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For 400 years, Yu Putuan remains
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the best of the top 3 banned books
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with its depictions of carnal desires
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There lived a monk in the Yuan Dynasty
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who always carried a sack
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Known as the Sack Monk
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he was well versed in Buddhist sutra
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A scholar nicknamed Wei Yang Sheng
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Was licentious by nature
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He considered celibacy unnatural
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When he consulted the Sack Monk
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They got into a heated argument
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and parted on a sour note
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Sir
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Consider your current life
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If you screw someone's wife or daughter
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Someone will screw yours
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You'll get instant retribution
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I thought with your eminence
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You must be very insightful
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I'm disappointed with such triteness
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If there's retribution for carnal intercourse
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What if I have no wife or daughter?
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Where does retribution come in?
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How about a man with few womenfolk
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who screws many women
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Even if his kin were screwed
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He'd still come out ahead!
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The groom kowtows to his father-in-law
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The groom offers tea
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We must tease the bride
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Yes! We must!
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Let's have a toast for the bride
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You must drink up!
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Drink up!
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We're leaving!
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Get out!
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Do you know my nickname
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is Mister Iron Gate?
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Because I'm strict with my family
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I clamp down hard on them like a gate
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I let you be my son-in-law,
because of your learning
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Whether you travel or be an official
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You have nothing to worry about
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This is precisely the reason
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With you watching his wife
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he won't get retribution!
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Sex is the most pleasurable thing
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It'll hurt the first time
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But I'll be gentle
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You'll learn to enjoy it
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Sex is the most shameful thing
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Since it is stipulated by etiquette
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I will perform my duty
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But I know it'll hurt
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please hurry and spare me the agony!
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This is anaesthetic
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Put some on for me to ease the pain
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This is pain killer
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Give me some afterwards
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I'm ready!
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Hurry! What are you doing?
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Don't rush me! I'm not ready!
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Why not? Just stick it inside!
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Alright, as you wish...
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It hurts!
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Why did you kick me?
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Give me the pain killer, hurry!
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I'm not done yet!
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I've done my part
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I don't care if you're not finished!
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But you're not even bleeding!
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Says who? There's blood everywhere!
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Why is there so much blood?
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There's blood on my ring!
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You must have cut your dick with it!
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I'm going to pass out...
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My pain killer
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Give me the pain killer
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I told you this is filthy
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This is a genuine Zhao Meng Fu!
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Read it after fasting and ablution
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This is disgusting!
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It's passed down from our forefathers
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depicting the process of copulation
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it's no big deal!
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Don't...
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Quit the act...
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You used to hate sex
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Last night you wouldn't let go of me!
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I want...
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You're so naughty!
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Don't laugh at me!
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No!
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Wonderful!
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You're the famous cat burglar Sai Kunlun?
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Pardon me...
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I'm an honorable man
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I pick my targets carefully
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Not the poor
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Not those holding a funeral
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Not those hosting a banquet
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Not those I've stolen from before
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No one I know
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Strangers want to get to know me
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Or fawn upon me
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it's hard to find a target these days
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Now we've become like old friends
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I don't mind telling you the truth
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I'm supposed to pursue my studies
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But I'm actually courting women
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Since you can break into anyone's house
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You can help me find my prey
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Damn! I'm late! Bye!
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I really want to come with you!
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He's weird!
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Did he pick your pocket?
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It's here!
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Is it empty?
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No, but he left me stones!
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I found your target!
122
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Big enough tits for you?
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Yes! Keep up the good work!
124
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Miss...
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Are you alright?
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Miss...did you drop this?
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- No!
- Take another look!
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Shame on you!
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Here's your money and 10% interest
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Master Sai...
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With your ability
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you can help me with women
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Help me break into their chambers
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If you help make my wish come true
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I'm willing to pay you generously
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It's risky to seduce someone's wife
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You may succeed initially
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But you'll eventually get dumped
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With my looks and talents?
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If you really want me to help you
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tell me how big is your dick?
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About this...
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When you screw a woman
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can you last half a joss stick?
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No problem!
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With aphrodisiac, I can last longer!
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00:19:22,092 --> 00:19:24,092
There's a silk shop in the west end
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The owner's wife is your cup of tea
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Go take a look!
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Just to look?
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- Maybe there's action!
- Great!
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00:20:36,064 --> 00:20:39,037
What was that noise?
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I tripped and fell down!
154
00:20:43,044 --> 00:20:44,077
Did you rip the fabric?
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No!
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No?
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No!
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- Eat!
- Sure!
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00:21:06,060 --> 00:21:08,025
Why is there no fish tonight?
160
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,084
There's none in the market!
161
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Not one fish in the entire market?
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No! Just not the kind you like!
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Speak clearly!
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Listen carefully before you answer me!
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Did you rip the fabric when you fell?
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Yes!
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Then you deserve a beating!
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I never said I won't do it!
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I just want to eat first!
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Are you done?
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Yes, thanks!
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Get over here!
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00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:34,068
Come here!
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Hurry!
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00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:41,096
What are you doing?
176
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Let you broaden your horizon!
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00:25:44,076 --> 00:25:48,008
Her husband can last 3 joss sticks!
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But you can only last half a joss stick
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Look how big his dick is!
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You may brag all you want
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But yours is tiny
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it's best used as a tooth pick!
183
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This is for over estimating your ability
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in seducing someone else's wife!
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This is for your stupidity
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I'm not a lecher
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Yet you want me help you
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Do you think I'm a pimp?
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You're right about slapping me
190
00:26:30,088 --> 00:26:33,008
But I still need your help!
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00:26:34,096 --> 00:26:35,092
You have character!
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Unless your dick is long like a horse's
193
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Master Sai...
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We've been apart for a month
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I feel lonely and sad
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I miss your hugs, kisses, screws
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My vagina feels itchy like bugs bite
198
00:27:51,032 --> 00:27:56,053
Do you know how this letter is written?
