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1
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? Mary's boy child ?
2
00:00:02,894 --> 00:00:04,734
? Jesus Christ ?
3
00:00:04,799 --> 00:00:09,399
? Was born on Christmas Day ?
4
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:14,720
? And man will live for evermore ?
5
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:19,652
? Because of Christmas Day ?
6
00:00:20,168 --> 00:00:23,275
"Dear Walter.
Merry Christmas from Sierra Leone.
7
00:00:23,522 --> 00:00:26,926
Is the nativity scene
your grandfather made on display?"
8
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:31,337
Of course, Mama. It's been our pride
and joy every Christmas for 13 years.
9
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,054
"I hope you are having a wonderful
time eating figgy pudding
10
00:00:35,090 --> 00:00:36,404
and watching the Queen's speech."
11
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,150
- Eating what?
- What is figgy pudding?
12
00:00:38,186 --> 00:00:40,600
I don't know. I'm not eating that.
13
00:00:40,636 --> 00:00:43,156
- Oh, what is going on?
- (MUSIC SLOWS)
14
00:00:44,555 --> 00:00:46,747
- Did you touch it?
- "Speaking of the Queen,
15
00:00:46,783 --> 00:00:48,906
"can you send me a �10 note
16
00:00:49,495 --> 00:00:52,924
so I can see Her Majesty's
latest hairstyle?"
17
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,800
- Tell her it's the same as the �5 note.
- (CHUCKLES)
18
00:00:56,400 --> 00:01:00,120
Oh. What is going on? This bloody thing.
19
00:01:00,156 --> 00:01:03,107
- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
- (SCREAMS) Oh! Wow.
20
00:01:03,376 --> 00:01:05,567
You think I put one
too many plugs there?
21
00:01:05,603 --> 00:01:07,082
I told you, this is a hazard.
22
00:01:07,118 --> 00:01:08,552
- It's not.
- It is a hazard.
23
00:01:08,588 --> 00:01:11,942
- I've done this many times.
- There's about 123 plugs in one socket.
24
00:01:11,978 --> 00:01:13,682
It's a fuse. Bagpipes!
25
00:01:15,192 --> 00:01:19,192
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
26
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,487
It's quite a technical
consumer unit, this.
27
00:01:24,871 --> 00:01:27,538
Luckily, I'm an expert.
28
00:01:27,717 --> 00:01:30,077
(ALL CHEER)
29
00:01:30,113 --> 00:01:30,913
Thank you.
30
00:01:30,949 --> 00:01:33,804
Blimey! Are you trying to
signal the three wise men?
31
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:37,360
- It's like Danny La Rue's shed in here.
- I think it's lovely!
32
00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:39,558
- Thank you.
- Old Scrooge Delacroix over there
33
00:01:39,594 --> 00:01:41,265
there won't even shell out for a tree.
34
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,680
- I got a tree!
- More of a branch.
35
00:01:43,716 --> 00:01:47,097
Are you coming to the party?
Huh? Walter is cooking.
36
00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:48,384
Sierra Leonean feast.
37
00:01:48,498 --> 00:01:50,589
- Hm!
- Oh! You hear that, love?
38
00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:53,958
While you're inhaling cheese, Walter
will be sweating away in the kitchen.
39
00:01:53,994 --> 00:01:55,540
Oi! I do my bit.
40
00:01:55,576 --> 00:01:59,296
- Yeah, your bit to dent the sofa!
- No, actually,
41
00:01:59,621 --> 00:02:01,815
I just told Walter...
42
00:02:02,094 --> 00:02:05,849
that I'm gonna be bringing some food
round to the party, right? Yeah.
43
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:06,865
Yeah.
44
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:11,560
Yes, I'm gonna be bringing round
a... a smorgasbord
45
00:02:11,596 --> 00:02:14,033
of traditional British, er, grub.
46
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:17,974
- What is a smorgasbord?
- Well, it's like, it's, er, Swedish.
