Original subtitles

♪ ♪

NARRATOR: This is my boss, Jonathan Hart, a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy,

'cause when they met, it was murder.

♪ ♪

[WHIMPERS]

♪ ♪

[BARKS]

[BARKS]

[BARKS, GROWLS]

I don't like it.

WOMAN: Yesterday, I fed him twice,

and he was all right. [DOG GROWLING]

Today, he's eaten three times...

And look at him.

That is only his little doggy way of saying

that he requires more.

Which should mean that our sales...

will be ever increasing.

Now, what could be wrong with that?

But without the food, he becomes crazed.

Now, now, my dear,

that's only a temporary condition, I assure you.

Watch this:

[BARKS]

There you are, my boy.

Ha!

There, you see?

Docile as a lamb.

Until, of course, he starts to need his next feeding.

But that's what worries me.

What if the dog's owner should run out of food?

Well, of course,

that would be a private matter between the dog and his master.

It would be unfortunate, I must admit.

The dog... just might bite off the hand

that doesn't feed it.

♪ ♪

♪ Da-da da-da da Dum-dum ♪

[INHALES DEEPLY]

[SIGHING] Oh.

Hey, Max,

that smells sensational.

Thanks, Mr. H.

Let me guess.

Sure, go ahead.

Beef. Right.

Onions. Right.

Maybe a touch of wine? Right.

Beef stew.

Beef bourguignon.

Ah, that's my favorite.

When's lunch?

Right now.

[YELLS] Come and get it.

Max, I'm standing right here.

That's Freeway's bowl.

Yeah.

This is Freeway's lunch.

Where's my lunch?

Oh, you and Mrs. Hart

are having health-food salads á la Max.

What's that?

Pot cheese, cabbage and alfalfa sprouts.

What are those little white things

without the marks that look like dice? Tofu.

"To" what?

Tofu. Japanese bean curds.

Try one. They're good.

MAX: How do ya like it?

Snake eyes.

They're very healthy for ya...

I'm already healthy, Max.

Mrs. H wants you to stay that way.

Oh, boy, am I hungry.

Darling, some of us around here are getting

preferential treatment.

Oh, well, I'm glad to see you recognized that.

Freeway is getting beef bourguignon.

Mm-hm. I'm getting torfu.

Tofu.

I want an explanation.

Oh, well, that's really very simple.

He doesn't like salad.

You see, Freeway is very finicky.

If the food isn't just right,

he won't eat.

That's right.

Pickle?

What about the gobbling gourmet? Doesn't he want it?

Oh, not with beef bourguignon, Mr. H.

[BARKS]

♪ ♪

DIRECTOR: Where's the schnauzer?

He's sick? Sick?

Is there a vet on the set?

Well, scratch the schnauzer.

We'll go with the, uh...

Shih Tzu.

Stop following me around with that thing.

We're not even shooting yet.

Where's the Shih Tzu?

Sir?

Sir?

He's real cute.

Would you and your dog like to be in a TV commercial?

TV commercial?

What's the product?

It's a brand-new dog food.

We're using real people and real dogs.

You know, we want the reaction to be authentic.

Dog food?

It's called Doggone-Its.

See, the announcer will open a can and put it down...

Hold it.

Store-bought dog food?

Freeway only eats home-cooked people's food.

You're wasting your time.

Come on, Freeway.

[BARKING]

Looks like he wants to audition.

Okay, but when he turns up his nose, remember I told you so.

MAN: Doggone it.

Remember, your dog'll be a goner for Doggone-Its.

DIRECTOR: Cut.

Thank you so much.

Strike the Shih Tzu.

John, here's another candidate.

Another one?

Somewhere, Francis Ford Coppola is directing Marlon Brando,

and I'm feeding straight lines to Chihuahuas

and cocker spaniels.

I'm, uh, John Sperling, the director.

How do you do?

I heard that white shirts don't film so good.

I can go and change.

This is just a test.

Does Fellini put up with this kind of abuse?