199
00:27:57,044 --> 00:27:59,080
It is written with ink
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mixed with my secretion
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Get me a knife!
202
00:29:36,020 --> 00:29:38,044
Why am I plagued with such a small dick?
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How I crave for a few more inches!
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You gave me looks and talents
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But you screwed me on the vital part!
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Damn! I'll cut you off!
207
00:30:02,056 --> 00:30:04,013
No, master! Don't!
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- Go away!
- Don't
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00:30:12,044 --> 00:30:14,024
Blood! My God!
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Did it come off?
211
00:30:17,064 --> 00:30:20,024
Not quite, why?
212
00:30:21,012 --> 00:30:22,020
Why what?
213
00:30:22,032 --> 00:30:24,008
Why is yours bigger than mine?
214
00:30:25,008 --> 00:30:26,000
Vvhy?
215
00:30:26,044 --> 00:30:29,012
I don't know! Ask my mom!
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00:30:29,084 --> 00:30:32,024
- No, Master!
- I'm asking you why?
217
00:30:42,008 --> 00:30:43,041
What's gong on?
218
00:30:43,056 --> 00:30:44,072
See for yourself!
219
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,088
Closed! Doctor Ye on vacation
220
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I'm dead!
221
00:30:54,068 --> 00:30:56,084
I'm dead!
222
00:31:01,060 --> 00:31:04,000
Specialized in broken limbs
223
00:31:04,008 --> 00:31:07,056
Tian Can Zi is open for business
224
00:31:23,096 --> 00:31:26,040
I'm looking for Tian Can Zi
225
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,021
- Please tell me...
- Say no more!
226
00:31:36,012 --> 00:31:38,052
The wound is caused by a blunt knife
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about 2 joss sticks' time ago!
228
00:31:42,016 --> 00:31:44,016
You out the vein, not the arteries
229
00:31:44,016 --> 00:31:45,084
I can cure you now
230
00:31:46,016 --> 00:31:49,052
You'll recover in 15 days, 20 taels in advance
231
00:31:54,052 --> 00:31:56,024
You have incredible skills
232
00:31:56,064 --> 00:31:57,092
It's such an eye opener
233
00:31:58,096 --> 00:32:02,008
Coaptation is my family trade for 7 generations
234
00:32:02,068 --> 00:32:03,092
Until my father
235
00:32:04,004 --> 00:32:05,028
with a stroke of luck
236
00:32:05,068 --> 00:32:08,044
found part of Hua Tuo's manual
237
00:32:09,004 --> 00:32:12,068
and learnt about surgery
238
00:32:13,072 --> 00:32:15,048
I've studied my father's work
239
00:32:15,076 --> 00:32:16,092
and branched out into transplants
240
00:32:17,044 --> 00:32:20,056
especially for sexual organs
241
00:32:21,020 --> 00:32:24,056
Transplanting an animal organ to human
242
00:32:24,092 --> 00:32:26,088
And make them man enough
243
00:32:27,016 --> 00:32:28,081
I'll be rich and famous
244
00:32:29,028 --> 00:32:30,040
Have you succeeded?
245
00:32:31,064 --> 00:32:34,008
I have mastered the basic techniques
246
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,061
- Please give me a dog's dick!
- All right!
247
00:32:39,004 --> 00:32:40,037
I don't mean you!
248
00:32:40,044 --> 00:32:42,016
Yours is too small, I won't use it!
249
00:32:42,064 --> 00:32:43,060
What about an elephant?
250
00:32:44,008 --> 00:32:47,016
That's too big!
251
00:32:48,020 --> 00:32:50,060
It'll be like having 3 legs!
252
00:32:51,056 --> 00:32:53,084
How about a horse?
253
00:32:54,004 --> 00:32:55,020
Sai Kunlun promised to help
254
00:32:55,020 --> 00:32:57,024
if my dick is long like a horse's!
255
00:32:57,068 --> 00:32:59,044
Get me a horse's dick!
256
00:33:02,056 --> 00:33:05,016
A scholar should not talk like that
257
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:07,081
Pardon me!
258
00:33:07,096 --> 00:33:11,040
You must hurry if you need a transplant
259
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:12,048
I'll be leaving in a few days
260
00:33:12,048 --> 00:33:14,013
By then, it'll be too late!
261
00:33:22,068 --> 00:33:24,080
Burn some joss sticks!
262
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,064
May Master Hua Tuo watch over us
263
00:33:28,072 --> 00:33:30,068
Bless us with a successful operation!
264
00:33:31,004 --> 00:33:33,004
Please undress!
265
00:33:48,024 --> 00:33:50,076
It better not rain tonight
266
00:33:53,092 --> 00:33:55,004
We'll start around 3 a.m.
267
00:33:55,088 --> 00:33:57,021
Why wait till then?
268
00:33:57,044 --> 00:33:58,093
All sexual organs, human or beast
269
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are most excitable before dawn!
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If we operate at this hour
271
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we'll get the best result!
272
00:34:07,020 --> 00:34:09,077
Horses get excited when they see red
273
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Here we go!
274
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This is the anaesthetic
275
00:34:17,076 --> 00:34:19,025
After you drink it
276
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You'll feel nothing below the waist
277
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:24,008
Give the wine to the horse!
278
00:34:26,048 --> 00:34:28,072
I said give this to the horse!
279
00:34:29,016 --> 00:34:31,060
Why wine and not anaesthetic?
280
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:35,028
Anaesthetics have no effect on horses
281
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,012
We'll intoxicate it with wine!
282
00:34:37,048 --> 00:34:38,097
Leave the last gulp!
283
00:34:46,060 --> 00:34:48,056
What is this?
284
00:34:49,012 --> 00:34:51,060
I learnt this from foreign books
285
00:34:51,060 --> 00:34:54,060
it's called a guillotine
286
00:34:54,084 --> 00:34:56,076
I made a small one for this operation
287
00:34:56,096 --> 00:34:58,096
Quite an investment. Let me show you!