47
00:02:18,496 --> 00:02:22,616
Er, it's basically, like,
the sort of Volvo of buffets.
48
00:02:22,652 --> 00:02:26,852
Er, it's... very practical,
erm, but British.
49
00:02:26,987 --> 00:02:29,051
- What?
- Anyway, so when's the party again?
50
00:02:29,087 --> 00:02:30,147
Tomorrow.
51
00:02:30,476 --> 00:02:33,556
- Christmas Eve! (LAUGHS)
- Oh, shit.
52
00:02:33,592 --> 00:02:34,664
What, you not ready?
53
00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:36,488
(ALL LAUGH)
54
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:39,947
- It's got... Oh, dear!
- Oi!
55
00:02:40,190 --> 00:02:42,950
? Rocking around the Christmas tree ?
56
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:46,150
? At the Christmas party hop ?
57
00:02:46,186 --> 00:02:49,826
? Mistletoe hung where you can see... ?
58
00:02:49,935 --> 00:02:53,412
Can you believe the Forestry
Commission just gave that away?
59
00:02:53,546 --> 00:02:54,605
Yes!
60
00:02:54,804 --> 00:02:56,626
Oh, can't we just get a fake one?
61
00:02:56,676 --> 00:03:00,044
No! With a fake one,
you don't get the pine scent, do you?
62
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,880
That little bit of Norway
in your living room.
63
00:03:02,113 --> 00:03:04,475
Get a fake one and sprinkle
Shake n' Vac on it.
64
00:03:04,511 --> 00:03:06,628
It'd be pine fresh and
it'd look like snow.
65
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,112
That is actually brilliant.
66
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,331
Hold on,
why is he wearing school uniform?
67
00:03:12,513 --> 00:03:15,073
I've got a plan with Kobna.
We've gotta look smart.
68
00:03:15,234 --> 00:03:17,634
? Singing let's be jolly ?
69
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,640
? Deck the halls with bows... ?
70
00:03:19,676 --> 00:03:22,276
Oi, Dean, why do I need the uniform?
71
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,560
Cos you and I are going carol singing.
72
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:28,000
- Isn't that a little kid's thing?
- No, it's a money-making thing.
73
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,413
Christine Hollis at school
told me her cousin did it
74
00:03:30,449 --> 00:03:31,579
and bought a car with the money.
75
00:03:31,615 --> 00:03:32,862
Yeah, all right.
76
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,746
You calling Christine Hollis a liar?
77
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,916
Well, she did say Boy
George was her dad.
78
00:03:37,604 --> 00:03:39,628
- Don't come, then.
- Wait, wait.
79
00:03:40,141 --> 00:03:42,430
- Did you say big money?
- Mm-hm.
80
00:03:42,535 --> 00:03:44,016
I guess we'll go carol singing, then.
81
00:03:50,785 --> 00:03:54,617
Old Elsie is always in. Just
remember to smile and look cute.
82
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,000
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
83
00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:00,520
BOTH: ? We wish you a merry Christmas ?
84
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:04,280
? We wish you a merry Christmas ?
85
00:04:04,316 --> 00:04:07,956
- ? We wish, er, and a happy New Year ?
- ? Happy... ?
86
00:04:07,992 --> 00:04:10,272
- Merry Christmas.
- Can we have money, please?
87
00:04:13,534 --> 00:04:14,980
Maybe she's an atheist.
88
00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:19,320
- (BOTH) ? God rest ye merry gentlemen ?
- (DOG BARKS)
89
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,840
? Let nothing you dismay ?
90
00:04:23,977 --> 00:04:24,957
No!
91
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,411
Hey! Is the pub doing breakfast
now, Vic? (CHUCKLES)
92
00:04:38,370 --> 00:04:40,309
A little favour from Frank.
93
00:04:40,494 --> 00:04:45,014
I'm off to the cemetery now to give
Sheila a little, er, Christmas drink.
94
00:04:45,361 --> 00:04:48,949
- Wouldn't a bottle be easier, mate?
