All language subtitles for Il Secondo Tragico Fantozzi (1976) [1080p] [WEBRip] [YTS.MX].en

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:45,221 --> 00:00:47,950 Hello, good night, ahem... good morning Mrs... 2 00:00:48,127 --> 00:00:50,315 Mrs. Earl-Duke Margherita Semenzara! 3 00:00:50,648 --> 00:00:54,523 How did I know it was you? I didn't. I could swear it was you. 4 00:00:54,794 --> 00:00:57,440 I recognized you by your noble voice. 5 00:00:57,533 --> 00:01:00,908 You'd like to speak with your noble husband? 6 00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:05,585 He's in Standing Commettee since last night in the "Great Council of the 10 Absentees". 7 00:01:05,763 --> 00:01:08,513 I have precise orders not to put anyone through... 8 00:01:09,158 --> 00:01:10,794 But if you really insist... 9 00:01:10,825 --> 00:01:12,346 Oh, you're not insisting? You're... 10 00:01:12,460 --> 00:01:13,398 ...commanding me? OK. 11 00:01:13,565 --> 00:01:16,440 In that case, hold on I'll put you through to the Council. 12 00:01:16,898 --> 00:01:17,992 Just a moment. 13 00:01:18,148 --> 00:01:20,544 Hello? Council of the Ten Absentees here. 14 00:01:20,773 --> 00:01:24,273 I have a call for Earl Semenzara, from Mrs. Earl... Earl-Duke. 15 00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:26,044 Please wait. 16 00:01:26,148 --> 00:01:28,981 Please wait Mrs, while I put your husband through. 17 00:01:33,075 --> 00:01:38,752 Hello! Here I am, my jealous dearie. Did you think I was out boning whores? He-he 18 00:01:39,325 --> 00:01:42,617 Semenzara doesn't fool around. Semenzara works even at night... 19 00:01:42,617 --> 00:01:44,523 to sustain you and the family. 20 00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:46,533 He's not afraid of being checked upon. 21 00:01:46,585 --> 00:01:49,221 Now forgive me but I must go. We've got a voting. 22 00:01:49,221 --> 00:01:50,367 Bye, bye... 23 00:01:52,867 --> 00:01:53,752 What did you say? 24 00:01:53,794 --> 00:01:58,356 Nothing, he just sped up a bit because he had to go voting. 25 00:01:59,283 --> 00:02:02,575 He said to rest easy. 26 00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:08,065 Alright, goodnight... good day... ahem... bye, Mrs. Earl-Duke. 27 00:02:32,127 --> 00:02:39,335 - Who goes there? - Fantozzi Ugo, accountant, ID 7829/bis. I was doing overtime. 28 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,075 You could have warned me! 29 00:02:41,877 --> 00:02:46,190 Sorry if I startled you, Mr. Night-watchman. 30 00:02:53,856 --> 00:02:58,210 Thank you, good day and goodnight. Goodbye, Mr Night-watchman. 31 00:03:14,138 --> 00:03:15,315 Good morning, madam. 32 00:03:22,763 --> 00:03:26,721 No, please! Your colleague upstairs shot me already! 33 00:03:27,044 --> 00:03:31,898 Apologies. Maybe the next time. Good... good day! 34 00:03:44,773 --> 00:03:47,492 - We're waiting for you. - We're waiting for you. 35 00:03:50,242 --> 00:03:52,013 WE'RE WAITING FOR YOU 36 00:04:42,252 --> 00:04:43,638 Let me through! 37 00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:48,585 Please! They are awaiting me at home. 38 00:04:51,106 --> 00:04:53,106 Coward! Leave the windscreen alone! 39 00:04:53,106 --> 00:04:56,252 - Take this! - Miserable rascal! 40 00:04:56,252 --> 00:05:00,190 Who do you think you are with that old wreck? You think you own the road? 41 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:40,054 How many times do I have to tell you that I must, I should... 42 00:05:40,471 --> 00:05:44,846 go home because I just finished work...iiiiing? 43 00:05:55,752 --> 00:06:00,950 ITAL-PETROL-CEMENT-THERMO-TEXIL- PHARMA-METAL-CHEMICALS 44 00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:38,492 For you, accountant. It's very urgent! 45 00:06:38,721 --> 00:06:41,627 Surveyor, are you ready? F-7. 46 00:06:42,075 --> 00:06:43,940 Damn! Hit at the first go! 47 00:06:44,033 --> 00:06:46,523 - You hit a cruiser. - Good! 48 00:06:47,398 --> 00:06:50,710 - Today I would begin with 27. - Very well, and you? 49 00:06:50,742 --> 00:06:53,033 The series from 5 to 8 for 100,000 Liras. 50 00:06:53,117 --> 00:06:54,075 Let's proceed. 51 00:06:59,575 --> 00:07:02,710 In order to choose the employee who would follow 52 00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:08,356 the Almighty Sensational Director Sir Earl-Duke Pier Carlo Semenzara... 53 00:07:08,523 --> 00:07:13,575 to gamble at Monte Carlo, a terrible draw was arranged in the canteen. 54 00:07:13,627 --> 00:07:17,148 Even the Internal Committee was involved in this. 55 00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:23,617 The ceremony organizer was accountant Filini, from the Accidents Department. 56 00:07:24,908 --> 00:07:26,315 Attention! 57 00:07:33,835 --> 00:07:36,273 - Let's proceed. - Yes, Your Excellency. 58 00:07:36,346 --> 00:07:37,523 Miss Silvani! 59 00:07:38,919 --> 00:07:39,669 Beg your pardon! 60 00:07:39,888 --> 00:07:42,065 Mrs. Silvani-Calboni! 61 00:07:42,408 --> 00:07:43,971 - Me? - Yes. 62 00:07:44,013 --> 00:07:48,169 The person choosen to draw the name of the elect was Mrs. Calboni... 63 00:07:48,169 --> 00:07:50,096 former Miss Silvani. 64 00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:52,783 and former Fantozzi's unfortunate true love. 65 00:07:52,971 --> 00:07:58,065 whom since her marriage he hadn't dared touching even in his dreams. 66 00:07:58,096 --> 00:08:01,138 - Excuse me if I have my back to you. - I must blindfold you. 67 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,783 - Pardon. - Easy. 68 00:08:05,533 --> 00:08:07,158 - Can you see? - No! 69 00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:12,388 It was a truly monstrous occasion... 70 00:08:12,398 --> 00:08:15,856 Three days in Monte Carlo to watch Semenzara gamble. 71 00:08:16,325 --> 00:08:19,606 and if the escort was suspected of bringing good luck... 72 00:08:19,710 --> 00:08:21,783 he would have been sorted for life! 73 00:08:25,627 --> 00:08:27,283 Sweet Heart of Jesus, source of love and mercy... 74 00:08:27,388 --> 00:08:30,440 Kyrie Eleison, Christi Eleision... 75 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,763 Virgin Mary of the Snow, Saint... 76 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,190 Silence! 77 00:08:34,898 --> 00:08:35,971 Who's praying? 78 00:08:40,617 --> 00:08:41,502 Thank you. 79 00:08:55,606 --> 00:08:59,471 ID 7829/bis. 80 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:09,596 Fantozzi was mistakenly declared dead for over 4 hours! 81 00:09:10,221 --> 00:09:14,002 - Congratulation accountant Fantozzi! - Well done "pumpkin"! 82 00:09:14,002 --> 00:09:15,940 Three cheers for accountant Fantozzi! 83 00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:19,981 Hip, hip, hip, hurray! Hip, hip, hip, hurray! 84 00:09:22,304 --> 00:09:23,731 Congratulations! 85 00:09:23,846 --> 00:09:26,888 Thank you! Thank you! Drinks are on me. 86 00:09:26,888 --> 00:09:28,450 At least thank me. 87 00:09:28,783 --> 00:09:29,502 For what? 88 00:09:30,346 --> 00:09:33,356 It's all thanks to my lady, Silvani-Calboni. 89 00:09:33,429 --> 00:09:36,367 Let's say that I've been your lucky charm, Fantozzi. 90 00:09:36,908 --> 00:09:40,169 Let me repay you. A drink? 91 00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:45,138 No, thank you. In return, do me a favour. Come, come. 92 00:09:45,513 --> 00:09:46,742 Yes, where? 93 00:09:48,013 --> 00:09:49,888 Lucky bastard! Makes me sick! 94 00:09:49,919 --> 00:09:52,106 - He has been kissed by Fortune. - I hate him! 95 00:09:52,981 --> 00:09:55,856 Here! 96 00:09:56,065 --> 00:09:57,804 Do you want me to change it? 97 00:09:58,252 --> 00:10:01,877 No, Fantozzi. Play Roulette... 98 00:10:03,023 --> 00:10:03,981 ...for me. 99 00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:08,575 Yes but, is your husband OK with that? I mean, does he know? 100 00:10:08,669 --> 00:10:11,523 We are a modern couple. Open-minded. 101 00:10:13,002 --> 00:10:14,429 Bet it on number 27, Fantozzi. 102 00:10:15,127 --> 00:10:16,523 Yes. 103 00:10:16,585 --> 00:10:18,179 When you feel inspired. 104 00:10:19,148 --> 00:10:23,523 27, just like my age. 105 00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:31,429 To think that I would have played number 14 at the most, or even 4. 106 00:10:32,773 --> 00:10:34,429 Goodbye Pina! Goodbye Mariangela! 107 00:10:34,596 --> 00:10:36,981 Here's the trai... trai... train. 108 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:44,627 I must admit we are quite early. 109 00:10:44,794 --> 00:10:47,950 The train for Montecarlo was scheduled at 11:37 PM. 110 00:10:48,325 --> 00:10:51,783 Fantozzi showed up on the platfom at 4:12 PM. 111 00:10:52,033 --> 00:10:53,523 7 hours earlier! 112 00:10:53,544 --> 00:10:55,544 Mrs. Pina and Mariangela were there... 113 00:10:55,950 --> 00:10:58,273 to witness his triumphant departure. 114 00:11:01,429 --> 00:11:03,617 THERE HE IS! The Earl-Duke. 115 00:11:04,721 --> 00:11:06,513 Good evening, Sir! 116 00:11:06,596 --> 00:11:09,617 Make room! Clear the way for the Earl-Duke. 117 00:11:11,002 --> 00:11:12,825 Clear the way for Earl-Duke Semenzara! 118 00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:17,648 Sir Earl-Duke, allow me the honor to present you... 119 00:11:18,856 --> 00:11:22,242 Who are those two jinxes? Who do you want present me? 120 00:11:22,773 --> 00:11:28,992 Nobody! I want to present my humble apologies if I accidentally touched your elbow. 121 00:11:29,335 --> 00:11:31,263 So you have no relation with those two things? 122 00:11:31,856 --> 00:11:34,825 Absolutely not! Never seen them in my life! 123 00:11:35,356 --> 00:11:37,492 - Don't look at them! - I won't! 124 00:11:37,492 --> 00:11:39,398 - Touch balls for luck. - I will! 125 00:11:41,096 --> 00:11:42,846 I hope they are not on our train. 126 00:11:43,054 --> 00:11:44,523 No, I don't think so. 127 00:11:49,252 --> 00:11:51,731 I think they are leaving. Yes, they are. 128 00:11:52,513 --> 00:11:54,075 They are leaving. 129 00:11:56,002 --> 00:11:58,117 That's it, they're gone. 130 00:11:58,742 --> 00:12:01,096 - Thank goodness! - Indeed, indeed! 131 00:12:01,992 --> 00:12:04,606 Excuse me, I get my... 132 00:12:05,523 --> 00:12:09,283 They even had a purple suitcase, the colour of bad luck! 133 00:12:10,554 --> 00:12:12,835 By the way, don't you have any luggage? 134 00:12:13,523 --> 00:12:15,867 No! No, I don't. 135 00:12:16,856 --> 00:12:18,106 Not even a small suitcase? 136 00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:21,804 I had a nice big suitcase, full of stuff... 137 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,356 but I don't bring it to stations... 138 00:12:25,106 --> 00:12:26,315 too many thieves around. 139 00:12:26,898 --> 00:12:30,919 But I'm wearing everything: 5 shirts, 12 pairs of pants... 140 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,117 and 16 pairs of socks. 141 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,481 Very well. Here comes the train. 142 00:12:34,658 --> 00:12:36,200 Please let me, Earl-Duke! 143 00:12:37,908 --> 00:12:39,481 Halt! Just a moment! 144 00:12:40,773 --> 00:12:43,971 - What is this about? - He's mine, keep your hands off! 145 00:12:45,013 --> 00:12:46,367 The Earl-Duke is mine! 146 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:48,898 I'll take the seats! 147 00:12:49,929 --> 00:12:52,450 Taken, taken, taken, taken, taken, taken! 148 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,179 It's all taken! The whole car! 149 00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:59,023 Young man, have you ever been on a sleeping car before? 150 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,575 No, sorry... I admit it. 151 00:13:06,075 --> 00:13:08,398 I have reserved room 18. 152 00:13:08,929 --> 00:13:09,919 18?! 153 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:12,575 Sir Earl... 154 00:13:13,065 --> 00:13:15,440 Come, Earl-Duke. Room 18. 155 00:13:15,710 --> 00:13:17,408 Come, come! At your disposal. 156 00:13:18,085 --> 00:13:19,190 A little shine here. 157 00:13:19,606 --> 00:13:21,210 What the heck are you doing? 158 00:13:21,783 --> 00:13:24,460 Here I think we have... 159 00:13:24,533 --> 00:13:25,825 ... the bidét. 160 00:13:26,481 --> 00:13:27,242 What? 161 00:13:27,335 --> 00:13:28,377 What is this then? 162 00:13:32,315 --> 00:13:33,981 - Did you hurt yourself? - It's nothing, nothing... 