breath in through

nose, fill those lungs and out through
the mouth.

Good.

And remember that happy place we talked
about in our first session.

Think about it in all of its depth, all
of its colour.

And just let yourself go free in it.

of rubbish.

Excuse me, Mrs.

Your big sister has an important exam
tomorrow and this is a very important

of her relaxation process.

I allowed you to sit there and play on
the understanding that you keep this

shut. Okay?

You'll have a job with that.

What are we laughing at?

She's a handful, isn't she? Sorry about
her.

Don't say sorry for me.

Mia. Emma.

I couldn't leave her at home on her own.
Don't worry, I understand.

You could have. I was quite happy
watching the United game, but you had to

me along.

Check her out, Ronaldo over there.
Football fan are we?

Where'd she get that from?

My best mate.

He's my best mate too.

We share him.

Is this the one you were telling me
about likes to write?

Yeah, and secretly wants to be the next
Alex Ferguson.

Can we go now?

Okay.

So with your eyes closed, I'd like you
to take a nice deep breath in through

nose and out through the mouth.

When's the next bus coming?

Ten minutes.

That was stupid today. She didn't know
what the hell she was going on about.

Oi, with the language.

So what? I'm nearly 11 and then soon you
won't be able to tell me what to do.

Oh, won't I?

Yeah, you won't.

I'm serious about Joan, though.

Pay me a minute and how do you feel
about that?

Biggest waste of time in my life. She
couldn't even send me to sleep.

She's not a hypnotist, mate.

Or whatever she is. She's boring.

Nice, but boring.

I think...

I should get a psychologist.

Why? Well, I got angry today.

Oh, did you?

Yeah. Mrs Thomas said Sarah's volcano is
the best, but everyone knows mine is

better. I thought you liked Sarah.

Not anymore, bitch.

Mia, again?

I only liked her because her dad has a
Porsche.

And anyways, she said she was happy they
left one day and no one talks to her

anymore. I bet the teachers love you.

Sarkozy. No.

Night, me.

Night, Emma.

Love you.

Love you too.

Joking. No, you're not.

Good luck tomorrow.

I've messed up, Bob.

We were bad.

It's all right. It's working fine.

Can I come in, Emma?

Why?

Because I want to talk to you.

Look, I know it might not have been... I
don't want to talk about it.

What do you think you're doing?

Calm down.

You want me to calm down?

Can't you see my whole future is fucked
if I fail this exam?

No, it's not.

That's what Mum said.

She told me I had to get a pass.

Your mum just wanted what was best for
you. Don't try and tell me what mum

wanted for me.

You weren't there.

Not when she was alive, not when she was
dead.

You were too busy working or too busy
drinking when she was gone.

You just don't understand. You never
have.

Emma.

You didn't shed a tear when she was
gone. I don't understand.

If you love someone and they die, you
feel... You have to feel something.

Why didn't you cry? Why didn't you cry?

Mia, can you stop bouncing that ball for
a minute? It's doing my head in.

Fine.

I'm so glad it's summer and we can just
relax after it all.

Yeah, well, we got through it.

Isn't it weird that in no time at all
Mia will be doing hers?

Yeah. Top tip though, mate. Do not get
drunk the night before your maths exam.

Yeah, well, you'll know when it comes to
results day.

Me and your sister better tenor.

I said you'll pass and she says you're
going to fail.

Nice to know you've got so much
confidence in me, me.

You're welcome.

So, what's that supposed to do?

Exfoliate the skin and make it look
good.

You can't polish a turd. Mia!

Come on, Mia.

I don't encourage her.

Do you want to play footy with me?

No, I'm alright, thanks, Mia.

Why not? I've never seen you play footy
yet you talk about it all the time.

It can't be.

Why not?

Because Mia Johnson.

I have a little hole in my heart and
they say I shouldn't play because of it.

Can't they ever fill it in?

No.

Who is it?

You know Mark?

Oh, yeah. I should come camping with him
and his mates.

Yeah, how did you know?

I have inside information.

Where are you going?

Newquay.

Sounds like a nice trip.

Very cultured.

Anyway, he's invited me on a date this
weekend.

Have we?

Oh, hang on. You tried to call.

Hello.

You're pigging life out.

What? You know what?

Not this again.

Yeah, this again. And if you don't make
a flaming move, Mark will.

She doesn't like me. Just stop.

I won't stop and you know I won't.
You're perfect for it and you don't know

doesn't like you back because you
haven't asked her.

Ask her, Rob.

Ask me what?

Hi, Emma.

What's up?

Nothing. We were just talking about you.

Saying what?

Oh, just stuff like how... How annoying
you are when you snore.

I snore?

Yeah, lots, especially when you're
drunk.

But we weren't, though, were we, Rob?

Look, if it's going to offend me, keep
it to yourselves, you two.

Emma.

Snuffy.

Hilarious, Rob.

I'm gonna go now.

Why?

I've just got some stuff to do.

Like what?

Just stuff.

Okay, well give us a hug.

You look gorgeous.

Thanks me.

I wish I was as beautiful as you.

You are.

Our mommy was the most beautiful woman
around here.

At least that's what dad used to say to
her.

And that's why you look like that now.

Luckily we inherited the good luck genes
from mom and dad gave us, so at all.

Don't tell him that though.

Do you remember Mummy?

No.

A bit, maybe.

You would have liked her.

She was a lot like you.

A bit ditzy at times and talked too
much, but she was the best.

And she would have loved you so much.

Right, come on, you're ruining my
makeup.

You've been playing for 23 years. Isn't
all these championships and FA games...

