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♪ ♪
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00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:10,910
NARRATOR:
This is my boss, Jonathan Hart,
a self-made millionaire.
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He's quite a guy.
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00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:21,054
This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.
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She's one lady who knows
how to take care of herself.
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By the way, my name is Max.
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I take care of both of them,
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which ain't easy,
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'cause when they met,
it was murder.
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♪ ♪
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[WHIMPERS]
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♪ ♪
13
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[BARKS]
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[BARKS]
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[BARKS, GROWLS]
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I don't like it.
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WOMAN:
Yesterday, I fed him twice,
18
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and he was all right.
[DOG GROWLING]
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Today, he's eaten three times...
20
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And look at him.
21
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That is only his little
doggy way of saying
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that he requires more.
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Which should mean
that our sales...
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will be ever increasing.
25
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Now, what could be wrong
with that?
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But without the food,
he becomes crazed.
27
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Now, now, my dear,
28
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that's only a temporary
condition, I assure you.
29
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Watch this:
30
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[BARKS]
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There you are, my boy.
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Ha!
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There, you see?
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Docile as a lamb.
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Until, of course, he starts
to need his next feeding.
36
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:20,407
But that's what worries me.
37
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What if the dog's owner
should run out of food?
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Well, of course,
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that would be a private matter
between the dog and his master.
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It would be unfortunate,
I must admit.
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The dog...
just might bite off the hand
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that doesn't feed it.
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♪ ♪
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♪ Da-da da-da da Dum-dum ♪
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[INHALES DEEPLY]
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[SIGHING]
Oh.
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Hey, Max,
48
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that smells sensational.
49
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Thanks, Mr. H.
50
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Let me guess.
51
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,486
Sure, go ahead.
52
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Beef.
Right.
53
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Onions.
Right.
54
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Maybe a touch of wine?
Right.
55
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Beef stew.
56
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Beef bourguignon.
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Ah, that's my favorite.
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When's lunch?
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Right now.
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[YELLS]
Come and get it.
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Max, I'm standing right here.
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That's Freeway's bowl.
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Yeah.
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00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,108
This is Freeway's lunch.
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Where's my lunch?
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Oh, you and Mrs. Hart
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are having health-food salads
á la Max.
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00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,120
What's that?
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00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:44,391
Pot cheese, cabbage
and alfalfa sprouts.
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00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,058
What are those
little white things
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without the marks
that look like dice?
Tofu.
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"To" what?
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Tofu.
Japanese bean curds.
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Try one.
They're good.
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MAX:
How do ya like it?
76
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:03,209
Snake eyes.
77
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They're very healthy for ya...
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00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:05,712
I'm already healthy, Max.
79
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,915
Mrs. H wants you
to stay that way.
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00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,217
Oh, boy, am I hungry.
81
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,185
Darling, some of us
around here are getting
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preferential treatment.
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Oh, well, I'm glad to see
you recognized that.
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00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,558
Freeway is getting
beef bourguignon.
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Mm-hm.
I'm getting torfu.
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Tofu.
87
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,430
I want an explanation.
88
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,765
Oh, well, that's
really very simple.
89
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He doesn't like salad.
90
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,902
You see, Freeway
is very finicky.
91
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,938
If the food isn't just right,
92
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:32,939
he won't eat.
93
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That's right.
94
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Pickle?
95
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,379
What about the gobbling gourmet?
Doesn't he want it?
96
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:42,282
Oh, not with beef bourguignon,
Mr. H.
97
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[BARKS]
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♪ ♪
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DIRECTOR:
Where's the schnauzer?
100
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He's sick? Sick?
101
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Is there a vet on the set?
102
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Well, scratch the schnauzer.
103
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,854
We'll go with the, uh...
104
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Shih Tzu.
105
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,126
Stop following me around
with that thing.
106
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,327
We're not even shooting yet.
107
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,530
Where's the Shih Tzu?
108
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Sir?
109
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Sir?
