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1
00:00:14,739 --> 00:00:15,729
Damn!
2
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:17,537
Kelso misses another one.
3
00:00:17,610 --> 00:00:19,842
I believe that's H-O-R.
4
00:00:19,914 --> 00:00:21,849
You are a whore.
5
00:00:23,755 --> 00:00:25,621
No, the game is Horse.
6
00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:30,091
Okay. You know what, Michael?
I'm gonna go home.
7
00:00:30,166 --> 00:00:31,532
I'm gonna do my homework.
8
00:00:31,602 --> 00:00:33,798
You do your homework
on a Saturday night?
9
00:00:33,872 --> 00:00:34,965
Yeah.
10
00:00:36,043 --> 00:00:37,204
Look, I mean, look at me.
11
00:00:37,278 --> 00:00:39,942
I've got a 1,000-word
term paper due Monday...
12
00:00:40,016 --> 00:00:41,245
but you don't see me sweating.
13
00:00:41,319 --> 00:00:44,689
- I've got a whole crappy Sunday to do it.
- Jackie, don't go home.
14
00:00:44,758 --> 00:00:47,091
I mean, Steve Martin's hosting
Saturday Night.
15
00:00:47,162 --> 00:00:48,722
I hate that show, okay?
16
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:52,362
They have commercials that you think
are real but they're not real.
17
00:00:52,939 --> 00:00:54,703
And then you wanna buy the stuff.
18
00:00:56,211 --> 00:00:58,443
Okay. See you, Michael.
19
00:01:00,585 --> 00:01:03,284
Bye! Bye-bye!
Shut up.
20
00:01:05,461 --> 00:01:08,432
Kelso, Jackie does her homework
on Saturday night.
21
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,098
That's so hip.
22
00:01:10,169 --> 00:01:12,365
You guys don't have to worry
about Jackie anymore...
23
00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:13,771
'cause I'm breaking up with her.
24
00:01:15,412 --> 00:01:17,813
We are so tired of hearing you say that.
25
00:01:18,484 --> 00:01:20,852
No. I am. I'm breaking up with her.
26
00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:22,522
Yeah, when?
27
00:01:22,991 --> 00:01:24,858
I'm picking my moment.
28
00:01:25,462 --> 00:01:27,021
Where's Fez?
29
00:01:29,569 --> 00:01:31,596
Make that shot, whore.
30
00:01:36,415 --> 00:01:38,510
Hanging out
31
00:01:40,088 --> 00:01:42,024
Down the street
32
00:01:43,861 --> 00:01:46,161
The same old thing
33
00:01:47,501 --> 00:01:49,869
We did last week
34
00:01:50,740 --> 00:01:54,042
Not a thing to do
35
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:58,080
But talk to you
36
00:01:58,187 --> 00:02:00,749
Whoa, yeah.
37
00:02:02,561 --> 00:02:04,690
Hello, Wisconsin!
38
00:02:19,024 --> 00:02:23,794
Now, aren't the waffles
extra delicious this wonderful morning?
39
00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:25,796
Did you quit smoking again?
40
00:02:27,038 --> 00:02:29,133
And why do you ask, little one?
41
00:02:29,209 --> 00:02:31,371
You're talking like Snow White,
so I figured...
42
00:02:31,445 --> 00:02:32,504
Eric!
43
00:02:32,581 --> 00:02:35,416
Which is great, I really want you to quit.
44
00:02:35,486 --> 00:02:37,581
I should've quit a long time ago.
45
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,822
I'm a nurse. I know better. More sausage?
46
00:02:42,699 --> 00:02:43,997
I'll get it.
47
00:02:45,203 --> 00:02:46,192
Hello?
48
00:02:47,273 --> 00:02:50,108
That's too bad.
49
00:02:51,013 --> 00:02:53,245
Sure. Be glad to.
50
00:02:54,185 --> 00:02:58,215
Yeah. See you soon. Goodbye.
51
00:03:00,463 --> 00:03:02,456
- Who was that, dear?
- My mother.
52
00:03:02,534 --> 00:03:04,400
Seems like...
53
00:03:04,470 --> 00:03:07,032
Uncle Paul broke his ankle...
54
00:03:07,743 --> 00:03:09,769
and she's going to church with us today.
55
00:03:10,113 --> 00:03:11,240
No, she's not.
56
00:03:12,351 --> 00:03:16,085
- It's Paul's turn to take her.
