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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,012 Right. I have bleached the loo, I've gone over the Nest login with Mum, 2 00:00:06,012 --> 00:00:10,024 I've emptied the bathroom bins, and I have done a pee. 3 00:00:10,024 --> 00:00:14,060 Oh, and you'll need to hand-wash that cup. Yes, I will... Wow! 4 00:00:15,084 --> 00:00:19,008 Schwing! Please don't schwing me, Marcus! 5 00:00:19,008 --> 00:00:22,020 It's objectifying and it makes me feel old. Sorry. 6 00:00:22,020 --> 00:00:28,036 I was just schwinging you entirely in the spirit of empowerment and respect. 7 00:00:28,036 --> 00:00:31,064 I'm sorry. Pre-wedding nerves. Right. 8 00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:37,004 Ms Walcott, are you ready for your last drinks partay as a single laday? 9 00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,048 Yeah. I guess. 10 00:00:39,076 --> 00:00:41,080 Right, have you got the car keys? Yep. 11 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:42,084 Here you go. 12 00:00:44,052 --> 00:00:46,028 Shit balls! 13 00:00:48,064 --> 00:00:50,040 Sorry. 14 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:53,000 # Dreamer 15 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,080 # You know you are a dreamer 16 00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,044 # Well, can you put your hands in your head? # 17 00:01:03,044 --> 00:01:06,048 Ambassador, with these, um... 18 00:01:06,048 --> 00:01:09,028 They're grape, chutney and Brie crostini. 19 00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:12,092 With these Brie, chutney and grape... I get it, Dawn. 20 00:01:12,092 --> 00:01:15,024 ..grape crostini... Yes, you don't have to finish. 21 00:01:15,024 --> 00:01:19,012 ..you are really spoiling us! Hats off! Big time! 22 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:22,016 Some more of this cava? It's champagne. 23 00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:24,072 Make sure people know that, and don't drink all of it! 24 00:01:24,072 --> 00:01:27,012 I want there to be some left when Marcus' parents... 25 00:01:27,012 --> 00:01:28,084 Oh, speak of the devil! 26 00:01:29,092 --> 00:01:31,084 Shray, Mishti! Welcome, welcome. 27 00:01:31,084 --> 00:01:33,048 Mwah, mwah. 28 00:01:33,048 --> 00:01:34,052 I'm sorry we're late. 29 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:37,044 I had to perform an emergency DRC, and it rather dragged on. 30 00:01:37,044 --> 00:01:41,000 I don't know what that is but, boy, do I like the sound of it! 31 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:46,036 It's re-plumbing a tear duct. Hello, I'm Dawn. I'm Tess' sister. 32 00:01:46,036 --> 00:01:51,016 It is an honour to meet you, Dr Tandell. 33 00:01:51,016 --> 00:01:56,000 Please, call me Mr. Oh, don't be so modest! No, I'm a surgeon. 34 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,060 The correct title is Mr. It's a common mistake. 35 00:01:59,060 --> 00:02:03,012 It's Mr. Well, I think I deserve a drink. 36 00:02:03,012 --> 00:02:04,088 Get me a glass, would you, darling? 37 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:13,000 So, I'm waiting with bated breath, Mr Shray! How did the op go? 38 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,052 Well, let's just say, 39 00:02:14,052 --> 00:02:18,056 when he came around, he wept tears of joy from both eyes. 40 00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:21,000 Oh! Excuse me. 41 00:02:28,092 --> 00:02:30,068 You've got lipstick on your teeth. 42 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,044 Hi! 43 00:02:42,044 --> 00:02:45,044 Right. Let's get you set up. You hungry? Mm-hm. 44 00:02:45,044 --> 00:02:49,012 Do you want to watch some telly on me phone? Mm. Oh, no, I can't. 45 00:02:49,012 --> 00:02:52,068 I'm on maid of honour duty. I've got to be on it like a bonnet. 46 00:02:52,068 --> 00:02:57,020 What's this, cheese on toast? Kind of, yeah. I'll save it for later. 47 00:03:05,032 --> 00:03:08,096 It's about sort of four inches across, two inches wide... 48 00:03:08,096 --> 00:03:13,056 Oh, no, thanks. Keto diet. Oh, these are for milady and for the bride. 49 00:03:13,056 --> 00:03:15,092 I was just picking Mr Shippen's brains about the... 50 00:03:15,092 --> 00:03:20,040 If you call me Mr Shippen again, I'm going to put you in detention! 