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He's real cute.
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Would you and your dog
like to be in a TV commercial?
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00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:40,840
TV commercial?
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What's the product?
114
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It's a brand-new dog food.
115
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,845
We're using real people
and real dogs.
116
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You know, we want the reaction
to be authentic.
117
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:49,849
Dog food?
118
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,317
It's called Doggone-Its.
119
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,620
See, the announcer will open
a can and put it down...
120
00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:54,987
Hold it.
121
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:57,023
Store-bought dog food?
122
00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,292
Freeway only eats
home-cooked people's food.
123
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,794
You're wasting your time.
124
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Come on, Freeway.
125
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,798
[BARKING]
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00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,135
Looks like he wants to audition.
127
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:12,873
Okay, but when he turns up his
nose, remember I told you so.
128
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,043
MAN:
Doggone it.
129
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:20,179
Remember, your dog'll be
a goner for Doggone-Its.
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00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,214
DIRECTOR:
Cut.
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Thank you so much.
132
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Strike the Shih Tzu.
133
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,858
John, here's another candidate.
134
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,526
Another one?
135
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:36,863
Somewhere, Francis Ford Coppola
is directing Marlon Brando,
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00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,831
and I'm feeding straight lines
to Chihuahuas
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00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:39,933
and cocker spaniels.
138
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:44,336
I'm, uh, John Sperling,
the director.
139
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:45,905
How do you do?
140
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,841
I heard that white shirts
don't film so good.
141
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,276
I can go and change.
142
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:53,546
This is just a test.
143
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:56,348
Does Fellini put up
with this kind of abuse?
144
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,485
If you'll just step
around here, please, please.
145
00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:00,019
Uh, Jerry, have the bowl ready.
146
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,254
Right.
Everyone settle, please.
147
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,626
Andhave...
fun with it.
148
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,941
Roll camera.
149
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:24,877
MAN:
Speed.
150
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,046
Action.
151
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:31,651
Hi, Jerry Grey here to tell you
about new Doggone-Its,
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00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:34,821
the dog food that your dog'll
be simply gone on.
153
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,055
And, uh, your name is?
154
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,323
I'm Max, and this is Freeway.
155
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,658
Okay, Max.
156
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:42,328
Let's see if Freeway here
likes new Doggone-Its.
157
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:45,364
Look, I gotta warn ya.
Freeway is very finicky.
158
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,800
He don't like
store-bought dog food.
159
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,570
So I-I'm sorry. We're gonna
ruin your commercial.
160
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,673
Well, let's see about that.
161
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,342
Here, Freeway.
162
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:57,710
Freeway?
163
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:58,978
I don't believe it!
164
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,246
MAX:
He's eating it all up.
165
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:01,313
[GREY LAUGHS]
166
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,415
Freeway, I-I-I don't believe it.
167
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,952
What'd you say the name
of this stuff was?
168
00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:07,353
Doggone-Its.
169
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:11,324
Remember, your dog'll be
a goner for Doggone-Its.
170
00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:15,662
Cut!
171
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Beautiful! Perfect!
172
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:17,931
Beautiful! Beautiful!
173
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,401
It was beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful. Simply delicious.
174
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,203
Oh, thank you.
Oh, you were good too, Max.
175
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,439
Oh, Barbara. Barbara.
Get his phone number.
176
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,378
Doggone-Its, huh?
177
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,846
That's incredible stuff.
178
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,883
Freeway just knocked off
a big lunch before we got here.
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00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,818
Really? Hm.
180
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,120
Come on, Freeway.
181
00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:49,830
DIRECTOR:
Everyone... that's a wrap.
182
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:55,568
Oh, Ken. Ken, it was superb.
It was so good.
183
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:58,037
Mr. Davern, you wanna test
any more dogs today?
184
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,271
Oh, Ken, please.
185
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,040
I've already got
fleas and kennel cough.
186
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,775
[CHUCKLES]
Okay. Let's call it a day.