- Like I said, he broke his ankle.
57
00:03:16,157 --> 00:03:18,092
Broken ankle, whatever. It's his turn.
58
00:03:19,429 --> 00:03:22,458
- Kitty, the man is injured.
- Okay. That is just great.
59
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:26,899
I will just take a chicken
out of the freezer...
60
00:03:28,312 --> 00:03:30,578
because queen Bernice...
61
00:03:31,752 --> 00:03:33,584
doesn't like ham.
62
00:03:33,654 --> 00:03:37,423
Okay, look, I'll just call her
and tell her we can't make it.
63
00:03:37,495 --> 00:03:41,366
Red. You know who'll get blamed for that.
64
00:03:41,435 --> 00:03:43,233
Why should she blame you?
She's my mother.
65
00:03:43,304 --> 00:03:45,331
Something she never lets me forget.
66
00:03:46,944 --> 00:03:48,971
Look, you could tell her
I'm sick or something.
67
00:03:49,049 --> 00:03:50,347
Eric, go upstairs...
68
00:03:50,418 --> 00:03:52,785
and put on that shirt
your grandmother gave you.
69
00:03:52,854 --> 00:03:55,518
Eric, just stay there.
Your mother is just being ridiculous.
70
00:03:55,593 --> 00:03:58,894
You know what's ridiculous, is
giving your mother our phone number.
71
00:04:00,268 --> 00:04:03,707
- What's being ridiculous is...
- Hold it.
72
00:04:03,774 --> 00:04:06,939
Hold it. Now, look...
73
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,846
let's just stay calm.
74
00:04:10,286 --> 00:04:13,985
Mom, if it'll help you out,
I'll hang out with Grandma...
75
00:04:14,058 --> 00:04:16,051
so she'll leave you alone.
76
00:04:16,997 --> 00:04:18,431
What do you say?
77
00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:23,405
First of all, Eric,
I'm the one who says "hold it."
78
00:04:23,809 --> 00:04:26,780
When you pay the bills,
you get to say "hold it."
79
00:04:27,549 --> 00:04:30,041
Now get in the car,
'cause we're going to church...
80
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,522
and we're gonna have a damn nice Sunday.
81
00:04:33,893 --> 00:04:38,026
You're damn right. Just try and stop me.
82
00:04:39,770 --> 00:04:40,759
Damn.
83
00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:47,276
Here she comes.
84
00:04:47,818 --> 00:04:50,687
God, Red, I don't think I can do this.
85
00:04:50,756 --> 00:04:55,389
- Kitty, do us all a favor and light up.
- I'm fine.
86
00:04:58,737 --> 00:04:59,864
Careful, Grandma.
87
00:05:05,682 --> 00:05:07,116
It's just my dress.
88
00:05:14,631 --> 00:05:16,566
It's nice to see you, Bernice.
89
00:05:16,634 --> 00:05:19,230
I hate this car.
You know, I just hate this car.
90
00:05:20,508 --> 00:05:24,504
Your brother Jerry has a beautiful car.
A Lincoln.
91
00:05:24,983 --> 00:05:28,113
But then, he makes more money,
a lot more money than you do.
92
00:05:29,824 --> 00:05:31,555
All righty, then.
93
00:05:32,262 --> 00:05:35,723
So, Kitty, Eric tells me
that you quit smoking.
94
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:38,534
Yes, I did quit. And I just... I feel great.
95
00:05:41,011 --> 00:05:42,775
Good for you, dear.
96
00:05:49,726 --> 00:05:54,292
In the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Ghost. Amen.
97
00:05:55,002 --> 00:05:57,472
Please stand for a moment
of silent meditation.
98
00:06:00,211 --> 00:06:04,116
Dear God. Thank you so muchfor helping me quit...
99
00:06:04,184 --> 00:06:06,916
such a filthy, disgusting...
100
00:06:06,989 --> 00:06:08,514
soothing, delicious habit.
101
00:06:08,593 --> 00:06:11,962
God, I can't do this. No, I'm fine. Amen.
102
00:06:14,303 --> 00:06:15,566
Dear God...
103
00:06:16,005 --> 00:06:18,737
what's with all the Polacks?
104
00:06:18,810 --> 00:06:19,835
Dear God.
105
00:06:19,912 --> 00:06:21,813
I don't mean to bother youon your day off...