288
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:05,048
Not bad?
289
00:35:06,064 --> 00:35:07,060
It shrunk!
290
00:35:11,004 --> 00:35:12,056
Don't be scared!
291
00:35:13,016 --> 00:35:14,008
I'm not!
292
00:35:14,016 --> 00:35:15,084
I just saw a rat!
293
00:35:16,008 --> 00:35:17,041
I'm afraid of rats!
294
00:35:18,028 --> 00:35:20,068
- I'm afraid of the rain!
- Why
295
00:35:20,092 --> 00:35:23,084
On a rainy night when I was little
296
00:35:24,064 --> 00:35:25,060
I saw with my own eyes
297
00:35:25,068 --> 00:35:27,036
my mom raped and killed
298
00:35:28,020 --> 00:35:29,096
Since then, on rainy nights
299
00:35:30,004 --> 00:35:31,080
Especially with thunder and lightning
300
00:35:32,052 --> 00:35:38,005
I'll get extremely emotional...
301
00:35:38,004 --> 00:35:39,048
Doctor...
302
00:35:40,060 --> 00:35:41,088
it'll be dawn soon
303
00:35:43,052 --> 00:35:45,004
Hold this, kid!
304
00:35:45,028 --> 00:35:46,061
Put the bottle over there
305
00:35:47,056 --> 00:35:50,053
We start before the first joss stick burns out
306
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,029
Or else it'll be useless
307
00:35:53,004 --> 00:35:54,012
What about the second one?
308
00:35:54,020 --> 00:35:56,060
We must wrap up before, the second one goes out
309
00:35:56,092 --> 00:35:57,060
Why the long face?
310
00:35:57,068 --> 00:35:59,009
Cheer up! Relax!
311
00:35:59,008 --> 00:36:00,084
I'm as relaxed as I possibly can
312
00:36:00,092 --> 00:36:06,048
Good! Let's do it!
313
00:36:07,088 --> 00:36:09,032
I've out it off
314
00:36:29,088 --> 00:36:31,088
- Is it done?
- Yes! Does it hurt
315
00:36:32,012 --> 00:36:33,020
No!
316
00:36:37,060 --> 00:36:38,096
You're useless, kid!
317
00:36:39,012 --> 00:36:41,088
Get up, you coward!
318
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:52,052
What is it?
319
00:36:52,052 --> 00:36:53,036
Nothing!
320
00:36:53,056 --> 00:36:54,072
What's going on?
321
00:36:56,016 --> 00:36:57,036
Just continue!
322
00:36:59,056 --> 00:37:01,052
He's still sober after the whole jug!
323
00:37:01,068 --> 00:37:03,033
He can certainly hold his liquor!
324
00:37:04,092 --> 00:37:06,049
Damn! We're running out of time!
325
00:37:06,056 --> 00:37:07,052
The horse is sober
326
00:37:07,060 --> 00:37:08,096
Let's do this instead
327
00:37:09,020 --> 00:37:10,072
I'll put yours back
328
00:37:11,032 --> 00:37:12,028
And do it again later?
329
00:37:12,036 --> 00:37:13,024
No!
330
00:37:13,024 --> 00:37:14,076
It's a one-off deal!
331
00:37:14,084 --> 00:37:16,004
I won't let you!
332
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:19,016
I told you we don't have time!
333
00:37:19,024 --> 00:37:21,068
You may die from the inflammation!
334
00:37:23,092 --> 00:37:26,016
Doggie, don't take that!
335
00:37:26,016 --> 00:37:27,016
Doggie!
336
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,092
Give me back my dick!
337
00:37:30,036 --> 00:37:31,048
Don't!
338
00:37:31,088 --> 00:37:36,076
Give that back to me!
339
00:37:36,096 --> 00:37:39,016
No! Give it back...
340
00:37:40,004 --> 00:37:42,028
Well? Did you get it?
341
00:37:42,064 --> 00:37:44,029
I got it back
342
00:37:46,028 --> 00:37:48,028
But this is all that's left!
343
00:37:51,056 --> 00:37:52,064
I have no choice
344
00:37:52,064 --> 00:37:54,040
We'll use the kid's dick!
345
00:37:54,052 --> 00:37:55,088
What about me?
346
00:37:55,088 --> 00:37:57,064
Be a eunuch, what else?
347
00:37:57,072 --> 00:38:00,020
Forget it! I have human rights too!
348
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:01,052
You're sold as a page boy
349
00:38:01,052 --> 00:38:02,052
You have no rights
350
00:38:02,060 --> 00:38:04,009
Human rights mean only food and clothes
351
00:38:04,008 --> 00:38:05,080
Not the right to keep your dick!
352
00:38:06,016 --> 00:38:07,004
- No!
- Take it out!
353
00:38:07,004 --> 00:38:08,072
- No!
- Come back here!
354
00:38:08,084 --> 00:38:10,008
No! I only have a small one
355
00:38:10,016 --> 00:38:11,008
Just the same
356
00:38:15,088 --> 00:38:19,085
Hurry and fetch the basin!
357
00:38:27,056 --> 00:38:28,064
Ready...
358
00:38:41,016 --> 00:38:43,024
Doctor...
359
00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:47,056
What now?
360
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,052
Get up!
361
00:39:09,068 --> 00:39:11,025
Get to work, kid!
362
00:39:12,032 --> 00:39:13,036
Let me help you!
363
00:39:15,088 --> 00:39:18,048
Why can't I move?
364
00:39:18,060 --> 00:39:19,096
I broke the jar of anaesthetic
365
00:39:19,096 --> 00:39:21,029
and poured it all over you!
366
00:39:21,096 --> 00:39:23,053
Fetch me that bottle of licorice root
367
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:24,096
Bring the basin as well!
368
00:39:26,096 --> 00:39:28,004
Pour it on my hands!
369
00:39:32,016 --> 00:39:33,012
Well?
370
00:39:35,064 --> 00:39:36,060
Nothing!
