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1
00:00:10,060 --> 00:00:13,775
A couple hockey players
come up to the produce stand
the other day...
2
00:00:13,776 --> 00:00:16,204
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
3
00:00:16,205 --> 00:00:22,769
For Subtitling Services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
4
00:00:22,770 --> 00:00:24,439
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
KATY: Bye!
5
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,309
Can't believe
your sister's still dating
these nut sacks.
6
00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:28,679
Wayne.
How're you now?
7
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:29,779
KATY: Good and you?
Not so bad.
8
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,110
Hi, Katy.
Go home, Daryl.
9
00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:35,889
Nice onesie.
Does it come in men's?
10
00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:38,119
Oh, I think you cum
in men enough for all of us.
11
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,090
I think you better
come in my...
12
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,589
I mean, you better come...
13
00:00:41,590 --> 00:00:44,429
I think you better come say
that to his face,
you fucking hicks!
14
00:00:44,430 --> 00:00:46,399
Nice execution.
You're doin' terrific.
15
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,359
Hey, I heard about
your break-up, buddy.
16
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:50,329
She was your sweetie
for five years, right?
17
00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:52,269
Your high school
sweetie, right?
18
00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:54,169
What's it to ya?
Heard she cheated
on you, buddy.
19
00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:55,399
That's a real kick
in the knackers, bro.
20
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,209
Just a real ouchie, bro.
21
00:00:57,210 --> 00:00:59,339
It's too bad she taught you
not to fight anymore, buddy.
22
00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:01,509
'Cause that's a fight
on sight for you and
her new guy, buddy.
23
00:01:01,510 --> 00:01:03,579
Fourth line for life, bro.
24
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:06,179
Maybe, if you'd ever been
in a real fight, you might not
be so keen for another.
25
00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:07,649
What did you say?
26
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,189
You heard me.
27
00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:10,549
Hold my spitter.
28
00:01:10,550 --> 00:01:12,859
Darts off, boys.
29
00:01:12,860 --> 00:01:14,419
You looking for a tilly, buddy?
30
00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:16,459
Let's have a donnybrook.
DARYL: Pump the brakes.
31
00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:18,329
You take your shirt off,
but leave your sunglasses on?
32
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,699
What sort of backwards fuckin'
pageantry is that?
33
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:22,629
Do you want to fight
with those shades or play
pokerstars.com?
34
00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:24,429
Hold my spitter.
35
00:01:24,430 --> 00:01:25,899
Dude, I can't hold
your spitter.
You're holding
my spitter.
36
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:27,500
Just put the
spitters down.
Tick-tock.
37
00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:34,339
Go time!
Go time!
38
00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:36,279
Look at that fuckin'
treasure trail.
39
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,309
WAYNE: What's up with your
fuckin' body hair, big shoots.
40
00:01:38,310 --> 00:01:40,219
You look like a
12-year-old Dutch girl.
41
00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,179
Your aesthetician quaff
that for you?
42
00:01:42,180 --> 00:01:43,449
DARYL: You can kiss
my ass-thetician.
43
00:01:43,450 --> 00:01:45,919
You guys do cross fit?
You can cross-fuck-off.
44
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,489
Cross fart. How many times
you pulled your
horn today, bud?
45
00:01:48,490 --> 00:01:49,759
What?
Oh, she's bashful.
46
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,330
Oh, come on, kitten.
I won't tell anyone.
47
00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:53,599
Ball park six to eight?
48
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,799
You're a fucking animal.
Play a little five on one.
49
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,629
WAYNE: Hit the kitchen,
mix a batch.
DARYL: Feed the ducks.
50
00:01:57,630 --> 00:01:59,199
Distribute some
free literature.
51
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,539
Go time!
52
00:02:00,540 --> 00:02:02,299
Fuckin'... Shed 'em!
53
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:04,870
Riley! Jonesy! Put your
fuckin' shirts on!
Get outta here!
54
00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:09,249
BOTH: This isn't over!
Jinx. You owe me a Coke.
55
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:10,550
Never buy you a Coke.
56
00:02:16,420 --> 00:02:18,959
It's a hard life pickin'
stones and pullin' teats
57
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,759
but sure as God's got sandals
it beats fightin' dudes
with treasure trails.