How do you have time to learn all this?

It's repetition, isn't it?

There's too much time on your hands,
more like.

I've got time for three things.

Football, writing and page three goals.

Ew. I'm just being honest.

You're just being honest and then
there's too much information. You're

Driver, I lied.

Well, I'd rather not know about your
late night activities, thank you.

Who says they're always late at night? I
mean, it could be the morning or the

afternoon. I find the morning to be
quiet. Okay, Rob.

I mean, I was asking after you.

Oh, was she sure of it?

Yeah, she was just worried because she'd
not seen you in a few days and thought

something was up.

I mean, she thinks the world of you.

I mean, who wouldn't?

I think she's trying to set us up. She
doesn't understand that we're just

does she?

No.

Was there anything up?

Oh, no, of course, but I was just busy.

You're never busy.

Yeah, well, the traffic was bad near up
the mill, so I couldn't go to her

dinners today.

Oh, was it?

Yeah, it was bad.

So, how was your date?

Is he Facebook official now, or...? Oh,
with Mark?

Yeah, I mean, well... Well, actually,
no.

He stood me up, so... I hate men.

Knob.

I mean, it's fine, it's fine. It
wouldn't have worked anyway. He's

knob.

Yeah. I mean, he's from Todd, so... Oh,
there's nothing wrong with Todd just

because you're from Lancaster.

Yeah, but when you come from a great
town like Oldham, everywhere else is

to be crap. And especially Yorkshire, I
mean, it's full of farmers and sheep.

Oh, for the hundredth time, why do you
think everyone from Yorkshire's a

Because it is, there's more sheep than
people. Oh, it's obviously not.

You're not even from Yorkshire, you're
from Ireland, you don't even have a cow

or a sheep or anything.

Do you remember when we were kids and we
used to run around here?

Yeah, and when we saw your dad's spray
paint and wrote our names there.

Yeah, I remember we used to climb those
boulders and pretend we were monkeys and

our mums would just watch and say things
like, ooh, aren't you clever, and

pretend to be impressed as we skillfully
and manoeuvred from one to the other.

That was before all the anxiety kicked
in.

My mum was still alive and I... Didn't
have to deal with this every day.

No pressure, no exams. I just want to go
back to that point.

I mean, the past has changed. Even the
future's changing. Like, have you seen

the lights?

What lights?

I swear I've told you about this before.

I don't think you have.

Well, you know those lights we grew up
with?

The ones that make Manchester and the
north of that orangey glow?

They're powered by sodium.

And the government, in a few months, are
going to change them to LEDs because

they're more efficient.

But because of that...

That golden feud that makes Oldham
Oldham and Halifax Halifax.

It's going to be gone.

I know it's only a small change for
some, but... No, no, I get what you

When Mum was alive, she used to make me
look out the window and she'd say, you

see those lights scattered in the
darkness?

They're all fairies and they only come
out to play at night.

Of course I believed her until I
realised they were streetlights, but

something magical about them.

Everything's going to change, I can
sense it.

I mean, you're going to go to college
and so am I and there's going to be

different classes and everything's going
to be different.

Well, you're not going to abandon me,
are you? Of course not, never.

Well, then there's nothing to worry
about.

I don't know what I'd do without you,
Rob.

No, I'm fantastic.

You have to go now.

Yeah, but I don't want to, though.

I thought you liked watching your mates
play footy.

I'd rather be here with you and...
Anyways, it hurts watching them when I

play. Yeah, I think Mark's playing with
the lads tonight.

He's captain of the school team and they
reckon he's going to get signed for

Oldham.

Knob.

Right, go on, get off.

All right.

Text me tonight and let me know if
anything happens.

All right.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Nice one, huh?

At least he was doing something he
loved, Emma.

Oh, hello there.

Hello.

I'm Rob's Auntie Pauline.

I don't know if you remember me from the
funeral.

Yeah, do you know how I met? Oh, no, no,
no.

I was just wondering if you'd give your
sister this.

I've just been going through some of
Rob's things.

I think Emma would like to see it. Will
you make sure she gets it?

Oh, OK.

How is she? Is she OK?

Well done, love.

You did it.

Your mum will be so proud of you.

There was something so unobtainable in
her eyes.

She was so distant and lost in a world
that mere humans like me could never

quite reach.

When we were younger, there was no hint
of desire for anything beyond that and

this is what always drew me to her.

She was the ultimate landmark for me.

All my hopes and dreams and the future
wrapped up in them deep green eyes.

She was trying to fit into a modern
world when in reality,

A heartbeat to the sound of the land,
the villages and the people that

surrounded her.

Because she is a northern light, a
beacon of light breaking through the

Who was it that said that we needed to
fit into that world anyway?

I said I wasn't fond of Yorkshire, but
it was more that I didn't know how to

deal with the beauty of it.

For God's sake, I sound so pretentious,
but I don't care anymore.

He walks in beauty and I walk in shadow.

I know that I'm not a bright and
fascinating light in a life, more of a

really, but together we are powerful.

We are the Northern Lights.

And this is about as romantic as I will
ever get.

Note to self, I must speak to Mr Higgins
about this.

For now though, my tongs tied and I very
much doubt a Dean Notting will ever

take place.

For now, I'll just have to be content
with the small part of her that I have.

I have love and friendship and I think I
can live with that.

We play the thing.

Please let me stay.

Nothing left.

Fail the test.

It just cuts me.

Here's the results, Rob.

I know you'd love to see them.

Can you guess who won last week?

My new one, Rob.

My new one.

Here's the tenner that I owe you, Rob.

She got a B.

She got a B!