163 00:13:34,044 --> 00:13:36,710 I only lost the use of the first two phalanxes 164 00:13:36,898 --> 00:13:40,617 of the pinky and the ring-finger. Excuse me while I retrieve my hand. 165 00:13:42,804 --> 00:13:49,502 And here is your glass for drinking. 166 00:13:49,565 --> 00:13:50,908 - Bah! - No, what is it? 167 00:13:51,752 --> 00:13:55,408 No, of course! This is your noble chamber pot. 168 00:13:55,783 --> 00:13:57,752 May I undress you, Sir Earl-Duke? 169 00:13:58,013 --> 00:13:59,908 No, no, no! Go to your room. 170 00:13:59,981 --> 00:14:03,117 But I don't have a room. In order to avoid economical burden to the Company... 171 00:14:03,606 --> 00:14:06,929 I dared booking in 2nd Class since 3rd Class has been abolished. 172 00:14:07,377 --> 00:14:09,533 If regulation allows it, I could sleep... 173 00:14:09,565 --> 00:14:10,867 crouched here. 174 00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:12,658 It's not allowed, it's not allowed! 175 00:14:14,106 --> 00:14:15,981 Well, then if you allow me I'll retire to my car. 176 00:14:19,544 --> 00:14:23,033 Go to 2nd Class, I'm sure you'll find it very comfortable. 177 00:14:23,033 --> 00:14:23,658 Goodnight. 178 00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:34,190 Tickets please. Tickets. 179 00:14:40,544 --> 00:14:42,492 I hope you slept well, young man. 180 00:14:42,596 --> 00:14:45,335 I spent a sleepless night on that bloody train. 181 00:14:45,356 --> 00:14:48,533 - I was right on the wheels. - I slept very well. 182 00:14:48,575 --> 00:14:50,085 - Good evening! - Hi there! 183 00:14:50,450 --> 00:14:54,190 The Earl-Duke, like any other gambler... 184 00:14:54,231 --> 00:14:58,158 was a victim of superstition and odd rituals. 185 00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,940 Ah-Weh-Wee, good luck come to me. 186 00:15:01,002 --> 00:15:03,981 Wee-Weh-Weir, good luck cometh here. 187 00:15:04,054 --> 00:15:06,783 Ah-Weh-Wim, good luck is not with him. 188 00:15:10,304 --> 00:15:11,356 Sorry. 189 00:15:12,231 --> 00:15:13,450 Chips! 190 00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:21,533 Wait, I wasn't placing a bet. 191 00:15:24,794 --> 00:15:26,117 Here, Duke! Sir Earl-Duke. 192 00:15:27,815 --> 00:15:28,898 Sit down! 193 00:15:31,877 --> 00:15:35,835 Excuse me, Sir Earl-Duke, but there is no chair. 194 00:15:36,148 --> 00:15:38,138 - Sit down anyway! - Alright then. 195 00:15:39,596 --> 00:15:40,898 Here, done. 196 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,294 And touch my buttocks! 197 00:15:43,335 --> 00:15:45,606 Excuse me... but how? 198 00:15:45,763 --> 00:15:48,190 Put your hand under it. Come on! 199 00:16:15,085 --> 00:16:16,596 Nine! 200 00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:18,648 What happened? 201 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,117 My foot was under yours, Sir Earl-Duke. 202 00:16:21,294 --> 00:16:24,283 Put your foot back under mine. Don't interrupt the flow. 203 00:16:24,627 --> 00:16:26,533 Everything must remain the same. 204 00:16:26,981 --> 00:16:28,981 - And keep touching my buttocks. - Touching the... 205 00:16:28,981 --> 00:16:30,200 ...buttocks, yes. 206 00:16:31,231 --> 00:16:32,106 Un millón. 207 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,335 Eight! 208 00:16:47,356 --> 00:16:50,242 A horrible but short-lasting suffering... 209 00:16:50,356 --> 00:16:53,783 because within two rounds, Semenzara lost everything... 210 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,794 and went under for 48 lbs of chips. 211 00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:06,148 And you... stop touching my ARSE! 212 00:17:17,231 --> 00:17:22,075 Around 3 AM, the Earl-Duke got damn lucky... 213 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,450 banking big time. 214 00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:28,877 What are you doing there? 215 00:17:29,575 --> 00:17:32,273 Me? I dared drinking a sip of mineral water. 216 00:17:32,815 --> 00:17:35,283 Good, good! Keep on drinking! 217 00:17:35,419 --> 00:17:39,742 Valet, bring 25 more bottles of mineral water... 218 00:17:39,742 --> 00:17:40,783 ...of that brand. 219 00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:43,575 It was the infamous Bertier water. 220 00:17:43,648 --> 00:17:45,763 The most fizzy on Earth. 221 00:17:47,242 --> 00:17:48,533 Nine! 222 00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:51,658 Keep drinking! Keep drinking! 223 00:17:52,252 --> 00:17:53,106 Sorry. 224 00:18:04,065 --> 00:18:09,460 - What's your rank in the Company? - Me? 12th level, the lowest. 225 00:18:09,752 --> 00:18:11,429 You're promoted to 11th level. 226 00:18:11,877 --> 00:18:15,898 11th? Entitled to personal desk and imitation suede armchair! 227 00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:17,898 Yes, of course. But keep drinking! 228 00:18:19,742 --> 00:18:23,908 In the next 2 hours Fantozzi drank 4 crates of Bertier water... 229 00:18:24,148 --> 00:18:26,929 The equivalent of 4 cubic yards of compressed air. 230 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,658 Therefore he had to anchor himself like a weather balloon. 231 00:18:41,481 --> 00:18:42,992 No, no. Give me the chair. 232 00:18:44,117 --> 00:18:46,721 - Give me the chair! - Stay calm. 233 00:18:48,992 --> 00:18:51,231 It may fall and hurt somebody. 234 00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:54,273 The chair belongs to the Casino. You may go. 235 00:18:55,398 --> 00:18:57,440 On the other hand, during those 2 hours... 236 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:01,023 he climbed nearly to the top of the Company's org chart... 237 00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:02,940 even three steps at a time... 238 00:19:03,013 --> 00:19:04,346 Employee of 7th level: 239 00:19:04,492 --> 00:19:07,617 mahogany desk, imitation-suede armchair... 240 00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:10,492 telephone and ficus tree, the symbol of Power! 241 00:19:10,596 --> 00:19:14,627 Employee of 5th level: opaline desk lamp, glass top... 242 00:19:14,627 --> 00:19:18,117 Yugoslavian naïve art on the wall, two ficus plants. 243 00:19:18,315 --> 00:19:19,648 Employee of 1st level: 244 00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:23,346 four ficus plants, three telephones, dictaphone... 245 00:19:23,346 --> 00:19:26,502 six naïve paintings, rug over floor carpeting. 246 00:19:26,523 --> 00:19:29,252 He was on the threshold of presidency... 247 00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:31,929 meaning: private ficus greenhouse... 248 00:19:32,315 --> 00:19:34,231 and human leather armchair... 249 00:19:34,596 --> 00:19:38,846 when luck turned its back on Semenzara. 250 00:20:02,263 --> 00:20:04,440 You ruined me, jinx! 251 00:20:04,617 --> 00:20:06,033 Go away! Get lost... 252 00:20:06,523 --> 00:20:10,429 ...before I sack you! Nothing but a jinx! 253 00:20:36,731 --> 00:20:39,690 Hey, hey, hey! Put down the ash tray! 254 00:20:39,731 --> 00:20:42,658 It belongs to the Casino! Where are you going? Bring it back! 255 00:21:09,242 --> 00:21:10,388 Pardon me! 256 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,356 "Bet it on number 27 when you feel inspired" 257 00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:25,367 "27, just like my age". 258 00:21:26,606 --> 00:21:30,096 "Daddy, will you bring me back a gift?". 259 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:37,856 Excuse me, I put it here! 20,000 Liras on number 27. 260 00:21:57,325 --> 00:21:59,294 27, red and even (in French) 261 00:21:59,294 --> 00:22:01,283 Here! 262 00:22:02,335 --> 00:22:04,471 - Excuse me! - Whose money is this? (in French) 263 00:22:04,888 --> 00:22:06,200 It's mine! (in French) 264 00:22:08,783 --> 00:22:14,554 Yes, of course. Oui, it's Earl-Duke's money. 265 00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:19,294 I would never dare playing sir, let alone win. 266 00:22:21,221 --> 00:22:24,627 Excuse me, how much would the winning be? 267 00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:26,950 - 700,000 Liras. - Ah, nice! 268 00:22:29,908 --> 00:22:31,888 With that dirty money 269 00:22:31,888 --> 00:22:35,013 Semenzara paid the Grand Hotel suite... 270 00:22:35,221 --> 00:22:39,544 some extras, two whores and the return trip. 271 00:22:40,377 --> 00:22:43,825 Fantozzi instead had to find other ways. 272 00:22:52,377 --> 00:22:54,554 Poor Ugo, what happened to you? 273 00:22:54,877 --> 00:22:56,627 You are all frozen. 274 00:22:59,283 --> 00:23:00,867 You can't even speak. 275 00:23:02,242 --> 00:23:05,502 I'll fix you up with old remedies... 276 00:23:05,783 --> 00:23:07,606 like flax seed soups. 277 00:23:08,533 --> 00:23:11,106 - Are you happy? - (No, no!) - Hold on, I'll be right back... 278 00:23:17,544 --> 00:23:19,408 Here it is, just mildly warm! 279 00:23:19,502 --> 00:23:22,283 I'll get you an even warmer one soon. 280 00:23:24,460 --> 00:23:28,627 At that temperature, Fantozzi always had mystical raptures. 281 00:23:45,669 --> 00:23:52,002 This time Archangel Gabriel appeared to him announcing the forthcoming pregnancy. 282 00:24:13,971 --> 00:24:15,783 Hunting season opening! 283 00:24:16,606 --> 00:24:19,335 This year, overwhelmed by the relentless Filini who was... 284 00:24:19,429 --> 00:24:21,710 always frantically pushing for new tragic initiatives... 285 00:24:21,815 --> 00:24:24,304 even Fantozzi decided to join in. 286 00:24:24,742 --> 00:24:26,742 Filini's outfit: 287 00:24:26,752 --> 00:24:30,054 Sherlock Holmes cap with Robin Hood-style feather... 288 00:24:30,575 --> 00:24:35,856 his rich auntie's Argentinian poncho, tennis shoes with galoshes... 289 00:24:35,919 --> 00:24:37,346 topographic maps... 290 00:24:37,346 --> 00:24:39,815 and Calabrian bandit blunderbuss. 291 00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:41,096 Fantozzi's: 292 00:24:41,158 --> 00:24:44,252 white beach hat belonging to his daughter Mariangela... 293 00:24:44,669 --> 00:24:47,731 Pitiful ordinary jacket, fastened on the hips... 294 00:24:47,731 --> 00:24:51,950 by a massive machine gun cartridge belt, a WW2 surplus. 295 00:24:51,950 --> 00:24:55,773 A sling, viper's poison antidote around his neck... 296 00:24:55,773 --> 00:24:59,835 a bird cage containing a decoy canary and a retreiver stray cat... 297 00:24:59,835 --> 00:25:02,523 which unfortunately had escaped during departure operations. 298 00:25:03,763 --> 00:25:05,888 How wonderful! 299 00:25:06,408 --> 00:25:08,679 This is Heaven on Earth! 300 00:25:08,804 --> 00:25:12,252 Take deep breaths! What a pity though. 301 00:25:12,283 --> 00:25:13,054 What is? 302 00:25:13,117 --> 00:25:15,325 A pity you didn't bring your Barbary ape along. 303 00:25:15,502 --> 00:25:18,013 - Barbary? - I meant Barbara, your baboon... 304 00:25:18,950 --> 00:25:20,648 ahem... I mean, your baby. 305 00:25:20,794 --> 00:25:23,919 - Ah, my daughter, Mariangela! - Yes, of course. 306 00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:26,929 Imagine how much fun for her jumping between trees. 307 00:25:26,929 --> 00:25:29,492 - Jumping between trees? - I meant, between meadows! 308 00:25:29,492 --> 00:25:31,544 We're really away from everything, where are we? 309 00:25:31,544 --> 00:25:33,929 We are exactly here, you see? 310 00:25:34,138 --> 00:25:36,888 - Ahem, I can't see... - You see it? Here. 311 00:25:37,294 --> 00:25:41,544 I can't see, the feather is perforating my cornea. 312 00:25:41,544 --> 00:25:43,867 Look, here's that hill I told you about. 313 00:25:43,867 --> 00:25:47,429 Practically no man has ever set foot on it. 314 00:25:47,429 --> 00:25:50,054 A spot that NO-BO-DY knows! 315 00:25:51,179 --> 00:25:56,398 620 hunters in 150 square feet! 316 00:26:23,679 --> 00:26:26,242 My catch! Mine! I've seen it first. 317 00:26:26,273 --> 00:26:28,804 Mine! Whatever it is, it's mine! 318 00:26:29,158 --> 00:26:32,617 It was Sir Margheriti from the Council Housing Institute. 319 00:26:32,992 --> 00:26:36,377 Former Pipit whistle-calling regional champion. 320 00:26:36,544 --> 00:26:38,002 It's mine I said, leave it! 321 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:45,773 Six minutes later, Engineer Carletti... 322 00:26:45,783 --> 00:26:49,242 also known as "Harelip" due to a congenital deformity of his upper lip... 323 00:26:49,690 --> 00:26:53,919 realized that he was being insistently watched. 324 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:07,179 You're not human... you're a hyena! 325 00:27:08,408 --> 00:27:10,825 A hyena? Yeah, a hyena indeed... 