58
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,760
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
59
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,839
Hi, Katy.
60
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,669
We're out of yogurt.
61
00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:38,409
I brought some from home.
62
00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:39,779
KATY: So why didn't you
stay there and eat it.
63
00:02:39,780 --> 00:02:41,510
Mornin' Dary.
Mornin'.
64
00:02:44,410 --> 00:02:45,819
WAYNE: Thank you.
Welcome.
65
00:02:45,820 --> 00:02:47,749
So, you talked to Angie yet?
66
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:50,019
It's been almost a month now.
Think you need to get
back on the horse.
67
00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:52,659
She stepped out on you.
Can't go back to that
and get any respect.
68
00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:53,859
Not in Letterkenny.
69
00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:55,459
Wayne, Angie did
you a lot of good.
70
00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:57,289
Somewhere along the way
you kinda got soft.
71
00:02:57,290 --> 00:02:58,729
You're not even
fighting anymore.
72
00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:00,559
You know what you need?
Sex. With a girl.
73
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,599
Not just any girl.
A good Christian girl.
74
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,869
I think I can help you.
75
00:03:03,870 --> 00:03:05,899
I've been going to the Burning
Bush Youth Group every Sunday.
76
00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:07,299
I think you should
come with me.
77
00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:08,809
I think you should
just eat your yogurt.
78
00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:09,909
There's millions
of starving kids
in the world.
79
00:03:09,910 --> 00:03:10,910
Yeah? Name ten.
80
00:03:21,450 --> 00:03:22,649
(SIGHS)
81
00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:23,919
You need a distraction.
82
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,690
Something fun.
Look at this.
83
00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:31,029
It's called Tinder.
84
00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:33,399
Look, see there's all
these girls and if you
don't like one,
85
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,359
you just say nope
and move onto the next.
86
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,669
But if you do like one,
then you can see how
close they are
87
00:03:38,670 --> 00:03:40,039
and I don't know, maybe meet up
88
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,539
or whatever.
89
00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:44,370
So if you like 'em you just
type 'em out a message
or what's the scoop?
90
00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:47,810
Yeah. You just, you know,
say something like...
91
00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:53,980
Like, "On a scale of one
to America, how free
are you right now?"
92
00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:00,690
Oh, Jesus!
Look at these nut sacks.
93
00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:03,529
Why do you hate them so much?
94
00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:06,399
'Cause hockey players
would grab a monkey
by the tit if they could.
95
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,629
Smokes are for jokes, bud!
96
00:04:08,630 --> 00:04:10,499
Put it out before
it puts you out, bud!
97
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,730
(CHUCKLES)
Trash the ash, pal!
98
00:04:16,470 --> 00:04:18,469
Ouch! Put it out! Put it out!
99
00:04:18,470 --> 00:04:20,380
Put it out! Put it out!
100
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,779
Tell the fish hook story, Dan.
101
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:25,619
It's really more
of a Wayne story.
102
00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:26,579
Yeah, but he won't tell it.
103
00:04:26,580 --> 00:04:28,819
Oh, you've heard it
a baker's dozen times.
104
00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:30,449
Tell the story
or he won't shut up.
105
00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:32,049
DAN: Is there anymore
trail mix?
106
00:04:32,050 --> 00:04:33,059
It's in the house.
107
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,559
Yous makes the most delicious
trail mix, Katy,
108
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,529
and I got to say that's what
I appreciates about you.
109
00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:40,029
Is that what you
appreciate about me?
110
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,829
Pitter-patter, squirrely Dan.
111
00:04:41,830 --> 00:04:43,999
So, as the story goes,
112
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,139
Wayne hucks an egg at a truck
with a Confederate flag
113
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:47,739
in the back windshield
114
00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:49,109
and the driver's fumin' pissed.
115
00:04:49,110 --> 00:04:52,539
So, we flee the scene
goin' full tilt like
a Peterbilt, right?
116
00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:55,809
Now, The Federales catch up
to us and chase us
through a few backyards
117
00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:57,979
before we scamper up
into some trees
118
00:04:57,980 --> 00:05:00,919
and all Wayne's got on
is a pair of
cut-off jean shorts
119
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,919
so he ain't exactly
super jazzed about the
situation, was you Wayne?