51 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:25,024 Sorry! I was just picking Sir's brains about the wall scuff. 52 00:03:25,024 --> 00:03:28,040 What you stressing about a scuff on the wall for? It's your wedding eve! 53 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:32,056 It's annoying! I've tried putty rubber, a damp cloth, Vanish. 54 00:03:32,056 --> 00:03:36,076 Someone told me to spit on it with vinegar. Have you tried a baby wipe? 55 00:03:36,076 --> 00:03:38,088 I don't use baby wipes cos of the fatbergs. 56 00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:45,036 Do you know anyone who's actually seen a fatberg with their own eyes, 57 00:03:45,036 --> 00:03:48,028 or did you just read about it in The Guardian? 58 00:03:49,052 --> 00:03:52,088 Don't shoot the messenger. Nige! 59 00:03:55,048 --> 00:03:56,052 Unbelievable! 60 00:03:56,052 --> 00:03:59,048 How can he be a geography teacher and a fatberg denier? 61 00:03:59,048 --> 00:04:03,084 I thought he was one of the good guys. Bet he voted Leave! 62 00:04:03,084 --> 00:04:04,088 Leave what? 63 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:10,000 So sorry, but do these have dairy in them? Oh, bollocks! 64 00:04:24,036 --> 00:04:29,060 Do you need a top-up? Oh, thanks. God, this is hellish! 65 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:32,008 You're a saint, you know, waiting on these awful people. 66 00:04:32,008 --> 00:04:33,076 Oh! 67 00:04:33,076 --> 00:04:38,052 I don't work here. I'm a guest. Oh, God, I'm so sorry! No, not at all. 68 00:04:40,056 --> 00:04:43,044 I don't want to be here either. Who made you come? 69 00:04:45,024 --> 00:04:48,068 I'm the mother of the groom. Oh. You? Oh... 70 00:04:49,072 --> 00:04:53,060 I made love to Cathy's father for three glorious decades. 71 00:04:55,008 --> 00:04:56,012 Mm. 72 00:04:57,052 --> 00:04:59,084 And that is why you should never trust your GP. 73 00:05:01,076 --> 00:05:02,080 Sorry, ladies. 74 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,024 Would I be able to steal the groom for a second, please? 75 00:05:05,024 --> 00:05:07,068 Thank you. Bit of an odd one, 76 00:05:07,068 --> 00:05:10,040 but that scuff on the wall is really bothering me, 77 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,048 and I was just wondering whether you could nip me to the DIY store, 78 00:05:13,048 --> 00:05:16,040 and then I could just get it out of my mind before we go away? 79 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,084 God, Cathy! I... Hi! Hi, lovely to see you! 80 00:05:19,084 --> 00:05:22,060 It would just really put my mind at rest. Um, look. 81 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:25,004 I'm on my third glass of fizz... Please, Marcus! 82 00:05:26,008 --> 00:05:29,012 I don't get it. It's just a stupid scuff. 83 00:05:29,012 --> 00:05:34,016 Let's just enjoy ourselves, hm? Yeah. You're completely right. OK? 84 00:05:34,016 --> 00:05:35,020 Yeah, of course. 85 00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:41,068 Hey! Save it for the wedding night! Shut up, Rupert! 86 00:05:45,008 --> 00:05:46,012 Oh, come here! 87 00:05:48,084 --> 00:05:49,088 Like that. 88 00:05:56,008 --> 00:05:59,092 You know it's staff only back here? Maid of honour - access all areas. 89 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:04,028 Yeah? All areas? All areas. 90 00:06:07,008 --> 00:06:09,028 Oh! Great job, guys. 91 00:06:09,028 --> 00:06:11,036 Just to let you know that the mini cheeses on toast 92 00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:14,016 were absolutely disgusting! 93 00:06:14,016 --> 00:06:16,084 But, otherwise, you're nailing it. 94 00:06:25,032 --> 00:06:27,000 You, Cat! 95 00:06:28,044 --> 00:06:31,020 Do you see that girl over there, by the cellist, yeah? 96 00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:33,084 That is Verity Longworth, and she's a pilot. 97 00:06:34,096 --> 00:06:39,084 Verity was due to be maid of honour until you tipped up on the scene. 98 00:06:39,084 --> 00:06:45,004 I mean, I am Cathy's sister. No! Half-sister. You are only a half. 99 00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,092 That's still 50% more than the pilot. 100 00:06:48,052 --> 00:06:51,080 If anything goes wrong - anything - I will blame you. 101 00:06:52,096 --> 00:06:54,020 All right, cava breath! 102 00:06:55,052 --> 00:06:56,056 It's champagne! 