106
00:06:21,883 --> 00:06:25,446
but I promised to help out with Grandmaand I have a term paper due tomorrow.
107
00:06:25,522 --> 00:06:27,754
If you could eitherget her to leave early today...
108
00:06:27,826 --> 00:06:29,260
or burn down the school tomorrow.
109
00:06:29,329 --> 00:06:30,797
I mean, either or, God's choice.
110
00:06:30,864 --> 00:06:34,826
It'd really help me out, man.God. Lord. Amen.
111
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:37,733
Dear Lord.
112
00:06:37,977 --> 00:06:41,848
Would it kill you to give the Packersa winning season? Amen.
113
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:46,421
And watch over my loving familyblah, blah, blah.
114
00:06:50,065 --> 00:06:52,432
Welcome to
Worship for Shutins.
115
00:06:52,503 --> 00:06:53,835
Change it.
116
00:06:57,211 --> 00:06:58,645
All right, change that.
117
00:07:00,617 --> 00:07:04,522
- How did we change channels before Fez?
- I don't think we did.
118
00:07:07,162 --> 00:07:11,898
- You guys, I gotta work on my term paper.
- Where's Grandma?
119
00:07:11,970 --> 00:07:15,841
She's in the bathroom, so I've got, like,
20 minutes, half hour tops.
120
00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:18,176
- What's the assignment?
- All right.
121
00:07:18,248 --> 00:07:20,377
"In 1,000 words describe
the three branches...
122
00:07:20,452 --> 00:07:23,048
"of the United States government
and their functions."
123
00:07:23,123 --> 00:07:24,591
I'll never make it.
124
00:07:24,659 --> 00:07:26,594
Go up and tell them
you have homework to do.
125
00:07:26,662 --> 00:07:28,894
No, I wanna keep peace in the family.
126
00:07:28,966 --> 00:07:32,370
Yeah, Donna, Forman wants
the Hallmark card family.
127
00:07:32,473 --> 00:07:35,672
- The what?
- You know, Grandma comes over.
128
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:41,046
To my mother-in-lawon this beautiful Sunday.
129
00:07:41,121 --> 00:07:42,350
Your smiling face...
130
00:07:42,423 --> 00:07:45,223
your kind embracehas made my home a happy place.
131
00:07:45,528 --> 00:07:48,158
And I'm so happy you're the one...
132
00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:50,430
to whom I gave my loving son.
133
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:53,097
And I'm so happyyou're both happy...
134
00:07:53,175 --> 00:07:55,702
'cause otherwise life would be crappy.
135
00:07:57,549 --> 00:07:58,984
I don't want that.
136
00:07:59,053 --> 00:08:02,024
Yeah, you do. I can see it
in those wide, hopeful eyes.
137
00:08:02,091 --> 00:08:03,753
But the reality is this:
138
00:08:04,094 --> 00:08:07,157
To my daughter-in-law,you took my son.
139
00:08:07,234 --> 00:08:08,293
You wrecked my life.
140
00:08:08,369 --> 00:08:09,461
You stole my youth.
141
00:08:09,537 --> 00:08:10,903
You hate my wife.
142
00:08:10,974 --> 00:08:11,963
I do my best.
143
00:08:12,041 --> 00:08:13,100
Now, that's a joke.
144
00:08:13,177 --> 00:08:14,167
I'm going out.
145
00:08:14,246 --> 00:08:15,976
I need a smoke.
146
00:08:19,855 --> 00:08:21,153
Damn it, Eric!
147
00:08:21,224 --> 00:08:25,129
Quit hiding from your grandmother.
She's old, she could die. Now, move it!
148
00:08:26,033 --> 00:08:28,833
I thought she was in the bathroom.
False alarm.
149
00:08:28,938 --> 00:08:31,408
Look, go take care of your grandmother.
We can do this.
150
00:08:31,476 --> 00:08:32,774
Thanks.
151
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:37,680
- All right, how many words does he have?
- His name, the date, the class.
152
00:08:37,754 --> 00:08:39,052
Seven.
153
00:08:39,623 --> 00:08:42,389
- He's screwed.
- Use his middle name.
154
00:08:42,461 --> 00:08:44,590
See? Now, this would never happen to me.
155
00:08:44,699 --> 00:08:47,397
That is why I do my homework
on Saturday.
156
00:08:48,004 --> 00:08:49,940
This is a moment, Kelso. Pick it.