371
00:39:39,060 --> 00:39:40,004
Can't move!
372
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,020
Can't move!
373
00:39:42,064 --> 00:39:43,092
How long does it take?
374
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,088
At least half a joss stick's time
375
00:39:47,076 --> 00:39:49,009
The joss stick is burning out!
376
00:39:49,064 --> 00:39:51,092
No! I'm doomed!
377
00:39:52,024 --> 00:39:54,081
Destiny!
378
00:40:06,036 --> 00:40:08,008
You can move!
379
00:40:08,060 --> 00:40:10,096
Master, he can move!
380
00:40:11,088 --> 00:40:14,072
Stop! Don't strangle him!
381
00:40:14,092 --> 00:40:16,076
Let go!
382
00:40:31,024 --> 00:40:33,004
What kind of wine is this? Taste good!
383
00:40:37,048 --> 00:40:39,048
The rain has stopped! Get back to work!
384
00:40:46,076 --> 00:40:48,044
No sex in the next 100 days
385
00:40:48,068 --> 00:40:51,036
or else you'll be impotent!
386
00:41:01,036 --> 00:41:02,077
You sent for me
387
00:41:03,024 --> 00:41:04,048
and challenged me to a duel
388
00:41:04,068 --> 00:41:05,060
Here I am
389
00:41:05,096 --> 00:41:08,053
I'll lend you my blade. Come on!
390
00:41:09,024 --> 00:41:11,052
That's just an excuse to lure you here
391
00:41:11,096 --> 00:41:13,076
I wish to repay your kindness!
392
00:41:14,076 --> 00:41:15,084
Are you being sarcastic?
393
00:41:16,068 --> 00:41:19,004
No! You're a man of your word
394
00:41:19,064 --> 00:41:21,088
That's right!
395
00:41:22,084 --> 00:41:25,060
When you lectured me
396
00:41:25,068 --> 00:41:26,096
what was the last thing you said?
397
00:41:29,004 --> 00:41:32,096
I'll give you a good beating
398
00:41:34,084 --> 00:41:36,012
Any tips?
399
00:41:37,016 --> 00:41:38,028
Something to do with horses!
400
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,084
- Horse racing?
- No!
401
00:41:43,072 --> 00:41:47,061
Horse's dick! You have one?
402
00:41:48,084 --> 00:41:50,020
Boy! Sound the gong!
403
00:41:52,052 --> 00:41:56,076
Damn! You can't fool me with that rod!
404
00:42:00,012 --> 00:42:01,084
It looks like a horse's dick
405
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:06,012
But that can't be real!
406
00:42:10,036 --> 00:42:11,072
It's real!
407
00:42:13,020 --> 00:42:14,069
There's a scar at the base
408
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:19,012
It also has a different skin color
409
00:42:20,072 --> 00:42:22,060
How did you do it?
410
00:42:22,076 --> 00:42:24,025
You have a discerning eye
411
00:42:24,076 --> 00:42:26,092
This is a genuine horse dick
412
00:42:27,004 --> 00:42:28,096
I met a surgeon who transplanted it!
413
00:42:30,008 --> 00:42:33,072
You have guts, my friend!
414
00:42:33,092 --> 00:42:35,044
I admire you...
415
00:42:36,032 --> 00:42:38,036
Get it up! Show me!
416
00:42:38,036 --> 00:42:39,060
No problem!
417
00:42:54,064 --> 00:42:57,048
Give him a hand, kid!
418
00:43:11,044 --> 00:43:13,048
Use your mouth!
419
00:43:25,068 --> 00:43:27,068
You went through hell for this?
420
00:43:27,076 --> 00:43:29,052
You're finished, pal!
421
00:43:30,052 --> 00:43:33,041
I wish I can help!
422
00:43:35,024 --> 00:43:37,084
It's useless!
423
00:43:38,012 --> 00:43:41,040
Save your breath, kid!
424
00:43:46,016 --> 00:43:49,000
Before it rots
425
00:43:49,008 --> 00:43:50,052
you better cut if off!
426
00:43:51,012 --> 00:43:55,025
Or else the poison will go to your heart
427
00:43:55,088 --> 00:43:59,000
I can help you with that!
428
00:44:11,024 --> 00:44:12,068
- Come on!
- Wait...
429
00:44:13,052 --> 00:44:15,048
Keep waving the blade
430
00:44:16,056 --> 00:44:17,056
Are you kidding?
431
00:44:17,084 --> 00:44:22,032
I feel something! Go on!
432
00:44:22,096 --> 00:44:25,004
You get excited from waving the blade?
433
00:44:25,044 --> 00:44:26,040
Yes!
434
00:44:26,072 --> 00:44:28,021
Let's try...
435
00:44:44,032 --> 00:44:45,028
Yes!
436
00:44:45,036 --> 00:44:47,032
Go on!
437
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:50,016
Keep going! Don't stop!
438
00:45:01,016 --> 00:45:03,004
My master never told me
439
00:45:03,012 --> 00:45:05,008
this secret about the blade!
440
00:45:43,064 --> 00:45:46,000
Can I help you?
441
00:45:46,092 --> 00:45:49,084
I want white silk
442
00:45:50,012 --> 00:45:51,012
Do you have any?
443
00:45:51,032 --> 00:45:53,032
Yes! Have a seat!
444
00:46:13,032 --> 00:46:15,060
This is not white enough
445
00:46:16,012 --> 00:46:20,001
We have the whitest silk
446
00:46:22,012 --> 00:46:24,060
I see! Compared to your hands
447
00:46:24,060 --> 00:46:26,036
the silk is yellow!