187
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:03,776
[SIGHS]
188
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,044
Teamster.
189
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,979
Where's my teamster?
190
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:07,915
Ah.
191
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,652
Barbara, get the last
three tests to the lab
192
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:16,355
so we can screen them tonight
for Miss Braff and Dr. Cobb.
193
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:19,726
Mr. Davern, we must have tested
two dozen dogs today,
194
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:23,429
and not one turned
his nose up at Doggone-Its.
195
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,997
What's so special about it?
196
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:28,234
Now, what could be special
about dog food?
197
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,570
My ad agency has represented
many dog foods.
198
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,740
It's all in the packaging
and advertising.
199
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,375
You should know that by now.
200
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,881
MAX:
I'm not exaggerating.
201
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,784
The director said
I was a natural.
202
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,453
And he's worked with Brando.
203
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,122
Marlon?
204
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,291
Is there another?
205
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:56,062
Gee, I really hope
they decide to use us.
206
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,764
Well, of course they will.
207
00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:01,200
How could they possibly pass up
anyone as cute as Freeway?
208
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,469
Darling, there are
hundreds of other dogs.
209
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:07,940
Yeah, but none with his
personality, his good looks.
210
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,609
Thanks to my cooking,
he's good-looking.
211
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,344
He's gonna be famous.
212
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:13,646
A star is born.
213
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:14,647
[CHUCKLES]
214
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,548
First, there was Rin-Tin-Tin,
215
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,085
then Lassie, and now...
216
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:20,519
Freeway!
217
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,654
I can see it all:
218
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,256
cross-country tours...
219
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,258
talk shows...
220
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:29,628
Freeway on the cover
of Dog's Life.
221
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,297
[BARKS]
Ooh!
[LAUGHS]
222
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:34,266
You two don't think you're
getting too carried away, do ya?
223
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,903
Oh, we won't let it
go to his head.
224
00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:38,304
We'll still let you play
225
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,306
with all the dogs
in the neighborhood.
226
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,540
If he's got time,
227
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,010
what with personal appearances
and all.
228
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,544
You know something,
229
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,214
Freeway's gonna need an agent.
230
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,116
An agent?
231
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,118
Sure.
232
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,188
[LAUGHS]
233
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,891
That's ridiculous.
234
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:02,129
Freeway's not gonna need
an agent. How silly.
235
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,598
All he's really gonna need is
a business manager.
236
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,535
♪ ♪
237
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,637
GREY [ON TV]:
Doggone-Its.
238
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:14,340
The dog food that your dog'll
be simply gone on.
239
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,975
And, uh, your name is?
240
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:17,944
I'm Max, and this is Freeway.
241
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,411
Okay, Max.
242
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:22,581
Let's see if Freeway here
likes new Doggone-Its.
243
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:25,752
Look, I gotta warn ya.
Freeway is very finicky.
244
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:28,254
He don't like
store-bought dog food.
245
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,389
I'm sorry. We're gonna
ruin your commercial.
246
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,925
Well, let's see about that.
247
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,326
Here, Freeway.
248
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,262
Freeway?
249
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,363
I don't believe it!
250
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,530
He's eating it all up.
251
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,832
[GREY LAUGHS]
252
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,533
What'd you say the name
of this stuff is?
253
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,902
Doggone-Its.
254
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:46,439
Remember, your dog'll be
a goner for Doggone-Its.
255
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,743
SPERLING:
Cut. That was perfect!
256
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:53,045
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
257
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,782
That was marvelous.
Beautiful!
258
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:05,958
Well, those were the best ones.
259
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,295
My vote goes to Freeway and Max.
260
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,164
What do you think, Miss Braff?
261
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,566
I have to agree.
262
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,603
That line about ruining
the commercial is...
263
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,672
solid gold.
264
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,673
Dr. Cobb?
265
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:26,078
The dentist with the schnauzer
wasn't bad.
266
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,614
What about his awful toupee?
267
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:29,949
Which one?