103 00:06:57,060 --> 00:07:01,016 And if you know your history, said the geography teacher, 104 00:07:01,016 --> 00:07:03,056 you'd realise that all of this is just cyclical 105 00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:06,060 and there's irrefutable scientific evidence to support it, 106 00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:08,028 and you can quote me on that. 107 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,000 Better not be sending dick pics. 108 00:07:19,096 --> 00:07:23,000 I'm messing, mate. Oh, yeah! Ha-ha! No, no, no. 109 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,008 I'm just checking in on the BA app for our flights tomorrow 110 00:07:26,008 --> 00:07:27,028 after the wedding. OK, cool. 111 00:07:27,028 --> 00:07:29,016 Well, I can't piss about cos I'm on duty, 112 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:33,004 but I just wanted to give you your wedding present. Oh! Oh, how kind! 113 00:07:33,004 --> 00:07:36,028 We actually had a John Lewis wedding list, so... Oh! 114 00:07:38,012 --> 00:07:41,048 My sister loves you and, because of the ancient code of sisterhood, 115 00:07:41,048 --> 00:07:47,036 I must, on this, your wedding eve, extendeth my love to ye. 116 00:07:47,036 --> 00:07:50,052 Two Cathys for the price of one! I don't mind if I do! 117 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,088 Don't cheapen the moment. 118 00:07:54,024 --> 00:07:57,036 No, but, seriously, treat her like a princess, or I will post to 119 00:07:57,036 --> 00:08:01,016 all the local forums that you send dick pics to your receptionist. 120 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,004 Have a nice night, Marcus. 121 00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:05,008 OK. 122 00:08:15,084 --> 00:08:18,024 Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! 123 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:27,096 I locked it. Did you see anything? No, nothing, I swear, nothing. OK. 124 00:08:27,096 --> 00:08:30,092 To be honest, I was just looking for somewhere to lay low. 125 00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:33,084 I feel like a spare prick at an orgy out there. 126 00:08:33,084 --> 00:08:35,032 That's one way of putting it! 127 00:08:37,008 --> 00:08:40,012 Do you fancy joining me in the party bunker? 128 00:08:43,008 --> 00:08:46,040 Maybe just the one, huh? Bottoms up! 129 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,088 Or, as Colin used to say, up your bottom! 130 00:08:52,092 --> 00:08:56,028 Mm! Oh, I love it when it goes up your nose! 131 00:09:00,092 --> 00:09:05,092 Hi! Oh, enjoying the nuts - great! Cheers! Hey, hey! 132 00:09:05,092 --> 00:09:07,076 How much have you had to drink? Nothing, why? 133 00:09:07,076 --> 00:09:11,056 Who said I've been drinking? Huh? No, can you drive me to a DIY store? 134 00:09:11,056 --> 00:09:12,088 There's still a free bar, babe! 135 00:09:12,088 --> 00:09:15,072 Nobody leaves until the free bar ends, then everyone leaves at once. 136 00:09:15,072 --> 00:09:19,076 You know, I am possessed by that scuff! It's eating away at my brain! 137 00:09:19,076 --> 00:09:23,024 And if I don't fix it tonight, then it'll ruin my honeymoon. Please! 138 00:09:23,024 --> 00:09:26,056 We'll be there and back in 20 minutes. Fine. Come on! 139 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,080 A trolley for one tin of paint? You never know what you're going to get! 140 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:45,084 Oh! Those boxes are... Oh, shit! Keep walking. Well, well, well! 141 00:09:46,096 --> 00:09:48,088 If it isn't Cat Wall Cock! 142 00:09:50,036 --> 00:09:52,036 Never got called that at school? 143 00:09:52,036 --> 00:09:55,016 Well, in a netball tournament once, someone called me Wall Clot. 144 00:09:55,016 --> 00:09:59,056 Oi, dickhead! I'm livestreaming you. Who's this? 145 00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:03,008 Your carer? Oh, sorry - your mad mum's carer. 146 00:10:05,060 --> 00:10:08,076 Let's just go and get your stupid paint and go back to the party. 147 00:10:13,084 --> 00:10:17,004 Oh, that is ridiculously good value for Dulux. 148 00:10:18,048 --> 00:10:20,068 The store will be closing in ten minutes. 149 00:10:20,068 --> 00:10:23,052 Could all customers please make your way to the tills? 