- She only likes draught.
95
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:53,466
Here, Vic, erm, if you need a spot
of company, our door's always open.
96
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,025
I mean, not literally.
97
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:57,511
We like to keep our telly.
But, you know, the bell works.
98
00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,747
- Are you doing tripe?
- Er, no.
99
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:02,755
I'll have to think about that, then.
100
00:05:03,212 --> 00:05:05,732
Hey, I must go. I have to work, huh?
101
00:05:05,768 --> 00:05:08,667
- Working Christmas Eve? Bad luck, mate.
- Mm.
102
00:05:08,703 --> 00:05:11,354
I need the money for Kobna's
very special present.
103
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:14,098
Well, you do what you have to
when money's tight, don't you?
104
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,440
KIDS: Santa! Santa! Santa!
105
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,720
Santa! Santa! Santa!
106
00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:29,999
Hey! Welcome! Welcome! Ah! Uncle!
107
00:05:30,238 --> 00:05:33,478
All of those stairs to get here.
Ooh, my feet!
108
00:05:33,677 --> 00:05:36,437
- Oh, do you still have your foot spa, Agnes?
- No.
109
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,160
Somebody borrowed it, I think.
110
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,680
Oh! It's very, very relaxing.
111
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:45,640
- Perhaps Kobna can go and fetch it.
- Hello!
112
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,600
(HUMS)
113
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:50,752
There we go.
114
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:53,971
Oh, no.
115
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,948
How's your smorgasbord getting on?
116
00:05:56,984 --> 00:05:58,555
- You want me to take over?
- No.
117
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,320
A Delacroix never, ever, ever gives up.
118
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:02,827
Well, not always.
119
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:06,809
There's too much flour in here.
Why didn't you use a mixer, eh?
120
00:06:07,054 --> 00:06:10,094
Look, Kirsty, it's all
under control, all right?
121
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,127
Je suis la galloping gourmet.
122
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,480
- (REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS)
- Hey! That's what I'm saying!
123
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:21,160
Oh! Oh!
124
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,120
Hey! Look at them! A-ha!
125
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,480
Hey, welcome, my daughter!
126
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,880
Come and sit down! Yes!
127
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:31,856
Are you sure you are only
seven months, eh? You are big!
128
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,480
Yes! I carry a lot of fluid.
129
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,600
You take after your father.
130
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:42,600
The Lord has seen fit to provide
refreshment. Who am I to deny him?
131
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,520
(ALL LAUGH)
132
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,800
Pregnancy, dear, easy.
133
00:06:46,836 --> 00:06:49,577
Now, the childbirth, though, oh!
134
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:52,828
- These days, I wee when I laugh.
- Hey!
135
00:06:52,864 --> 00:06:57,184
- And the piles! Ooh!
- Come and help me clear these glasses!
136
00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:58,891
Am I lying?
137
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,214
(SCREECHES) My back.
138
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,041
(SQUEALS) I told you.
139
00:07:05,077 --> 00:07:06,955
(ALL LAUGH)
140
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,109
Empty glasses are forbidden
in this house.
141
00:07:10,224 --> 00:07:12,560
A-ha, thank you, sister Joy.
142
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,040
- (CLATTERING)
- Hey!
143
00:07:15,076 --> 00:07:17,928
Aggie, make sure your family don't scatter
my house before my brother comes.
144
00:07:17,964 --> 00:07:19,310
Leave my family!
145
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:26,040
I'm sorry, Walter, I... mistook
your display for a stool and...
146
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,440
You broke my Jesus?
Mary, Jesus and Joseph!
147
00:07:30,476 --> 00:07:34,196
- Hey, hey, no blaspheming, my boy!
- No, you broke Mary, Jesus and Joseph!
148
00:07:34,232 --> 00:07:36,916
I did not mean to.
You should not put it on the stool.
149
00:07:36,951 --> 00:07:37,951
Whose family?
150
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,928
Hm? I don't know him.