326 00:27:11,763 --> 00:27:13,502 and a beautiful specimen too! 327 00:27:26,929 --> 00:27:30,669 Let's not get confused. We'll split up in two groups. 328 00:27:30,794 --> 00:27:33,638 Let's see... married men upstream and bachelors downstream. 329 00:27:34,023 --> 00:27:36,065 Yeah Let's go! 330 00:27:39,315 --> 00:27:40,502 Any photographers around? 331 00:27:53,481 --> 00:27:54,752 Keep your hands off! 332 00:27:55,273 --> 00:27:57,148 Excuse me but the rifle is mine, you have your sling! 333 00:27:57,783 --> 00:27:58,794 Don't you have your sling? 334 00:27:59,002 --> 00:28:02,450 Excuse me but we're the only ones who haven't shot once yet. 335 00:28:02,940 --> 00:28:04,523 What seems to be the problem? 336 00:28:04,867 --> 00:28:05,783 What's the problem? 337 00:28:06,002 --> 00:28:06,721 Good morning, sir. 338 00:28:06,763 --> 00:28:09,908 I haven't... He hasn't... We haven't shot anything yet. 339 00:28:10,325 --> 00:28:11,158 Let me see... 340 00:28:11,221 --> 00:28:12,325 - Are you expert at this? - A little. 341 00:28:12,429 --> 00:28:16,054 - Can you see what's wrong with it? - Well, obviously! It's completely unloaded! 342 00:28:20,044 --> 00:28:24,658 Excuse me accountant, have you brushed against the trigger by any chance? 343 00:28:24,908 --> 00:28:25,763 I don't recall... 344 00:28:26,294 --> 00:28:29,117 Do you mind if I leave this here and I take yours? 345 00:28:31,606 --> 00:28:33,273 Well then, have a nice day and happy hunting! 346 00:28:34,106 --> 00:28:36,273 See you. Take care! 347 00:28:36,971 --> 00:28:41,054 The wealthy ones made use of armoured vehicles and tanks along with orderlies. 348 00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:44,554 Great shot, Marquis! 349 00:28:50,877 --> 00:28:54,138 A megalomaniac even hired a bomber aircraft! 350 00:29:07,263 --> 00:29:11,856 For a perfect sling shot: take the aim... 351 00:29:11,856 --> 00:29:15,794 placing your target at the center of the fork... 352 00:29:15,794 --> 00:29:19,669 stretch the extensor up to ear level... 353 00:29:19,679 --> 00:29:21,731 and then LET G-! 354 00:29:32,263 --> 00:29:36,835 The have-nots fought back with the not-less-effective guerrilla tactics. 355 00:29:46,971 --> 00:29:49,627 Help! Help me, please! 356 00:29:59,856 --> 00:30:03,835 I bagged a nice gun myself. See? 357 00:30:04,242 --> 00:30:05,554 How marvellous! 358 00:30:06,179 --> 00:30:10,617 No more sling now. I can shoot too! 359 00:30:14,950 --> 00:30:16,700 Accountant, are you feeling alright? 360 00:30:17,669 --> 00:30:21,179 Absolutely... It's only... a little... 361 00:30:21,773 --> 00:30:24,127 I need a urologist, quick! 362 00:30:29,075 --> 00:30:33,835 Look, in exchange for two left earlobes I may offer you the right index finger... 363 00:30:34,690 --> 00:30:36,502 - from a lawyer. - Nail included? 364 00:30:36,575 --> 00:30:40,617 - Yes, it's complete. Look how nice it is. - Morning... 365 00:30:41,690 --> 00:30:43,388 - Excuse me, have you got a light? - Morning sir. 366 00:30:43,533 --> 00:30:45,252 Morning, how are you doing? 367 00:30:45,763 --> 00:30:48,242 So and so, I have like a heartburn. 368 00:30:50,971 --> 00:30:53,763 - Must be stress-related. - Must be. 369 00:30:55,263 --> 00:30:58,117 Sometimes the stress... 370 00:30:58,773 --> 00:31:01,440 By the way, accountant, where is your gun? 371 00:31:01,554 --> 00:31:03,669 My gun? I always keep it h---! 372 00:31:06,158 --> 00:31:08,273 Come on, come on! Be a man! 373 00:31:24,325 --> 00:31:26,117 Come on accountant, throw one too! 374 00:31:30,648 --> 00:31:33,554 The bomb is in his sleeve! Bomb in the sleeve! Run! 375 00:31:48,627 --> 00:31:50,523 Let's go! 376 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,242 Accountant, have you found it? 377 00:31:54,575 --> 00:31:56,544 How do you feel? 378 00:31:57,294 --> 00:31:58,377 - Great. - Good! 379 00:32:09,085 --> 00:32:11,138 Hostilities ceased at dusk. 380 00:32:11,752 --> 00:32:15,888 Everyone returned home with their quarries and trophies... 381 00:32:15,888 --> 00:32:19,065 just in time to watch the football results. 382 00:32:19,783 --> 00:32:22,273 Next sunday we'll kick their arses. 383 00:32:22,523 --> 00:32:26,440 We can't. We have that company trip to Genova for the launch of their new boat. 384 00:32:26,835 --> 00:32:29,596 - You can't miss it! - But I have a commitment with my brother-in-law... 385 00:32:29,898 --> 00:32:33,388 I already enlisted you. Speaking of which... you owe me 5,000 Liras. 386 00:32:52,596 --> 00:32:57,075 The godmother of the christening was Countess Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare... 387 00:32:57,669 --> 00:32:59,627 great shareholder of the Company. 388 00:33:04,596 --> 00:33:06,242 Hurray! Hurray! 389 00:33:07,033 --> 00:33:09,513 - Hurray! - Hurray! 390 00:33:21,325 --> 00:33:23,273 Here Countess. It's your moment. 391 00:33:25,710 --> 00:33:29,533 From 35 yards she goes, Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare! 392 00:33:35,825 --> 00:33:38,210 Master of Ceremonies, may I launch? 393 00:33:38,794 --> 00:33:40,273 Launch, Countess, launch! 394 00:33:53,950 --> 00:33:55,554 - Here Countess. - Another bottle? 395 00:33:55,710 --> 00:33:56,773 Yes, please! 396 00:33:58,731 --> 00:34:02,971 From 50 yards she goes again, Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare! 397 00:34:06,502 --> 00:34:09,919 Master of Ceremonies, may I retry? 398 00:34:10,033 --> 00:34:12,408 Retry, Countess! But more to the center. 399 00:34:22,388 --> 00:34:27,606 Fantozzi this time awaited the end of the ceremony in the water. 400 00:34:31,096 --> 00:34:34,960 Master of Ceremonies, may I re-retry? 401 00:34:35,106 --> 00:34:38,752 Re-retry, Countess! But a bit more to the right! 402 00:34:40,377 --> 00:34:42,315 He was followed in the water by: 403 00:34:42,554 --> 00:34:44,075 Mayor with tricolor sash... 404 00:34:45,763 --> 00:34:47,273 Merchant Navy Minister... 405 00:34:49,710 --> 00:34:54,127 102 years-old Baroness Filiguelli de Bonchamp, the Company's mascot. 406 00:34:54,127 --> 00:34:59,013 All other authorities were covertly launched later. 407 00:35:02,273 --> 00:35:06,981 When all the Champagne had run out, it was decided that the ritual would be changed: 408 00:35:09,460 --> 00:35:15,085 A metal wire would be cut, automatically starting the launch. 409 00:35:15,273 --> 00:35:20,283 From 83 yards she goes once again, Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare! 410 00:35:21,210 --> 00:35:22,825 Go Countess, go! 411 00:35:23,877 --> 00:35:27,731 I cut... in the name of God! 412 00:35:28,950 --> 00:35:32,106 Archbishop's pinky with pastoral ring! 413 00:35:32,544 --> 00:35:35,054 Damn that whore of the Virgin M... 414 00:35:44,002 --> 00:35:50,856 The ship was launched in late afternoon when the Cardinal's murderous frenzy had eased. 415 00:35:53,117 --> 00:35:57,679 At night, the celebration continued with a great party at the... 416 00:35:57,679 --> 00:36:00,367 Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare's mansion. 417 00:36:00,575 --> 00:36:03,710 Aside from the usual Princes and other Mighties... 418 00:36:03,710 --> 00:36:06,367 the invitation was extended to all the employees... 419 00:36:06,367 --> 00:36:11,096 even to the most humble ones, in light of the upcoming Union contracts. 420 00:36:11,679 --> 00:36:15,398 It's a Brandebourg Dane. Look, Archduchess. 421 00:36:15,481 --> 00:36:17,960 It scares me a bit though. 422 00:36:20,794 --> 00:36:25,981 Fantozzi and Filini showed up with two terrible rented tailcoats. 423 00:36:26,085 --> 00:36:31,054 Filini looked like an amputee. Fantozzi was basically in Bermuda shorts! 424 00:36:35,252 --> 00:36:37,148 What's there? A calf? 425 00:36:37,252 --> 00:36:39,200 No, no, no! It's a horse! 426 00:36:39,825 --> 00:36:42,794 - It would be a... pooch. - A pooch? 427 00:36:43,002 --> 00:36:45,679 A little on the big side maybe. A 2-tons pooch. 428 00:36:47,585 --> 00:36:51,877 - It's staring at us. It looks very humane though. - Really? 429 00:36:52,117 --> 00:36:53,346 You see? It's purring. 430 00:36:54,783 --> 00:36:55,929 Excuse me. 431 00:36:56,783 --> 00:36:59,700 Excuse me Doc, we have valid invitations. 432 00:36:59,742 --> 00:37:03,085 If you would gently move the paw, we may join the party. 433 00:37:15,471 --> 00:37:18,627 Where are Filini and Fantozzi? I haven't seen them. 434 00:37:18,940 --> 00:37:20,554 Maybe they weren't invited. 435 00:37:20,658 --> 00:37:23,023 Impossible! Everyone has been invited! 436 00:37:23,023 --> 00:37:27,648 Even the delivery boys! Even the pen-pushers, everyone! 437 00:37:27,648 --> 00:37:29,273 - Very well, very well. - Why, is anyone missing? 438 00:37:29,283 --> 00:37:34,002 Only two boors, Mrs. Countess. They think it's chic to be late. 439 00:37:34,106 --> 00:37:37,127 - Don't worry about them Mrs. Countess. - Oh, I do worry very much... 440 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:40,783 I'm worried sick about two dear employees that are still missing. 441 00:37:41,398 --> 00:37:43,190 - Help! - Help, please! 442 00:37:44,033 --> 00:37:47,752 - Help! - Countess, help! 443 00:37:49,283 --> 00:37:50,929 Watch it, be careful! 444 00:37:51,325 --> 00:37:53,210 It was humane, you said! 445 00:37:53,648 --> 00:37:55,492 It was purring, you said! 446 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:58,304 I admit I was wrong. 447 00:37:58,450 --> 00:37:59,398 Stay, Fido! 448 00:38:00,138 --> 00:38:01,648 Try with Foofy! 449 00:38:01,950 --> 00:38:03,002 Stay, Foofy! 450 00:38:03,742 --> 00:38:04,867 Try with Boby! 451 00:38:04,867 --> 00:38:05,856 Stay, Boby! 452 00:38:07,856 --> 00:38:08,471 Friedman! 453 00:38:08,679 --> 00:38:12,335 -Friedman is not a dog's name! -What the hell could it be then? 454 00:38:12,544 --> 00:38:15,846 His name was "Ivan the Terrible XXXII" 455 00:38:15,950 --> 00:38:18,627 Discendant of "Ivan the Terrible I"... 456 00:38:18,627 --> 00:38:20,565 that belonged to Tsar Nicholas. 457 00:38:20,679 --> 00:38:23,596 Legendary paesant-hunting champion... 458 00:38:23,596 --> 00:38:29,085 executed as enemy of the people in the Red Square during the October Revolution. 459 00:38:29,283 --> 00:38:31,721 Here we come! We are here to help. Slowly, careful now... 460 00:38:31,721 --> 00:38:34,627 - Don't fret, dear. - Here we are! 461 00:38:36,210 --> 00:38:39,138 - No, I'll take the ladder. - Don't overstrain yourself, please. 462 00:38:42,929 --> 00:38:44,658 I'm sorry, employee! 463 00:38:46,763 --> 00:38:49,065 So sorry, employee! Did I hurt you? 464 00:38:49,565 --> 00:38:53,377 It's nothing! Only a compound fracture of the skull. 465 00:38:54,325 --> 00:38:57,117 To apologize for for the unfortunate accident... 466 00:38:57,325 --> 00:39:00,565 the Counts Serbelloni, with a clever move... 467 00:39:00,669 --> 00:39:04,013 invited Fantozzi and Filini to the table of honor. 468 00:39:04,117 --> 00:39:05,648 - Take it there. - Employee! 469 00:39:05,971 --> 00:39:07,554 - It's Fantozzi. - Employee! 470 00:39:08,075 --> 00:39:11,606 Let me introduce you to some of our friends: 471 00:39:12,544 --> 00:39:16,127 Excellency, His Eminence De Vetanza. 472 00:39:16,658 --> 00:39:19,513 - Dona Miniaz De Coral. - Sorry... 473 00:39:19,617 --> 00:39:21,429 my hands are a little sweaty. 474 00:39:21,429 --> 00:39:25,325 Air Force General Ernesto Maria Lampioni. 475 00:39:26,408 --> 00:39:29,013 The young Marquise Giava delle Corte. 476 00:39:31,731 --> 00:39:34,554 You know the rules, Fantozzi! 477 00:39:34,575 --> 00:39:38,273 You know how to behave in high society, right? 478 00:39:38,315 --> 00:39:40,763 What to do, what not to do. 479 00:39:41,273 --> 00:39:44,294 - Yes, yes! - We'll see, we'll see! 480 00:39:44,294 --> 00:39:47,617 What do you mean "we'll see"? It's just that I had sweaty hands. Sorry. 481 00:40:03,752 --> 00:40:05,815 - Your shoes. - Thanks, it must be delicious... 482 00:40:09,096 --> 00:40:12,429 The cocker took them before. The pooch, you know? 483 00:40:40,835 --> 00:40:45,377 Employee! Do you know our German Ambassador... 484 00:40:46,242 --> 00:40:50,315 Count Otto Von Uber Steiber? 485 00:40:50,617 --> 00:40:52,252 Heil, Hitler! Sorry! 486 00:40:52,481 --> 00:40:54,200 You may call me just Otto. 487 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:55,252 Please, at least Nine! 488 00:40:55,877 --> 00:40:57,856 - Ten! - Eleven! - Twelve! 489 00:40:58,065 --> 00:40:59,731 Fantozzi got the better of it. 490 00:40:59,835 --> 00:41:01,002 Thirty "cum laude"! There! 491 00:41:08,471 --> 00:41:11,919 How tasty! Delicious! 