Original subtitles

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(shushes)

They can't know you're here.

LIME: Can't tell my messages boards I got scanned.

They'll never forgive me.

I'll get banned for inappropriate language.

Again.

- Gotcha! - (Purple gasps)

LIME: I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get another one, too.

I'm gonna get all of you.

PURPLE: Oh. Phew.

- (gasps) - YELLOW: Okay, count of three,

favorite shoe insert.

One, two, three.

- Orthotics. - BROWN: Orthotics.

YELLOW: So true.

Favorite candle scent. One, two, three.

- Papaya Sunrise. - Papaya Sunrise.

YELLOW: But what about favorite final seasoning flourish, eh?

One, two, three.

- Flakey Salt. - BROWN: Au naturel.

YELLOW: What? Nothing? Come on.

BROWN: Blows out your palette.

(Purple panting) Whoa!

(splash)

- RED: Ew, Purps. - PURPLE: Oh, boy.

RED: Why are you wallowing in blood?

GREEN: Yeah. Why you wallowing, Purps?

PURPLE: You think I decided to wallow by sitting in a puddle of blood?

- GREEN: Hmm, Purps's got a point, Redsie. - (Purple sighs)

- ORANGE: Fun reminder. - (Purple screams)

ORANGE: MIRA assumes no liability

for any and all cartoonish blood puddle slip-and-falls.

GREEN: Bloodle policy's ironclad.

PURPLE: Isn't anybody worried, I don't know,

why there's blood outside of MedBay?

RED: Wait, shut up.

Why is there blood outside of MedBay?

PURPLE: It's locked.

- RED: Captain to the rescue. - PURPLE: Whoa!

- (crash) - Damn it.

RED: (grunts) Captain's kick.

(Purple groans)

RED: Wow, sucks that I'm so ripped, huh? (Chuckles)

Hey, Blue, what's wrong... you dead in there or something?

(all gasp)

(Red gasps)

PURPLE: Maybe we can see if Blue

is okay on the MedBay camera.

RED: Oh, you still collect vintage binoculars, huh?

(exhales sharply) Hot, hot, hot...

PURPLE: Hmm. Blue's in there, all right.

ORANGE: But why aren't they responding?

GREEN: Yeah, and how do we get in to find out?

- (Lime grunts) Damn, wrong turn. - (all scream)

GREEN: Great Caesar's Worm Farm,

how do you fit in those vents?

LIME: Easy. Years of scalding hot yoga

gave me squish bone syndrome.

(strains) Keeps my bone limber.

GREEN: Note to self: "get yoga syndrome."

LIME: Yes, sir, squeezing through those hot metal tubes

is like the warm caress of a perpetual adult childbirth.

RED: Uh, Green, Captain's tip:

never ask Lime anything ever again.

PURPLE: Lime, uh, can you access MedBay using the vents?

(Lime scoffs) Can a chemtrail do a backflip?

PURPLE: I'll take that as a yes, which is profoundly kind of me.

ORANGE: But we all know Lime is, uh, navigationally challenged.

RED: True, Purple's idea sucks. New plan.

I'll guide Lime through the vents into MedBay

using my impeccable sense of direction.

And these blueprints.

Left. Left.

Another, uh... uh, what does this say?

I don't know, I guess, uh, eight lefts.

LIME: I'm blind as a bat down here,

which, I'll have you know, they weren't always blind,

but made not to see.

CYAN: But in my next dream, I was on a roller coaster,

which my ThetaHealer says symbolically represents...

BLACK: Childhood fear of roller coasters?

CYAN: Yes. See? Now you're getting it.

- (shouts) - LIME: Gah. You ain't Blue.

CYAN: I mean, I'm blue-curious.

RED: Uh, which way is north in space?

- Uh... - (Purple grunts)

Try hanging three rights

where Red said to take ten lefts.

(grunting)

(mutters)

♪ ♪

GREEN: Hi, there.