268
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,951
The dentist's
or the schnauzer's?
269
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,253
[CHUCKLING]
270
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,363
Very well, then.
271
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,965
Freeway's our dog.
272
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,299
Good.
273
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,501
Barbara, pick up the film
from the projection booth.
274
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,103
Sure thing.
275
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,905
Jack, hang on to the film.
276
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,141
Barbara's coming to pick it up.
277
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,877
You better hang on to that test.
278
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,780
I want that ad word for word
when we shoot.
279
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,551
♪ ♪
280
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:15,561
DAVERN [OVER PA]:
Doctor, are you sure
no one knows the effects
281
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,263
of the Doggone-Its formula?
282
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:18,898
COBB:
No one but us.
283
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:21,000
And no one will...
284
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:23,235
until it's too late.
285
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,571
DAVERN:
Don't you think you made it
too strong?
286
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:28,674
The initial shipment
must be strong.
287
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,243
After all, what dog owner
288
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:34,547
would deny his little pet
its favorite food?
289
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,750
BRAFF:
We'll dilute
the formula later.
290
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,652
We'll make millions.
291
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:44,157
COBB:
You have no objection
to making your agency famous...
292
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,660
to becoming a millionaire.
293
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,962
Do you, Ken?
294
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:50,898
[DOOR CLOSES]
295
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,900
[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]
Sorry.
296
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,267
You scared me.
297
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:56,835
Ya heard enough?
298
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,437
Nothing.
299
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,907
I guess the intercom button
was, uh...
300
00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:03,911
Maybe Mr. Davern
forgot to turn it off.
301
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:14,320
The doctor doesn't want
any security leaks.
302
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,955
Honest.
303
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:18,490
I wasn't even paying attention.
304
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,192
I won't tell anybody.
305
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,128
That's right.
306
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,296
You won't.
307
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:26,433
[BARBARA MOANS]
308
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:36,842
Doggone-Its dog food spot,
309
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,778
take 23.
310
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:44,750
Hi, Jerry Grey here to tell you
about new Doggone-Its,
311
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:48,054
the dog food that your dog'll be
simply gone on.
312
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,655
And, uh, your name is?
313
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,590
[CLEARS THROAT]
314
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:54,860
[NERVOUSLY]
I am Max, and this is Freeway.
315
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:55,861
[SIGHS]
316
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:57,196
Okay, Max, um,
317
00:14:57,197 --> 00:15:00,700
let's see if Freeway here
likes new Doggone-Its.
318
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:07,573
Wow! Isn't that amazing?
319
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:11,044
I... Uh... What is
the name of this?
320
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:14,346
We'll use the test.
321
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:19,086
Remember, your dog'll be
a goner for Doggone-Its.
322
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,256
Cut.
323
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,058
Oh.
324
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,330
What...?
W-was that all right?
325
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:32,464
It was wonderful, Max.
326
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,433
W-wait, because I...
No, it was fine, just...
327
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,534
I tried to remember the...
328
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,603
Which words to emphasize,
and, uh...
329
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,605
Did I get it right?
330
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:41,940
Mr. Hart,
331
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,209
Mrs. Hart.
332
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,178
Oh, Miss Braff.
333
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,714
Dr. Cobb.
Hello.
334
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:52,584
It looks as if Freeway
really goes for Doggone-Its.
335
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,220
Doesn't it?
336
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:56,922
When is it gonna be available
to buy in the stores?
337
00:15:56,923 --> 00:16:00,859
Until we gear up, we can't go
into full production.
338
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:04,463
But I would be delighted to give
you some sample cans right now.
339
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,998
Oh!
340
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:08,167
Well, we'd certainly
appreciate that.
341
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,069
I'm sure Freeway will too.
342
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,004
BRAFF:
He's a healthy-looking dog.
343
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,772
You look very fit too,
Mr. Hart.
344
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,042
Mm.
345
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:16,909
Thanks.
346
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,746
Either of you wrestle?