492 00:41:17,377 --> 00:41:23,627 The glasses! A row of 5 on the right. 5 more on the left. 493 00:41:23,940 --> 00:41:25,731 Which one to drink from? 494 00:41:25,940 --> 00:41:27,325 Aren't you thirsty, employee? 495 00:41:27,533 --> 00:41:30,419 I'm slightly short on saliva. 496 00:41:30,419 --> 00:41:31,440 Then drink! 497 00:41:39,315 --> 00:41:40,190 What are you doing? 498 00:41:41,596 --> 00:41:43,513 I'm reading... I'm reading my palm... 499 00:41:43,825 --> 00:41:46,888 See? The line of fate is a little... 500 00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:56,575 What day is today? 501 00:41:56,783 --> 00:42:00,867 - Sunday! - Sunday! - You said it at the same time! 502 00:42:00,898 --> 00:42:02,981 Jinx! Let's link the pinkies! 503 00:42:04,335 --> 00:42:07,325 The middle fingers then... the ring fingers perhaps? 504 00:42:13,033 --> 00:42:16,877 THRUSH! The most difficult thing in nature! 505 00:42:53,783 --> 00:42:54,940 Cheers! 506 00:43:11,044 --> 00:43:13,867 - Have you finished it already? - Indeed! I devoured it. 507 00:43:21,283 --> 00:43:22,606 How am I doing? 508 00:43:22,648 --> 00:43:24,075 Bad, goddammit! 509 00:43:36,679 --> 00:43:40,544 At last, a drastic decision: Thrush... whole! 510 00:43:54,502 --> 00:43:56,106 (How tasty!) 511 00:44:01,013 --> 00:44:06,440 Fantozzi's colours: red. Pompeian red. Lobster-orange. 512 00:44:07,065 --> 00:44:11,565 Violet. Funeral ornament-violet. Gloomy blue! 513 00:44:12,221 --> 00:44:16,138 At gloomy blue Fantozzi fell in a comatose state. 514 00:44:20,648 --> 00:44:23,867 Baked rice with tomatoe garnish. 515 00:44:24,179 --> 00:44:27,492 The tomatoes have this tragic peculiarity: 516 00:44:27,804 --> 00:44:33,085 Cold on the outside. 18,000°F fireball on the inside! 517 00:44:33,273 --> 00:44:36,513 This... I wolf it down! 518 00:44:46,367 --> 00:44:47,981 You won't spit it here, will you? 519 00:44:48,304 --> 00:44:49,513 No, no. 520 00:44:53,158 --> 00:44:57,367 You won't spit it here, will you? You wouldn't dare, would you Fantozzi? Go out! 521 00:45:01,815 --> 00:45:03,981 Fantozzi! Maybe he knows... 522 00:45:04,190 --> 00:45:06,929 what's the name of that dumb-faced delivery boy? 523 00:45:59,127 --> 00:46:00,200 Uh, a little tomato. 524 00:46:04,721 --> 00:46:05,929 - Fantozzi? - Yes? 525 00:46:05,992 --> 00:46:07,721 Open your mouth and close your eyes! 526 00:46:15,898 --> 00:46:18,794 - Fantozzi! - Fantozzi! 527 00:46:21,335 --> 00:46:24,825 He had fallen right in Ivan The Terrible's clutches... 528 00:46:25,148 --> 00:46:28,148 who, after dragging him in a corner of the garden... 529 00:46:28,158 --> 00:46:33,200 began to dig a pit of unsettling proportions: 4 feet by 6! 530 00:47:15,492 --> 00:47:16,565 Pass, will you? 531 00:47:20,835 --> 00:47:23,877 They weren't the beams of an overtaking car. 532 00:47:37,471 --> 00:47:40,033 The beast besieged him for a week... 533 00:47:40,346 --> 00:47:44,127 which was obviously counted as spent holidays. 534 00:47:45,992 --> 00:47:49,346 Ugo? Is it warm enough? 535 00:47:52,429 --> 00:47:55,658 An injustice that Fantozzi could not bear... 536 00:47:55,658 --> 00:47:57,888 so much so that for the very first time... 537 00:47:57,888 --> 00:48:00,638 he pretended to be ill and used the sick leave. 538 00:48:05,075 --> 00:48:06,075 The doctor! 539 00:48:11,148 --> 00:48:14,388 Wait, don't open! Don't open! 540 00:48:26,846 --> 00:48:30,252 It's not the doctor. It was Mr. Bonetti, our neighbour. 541 00:48:31,523 --> 00:48:33,148 What happened to the Virgin Mary? 542 00:48:36,231 --> 00:48:39,127 Our neighbour Bonetti? What the hell did Bonetti want... 543 00:48:39,127 --> 00:48:41,263 ...to give me a heart attack? 544 00:48:41,533 --> 00:48:44,888 No. He had to leave unexpectedly with all his family. 545 00:48:44,888 --> 00:48:47,721 Who gives a damn if he had to leave with all his family? 546 00:48:47,919 --> 00:48:51,877 He had three free tickets for the American Circus. 547 00:48:52,179 --> 00:48:54,742 Since he had to leave, he kindly gave them to us. 548 00:48:55,419 --> 00:48:56,419 Free tickets! 549 00:48:57,033 --> 00:48:59,065 He couldn't sleep all night. 550 00:48:59,377 --> 00:49:00,752 The risk was insane. 551 00:49:01,169 --> 00:49:05,648 If caught outside, the punishment was public flogging in the canteen, at the very least. 552 00:49:05,877 --> 00:49:10,513 But it was the first time in his life that Fantozzi had free tickets. 553 00:49:11,231 --> 00:49:13,179 - What is it? What's up? - I decided. 554 00:49:13,492 --> 00:49:14,460 - We're going. - Where? 555 00:49:14,460 --> 00:49:15,794 To the circus. 556 00:49:16,742 --> 00:49:18,492 - Cautiously... - Oh, Lord! 557 00:49:18,575 --> 00:49:19,398 but we will go. 558 00:49:34,627 --> 00:49:36,096 - Ugo, is that you? - Yes. 559 00:49:38,169 --> 00:49:39,210 - It's daddy! - Daddy! 560 00:49:39,523 --> 00:49:40,804 Put your scarf back on. 561 00:49:41,460 --> 00:49:43,210 Come on, let's go! 562 00:50:15,742 --> 00:50:18,804 The t-, the t-, the tickets! Oh my goodness! 563 00:50:20,242 --> 00:50:21,815 Here they are! Luckly. 564 00:50:22,106 --> 00:50:23,304 Come, Mariangela. 565 00:50:27,158 --> 00:50:31,815 And now ladies and gentlemen, our wise chimpanzees! 566 00:50:33,523 --> 00:50:35,033 Don't pull, honey. 567 00:50:35,356 --> 00:50:37,731 Daddy! I'm over here! 568 00:50:40,033 --> 00:50:46,992 Good morning, madam. See, the dress is identical... 569 00:50:47,002 --> 00:50:49,429 so there was a misunderstanding. Bye and have a nice day. 570 00:50:49,585 --> 00:50:51,544 "Come on, darling". 571 00:50:53,763 --> 00:50:55,627 Come, Cheeta... ahem, Mariangela. 572 00:51:00,002 --> 00:51:02,617 Did you see Pina, how cute that monkey was? 573 00:51:03,460 --> 00:51:07,054 You know Mariangela, monkeys are really superior animals. 574 00:51:07,054 --> 00:51:13,523 Excuse me... by any chance, is it you the one who was supposed to be sick? 575 00:51:13,763 --> 00:51:16,450 Me? You are mistaken. 576 00:51:17,283 --> 00:51:20,721 And now comes... 577 00:51:20,752 --> 00:51:23,346 the great Hungarian performer. 578 00:51:23,627 --> 00:51:26,023 - Take this krapfen! - What are you doing here? 579 00:51:27,075 --> 00:51:28,117 Take this! 580 00:51:39,950 --> 00:51:41,085 Go get him immediately! 581 00:51:43,054 --> 00:51:44,210 Go get him! 582 00:51:44,773 --> 00:51:46,867 Look at this clown! 583 00:51:47,544 --> 00:51:49,700 How about this? 584 00:51:50,846 --> 00:51:54,585 And now ladies and gentlemen, our "Wild Horse". 585 00:52:26,263 --> 00:52:28,554 The great performer says goodb-argh! 586 00:52:39,263 --> 00:52:42,106 I'm accountant Ugo Fantozzi, ID 7829/bis... 587 00:52:42,513 --> 00:52:47,075 Please understand my situation! Hold me tight! My hands are swea-ahhh! 588 00:52:52,117 --> 00:52:53,158 - Ugo! - Daddy! 589 00:52:54,013 --> 00:52:57,117 So it is you! Accountant Ugo Fantozzi! 590 00:52:57,575 --> 00:53:00,638 No, no! No! I insist! No! 591 00:53:01,315 --> 00:53:02,450 It's not me. 592 00:53:09,877 --> 00:53:13,596 And now ladies and gentlemen, The most sensational part of the show... 593 00:53:14,877 --> 00:53:18,096 Mr. Super Flight. The human projectile. 594 00:53:21,606 --> 00:53:23,023 Halt! Quiet everyone! 595 00:53:23,721 --> 00:53:26,002 Accountant Fantozzi! 596 00:53:26,544 --> 00:53:28,148 Come out! 597 00:53:30,002 --> 00:53:35,575 I know full well you're in there! Come out, I said! 598 00:53:37,554 --> 00:53:38,263 Is that so? 599 00:53:38,471 --> 00:53:39,565 I'll take care of it! 600 00:53:51,335 --> 00:53:55,190 He was found several days later in surroundings of Agrigento... 601 00:53:55,356 --> 00:53:57,242 by Archangel Saint Michael. 602 00:54:00,033 --> 00:54:04,138 The divine messenger reminded him that he was nine months pregnant... 603 00:54:04,210 --> 00:54:08,200 and recommended him to go immediately to the delivery room. 604 00:54:09,127 --> 00:54:12,502 Excuse me Doc, didn't we agree for Bethlehem? 605 00:54:14,169 --> 00:54:16,315 Well, if you say so... Alright then, nevermind. 606 00:54:25,054 --> 00:54:28,627 MATERNITY WARD 607 00:54:43,179 --> 00:54:47,054 BATTLESHIP KOTIOMKIN 608 00:54:51,606 --> 00:54:54,940 Many years ago, Fantozzi was hired in the Almighty Company... 609 00:54:55,127 --> 00:54:58,638 with the role of "stamping sponge". 610 00:55:03,617 --> 00:55:07,117 He succeded in the aptitude test... 611 00:55:07,294 --> 00:55:10,013 –thanks to a tip-off from a corrupted usher– 612 00:55:10,117 --> 00:55:15,169 by answering two weird questions from the President of the Board. 613 00:55:20,763 --> 00:55:22,846 Do you like German expressionist cinema? 614 00:55:24,356 --> 00:55:25,960 It's the greatest love of my life! 615 00:55:26,044 --> 00:55:29,210 I would like to remind the great masters: Murnau... 616 00:55:29,263 --> 00:55:30,502 and Robert Wiene... 617 00:55:30,710 --> 00:55:35,263 whom nobody could do without his masterpiece "Das cabinett... 618 00:55:35,263 --> 00:55:37,231 der Doktor Caligarisss". 619 00:55:38,023 --> 00:55:39,742 CA-LI-GA-RI! 620 00:55:41,627 --> 00:55:44,773 And who is David "Yourrrgryfth"? 621 00:55:47,690 --> 00:55:48,419 I didn't... 622 00:55:48,658 --> 00:55:51,033 - "Grifth"! - I didn't hear. 623 00:55:51,450 --> 00:55:56,106 - "Grfth"! - Griffith! The father of American cinema! 624 00:55:56,106 --> 00:55:59,127 I adore him, he's like a father to me. 625 00:55:59,304 --> 00:56:03,054 Very good, young man! You are hired! 626 00:56:06,460 --> 00:56:09,981 The powerful Professor Guidobaldo Maria Riccardelli... 627 00:56:09,981 --> 00:56:13,033 was a fanatic enthusiast of Art Cinema. 628 00:56:13,346 --> 00:56:17,533 Once a week he forced his employees and their families... 629 00:56:17,773 --> 00:56:20,721 to endure the Classics of cinema. 630 00:56:21,023 --> 00:56:24,283 In 20 years Fantozzi was made to watch over and over again: 631 00:56:24,283 --> 00:56:28,471 "Dies Irae" by Carl Theodor Dreyer, 6 hours! 632 00:56:28,585 --> 00:56:32,096 "Man of Aran" by Flaherty, 9 parts! 633 00:56:32,200 --> 00:56:35,085 But above all, the most classic of the classics... 634 00:56:35,085 --> 00:56:38,690 ..."Battleship Kotiomkin"! 18 reels... 635 00:56:38,919 --> 00:56:44,523 of which Professor Riccardelli, owned a rare private copy. 636 00:56:45,294 --> 00:56:47,283 Excuse me! What's on tonight? 637 00:56:47,294 --> 00:56:50,388 - "Battleship Kotiomkin"! - (...Again!) 638 00:56:51,835 --> 00:56:54,971 - Go! Go! - Very well. 639 00:56:55,283 --> 00:56:56,638 - "Battleship... Kotiomkin"! - Ughino, cheer up. 640 00:58:33,169 --> 00:58:35,023 Excuse me, let me pass! 641 00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:40,450 - Ugo, wake up! - Gotcha "Fantocci"! You are sleeping! 642 00:58:40,450 --> 00:58:43,992 No, Professor. It's a fainting fit! 643 00:58:43,992 --> 00:58:46,346 No, madam! He's sleeping like a turd! 644 00:58:46,835 --> 00:58:50,304 - Get up! - Is it 7:00 already? The alarm... 645 00:58:50,304 --> 00:58:52,856 - coffee, newspaper, the mail! - Ugo! 646 00:58:52,981 --> 00:58:55,221 Good morning, Professor. Is it over yet? 647 00:58:55,221 --> 00:58:57,804 - Nope, you would like that, wouldn't you, turd? - No, no, no. 648 00:58:57,804 --> 00:58:59,617 Still three parts to watch. 649 00:58:59,617 --> 00:59:01,440 Still three parts! Very good! 650 00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:03,221 And you'll watch them on your knees! 651 00:59:03,221 --> 00:59:05,013 On the knees is even better... 652 00:59:05,013 --> 00:59:10,950 - ...as you wish. - Not here. Come, follow me! 653 00:59:13,242 --> 00:59:16,992 He's a turd. That's the best way to describe him... a TURD! 654 00:59:18,856 --> 00:59:20,367 Here! On the chickpeas! 655 00:59:20,981 --> 00:59:23,315 Let's see if you fall asleep now. 656 00:59:23,513 --> 00:59:27,263 For 20 years Fantozzi had been publically humiliated... 657 00:59:27,356 --> 00:59:29,377 during and after the viewings... 658 00:59:29,606 --> 00:59:33,033 when Riccardelli opened the debate on the film. 659 00:59:34,106 --> 00:59:38,627 And now, as usual, I invite you to share your opinion. 660 00:59:39,221 --> 00:59:40,804 It's a great film! 661 00:59:41,679 --> 00:59:43,981 - Permission to speak! - Please. 662 00:59:44,054 --> 00:59:46,502 - It's a masterpiece! - The mother's eye! 663 00:59:46,502 --> 00:59:49,648 - ... the pram with the baby! - You, Filini? 664 00:59:49,804 --> 00:59:53,356 I go into raptures when I see the soldiers' boots! 