If you'll just step around here, please, please.

Uh, Jerry, have the bowl ready.

Right. Everyone settle, please.

Andhave... fun with it.

Roll camera.

MAN: Speed.

Action.

Hi, Jerry Grey here to tell you about new Doggone-Its,

the dog food that your dog'll be simply gone on.

And, uh, your name is?

I'm Max, and this is Freeway.

Okay, Max.

Let's see if Freeway here likes new Doggone-Its.

Look, I gotta warn ya. Freeway is very finicky.

He don't like store-bought dog food.

So I-I'm sorry. We're gonna ruin your commercial.

Well, let's see about that.

Here, Freeway.

Freeway?

I don't believe it!

MAX: He's eating it all up.

[GREY LAUGHS]

Freeway, I-I-I don't believe it.

What'd you say the name of this stuff was?

Doggone-Its.

Remember, your dog'll be a goner for Doggone-Its.

Cut!

Beautiful! Perfect!

Beautiful! Beautiful!

It was beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Simply delicious.

Oh, thank you. Oh, you were good too, Max.

Oh, Barbara. Barbara. Get his phone number.

Doggone-Its, huh?

That's incredible stuff.

Freeway just knocked off a big lunch before we got here.

Really? Hm.

Come on, Freeway.

DIRECTOR: Everyone... that's a wrap.

Oh, Ken. Ken, it was superb. It was so good.

Mr. Davern, you wanna test any more dogs today?

Oh, Ken, please.

I've already got fleas and kennel cough.

[CHUCKLES] Okay. Let's call it a day.

[SIGHS]

Teamster.

Where's my teamster?

Ah.

Barbara, get the last three tests to the lab

so we can screen them tonight for Miss Braff and Dr. Cobb.

Mr. Davern, we must have tested two dozen dogs today,

and not one turned his nose up at Doggone-Its.

What's so special about it?

Now, what could be special about dog food?

My ad agency has represented many dog foods.

It's all in the packaging and advertising.

You should know that by now.

MAX: I'm not exaggerating.

The director said I was a natural.

And he's worked with Brando.

Marlon?

Is there another?

Gee, I really hope they decide to use us.

Well, of course they will.

How could they possibly pass up anyone as cute as Freeway?

Darling, there are hundreds of other dogs.

Yeah, but none with his personality, his good looks.

Thanks to my cooking, he's good-looking.

He's gonna be famous.

A star is born.

[CHUCKLES]

First, there was Rin-Tin-Tin,

then Lassie, and now...

Freeway!

I can see it all:

cross-country tours...

talk shows...

Freeway on the cover of Dog's Life.

[BARKS] Ooh! [LAUGHS]

You two don't think you're getting too carried away, do ya?

Oh, we won't let it go to his head.

We'll still let you play

with all the dogs in the neighborhood.

If he's got time,

what with personal appearances and all.

You know something,

Freeway's gonna need an agent.

An agent?

Sure.

[LAUGHS]

That's ridiculous.

Freeway's not gonna need an agent. How silly.

All he's really gonna need is a business manager.

♪ ♪

GREY [ON TV]: Doggone-Its.

The dog food that your dog'll be simply gone on.

And, uh, your name is?

I'm Max, and this is Freeway.

Okay, Max.

Let's see if Freeway here likes new Doggone-Its.

Look, I gotta warn ya. Freeway is very finicky.

He don't like store-bought dog food.

I'm sorry. We're gonna ruin your commercial.

Well, let's see about that.

Here, Freeway.

Freeway?

I don't believe it!

He's eating it all up.

[GREY LAUGHS]

What'd you say the name of this stuff is?

Doggone-Its.

Remember, your dog'll be a goner for Doggone-Its.

SPERLING: Cut. That was perfect!

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

That was marvelous. Beautiful!

Well, those were the best ones.

My vote goes to Freeway and Max.

What do you think, Miss Braff?

I have to agree.