347
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,082
I beg your pardon?
348
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,384
Well, yeah,
349
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,553
we wrestle over an occasional
crossword puzzle.
350
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,056
[ALL CHUCKLE]
351
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,558
Why do you ask?
352
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:33,759
BRAFF:
I was curious.
353
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,628
Wrestling is a hobby of mine.
354
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,697
Well, in that case, uh...
355
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,632
I don't think we'd better
pull your leg.
356
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,868
[LAUGHING]
Oh, that might be dangerous.
357
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:46,306
I... I've been laid up in this
wheelchair for a month now.
358
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:50,008
Got him in the Argentinean
backbreaker...
359
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,544
pinned him in 30 seconds.
360
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,546
[CHUCKLES]
361
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,983
You mean, the two of you
wrestle each other?
362
00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,552
He just loves contact sports.
363
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,221
COBB:
Indeed, I do.
364
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:06,458
Mrs. Hart, perhaps when
I'm back on my feet again,
365
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:10,463
you and Mr. Hart
would like to join Ruby and me.
366
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,732
For dinner?
367
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,933
Wrestling!
368
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,536
You know, a tag team match.
369
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,505
Girls against the boys.
370
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:22,208
The doctor and I
are always looking for...
371
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,209
partners.
372
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,144
[CHUCKLES]
373
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:30,116
Oh, you know, I... I was just
saying to Jonathan the other day
374
00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:33,219
that jogging
is getting to be so...
375
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:34,220
dull.
376
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:36,022
Oh.
Ooh.
377
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:39,491
Well...
378
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:40,492
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
379
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,862
Uh, Freeway.
Come here, baby.
380
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:45,897
Miss Braff, Dr. Cobb.
381
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,667
Come on, darling, let's go home.
382
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:49,369
Max.
383
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:54,440
Thanks. I'll try to remember
all the motivations you gave me.
384
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:55,441
Marvelous.
385
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:56,608
Time to go home.
386
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:57,544
Ah.
387
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:02,080
So long. Hope I see you
in the next take.
388
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,016
♪ ♪
389
00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:15,093
Yesterday, we ran out
of Doggone-Its.
390
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,629
He won't eat anything else.
391
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:20,399
Freeway is not Freeway.
392
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,334
He's so sluggish.
393
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,136
He's not playful.
394
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,338
He won't eat my cooking.
395
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:28,774
That ain't my Freeway.
396
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,309
Of course it is.
397
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,078
He's the same old Freeway.
398
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,913
It's just that...
399
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:38,151
stardom is taxing on anyone.
400
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,358
Here, baby.
401
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:48,694
Max made it specially for you.
402
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,263
It's your favorite.
403
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:52,765
[WHINES]
404
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,439
[BARKS]
405
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,907
What's he doing?
406
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,775
Isn't that where you
kept the Doggone-Its.
407
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:04,776
Right.
408
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,279
[BARKS]
409
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:10,382
He certainly misses them.
410
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,484
Misses them?
411
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,722
He can't live without them.
412
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:18,357
[BARKS]
413
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,293
♪ ♪
414
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,745
You can have any of those
publicity stills you want.
415
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,648
So how does it feel
to be the owners of a dog
416
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,016
that's about to be thrust
into the national limelight?
417
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,954
Well... not much different
than before.
418
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:51,557
Mr. Davern, you're the head
of advertising for Doggone-Its?
419
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,825
Yes, I am.
420
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:54,826
What's in it?
421
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:56,662
The ingredients?
422
00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:58,129
Yes.
423
00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,098
Uh... here.
424
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:01,868
Read 'em for yourself.
425
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,804
Wow.
Wow.
426
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,706
Certainly goes on forever.
427
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,908
Oh, we've developed
some new flavor enhancers,
428
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:12,210
but, basically, it's
standard dog food ingredients.
429
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,980
You see, we design
a great-looking package,
430
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:17,716
and the advertising campaign
does all the rest.