665 00:59:53,356 --> 00:59:54,273 Yes? 666 00:59:54,388 --> 00:59:59,158 Tonight the "analogic" editing blew me away! 667 00:59:59,460 --> 01:00:02,721 And... and... the soldiers' boots, but above all the pram with the baby! 668 01:00:02,888 --> 01:00:05,335 Yes, of course. Yes? 669 01:00:05,481 --> 01:00:09,617 The pram with the poor baby falling down the stairs. 670 01:00:09,617 --> 01:00:12,325 Professor, couldn't we watch it again? 671 01:00:12,721 --> 01:00:14,888 I wish we could, my friend... but the time. 672 01:00:17,835 --> 01:00:21,367 And you, "Fantocci"! Do you only open your mouth to yawn? 673 01:00:21,783 --> 01:00:23,117 Have you got nothing to say? 674 01:00:23,148 --> 01:00:24,544 What do you have to say? 675 01:00:25,700 --> 01:00:29,950 My husband, accountant Fantozzi, is speechless. 676 01:00:30,283 --> 01:00:34,429 No Mrs. "Fantocci", your husband is a turd! 677 01:00:34,492 --> 01:00:36,263 Is he or is he not? 678 01:00:37,096 --> 01:00:38,356 Yes. 679 01:00:44,138 --> 01:00:48,502 On Saturday the 18th at 20:25, live from Wembley... 680 01:00:48,523 --> 01:00:51,804 the match England Vs. Italy, qualifying for the World Cup. 681 01:00:52,158 --> 01:00:55,013 Fantozzi had a formidable plan: 682 01:00:55,013 --> 01:00:59,856 thick socks, pants, flannel gown, tea-table at the TV... 683 01:00:59,856 --> 01:01:02,763 large onion omelette, which he loved... 684 01:01:02,763 --> 01:01:05,617 six-pack of cold beers, wild supporting shouting... 685 01:01:05,617 --> 01:01:07,023 and free burping! 686 01:01:08,075 --> 01:01:11,721 "We are about to go live from Wembley, broadcasting in Eurovision"... 687 01:01:11,721 --> 01:01:14,169 "the running commentary of the match"... 688 01:01:14,169 --> 01:01:17,398 "Italy Vs. England, qualifying for the World Cup". 689 01:01:19,804 --> 01:01:25,523 Ugo, look at her, doesn't she look like an angel? 690 01:01:26,513 --> 01:01:30,346 Yeah, yeah, sure! Leave me alone now, I don't want to hear a pin drop. 691 01:01:30,346 --> 01:01:32,763 Pina, the pepper! The pepper! 692 01:01:33,179 --> 01:01:36,460 Pina, also don't forget to disconnect the teleph--! 693 01:01:36,513 --> 01:01:42,763 "In a few moments we will hook up to Wembley, to broadcast in Eurovision the match"... 694 01:01:42,763 --> 01:01:45,867 "Italy Vs. England, World Cup qualifier". 695 01:01:46,804 --> 01:01:47,669 Hello? 696 01:01:49,231 --> 01:01:51,044 Oh, it's you accountant Filini! 697 01:01:51,044 --> 01:01:54,138 A-ha! Filini! I'm already in line. 698 01:01:54,138 --> 01:01:58,846 I'll bet against the treacherous Albion. 10 coffees to 1. Italy! Italy! 699 01:01:58,846 --> 01:02:00,023 Did you hear? 700 01:02:01,919 --> 01:02:03,179 What? 701 01:02:04,429 --> 01:02:08,252 OK, accountant. We shall obey. 702 01:02:08,252 --> 01:02:11,263 "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Wembley... " 703 01:02:11,263 --> 01:02:13,190 Italy! Italy! 704 01:02:13,190 --> 01:02:16,960 "...the teams are lining up for the national anthems". 705 01:02:20,419 --> 01:02:25,002 Ugo! I don't think you can watch the match tonight. 706 01:02:25,002 --> 01:02:26,138 Why? 707 01:02:26,419 --> 01:02:28,252 - We have to go out. - Who? 708 01:02:28,450 --> 01:02:29,960 Professor Riccardelli. 709 01:02:30,096 --> 01:02:30,638 No! 710 01:02:30,638 --> 01:02:36,742 Accountant Filini told me we have to go to watch... a Czechoslovak film. 711 01:02:36,794 --> 01:02:37,825 Noooooooo! 712 01:02:37,825 --> 01:02:39,638 It's subtitled in German though! 713 01:02:39,742 --> 01:02:42,315 - No! - Ugo! - Daddy! 714 01:02:42,773 --> 01:02:44,408 Ughino, don't act like this. 715 01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:50,127 "We are now at the epic moment. Italy and England will compete, in this historical match... 716 01:02:50,127 --> 01:02:52,742 "for the qualification to the World Cup finals". 717 01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:56,356 "They check the stop-watches. The referee blows the whistle"... 718 01:02:56,356 --> 01:02:57,388 It's the kick-off. 719 01:02:57,919 --> 01:02:59,367 Sorry. 720 01:02:59,408 --> 01:03:04,981 "Kick-off. Capello, Pulici, Antognoni. Antognoni sprints to the left, dodges the English defender. And again! 721 01:03:04,981 --> 01:03:08,075 - "And again. Back-heeled to Rocca". - Ugo, we're going to be late. 722 01:03:08,835 --> 01:03:12,169 "Rocca shoots. The English goalie saves it". 723 01:03:12,492 --> 01:03:15,898 "Throw in for Italy. Benetti controls and passes the ball to Pulici on the left". 724 01:03:16,117 --> 01:03:19,481 "Formidable sprint of Pulici, he blasts the ball but grazes the post!" 725 01:03:19,481 --> 01:03:24,294 "Now Bellugi on the ball. Bellugi to defender Capello". 726 01:03:24,294 --> 01:03:28,252 "He dodges McKinley who tries to bite him". 727 01:03:28,252 --> 01:03:31,471 "He kicks it and hits the English defender in the neck, Capello's shin, neck again". 728 01:03:31,471 --> 01:03:34,929 "Terrible scrum! Nose, neck, shin, neck, ear"... 729 01:03:34,929 --> 01:03:37,210 "Pulici intercepts the ball and saves it!" 730 01:03:38,044 --> 01:03:42,106 "Forgive my emotion, all of you sitting comfortably at the TV none excluded..." 731 01:03:42,106 --> 01:03:46,408 "but I hadn't seen such a start in 170 years!" 732 01:03:46,408 --> 01:03:51,335 "Tardelli holds now the ball and sprints. He eludes McKinley..." 733 01:03:52,585 --> 01:03:56,356 "To Savoldi now. Savoldi shoots and hits McKinley's neck, Savoldi's shin, Antognoni's nose". 734 01:03:56,356 --> 01:04:01,888 "Neck of the English goalie, McKinley's nose, Benetti's shin, neck, nose again." 735 01:04:06,304 --> 01:04:09,054 - Direct the aerial! - I am! 736 01:04:09,335 --> 01:04:11,513 - Ughino, calm down for Heaven's sake. - I couldn't hear. 737 01:04:21,575 --> 01:04:25,377 "Wonderful kick... but hits the goal post!" - Goal post! Goal post! 738 01:04:29,158 --> 01:04:32,054 - Ugo, where are you going? - Will you return daddy? 739 01:04:32,054 --> 01:04:35,158 "The Azzurri go again. They approach the penalty area". 740 01:04:35,158 --> 01:04:40,023 "The Azzurri attack. Antognoni hops and almost climbs over McKinley". 741 01:04:41,658 --> 01:04:43,419 Excuse me! Who hit the goal post? 742 01:04:44,710 --> 01:04:46,075 "McKinley hits it!" 743 01:04:46,190 --> 01:04:49,335 "The English goalie falls dreadfully on his back". 744 01:04:49,856 --> 01:04:52,565 "The 120,000 spectators at Wembley and you, millions of lucky ones"... 745 01:04:52,565 --> 01:04:55,752 "whom nothing in the world could tear away from the TVs"... 746 01:04:55,960 --> 01:05:00,106 "can easily recognize that Italy tonight overshadows the memory"... 747 01:05:00,106 --> 01:05:03,804 "of the legendary extra time of Italy Vs Germany, in Mexico". 748 01:05:11,471 --> 01:05:13,127 Nothing? 749 01:05:15,044 --> 01:05:15,565 The tie. 750 01:05:20,627 --> 01:05:24,606 Breast pocket. Perfect! 751 01:05:26,450 --> 01:05:28,710 Very good! Thank you. 752 01:05:29,471 --> 01:05:30,440 The mouth? 753 01:05:33,388 --> 01:05:35,867 9 inches pregnant? Congratulations! 754 01:05:36,033 --> 01:05:37,544 See? How embarassing! 755 01:06:03,096 --> 01:06:07,710 Much to my regret, due to a little inconvenience... 756 01:06:08,304 --> 01:06:11,888 the print of the Czech film didn't arrive in time. 757 01:06:12,575 --> 01:06:15,169 Therefore the screening cannot take place. 758 01:06:15,169 --> 01:06:16,960 BEAT IT! 759 01:06:17,846 --> 01:06:19,502 Where are you going? Everybody freeze! 760 01:06:23,065 --> 01:06:29,502 Instead, we will project the immortal masterpiece of the great Serghei M. Einstein... 761 01:06:29,638 --> 01:06:31,283 "Battleship Kotiomkin". 762 01:06:49,679 --> 01:06:54,648 I notice a certain vibe tonight. They take interest and exchange comments. 763 01:06:54,648 --> 01:06:56,721 Yes, yes. They are involved, Professor. 764 01:06:58,210 --> 01:07:01,356 They weren't exchanging comments. In the darkness of the hall... 765 01:07:01,356 --> 01:07:04,106 unascertained and unlikely rumors were spreading. 766 01:07:04,106 --> 01:07:07,408 It was said that Italy was winning 20 to 0... 767 01:07:07,669 --> 01:07:11,888 and that even the goalkeeper Zoff had scored a head goal on corner kick. 768 01:07:23,054 --> 01:07:25,252 (Twenty-one!) 769 01:07:49,419 --> 01:07:52,898 Well, let's open our usual debate. 770 01:07:53,596 --> 01:07:54,971 Who wants to start? 771 01:07:56,690 --> 01:07:59,825 You, Filini? Calboni? 772 01:08:03,908 --> 01:08:07,627 Excuse me! May I say something? 773 01:08:07,940 --> 01:08:09,898 Ah, our dear turd! 774 01:08:10,190 --> 01:08:13,117 Come here, come here "Fantocci"! Make yourself comfortable. 775 01:08:13,263 --> 01:08:15,825 You found the words at last. 776 01:08:16,179 --> 01:08:21,294 I wonder what deep aesthetic opinion you must have developed throughout all these years. 777 01:08:21,710 --> 01:08:23,690 Please, say. 778 01:08:24,221 --> 01:08:25,263 Well? 779 01:08:25,773 --> 01:08:29,950 In my opinion, "Battleship Kotiomkin"... 780 01:08:30,929 --> 01:08:33,033 ...is an UNBELIEVABLE LOAD OF CRAP! 781 01:08:33,033 --> 01:08:35,429 HURRAY! 782 01:08:37,106 --> 01:08:38,138 Bravo! 783 01:08:46,117 --> 01:08:47,242 Bravo! Bravo! 784 01:08:47,242 --> 01:08:50,200 92 minutes-long ovation! 785 01:08:53,648 --> 01:08:56,502 You got that? TURD! 786 01:09:09,888 --> 01:09:12,908 Burn! Burn! That's your soldiers' boots! 787 01:09:14,450 --> 01:09:16,669 First of all they destroyed... 788 01:09:16,669 --> 01:09:16,877 the damned private copy of the damned "Battleship Kotiomkin". First of all they destroyed... 789 01:09:16,877 --> 01:09:19,992 the damned private copy of the damned "Battleship Kotiomkin". 790 01:09:20,950 --> 01:09:23,992 On the chickpeas! On the chickpeas! 791 01:09:27,158 --> 01:09:30,565 - Watch! - Look at your "mother's eye"... 792 01:09:30,565 --> 01:09:32,752 and the pram with the baby! 793 01:09:34,169 --> 01:09:36,315 That's your "analogic" editing! 794 01:09:36,763 --> 01:09:38,367 Halt! Enough! 795 01:09:38,585 --> 01:09:41,033 Now the projections! 796 01:09:44,533 --> 01:09:47,679 For two days and two nights nonstop, Guidobaldo Maria Riccardelli... 797 01:09:47,679 --> 01:09:51,710 was forced to watch over and over again: 798 01:09:51,815 --> 01:09:56,460 "Giovannona Long-Thigh", "The Exorcist: Italian Style" and "The Police Gets Pissed". 799 01:10:01,742 --> 01:10:04,002 - Some coffee? - Would you like some coffee? 800 01:10:06,856 --> 01:10:08,669 Stay up, turd! 801 01:10:08,846 --> 01:10:10,440 - Some coffee Ugo? - No, no. 802 01:10:11,273 --> 01:10:12,940 What a hero Fantozzi! 803 01:10:12,940 --> 01:10:18,013 Until at the beginning of the 3rd day the police got pissed for real. 804 01:10:21,669 --> 01:10:24,471 You have nowhere to run! You are surrounded. 805 01:10:25,106 --> 01:10:26,294 Surrender! 806 01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:29,877 - Never! - Never! 807 01:10:31,210 --> 01:10:34,752 Fantozzi! It's the Director of Directors speaking. 808 01:10:34,752 --> 01:10:39,033 I suggest you to free the hostage at once and give the order... 809 01:10:39,033 --> 01:10:40,273 of unconditional surrender! 810 01:10:40,367 --> 01:10:42,888 You won't have us! Understood? Never! 811 01:10:43,304 --> 01:10:45,565 Ok... maybe you will. 812 01:10:46,575 --> 01:10:47,721 Enough! 813 01:10:49,106 --> 01:10:51,606 To make up with Professor Riccardelli... 814 01:10:51,731 --> 01:10:55,388 for the irreparable loss of his precious film... 815 01:10:55,388 --> 01:10:58,825 the mutineers were condamned to a horrible punishment... 816 01:10:58,825 --> 01:11:00,763 in the style of Dante's infernal circles. 817 01:11:00,992 --> 01:11:05,940 They had to reenact the main scene from the lost masterpiece... 818 01:11:05,981 --> 01:11:10,596 every saturday afternoon until retirement. 819 01:11:11,700 --> 01:11:13,210 We may begin. 820 01:11:28,627 --> 01:11:29,877 Die, Filini! 821 01:11:32,502 --> 01:11:34,825 - Damn you! - We will get our revenge! 822 01:11:35,065 --> 01:11:36,460 The boy falls down! 823 01:11:39,867 --> 01:11:41,252 Now the mother's eye. 824 01:11:53,398 --> 01:11:54,638 Soldiers, open fire! 825 01:11:55,346 --> 01:11:56,908 Murderers! 826 01:11:56,908 --> 01:11:58,710 Go with the pram! 827 01:11:58,710 --> 01:12:00,846 - Please, push gently. - Yes, accountant. 828 01:12:00,846 --> 01:12:02,773 This is the fourth time today. 829 01:12:08,815 --> 01:12:11,158 Oh, God! Oh, mama! Oh, God! 830 01:12:18,367 --> 01:12:19,773 Very good, "Fantocci"! 831 01:12:20,283 --> 01:12:23,700 And you're so perfect, chubby like a toddler. 832 01:12:23,763 --> 01:12:26,585 Have no worries, no one will ever replace you. 833 01:12:26,908 --> 01:12:29,481 You have what they call "fisique du rol". 