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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,012
Right. I have bleached the loo, I've
gone over the Nest login with Mum,
2
00:00:06,012 --> 00:00:10,024
I've emptied the bathroom bins,
and I have done a pee.
3
00:00:10,024 --> 00:00:14,060
Oh, and you'll need to hand-wash
that cup. Yes, I will... Wow!
4
00:00:15,084 --> 00:00:19,008
Schwing! Please don't schwing me,
Marcus!
5
00:00:19,008 --> 00:00:22,020
It's objectifying and it
makes me feel old. Sorry.
6
00:00:22,020 --> 00:00:28,036
I was just schwinging you
entirely in the spirit of
empowerment and respect.
7
00:00:28,036 --> 00:00:31,064
I'm sorry. Pre-wedding nerves.
Right.
8
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:37,004
Ms Walcott, are you ready
for your last drinks partay
as a single laday?
9
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,048
Yeah. I guess.
10
00:00:39,076 --> 00:00:41,080
Right, have you got the car keys?
Yep.
11
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:42,084
Here you go.
12
00:00:44,052 --> 00:00:46,028
Shit balls!
13
00:00:48,064 --> 00:00:50,040
Sorry.
14
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:53,000
# Dreamer
15
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,080
# You know you are a dreamer
16
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,044
# Well, can you
put your hands in your head? #
17
00:01:03,044 --> 00:01:06,048
Ambassador, with these, um...
18
00:01:06,048 --> 00:01:09,028
They're grape,
chutney and Brie crostini.
19
00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:12,092
With these Brie, chutney
and grape... I get it, Dawn.
20
00:01:12,092 --> 00:01:15,024
..grape crostini...
Yes, you don't have to finish.
21
00:01:15,024 --> 00:01:19,012
..you are really spoiling us!
Hats off! Big time!
22
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:22,016
Some more of this cava?
It's champagne.
23
00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:24,072
Make sure people know that,
and don't drink all of it!
24
00:01:24,072 --> 00:01:27,012
I want there to be some left
when Marcus' parents...
25
00:01:27,012 --> 00:01:28,084
Oh, speak of the devil!
26
00:01:29,092 --> 00:01:31,084
Shray, Mishti! Welcome, welcome.
27
00:01:31,084 --> 00:01:33,048
Mwah, mwah.
28
00:01:33,048 --> 00:01:34,052
I'm sorry we're late.
29
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:37,044
I had to perform an emergency DRC,
and it rather dragged on.
30
00:01:37,044 --> 00:01:41,000
I don't know what that is but,
boy, do I like the sound of it!
31
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:46,036
It's re-plumbing a tear duct.
Hello, I'm Dawn. I'm Tess' sister.
32
00:01:46,036 --> 00:01:51,016
It is an honour to meet you,
Dr Tandell.
33
00:01:51,016 --> 00:01:56,000
Please, call me Mr. Oh, don't
be so modest! No, I'm a surgeon.
34
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,060
The correct title is Mr.
It's a common mistake.
35
00:01:59,060 --> 00:02:03,012
It's Mr. Well, I think
I deserve a drink.
36
00:02:03,012 --> 00:02:04,088
Get me a glass, would you, darling?
37
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:13,000
So, I'm waiting with bated breath,
Mr Shray! How did the op go?
38
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,052
Well, let's just say,
39
00:02:14,052 --> 00:02:18,056
when he came around,
he wept tears of joy from both eyes.
40
00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:21,000
Oh! Excuse me.
41
00:02:28,092 --> 00:02:30,068
You've got lipstick on your teeth.
42
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,044
Hi!
43
00:02:42,044 --> 00:02:45,044
Right. Let's get you set up.
You hungry? Mm-hm.
44
00:02:45,044 --> 00:02:49,012
Do you want to watch some telly
on me phone? Mm. Oh, no, I can't.
45
00:02:49,012 --> 00:02:52,068
I'm on maid of honour duty.
I've got to be on it like a bonnet.
46
00:02:52,068 --> 00:02:57,020
What's this, cheese on toast? Kind
of, yeah. I'll save it for later.
47
00:03:05,032 --> 00:03:08,096
It's about sort of four
inches across, two inches wide...
48
00:03:08,096 --> 00:03:13,056
Oh, no, thanks. Keto diet. Oh, these
are for milady and for the bride.
49
00:03:13,056 --> 00:03:15,092
I was just picking Mr Shippen's
brains about the...
50
00:03:15,092 --> 00:03:20,040
If you call me Mr Shippen again,
I'm going to put you in detention!
51
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:25,024
Sorry! I was just picking Sir's
brains about the wall scuff.