120
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:05,719
Oh, I'm no DJ Jazzy Jeff.
121
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,319
The Federale
pulls out his Taser,
122
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:11,789
and he points it up at Wayne
and says some real
Clint Eastwood-sounding shit.
123
00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:13,259
He says to Wayne, he says,
124
00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:17,399
"If I'd known I was going to
run into some uptown
street toughs today,
125
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,099
"I'd have done up
my top button."
126
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:21,039
(CHUCKLES) That's from
a John Wayne motion picture.
127
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:21,969
No, Cool Hand Luke.
128
00:05:21,970 --> 00:05:24,139
Pert near anything
Kevin Costner, really.
129
00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:27,979
Either way, I's impressed
and I'd let out
an audible gasp
130
00:05:27,980 --> 00:05:32,109
so he hears me, spins around,
aims the Taser up at me
and lets fire,
131
00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:34,679
and if that thing doesn't
latch onto my nipple ring,
132
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,919
which I'm pretty sure
amplified the
electric current,
133
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,719
he sent coursing through
my entire body.
134
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,059
And they just walked over
and yanked that thing
out of my nipple
135
00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:42,859
like it was a goddamn
fish hook.
136
00:05:42,860 --> 00:05:44,559
At least that's
according to my cousin.
137
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:45,999
Well, you know,
my second cousin.
138
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,929
Who, Garrett?
No, Jarrett.
139
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,629
Huh...
I cried.
140
00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:50,999
I'm not even ashamed
to admit that.
141
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,969
(BURPS)
142
00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,799
That was well brought up.
Too bad you weren't.
143
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,769
I should say.
144
00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:58,679
Thirsty Thursdays, boys.
145
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,880
Might as well get balls
deep in a bottle of
Gus'n Bru tonight.
146
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,749
It's a four leaf clover.
Make a wish.
147
00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:07,719
Wish you weren't so
fucking awkward, bud.
148
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,119
(BLOWS)
149
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,120
(BURPS)
150
00:06:13,860 --> 00:06:16,059
KATY: Is Angie working?
151
00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:17,160
DARYL: Better have
a peek-see, Wayne.
152
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,669
GAIL: How are yous?
WAYNE: Not too bad.
153
00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:27,599
Good. And you?
Not too bad.
154
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,869
Smells like someone's
in their barn clothes.
155
00:06:29,870 --> 00:06:32,539
It's Dary.
Four shots of Gus'n Bru,
please and thank you,
156
00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:33,739
One for you, too, Gailor.
157
00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:36,009
Thank you, Wayne,
but I'm off the sauce.
158
00:06:36,010 --> 00:06:38,509
Taking eight vitamins
a day now.
159
00:06:38,510 --> 00:06:40,879
What are you taking?
I'm taking multi-vitamin,
160
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,889
fish oil, vitamin C, vitamin D,
161
00:06:43,890 --> 00:06:46,959
two vitamin B complexes
and two Cold-FX's.
162
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,559
Yeah, but 'cept
how many darts though?
163
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:49,659
Twenty, 25 darts.
164
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:50,889
Oh, you got 'er down then?
165
00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:52,059
Last I seen ya,
you were on a pack
and a half of smokes.
166
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:54,029
Well, sometimes,
I'll have a pack
and a half of smokes,
167
00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:55,229
but never more than
two packs of smokes.
168
00:06:55,230 --> 00:06:56,800
Good enough.
169
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,200
All right. Won't be rude.
170
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:04,569
I'd hang a piss.
171
00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:06,079
Oh, fuck.
172
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,110
I'm about to give birth
to a pound of fudge.
173
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,510
(TRICKLING)
174
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:14,919
Wayne.
175
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:15,949
McMurray.
How're ya now?
176
00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:17,549
Good 'n you?
Not so bad.
177
00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:20,659
Seen Angie, with
her new dude?
What a fuckin' dandy.
178
00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:23,689
Yeah. He's got
fugazi-diamonds
in both ears
179
00:07:23,690 --> 00:07:25,059
and leprechaun
buckles on his shoes.