834 01:12:29,544 --> 01:12:31,596 Now we do it again. 835 01:12:31,835 --> 01:12:34,096 - Again? - Yes indeed, again. 836 01:12:36,825 --> 01:12:38,283 - We do it again? - Yes, again. 837 01:12:38,283 --> 01:12:40,585 Very well. Did you see the analogic editing? 838 01:12:40,585 --> 01:12:42,565 Almost better than the original. 839 01:12:43,804 --> 01:12:46,679 Let's do it again. Everyone in position! 840 01:13:02,513 --> 01:13:05,523 - Ugo! - Bye, daddy! 841 01:13:07,210 --> 01:13:11,013 One sad morning, the wife Pina and Mariangela departed... 842 01:13:11,013 --> 01:13:15,138 to attend the obsequies of a distant second cousin from Pescara. 843 01:13:16,825 --> 01:13:20,440 They left Fantozzi alone with his grief. 844 01:13:25,388 --> 01:13:28,179 For the first time, after a lifetime of conjugal slavery,... 845 01:13:28,190 --> 01:13:31,950 he was free! With the house all to himself! 846 01:13:32,158 --> 01:13:34,179 Calboni took the situation in his hands... 847 01:13:34,179 --> 01:13:37,356 and dragged him into the most despicable of cheating schemes. 848 01:13:37,377 --> 01:13:39,606 I bet you need to tell me something... 849 01:13:40,533 --> 01:13:44,200 something unpleasant and you can't pluck up the courage to tell me, is that right? 850 01:13:44,304 --> 01:13:46,033 - No... - Yes! - No... yes. 851 01:13:46,554 --> 01:13:49,648 Could it be that sir Cominetti Massela... 852 01:13:49,648 --> 01:13:51,992 wants the budget report by tomorrow morning... 853 01:13:51,992 --> 01:13:55,169 and that me, you and accountant Filini... 854 01:13:55,179 --> 01:13:58,263 need to work all night perhaps at your house, yes? 855 01:13:58,263 --> 01:14:00,565 - Yes? Yes! - Yes. 856 01:14:01,294 --> 01:14:03,429 Just tonight that I was going out... 857 01:14:03,429 --> 01:14:05,533 for dinner with my wife. 858 01:14:06,377 --> 01:14:08,544 No worries dear, if you want... 859 01:14:08,617 --> 01:14:10,127 I can come too, to keep company. 860 01:14:10,210 --> 01:14:10,971 Of course! 861 01:14:11,085 --> 01:14:13,263 - No! - Eh... no? No. 862 01:14:13,648 --> 01:14:14,773 Alright. 863 01:14:15,127 --> 01:14:17,388 - I was gonna sit... - No, it's taken. 864 01:14:19,221 --> 01:14:21,158 - Here then? - No, that's taken too. 865 01:14:23,054 --> 01:14:27,544 - All taken then? - Come on, go in the back, there's so much space. 866 01:14:27,544 --> 01:14:29,960 With your leave, Mrs... Enjoy your lunch. 867 01:14:30,127 --> 01:14:31,169 See you, Fantozzi. 868 01:14:39,085 --> 01:14:41,929 Vivi, what do you say then? You can't? Ok. 869 01:14:42,617 --> 01:14:45,877 The rendevouz had been set for 9:30 PM at the telephone booth... 870 01:14:45,877 --> 01:14:47,033 in Garibaldi Avenue. 871 01:14:47,450 --> 01:14:50,554 Once there, Calboni made 126 calls... 872 01:14:50,648 --> 01:14:53,221 to such many unknown citizens... 873 01:14:53,221 --> 01:14:55,929 pretending to speak with starlets and models. 874 01:14:57,065 --> 01:15:00,169 Hello, Zizi. You recognized me? 875 01:15:00,367 --> 01:15:03,106 Yes, yes. I've got two friends with me. 876 01:15:04,721 --> 01:15:07,033 Middle-aged. 877 01:15:07,283 --> 01:15:10,815 One of them is short and fat. The other is slim but short-sighted. 878 01:15:11,106 --> 01:15:13,721 Thick glasses. Owl-like, you know? 879 01:15:14,700 --> 01:15:17,023 What? Ah, I understand. 880 01:15:17,700 --> 01:15:20,898 OK, bye Zizi. 881 01:15:21,700 --> 01:15:23,085 This one is busy too? 882 01:15:23,200 --> 01:15:25,721 Not at all, they would have all come... 883 01:15:25,825 --> 01:15:27,815 but they all find an excuse after I describe you. 884 01:15:28,044 --> 01:15:29,856 Well, obviously! You describe us like that... 885 01:15:30,065 --> 01:15:31,596 "Owl-like" you say! 886 01:15:31,742 --> 01:15:33,992 I can't damage my reputation. 887 01:15:34,023 --> 01:15:35,815 I can't swindle people. 888 01:15:36,190 --> 01:15:39,648 Excuse me Calboni, can't you just describe us less sensationally... 889 01:15:39,648 --> 01:15:42,742 - ... to the next one? - There's no next one, Zizi was the last one. 890 01:15:43,804 --> 01:15:47,450 - Careful now, an accident could happen. 891 01:15:49,752 --> 01:15:50,533 Hey! 892 01:15:54,773 --> 01:15:56,783 My girls are finished. What about yours? 893 01:15:56,835 --> 01:15:58,606 - No, no, no, wait a moment. 894 01:16:00,117 --> 01:16:03,283 - We agreed that accountant Fantozzi shares... - Oh my God! 895 01:16:03,283 --> 01:16:06,315 - What's up with you "pumpkin"? - I lost...! I lost...! 896 01:16:06,367 --> 01:16:10,148 My God! I lost my money! 897 01:16:10,565 --> 01:16:11,710 My savings. 898 01:16:12,867 --> 01:16:15,606 So we said: accountant Fantozzi shares his house, 899 01:16:15,606 --> 01:16:18,940 I brought the liquor, the rest is up to you. 900 01:16:19,325 --> 01:16:21,773 OK, OK! Let's see a moment. 901 01:16:22,450 --> 01:16:25,169 What an idiot! Why didn't I think of it before? 902 01:16:26,054 --> 01:16:28,075 - Who? - The Hippo! 903 01:16:28,471 --> 01:16:31,471 Is that a girl who's a little too... 904 01:16:32,085 --> 01:16:33,179 No, it's a club! 905 01:16:33,419 --> 01:16:37,960 A club attended by many lonely women seeking for some companionship. 906 01:16:38,065 --> 01:16:39,575 Let's go! Taxi! 907 01:16:39,617 --> 01:16:41,898 - Which ones are the first three? - Why taking three taxis? 908 01:16:41,898 --> 01:16:44,304 One each, of course. You only live once, right? 909 01:16:44,304 --> 01:16:45,273 Taxi! 910 01:16:51,544 --> 01:16:52,398 Hi, doll. 911 01:16:55,294 --> 01:16:57,117 My apologies, doll... ahem, madam. 912 01:16:58,013 --> 01:17:00,210 - Is it busy tonight? - You're the first customers. 913 01:17:00,940 --> 01:17:05,502 She meant that they were the first customers in three months! 914 01:17:06,460 --> 01:17:09,127 - Someone's coming. - Come on girls, get up! 915 01:17:20,565 --> 01:17:22,867 These are all women from the upper middle-class aristocracy. 916 01:17:23,013 --> 01:17:24,992 There are even some big names. 917 01:17:25,367 --> 01:17:26,367 No, I don't know them. 918 01:17:26,460 --> 01:17:29,648 Incognito is the rule here though. 919 01:17:30,054 --> 01:17:34,367 No names, only telephone numbers. People choose and phone each other... 920 01:17:34,721 --> 01:17:36,085 An aperitif, gentlemen? 921 01:17:37,690 --> 01:17:38,763 Would you like to drink something? 922 01:17:39,075 --> 01:17:40,585 Oh, yes! 923 01:17:40,627 --> 01:17:43,096 We brought a bottle of "Prunella Ballor". 924 01:17:44,033 --> 01:17:47,231 What's wrong with you? We're bringing home-food now? 925 01:17:48,200 --> 01:17:50,335 We will have three "Scotch-s", thank you. 926 01:17:51,575 --> 01:17:52,658 What are we having, Calboni? 927 01:17:52,658 --> 01:17:53,700 Three "Scot-ch-s". 928 01:17:53,908 --> 01:17:54,992 In the meanwhile, I'll go for it. 929 01:17:55,096 --> 01:17:56,179 "Scot-ch". 930 01:17:59,075 --> 01:17:59,742 Yes? 931 01:18:00,179 --> 01:18:04,158 Miss 10, would you meet me, let's say... 932 01:18:04,158 --> 01:18:08,325 on the dance floor in... let's say, 5 seconds? 933 01:18:08,356 --> 01:18:09,919 - OK. - See you soon. 934 01:18:11,700 --> 01:18:14,585 See? Come on, give it a try. 935 01:18:17,096 --> 01:18:21,210 Thank you, Countess. Thank you, dear. You're looking beautiful. 936 01:18:21,856 --> 01:18:23,940 Come on, choose. 937 01:18:24,013 --> 01:18:25,440 - Me? - Yes. 938 01:18:26,929 --> 01:18:30,742 Filini, number 3 is looking at us. 939 01:18:31,138 --> 01:18:33,940 So is number 12... and number 7... 940 01:18:35,054 --> 01:18:36,273 even number 1! 941 01:18:37,898 --> 01:18:38,867 - and number 5 too! - and number 5 too! 942 01:18:39,596 --> 01:18:42,585 Accountant... they are all looking at us. 943 01:18:42,731 --> 01:18:44,731 Accountant, say a number. 944 01:18:44,877 --> 01:18:46,158 - Me? - Yes. 945 01:18:46,408 --> 01:18:48,210 Ahem... 180! 946 01:18:48,419 --> 01:18:51,033 Don't exaggerate, they are only 12. 947 01:18:53,169 --> 01:18:55,617 Well, I like number 5. 948 01:18:55,794 --> 01:18:58,335 Goodness! I also liked number 5. 949 01:18:58,335 --> 01:19:00,877 - I'll leave her to you. - No, no, no, she's yours! 950 01:19:00,877 --> 01:19:03,148 No, please! Dial. 951 01:19:06,783 --> 01:19:08,815 - Don't sweat. - My palms are a bit sweaty. 952 01:19:09,190 --> 01:19:12,179 Here. I'll dial it for you. 953 01:19:14,710 --> 01:19:17,513 - Hello? - Hello? Who's speaking? 954 01:19:17,617 --> 01:19:20,169 - It's Olga, darling. - This is not Cometti's residence? 955 01:19:20,763 --> 01:19:22,763 Sorry, wrong number. 956 01:19:22,908 --> 01:19:25,304 - Wrong number, right. - It's your turn now. 957 01:19:25,888 --> 01:19:27,127 I'll give it a go. 958 01:19:27,221 --> 01:19:28,710 You called me, darling? 959 01:19:29,627 --> 01:19:31,658 - Hello. Did you call the lady? - To be honest I... 960 01:19:31,710 --> 01:19:35,492 So why did you call? Do you mind if I sit? 961 01:19:36,075 --> 01:19:40,221 - Must be a wire contact... - Do you mind if I bring a friend? 962 01:19:40,460 --> 01:19:44,231 - Do you mind if I order Champagne? - Of course not! Waiter, take away this junk. 963 01:19:44,231 --> 01:19:46,263 Away, away! Garçon, Champagne! 964 01:19:48,075 --> 01:19:49,929 They did everything that could be done... 965 01:19:49,929 --> 01:19:51,867 to get robbed in a night club. 966 01:19:52,460 --> 01:19:55,398 Two crates of Dom Perignon made with baking soda. 967 01:19:58,346 --> 01:20:00,335 Midnight flambé dinner. 968 01:20:04,450 --> 01:20:06,440 Tragic souvenir photos of the night. 969 01:20:06,752 --> 01:20:09,085 Calboni ordered 40 copies. 970 01:20:10,283 --> 01:20:14,190 Plus three monstrous plush toys gifted to the ladies. 971 01:20:16,263 --> 01:20:19,054 Gypsy violins on the dance floor. 972 01:20:19,908 --> 01:20:20,742 If only I could have... 973 01:20:22,096 --> 01:20:23,138 the opportunity... 974 01:20:25,429 --> 01:20:26,471 to find... 975 01:20:28,138 --> 01:20:31,096 a person who could understand me, I would be willing to do anything. 976 01:20:32,388 --> 01:20:36,023 - How is it going with yours? - Mine is a bit too tall. 977 01:20:36,721 --> 01:20:40,242 Good. I think it's time to bring them to your house. 978 01:20:40,450 --> 01:20:41,513 Oh, yes? 979 01:20:43,231 --> 01:20:46,117 Bravo! Bravo! Thank you, guys! 980 01:20:46,388 --> 01:20:48,096 Goodnight! Let's go then. 981 01:20:50,367 --> 01:20:51,992 - The bill, sir. - Sure. 982 01:20:55,023 --> 01:20:56,471 Well, put it on my tab. 983 01:20:57,513 --> 01:20:58,283 What tab? 984 01:20:59,679 --> 01:21:00,700 Send the bill to me. 985 01:21:01,263 --> 01:21:02,502 To which address? 986 01:21:03,773 --> 01:21:05,721 You deal with this. We square up later. 987 01:21:05,721 --> 01:21:08,242 - In the meanwhile I talk to the ladies. - You fix this then? 988 01:21:20,513 --> 01:21:21,835 Excuse me. 989 01:21:26,815 --> 01:21:29,294 649,000 Liras! 990 01:21:30,148 --> 01:21:32,440 Plus 18% service charge! 991 01:21:33,794 --> 01:21:36,763 Four years of sacrificed savings. 992 01:21:41,773 --> 01:21:47,085 Furthermore, Calboni finally revealed the true identity of those "ladies". 993 01:21:48,481 --> 01:21:52,138 I agreed on 50,000 Liras per girl. A bargain, right? 994 01:21:53,315 --> 01:21:55,169 What? They want money? 995 01:21:55,242 --> 01:21:58,200 Yes, why? How much have we got left? 996 01:21:58,888 --> 01:22:01,950 With accountant Filini's 8,000 Liras we have... 997 01:22:02,398 --> 01:22:05,992 - 52,000 Liras. - Gee, it's just enough for my girl. 998 01:22:06,106 --> 01:22:08,450 Well, give it to me because mine wants to be paid in advance. 999 01:22:10,408 --> 01:22:12,835 Sorry girls, they are stingy. A pair of scroungers. 1000 01:22:13,023 --> 01:22:14,804 Come. Let's go. Taxi! 1001 01:22:15,408 --> 01:22:17,992 How does one get a taxi around here? Taxi! 1002 01:22:18,513 --> 01:22:20,450 This time he called nine of them. 1003 01:22:21,033 --> 01:22:23,773 An average of two and a quarter each. 1004 01:22:36,721 --> 01:22:38,221 - Calboni? - You fix this... 1005 01:22:38,221 --> 01:22:41,096 - ...we square it later. - But how? They want to be paid. 1006 01:22:41,138 --> 01:22:42,794 How do I fix this? Calboni? 1007 01:22:42,950 --> 01:22:46,544 - I have no more m... - Hey, who's paying here? 1008 01:22:46,815 --> 01:22:48,252 Just a moment. 1009 01:22:48,773 --> 01:22:49,752 Filini? 1010 01:22:49,773 --> 01:22:51,106 Yes, accountant? 1011 01:22:52,200 --> 01:22:54,731 - You fix this. - Me? 1012 01:22:54,763 --> 01:22:58,617 - Yes, we'll square it... later. - How? 1013 01:22:58,627 --> 01:23:01,783 Accountant Fantozzi, don't leave me like this. 1014 01:23:01,783 --> 01:23:04,804 Filini spent the rest of the night in the Emergency Room... 1015 01:23:04,960 --> 01:23:07,575 of "Our Lady Immaculate" hospital. 