52
00:03:25,024 --> 00:03:28,040
What you stressing about a scuff on
the wall for? It's your wedding eve!
53
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:32,056
It's annoying! I've tried putty
rubber, a damp cloth, Vanish.
54
00:03:32,056 --> 00:03:36,076
Someone told me to spit on it with
vinegar. Have you tried a baby wipe?
55
00:03:36,076 --> 00:03:38,088
I don't use baby wipes
cos of the fatbergs.
56
00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:45,036
Do you know anyone who's actually
seen a fatberg with their own eyes,
57
00:03:45,036 --> 00:03:48,028
or did you just
read about it in The Guardian?
58
00:03:49,052 --> 00:03:52,088
Don't shoot the messenger. Nige!
59
00:03:55,048 --> 00:03:56,052
Unbelievable!
60
00:03:56,052 --> 00:03:59,048
How can he be a geography teacher
and a fatberg denier?
61
00:03:59,048 --> 00:04:03,084
I thought he was one of the
good guys. Bet he voted Leave!
62
00:04:03,084 --> 00:04:04,088
Leave what?
63
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:10,000
So sorry, but do these have
dairy in them? Oh, bollocks!
64
00:04:24,036 --> 00:04:29,060
Do you need a top-up? Oh, thanks.
God, this is hellish!
65
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:32,008
You're a saint, you know,
waiting on these awful people.
66
00:04:32,008 --> 00:04:33,076
Oh!
67
00:04:33,076 --> 00:04:38,052
I don't work here. I'm a guest. Oh,
God, I'm so sorry! No, not at all.
68
00:04:40,056 --> 00:04:43,044
I don't want to be here either.
Who made you come?
69
00:04:45,024 --> 00:04:48,068
I'm the mother of the groom.
Oh. You? Oh...
70
00:04:49,072 --> 00:04:53,060
I made love to Cathy's
father for three glorious decades.
71
00:04:55,008 --> 00:04:56,012
Mm.
72
00:04:57,052 --> 00:04:59,084
And that is why you should
never trust your GP.
73
00:05:01,076 --> 00:05:02,080
Sorry, ladies.
74
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,024
Would I be able to steal the
groom for a second, please?
75
00:05:05,024 --> 00:05:07,068
Thank you. Bit of an odd one,
76
00:05:07,068 --> 00:05:10,040
but that scuff on the wall
is really bothering me,
77
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,048
and I was just wondering whether
you could nip me to the DIY store,
78
00:05:13,048 --> 00:05:16,040
and then I could just get it
out of my mind before we go away?
79
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,084
God, Cathy! I...
Hi! Hi, lovely to see you!
80
00:05:19,084 --> 00:05:22,060
It would just really
put my mind at rest. Um, look.
81
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:25,004
I'm on my third glass of fizz...
Please, Marcus!
82
00:05:26,008 --> 00:05:29,012
I don't get it.
It's just a stupid scuff.
83
00:05:29,012 --> 00:05:34,016
Let's just enjoy ourselves, hm?
Yeah. You're completely right. OK?
84
00:05:34,016 --> 00:05:35,020
Yeah, of course.
85
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:41,068
Hey! Save it for the wedding night!
Shut up, Rupert!
86
00:05:45,008 --> 00:05:46,012
Oh, come here!
87
00:05:48,084 --> 00:05:49,088
Like that.
88
00:05:56,008 --> 00:05:59,092
You know it's staff only back here?
Maid of honour - access all areas.
89
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:04,028
Yeah? All areas? All areas.
90
00:06:07,008 --> 00:06:09,028
Oh! Great job, guys.
91
00:06:09,028 --> 00:06:11,036
Just to let you know that
the mini cheeses on toast
92
00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:14,016
were absolutely disgusting!
93
00:06:14,016 --> 00:06:16,084
But, otherwise, you're nailing it.
94
00:06:25,032 --> 00:06:27,000
You, Cat!
95
00:06:28,044 --> 00:06:31,020
Do you see that girl over there,
by the cellist, yeah?
96
00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:33,084
That is Verity Longworth,
and she's a pilot.
97
00:06:34,096 --> 00:06:39,084
Verity was due to be maid of honour
until you tipped up on the scene.
98
00:06:39,084 --> 00:06:45,004
I mean, I am Cathy's sister. No!
Half-sister. You are only a half.
99
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,092
That's still 50%
more than the pilot.
100
00:06:48,052 --> 00:06:51,080
If anything goes wrong -
anything - I will blame you.
101
00:06:52,096 --> 00:06:54,020
All right, cava breath!
102
00:06:55,052 --> 00:06:56,056
It's champagne!