150 00:10:23,052 --> 00:10:26,040 Except for the slag in Aisle Nine who should make HER way 151 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,036 to the jet washers, cos her fanny stinks. 152 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,072 God's sake. 153 00:10:32,072 --> 00:10:34,056 Got this 24/7 at school. 154 00:10:34,056 --> 00:10:36,036 Why didn't someone say something? 155 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,064 Snitches get stitches. 156 00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:40,080 And besides, Mum was housebound 157 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:43,000 and Dad wouldn't be seen in public with me. 158 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,032 Come on, let's just go. 159 00:11:00,032 --> 00:11:01,044 You all right? Yeah. 160 00:11:11,028 --> 00:11:13,028 I'm just going to take the trolley back. 161 00:11:22,064 --> 00:11:24,048 Yo! Melanie, hi. 162 00:11:24,048 --> 00:11:29,016 Uh, quick question - are you aware of the TV show Secret Millionaire? 163 00:11:29,016 --> 00:11:30,080 Yeah. Why? 164 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:34,092 Great. Well, you see Catherine Walcott out there? Yeah? 165 00:11:34,092 --> 00:11:38,064 Well, she has just inherited this entire empire 166 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:42,088 from a childless uncle, and she was about to give you a cheque 167 00:11:42,088 --> 00:11:46,068 for �22,000. 168 00:11:46,068 --> 00:11:49,008 But because of what you did back there, well... 169 00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:51,048 ..you blew it. 170 00:11:51,048 --> 00:11:53,080 So, joke's on you. 171 00:11:54,084 --> 00:11:58,072 Cat Walcott is a mad fantasist who pretended her dad was 172 00:11:58,072 --> 00:12:01,080 a roadie for Nickelback rather than admit he'd done a runner. 173 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,084 Now, can you leave the store, please? We're closing soon. 174 00:12:06,084 --> 00:12:09,044 You want to get a takeaway tonight? Yeah, why not, eh? 175 00:12:09,044 --> 00:12:11,000 Maybe Wall Cock will deliver it. 176 00:12:14,056 --> 00:12:19,036 Nobody calls my sister Wall Cock, you messy, messy bitch! 177 00:12:25,052 --> 00:12:27,044 Oh, my God! 178 00:12:27,044 --> 00:12:30,044 Quick! Shit. Oh, my God. 179 00:12:30,044 --> 00:12:31,072 Quick. Come on. 180 00:12:33,076 --> 00:12:34,088 You're barred! 181 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,000 Oh, my God, I can't believe I did that. 182 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,060 Oh, shit. Do you think they got it on CCTV? 183 00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:45,068 God, yes, I hope so. 184 00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:47,016 God, seriously, cheers, Cath. 185 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:50,040 You know, I've wanted to do that since I was 11. 186 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,072 Oh, is that my mum? Oh... 187 00:12:54,084 --> 00:12:57,012 Hot waiter. Oh, is it a dick pic? 188 00:12:57,012 --> 00:12:58,084 I really don't want to see a penis. 189 00:12:58,084 --> 00:13:02,016 Yeah, I bet you're sick of them after what Marcus did. 190 00:13:02,016 --> 00:13:05,032 How do you know about that? Why didn't you say something? 191 00:13:05,032 --> 00:13:07,008 Why didn't you say something to me? 192 00:13:08,028 --> 00:13:10,068 I mean, he's changed. 193 00:13:10,068 --> 00:13:12,020 He really is a good man. 194 00:13:15,096 --> 00:13:17,024 You know, what can you do? 195 00:13:21,024 --> 00:13:23,096 Do you think they've even noticed we're missing? Hmm. 196 00:13:23,096 --> 00:13:26,044 I bet that Tess is still up Shray's arse, eh? 197 00:13:26,044 --> 00:13:29,096 Am I being paranoid, but do you think she doesn't like me? 198 00:13:29,096 --> 00:13:32,040 Ooh! 199 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,080 Yeah, I can see why she might be a bit off with you. 200 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,036 You're goddamn gorgeous, you're fun 201 00:13:37,036 --> 00:13:39,080 and you're your own woman. 202 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:43,000 Not because I've been shagging her husband for a year. Hmm! 203 00:13:47,036 --> 00:13:51,072 Oh. Mm. Aw. Does it get any easier, the loss? 204 00:13:53,016 --> 00:13:57,052 No. Just think I'm getting used to the feeling. 