431
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,852
And we've got a couple
of winners in Freeway and Max.
432
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,821
JONATHAN:
Well, I'll tell you
one thing,
433
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,223
Freeway won't eat anything else.
434
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,892
As a matter of fact,
we were so worried,
435
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,395
we took him
to our own veterinarian.
436
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,095
And?
437
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,430
Well...
438
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:33,899
the vet said
he was very healthy.
439
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,603
It's just that he won't touch
any other sort of food.
440
00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:43,375
Oh, don't worry about that,
Mrs. Hart.
441
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,677
I'll send you more Doggone-Its
this afternoon.
442
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:48,280
Well...
thank you.
443
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:51,049
And thanks very much
for the publicity shots.
444
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,718
It's my pleasure.
445
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,386
Buh-bye.
446
00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:56,323
♪ ♪
447
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:33,926
[DOG BARKS]
448
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,136
[DOG WHINES]
449
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:47,440
There you go.
450
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:49,609
That's a good boy.
451
00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:53,145
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
452
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,355
Ah, there you are,
my good friend.
453
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,157
Miss Braff,
Dr. Cobb.
454
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:09,027
Wha-what seems
to be the problem?
455
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,930
You sounded so worried
on the phone.
456
00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:13,164
DAVERN:
It's the Harts.
457
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,299
I'm worried about them.
458
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:15,701
BRAFF:
The Harts?
459
00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:17,869
I find them refreshing.
460
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:19,805
They're in love.
461
00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:21,840
And, they're even married.
462
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:22,875
[CHUCKLES]
463
00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:27,913
Doctor, they're... They're really
curious about Doggone-Its.
464
00:22:27,914 --> 00:22:29,881
They wanted to know
what's in it.
465
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:31,617
Then tell them.
466
00:22:31,618 --> 00:22:34,152
I did. Mr. Hart even took
the list of ingredients.
467
00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:36,054
Hm... So?
468
00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:38,289
It's one thing to have
a list of the ingredients,
469
00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:40,759
and it's quite another thing
470
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,962
to have the formula
for the ingredients.
471
00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:45,231
BRAFF:
Forget the Harts.
472
00:22:46,298 --> 00:22:49,000
We have some big news for you.
473
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:52,303
Telmore Foods
will be branching out.
474
00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:53,705
Oh?
475
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:56,975
A whole new line of foods...
476
00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:58,176
for people.
477
00:22:58,177 --> 00:23:01,747
When we started this,
you said just animals.
478
00:23:01,748 --> 00:23:02,981
People...
479
00:23:02,982 --> 00:23:04,850
It's immoral. You can't!
480
00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:06,317
Can't?
481
00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:08,987
I should think
you'd be delighted.
482
00:23:08,988 --> 00:23:10,722
You'll be handling
the advertising
483
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,323
for a billion-dollar company.
484
00:23:12,324 --> 00:23:13,859
You'll be rich.
485
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:16,327
Richer than you've ever dreamed.
486
00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:19,431
Well, I'll, uh...
487
00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:21,833
I'll have...
I'll have to think about it.
488
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:23,102
By all means...
489
00:23:25,472 --> 00:23:26,538
do.
490
00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:28,339
♪ ♪
491
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:29,275
[BARKING]
492
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:37,784
I think you frightened them.
493
00:23:52,532 --> 00:23:54,801
He may become a problem.
494
00:23:55,968 --> 00:23:58,304
We know how to deal
with problems.
495
00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:03,408
Hm?
496
00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:05,344
♪ ♪
497
00:24:06,479 --> 00:24:07,580
[BARKING]
498
00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:14,219
Here ya go,
Mrs. H. Doggone-Its.
499
00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:16,022
Okay, Freeway.
500
00:24:17,089 --> 00:24:18,724
There you go.
501
00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:21,159
Ooh.
[CHUCKLES]
502
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,694
You think that food's okay?