103
00:06:57,060 --> 00:07:01,016
And if you know your history,
said the geography teacher,
104
00:07:01,016 --> 00:07:03,056
you'd realise that all of
this is just cyclical
105
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:06,060
and there's irrefutable scientific
evidence to support it,
106
00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:08,028
and you can quote me on that.
107
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,000
Better not be sending dick pics.
108
00:07:19,096 --> 00:07:23,000
I'm messing, mate. Oh, yeah!
Ha-ha! No, no, no.
109
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,008
I'm just checking in on the BA
app for our flights tomorrow
110
00:07:26,008 --> 00:07:27,028
after the wedding. OK, cool.
111
00:07:27,028 --> 00:07:29,016
Well, I can't piss about
cos I'm on duty,
112
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:33,004
but I just wanted to give you your
wedding present. Oh! Oh, how kind!
113
00:07:33,004 --> 00:07:36,028
We actually had a John Lewis
wedding list, so... Oh!
114
00:07:38,012 --> 00:07:41,048
My sister loves you and, because
of the ancient code of sisterhood,
115
00:07:41,048 --> 00:07:47,036
I must, on this, your wedding eve,
extendeth my love to ye.
116
00:07:47,036 --> 00:07:50,052
Two Cathys for the price of one!
I don't mind if I do!
117
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,088
Don't cheapen the moment.
118
00:07:54,024 --> 00:07:57,036
No, but, seriously, treat her
like a princess, or I will post to
119
00:07:57,036 --> 00:08:01,016
all the local forums that you send
dick pics to your receptionist.
120
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,004
Have a nice night, Marcus.
121
00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:05,008
OK.
122
00:08:15,084 --> 00:08:18,024
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
123
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:27,096
I locked it. Did you see anything?
No, nothing, I swear, nothing. OK.
124
00:08:27,096 --> 00:08:30,092
To be honest, I was just
looking for somewhere to lay low.
125
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:33,084
I feel like a spare prick
at an orgy out there.
126
00:08:33,084 --> 00:08:35,032
That's one way of putting it!
127
00:08:37,008 --> 00:08:40,012
Do you fancy joining me
in the party bunker?
128
00:08:43,008 --> 00:08:46,040
Maybe just the one, huh? Bottoms up!
129
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,088
Or, as Colin used to say,
up your bottom!
130
00:08:52,092 --> 00:08:56,028
Mm! Oh, I love it
when it goes up your nose!
131
00:09:00,092 --> 00:09:05,092
Hi! Oh, enjoying the nuts - great!
Cheers! Hey, hey!
132
00:09:05,092 --> 00:09:07,076
How much have you had to drink?
Nothing, why?
133
00:09:07,076 --> 00:09:11,056
Who said I've been drinking? Huh?
No, can you drive me to a DIY store?
134
00:09:11,056 --> 00:09:12,088
There's still a free bar, babe!
135
00:09:12,088 --> 00:09:15,072
Nobody leaves until the free bar
ends, then everyone leaves at once.
136
00:09:15,072 --> 00:09:19,076
You know, I am possessed by that
scuff! It's eating away at my brain!
137
00:09:19,076 --> 00:09:23,024
And if I don't fix it tonight, then
it'll ruin my honeymoon. Please!
138
00:09:23,024 --> 00:09:26,056
We'll be there and back in
20 minutes. Fine. Come on!
139
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,080
A trolley for one tin of paint? You
never know what you're going to get!
140
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:45,084
Oh! Those boxes are... Oh, shit!
Keep walking. Well, well, well!
141
00:09:46,096 --> 00:09:48,088
If it isn't Cat Wall Cock!
142
00:09:50,036 --> 00:09:52,036
Never got called that at school?
143
00:09:52,036 --> 00:09:55,016
Well, in a netball tournament once,
someone called me Wall Clot.
144
00:09:55,016 --> 00:09:59,056
Oi, dickhead!
I'm livestreaming you. Who's this?
145
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:03,008
Your carer? Oh, sorry -
your mad mum's carer.
146
00:10:05,060 --> 00:10:08,076
Let's just go and get your stupid
paint and go back to the party.
147
00:10:13,084 --> 00:10:17,004
Oh, that is ridiculously good value
for Dulux.
148
00:10:18,048 --> 00:10:20,068
The store will be
closing in ten minutes.
149
00:10:20,068 --> 00:10:23,052
Could all customers please make
your way to the tills?
150
00:10:23,052 --> 00:10:26,040
Except for the slag in Aisle Nine
who should make HER way
151
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,036
to the jet washers, cos her
fanny stinks.
152
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,072
God's sake.
153
00:10:32,072 --> 00:10:34,056
Got this 24/7 at school.