That line about ruining the commercial is...

solid gold.

Dr. Cobb?

The dentist with the schnauzer wasn't bad.

What about his awful toupee?

Which one?

The dentist's or the schnauzer's?

[CHUCKLING]

Very well, then.

Freeway's our dog.

Good.

Barbara, pick up the film from the projection booth.

Sure thing.

Jack, hang on to the film.

Barbara's coming to pick it up.

You better hang on to that test.

I want that ad word for word when we shoot.

♪ ♪

DAVERN [OVER PA]: Doctor, are you sure no one knows the effects

of the Doggone-Its formula?

COBB: No one but us.

And no one will...

until it's too late.

DAVERN: Don't you think you made it too strong?

The initial shipment must be strong.

After all, what dog owner

would deny his little pet its favorite food?

BRAFF: We'll dilute the formula later.

We'll make millions.

COBB: You have no objection to making your agency famous...

to becoming a millionaire.

Do you, Ken?

[DOOR CLOSES]

[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY] Sorry.

You scared me.

Ya heard enough?

Nothing.

I guess the intercom button was, uh...

Maybe Mr. Davern forgot to turn it off.

The doctor doesn't want any security leaks.

Honest.

I wasn't even paying attention.

I won't tell anybody.

That's right.

You won't.

[BARBARA MOANS]

Doggone-Its dog food spot,

take 23.

Hi, Jerry Grey here to tell you about new Doggone-Its,

the dog food that your dog'll be simply gone on.

And, uh, your name is?

[CLEARS THROAT]

[NERVOUSLY] I am Max, and this is Freeway.

[SIGHS]

Okay, Max, um,

let's see if Freeway here likes new Doggone-Its.

Wow! Isn't that amazing?

I... Uh... What is the name of this?

We'll use the test.

Remember, your dog'll be a goner for Doggone-Its.

Cut.

Oh.

What...? W-was that all right?

It was wonderful, Max.

W-wait, because I... No, it was fine, just...

I tried to remember the...

Which words to emphasize, and, uh...

Did I get it right?

Mr. Hart,

Mrs. Hart.

Oh, Miss Braff.

Dr. Cobb. Hello.

It looks as if Freeway really goes for Doggone-Its.

Doesn't it?

When is it gonna be available to buy in the stores?

Until we gear up, we can't go into full production.

But I would be delighted to give you some sample cans right now.

Oh!

Well, we'd certainly appreciate that.

I'm sure Freeway will too.

BRAFF: He's a healthy-looking dog.

You look very fit too, Mr. Hart.

Mm.

Thanks.

Either of you wrestle?

I beg your pardon?

Well, yeah,

we wrestle over an occasional crossword puzzle.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

Why do you ask?

BRAFF: I was curious.

Wrestling is a hobby of mine.

Well, in that case, uh...

I don't think we'd better pull your leg.

[LAUGHING] Oh, that might be dangerous.

I... I've been laid up in this wheelchair for a month now.

Got him in the Argentinean backbreaker...

pinned him in 30 seconds.

[CHUCKLES]

You mean, the two of you wrestle each other?

He just loves contact sports.

COBB: Indeed, I do.

Mrs. Hart, perhaps when I'm back on my feet again,

you and Mr. Hart would like to join Ruby and me.

For dinner?

Wrestling!

You know, a tag team match.

Girls against the boys.

The doctor and I are always looking for...

partners.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, you know, I... I was just saying to Jonathan the other day

that jogging is getting to be so...

dull.

Oh. Ooh.

Well...

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

Uh, Freeway. Come here, baby.

Miss Braff, Dr. Cobb.

Come on, darling, let's go home.

Max.

Thanks. I'll try to remember all the motivations you gave me.

Marvelous.

Time to go home.

Ah.

So long. Hope I see you in the next take.

♪ ♪

Yesterday, we ran out of Doggone-Its.

He won't eat anything else.

Freeway is not Freeway.

He's so sluggish.

He's not playful.