205 00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:02,080 Everything feels a little bit smaller and darker 206 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,008 without him, but... 207 00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,072 ..better to have loved and lost and... 208 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:12,096 One in the hand is worth two up your bush... What...? 209 00:14:12,096 --> 00:14:17,012 Oh, I think you might need another drink, my love. 210 00:14:19,064 --> 00:14:22,048 Are you serious? You got me all the way over here for that? 211 00:14:23,052 --> 00:14:26,024 Why would you wrap a plastic sheet in more plastic? 212 00:14:26,024 --> 00:14:28,052 It's probably going to end up in a dolphin's lung, 213 00:14:28,052 --> 00:14:30,004 do you know what I mean? 214 00:14:30,004 --> 00:14:32,036 I bet Mr Shippen doesn't even believe in plastic. 215 00:14:32,036 --> 00:14:34,088 He's got enough of it injected in his face. 216 00:14:34,088 --> 00:14:37,004 Balls! 217 00:14:37,004 --> 00:14:39,008 I must've picked up the wrong colour. 218 00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,068 I wanted Natural Calico, 219 00:14:40,068 --> 00:14:43,084 and this is bloody Mineral Mist. Great, wicked. Well, just put 220 00:14:43,084 --> 00:14:46,028 the lid back on and you can take it back after your honeymoon. 221 00:14:46,028 --> 00:14:48,064 Cathy, we really need to get our skates on, 222 00:14:48,064 --> 00:14:51,016 otherwise we're going to miss the speeches. 223 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:53,064 Do you know what? I'm going to have to paint the whole wall. 224 00:14:53,064 --> 00:14:56,076 Ugh. I'd rather have a whole blue wall than think about 225 00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:58,008 that scuff on my honeymoon. 226 00:14:58,008 --> 00:15:01,028 Are you serious? Come on. The quicker we get this done, 227 00:15:01,028 --> 00:15:03,056 the quicker we can go back to the party. OK. 228 00:15:08,052 --> 00:15:12,012 What? I'm not messing up that dress. It's from Boohoo. 229 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:16,068 OK, so, I really just wanted to 230 00:15:16,068 --> 00:15:20,024 welcome you all here to our little soiree. 231 00:15:20,024 --> 00:15:26,060 And, in particular, Mr Shray Tandell and his lovely wife Misty. 232 00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:29,044 Did she just call me "Misty"? 233 00:15:29,044 --> 00:15:32,044 Now, if you don't mind, I am going to hijack the mic 234 00:15:32,044 --> 00:15:34,008 just for a couple of secs. 235 00:15:34,008 --> 00:15:37,040 Sex. I'd like some sex. 236 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,000 Erm, yeah. 237 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:44,096 So, as many of you know, this past six months has been 238 00:15:44,096 --> 00:15:48,068 something of a demi-annus horribilis for us. 239 00:15:48,068 --> 00:15:51,056 And, erm, it is true what they say, 240 00:15:51,056 --> 00:15:55,012 that you really find out who your friends are when 241 00:15:55,012 --> 00:15:57,020 ca va chier dans le ventilo. 242 00:15:59,036 --> 00:16:03,012 Erm... You'll pardon my French pronunciation. 243 00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:07,044 So, really I just wanted to thank you all for being 244 00:16:07,044 --> 00:16:09,064 bloody great mates. 245 00:16:09,064 --> 00:16:12,024 And for all the lasagnes. 246 00:16:12,024 --> 00:16:15,052 Most of which were home-made. 247 00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:17,008 Mine was. 248 00:16:17,008 --> 00:16:20,048 But I would like to thank two people in particular, 249 00:16:20,048 --> 00:16:24,060 erm, Cathy and Marcus. 250 00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:28,092 Ever since my ex left us, 251 00:16:28,092 --> 00:16:33,028 those two have been a pair of absolute megastars. 252 00:16:33,028 --> 00:16:36,056 Aw! So, I personally would like to thank 253 00:16:36,056 --> 00:16:39,020 my beloved daughter Catherine 254 00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:42,048 and her rock, and mine, Marcus. 255 00:16:42,048 --> 00:16:44,068 So, come on up, guys. Come on and be thanked. 256 00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:50,064 Where's...where's Cathy? Is she...? Cathy? Come on. Don't be shy. 257 00:16:50,064 --> 00:16:52,084 Cathy? Cathy? 