154
00:10:34,056 --> 00:10:36,036
Why didn't someone say something?
155
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,064
Snitches get stitches.
156
00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:40,080
And besides, Mum was housebound
157
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:43,000
and Dad wouldn't be seen in
public with me.
158
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,032
Come on, let's just go.
159
00:11:00,032 --> 00:11:01,044
You all right? Yeah.
160
00:11:11,028 --> 00:11:13,028
I'm just going to take
the trolley back.
161
00:11:22,064 --> 00:11:24,048
Yo! Melanie, hi.
162
00:11:24,048 --> 00:11:29,016
Uh, quick question - are you aware
of the TV show Secret Millionaire?
163
00:11:29,016 --> 00:11:30,080
Yeah. Why?
164
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:34,092
Great. Well, you see Catherine
Walcott out there? Yeah?
165
00:11:34,092 --> 00:11:38,064
Well, she has just inherited
this entire empire
166
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:42,088
from a childless uncle, and she was
about to give you a cheque
167
00:11:42,088 --> 00:11:46,068
for �22,000.
168
00:11:46,068 --> 00:11:49,008
But because of what you did back
there, well...
169
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:51,048
..you blew it.
170
00:11:51,048 --> 00:11:53,080
So, joke's on you.
171
00:11:54,084 --> 00:11:58,072
Cat Walcott is a mad fantasist who
pretended her dad was
172
00:11:58,072 --> 00:12:01,080
a roadie for Nickelback rather than
admit he'd done a runner.
173
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,084
Now, can you leave the store,
please? We're closing soon.
174
00:12:06,084 --> 00:12:09,044
You want to get a takeaway tonight?
Yeah, why not, eh?
175
00:12:09,044 --> 00:12:11,000
Maybe Wall Cock will deliver it.
176
00:12:14,056 --> 00:12:19,036
Nobody calls my sister Wall Cock,
you messy, messy bitch!
177
00:12:25,052 --> 00:12:27,044
Oh, my God!
178
00:12:27,044 --> 00:12:30,044
Quick! Shit. Oh, my God.
179
00:12:30,044 --> 00:12:31,072
Quick. Come on.
180
00:12:33,076 --> 00:12:34,088
You're barred!
181
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,000
Oh, my God, I can't believe
I did that.
182
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,060
Oh, shit. Do you think they got it
on CCTV?
183
00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:45,068
God, yes, I hope so.
184
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:47,016
God, seriously, cheers, Cath.
185
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:50,040
You know, I've wanted to do that
since I was 11.
186
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,072
Oh, is that my mum? Oh...
187
00:12:54,084 --> 00:12:57,012
Hot waiter. Oh, is it a dick pic?
188
00:12:57,012 --> 00:12:58,084
I really don't want to see a penis.
189
00:12:58,084 --> 00:13:02,016
Yeah, I bet you're sick of them
after what Marcus did.
190
00:13:02,016 --> 00:13:05,032
How do you know about that?
Why didn't you say something?
191
00:13:05,032 --> 00:13:07,008
Why didn't you say something to me?
192
00:13:08,028 --> 00:13:10,068
I mean, he's changed.
193
00:13:10,068 --> 00:13:12,020
He really is a good man.
194
00:13:15,096 --> 00:13:17,024
You know, what can you do?
195
00:13:21,024 --> 00:13:23,096
Do you think they've even noticed
we're missing? Hmm.
196
00:13:23,096 --> 00:13:26,044
I bet that Tess is still up
Shray's arse, eh?
197
00:13:26,044 --> 00:13:29,096
Am I being paranoid, but do you
think she doesn't like me?
198
00:13:29,096 --> 00:13:32,040
Ooh!
199
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,080
Yeah, I can see why she might be
a bit off with you.
200
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,036
You're goddamn gorgeous, you're fun
201
00:13:37,036 --> 00:13:39,080
and you're your own woman.
202
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:43,000
Not because I've been shagging her
husband for a year. Hmm!
203
00:13:47,036 --> 00:13:51,072
Oh. Mm. Aw. Does it get any easier,
the loss?
204
00:13:53,016 --> 00:13:57,052
No. Just think I'm getting
used to the feeling.
205
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:02,080
Everything feels a little bit
smaller and darker
206
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,008
without him, but...
207
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,072
..better to have loved
and lost and...
208
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:12,096
One in the hand is worth two up
your bush... What...?
209
00:14:12,096 --> 00:14:17,012
Oh, I think you might need another
drink, my love.
210
00:14:19,064 --> 00:14:22,048
Are you serious? You got me all
the way over here for that?
211
00:14:23,052 --> 00:14:26,024
Why would you wrap a plastic
sheet in more plastic?