He won't eat my cooking.

That ain't my Freeway.

Of course it is.

He's the same old Freeway.

It's just that...

stardom is taxing on anyone.

Here, baby.

Max made it specially for you.

It's your favorite.

[WHINES]

[BARKS]

What's he doing?

Isn't that where you kept the Doggone-Its.

Right.

[BARKS]

He certainly misses them.

Misses them?

He can't live without them.

[BARKS]

♪ ♪

You can have any of those publicity stills you want.

So how does it feel to be the owners of a dog

that's about to be thrust into the national limelight?

Well... not much different than before.

Mr. Davern, you're the head of advertising for Doggone-Its?

Yes, I am.

What's in it?

The ingredients?

Yes.

Uh... here.

Read 'em for yourself.

Wow. Wow.

Certainly goes on forever.

Oh, we've developed some new flavor enhancers,

but, basically, it's standard dog food ingredients.

You see, we design a great-looking package,

and the advertising campaign does all the rest.

And we've got a couple of winners in Freeway and Max.

JONATHAN: Well, I'll tell you one thing,

Freeway won't eat anything else.

As a matter of fact, we were so worried,

we took him to our own veterinarian.

And?

Well...

the vet said he was very healthy.

It's just that he won't touch any other sort of food.

Oh, don't worry about that, Mrs. Hart.

I'll send you more Doggone-Its this afternoon.

Well... thank you.

And thanks very much for the publicity shots.

It's my pleasure.

Buh-bye.

♪ ♪

[DOG BARKS]

[DOG WHINES]

There you go.

That's a good boy.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Ah, there you are, my good friend.

Miss Braff, Dr. Cobb.

Wha-what seems to be the problem?

You sounded so worried on the phone.

DAVERN: It's the Harts.

I'm worried about them.

BRAFF: The Harts?

I find them refreshing.

They're in love.

And, they're even married.

[CHUCKLES]

Doctor, they're... They're really curious about Doggone-Its.

They wanted to know what's in it.

Then tell them.

I did. Mr. Hart even took the list of ingredients.

Hm... So?

It's one thing to have a list of the ingredients,

and it's quite another thing

to have the formula for the ingredients.

BRAFF: Forget the Harts.

We have some big news for you.

Telmore Foods will be branching out.

Oh?

A whole new line of foods...

for people.

When we started this, you said just animals.

People...

It's immoral. You can't!

Can't?

I should think you'd be delighted.

You'll be handling the advertising

for a billion-dollar company.

You'll be rich.

Richer than you've ever dreamed.

Well, I'll, uh...

I'll have... I'll have to think about it.

By all means...

do.

♪ ♪

[BARKING]

I think you frightened them.

He may become a problem.

We know how to deal with problems.

Hm?

♪ ♪

[BARKING]

Here ya go, Mrs. H. Doggone-Its.

Okay, Freeway.

There you go.

Ooh. [CHUCKLES]

You think that food's okay?

[SCOFFS]

Don't be so suspicious.

If other dogs like it half as much as Freeway does,

maybe we should buy stock in Telmore Foods.

Maybe you should buy the whole company, Mr. H.

Hey.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hello?

May I speak to Mr. Hart please?

This is Jonathan Hart.

Uh, this is Ken Davern at the agency.

Oh, yes, Ken. What can I do for you?

Mr. Hart, I wanna talk to you.

This whole Doggone-Its thing is getting out of hand.

Can you meet me in my office right away?

What seems to be the trouble?

N-not on the phone.

I don't trust them anymore.

I'll be waiting for you.

We'll be there right away.

Bye-bye.

[CLICKS]

[DIAL TONE BUZZES]

Who was that?

That was, um,

Ken Davern at the ad agency.

And, uh...

And?

And someone listening in on us.

Hm.

♪ ♪

Ken?

DAVERN [OVER TAPE RECORDER]: And, per our conversation today... Doggone-Its...

...Monday. Uh, sincerely, Ken Davern.