503
00:24:22,695 --> 00:24:23,695
[SCOFFS]
504
00:24:23,696 --> 00:24:25,297
Don't be so suspicious.
505
00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:30,769
If other dogs like it
half as much as Freeway does,
506
00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:33,139
maybe we should buy stock
in Telmore Foods.
507
00:24:38,044 --> 00:24:40,178
Maybe you should buy
the whole company, Mr. H.
508
00:24:40,179 --> 00:24:41,279
Hey.
509
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,750
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
510
00:24:47,954 --> 00:24:48,954
Hello?
511
00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:51,156
May I speak to Mr. Hart please?
512
00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:52,423
This is Jonathan Hart.
513
00:24:52,424 --> 00:24:54,760
Uh, this is Ken Davern
at the agency.
514
00:24:54,761 --> 00:24:56,361
Oh, yes, Ken.
What can I do for you?
515
00:24:56,362 --> 00:24:58,163
Mr. Hart, I wanna talk to you.
516
00:24:58,164 --> 00:25:01,200
This whole Doggone-Its thing
is getting out of hand.
517
00:25:03,502 --> 00:25:05,471
Can you meet me
in my office right away?
518
00:25:06,372 --> 00:25:08,074
What seems to be the trouble?
519
00:25:09,441 --> 00:25:11,209
N-not on the phone.
520
00:25:11,210 --> 00:25:12,812
I don't trust them anymore.
521
00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:15,146
I'll be waiting for you.
522
00:25:15,147 --> 00:25:16,782
We'll be there right away.
523
00:25:16,783 --> 00:25:18,084
Bye-bye.
524
00:25:19,952 --> 00:25:21,086
[CLICKS]
525
00:25:21,087 --> 00:25:22,321
[DIAL TONE BUZZES]
526
00:25:27,226 --> 00:25:28,595
Who was that?
527
00:25:31,430 --> 00:25:33,098
That was, um,
528
00:25:33,099 --> 00:25:35,134
Ken Davern at the ad agency.
529
00:25:35,668 --> 00:25:36,668
And, uh...
530
00:25:36,669 --> 00:25:38,003
And?
531
00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:39,672
And someone listening in on us.
532
00:25:40,807 --> 00:25:41,941
Hm.
533
00:25:42,742 --> 00:25:44,677
♪ ♪
534
00:26:02,695 --> 00:26:03,696
Ken?
535
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:11,070
DAVERN [OVER TAPE RECORDER]:
And, per our conversation
today... Doggone-Its...
536
00:26:13,005 --> 00:26:15,841
...Monday.
Uh, sincerely, Ken Davern.
537
00:26:15,842 --> 00:26:18,209
Memo to all departments.
538
00:26:18,210 --> 00:26:20,912
There will be a staff meeting
tomorrow morning
539
00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:23,815
at 10 sharp in my office
540
00:26:23,816 --> 00:26:27,018
to discuss the east coast
media buy and subsequent plans
541
00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:30,121
for saturation selling
in the New York and Boston...
542
00:26:30,122 --> 00:26:31,557
Uh, Boston markets.
543
00:26:58,050 --> 00:26:59,818
He is...
544
00:26:59,819 --> 00:27:01,219
Dead.
545
00:27:01,220 --> 00:27:03,054
Ah.
546
00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:03,990
[DOOR OPENS]
547
00:27:09,528 --> 00:27:12,131
Call the police, darling.
I'll be right back.
548
00:27:23,509 --> 00:27:24,476
Hey.
549
00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:35,320
What outfit are you with?
550
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:36,755
Arrowpoint Custodial.
551
00:27:36,756 --> 00:27:37,756
Oh.
552
00:27:37,757 --> 00:27:39,991
Is this, uh, uniform
standard equipment?
553
00:27:39,992 --> 00:27:40,927
Yeah.
554
00:27:44,030 --> 00:27:45,197
How 'bout those?
555
00:27:47,266 --> 00:27:48,667
[GRUNTING]
556
00:28:17,329 --> 00:28:18,731
Jonathan!