212
00:14:26,024 --> 00:14:28,052
It's probably going to end up
in a dolphin's lung,
213
00:14:28,052 --> 00:14:30,004
do you know what I mean?
214
00:14:30,004 --> 00:14:32,036
I bet Mr Shippen doesn't even
believe in plastic.
215
00:14:32,036 --> 00:14:34,088
He's got enough of it injected
in his face.
216
00:14:34,088 --> 00:14:37,004
Balls!
217
00:14:37,004 --> 00:14:39,008
I must've picked up
the wrong colour.
218
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,068
I wanted Natural Calico,
219
00:14:40,068 --> 00:14:43,084
and this is bloody Mineral Mist.
Great, wicked. Well, just put
220
00:14:43,084 --> 00:14:46,028
the lid back on and you can take it
back after your honeymoon.
221
00:14:46,028 --> 00:14:48,064
Cathy, we really need to get our
skates on,
222
00:14:48,064 --> 00:14:51,016
otherwise we're going to miss
the speeches.
223
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:53,064
Do you know what? I'm going to have
to paint the whole wall.
224
00:14:53,064 --> 00:14:56,076
Ugh. I'd rather have a whole blue
wall than think about
225
00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:58,008
that scuff on my honeymoon.
226
00:14:58,008 --> 00:15:01,028
Are you serious? Come on.
The quicker we get this done,
227
00:15:01,028 --> 00:15:03,056
the quicker we can go back to
the party. OK.
228
00:15:08,052 --> 00:15:12,012
What? I'm not messing up that dress.
It's from Boohoo.
229
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:16,068
OK, so, I really just wanted to
230
00:15:16,068 --> 00:15:20,024
welcome you all here to our
little soiree.
231
00:15:20,024 --> 00:15:26,060
And, in particular, Mr Shray Tandell
and his lovely wife Misty.
232
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:29,044
Did she just call me "Misty"?
233
00:15:29,044 --> 00:15:32,044
Now, if you don't mind, I am going
to hijack the mic
234
00:15:32,044 --> 00:15:34,008
just for a couple of secs.
235
00:15:34,008 --> 00:15:37,040
Sex. I'd like some sex.
236
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,000
Erm, yeah.
237
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:44,096
So, as many of you know, this past
six months has been
238
00:15:44,096 --> 00:15:48,068
something of a demi-annus horribilis
for us.
239
00:15:48,068 --> 00:15:51,056
And, erm, it is true what they say,
240
00:15:51,056 --> 00:15:55,012
that you really find out who your
friends are when
241
00:15:55,012 --> 00:15:57,020
ca va chier dans le ventilo.
242
00:15:59,036 --> 00:16:03,012
Erm... You'll pardon my French
pronunciation.
243
00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:07,044
So, really I just wanted to thank
you all for being
244
00:16:07,044 --> 00:16:09,064
bloody great mates.
245
00:16:09,064 --> 00:16:12,024
And for all the lasagnes.
246
00:16:12,024 --> 00:16:15,052
Most of which were home-made.
247
00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:17,008
Mine was.
248
00:16:17,008 --> 00:16:20,048
But I would like to thank two
people in particular,
249
00:16:20,048 --> 00:16:24,060
erm, Cathy and Marcus.
250
00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:28,092
Ever since my ex left us,
251
00:16:28,092 --> 00:16:33,028
those two have been a pair of
absolute megastars.
252
00:16:33,028 --> 00:16:36,056
Aw! So, I personally would
like to thank
253
00:16:36,056 --> 00:16:39,020
my beloved daughter Catherine
254
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:42,048
and her rock, and mine, Marcus.
255
00:16:42,048 --> 00:16:44,068
So, come on up, guys.
Come on and be thanked.
256
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:50,064
Where's...where's Cathy? Is she...?
Cathy? Come on. Don't be shy.
257
00:16:50,064 --> 00:16:52,084
Cathy? Cathy?
258
00:16:53,088 --> 00:16:56,056
Anybody seen Cathy? I'm not sure.
259
00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:58,056
Well, let's...let's have a toast.
260
00:16:58,056 --> 00:17:02,012
A toast to the future
Mr and Mrs Tandell.
261
00:17:02,012 --> 00:17:04,096
Dr - he's a long way
from being a Mr.
262
00:17:06,036 --> 00:17:10,084
To the future Dr and Mrs Tandell,
wherever she may be.
263
00:17:10,084 --> 00:17:12,056
So, to love.
264
00:17:12,056 --> 00:17:14,000
To love.
265
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,008
Cathy, what are you doing?