1016 01:23:14,158 --> 01:23:17,888 Instead, Fantozzi spent the night on his own doorstep. 1017 01:23:27,877 --> 01:23:31,294 It's 7 already! Pina, hurry! Coffee, newspapers, the mail! 1018 01:23:32,169 --> 01:23:34,408 Good morning, Mrs. Silvani-Calboni... 1019 01:23:34,617 --> 01:23:37,106 - What brings you here? - Where is my husband? 1020 01:23:38,669 --> 01:23:40,856 Eh... ah... eh... ah... 1021 01:23:41,200 --> 01:23:42,877 I didn't understand the question. 1022 01:23:42,908 --> 01:23:44,763 Where is my husband, the swine? 1023 01:23:45,158 --> 01:23:46,638 - The swine? Surveyor Calboni? - Exactly. 1024 01:23:47,242 --> 01:23:52,919 Surveyor Calboni did a whole detour... and left. 1025 01:23:53,002 --> 01:23:53,460 - Is that so? - Yes. 1026 01:23:53,669 --> 01:23:56,950 Why were you laying here like a watchdog then? 1027 01:23:57,398 --> 01:24:00,742 Because each saturday it's my turn. 1028 01:24:00,929 --> 01:24:05,575 - In this building we draw names and... - Stop playing the fool, Fantozzi! 1029 01:24:06,033 --> 01:24:07,877 You know fine well that he's in there with a woman. 1030 01:24:08,138 --> 01:24:12,513 And you're helping him. You're a pander! You rent by the hour! 1031 01:24:12,679 --> 01:24:14,117 - By the hour? - Yes, by the hour! 1032 01:24:14,356 --> 01:24:19,304 "Fantocci" don't be a fool and open this door! 1033 01:24:19,804 --> 01:24:21,533 Ma'am, I don't have the keys. 1034 01:24:22,148 --> 01:24:23,200 Isn't this your apartment? 1035 01:24:23,356 --> 01:24:27,221 This one? No, it was... I mean... I... 1036 01:24:28,138 --> 01:24:30,533 He bolted the door. 1037 01:24:34,221 --> 01:24:36,033 - Swine! - You're a swine, Calboni! 1038 01:24:36,325 --> 01:24:39,169 You made her cry. Open up! 1039 01:24:39,773 --> 01:24:41,398 You made her cry. Swine! 1040 01:24:43,106 --> 01:24:44,648 - "Fantocci". - Fantozzi. 1041 01:24:45,304 --> 01:24:46,471 - "Fantocci". - "Fantocci". 1042 01:24:46,658 --> 01:24:51,544 "Fantocci", be a man and break through that door. 1043 01:24:54,054 --> 01:24:54,888 I will. 1044 01:24:59,596 --> 01:25:02,971 Wait, it did't come out good. I'll try again. 1045 01:25:05,950 --> 01:25:08,033 - What are you doing? - The door is brand new. 1046 01:25:08,263 --> 01:25:10,648 Break through the door properly! Start from up there... 1047 01:25:11,044 --> 01:25:12,294 - ...and give it a good push. - Yes. 1048 01:25:13,690 --> 01:25:17,638 Take a flying jump, come on! Come down like a battering-ram. 1049 01:25:21,835 --> 01:25:22,731 Banzai! 1050 01:25:23,929 --> 01:25:25,252 Ok, ok, I'm opening. 1051 01:25:32,794 --> 01:25:36,721 He fell right on the 5:26 bus. The number 77... 1052 01:25:37,377 --> 01:25:40,596 returned him home at 6:13... 1053 01:25:40,960 --> 01:25:44,325 after completing the whole Ring Road around the city. 1054 01:25:53,783 --> 01:25:54,408 Swine! 1055 01:25:56,283 --> 01:25:57,648 Oh, it's you accountant Fantozzi? 1056 01:25:58,190 --> 01:25:59,523 I thought it was that swine. 1057 01:26:00,377 --> 01:26:02,513 Besides, you sneak in like that. No warning or anything. 1058 01:26:02,867 --> 01:26:04,596 Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, madam. 1059 01:26:05,492 --> 01:26:07,648 Why that face? I didn't kill you, did I? 1060 01:26:07,835 --> 01:26:08,554 It was so light. 1061 01:26:09,044 --> 01:26:12,763 Indeed, it was my wife's precious Murano blownglass vase. 1062 01:26:13,085 --> 01:26:15,596 Do not worry though, Luckily we have two... 1063 01:26:16,002 --> 01:26:17,179 Mrs. Silvani-Calboni. 1064 01:26:17,606 --> 01:26:19,752 Don't call me that! I don't want to hear that name! 1065 01:26:19,846 --> 01:26:21,533 I'm sorry, I won't call you that again. 1066 01:26:21,575 --> 01:26:23,554 It's the last one you know? 1067 01:26:23,752 --> 01:26:26,117 It's safer if I put it away. 1068 01:26:29,440 --> 01:26:31,221 Luckily, I saved it. 1069 01:26:36,221 --> 01:26:37,502 So can I return... 1070 01:26:37,940 --> 01:26:40,763 to call you Miss Silvani... 1071 01:26:40,971 --> 01:26:42,075 like in the good old days? 1072 01:26:42,502 --> 01:26:43,502 - You know what he did? - No. 1073 01:26:43,731 --> 01:26:46,158 You want to know? Not only he cheated on me... 1074 01:26:46,325 --> 01:26:48,085 but he ran away, the coward! 1075 01:26:48,106 --> 01:26:49,492 He left me alone with that beanpole. 1076 01:26:49,752 --> 01:26:50,940 You know what she did? 1077 01:26:51,242 --> 01:26:52,773 She broke an umbrella on my head. 1078 01:26:53,815 --> 01:26:56,263 It was my wife's umbrella. The only umbrella. 1079 01:26:57,169 --> 01:26:59,221 The straw that broke the camel's back. 1080 01:26:59,315 --> 01:27:02,096 You already broke everything. And here's me thinking... 1081 01:27:02,179 --> 01:27:05,356 that you were a happy couple. 1082 01:27:06,325 --> 01:27:07,867 It was the biggest mistake of my life. 1083 01:27:10,158 --> 01:27:11,242 A tragedy. 1084 01:27:12,054 --> 01:27:13,950 - A failure. - Madam! 1085 01:27:15,002 --> 01:27:16,356 Madam! 1086 01:27:17,408 --> 01:27:18,398 What are you doing? 1087 01:27:18,950 --> 01:27:21,367 I was kissing my... your hand. 1088 01:27:22,877 --> 01:27:25,481 Luckily I'm still young and good looking... 1089 01:27:25,481 --> 01:27:26,596 to start over again. 1090 01:27:26,679 --> 01:27:28,346 You're beautiful. 1091 01:27:28,398 --> 01:27:30,825 It's over! It's over! You know what I'll do now? 1092 01:27:30,825 --> 01:27:33,596 - No. - I'll sleep in a hotel tonight. 1093 01:27:33,679 --> 01:27:35,127 - Good! - And then you know what I'll do? 1094 01:27:35,481 --> 01:27:38,898 I'll quit work, get my severance. And I'll run off with whoever is at hand. 1095 01:27:39,065 --> 01:27:40,804 Why with whoev... ev... hand? 1096 01:27:40,877 --> 01:27:41,898 What did you say? 1097 01:27:42,085 --> 01:27:43,919 Why run off with whoever is at hand? 1098 01:27:44,815 --> 01:27:45,398 Madam... 1099 01:27:46,846 --> 01:27:48,648 I'm also tired of this life. 1100 01:27:49,231 --> 01:27:51,190 I can get severance too. 1101 01:27:51,377 --> 01:27:54,304 I'm young and good-looking enough too. 1102 01:27:58,075 --> 01:28:00,565 Madam, just say one word. 1103 01:28:00,929 --> 01:28:02,648 No wait, not even that... 1104 01:28:02,815 --> 01:28:04,638 because silence gives consent. 1105 01:28:04,940 --> 01:28:07,252 Madam, let me hug you! 1106 01:28:12,544 --> 01:28:16,544 This time it was the bus number 102 from the hills. 1107 01:28:16,638 --> 01:28:20,231 So Fantozzi had all the time to go through... 1108 01:28:20,231 --> 01:28:23,023 all possible solutions for his new life. 1109 01:28:23,440 --> 01:28:26,690 "Croupier" in Casablanca. Drummer in Harlem. 1110 01:28:26,700 --> 01:28:31,794 Hippie in Nepal. At last, he let her decide... 1111 01:28:32,096 --> 01:28:33,273 her mate. 1112 01:28:34,065 --> 01:28:35,773 - Let's go to Capri. - To do what? 1113 01:28:36,252 --> 01:28:37,460 I don't know. Like a honeymoon. 1114 01:28:38,783 --> 01:28:40,054 We'll see from there. 1115 01:28:42,315 --> 01:28:45,044 Accountant Fantozzi, what's the matter? Come on! 1116 01:28:45,825 --> 01:28:48,710 It was the last punch of his life. 1117 01:28:48,992 --> 01:28:53,460 Fantozzi did it with indifference... as usual. 1118 01:29:03,669 --> 01:29:07,117 In the same style, trying... 1119 01:29:07,117 --> 01:29:11,481 not to give away any emotion, he had his last meal with the family. 1120 01:29:24,929 --> 01:29:26,179 Well... 1121 01:29:28,054 --> 01:29:30,565 I'm going out... 1122 01:29:30,658 --> 01:29:32,148 to buy cigarettes. 1123 01:29:37,117 --> 01:29:37,856 Yes, Ugo. 1124 01:29:38,638 --> 01:29:39,752 No, it's OK. 1125 01:29:44,544 --> 01:29:47,648 - I'll be back soon. - Yes. 1126 01:29:52,356 --> 01:29:54,304 Cigarettes? Dad has never smoked. 1127 01:29:56,158 --> 01:29:58,294 He decided to try. 1128 01:29:58,794 --> 01:30:00,013 Let's hope he decides to quit soon. 1129 01:30:15,575 --> 01:30:18,398 Imagine that in 11 hours... 1130 01:30:18,815 --> 01:30:20,669 11 hours and 40 tops... 1131 01:30:21,096 --> 01:30:22,804 we'll be in Naples. 1132 01:30:23,773 --> 01:30:26,960 In my honeymoon it took us 1 hour and 20... 1133 01:30:27,481 --> 01:30:29,960 with a Mercedes spider 2800. 1134 01:30:30,429 --> 01:30:33,763 Calboni was what he was but he knew cars. 1135 01:30:34,179 --> 01:30:36,992 For your honeymoon with Calboni you went to... 1136 01:30:37,377 --> 01:30:38,335 Capri? 1137 01:30:39,273 --> 01:30:41,971 That's where people usually go for a honeymoon, isn't it? 1138 01:30:43,710 --> 01:30:46,294 I don't know, Venice? 1139 01:30:46,950 --> 01:30:48,992 Venice! So ordinary. 1140 01:30:49,460 --> 01:30:52,346 It doesn't matter. What matters... 1141 01:30:52,492 --> 01:30:54,398 is to make a clean break with the past. 1142 01:30:54,419 --> 01:30:57,085 No, what matters is to be on time to catch the last ferry. 1143 01:30:59,221 --> 01:31:01,138 Speed up, Fantozzi! 1144 01:31:01,242 --> 01:31:02,492 We're going to miss it. 1145 01:31:02,888 --> 01:31:05,169 Faster! Turn that wheel come on! 1146 01:31:06,231 --> 01:31:07,700 Accelerate! 1147 01:31:08,898 --> 01:31:10,710 Brake! Brake! 1148 01:31:11,585 --> 01:31:12,419 Brake! 1149 01:31:19,533 --> 01:31:21,346 Calboni was what he was... 1150 01:31:21,450 --> 01:31:23,544 but when I travelled with him weather was great. 1151 01:31:23,752 --> 01:31:25,377 As hot as Africa! 1152 01:31:26,533 --> 01:31:28,492 Well, excuse me madam... 1153 01:31:29,138 --> 01:31:31,242 but you went in July... 1154 01:31:32,033 --> 01:31:34,065 and today is the 20th of December. 1155 01:31:36,731 --> 01:31:39,721 I bet Calboni didn't even feel seasick. 1156 01:31:40,117 --> 01:31:42,700 Oh well, you can say anything about that swine... 1157 01:31:42,981 --> 01:31:44,627 but he's as seaworthy as a battleship. 1158 01:31:47,940 --> 01:31:49,690 Why? You won't vomit here, will you? 1159 01:31:49,971 --> 01:31:51,106 No, no, no! I'm... 1160 01:31:51,502 --> 01:31:53,315 I'm an aircraft c... An aircraft carrier! 1161 01:31:53,783 --> 01:31:55,013 An aircraft carrier! 1162 01:31:57,888 --> 01:31:58,731 Excuse me! 1163 01:32:02,658 --> 01:32:05,252 Oi! Man overboard! Man overboard! 1164 01:32:15,544 --> 01:32:16,940 To top Calboni... 1165 01:32:17,210 --> 01:32:20,502 Fantozzi chose the most expensive hotel in Capri. 1166 01:32:21,127 --> 01:32:23,940 Also because it was the only one open in winter. 1167 01:32:26,971 --> 01:32:28,992 - Your luggage, please. - Who's this? 1168 01:32:29,429 --> 01:32:31,013 - The luggage. - Get your hands off. 1169 01:32:31,429 --> 01:32:33,700 Son...! Son of a gun! 1170 01:32:33,908 --> 01:32:36,523 - Thief, hands off! - Please, leave your luggage to me. 1171 01:32:40,794 --> 01:32:42,481 Sorry. I'm very sorry. 1172 01:32:42,523 --> 01:32:44,138 You're so rough with the subordinates, Fantozzi. 1173 01:32:44,627 --> 01:32:47,377 I'll sit down a moment while you go to the reception. 1174 01:32:47,763 --> 01:32:48,710 At your order, madam. 1175 01:32:53,544 --> 01:32:55,367 Good morning, excuse me... 1176 01:32:55,888 --> 01:32:59,117 do you have two single rooms by chance? 1177 01:33:00,013 --> 01:33:01,419 We only have suites, sir. 1178 01:33:04,002 --> 01:33:05,335 How much are they? 1179 01:33:05,804 --> 01:33:07,440 - 60,000. - That's all? 1180 01:33:07,544 --> 01:33:09,492 Fantozzi thought 60,000 a month. 1181 01:33:10,617 --> 01:33:12,096 This is low season, sir. 1182 01:33:12,783 --> 01:33:15,908 The sea-view suite is 80,000, sir. 1183 01:33:17,388 --> 01:33:20,013 If you would like something better we have the Royal suite... 1184 01:33:20,023 --> 01:33:20,825 100,000. 1185 01:33:21,263 --> 01:33:23,565 - I'll take it! - Very well, sir. 1186 01:33:23,815 --> 01:33:25,096 It's mine! Don't give it to anyone else! 1187 01:33:25,408 --> 01:33:27,835 I'll give you the documents imediately. 1188 01:33:28,502 --> 01:33:31,888 This is the lady's passport... 1189 01:33:32,356 --> 01:33:34,179 ahem, the madam's passport. 1190 01:33:34,502 --> 01:33:36,908 And this is my bowls club card. 1191 01:33:37,138 --> 01:33:40,679 - I'll pay you now. - There's no rush sir, you can pay later. 1192 01:33:40,731 --> 01:33:42,513 Follow me. 1193 01:33:42,585 --> 01:33:44,481 - Here. - Thanks. 1194 01:33:45,700 --> 01:33:47,731 - You're welcome. - The key? 1195 01:33:48,710 --> 01:33:52,533 A suite like this for 100.000 sounds like something out of a fairytale. 