180
00:07:25,060 --> 00:07:27,829
Running a fuckin'
Dippity-Doo convention
upstairs for a salad.
181
00:07:27,830 --> 00:07:30,969
Driving a '94 Jeep YJ
with a wave decal on the side.
182
00:07:30,970 --> 00:07:32,969
Enough cologne to offend
a Bangkok lady boy.
183
00:07:32,970 --> 00:07:34,069
Good enough.
184
00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:35,239
Do you want to hear
the best part?
185
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,139
You really wanna
hear the best part.
186
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:38,910
Okay.
He went full Bieber eyes.
187
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,480
What?
Bieber eyes.
188
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:44,580
Wayne.
189
00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:48,919
Wayne. Wayne, look.
190
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,319
It's inappropriate, McMurray.
191
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,619
Wayne, just look
for fuck's sake.
192
00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:53,620
Just fuckin' look, Wayne.
193
00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:57,990
Full Bieber eyes.
What's that?
194
00:07:59,230 --> 00:08:01,199
Bieber. The pop star.
195
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,970
I'm not familiar
with his work.
(DOOR OPENING)
196
00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:10,569
This must be where
the dicks hang out, eh?
197
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:11,939
Our dicks hang out.
198
00:08:11,940 --> 00:08:13,979
Yours is like a mushroom
in a corn field.
199
00:08:13,980 --> 00:08:15,080
Mind your fuckin'
business, Alexander.
200
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:20,679
Seen Angie with her new dude?
What a fuckin' dandy.
201
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,349
Eyes on your own
work there, super chief.
202
00:08:22,350 --> 00:08:23,920
(ALEXANDER LAUGHING)
(DOOR OPENS)
203
00:08:29,190 --> 00:08:32,599
Thank Christ, Wayne,
I'm pushing clobs here.
204
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,969
Get outta the way,
I'm growing a tail.
205
00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:38,599
Wayne, I would like
to cordially invite you to
the Burning Bush Youth Group
206
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,699
this Sunday, for an
evening of song and praise.
207
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:43,739
Hard no.
My sweetie, Margaret,
is a first class gal.
208
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,639
She's got some friends
she can introduce you to.
209
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,679
Margaret? Sounds like
a biddy old blue-hair'd.
210
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:52,949
She's not. She's a very
focused young woman on the
path to eternity with Christ.
211
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,880
And which part
of that appeals to you?
212
00:08:56,650 --> 00:08:58,990
I like singing the songs.
KATY: Sort yourself out.
213
00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:03,259
You're a pervert, Daryl.
214
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:05,829
Jesus, your breath could stop
a Mack truck right now.
215
00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:06,960
All right, cool it.
216
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:10,769
What say, we go for
a quick ice run, Wayne?
217
00:09:10,770 --> 00:09:13,139
I'm pushing up on you
for years now.
218
00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:15,869
What's say you give
old Gailor one for
the scrapbook?
219
00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:16,910
Huh?
220
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:24,879
I'll do the Youth Group.
221
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,279
All right.
222
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,319
DAN: Gail, looks like the
John's allergic to fudge.
223
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,389
DAN: Bring the plunger,
we may have
to break this one up.
224
00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:33,889
Told you to flush
as you go. Fuck.
225
00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:36,030
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)
226
00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,640
(BAND TUNING)
227
00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:01,080
(INAUDIBLE)
228
00:10:03,950 --> 00:10:06,359
Hi, Daryl.
Christ be with you.
229
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,089
Margaret.
230
00:10:08,090 --> 00:10:10,059
And you must be Wayne.
Mmm-hmm.
231
00:10:10,060 --> 00:10:12,359
Christ be with you, Wayne.
Hello.
232
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:13,899
How are yous?
233
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,159
Oh, not s'bad.
Good 'n you?
234
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:16,270
Perfect.
235
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,739
You made a good choice
coming here, tonight.
236
00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:21,070
Yeah? Why is that?
237
00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:25,709
Hold your finger here
for as long as you can.
238
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:26,740
What for...
239
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,849
All right.
Now imagine,
240
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:36,349
your soul engulfed
in that for all of eternity.
241
00:10:36,350 --> 00:10:37,150
Okay.
242
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,329
God is good.
243
00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:44,390
That's how they get you.