266
00:17:17,008 --> 00:17:19,060
Well, this wall isn't going to match
that wall now, is it?
267
00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:23,016
Cathy, stop. Call it weird sister
telepathical shit,
268
00:17:23,016 --> 00:17:24,048
but is this about your wedding?
269
00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:28,052
No. This is about an unfortunate
scuff on the wall
270
00:17:28,052 --> 00:17:31,032
and the subsequent rectification
of said scuff.
271
00:17:31,032 --> 00:17:33,036
Why are you talking like
Judge Rinder?
272
00:17:33,036 --> 00:17:35,040
Look, let's just call it a day,
go to your party,
273
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,008
we'll have a spring roll.
It's not my party, is it?
274
00:17:38,008 --> 00:17:40,096
It's my mum's party. And she's only
throwing it so that
275
00:17:40,096 --> 00:17:43,044
she can pretend to all of her
friends that everything's
276
00:17:43,044 --> 00:17:45,032
bloody brilliant without Dad.
277
00:17:45,032 --> 00:17:47,076
Well, yeah, it's still a bit
shit to do a runner.
278
00:17:47,076 --> 00:17:49,088
Oh, I get it. Of course.
279
00:17:49,088 --> 00:17:52,040
You just want to go back
and bone that waiter.
280
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,032
Why are you being a dick?
281
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:57,008
Just give me the brush. No.
This is an intervention.
282
00:17:57,008 --> 00:17:58,088
Just give me the brush. No!
283
00:17:59,096 --> 00:18:01,000
Fine.
284
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:07,044
Give me the brush. No! It's my
brush! It's my brush!
285
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:10,044
I want the brush, Cathy. No, get off
it! Give me the brush!
286
00:18:10,044 --> 00:18:12,020
Ow, ow! What is wrong with you?
287
00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:15,096
Give it to me. Mad, mad! Cathy!
288
00:18:15,096 --> 00:18:17,088
Get away! Urgh!
289
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,052
Come back! No.
290
00:18:20,052 --> 00:18:22,004
Just give me my brush. No.
291
00:18:22,004 --> 00:18:23,092
Catherine Walcott, come back
here now.
292
00:18:23,092 --> 00:18:25,048
No! No!
293
00:18:27,036 --> 00:18:30,052
Let me in! This is for your
own good, Cathy.
294
00:18:30,052 --> 00:18:32,092
Grrr! Go away. You're mental.
What is wrong with you?
295
00:18:32,092 --> 00:18:34,092
Urgh!
296
00:18:34,092 --> 00:18:37,016
Crazy woman!
297
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,076
Urgh! You need help!
298
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,084
It's me. You still
at the party?
299
00:18:52,088 --> 00:18:54,040
Marcus. Argh!
300
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,068
Dad, you gave me a shock.
301
00:18:57,076 --> 00:19:00,004
I'm going to ask you a question.
No, I'm OK.
302
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,016
We have an expression in surgery...
303
00:19:08,044 --> 00:19:10,008
..As hire As,
304
00:19:10,008 --> 00:19:13,004
and Bs hire Cs.
305
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:16,096
Basically, brilliant people
surround themselves with
306
00:19:16,096 --> 00:19:19,028
other brilliant people in order
to succeed.
307
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:25,020
Whereas, those on the rung below,
the Bs, they feel threatened
308
00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:28,068
and so hire even worse people to
make themselves look good.
309
00:19:28,068 --> 00:19:31,020
Oh, yes, I listened to
a Freakonomics podcast...
310
00:19:31,020 --> 00:19:34,040
No, there isn't an equivalent down
in general practice because,
311
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,048
basically, it's one guy in
a cupboard diagnosing sniffles,
312
00:19:37,048 --> 00:19:39,000
whereas, up in surgery,
313
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,004
where it's literally a matter of
life and death,
314
00:19:42,004 --> 00:19:44,088
you have to have
complete trust in your team.
315
00:19:44,088 --> 00:19:48,024
I'd like to think that I save the
odd one. What I'm getting at is...
316
00:19:50,008 --> 00:19:52,084
..truthfully, what letter is Cathy?
317
00:19:54,032 --> 00:19:56,072
A - definitely.
318
00:19:58,092 --> 00:20:02,012
There you go. I guess that's where
love differs from surgery.
319
00:20:03,056 --> 00:20:05,088
She must really love you.
320
00:20:05,088 --> 00:20:07,016
Yeah, she does.
321
00:20:12,008 --> 00:20:14,012
Ugh, God, I need a whisky.
322
00:20:14,012 --> 00:20:15,096
This cheap champagne's revolting.
323
00:20:17,052 --> 00:20:19,024
Where the fuck is your mother?