258 00:16:53,088 --> 00:16:56,056 Anybody seen Cathy? I'm not sure. 259 00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:58,056 Well, let's...let's have a toast. 260 00:16:58,056 --> 00:17:02,012 A toast to the future Mr and Mrs Tandell. 261 00:17:02,012 --> 00:17:04,096 Dr - he's a long way from being a Mr. 262 00:17:06,036 --> 00:17:10,084 To the future Dr and Mrs Tandell, wherever she may be. 263 00:17:10,084 --> 00:17:12,056 So, to love. 264 00:17:12,056 --> 00:17:14,000 To love. 265 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,008 Cathy, what are you doing? 266 00:17:17,008 --> 00:17:19,060 Well, this wall isn't going to match that wall now, is it? 267 00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:23,016 Cathy, stop. Call it weird sister telepathical shit, 268 00:17:23,016 --> 00:17:24,048 but is this about your wedding? 269 00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:28,052 No. This is about an unfortunate scuff on the wall 270 00:17:28,052 --> 00:17:31,032 and the subsequent rectification of said scuff. 271 00:17:31,032 --> 00:17:33,036 Why are you talking like Judge Rinder? 272 00:17:33,036 --> 00:17:35,040 Look, let's just call it a day, go to your party, 273 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,008 we'll have a spring roll. It's not my party, is it? 274 00:17:38,008 --> 00:17:40,096 It's my mum's party. And she's only throwing it so that 275 00:17:40,096 --> 00:17:43,044 she can pretend to all of her friends that everything's 276 00:17:43,044 --> 00:17:45,032 bloody brilliant without Dad. 277 00:17:45,032 --> 00:17:47,076 Well, yeah, it's still a bit shit to do a runner. 278 00:17:47,076 --> 00:17:49,088 Oh, I get it. Of course. 279 00:17:49,088 --> 00:17:52,040 You just want to go back and bone that waiter. 280 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,032 Why are you being a dick? 281 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:57,008 Just give me the brush. No. This is an intervention. 282 00:17:57,008 --> 00:17:58,088 Just give me the brush. No! 283 00:17:59,096 --> 00:18:01,000 Fine. 284 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:07,044 Give me the brush. No! It's my brush! It's my brush! 285 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:10,044 I want the brush, Cathy. No, get off it! Give me the brush! 286 00:18:10,044 --> 00:18:12,020 Ow, ow! What is wrong with you? 287 00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:15,096 Give it to me. Mad, mad! Cathy! 288 00:18:15,096 --> 00:18:17,088 Get away! Urgh! 289 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,052 Come back! No. 290 00:18:20,052 --> 00:18:22,004 Just give me my brush. No. 291 00:18:22,004 --> 00:18:23,092 Catherine Walcott, come back here now. 292 00:18:23,092 --> 00:18:25,048 No! No! 293 00:18:27,036 --> 00:18:30,052 Let me in! This is for your own good, Cathy. 294 00:18:30,052 --> 00:18:32,092 Grrr! Go away. You're mental. What is wrong with you? 295 00:18:32,092 --> 00:18:34,092 Urgh! 296 00:18:34,092 --> 00:18:37,016 Crazy woman! 297 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,076 Urgh! You need help! 298 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,084 It's me. You still at the party? 299 00:18:52,088 --> 00:18:54,040 Marcus. Argh! 300 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,068 Dad, you gave me a shock. 301 00:18:57,076 --> 00:19:00,004 I'm going to ask you a question. No, I'm OK. 302 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,016 We have an expression in surgery... 303 00:19:08,044 --> 00:19:10,008 ..As hire As, 304 00:19:10,008 --> 00:19:13,004 and Bs hire Cs. 305 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:16,096 Basically, brilliant people surround themselves with 306 00:19:16,096 --> 00:19:19,028 other brilliant people in order to succeed. 307 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:25,020 Whereas, those on the rung below, the Bs, they feel threatened 308 00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:28,068 and so hire even worse people to make themselves look good. 309 00:19:28,068 --> 00:19:31,020 Oh, yes, I listened to a Freakonomics podcast... 