151
00:07:40,342 --> 00:07:41,342
(KIDS SCREAM)
152
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:44,324
OK, who's next to see Santa, please?
I said who's next?
153
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:48,520
Agh! Hey, hey, hey! Maybe they will
steal your presents, even your birthday.
154
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,160
(SCREAMS) Oh, no, no, no, little boy!
155
00:07:51,196 --> 00:07:54,676
Please don't tell Santa on me.
I need the money too much, yeah?
156
00:07:54,712 --> 00:07:56,577
It's OK, Santa,
I've got this under control.
157
00:07:56,613 --> 00:07:59,467
Why you pulling me so hard?
Calm down. It's Christmas.
158
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,120
Hey. How did it go today, my boys?
159
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,440
- Are you OK, darling?
- Yeah.
160
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,440
- You're not gonna...
- No, it's just a kick.
161
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,441
- Got Ian Rush in here.
- (LAUGHS)
162
00:08:15,477 --> 00:08:16,841
That's better.
163
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,480
Of course you didn't make any money,
dressed like Eskimos
164
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,920
and your... (SINGING) ? La-la-la ?
English way.
165
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,800
You need to have a little
shimmy, hm? Mm.
166
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:30,186
Mm! Make the song your own.
167
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,680
? Jingle bells ?
168
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,680
(TAPS BELL) ? Jingle bells ?
169
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,400
- ? Jingle all de way ?
- No, no, no, no.
170
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:42,200
- Like this. Go lower.
- ? Oh, what fun it is to ride ?
171
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,960
- (CHEERS)
- (HE TAPS REGGAE RHYTHM)
172
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,840
ALL: ? Jingle bells ?
173
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,920
? Jingle bells ?
174
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,760
? Jingle all the way ?
175
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,720
? Oh, what fun it is... ?
176
00:08:55,756 --> 00:08:58,516
This is the most embarrassing thing
I've ever seen.
177
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,520
But... they might be onto something,
you know?
178
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,320
ALL: ? Jingle bells, jingle bells ?
179
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,680
? Jingle all the way ?
180
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,680
- ? Oh, what fun It is to ride... ?
- ? Oh, what fun ?
181
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:15,480
? Sleigh bells jing-a-ling,
ring-ting-ting-a-ling, too... ?
182
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:17,718
Valentine?
183
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:22,160
(LAUGHS)
184
00:09:22,624 --> 00:09:24,864
You turned down a job
at the factory for this?
185
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,497
- This was your dream?
- This is a nightmare.
186
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,776
What are you doing here?
187
00:09:30,812 --> 00:09:33,635
Oh, er, my wife thought
it would be an idea
188
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,840
to, er, buy each other presents.
189
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,680
Like the English. For fun.
190
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,137
Ah!
191
00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:43,310
And what have you bought
your lucky lady? Huh?
192
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,560
Oh. Ta-da!
193
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,000
Four table mats. Easy-wipe, of course.
194
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,608
Er, we only need three
for now, but one day,
195
00:09:50,644 --> 00:09:52,619
we could be joined by, uh, a little one.
196
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,200
Or little ones!
Maybe I should've bought some more!
197
00:09:57,236 --> 00:09:59,687
Mr Rajesh,
if you want to make some children,
198
00:09:59,723 --> 00:10:01,991
I don't think tables
mats are going to help.
199
00:10:02,029 --> 00:10:05,669
But I do know something that will.
(CHUCKLES)
200
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,960
? Santa, baby, slip a sable... ?
201
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:13,400
Hello, madam. Ooh, yes, yes, Mr Rajesh.
202
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:16,157
There is definitely something here
203
00:10:16,193 --> 00:10:19,275
that will give you a
very Merry Christmas.
204
00:10:19,311 --> 00:10:21,358
- I'm Hindu.
- Merry Diwali, then.
205
00:10:21,394 --> 00:10:23,731
Excuse me. Can I have these, please?
206
00:10:23,807 --> 00:10:25,687
Please, Valentine.