157
00:08:53,848 --> 00:08:56,512
I think you all could learn something
from me right now.
158
00:08:57,087 --> 00:08:58,385
Moment number two.
159
00:09:00,961 --> 00:09:04,491
All right. Jackie, we need to talk.
160
00:09:07,872 --> 00:09:09,135
You know what?
161
00:09:09,208 --> 00:09:12,738
I did the same paper last year in history.
I think I got an "A."
162
00:09:12,815 --> 00:09:14,511
You want me to go home and get it?
163
00:09:14,584 --> 00:09:18,854
- Let me think. Yeah!
- Hold on, Donna.
164
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,986
Jackie, we need to talk about this whole...
165
00:09:22,766 --> 00:09:24,257
Jackie, why don't you go ahead?
166
00:09:24,335 --> 00:09:25,324
Okay.
167
00:09:28,743 --> 00:09:31,077
Do not break up with her yet,
you understand me?
168
00:09:31,147 --> 00:09:32,740
Say you understand me.
169
00:09:34,552 --> 00:09:36,681
All this time I thought
you didn't like Jackie.
170
00:09:38,292 --> 00:09:40,455
Just don't break up with her yet.
171
00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:41,793
Okay.
172
00:09:44,002 --> 00:09:48,102
What do I need Jackie for, man? I know
more about this stuff than she does.
173
00:09:48,177 --> 00:09:52,276
The three true branches of the government
are military, corporate, and Hollywood.
174
00:09:54,254 --> 00:09:55,779
I need a pencil. I got it.
175
00:09:58,729 --> 00:10:00,391
Jackie, run!
176
00:10:06,341 --> 00:10:09,313
Love!
177
00:10:09,748 --> 00:10:13,049
I hope you're hungry.
Yup, the chicken will be done soon.
178
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,854
I can't eat chicken.
You know I have an irritable bowel.
179
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,059
You should have made a ham.
180
00:10:39,566 --> 00:10:40,761
Boy, Grandma...
181
00:10:40,835 --> 00:10:43,635
that was a great service this morning.
Don't you think?
182
00:10:43,707 --> 00:10:46,611
I think the pastor talked too much
about forgiveness.
183
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,841
Some people shouldn't be forgiven.
184
00:10:50,853 --> 00:10:53,756
This is why theology is such a rich...
185
00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:56,660
You know, Bernice,
some people don't need forgiveness...
186
00:10:56,730 --> 00:10:58,632
they just need a little understanding.
187
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,862
Too true. Have you seen Godspell?
188
00:11:02,808 --> 00:11:05,073
You know, what I don't understand...
189
00:11:05,145 --> 00:11:08,480
is how in hell a brilliant young man,
like my Red...
190
00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:09,951
could have thrown away everything.
191
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:13,754
Grandma! Why don't we go into the
living room and I'll rub your feet.
192
00:11:17,867 --> 00:11:22,501
What a wonderful boy.
Look at how thin you are.
193
00:11:22,676 --> 00:11:24,975
Is your mother
feeding you enough?
194
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,912
You should come
and live with me.
195
00:11:28,052 --> 00:11:29,041
No.
196
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:33,049
I was just on my way to the garage.
197
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,221
To fix this.
198
00:11:35,799 --> 00:11:38,861
Dad, just watch your game.
199
00:11:38,937 --> 00:11:41,430
No, it's just the Packers.
200
00:11:43,345 --> 00:11:47,546
- Eric, where've you been hiding?
- I've been doing some homework.
201
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:48,848
That's important.
202
00:11:48,921 --> 00:11:51,187
Yeah. You know, actually,
it's a really interesting...
203
00:11:51,259 --> 00:11:54,459
Eric, a little less talk
and a little more rubbing.
204
00:11:54,531 --> 00:11:57,627
You're the only one who's not afraid
of my bunion.
205
00:11:58,237 --> 00:11:59,227
Oh, dear.
206
00:12:04,715 --> 00:12:06,617
Good-bye, Eric, I am going home now.
207
00:12:06,686 --> 00:12:09,987
No, wait, Fez, you haven't met Grandma.
208
00:12:10,191 --> 00:12:12,184
Hello, Grandma.
209
00:12:14,366 --> 00:12:16,597
In my village, we worship feet.
210
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,539
And these dogs are a holy treasure.