Memo to all departments.

There will be a staff meeting tomorrow morning

at 10 sharp in my office

to discuss the east coast media buy and subsequent plans

for saturation selling in the New York and Boston...

Uh, Boston markets.

He is...

Dead.

Ah.

[DOOR OPENS]

Call the police, darling. I'll be right back.

Hey.

What outfit are you with?

Arrowpoint Custodial.

Oh.

Is this, uh, uniform standard equipment?

Yeah.

How 'bout those?

[GRUNTING]

Jonathan!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Jonathan.

[CHUCKLES]

[GRUNTS]

Oh... darling.

Oh, darling.

I thought you fell 21 floors.

That was the idea.

Luckily, the elevator was on 20.

Listen, I think it's about time we find out

just how they make Doggone-Its.

I'm with you.

Let's go.

Now, our chemistry department took the ingredients

in every known dog food,

plus the ingredients in Doggone-Its

and fed them all into the computer.

So if there's anything different in Doggone-Its,

it will, uh, show in this printout, right?

Right you are, sir.

And here they are.

Nitrous sulphonexol and this...

Yeah, that's, uh, dicalcium sulphoromatol, right?

Precisely.

JENNIFER: Mm.

Sounds delicious.

No wonder Freeway loves it.

Stanley,

are these ingredients only found in Doggone-Its?

No. A lot of the foods contain one or the other of them.

Then, that's not it.

Maybe not, but the strange thing

is that only Doggone-Its

contains both these chemicals.

Are you saying that these two ingredients are harmless,

but if you put them together, they'd make something different?

It's possible.

For instance, uh, if you have vodka...

And you add orange juice,

you get a screwdriver.

Right?

If you say so, Mrs. Hart.

Uh, now, here I've arranged a-a little demonstration.

Now, you see two harmless chemicals,

but you mix one with the other,

and you get a third thing that's completely different.

[BUBBLING]

I guess I made this batch a little strong.

Uh, but I'll take care of it, Mr. Hart, okay?

Stanley,

what do you think that the chemicals in Doggone-Its...

What do you think they're producing?

Um, well, I...

Our chemists seem to think

it's some kind of new, undetectable stimulant,

but until we get the... The right chemical balance,

who knows?

If Freeway could only talk,

he could tell us what the effect was.

It's just too bad that he can't.

Hi, Jerry Grey here to tell you about new Doggone-Its,

the dog food that your dog'll be simply gone on.

And, uh, your name is?

I'm Max, and this is Freeway.

Okay, Max, um,

[BARKS] let's see if Freeway...

Quiet! This is the world premiere.

MAX [ON TV]: Freeway is veryfinicky.

He don't like store-bought dog food.

I'm sorry, we're gonna ruin your commercial.

JERRY: Well, let's see about that.

Here, Freeway.

Freeway? I don't believe it!

He's eating it all up. [GREY CHUCKLES]

What'd you say the name of this stuff is?

Doggone-Its.

Remember, your dog'll be a goner for Doggone-Its.

That is super. That's good. DEANNE: Oh!

JENNIFER: Well done.

Well done.

I can't understand why they used that one.

The other was so much more...

meaningful.

MAX: Well, fame is fleeting, back to work.

Ah-ah-ah. Max, we had this party especially for you.

This is your night.

So you relax, we'll take over.

[DOORBELL RINGS] Thank you.

Oh, I'll get that.

Mrs. Hart,

um, I can help with the hors d'oeuvres.

Oh, great. Thanks, Deanne.

Uh, I'll help, Deanne.

Max, with me handling your career,

you're going all the way to the top.

Yeah? You think so?

If he does for you what he did for me, honey,

good luck.

Isn't she great?

Ooh, I don't know what to bring out first.

This pâté looks good.

Mm.

Mm-mm, okay,

well, then, I'll bring out the wine,

and, uh, this ice bucket,

and you bring the pâté.

Okay. Okay.

Stanley.

Today.

Okay.