207
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,045
Oh, God! Valentine! Please!
208
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,920
- Are you still there?
- Shh! You are making a scene.
209
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:36,520
And that is a bad thing for two men
to do in a lingerie shop,
210
00:10:36,556 --> 00:10:38,876
especially when one of them
is wearing tights.
211
00:10:38,912 --> 00:10:42,472
Look, just don't leave me here
alone, OK, when you go back to work.
212
00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:43,737
Hey, I'm not going back.
213
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:47,783
Those devil children have broken
wind on Valentine for the last time.
214
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:51,456
- Kobna will go without a present.
- What?
215
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:56,160
You dragged me here,
a place where I can't open my eyes
216
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,320
without seeing a lady's privacy,
217
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,920
yet you will not put up with two
hours of indignity for your nephew?
218
00:11:01,956 --> 00:11:04,426
No, but you don't understand.
Those bastards...
219
00:11:04,462 --> 00:11:05,685
Rajesh's law.
220
00:11:05,721 --> 00:11:11,481
You have a family, my friend. And
to have a family... is to suffer.
221
00:11:11,765 --> 00:11:15,165
(CHUCKLES) Now, you go back
and make money for his present, huh?
222
00:11:15,201 --> 00:11:16,881
A-ha! Look!
223
00:11:17,148 --> 00:11:19,388
What about this, huh? (CHUCKLES)
224
00:11:19,490 --> 00:11:22,610
Huh? Sexy! (CHUCKLES)
225
00:11:22,646 --> 00:11:24,166
And very practical.
226
00:11:24,342 --> 00:11:28,062
- She might be a bit hot, huh?
- We'll open a window.
227
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,680
(ALL CHEER AND LAUGH)
228
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,920
(ALL LAUGH)
229
00:11:39,956 --> 00:11:43,356
- Oh! I need to go to the toilet!
- Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!
230
00:11:50,703 --> 00:11:52,903
You OK? You having a good time?
231
00:11:53,156 --> 00:11:55,596
I'm just gluing this
before Vale gets back.
232
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,064
Ohhh.
233
00:11:58,139 --> 00:12:01,106
It's not that bad. I mean,
you can hardly see the crack actually.
234
00:12:01,142 --> 00:12:02,694
When you look at it close...
235
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,440
Walter... I'm having the baby!
236
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,000
Er, this is a job for a woman.
237
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,760
- (PANTS)
- I'll be right back. Aggie!
238
00:12:22,635 --> 00:12:26,675
Beatrice, my dear, are sure
you're only seven months pregnant?
239
00:12:26,835 --> 00:12:30,155
- No.
- Huh. More like nine months?
240
00:12:30,191 --> 00:12:33,791
Hey! You were pregnant at your wedding!
Shit! Does your daddy know?
241
00:12:33,827 --> 00:12:38,067
- No! And don't you dare tell him!
- We had the same thing with our Dean.
242
00:12:38,248 --> 00:12:40,768
Hey! Hey! Ohhh!
243
00:12:41,115 --> 00:12:44,395
Your waters have broken! Ohh!
244
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,115
You're going to have the baby
right here. Ohh!
245
00:12:47,275 --> 00:12:49,835
- What is happening?
- Her waters have broken.
246
00:12:49,995 --> 00:12:52,435
- Her waters have broken?
- Her waters have broken.
247
00:12:52,517 --> 00:12:54,317
- She's in labour.
- She's in labour!
248
00:12:54,555 --> 00:12:57,315
I'm sure the Lord will take it in hand.
249
00:12:57,475 --> 00:13:00,635
- I-I will pray for you.
- But stay close by.
250
00:13:00,755 --> 00:13:02,191
Where is Walter?
251
00:13:03,035 --> 00:13:04,680
Agh! Agh!
252
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:08,555
(BOTH SCREAM AND GROAN)
253
00:13:08,675 --> 00:13:11,995
(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
254
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:19,721
I like what you have done
to this room, Walter.