448
00:46:28,016 --> 00:46:29,073
Everything is a matter of matching
449
00:46:30,044 --> 00:46:32,048
With your stunning beauty
450
00:46:32,096 --> 00:46:34,000
In my opinion
451
00:46:34,012 --> 00:46:36,096
You should marry someone with
452
00:46:37,020 --> 00:46:41,009
my good looks and talents
453
00:46:46,048 --> 00:46:49,088
If you marry a brute
454
00:46:50,048 --> 00:46:53,072
who beats you and lets you go hungry
455
00:46:54,020 --> 00:46:55,064
And makes you do strenuous work
456
00:46:56,008 --> 00:46:58,024
until your fingers bleed
457
00:46:59,052 --> 00:47:00,093
that would be like...
458
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,057
A flower on a pile of cow dung
459
00:47:06,060 --> 00:47:10,004
Just like your vulgar husband
460
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:13,064
You bastard!
461
00:47:16,068 --> 00:47:17,080
I'll kill you!
462
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:27,072
I'm come see you again!
463
00:47:34,084 --> 00:47:35,076
Come back!
464
00:47:39,096 --> 00:47:41,064
Damn it! Are you blind?
465
00:47:41,064 --> 00:47:43,052
You stepped on my foot!
466
00:47:56,028 --> 00:47:57,020
Do you own the street?
467
00:47:57,048 --> 00:48:00,000
Sorry! it's my fault!
468
00:48:00,032 --> 00:48:03,072
I didn't see you! Sorry!
469
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,044
Get lost!
470
00:48:19,036 --> 00:48:21,024
It hurts!
471
00:48:24,052 --> 00:48:25,064
I'll be gone for 10 days
472
00:48:26,044 --> 00:48:29,080
If I find you with another man,
I'll wring your head off!
473
00:48:32,048 --> 00:48:33,072
I don't trust her
474
00:48:38,028 --> 00:48:39,040
Come in
475
00:49:10,012 --> 00:49:13,092
You have left an indelible impression
476
00:49:14,052 --> 00:49:17,033
"l feel bad about your beating by
that vulgar man"
477
00:49:18,044 --> 00:49:20,020
I'm sending you medicine
478
00:49:20,028 --> 00:49:22,064
It is quite effective
479
00:49:23,064 --> 00:49:25,000
I'll drop by at midnight tonight
480
00:49:25,044 --> 00:49:27,048
with food and wine
481
00:49:28,044 --> 00:49:29,080
We can bare our souls
482
00:49:30,036 --> 00:49:32,076
and recite poetry
483
00:49:33,028 --> 00:49:34,040
Yours sincerely...
484
00:49:50,068 --> 00:49:54,044
Have pity on my Iovesickness
485
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:02,076
I'm a virtuous woman
486
00:50:03,052 --> 00:50:05,001
I'm not that casual
487
00:50:05,092 --> 00:50:08,057
I bear gifts for you
488
00:50:08,064 --> 00:50:10,005
as well as food and wine
489
00:50:10,012 --> 00:50:13,028
All I ask is a drink and a chat
490
00:50:28,032 --> 00:50:32,040
No!I can%
491
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,092
I can't believe this is a coincidence!
492
00:50:35,092 --> 00:50:37,041
See for yourself!
493
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:49,092
My husband has the key
494
00:50:57,072 --> 00:51:00,024
This is my friend Sai Kunlun
495
00:51:00,032 --> 00:51:01,084
He's a famous locksmith
496
00:54:45,056 --> 00:54:47,005
This is delicious!
497
00:54:47,012 --> 00:54:48,016
Put it down!
498
00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:58,044
Go away!
499
00:55:12,044 --> 00:55:16,008
You helped this lecher seduce my wife
500
00:55:16,044 --> 00:55:18,040
and made me a cuckold!
501
00:55:18,076 --> 00:55:21,020
I've become a laughing stock
502
00:55:21,052 --> 00:55:24,064
I can't beat you
503
00:55:25,004 --> 00:55:27,008
But have a heart!
504
00:55:27,076 --> 00:55:30,036
I'll fight back if you corner me!
505
00:55:30,088 --> 00:55:33,000
Now in front of my friends and relatives
506
00:55:33,044 --> 00:55:35,064
We must resolve this
507
00:55:39,060 --> 00:55:40,084
I don't want any trouble
508
00:55:41,068 --> 00:55:44,016
Have him give me 100 taels of silver
509
00:55:44,076 --> 00:55:46,080
I'll sell him my wife
510
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:48,088
And I'll leave here for good!
511
00:55:49,036 --> 00:55:51,020
If you won't do this
512
00:55:51,052 --> 00:55:53,052
You might as well kill me!
513
00:55:53,096 --> 00:55:55,040
- Damn!
- Spineless wretch!
514
00:56:10,016 --> 00:56:13,064
I'm resuming my post in the capital
515
00:56:13,076 --> 00:56:16,080
I won't have leave for at least 6 months
516
00:56:17,020 --> 00:56:19,096
I don't mind if you serve the Emperor
517
00:56:20,012 --> 00:56:22,036
You better not go whoring!
518
00:56:22,056 --> 00:56:23,076
Is that what you think of me?
519
00:56:23,084 --> 00:56:26,065
You contracted gonorrhea last time
520
00:56:27,004 --> 00:56:29,028
and lied about it!
521
00:56:29,036 --> 00:56:30,056
You played me for a fool!
522
00:56:31,072 --> 00:56:33,096
I made this for you
523
00:56:34,004 --> 00:56:35,096
Wear it if you go whoring
524
00:56:36,032 --> 00:56:38,072
I'll kill you if you contract anything
525
00:56:40,052 --> 00:56:41,088
This size doesn't fit!
526
00:56:42,024 --> 00:56:44,032
This is tailor made for you
527
00:56:44,052 --> 00:56:46,012
it'll fit your dick!
528
00:56:46,068 --> 00:56:48,068
It's not that crooked!
529
00:59:36,072 --> 00:59:40,077
I know you're bisexual
530
00:59:41,096 --> 00:59:44,064
I really don't understand
531
00:59:44,072 --> 00:59:46,029
How can your husband satisfy you?
532
00:59:46,096 --> 00:59:48,092
Is his dick crooked?