You know, I think with a little more exposure,

I could sit in for Johnny Carson.

Why not?

As a matter of fact, Johnny is a very, very dear

personal friend of mine.

"He-e-e-ere's Max."

[LAUGHS]

STANLEY: Um, place them over there.

DEANNE: Oh, okay.

Here's some great pâté. Try it.

[SNIFFS]

No, thanks.

I'm a vegetarian.

Looks great.

No, I don't think I should have any.

I gotta watch out for my waistline now.

[GIGGLES] Oh.

Deanne.

This is very wet. Yeah?

Want...?

Oh, perfect. Thanks.

[SIGHS]

Freeway.

Well, he doesn't seem to be having too good a time.

No, he doesn't.

Maybe it's the excitement.

What do you think? Ah.

Nah, it's time for dinner.

Come on, Freeway.

Time to eat.

Are there any carrots?

Carrots?

No vegetables.

Just pâté.

I got it all ready for ya, Freeway.

I could have swore I left this full of dog food.

We didn't have any pâté in the house.

Oh, jeez!

MAN: A guy goes into the doctor's office,

says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I think I'm a dog."

The doctor says, "How long you felt this way?"

He says, "Ever since I was a puppy."

[ALL LAUGH]

This is interesting.

Mm-hm. Is it duck or goose?

I don't know.

Has a bite to it. Mm.

Or should I say peck?

[ALL LAUGH]

DEANNE: It's sort of like eating peanuts.

One just isn't enough.

MAX: You can't eat that.

Says who? Ah!

He's on TV once, he thinks he's a big star.

Beat it, Bogart.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Mrs. H,

the pâté.

What pâté, Max? We're not serving pâté.

We're only serving cheese and crackers.

You know that from here, that, uh, so-called pâté

looks like Doggone-Its.

You mean, when they were in the kitchen helping to serve?

It's okay, Max. It's not your fault.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Yeah. I got it.

How's it going?

Well...

[GIGGLES]

it's almost gone.

[SOBBING] I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Oh. Well, that's nothing to get upset about.

Oh, yes, it is.

[SOBS]

How are you doing?

[LAUGHS]

This pâté is delicioso.

Wait till I tell the little woman about it.

[CHUCKLES]

And while I'm at it, I think I'll tell my wife.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Oh, my.

[MURMURS]

Stanley?

Are you all right, Stanley?

There was nobody driving, officer.

I swear, we were in the back seat.

[SOBBING] Oh, no.

[LAUGHING]

Gretchen died, and I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Gretchen?

My gerbil.

I went to kindergarten class, and when I came home...

she was gone.

[LAUGHS] [SOBS]

[WEEPING] It's not funny.

I'm very upset.

Good night. Thanks for coming.

Good night, Janice.

[STANLEY LAUGHING]

Uh-oh.

Oh. Oh. Thanks a lot, Mr. Hart.

Great party.

Great. Thank you, Mrs. Hart.

[GIGGLES]

Stanley, you're not driving.

Driving?

You're in no condition to drive.

We're not driving, we're flying.

[BOTH IMITATE ROOSTERS]

[BOTH LAUGH]

See you later.

Toodle-loo.

Bye.

Stanley, uh...

It's okay, Mr. Hart, I'll drive him home.

WOMAN: Thank you very much, Mrs. Hart.

JENNIFER: Thanks.

JONATHAN: You know, Freeway is not the only one that can't talk.

JENNIFER: You can say that again.

You know, Freeway is not the only one... Ah-ah.

There is something else in Doggone-Its.

Obviously, it's a narcotic.

Jonathan,

where can I buy that pâté?

Well, if we don't put a stop to it,

you're going to be able to get it in your local supermarket.

Gourmet section?

Pet food.

Pet food?

[LAUGHING]

[MOUTHING] Pet food.

Pet...

[GLASS BREAKING]

♪ ♪

So the Harts know.

I think, Mr. Cutshall,

that they should be dealt with with dispatch.