211
00:12:21,512 --> 00:12:24,449
- You wanna rub them?
- May I?
212
00:12:24,817 --> 00:12:26,548
Knock yourself out.
213
00:12:46,202 --> 00:12:47,260
Hey, Dad.
214
00:12:47,337 --> 00:12:48,863
Damn it, Eric!
215
00:12:50,776 --> 00:12:54,647
Don't sneak up on a person like that
when they're doing this.
216
00:12:56,586 --> 00:12:57,952
How's it going in there?
217
00:12:58,323 --> 00:13:01,886
- I rubbed her feet.
- Now, you're a brave one.
218
00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:04,622
Better get back in there.
219
00:13:05,068 --> 00:13:07,595
Dad, you coming back inside?
220
00:13:08,842 --> 00:13:09,831
Eric...
221
00:13:10,978 --> 00:13:13,642
I love your grandmother very, very much.
222
00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:16,648
I just can't talk to her
or spend any time with her.
223
00:13:18,392 --> 00:13:20,954
Did I mention that I'm in there
rubbing her feet?
224
00:13:22,832 --> 00:13:24,323
You know, son...
225
00:13:24,668 --> 00:13:27,138
sometimes you've just gotta
play through the pain.
226
00:13:28,843 --> 00:13:30,071
What?
227
00:13:31,581 --> 00:13:34,780
- I don't know. Just get back in there.
- Yeah, right.
228
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,187
"With their sugar-coated ideals...
229
00:13:37,258 --> 00:13:40,252
"designed to anesthetize
the ignorant masses.
230
00:13:40,329 --> 00:13:43,529
"Why? So that the military
slash corporate branches...
231
00:13:43,602 --> 00:13:45,468
"can carry out world domination."
232
00:13:46,474 --> 00:13:48,306
All right, read that back to me.
233
00:13:48,377 --> 00:13:49,436
Okay.
234
00:13:56,458 --> 00:14:00,022
- You didn't get that?
- All right, let's just use the encyclopedia.
235
00:14:00,098 --> 00:14:03,537
You just want to vomit up facts
from an encyclopedia?
236
00:14:03,604 --> 00:14:06,131
- Yes.
- Okay, fine. You know what? Vomit away.
237
00:14:06,209 --> 00:14:08,303
I will not be a part of this, then.
238
00:14:08,378 --> 00:14:10,245
Eric, are you down here?
239
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,282
He's not down here, Mrs. Forman.
240
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,481
Donna, good, why don't you come up
and eat with us?
241
00:14:14,556 --> 00:14:18,120
I need all the help I can get. Not
you, Steven. Grandma doesn't like you.
242
00:14:18,897 --> 00:14:20,662
Lucky bastard.
243
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:22,600
What am I supposed to eat?
244
00:14:23,104 --> 00:14:26,008
You know, help yourself to the deep freeze.
245
00:14:26,911 --> 00:14:29,347
But everything's frozen.
246
00:14:30,384 --> 00:14:31,909
And I have a dryer.
247
00:14:40,301 --> 00:14:44,263
Honey, these cheesy potatoes
are delicious.
248
00:14:49,117 --> 00:14:50,642
Thank you, honey.
249
00:14:51,922 --> 00:14:54,358
They really are great, Mrs. Forman.
250
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,763
We have them whenever Grandma
comes over...
251
00:14:57,831 --> 00:15:00,701
'cause mom knows how much
she loves them. Right, Grandma?
252
00:15:02,674 --> 00:15:03,903
They make me sick.
253
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:06,573
I'm allergic to dairy.
254
00:15:07,716 --> 00:15:09,150
How sad.
255
00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:14,349
Ma, this is Wisconsin.
You're not allergic to dairy.
256
00:15:15,797 --> 00:15:18,632
Maybe she's just allergic to my dairy.
257
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:22,565
If you're allergic to dairy you
shouldn't put cream in your coffee.
258
00:15:22,642 --> 00:15:26,604
- I mean, cream is dairy.
- Donna, just, no, okay?
259
00:15:26,682 --> 00:15:30,143
You shut up, Eric! Who the hell are you?
260
00:15:31,258 --> 00:15:34,354
Grandma, that's Donna,
you've known her for 16 years.
261
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:39,060
I have not.
Anyway, I like your new friend better.
262
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,068
The feeling is mutual.
263
00:15:43,746 --> 00:15:44,839
Done.