1196 01:33:53,033 --> 01:33:54,575 It's even too much. 1197 01:33:54,867 --> 01:33:57,190 - This is the bedroom... - Not bad. 1198 01:33:57,773 --> 01:33:59,679 - ...with two bathrooms. - Yes, of course. 1199 01:34:01,221 --> 01:34:03,419 This is almost boorish. 1200 01:34:09,075 --> 01:34:10,315 What happened now? 1201 01:34:11,023 --> 01:34:12,460 - The key on my foot. - Good. 1202 01:34:12,617 --> 01:34:15,148 - What you mean "good"? - Do you prefer to have dinner downstairs... 1203 01:34:15,148 --> 01:34:17,273 or in your room? 1204 01:34:17,679 --> 01:34:20,825 Here! Here! With candles! A cosy dinner in the room. 1205 01:34:21,294 --> 01:34:23,346 No way! Neither here nor downstairs... 1206 01:34:23,377 --> 01:34:25,460 I couldn't eat a caper tonight. 1207 01:34:25,908 --> 01:34:28,888 My only dream is to get into this bed. 1208 01:34:29,638 --> 01:34:31,190 Into the bed? No capers! 1209 01:34:31,190 --> 01:34:34,367 I'm not hungry either. Get lost! 1210 01:34:35,273 --> 01:34:36,763 Madam. 1211 01:34:39,096 --> 01:34:41,648 Ugo Fantozzi, what's on your mind? 1212 01:34:41,888 --> 01:34:43,940 Calboni was what he was... 1213 01:34:44,398 --> 01:34:46,200 but on the first night he had the tactfulness... 1214 01:34:46,200 --> 01:34:48,606 ...of sleeping in the other room. Won't you do the same? 1215 01:34:48,700 --> 01:34:50,346 No, ahem... yes. 1216 01:34:50,429 --> 01:34:52,585 - Then go sleep in the other room. - Yes. 1217 01:34:53,044 --> 01:34:54,460 - Go already! - Yes, yes. 1218 01:34:56,013 --> 01:34:58,585 - Goodnight. - Goodnight. 1219 01:35:07,481 --> 01:35:10,190 - What's the matter now? - My... my hand! 1220 01:35:10,294 --> 01:35:13,565 - What? - I left my hand... 1221 01:35:14,013 --> 01:35:15,169 in your room! 1222 01:35:16,190 --> 01:35:17,585 I can leave it to you... 1223 01:35:17,585 --> 01:35:20,523 - ...if you like. - No, no. Take it back... 1224 01:35:20,617 --> 01:35:22,346 and stop harassing me. 1225 01:35:23,585 --> 01:35:28,450 First day, morning. Tragic shopping with frantic search for the infamous... 1226 01:35:28,929 --> 01:35:32,783 Caprese fishermen clogs, which suited Calboni so well. 1227 01:35:33,742 --> 01:35:35,502 I love 'em! 1228 01:35:35,825 --> 01:35:37,992 They make you look thinner. Can you walk? 1229 01:35:38,252 --> 01:35:41,742 Yes, yes, madam. I can walk... so-so. 1230 01:35:43,315 --> 01:35:45,304 I can walk... I can almost... 1231 01:35:45,502 --> 01:35:47,231 HOLY SHIT! 1232 01:36:19,908 --> 01:36:21,992 How am I doing? 1233 01:36:22,981 --> 01:36:25,283 Good. Very good. 1234 01:36:40,325 --> 01:36:41,429 Fantozzi! 1235 01:36:42,096 --> 01:36:44,325 Why don't you go through the famous stacks? 1236 01:36:44,481 --> 01:36:45,940 Calboni used to do it all the time! 1237 01:37:20,075 --> 01:37:21,263 Is this thing yours? 1238 01:37:21,888 --> 01:37:24,179 Yes, yes. Carry him to the Royal suite. 1239 01:37:31,335 --> 01:37:34,294 What...? Where am I? 1240 01:37:36,513 --> 01:37:38,169 I'm on the double bed. 1241 01:37:38,835 --> 01:37:40,283 - Ma'am? - Yes? 1242 01:37:40,606 --> 01:37:41,992 - Where are you? - Here. 1243 01:37:42,481 --> 01:37:43,481 What are you doing? 1244 01:37:43,523 --> 01:37:44,929 Reddening my lips. 1245 01:37:44,971 --> 01:37:46,158 You cracked your lips? 1246 01:37:46,252 --> 01:37:48,440 No, Fantozzi. I meant painting my lips. 1247 01:37:50,919 --> 01:37:52,408 Madam... 1248 01:37:52,575 --> 01:37:54,710 Did I sleep on the... Good morning. 1249 01:37:55,585 --> 01:37:58,846 Did I sleep in the double bed? 1250 01:37:59,023 --> 01:38:00,690 - Yes, yes. - Sorry? 1251 01:38:00,919 --> 01:38:02,263 Yes, Fantozzi. 1252 01:38:03,523 --> 01:38:05,096 - And what did I do? - Everything. 1253 01:38:05,533 --> 01:38:08,929 - Sorry? - Everything, Fantozzi. 1254 01:38:09,398 --> 01:38:10,669 Madam... 1255 01:38:10,763 --> 01:38:13,179 I feel like angels are flying. 1256 01:38:14,554 --> 01:38:16,992 Always so poetic, Fantozzi. 1257 01:38:19,252 --> 01:38:21,054 Although, madam... 1258 01:38:21,096 --> 01:38:24,075 I can't remember anything at all. 1259 01:38:24,544 --> 01:38:25,763 It's for the best, Fantozzi. 1260 01:38:26,554 --> 01:38:29,763 Let's go, let's go. Calboni was what he was... 1261 01:38:30,158 --> 01:38:31,648 but at this time he was already swimming in the pool. 1262 01:38:32,367 --> 01:38:33,773 Let's go. 1263 01:38:34,544 --> 01:38:35,929 To the swimming pool then! 1264 01:38:42,190 --> 01:38:44,804 Madam, here's a nice swim in the teeth of Calboni. 1265 01:38:45,523 --> 01:38:47,471 Excuse me waiter, how's the water in the swimming pool? 1266 01:38:47,721 --> 01:38:48,648 What water? 1267 01:38:55,606 --> 01:38:57,617 Fantozzi! What are you doing? 1268 01:38:57,898 --> 01:39:04,940 Come in madam, don't be afraid, it's not deep. 1269 01:39:05,783 --> 01:39:09,127 In the evening Fantozzi attempted a desperate recovery. 1270 01:39:09,679 --> 01:39:11,367 I can hear the sea! 1271 01:39:12,638 --> 01:39:14,450 You're hearing it and I'll go in it. 1272 01:39:14,658 --> 01:39:16,804 I bet Calboni never attempted... 1273 01:39:16,898 --> 01:39:19,690 an Acapulco-style dive like this. 1274 01:39:20,513 --> 01:39:23,054 Isn't it a bit too high? 1275 01:39:25,835 --> 01:39:28,315 No worries, madam. I've got a boat there... 1276 01:39:28,315 --> 01:39:30,221 waiting for me. I'm going then. 1277 01:39:31,669 --> 01:39:33,023 Bless the Virgin Mary protector of divers. 1278 01:39:52,888 --> 01:39:54,731 I see you had a nice day, sir. 1279 01:40:08,481 --> 01:40:10,242 This is my stuff. 1280 01:40:10,971 --> 01:40:13,888 And those shoes? 1281 01:40:14,388 --> 01:40:17,169 Excuse me, whose shoes are those? 1282 01:40:17,398 --> 01:40:21,054 They're her husband's. He arrived an hour ago to spend the holidays with her... 1283 01:40:21,658 --> 01:40:23,044 and they are already partying. 1284 01:40:23,794 --> 01:40:25,888 They're already... partying. 1285 01:40:25,960 --> 01:40:28,460 You took so long to find me. 1286 01:40:28,773 --> 01:40:31,690 I couldn't wait any longer. Cheers, my love. 1287 01:40:32,231 --> 01:40:34,888 Cheers my arse. You swear that... 1288 01:40:34,888 --> 01:40:36,929 the cockroach never touched you! 1289 01:40:37,398 --> 01:40:39,283 Of course I swear it. 1290 01:40:39,960 --> 01:40:43,200 I only let him think that. He fell for it like an idiot. 1291 01:40:43,544 --> 01:40:44,846 I almost pity him. 1292 01:40:54,690 --> 01:40:58,023 "Swimming pool repairs, restoration of the main stack... 1293 01:40:58,085 --> 01:40:59,627 compensation... 1294 01:41:00,575 --> 01:41:03,471 compensation for destruction of furnishings... 1295 01:41:03,627 --> 01:41:06,356 four stretcher-bearer calls, one for recovery room... 1296 01:41:06,731 --> 01:41:08,763 pre-owned boat completely destroyed... 1297 01:41:08,815 --> 01:41:12,731 tourist tax and full board for Mr. and Mrs. Calboni until Epiphany day". 1298 01:41:13,888 --> 01:41:15,554 Is this all the cash? 1299 01:41:19,148 --> 01:41:20,367 Promissory notes! 1300 01:41:20,408 --> 01:41:24,867 2 lbs and 3/4 of them, to be paid within three months. 1301 01:41:26,356 --> 01:41:29,263 Fantozzi signed them with cold indifference... 1302 01:41:29,700 --> 01:41:33,096 because he had already planned to kill himself... 1303 01:41:33,106 --> 01:41:34,971 by jumping off from Tiberius's Leap. 1304 01:41:40,700 --> 01:41:44,408 Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp! 1305 01:41:55,325 --> 01:41:58,585 He was later caught by a fishing boat from Torre Anunziata... 1306 01:41:59,263 --> 01:42:02,075 resold to "Findus" and then put on the market... 1307 01:42:02,075 --> 01:42:03,835 as frozen grouper. 1308 01:42:08,429 --> 01:42:09,815 Merry Christmas, madam. How may I help you? 1309 01:42:09,877 --> 01:42:13,721 - Merry Christmas. I would like... - That one? 1310 01:42:14,252 --> 01:42:15,263 Two nice slices? 1311 01:42:15,408 --> 01:42:17,742 No, no, no! I want it in one piece. 1312 01:42:18,263 --> 01:42:19,721 All of it, whole! 1313 01:42:20,731 --> 01:42:21,815 How much per pound? 1314 01:42:40,908 --> 01:42:42,096 Ugo... 1315 01:42:43,023 --> 01:42:44,242 everything will be fixed. 1316 01:42:45,898 --> 01:42:48,221 Even at the office. 1317 01:42:49,158 --> 01:42:50,398 If not, who cares. 1318 01:42:51,106 --> 01:42:52,388 What matters is that you love us. 1319 01:42:55,096 --> 01:42:56,002 Do you love us? 1320 01:42:56,981 --> 01:42:57,929 Do you love us, daddy? 1321 01:43:04,148 --> 01:43:05,565 Yeah, after all... 1322 01:43:06,252 --> 01:43:07,492 who cares! 1323 01:43:09,846 --> 01:43:10,763 Good heavens. 1324 01:43:11,481 --> 01:43:12,794 Ugo, are you alright? 1325 01:43:15,127 --> 01:43:16,398 Ugo, dear. 1326 01:43:24,419 --> 01:43:26,263 - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! 1327 01:43:36,731 --> 01:43:39,752 Hello? Yes, that's me. Who's speaking? 1328 01:43:41,804 --> 01:43:42,481 Who? 1329 01:43:43,867 --> 01:43:45,242 Is this a prank? 1330 01:43:45,679 --> 01:43:46,585 It was not. 1331 01:43:46,804 --> 01:43:50,835 On the phone it was indeed the Mega President himself. 1332 01:43:51,263 --> 01:43:53,544 Dear Fantozzi, first of all, Merry Christmas. 1333 01:43:54,002 --> 01:43:56,638 I have here your re-instatement request and your file. 1334 01:43:57,450 --> 01:44:00,585 I apologise for disturbing the privacy of your home in this Holy night... 1335 01:44:00,585 --> 01:44:04,075 but I put up at my office because for me work... 1336 01:44:04,075 --> 01:44:05,127 is prayer. 1337 01:44:05,648 --> 01:44:07,502 I need to talk to you for a moment... 1338 01:44:07,950 --> 01:44:09,554 so sit down and listen... 1339 01:44:32,294 --> 01:44:34,096 So, dear Fantozzi, do you accept? 1340 01:44:34,263 --> 01:44:34,888 Yes! 1341 01:44:36,065 --> 01:44:38,804 Fantozzi! Here already? 1342 01:44:39,315 --> 01:44:41,950 - I accept everything! - But... 1343 01:44:42,044 --> 01:44:44,044 you didn't even hear what I'm offering. 1344 01:44:44,533 --> 01:44:45,981 I accept anyway. 1345 01:44:46,065 --> 01:44:48,377 I surrender unconditionally. 1346 01:44:50,190 --> 01:44:53,783 Come here then, dear Fantozzi... 1347 01:44:54,669 --> 01:44:56,617 What's the matter? Are you afraid? 1348 01:44:57,044 --> 01:44:58,669 But we love you so much. 1349 01:44:58,981 --> 01:45:01,502 That's why I'm afraid. 1350 01:45:02,148 --> 01:45:04,971 Come, come... 1351 01:45:05,273 --> 01:45:07,575 Let's kill the fattened CALF! 1352 01:45:07,648 --> 01:45:08,606 Me? 1353 01:45:09,054 --> 01:45:12,315 Not you, of course. You're the prodigal son. 1354 01:45:12,846 --> 01:45:16,835 The lost sheep that returns to the FOLD! 1355 01:45:17,888 --> 01:45:20,804 And we say: "welcome back"! 1356 01:45:21,054 --> 01:45:22,960 Thank you. So you're taking me back? 1357 01:45:23,013 --> 01:45:23,992 Of course. 1358 01:45:24,398 --> 01:45:26,263 Will I get my old job back? 1359 01:45:27,033 --> 01:45:29,742 No. Not exactly. 1360 01:45:30,544 --> 01:45:33,065 But we give you something more. 1361 01:45:33,523 --> 01:45:35,096 - Meaning? - Meaning... 1362 01:45:35,221 --> 01:45:36,867 that aside from our forgiveness... 1363 01:45:37,075 --> 01:45:41,315 we're also offering you the purifying joy of deserving it. 1364 01:45:42,127 --> 01:45:48,138 You will start from zero, Fantozzi. From the lowest rank. 1365 01:45:48,398 --> 01:45:51,867 We hire you back as... 1366 01:45:51,867 --> 01:45:54,700 ...lightning rod. 1367 01:45:55,919 --> 01:45:58,533 Fantozzi! 1368 01:45:59,065 --> 01:46:01,044 I wish you a good day... 1369 01:46:01,190 --> 01:46:02,804 my dear accountant! 1370 01:46:03,554 --> 01:46:06,148 Please, don't be so sad! 1371 01:46:06,794 --> 01:46:10,638 Laugh! Laugh! Because work is joy! 1372 01:46:10,742 --> 01:46:13,044 Work is mirth! 1373 01:46:14,450 --> 01:46:16,971 Yes, that's the spirit! 1374 01:46:19,794 --> 01:46:21,877 And now, get to work! 1375 01:46:24,398 --> 01:46:27,825 Excellent! Good luck, Fantozzi! 1376 01:47:05,638 --> 01:47:11,888 Fantozzi Ugo, accountant. ID 1001/bis. From the accidents department. 1377 01:47:14,492 --> 01:47:20,742 Get over here. (Yes Director!) Go over there. MOVE IT! 1378 01:47:22,304 --> 01:47:24,908 Uhh, there's a new glass wall here! 1379 01:47:25,950 --> 01:47:33,242 Time to get up, eat and dress up... hope I can catch the bus. 1380 01:47:35,846 --> 01:47:41,575 If I'm too late, for punching my card... FANTOZZI! 1381 01:47:43,138 --> 01:47:46,783 Please, don't crucify me in the canteen. It's embarassing. 1382 01:47:47,825 --> 01:47:51,992 This is some public humiliation! It gets my fingers all tangled up! 108059

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.