- (Lime screams) - (all screaming)

RED: One dead crewmate, sure, that's an oopsie.

But two? Makes me look like a bad leader.

And I can't let that happen.

ORANGE: I'm afraid you already have.

RED: I'm a good captain. I can't let MIRA down.

I'm good.

Green, mop up that bloodle.

Orange, gather the crew so we can tactfully tell them

about Blue's possible graphic death.

Purple, rewind the footage so we can see

how or if Blue died.

- ORANGE: Aye aye. - GREEN: Mm-hmm.

PURPLE: Yeah, so, again, the cameras can't rewind

because they don't record.

RED: Well, why weren't you watching? Isn't that your whole job?

PURPLE: Uh, I had to call my cool cousin Josh.

Joshy.

RED: Make a call? When comms are down?

PURPLE: Well, I-I was practicing.

Practicing my-my call to my cool cousin Joshy.

RED: Oh, come on. I know you. Don't lie.

PURPLE: What? H-How could you even assume I would...

I-I mean, I-I'm not lying.

RED: Eh, whatever you say, Purple.

Mm, okay.

Yep, definitely dead.

Even in death, Blue can make being covered in pink goo work.

What a legacy.

LIME: Where's the last body scan?

The doctor promised to destroy mine!

RED: Uh, I know part of your "process"

is being "eccentric,"

but you can't just trash the place.

LIME: Weren't me. Something sabotaged this joint

like a government-funded tornado.

And that ain't the whole parfait.

This scan's got no bone.

RED: Hmm. Whose bone-less scan is this?

LIME: No clue. Still missing one,

and Blue never got a chance to label the lot of them

before buying a one-way ticket to the devil's playground.

RED: Hmm.

(mumbling)

No bone. Huh?

Huh.

No biggie.

One of the scans is missing

because Blue promised to destroy yours, right?

And the bone thing? Probably a glitch.

LIME: Bah. Glitches are just big tech's way

of gaslighting your computer.

RED: Uh, yeah. (Laughs)

Those words are all in a sentence.

Now, time to tell the crew there's another corpse on board.

♪ ♪

(alarm blares)

COMPUTER: Emergency meeting.

Emergency meeting.

ORANGE: Hi, team.

Here to circle back and touch base with you all,

- the captain. - (Red clears throat)

Crewmates. A crew of mates.

Sounds so simple, but is it really?

Nay.

Alas, I am tasked with sharing the official cause of death

for a mate of crew.

Try to live as they might,

Blue officially died of... (clears throat)

acute ripping off of the face.

(all exclaiming, clamoring)

CYAN: Oh, that was the most beautiful part about them.

Other than their brain, body, shoulders,

emotional intelligence and depth of self.

BLACK: Yeah, now I'm stuck looking at you ugly losers.

No offense.

- PURPLE: No, you're right. - (all agreeing)

CYAN: I understand.

GREEN: Who'll be the hot one now?

- RED: I will. - BROWN: Yellow.

YELLOW: Aw, thanks, Brown.

RED: No, me. I can be the hot one now.

ORANGE: Fun reminder. Nobody's the hot one.

We're all equally mediocre, formless, non-sexual beings

- who are very, very ugly. - ALL: AW.

PURPLE: Hate to steer conversation to anything...

I don't know... remotely important,

but shouldn't we be worried?

Isn't there a murderer among us?

RED: Uh, no way. Two deaths? (Chuckles)

That's just a couple run-of-the-mill accidents.

Now, three makes it a murder mystery.

BLACK: Any one of us could be the killer.

CYAN: Maybe the roller coaster in my dream represents...

murder?

YELLOW: Quick, Brown... one, two, three.

- Not a killer. Ah. - BROWN: Not a killer. Ah.

ORANGE: Purple, was it you?

Leading us to Blue with your so-called slip?

RED: Hmm, "whoever smelt it dealt it" rules.