255
00:13:20,661 --> 00:13:24,981
- Er, what's the colour?
- Oh, this is, er, magnolia.
256
00:13:25,217 --> 00:13:28,257
Ah. Is that gloss down there?
257
00:13:28,293 --> 00:13:29,418
On the skirting, yeah, it's gloss.
258
00:13:29,454 --> 00:13:34,368
In fact, I've got some left in the
cupboard in the hall, if you want it.
259
00:13:34,752 --> 00:13:37,752
That would look nice
in your dining room, Godfearing.
260
00:13:38,115 --> 00:13:40,555
I can't think about skirting
boards, Akie.
261
00:13:40,591 --> 00:13:43,850
A Christmas miracle is occurring.
What can you hear, Walter?
262
00:13:44,395 --> 00:13:46,815
(MUFFLED VOICES) Chatting.
263
00:13:47,715 --> 00:13:51,395
- Even in childbirth, women cannot stop chatting.
- (ALL LAUGH)
264
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:55,251
- Hey! What are you all doing in here?
- Well, you said stay close.
265
00:13:55,287 --> 00:13:58,701
Walter, do you know where
Kobna's old paddling pool is?
266
00:13:58,737 --> 00:14:01,025
The paddling pool is in the
cupboard in the hallway.
267
00:14:01,061 --> 00:14:03,125
What is happening out there? Is it tidy?
268
00:14:03,161 --> 00:14:05,790
Walter, Beatrice is having a baby.
269
00:14:05,826 --> 00:14:08,666
OK, well, tell her not to make a mess.
270
00:14:08,702 --> 00:14:09,863
If she's going to the hall cupboard,
271
00:14:09,899 --> 00:14:13,297
maybe she can bring the
magnolia gloss paint, hey?
272
00:14:13,955 --> 00:14:16,009
(MUFFLED GROANING) Let me ask later.
273
00:14:16,955 --> 00:14:20,275
Oh, bollocks. I've stuck
Joseph's head to my finger.
274
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,915
Come now, Valentine,
you can do this, eh?
275
00:14:25,951 --> 00:14:27,495
Just think about the money.
276
00:14:28,115 --> 00:14:29,887
(GROANS)
277
00:14:29,923 --> 00:14:31,630
Hey!
278
00:14:31,755 --> 00:14:35,594
- (GROANS)
- Ooh. You want to try my hat on?
279
00:14:35,984 --> 00:14:38,462
OK. It's Christmas, eh?
280
00:14:38,498 --> 00:14:40,778
(VOMITS)
281
00:14:41,235 --> 00:14:43,835
- (GROANS)
- Hey, what did you have for breakfast?
282
00:14:46,195 --> 00:14:47,896
I've brought tripe.
283
00:14:48,395 --> 00:14:51,631
Oh. Well... let the party begin.
284
00:14:53,195 --> 00:14:56,195
There you go, Vic.
There's a drink for you.
285
00:14:56,315 --> 00:14:58,213
There you go. Make yourself comfy.
286
00:14:58,755 --> 00:15:00,875
Just turn the telly on.
287
00:15:04,549 --> 00:15:06,790
- What are you up to?
- We need these for carol singing.
288
00:15:06,826 --> 00:15:08,864
Oh. Obvious, really.
289
00:15:10,853 --> 00:15:13,293
I wonder if old Delia whatshername's on.
290
00:15:13,594 --> 00:15:16,954
Her stuffing recipe's
the dog's bollocks, I'll tell you.
291
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:19,331
Well, makes a change
from sage and onion, I suppose.
292
00:15:19,945 --> 00:15:22,357
Oi, her stuffing recipe?
293
00:15:22,451 --> 00:15:23,707
Vic, can you cook?
294
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:26,582
Who do you think's been feeding
me for the last six months?
295
00:15:26,618 --> 00:15:29,495
Don't just sit there,
you lazy old sod, get in the kitchen.
296
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:30,626
There's work to be done.