533
01:00:01,076 --> 01:00:02,072
Whip me!
534
01:02:13,020 --> 01:02:15,052
What were you doing with the pen?
535
01:02:18,012 --> 01:02:19,080
Painting!
536
01:02:19,092 --> 01:02:21,096
You paint lying down?
537
01:02:24,084 --> 01:02:28,084
What's this garbage?
538
01:02:29,056 --> 01:02:30,044
It's secretion
539
01:02:31,020 --> 01:02:33,048
I mean...it's ink and wash
540
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,020
Ink and wash?
541
01:02:37,064 --> 01:02:39,068
What's so secretive?
542
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:43,008
Why close all the windows?
543
01:02:51,056 --> 01:02:52,072
Pornographic painting!
544
01:03:04,004 --> 01:03:05,028
This is outrageous!
545
01:03:06,096 --> 01:03:08,040
What have I taught you?
546
01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:09,092
You read this trash
547
01:03:10,020 --> 01:03:12,044
while you write this filth?
548
01:03:12,044 --> 01:03:13,060
Master!
549
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:16,068
Where have you been?
550
01:03:17,012 --> 01:03:19,028
I brought Wang Qi to meet the mistress
551
01:03:19,048 --> 01:03:20,048
Really?
552
01:03:22,068 --> 01:03:23,052
Master
553
01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:25,032
This is the young mistress
554
01:03:25,096 --> 01:03:26,084
Hello!
555
01:03:29,004 --> 01:03:31,072
Wang Qi is the new gardener
556
01:03:32,020 --> 01:03:35,072
You're not allowed inside the chamber
557
01:03:35,088 --> 01:03:38,085
Or I'll have you locked up!
558
01:03:38,096 --> 01:03:39,096
Yes, sir!
559
01:03:40,004 --> 01:03:41,084
- Get back to work!
- Yes!
560
01:03:45,040 --> 01:03:46,040
Kneel down!
561
01:03:52,008 --> 01:03:55,000
Read Zhu Zhi's Four Books on discipline
562
01:03:55,008 --> 01:03:56,044
Don't get up until you memorized it!
563
01:03:57,056 --> 01:03:58,044
You!
564
01:04:00,052 --> 01:04:03,025
You should have told me about her
565
01:04:03,088 --> 01:04:05,008
Put out your hand!
566
01:04:07,036 --> 01:04:08,036
The other one!
567
01:04:11,008 --> 01:04:12,032
You'll have to kneel too!
568
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:31,072
Madam
569
01:07:32,088 --> 01:07:33,060
What is it?
570
01:07:33,068 --> 01:07:35,084
Your cousin is barging in
571
01:07:35,084 --> 01:07:36,072
I'm unable to stop her!
572
01:07:36,072 --> 01:07:38,056
Hide...
573
01:07:39,068 --> 01:07:40,028
Over here!
574
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:41,084
Help me!
575
01:07:43,084 --> 01:07:45,020
Take out the calligraphy and painting
576
01:07:48,036 --> 01:07:50,032
Hurry...
577
01:07:56,084 --> 01:07:58,056
You haven't visited me for a long time
578
01:08:02,020 --> 01:08:06,009
Your husband is away, are you lonely?
579
01:08:12,060 --> 01:08:14,028
Why are these on the bed?
580
01:08:15,020 --> 01:08:16,085
I want to dry them under the sun
581
01:08:24,028 --> 01:08:26,088
So the trunk is empty
582
01:08:28,012 --> 01:08:29,053
There are stones inside
583
01:08:35,016 --> 01:08:39,088
We agreed to stick together through thick and thin
584
01:08:40,020 --> 01:08:41,004
Yes!
585
01:08:41,012 --> 01:08:42,096
If you have something good
586
01:08:42,096 --> 01:08:45,088
Should you share it with me?
587
01:08:46,012 --> 01:08:47,008
Yes!
588
01:08:50,052 --> 01:08:53,036
Did you come across a giant dick?
589
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:56,068
I don't know what you're talking about
590
01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:04,081
He left last night
591
01:09:05,040 --> 01:09:06,076
You're too late!
592
01:09:26,056 --> 01:09:28,016
What kind of juice is this?
593
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:33,012
It's still warm
594
01:10:28,016 --> 01:10:29,057
Wait on him
595
01:10:34,084 --> 01:10:35,084
Where am I?
596
01:10:36,012 --> 01:10:38,028
This room is connected to
597
01:10:38,028 --> 01:10:39,040
Rui Zhu's room next door
598
01:10:39,040 --> 01:10:40,092
Our mistress is Hua Chen
599
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:42,028
She's Rui Zhu's cousin
600
01:10:42,068 --> 01:10:44,088
She became a widow after 2 years
601
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:46,000
There's a rumor going on
602
01:10:46,008 --> 01:10:47,060
our master died from over indulgence
603
01:10:47,072 --> 01:10:50,080
in sexual pleasures! That's not true!
604
01:15:31,028 --> 01:15:34,012
As I know more about life
605
01:15:34,056 --> 01:15:36,080
and my husband is on the road
606
01:15:37,012 --> 01:15:39,077
My loneliness becomes unbearable
607
01:15:40,032 --> 01:15:43,016
I had an affair with Wang Qi
608
01:15:43,068 --> 01:15:45,040
And is now bearing his child
609
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:49,040
I'm ashamed to see you
610
01:15:49,084 --> 01:15:53,036
So I must leave you
611
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:55,076
I'll pray to Heaven
612
01:15:56,020 --> 01:15:59,064
And wish for your health and longevity
613
01:16:00,024 --> 01:16:03,048
Your unfilial daughter, Yu Xiang
614
01:16:22,076 --> 01:16:25,060
Have some tea
615
01:16:28,044 --> 01:16:30,028
I hired a palanquin for you
616
01:16:30,084 --> 01:16:32,036
So the trip won't be too difficult
617
01:16:50,092 --> 01:16:53,057
Be careful, don't make it too bumpy!