244
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,459
Wayne's been going through
a bit of a rough break up,
245
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:50,369
and I thought a night
at the Burning Bush
might help him out.
246
00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:52,100
Plus, it's better
than spending
all his time on Tinder.
247
00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:55,469
Tinder?
248
00:10:55,470 --> 00:10:57,939
Did you know that
it was originally
called Grindr
249
00:10:57,940 --> 00:10:59,840
and that it was made
for gay men to sodomize
each other?
250
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:04,209
No.
Yeah.
251
00:11:04,210 --> 00:11:05,350
Good way to get
a finger in your bum.
252
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:07,750
Or a tongue in your bum.
253
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:10,150
Do you know
what Dick Dingers are?
254
00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:13,119
No.
255
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,859
It's when they snort drugs
off of each other's
erect penises.
256
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:17,789
That have just been in bums.
257
00:11:17,790 --> 00:11:20,999
Oh, my gourd!
Look at this turnout.
258
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,059
Hi, everybody.
259
00:11:22,060 --> 00:11:23,969
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
260
00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:25,999
Quick question for all y'all.
261
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,839
How good is God?
262
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,169
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
263
00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:33,209
I know, I know,
I love him.
He's the best.
264
00:11:33,210 --> 00:11:34,909
There's almost no one
I like more.
265
00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:36,809
Second question,
has anyone seen...
266
00:11:36,810 --> 00:11:38,879
Where is my beautiful
girlfriend, Virginia?
267
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,419
Ginny, where are you?
268
00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:42,419
GLEN: There she is,
Ginny, come on up here.
Come up, Ginny.
269
00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:46,059
(CLAPS)
Oh, ugh, Ginny.
270
00:11:46,060 --> 00:11:48,119
Ginny, Ginny,
Ginny. Hmm.
271
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:51,229
I still remember,
like it was yesterday,
272
00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:53,499
the day that the Lord
gave you to me.
273
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:56,099
And he said, "Glen,
274
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:59,899
"this is your blank canvas,
it is pale.
275
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:02,369
"It is colorless,
it is almost cardboard-like.
276
00:12:02,370 --> 00:12:04,039
"I want you
277
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,909
"to give it life,
to give it color."
278
00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:07,839
And so I said to the Lord,
279
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,010
"I will give it everything,
everything.
280
00:12:11,050 --> 00:12:12,849
"Except for one thing."
281
00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:15,819
(AUDIENCE CHATTERING)
What was that question?
Uh, hmm?
282
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,349
Vaginal intercourse!
283
00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:18,190
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
284
00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:22,459
GLEN:
Guess what, boys and girls?
285
00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:25,859
You're in for somethin'
special, 'cause we got
The Salty Treats.
286
00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:27,200
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
287
00:12:28,930 --> 00:12:30,830
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
288
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,039
What the actual fuck
is this place?
289
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:39,909
Why can't you just
enjoy yourself?
290
00:12:39,910 --> 00:12:41,109
It's 'cause I get onto
this Tinder thing,
291
00:12:41,110 --> 00:12:44,209
and now they tell me
it's for finding dudes.
292
00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:46,319
But that's some
bullshit, right?
293
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,179
I don't know.
You want some
strawberry lemonade?
294
00:12:48,180 --> 00:12:51,519
I haven't seen this sort
of fuckin' bedlam since
we fired Roman Candles
295
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,259
at coyotes that night
and caught one right
in the butt hole, fuck.
296
00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:58,259
Ran up the back porch,
dropped seven shades of shit
in Dad's work boots.
297
00:12:58,260 --> 00:12:59,899
Could have been a wolf.
There's wolf's in
the back bush.
298
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:01,229
There's for sure mooses.
299
00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:02,870
Have a dart.
Yeah, I'd have a dart.
300
00:13:04,030 --> 00:13:06,040
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
301
00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:20,419
Oh, fuckin' Grindr.
302
00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:22,019
Grindr?
303
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:23,419
(GROWLING) Grindr.
What?
304
00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:24,789
Pray tell, what are you doing
on Grindr, Wayne?
305
00:13:24,790 --> 00:13:27,989
What are you skids
doing out of your parents'
basement, Stewart?