324
00:20:31,032 --> 00:20:34,012
Catherine Walcott, you'd better have
a very good excuse
325
00:20:34,012 --> 00:20:36,036
for why you're not at that hotel.
326
00:20:39,056 --> 00:20:40,084
She's downstairs.
327
00:20:52,028 --> 00:20:53,032
What's going on?
328
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,032
Cat took my brush.
329
00:20:58,032 --> 00:21:00,028
I just need to finish the wall.
330
00:21:10,092 --> 00:21:13,064
# It's raining so hard
331
00:21:14,076 --> 00:21:18,028
# Looks like it's going to
rain all night
332
00:21:19,092 --> 00:21:23,004
# And this is the time
333
00:21:23,004 --> 00:21:26,032
# I'd love to be holding
you tight... #
334
00:21:26,032 --> 00:21:27,096
What are you doing?
335
00:21:27,096 --> 00:21:29,040
What does it look like I'm doing?
336
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,096
I'm not going to let some wall
ruin your honeymoon.
337
00:21:37,008 --> 00:21:39,044
Gosh, that is very good value
for Dulux.
338
00:21:50,088 --> 00:21:55,096
Can I just ask, are you sure you
didn't see anything earlier?
339
00:21:55,096 --> 00:21:57,092
You know, when I was peeing?
340
00:21:59,004 --> 00:22:00,044
Not a sausage.
341
00:22:01,064 --> 00:22:03,048
Would it even matter if I did?
342
00:22:03,048 --> 00:22:04,064
I know, but...
343
00:22:06,016 --> 00:22:07,056
..it's just I have this...
344
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,060
..weird fear of being seen naked.
345
00:22:10,060 --> 00:22:13,080
I've had it since I was
a teenager. I...
346
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,068
I shower in a bathing suit.
347
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:19,064
But you've got a great bod!
No, I don't.
348
00:22:19,064 --> 00:22:21,004
But thank you.
349
00:22:22,092 --> 00:22:25,000
I've got this thing about
the outdoors.
350
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,060
I can barely leave the house.
351
00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:29,092
Oh. God, what is wrong with us?
352
00:22:30,092 --> 00:22:34,016
Cheers For Fears! Oh!
I love that band.
353
00:22:35,076 --> 00:22:39,004
Cheers. Cheers. Mm. Mm.
354
00:22:39,004 --> 00:22:43,024
Come to think of it, I got off with
the drummer once. No.
355
00:22:43,024 --> 00:22:46,056
He had a massive... I've been
looking for you for 20 minutes.
356
00:22:46,056 --> 00:22:48,008
I'm off to bed. Come on.
357
00:22:48,008 --> 00:22:50,024
I'm going to stay here, actually.
358
00:22:50,024 --> 00:22:53,056
I beg your pardon? I'm going to stay
here with my friend Marilyn.
359
00:22:53,056 --> 00:22:56,008
She's on the same floor. Fine.
360
00:22:56,008 --> 00:22:57,012
Don't wake me up.
361
00:23:01,076 --> 00:23:03,012
..cock.
362
00:23:08,028 --> 00:23:09,072
Good job well done, that.
363
00:23:09,072 --> 00:23:11,064
And I didn't mess up my dress.
364
00:23:11,064 --> 00:23:16,052
Right, you go up and have a shower
and I'll clean up down here.
365
00:23:16,052 --> 00:23:19,028
Mum, can you stay in my room
tonight?
366
00:23:19,028 --> 00:23:22,040
Of course I will. Which means you
can stay in my room
367
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,024
if you like, Cat. Oh, no, I'm good.
I'm out of here.
368
00:23:26,036 --> 00:23:29,008
Love you, you knobhead. Love you.
369
00:23:32,032 --> 00:23:33,036
Thank you...
370
00:23:34,072 --> 00:23:37,032
..for calling. And for staying.
371
00:23:37,032 --> 00:23:39,044
And I'm...I'm sorry about earlier.
372
00:23:40,092 --> 00:23:42,004
It's family, innit?
373
00:23:43,004 --> 00:23:46,056
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got
an extremely horny hot waiter
374
00:23:46,056 --> 00:23:48,020
waiting for me in the hotel room.
375
00:23:51,064 --> 00:23:54,064
Just to the third tree and back,
OK? Hmm. OK. OK.
376
00:23:54,064 --> 00:23:56,028
Fear is not the boss of us.
377
00:23:57,032 --> 00:23:58,052
Ready?
378
00:24:02,020 --> 00:24:04,032
You're naked!
379
00:24:04,032 --> 00:24:06,088
And I'm outdoors!
380
00:24:06,088 --> 00:24:08,044
Mishti?