310 00:19:31,020 --> 00:19:34,040 No, there isn't an equivalent down in general practice because, 311 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,048 basically, it's one guy in a cupboard diagnosing sniffles, 312 00:19:37,048 --> 00:19:39,000 whereas, up in surgery, 313 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,004 where it's literally a matter of life and death, 314 00:19:42,004 --> 00:19:44,088 you have to have complete trust in your team. 315 00:19:44,088 --> 00:19:48,024 I'd like to think that I save the odd one. What I'm getting at is... 316 00:19:50,008 --> 00:19:52,084 ..truthfully, what letter is Cathy? 317 00:19:54,032 --> 00:19:56,072 A - definitely. 318 00:19:58,092 --> 00:20:02,012 There you go. I guess that's where love differs from surgery. 319 00:20:03,056 --> 00:20:05,088 She must really love you. 320 00:20:05,088 --> 00:20:07,016 Yeah, she does. 321 00:20:12,008 --> 00:20:14,012 Ugh, God, I need a whisky. 322 00:20:14,012 --> 00:20:15,096 This cheap champagne's revolting. 323 00:20:17,052 --> 00:20:19,024 Where the fuck is your mother? 324 00:20:31,032 --> 00:20:34,012 Catherine Walcott, you'd better have a very good excuse 325 00:20:34,012 --> 00:20:36,036 for why you're not at that hotel. 326 00:20:39,056 --> 00:20:40,084 She's downstairs. 327 00:20:52,028 --> 00:20:53,032 What's going on? 328 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,032 Cat took my brush. 329 00:20:58,032 --> 00:21:00,028 I just need to finish the wall. 330 00:21:10,092 --> 00:21:13,064 # It's raining so hard 331 00:21:14,076 --> 00:21:18,028 # Looks like it's going to rain all night 332 00:21:19,092 --> 00:21:23,004 # And this is the time 333 00:21:23,004 --> 00:21:26,032 # I'd love to be holding you tight... # 334 00:21:26,032 --> 00:21:27,096 What are you doing? 335 00:21:27,096 --> 00:21:29,040 What does it look like I'm doing? 336 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,096 I'm not going to let some wall ruin your honeymoon. 337 00:21:37,008 --> 00:21:39,044 Gosh, that is very good value for Dulux. 338 00:21:50,088 --> 00:21:55,096 Can I just ask, are you sure you didn't see anything earlier? 339 00:21:55,096 --> 00:21:57,092 You know, when I was peeing? 340 00:21:59,004 --> 00:22:00,044 Not a sausage. 341 00:22:01,064 --> 00:22:03,048 Would it even matter if I did? 342 00:22:03,048 --> 00:22:04,064 I know, but... 343 00:22:06,016 --> 00:22:07,056 ..it's just I have this... 344 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,060 ..weird fear of being seen naked. 345 00:22:10,060 --> 00:22:13,080 I've had it since I was a teenager. I... 346 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,068 I shower in a bathing suit. 347 00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:19,064 But you've got a great bod! No, I don't. 348 00:22:19,064 --> 00:22:21,004 But thank you. 349 00:22:22,092 --> 00:22:25,000 I've got this thing about the outdoors. 350 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,060 I can barely leave the house. 351 00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:29,092 Oh. God, what is wrong with us? 352 00:22:30,092 --> 00:22:34,016 Cheers For Fears! Oh! I love that band. 353 00:22:35,076 --> 00:22:39,004 Cheers. Cheers. Mm. Mm. 354 00:22:39,004 --> 00:22:43,024 Come to think of it, I got off with the drummer once. No. 355 00:22:43,024 --> 00:22:46,056 He had a massive... I've been looking for you for 20 minutes. 356 00:22:46,056 --> 00:22:48,008 I'm off to bed. Come on. 357 00:22:48,008 --> 00:22:50,024 I'm going to stay here, actually. 358 00:22:50,024 --> 00:22:53,056 I beg your pardon? I'm going to stay here with my friend Marilyn. 359 00:22:53,056 --> 00:22:56,008 She's on the same floor. Fine. 360 00:22:56,008 --> 00:22:57,012 Don't wake me up. 361 00:23:01,076 --> 00:23:03,012 ..cock. 362 00:23:08,028 --> 00:23:09,072 Good job well done, that. 363 00:23:09,072 --> 00:23:11,064 And I didn't mess up my dress. 364 00:23:11,064 --> 00:23:16,052 Right, you go up and have a shower and I'll clean up down here. 365 00:23:16,052 --> 00:23:19,028 Mum, can you stay in my room tonight? 366 00:23:19,028 --> 00:23:22,040 Of course I will. Which means you can stay in my room 367 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,024 if you like, Cat. Oh, no, I'm good. I'm out of here. 368 00:23:26,036 --> 00:23:29,008 Love you, you knobhead. Love you. 369 00:23:32,032 --> 00:23:33,036 Thank you... 370 00:23:34,072 --> 00:23:37,032 ..for calling. And for staying. 371 00:23:37,032 --> 00:23:39,044 And I'm...I'm sorry about earlier. 372 00:23:40,092 --> 00:23:42,004 It's family, innit? 