306
00:13:27,990 --> 00:13:29,159
The gang and I have been
doing hip-hop karaoke
307
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,089
for the better part
of 48 hours.
Out on the decks.
308
00:13:31,090 --> 00:13:33,029
Ones and twos.
The entire 48.
309
00:13:33,030 --> 00:13:34,129
Subsequently spittin'
hot fire. (EXHALES)
310
00:13:34,130 --> 00:13:35,899
Playing Mega-Man
and Final Fantasy
on original NES.
311
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,229
Pokémon Gold, on GameBoy Color.
312
00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:39,039
Gotta catch 'em all.
Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, Venusaur,
313
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:40,669
Charmeleon, Charizard,
fuckin' Charmander.
314
00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:41,969
Fuckin' Charmander.
315
00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:45,339
WAYNE: Time to take
about 20% off on the
meth intake, boys
316
00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:47,039
STEWART: Ever played
Dr. Mario on Super NES?
317
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,449
(EXCLAIMS) Game is full
of subliminal messages.
318
00:13:49,450 --> 00:13:51,149
Hunter S. Thompson would
have had a field day.
319
00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:53,349
Hunter S.? Charles Bukowski.
320
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:56,019
Oh, yes, Chuck Bukowski.
That's a better
one, Stewart.
321
00:13:56,020 --> 00:13:57,219
STEWART: Ever played Aladdin
on original Sega G?
322
00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:58,559
Coffee? Tea? Sega?
323
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,359
Lion King was
far ahead of its time.
324
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,159
Makes you think far
beyond your years.
325
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,389
Disney games prevail!
326
00:14:03,390 --> 00:14:05,389
You got any weed?
327
00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:08,229
I always regret coming
to the surface with you,
day-walking hicks.
328
00:14:08,230 --> 00:14:10,229
The minutiae of your world.
329
00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:12,939
My basement resembles
an island Xanadu,
in comparison.
330
00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:14,139
Okay.
Ah, but some quick math
331
00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:16,409
tells me this time, however,
332
00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:19,209
you've been so agonized
by a woman you're now seeking
the company of men.
333
00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:20,609
(GIGGLES)
334
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,109
Oh, okay.
We've all thought about it.
335
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:24,309
Well, good on you
for doubling down.
336
00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:26,719
Although, I didn't
peg you for
a pipe fitter, Wayne.
337
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,549
(GROWLING) Pegged!
338
00:14:28,550 --> 00:14:29,919
Five years with Angie,
we figured you were
a concrete clam slammer.
339
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,089
Why drink from the furry cup
when the garden hose
is right there?
340
00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:33,089
Who knew he liked
the chutney ferret, eh fellas?
341
00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:35,319
(ALL LAUGHING)
342
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:36,659
Fuckin' what?
343
00:14:36,660 --> 00:14:38,229
Knob jockey.
Back door bandit.
344
00:14:38,230 --> 00:14:39,629
I'm gay, but donut puncher!
345
00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:41,129
(CHUCKLES)
346
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,299
Just gimme my phone.
Oh, yeah, sure thing.
347
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,569
Oklahomo.
Rear admiral.
348
00:14:44,570 --> 00:14:46,539
Uphill gardener.
(LAUGHING) Bum bumper.
349
00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:48,339
This is awkward for me,
you guys.
350
00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:49,739
Hey, it's okay.
351
00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:52,509
We know, and we
support you. (GRUNTS)
352
00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:54,239
All right.
Donald Trump of rump!
353
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,510
(ALL LAUGHING)
354
00:14:58,410 --> 00:15:00,019
Phone.
Okay.
355
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:02,020
But only because
you have this weird...
356
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,589
Menergy...
(IN FALSETTO) Menergy!
357
00:15:05,590 --> 00:15:08,120
About you.
(MOANS) Sorry.
358
00:15:11,530 --> 00:15:13,629
That's a great name for a spa.
(GROWLS)
359
00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:15,570
(PLAYING DIDGERIDOO)
360
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,579
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
361
00:15:26,580 --> 00:15:28,680
Oh, stop it.
You know I love ripping didge.
362
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,209
If you don't change
your attitude you're gonna
lose out on all the girls.