- Interesting. - PURPLE: What?

With that logic, it could be Red or Green or Lime or you.

- We all found Blue's body together. - GREEN: True.

And if you need me to be the murderer,

I'll happily take the fall to beef up my résumé.

ORANGE: No.

Self-imposed wrongful imprisonment

is against company policy.

Company-imposed wrongful imprisonment only.

YELLOW: Any decision about who the killer is

should be mutually agreed upon.

No truth, no pizza.

When the blood spills, the marinara doesn't.

CYAN: Stop with the bad vibes.

Solutions come from good vibes only.

BLACK: Yes, classic scientific method:

hypothesis, vibes, conclusion.

(all clamoring)

LIME: Why's nobody talking about the no-bone scan?!

(Red laughing weakly)

- Oh, Lime, you batty ol' coot. - LIME: I'm younger than you!

- RED: Wait, you are? - LIME: I was born on a leap year.

I'm only six years old.

RED: Ah, yes, of course you are.

Buddy, that so-called no-bone scan?

It was just a glitch, remember? Nothing nefarious.

(Lime chuckles) That's what they want you to think.

It's a classic UFO cover-up.

GREEN: Golly. The murderer's an alien?

ORANGE: Preposterous. Aliens aren't real.

RED: Yeah, kid, don't goad Lime. They're, uh... Hmm.

What's the polite way to say, uh...

(mimics gurgling, babbling)

LIME: Bah. The only... (mimics babbling) I see is

the bravado of thinking we're the only intelligent life

in this lonely infinity.

Now, lean in close

as I weave a tale of possible truth.

RED: (scoffs) Yeah, okay, let's cede the floor

to the most sane member of our crew.

♪ ♪

LIME: The killer's an alien and it likes to kill

and it looks like this.

DRAWING: Hey, buddy.

- YELLOW: Oh, wow. - ORANGE: Really?

BLACK: If this visor was an eye, I would roll it.

LIME: You... don't believe I drew this?

BLACK: Oh, no, we all believe that part.

ALL: Mm-hmm.

GREEN; Okay, maybe not an alien.

LIME: No! It's the perfect shape to hide in bodies.

RED: Enough! I'm the captain.

And I captain's promise you, aliens aren't real.

And even if they are, they don't like to kill.

LIME: (grunts) None of you are safe!

I know the truth. I know your secrets.

The vents whisper them to me.

Like your little secret in Oxygen.

And your little book that traps people's dreams.

CYAN: Uh, you mean my dream journal?

PURPLE: Oh, c... c-clearly, Lime's lost it. See?

LIME: You'll all be sorry.

When the aliens come for you

and crawl their little stick bodies

inside you blobby bodies, you'll all be sorry.

Chaos has found a new home!

BLACK: So, clearly, the lone wolf who went off the deep end

is the killer, right?

CYAN: I don't know. Lime's fear feels so traumatic.

So real.

YELLOW: So real because Lime's afraid of us discovering

their filthy truth?

(scoffs) If I killed Blue, I'd deny it, too.

RED: Hmm, of course, whoever denied it supplied it...

ORANGE: Lime is the only one of us able to fit into the vents.

If they could enter to open the MedBay doors...

GREEN: (gasps) They could have also snuck in

to kill Blue in the first place.

RED: But, uh, either way,

I think we can all agree it's a bummer to suspect

our weird, suspicious,

definitely-not-six-years-old friend Lime.

But on the flip side,

nice to agree it's not an alien.

The more plausible and comforting solution

is that it's a murderer.

Just a regular ol' murderer. (chuckling) No biggie.

YELLOW: They've got guilt written all over them.

(indistinct chatter)

PURPLE: Hey, hey, you...

what are doing over there?

Oh, uh, me? (weak chuckle)

I'm just standing here.

(chuckles) No biggie.

Keybot, Keybot, Keybot. Keybot.

Chirp.