297
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:35,650
Ready?
298
00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:41,195
BOTH: ? Jingle bells, jingle bells ?
299
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,435
? Jingle all the way ?
300
00:15:43,555 --> 00:15:45,715
? Oh, what fun it is to ride ?
301
00:15:45,835 --> 00:15:49,515
? In a one-horse open sleigh ?
302
00:15:49,635 --> 00:15:52,635
(BEATBOXES)
303
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,365
Kobna!
304
00:15:55,718 --> 00:15:56,838
Dean!
305
00:15:58,315 --> 00:16:01,035
? Now, gather round,
people, don't delay ?
306
00:16:01,195 --> 00:16:03,355
? For Christmas carols the African way ?
307
00:16:03,515 --> 00:16:05,795
? He's Dean Delacroix,
make your dream come true ?
308
00:16:05,955 --> 00:16:08,195
- ? No, it won't be Sam Fox ?
- ? That was too blue ?
309
00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,155
? The only jingle you wanna hear ?
310
00:16:10,191 --> 00:16:12,511
BOTH: ? Is the cash in your pockets
falling in there ?
311
00:16:12,547 --> 00:16:14,627
? Kobna's here
to make this merry and bright ?
312
00:16:14,663 --> 00:16:17,183
? And to prove that Christmas
don't have to be white ?
313
00:16:17,675 --> 00:16:20,435
(APPLAUSE)
314
00:16:21,783 --> 00:16:24,063
OK, next one to see Santa.
315
00:16:26,849 --> 00:16:28,681
Hey, pee-pee face, are you coming?
316
00:16:28,717 --> 00:16:31,324
There are many children waiting.
You are not special.
317
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:35,920
Sorry. I've just... I've never seen
an elf that looked like me before.
318
00:16:45,435 --> 00:16:49,035
OK, my little people,
let's have some serious fun!
319
00:16:49,155 --> 00:16:51,475
It's Christmas!
320
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:54,699
Hey! Hey! Hey!
321
00:16:55,435 --> 00:16:57,435
(GROANS)
322
00:16:57,555 --> 00:17:00,675
(SQUEALS)
323
00:17:05,355 --> 00:17:07,115
Whoo!
324
00:17:08,955 --> 00:17:10,961
- Are you sure about this?
- Yeah.
325
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:13,470
That there, that is a lady's mixer.
326
00:17:13,555 --> 00:17:16,755
But this... this is man's cooking.
327
00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:18,555
Oh, thank you, thank you!
328
00:17:18,675 --> 00:17:20,555
Go, Santa! Go, Santa!
329
00:17:21,635 --> 00:17:23,955
Oh! Thank you so much!
330
00:17:32,395 --> 00:17:34,595
Hold on. Where's my egg wash?
331
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:49,635
I know you're closed. Please, open up!
332
00:17:49,671 --> 00:17:51,691
I need to return this! Hello! Come back!
333
00:18:06,115 --> 00:18:08,195
(FARTING AND MUFFLED GROANING)
334
00:18:09,315 --> 00:18:11,315
(SNIFFS)
335
00:18:12,635 --> 00:18:15,715
- For God's sake, Akie!
- It wasn't me!
336
00:18:15,751 --> 00:18:17,545
- Did you poo your pants?
- It was him!
337
00:18:17,581 --> 00:18:20,546
- Don't look at me!
- I'm not staying here! Jesus!
338
00:18:20,835 --> 00:18:23,155
(GROANS) You are doing really well.
339
00:18:23,275 --> 00:18:25,115
Hey, hey, it's nearly there.
340
00:18:25,275 --> 00:18:28,193
Aggie, what's happening? Ohhh.
I was just looking for the bathroom.
341
00:18:28,229 --> 00:18:32,224
Hey! Merry... Christ in heaven!
342
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:33,384
The baby is coming.
343
00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:36,175
This is what happens when
you don't buy table mats.
344
00:18:36,595 --> 00:18:39,115
(GROANS)
345
00:18:39,235 --> 00:18:40,432
Ah!