363
00:15:58,210 --> 00:16:01,179
Like the 12-year-olds
or the 13-year-olds?
364
00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:03,080
DARYL: Well, have you noticed
all the well-groomed
dudes here?
365
00:16:04,610 --> 00:16:06,279
MARGARET: You missed
the best part.
366
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,419
Glen just did
his didgeridoo solo.
367
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:11,389
Well, that's pretty much it.
368
00:16:11,390 --> 00:16:12,719
You guys wanna get
some milk shakes?
369
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,420
I think Modeans
is open.
Boy, howdy.
370
00:16:15,460 --> 00:16:17,289
Well, well, well...
371
00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:20,829
Daryl, girl, Wayne.
372
00:16:20,830 --> 00:16:24,069
Bit surprised to see you here,
I'm being honest.
373
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,270
Didn't realize you were
big fan of the didge.
374
00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:30,640
Aw. More of
a didgere-don't?
375
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,010
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING)
376
00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:42,379
(GIGGLES)
377
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:44,119
What do you do
with the fertile, Wayne?
378
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,389
Didn't I just catch
you cruisin' Grindr?
379
00:16:46,390 --> 00:16:48,259
Come again?
380
00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:49,559
Hey, shouldn't
you boys be watching
Friday Night Lights
381
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:50,729
with a gym sock
on your joy stick?
382
00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:52,159
Chirp Tim Riggins.
I fuckin' dare you.
383
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,799
Mix in a little One Tree Hill
and maybe some Gossip Girl.
384
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,369
But I think we've got
bigger fish to fry right here.
385
00:16:57,370 --> 00:17:00,199
Looking for love
over the rainbow now,
are we Dorothy?
386
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,669
I hate you,
387
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:03,539
but can confirm
deer season's over.
388
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:05,209
He's hunting bear now.
389
00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:06,739
(GROWLING)
(LAUGHING)
390
00:17:06,740 --> 00:17:10,209
I fuckin' hate you too.
However, fuckin' hate
him more.
391
00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:12,749
And I just found out
he's ambidextrous.
392
00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:13,619
What are they talking
about, Wayne?
393
00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:14,719
RILEY: He likes dicks now.
394
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,489
In his bum.
Or his mouth.
395
00:17:16,490 --> 00:17:17,549
RILEY: All over.
396
00:17:17,550 --> 00:17:19,389
WOMAN: Oh, my God.
That's Angie's new boyfriend?
397
00:17:19,390 --> 00:17:20,520
DARYL:
Oh, that's that city boy.
398
00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:23,830
(IMITATING TRAIN HONK)
399
00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:26,799
What a skirt.
400
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,300
(CHUCKLES)
What a shit.
401
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,139
Fuck, Lemony Snicket,
what a series
of unfortunate events
402
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:37,739
you fuckin' been through,
you ugly fuck.
403
00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:39,509
Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
404
00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:42,579
RILEY: Fuck you, Stewart.
Hey, fuck you...
405
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,610
MAN: Yeah, fuck yourself.
406
00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:54,690
(HORN HONKING)
407
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,199
(PHONE BEEPS)
408
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,840
You must be having a fun night.
409
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,339
"Ur bro is gay.
410
00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:14,810
"LMFAO." In all caps,
from Riley.
411
00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:21,519
Wayne? You remember
when you were 19,
412
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,819
those worm pickers kept coming
in the night and trampling
on our beans?
413
00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:26,589
What did you do?
414
00:18:26,590 --> 00:18:28,859
Dug six foot holes,
put a skunk in each one
415
00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:31,189
and waited for them to fall in.
416
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:35,399
Remember when the skids
egged Daryl on his bike?
What did you do?
417
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,230
Put some stink bombs
in a Nerf gun and fired it
at them on prom night.
418
00:18:39,740 --> 00:18:41,939
Remember when you came
in from chorin' and found
those messages
419
00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:44,309
on my computer from a guy
calling me a slut?
420
00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:46,579
I wanted a piece
of that guy for a long time.
421
00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:49,480
You drove over to his house
and broke his nose
on his front lawn.
422
00:18:52,510 --> 00:18:54,979
You know, I miss that Wayne.
423
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:56,289
I think a lot of people do.