381
00:24:11,024 --> 00:24:12,040
Mishti!
382
00:24:26,092 --> 00:24:29,048
Shit. Shit!
383
00:24:29,048 --> 00:24:31,040
Get out of bed.
384
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,012
Why didn't you set the alarm?
385
00:24:33,012 --> 00:24:35,012
Oh, you have the first shower.
386
00:24:35,012 --> 00:24:37,000
I can make do with a hooker's
flannel.
387
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,056
Come on.
388
00:24:38,056 --> 00:24:40,068
We haven't got time for this.
389
00:24:40,068 --> 00:24:42,008
I don't think I love Marcus.
390
00:24:44,072 --> 00:24:47,048
Why didn't you
say something before?
391
00:24:47,048 --> 00:24:50,008
I guess the wedding was the only
thing keeping you going
392
00:24:50,008 --> 00:24:52,060
and I didn't want to let you down.
393
00:25:04,032 --> 00:25:05,096
How long have you felt like this?
394
00:25:07,032 --> 00:25:08,072
A few months.
395
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,052
Maybe a year.
396
00:25:13,008 --> 00:25:15,088
Maybe longer, if I'm brutally
honest.
397
00:25:15,088 --> 00:25:18,076
I'm so sorry, Mum. Don't be sorry.
398
00:25:20,028 --> 00:25:22,036
You can't marry him if
you don't love him.
399
00:25:25,020 --> 00:25:28,064
I was crazy about your dad when
I married him. I mean...
400
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,008
..you know, it ended how
it ended, but...
401
00:25:33,060 --> 00:25:35,048
..I could never say
I didn't love him.
402
00:25:36,084 --> 00:25:39,028
Are you sure you're not cross?
403
00:25:39,028 --> 00:25:40,052
Oh, come here.
404
00:25:47,056 --> 00:25:48,064
OK.
405
00:25:50,084 --> 00:25:54,020
We'd better cancel this
fucking wedding.
406
00:26:08,028 --> 00:26:12,012
Oh, my God. Of course Marcus would
be late for his own bloody wedding.
407
00:26:19,016 --> 00:26:20,020
Oh, God.
408
00:26:22,060 --> 00:26:24,036
Shit the bed!
409
00:26:27,084 --> 00:26:29,048
Did you speak to her?
410
00:26:29,048 --> 00:26:31,052
No, I texted Mum.
411
00:26:31,052 --> 00:26:33,036
I thought it was best to let
the dust settle.
412
00:26:33,036 --> 00:26:35,076
Are you sure that you
want to do this?
413
00:26:35,076 --> 00:26:39,032
Yes, Meredith. I realised two big
things last night.
414
00:26:40,048 --> 00:26:42,080
You're the only one that loves me
for being a B.
415
00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:47,004
And also, my father's a massive C.
416
00:26:47,004 --> 00:26:49,016
I don't get it. It doesn't matter.
417
00:26:50,016 --> 00:26:51,020
Come here.
418
00:26:56,092 --> 00:26:57,096
Come on.
419
00:27:03,076 --> 00:27:07,080
Cathy. Cathy, I've left you,
like, a million messages.
420
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:10,068
I've... Listen, I've got to
tell you something.
421
00:27:10,068 --> 00:27:13,060
He's not here. Who? Marcus.
422
00:27:13,060 --> 00:27:16,036
Marcus has just text his mum saying
that he's not coming to
423
00:27:16,036 --> 00:27:18,092
the wedding. What? No.
424
00:27:18,092 --> 00:27:22,060
You're confused. I'M the one not
coming to the wedding.
425
00:27:22,060 --> 00:27:25,064
Sorry, Cath, man, but I think you've
been stood up at the altar.
426
00:27:25,064 --> 00:27:29,044
No. No, no, no. Me.
427
00:27:29,044 --> 00:27:31,092
I stood HIM up at the altar.
428
00:27:31,092 --> 00:27:34,040
I'm the one not coming to
the wedding.
429
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,072
I'm standing HIM up!
430
00:27:36,072 --> 00:27:38,084
Grrr!
431
00:27:38,084 --> 00:27:40,020
Argh!
432
00:27:40,020 --> 00:27:43,008
# Don't you want somebody to love?
433
00:27:43,008 --> 00:27:46,060
# Don't you need somebody to love?
434
00:27:46,060 --> 00:27:50,032
# Wouldn't you love somebody
to love?
435
00:27:50,032 --> 00:27:55,064
# You better find somebody to love
436
00:27:55,064 --> 00:27:56,096
# Love, love
437
00:28:03,060 --> 00:28:05,084
# When the garden flowers... #
34342
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