618
01:17:01,076 --> 01:17:03,068
What are you doing?
619
01:17:03,076 --> 01:17:07,040
Help me! Wang Qi!
620
01:17:07,080 --> 01:17:09,076
Wang Qi, help!
621
01:17:11,036 --> 01:17:13,028
Where are you, Wang Qi?
622
01:17:13,060 --> 01:17:15,040
Let me go!
623
01:17:24,012 --> 01:17:25,096
Who are you? What are you doing?
624
01:17:26,072 --> 01:17:31,044
I'm Gu Xian Niang
625
01:17:32,012 --> 01:17:34,060
Your husband sold you to our brothel
626
01:17:35,032 --> 01:17:37,044
Here's the contract
627
01:17:42,032 --> 01:17:47,008
Don't! I'm pregnant!
628
01:17:47,016 --> 01:17:50,005
Precisely because you're pregnant
629
01:17:50,060 --> 01:17:53,088
The herbal tea you took
630
01:17:54,012 --> 01:17:56,016
is to induce an abortion!
631
01:17:56,096 --> 01:17:58,064
The massage
632
01:17:58,072 --> 01:18:02,012
is to help you abort the baby!
633
01:18:03,080 --> 01:18:08,093
No! Let me go! Help!
634
01:18:37,032 --> 01:18:39,024
Your Majesty, the rebels are in pursuit
635
01:18:42,056 --> 01:18:44,032
The tyrant Wei Yang Sheng
636
01:18:44,040 --> 01:18:45,040
raped women
637
01:18:45,048 --> 01:18:46,056
and massacred common people
638
01:18:46,064 --> 01:18:48,060
By virtue of the mandate from Heaven
639
01:18:48,068 --> 01:18:50,056
the tyrant is sentenced to
640
01:18:50,064 --> 01:18:54,012
torture and rape until death
641
01:21:01,076 --> 01:21:04,024
No! This is too crazy!
642
01:21:04,088 --> 01:21:05,072
Tyrant!
643
01:21:06,020 --> 01:21:08,068
You took a horse's dick
644
01:21:09,040 --> 01:21:12,013
The mare will be reunited with its mate
645
01:21:17,060 --> 01:21:19,080
No! Help!
646
01:21:23,044 --> 01:21:27,065
You only focus on 2 points
647
01:21:27,088 --> 01:21:29,024
and 4 positions
648
01:21:29,096 --> 01:21:32,072
First, write with your vagina
649
01:21:33,084 --> 01:21:37,012
regardless of the size of the words
650
01:21:37,048 --> 01:21:39,048
they must appear to be written by hand
651
01:21:40,072 --> 01:21:44,064
This will train your vagina
652
01:21:46,004 --> 01:21:48,072
and your waist
653
01:21:49,088 --> 01:21:53,012
Second, practice with your tongue
654
01:21:57,004 --> 01:22:00,012
taste the gall
655
01:22:01,008 --> 01:22:06,024
If you can tolerate the bitterness
656
01:22:06,064 --> 01:22:08,013
YOU Can OVSFCOITIG
657
01:22:08,012 --> 01:22:11,012
the odor from any body parts
658
01:22:16,028 --> 01:22:18,032
During this process
659
01:22:19,012 --> 01:22:21,069
your abdomen will contract
660
01:22:23,044 --> 01:22:26,068
This is a good practice
661
01:22:32,092 --> 01:22:37,048
When you accomplish all this
662
01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:41,076
You can revive your patrons
663
01:22:41,084 --> 01:22:43,041
Help them feel like a man again!
664
01:22:43,092 --> 01:22:46,068
If you possess this unique skill
665
01:22:47,036 --> 01:22:51,060
You'll be the top prostitute
666
01:23:11,056 --> 01:23:14,053
Watch your step
667
01:23:19,004 --> 01:23:20,045
I can see
668
01:23:20,092 --> 01:23:23,068
I'm not blind
669
01:23:25,016 --> 01:23:26,052
Be careful!
670
01:23:26,092 --> 01:23:29,092
They want me to give you this!
671
01:23:31,000 --> 01:23:32,088
My husband's sudden return
672
01:23:33,012 --> 01:23:34,077
forces me to part with you
673
01:23:34,092 --> 01:23:35,088
I miss you
674
01:23:35,096 --> 01:23:38,000
I'm losing appetite and sleep
675
01:23:38,032 --> 01:23:39,040
My husband tells me
676
01:23:39,056 --> 01:23:42,056
There's a famous doctor
677
01:23:42,084 --> 01:23:44,068
who can revive any man!
678
01:23:45,008 --> 01:23:47,081
Cure your imperial dick
679
01:23:48,016 --> 01:23:50,052
And when my husband leaves
680
01:23:50,084 --> 01:23:52,068
We can copulate again
681
01:23:53,008 --> 01:23:55,068
My cousin has prepared a surprise
682
01:23:56,020 --> 01:23:58,085
Your lover, Rui Zhu
683
01:24:00,004 --> 01:24:01,088
We'll visit the capital
684
01:24:02,036 --> 01:24:04,032
Would you like to come?
685
01:24:05,064 --> 01:24:06,048
I can't!
686
01:24:06,084 --> 01:24:10,020
A constable by the name of Iron Hand
687
01:24:10,028 --> 01:24:11,072
has come after me
688
01:24:12,048 --> 01:24:14,088
I must stay and challenge him to a duel
689
01:24:19,096 --> 01:24:21,053
What does the sign say?
690
01:24:22,008 --> 01:24:23,076
Chamber of Revolving Heaven
691
01:24:25,084 --> 01:24:27,084
Please come in, Master Cai
692
01:24:43,096 --> 01:24:45,004
Please sit down!
693
01:24:46,040 --> 01:24:47,048
Take your time!
694
01:25:17,036 --> 01:25:18,093
Here comes the doctor!