264
00:15:45,148 --> 00:15:48,176
I heard a noise in the garage.
265
00:15:48,488 --> 00:15:49,716
Raccoons.
266
00:15:50,391 --> 00:15:51,518
Bye.
267
00:15:54,264 --> 00:15:56,962
I couldn't eat another bite.
268
00:15:57,036 --> 00:15:58,664
I've had enough.
269
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,967
I'm going back downstairs. Excuse me.
270
00:16:03,314 --> 00:16:07,276
So, what say we watch
Lawrence Welk, Grandma?
271
00:16:08,389 --> 00:16:11,155
No, I'm going to watch Lawrence Welk
with my new friend.
272
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:14,058
You up for another foot rub, Desi?
273
00:16:17,939 --> 00:16:18,928
Fry time.
274
00:16:21,611 --> 00:16:24,013
- Hot! Hot!
- What are you doing?
275
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:27,783
Just working on your report here,
and having some fries.
276
00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:30,349
Wait, you put French fries
in my mom's dryer?
277
00:16:30,427 --> 00:16:32,920
Yeah, the fish sticks
are too flaky, so I just...
278
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,491
I don't even need to...
279
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,372
Finally.
Where have you guys been?
280
00:16:40,612 --> 00:16:44,381
We had to look for the paper, and eat...
281
00:16:44,452 --> 00:16:46,284
and then some stuff happened, you know.
282
00:16:46,355 --> 00:16:49,383
- Your shirt's on inside out.
- Yeah, that's the stuff.
283
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,464
- Where's the paper?
- Right. Okay, see?
284
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:56,027
It wasn't on the three branches
of the government...
285
00:16:56,105 --> 00:16:57,699
it was on the four food groups.
286
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,911
Okay, look, my dad's got the World Books.
I'll just run next door and get "G."
287
00:17:03,986 --> 00:17:05,717
I'll go with you.
288
00:17:07,325 --> 00:17:09,089
You can break up with her now.
289
00:17:11,199 --> 00:17:15,161
You know, I'm tired of everybody
trying to tear me and Jackie apart.
290
00:17:17,042 --> 00:17:19,945
Moron, every day you say
you're breaking up with her.
291
00:17:20,682 --> 00:17:23,881
You guys don't know her like I do.
292
00:17:24,556 --> 00:17:27,527
I mean, it's not just about fooling around.
293
00:17:28,996 --> 00:17:30,658
She buys me stuff.
294
00:17:31,334 --> 00:17:33,463
She hoovered your chest, man.
295
00:17:35,007 --> 00:17:36,498
You know what?
296
00:17:37,277 --> 00:17:38,906
I don't care anymore.
297
00:17:39,648 --> 00:17:42,950
All I wanted was a little help with
my paper and you've done nothing!
298
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,284
We put your middle name in.
299
00:17:45,659 --> 00:17:47,025
Jean-Claude?
300
00:17:49,065 --> 00:17:50,363
That's two words.
301
00:17:51,836 --> 00:17:53,327
You guys suck.
302
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,505
Just thank God for Donna.
303
00:17:57,045 --> 00:18:00,643
Okay, bad news, my mom sold
some out at the garage sale.
304
00:18:00,719 --> 00:18:02,916
But we have "B," "X," and "R."
305
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:06,120
All right.
306
00:18:06,195 --> 00:18:10,863
Now, you listen up.
I have had an extremely stressful day.
307
00:18:10,937 --> 00:18:13,065
And I am not proud
of what I'm about to say...
308
00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:15,167
but someone give me a cigarette!
309
00:18:15,244 --> 00:18:16,303
Now!
310
00:18:17,982 --> 00:18:20,214
But, Mom, we don't smoke.
311
00:18:20,287 --> 00:18:23,087
Cut the crap, Eric. I am a nurse.
312
00:18:23,158 --> 00:18:27,962
I know that one in five teenagers smoke.
One, two, three, four, five.
313
00:18:28,034 --> 00:18:31,996
Now, I'm going to close my eyes,
and when I open them...
314
00:18:32,074 --> 00:18:34,874
there had better be
a cigarette between these two fingers.
315
00:18:34,946 --> 00:18:37,040
Come on, people. Hop to!
316
00:18:39,687 --> 00:18:40,916
Thank you.
317
00:18:41,256 --> 00:18:42,588
Light?