Right away, Mr. Cutshall.

But they've proved to be very elusive.

Don't worry. There'll be no slip-ups.

I'll go after 'em.

Why go after them?

Perhaps they can be persuaded to come to you.

Let's put on our thinking caps.

[DOGS GROWL AND BARK]

♪ ♪

I'll be right back, Freeway,

soon as I finish the dishes.

[KISSES]

Come on, Freeway.

Psst. Freeway.

Freeway.

Come on, Freeway.

Come on.

Freeway, come on.

Come on, Freeway.

[KISSES]

[YELPS AND BARKS]

Okay, Freeway, it's ti...

Freeway?

Freeway?

Freeway, here, boy.

Freeway.

Freeway!

♪ ♪

I just don't understand Freeway.

He's never disappeared like this before.

It's my fault.

I heard him bark, then he was gone.

Don't blame yourself, Max.

But I should have kept an eye on him.

I knew he was under a lot of pressure.

Now, how are we gonna find him?

Well, we looked for him all last night.

I don't know what else we can do.

[PHONE RINGING]

I'll get it.

Hello.

COBB: Hello, Mr. Hart,

I think your guardian angel has been working overtime.

At any rate, I think we've found your little doggy.

The name on the collar was Freeway,

and the telephone number was yours.

Oh, that's wonderful. They found Freeway.

They got all the information off the tag on his collar.

How is he?

Is he all right?

Oh, he's perfect. Just perfect.

But I fear he misses you dreadfully.

Listen, we thank you very much.

You know that there is a reward in this for you.

Uh, where can we pick him up?

[CHUCKLES] 460 Redmond Drive.

We'll be there in about 20 minutes.

20 minutes.

Oh, that's perfect.

Just perfect.

What a gentleman.

We're getting a reward.

Are you sure he said 460 Redmond?

Positive.

Well, there doesn't seem to be a 460.

♪ ♪

Watch out! Duck!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[GUNSHOTS]

[GUNSHOT]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Where are we going now?

To get Freeway, if it's not too late.

L.A. Mobile. Come in, L.A. Mobile.

Get me the police.

[DOGS BARKING]

You guys haven't seen Freeway, have you?

I'll check down there. You go that way, darling.

[LIQUID BUBBLING]

Well... hello, Miss Braff.

Well, Mr. Hart,

here we are.

Alone at last.

You know, ever since I met you,

I wanted to get you in a clinch.

Oh. One of those, uh,

two out of three falls kind of thing, huh?

One-hour time limit?

As a matter of fact,

this will only take a second.

[GRUNTS]

COBB: Hold it right there,

Mr. Hart!

[CHUCKLES]

It was foolish of me

to send Mr. Cutshall after you.

When all is said and done,

if you want a job done properly,

you have to do it yourself.

[CHUCKLES]

It's such a naughty old world, Mr. Hart.

You'll be so much better off... [GUN COCKS]

out of it.

Jonathan!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Relax.

Once you get hooked, you're gonna love it.

Yes, it's an acquired taste.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

"Dictionary gleanings, for short."

Refs. Reference.

R-E-F.

Darling, are you coming to bed?

I sure am.

Hey, Freeway,

now, you know that we have got rules

for this kind of thing. You know that.

Oh, darling, couldn't we just make an exception tonight?

He's been such a good boy.

Oh, you're right.

He's been a brick all the way,

even when he had to go cold turkey.

[BARKS]

Hey, good dog.

Well, will you listen to that.

He finally likes turkey.

Thank God. Come here.

You know, having a dog with a golden paw is a bit much.

[KISSES] Poor baby. He's been through a lot.

He's been through a lot? Yes.

What about me?

I got shot at,

thrown down an elevator shaft,

not to mention narrowly escaping the Argentinean backbreaker.

Yes, but think of Freeway.

He's had his career nipped in the bud.

Well, tough luck, old buddy,

but that's television.

It's dog-eat-dog.

[BARKING]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