695
01:25:46,076 --> 01:25:49,000
This is Master Cai from Kaifeng
696
01:25:50,092 --> 01:25:52,028
How are you?
697
01:25:54,028 --> 01:25:56,008
We'll help you undress!
698
01:25:56,028 --> 01:25:57,088
Let the doctor examine you!
699
01:26:13,024 --> 01:26:15,036
He can't be my husband, he's too big!
700
01:26:26,008 --> 01:26:28,052
Well? How am I?
701
01:26:30,016 --> 01:26:31,057
You have a great gift
702
01:26:31,080 --> 01:26:33,021
But your over indulgence
703
01:26:33,052 --> 01:26:35,009
has resulted in kidney failure
704
01:26:35,076 --> 01:26:38,080
I can cure you with medicine
705
01:26:39,020 --> 01:26:40,069
You'll be well in no time
706
01:26:42,012 --> 01:26:44,036
She sounds like my wife
707
01:28:14,096 --> 01:28:15,088
This doesn't work!
708
01:28:16,044 --> 01:28:19,028
You have something incredible
709
01:28:20,048 --> 01:28:22,056
it's responding to my treatment
710
01:28:22,068 --> 01:28:24,020
But not quite
711
01:28:24,096 --> 01:28:28,032
If you wear a red scarf and try again
712
01:28:28,040 --> 01:28:30,092
I guarantee it'll work
713
01:28:31,000 --> 01:28:32,052
Red scarf?
714
01:28:32,060 --> 01:28:36,068
This is a transplant
715
01:28:37,016 --> 01:28:38,008
It used to be...
716
01:28:38,008 --> 01:28:39,057
...tiny, right?
717
01:28:39,080 --> 01:28:40,072
How do you know?
718
01:28:41,068 --> 01:28:43,076
Just a wild guess!
719
01:28:52,016 --> 01:28:53,036
It's you!
720
01:28:54,068 --> 01:28:57,012
I knew when I grabbed your tits
721
01:28:57,028 --> 01:28:58,069
In this world
722
01:28:58,076 --> 01:29:01,073
Only my wife has a petite body
723
01:29:01,072 --> 01:29:03,016
and tits the size of water melons
724
01:29:07,060 --> 01:29:11,024
You bitch! I taught you the techniques
725
01:29:11,072 --> 01:29:13,037
Now you're using them
726
01:29:13,076 --> 01:29:15,044
as a prostitute!
727
01:29:23,056 --> 01:29:25,000
Don't!
728
01:29:27,032 --> 01:29:28,056
Don't!
729
01:29:29,092 --> 01:29:31,000
Come back!
730
01:29:37,024 --> 01:29:38,020
Come back!
731
01:29:38,028 --> 01:29:40,040
Sir!
732
01:29:43,068 --> 01:29:44,068
Come back!
733
01:29:46,028 --> 01:29:48,085
- Sir!
- Come out, bitch
734
01:29:48,092 --> 01:29:49,084
No!
735
01:29:49,092 --> 01:29:50,096
Come on out!
736
01:29:51,004 --> 01:29:53,000
I'll strip you
737
01:29:53,052 --> 01:29:55,009
Parade you through the streets in a cage
738
01:29:55,024 --> 01:29:59,029
And bring shame to your moralist father
739
01:29:59,076 --> 01:30:00,048
Who are you?
740
01:30:01,012 --> 01:30:02,012
How dare you start trouble here?
741
01:30:02,020 --> 01:30:04,016
The commander is my patron
742
01:30:04,040 --> 01:30:05,073
She's my wife
743
01:30:06,072 --> 01:30:09,096
I'll sue you for kidnapping
744
01:30:10,032 --> 01:30:11,028
Move away!
745
01:30:11,080 --> 01:30:14,088
Qiu Yan, don't worry!
746
01:30:15,028 --> 01:30:16,077
Break in!
747
01:30:21,020 --> 01:30:26,052
Qiu Yan...you silly girl!
748
01:30:27,084 --> 01:30:30,036
Bring me a stool...let her down
749
01:30:37,060 --> 01:30:40,036
She's dead...
750
01:30:42,012 --> 01:30:43,020
You're in trouble!
751
01:31:11,000 --> 01:31:14,092
I know my mistakes now, Master
752
01:31:16,000 --> 01:31:17,065
I believe in retribution
753
01:31:20,032 --> 01:31:24,012
I've done many evil deeds
754
01:31:24,056 --> 01:31:28,096
I lost my hands in the duel
755
01:31:29,032 --> 01:31:32,029
I must go in hiding
756
01:31:33,096 --> 01:31:36,080
I know my mistakes
757
01:31:39,084 --> 01:31:42,041
You have returned
758
01:31:44,000 --> 01:31:45,084
Please let me stay here
759
01:31:46,028 --> 01:31:51,016
You'll be tonsured and named Wanshi
760
01:31:51,064 --> 01:31:53,016
Please take me in as well
761
01:31:53,092 --> 01:31:57,004
Face the wall and meditate
762
01:31:57,092 --> 01:31:59,025
Summon Kumeng
763
01:32:01,092 --> 01:32:05,081
Have you made peace?
764
01:32:06,040 --> 01:32:09,064
Whenever I close my eyes
765
01:32:10,024 --> 01:32:12,076
I see Yu Xiang's baby
766
01:32:13,008 --> 01:32:16,024
coming at me for revenge
767
01:32:16,056 --> 01:32:18,048
Wanshi, turn around
768
01:32:19,072 --> 01:32:21,068
Do you know each other?
769
01:32:28,032 --> 01:32:30,064
Today you get retribution for yesterday's crimes
770
01:32:31,000 --> 01:32:33,040
Tomorrow, you get retribution for today's crimes
771
01:32:34,016 --> 01:32:37,013
Love and hate perpetuate retribution
772
01:32:37,040 --> 01:32:40,024
Set aside your hatred, be your true self
773
01:32:40,060 --> 01:32:42,032
Understand?
49063
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