373 00:23:43,004 --> 00:23:46,056 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got an extremely horny hot waiter 374 00:23:46,056 --> 00:23:48,020 waiting for me in the hotel room. 375 00:23:51,064 --> 00:23:54,064 Just to the third tree and back, OK? Hmm. OK. OK. 376 00:23:54,064 --> 00:23:56,028 Fear is not the boss of us. 377 00:23:57,032 --> 00:23:58,052 Ready? 378 00:24:02,020 --> 00:24:04,032 You're naked! 379 00:24:04,032 --> 00:24:06,088 And I'm outdoors! 380 00:24:06,088 --> 00:24:08,044 Mishti? 381 00:24:11,024 --> 00:24:12,040 Mishti! 382 00:24:26,092 --> 00:24:29,048 Shit. Shit! 383 00:24:29,048 --> 00:24:31,040 Get out of bed. 384 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,012 Why didn't you set the alarm? 385 00:24:33,012 --> 00:24:35,012 Oh, you have the first shower. 386 00:24:35,012 --> 00:24:37,000 I can make do with a hooker's flannel. 387 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,056 Come on. 388 00:24:38,056 --> 00:24:40,068 We haven't got time for this. 389 00:24:40,068 --> 00:24:42,008 I don't think I love Marcus. 390 00:24:44,072 --> 00:24:47,048 Why didn't you say something before? 391 00:24:47,048 --> 00:24:50,008 I guess the wedding was the only thing keeping you going 392 00:24:50,008 --> 00:24:52,060 and I didn't want to let you down. 393 00:25:04,032 --> 00:25:05,096 How long have you felt like this? 394 00:25:07,032 --> 00:25:08,072 A few months. 395 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,052 Maybe a year. 396 00:25:13,008 --> 00:25:15,088 Maybe longer, if I'm brutally honest. 397 00:25:15,088 --> 00:25:18,076 I'm so sorry, Mum. Don't be sorry. 398 00:25:20,028 --> 00:25:22,036 You can't marry him if you don't love him. 399 00:25:25,020 --> 00:25:28,064 I was crazy about your dad when I married him. I mean... 400 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,008 ..you know, it ended how it ended, but... 401 00:25:33,060 --> 00:25:35,048 ..I could never say I didn't love him. 402 00:25:36,084 --> 00:25:39,028 Are you sure you're not cross? 403 00:25:39,028 --> 00:25:40,052 Oh, come here. 404 00:25:47,056 --> 00:25:48,064 OK. 405 00:25:50,084 --> 00:25:54,020 We'd better cancel this fucking wedding. 406 00:26:08,028 --> 00:26:12,012 Oh, my God. Of course Marcus would be late for his own bloody wedding. 407 00:26:19,016 --> 00:26:20,020 Oh, God. 408 00:26:22,060 --> 00:26:24,036 Shit the bed! 409 00:26:27,084 --> 00:26:29,048 Did you speak to her? 410 00:26:29,048 --> 00:26:31,052 No, I texted Mum. 411 00:26:31,052 --> 00:26:33,036 I thought it was best to let the dust settle. 412 00:26:33,036 --> 00:26:35,076 Are you sure that you want to do this? 413 00:26:35,076 --> 00:26:39,032 Yes, Meredith. I realised two big things last night. 414 00:26:40,048 --> 00:26:42,080 You're the only one that loves me for being a B. 415 00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:47,004 And also, my father's a massive C. 416 00:26:47,004 --> 00:26:49,016 I don't get it. It doesn't matter. 417 00:26:50,016 --> 00:26:51,020 Come here. 418 00:26:56,092 --> 00:26:57,096 Come on. 419 00:27:03,076 --> 00:27:07,080 Cathy. Cathy, I've left you, like, a million messages. 420 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:10,068 I've... Listen, I've got to tell you something. 421 00:27:10,068 --> 00:27:13,060 He's not here. Who? Marcus. 422 00:27:13,060 --> 00:27:16,036 Marcus has just text his mum saying that he's not coming to 423 00:27:16,036 --> 00:27:18,092 the wedding. What? No. 424 00:27:18,092 --> 00:27:22,060 You're confused. I'M the one not coming to the wedding. 425 00:27:22,060 --> 00:27:25,064 Sorry, Cath, man, but I think you've been stood up at the altar. 426 00:27:25,064 --> 00:27:29,044 No. No, no, no. Me. 427 00:27:29,044 --> 00:27:31,092 I stood HIM up at the altar. 428 00:27:31,092 --> 00:27:34,040 I'm the one not coming to the wedding. 429 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,072 I'm standing HIM up! 430 00:27:36,072 --> 00:27:38,084 Grrr! 431 00:27:38,084 --> 00:27:40,020 Argh! 432 00:27:40,020 --> 00:27:43,008 # Don't you want somebody to love? 433 00:27:43,008 --> 00:27:46,060 # Don't you need somebody to love? 434 00:27:46,060 --> 00:27:50,032 # Wouldn't you love somebody to love? 435 00:27:50,032 --> 00:27:55,064 # You better find somebody to love 436 00:27:55,064 --> 00:27:56,096 # Love, love 437 00:28:03,060 --> 00:28:05,084 # When the garden flowers... # 34342