424
00:18:56,290 --> 00:18:57,420
It's for the better.
425
00:19:01,660 --> 00:19:02,890
(HUMMING)
426
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,570
(GRUNTING AND MUMBLING)
427
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,580
This is Sparta!
428
00:19:26,820 --> 00:19:27,920
(TROY LAUGHING)
429
00:19:33,390 --> 00:19:36,259
Ow! Fuck!
430
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:39,329
What the hell are you doing?
I'd ask you the same thing,
you fuckin' tit.
431
00:19:39,330 --> 00:19:42,399
I'm taping an idiot.
I'm not sneaking up on dudes
and starting fights.
432
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,269
I'm not fightin' ya.
I'm smackin' ya.
433
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:47,769
Oh, that's right.
You don't fight
anymore, do you?
434
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:50,870
I figured I'd have one
on deck for sure
after I stole your girl.
435
00:19:52,810 --> 00:19:54,439
Nothin', eh?
436
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,449
No move?
437
00:19:56,450 --> 00:19:58,679
She must've trained you well.
438
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,519
So what's it gonna take
to get you back
on the horse there, champ?
439
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,750
Do I go inside and spread
Angie right out on the bar
when she gets here?
440
00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:07,560
I've fucked your girl
more times than you've
had a hot meal.
441
00:20:09,430 --> 00:20:10,490
Maybe your sister
wants to join us.
442
00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:13,929
It's Katy, right?
Shit.
443
00:20:13,930 --> 00:20:15,799
Why don't I go over
there and ask her myself?
444
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:16,730
(GRUNTS IN PAIN)
445
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,640
(GROANS)
446
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,480
Pull your pants up, Alexander.
447
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,920
You've come this far.
448
00:20:41,090 --> 00:20:42,590
(BOTTLE SHATTERS)
449
00:21:13,990 --> 00:21:15,589
(WHIMPERS)
450
00:21:15,590 --> 00:21:17,059
(SPITS)
451
00:21:17,060 --> 00:21:18,660
Welcome to fuckin' Letterkenny.
452
00:21:46,590 --> 00:21:47,590
Good to have you back,
big brother.
453
00:21:49,390 --> 00:21:51,129
Hi, Katy
KATY: Go home, Daryl.
454
00:21:51,130 --> 00:21:52,489
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
455
00:21:52,490 --> 00:21:54,400
(ENGINE REVVING)
456
00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:57,429
JONESY: Bye, Wayne.
Have a good one bro.
RILEY: Bye, Wayne.
457
00:21:57,430 --> 00:21:59,499
RILEY: See you later, buddy.
458
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,669
♪ Pigeon Hole, like a wild wolf
pack ♪
459
00:22:01,670 --> 00:22:04,639
♪ Ch-ch-ch, bom-bom-bom! We
'bout to pull back ♪
460
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,439
♪ Let it out, let it loose,
light years ahead of you ♪
461
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:11,979
♪ Quick, run, scatter for the
hills is what you better do ♪
462
00:22:11,980 --> 00:22:14,919
♪ That's what you better do ♪
463
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:22,059
♪ That's what you better do ♪
464
00:22:22,060 --> 00:22:24,959
♪ Straight out the motherfuckin
back water boondocks ♪
465
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,829
♪ Somethin' brand new to go sla
on the jukebox ♪
466
00:22:27,830 --> 00:22:30,799
♪ Slim Jim, been around the
clock 'til the wig split ♪
467
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,769
♪ Heat up the soup pot and mop
up the pig shit ♪
468
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:36,709
♪ Yeah, uh, Pigeon Hole, step
back ♪
469
00:22:36,710 --> 00:22:39,739
♪ Too high for 'em, I am on my
jet pack ♪
470
00:22:39,740 --> 00:22:42,579
♪ I am on that future grind,
sorry for the setback ♪
471
00:22:42,580 --> 00:22:45,549
♪ People need to clean it up,
people need a wet nap ♪
472
00:22:45,550 --> 00:22:48,479
♪ Fuck that, I keep it sand
paper rugged ♪
473
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,386
♪ Sand paper rugged, sand-sand
paper rugged ♪
474
00:22:51,387 --> 00:22:58,206
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