318
00:18:45,063 --> 00:18:48,866
Kitty.
319
00:18:49,404 --> 00:18:51,805
There you are, Red.
320
00:18:52,309 --> 00:18:55,371
Ma says the cat bit her,
so I'm down here looking for it.
321
00:18:55,448 --> 00:18:57,441
Dad, we don't have a cat.
322
00:18:59,121 --> 00:19:00,316
That's what I thought.
323
00:19:13,747 --> 00:19:14,874
You know, we really...
324
00:19:14,949 --> 00:19:17,249
We shouldn't leave
your poor little foreign friend...
325
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,084
up there alone with Grandma.
326
00:19:28,739 --> 00:19:31,209
It's really kind of nice down here.
327
00:19:41,996 --> 00:19:44,967
Thank you for a wonderful dinner.
328
00:19:45,034 --> 00:19:49,702
- You are so very welcome.
- I hope I wasn't any bother.
329
00:19:49,776 --> 00:19:53,180
Ma, you're no bother.
You're as welcome as...
330
00:19:53,616 --> 00:19:55,016
flowers in May.
331
00:19:56,354 --> 00:19:59,257
Bernice, here, I wrapped up some
chicken for you to take home.
332
00:19:59,326 --> 00:20:01,888
Thank you, dear.
333
00:20:01,964 --> 00:20:04,992
And I hope you put some of those
cheesy potatoes in there.
334
00:20:05,069 --> 00:20:06,902
You know how much I love them.
335
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,330
What?
336
00:20:09,211 --> 00:20:12,307
I thought you made such a big deal
about how you were allergic to...
337
00:20:12,382 --> 00:20:13,441
Eric!
338
00:20:13,518 --> 00:20:16,148
This has been a perfectly nice Sunday.
Let's not spoil it.
339
00:20:19,628 --> 00:20:20,755
Sweetheart...
340
00:20:20,830 --> 00:20:23,528
I hope I didn't make too big a deal
about my allergy.
341
00:20:23,602 --> 00:20:26,631
No, Ma, he's a kid.
342
00:20:26,708 --> 00:20:28,870
He overreacts.
343
00:20:30,213 --> 00:20:33,151
You know, this is the cutest little car.
344
00:20:34,254 --> 00:20:35,917
I just love it.
345
00:20:39,964 --> 00:20:42,764
Eight hundred and twenty-five,
eight hundred and twenty-six...
346
00:20:42,836 --> 00:20:46,468
Eric, what are you doing?
It's 1:00 in the morning.
347
00:20:46,543 --> 00:20:48,910
I'm just finishing up some homework.
348
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:50,806
What are you doing down here?
349
00:20:52,987 --> 00:20:55,252
Snow White came down to gun a stick.
350
00:20:57,395 --> 00:20:59,387
Look, Mom, I wish you wouldn't smoke.
351
00:20:59,464 --> 00:21:01,957
I know. This is my last one. I promise.
352
00:21:05,809 --> 00:21:07,334
By the way...
353
00:21:08,147 --> 00:21:10,777
thanks for your help
with your grandma today.
354
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:13,186
Can I ask you a question?
355
00:21:13,590 --> 00:21:16,060
What does she have against you, Mom?
356
00:21:17,563 --> 00:21:18,553
Well...
357
00:21:19,466 --> 00:21:22,267
About 25 years ago,
your father was dating...
358
00:21:23,306 --> 00:21:27,109
this very attractive, well-to-do woman
that your grandma liked...
359
00:21:29,351 --> 00:21:31,343
and he married me instead.
360
00:21:32,222 --> 00:21:34,215
And she never forgave me.
361
00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:36,725
That bitch.
362
00:21:59,905 --> 00:22:02,501
Now, who was the lady
with the cotton-candy dress?
363
00:22:02,610 --> 00:22:05,308
That's Norma Zimmer, the champagne lady.
364
00:22:05,381 --> 00:22:07,476
She is very talented.
365
00:22:07,585 --> 00:22:10,488
And you see those two dancing?
That's Bobby and Sissy.
366
00:22:10,557 --> 00:22:13,620
I like his tight pants, but she's a slut.
367
00:22:14,230 --> 00:22:15,960
You know, I have seen this show before.
368
00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:18,971
But the band leader's voice
was much more masculine.
369
00:22:23,346 --> 00:22:25,441
Bubbles!
27892
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