346
00:18:42,075 --> 00:18:45,195
- It's a boy!
- (ALL CHEER)
347
00:18:47,395 --> 00:18:50,315
(MEN CLAP)
348
00:18:51,555 --> 00:18:54,955
- And look, the three wise men.
- (ALL CHUCKLE)
349
00:18:54,991 --> 00:18:57,071
All we need now
is a couple of shepherds.
350
00:18:57,107 --> 00:18:59,187
Did somebody say shepherd's pie?
351
00:18:59,223 --> 00:19:02,063
Here I come! Bloody hell fire.
352
00:19:02,515 --> 00:19:05,515
Ahh, look at the balls
on that little 'un, eh?
353
00:19:05,551 --> 00:19:07,831
(BABY CRIES)
354
00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:09,542
? Snow is falling ?
355
00:19:10,314 --> 00:19:12,237
? All around me ?
356
00:19:12,995 --> 00:19:14,964
? Children playing ?
357
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:17,159
? Having fun ?
358
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:19,793
? It's the season ?
359
00:19:19,829 --> 00:19:22,749
? Love and understanding ?
360
00:19:22,785 --> 00:19:25,025
? Merry Christmas ?
361
00:19:25,061 --> 00:19:27,061
? Everyone ?
362
00:19:27,097 --> 00:19:29,457
? Merry Christmas ?
363
00:19:29,721 --> 00:19:32,321
? Everyone ?
364
00:19:33,669 --> 00:19:35,296
- Sausage roll?
- No, thank you.
365
00:19:35,332 --> 00:19:36,351
All right.
366
00:19:36,387 --> 00:19:37,865
- Sausage roll?
- Ah, no, no, no, no.
367
00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:40,701
- But I would like some more of your tripe, please.
- (DOOR CLOSES)
368
00:19:41,635 --> 00:19:44,259
- Can I open my present now?
- Shhh!
369
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:47,752
What is it?
370
00:19:49,835 --> 00:19:51,995
Record decks! My own record decks!
371
00:19:52,031 --> 00:19:55,732
- Thank you, Uncle Vale.
- I hope you bought him some headphones.
372
00:19:55,768 --> 00:19:57,968
These are wicked! I'm gonna be a DJ!
373
00:19:58,548 --> 00:20:00,572
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Who is that calling?
374
00:20:00,608 --> 00:20:02,423
Everybody I love is at home.
375
00:20:02,459 --> 00:20:04,459
Except for my ma, of course.
376
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:06,566
- Hello?
- Merry Christmas, Walter!
377
00:20:06,602 --> 00:20:08,318
Hey, merry Christmas, Mama!
378
00:20:08,354 --> 00:20:10,474
(ALL CHEER)
379
00:20:10,748 --> 00:20:13,148
We are all here! We are all here!
380
00:20:13,715 --> 00:20:19,315
Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, you wanna talk to
Kobna? OK. Come. It's your grandma.
381
00:20:21,635 --> 00:20:25,075
Hey! Let me see this baby now.
382
00:20:25,195 --> 00:20:26,795
? I'm gonna find that girl ?
383
00:20:26,995 --> 00:20:29,012
Merry Christmas to you, too!
384
00:20:29,048 --> 00:20:31,110
? Underneath the mistletoe
and kiss by candlelight ?
385
00:20:31,195 --> 00:20:33,395
? Room is swaying ?
386
00:20:33,515 --> 00:20:35,715
? Records playing ?
387
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:39,315
? All the old songs we love to hear ?
388
00:20:40,595 --> 00:20:42,355
? Oh, I wish that ?
389
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:45,195
? Every day was Christmas ?
390
00:20:45,315 --> 00:20:47,275
? What a nice way ?
391
00:20:47,395 --> 00:20:49,235
? To spend the year ?
392
00:20:49,355 --> 00:20:50,635
Whoo, yeah!
393
00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:54,670
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
394
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:59,270
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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