557
00:28:22,969 --> 00:28:24,904
♪ ♪
558
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,455
♪ ♪
559
00:29:02,708 --> 00:29:04,209
Jonathan.
560
00:29:04,210 --> 00:29:06,344
[CHUCKLES]
561
00:29:06,345 --> 00:29:07,279
[GRUNTS]
562
00:29:08,915 --> 00:29:10,982
Oh... darling.
563
00:29:10,983 --> 00:29:12,283
Oh, darling.
564
00:29:12,284 --> 00:29:14,685
I thought you fell 21 floors.
565
00:29:14,686 --> 00:29:16,254
That was the idea.
566
00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:19,424
Luckily, the elevator was on 20.
567
00:29:19,425 --> 00:29:21,392
Listen, I think
it's about time we find out
568
00:29:21,393 --> 00:29:22,994
just how they make Doggone-Its.
569
00:29:22,995 --> 00:29:24,095
I'm with you.
570
00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:25,297
Let's go.
571
00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:34,605
Now, our chemistry department
took the ingredients
572
00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:36,274
in every known dog food,
573
00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:38,009
plus the ingredients
in Doggone-Its
574
00:29:38,010 --> 00:29:40,078
and fed them all
into the computer.
575
00:29:40,079 --> 00:29:42,247
So if there's anything
different in Doggone-Its,
576
00:29:42,248 --> 00:29:44,082
it will, uh, show
in this printout, right?
577
00:29:44,083 --> 00:29:45,150
Right you are, sir.
578
00:29:45,151 --> 00:29:46,451
And here they are.
579
00:29:46,452 --> 00:29:49,120
Nitrous sulphonexol and this...
580
00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:53,158
Yeah, that's, uh, dicalcium
sulphoromatol, right?
581
00:29:53,159 --> 00:29:54,192
Precisely.
582
00:29:54,193 --> 00:29:55,293
JENNIFER:
Mm.
583
00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:56,761
Sounds delicious.
584
00:29:56,762 --> 00:29:58,596
No wonder Freeway loves it.
585
00:29:58,597 --> 00:30:00,465
Stanley,
586
00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:03,668
are these ingredients
only found in Doggone-Its?
587
00:30:03,669 --> 00:30:07,306
No. A lot of the foods contain
one or the other of them.
588
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:11,009
Then, that's not it.
589
00:30:11,010 --> 00:30:13,578
Maybe not, but the strange thing
590
00:30:13,579 --> 00:30:15,080
is that only Doggone-Its
591
00:30:15,081 --> 00:30:17,415
contains both these chemicals.
592
00:30:17,416 --> 00:30:20,651
Are you saying that these two
ingredients are harmless,
593
00:30:20,652 --> 00:30:23,354
but if you put them together,
they'd make something different?
594
00:30:23,355 --> 00:30:24,455
It's possible.
595
00:30:24,456 --> 00:30:27,825
For instance, uh,
if you have vodka...
596
00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:30,128
And you add orange juice,
597
00:30:30,129 --> 00:30:31,829
you get a screwdriver.
598
00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:33,331
Right?
599
00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:35,067
If you say so, Mrs. Hart.
600
00:30:36,435 --> 00:30:39,704
Uh, now, here I've arranged
a-a little demonstration.
601
00:30:39,705 --> 00:30:42,573
Now, you see
two harmless chemicals,
602
00:30:42,574 --> 00:30:44,775
but you mix one with the other,
603
00:30:44,776 --> 00:30:47,545
and you get a third thing
that's completely different.
604
00:30:47,546 --> 00:30:48,714
[BUBBLING]
605
00:30:52,818 --> 00:30:55,686
I guess I made this batch
a little strong.
606
00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:58,490
Uh, but I'll take care of it,
Mr. Hart, okay?
607
00:31:02,228 --> 00:31:03,561
Stanley,
608
00:31:03,562 --> 00:31:07,032
what do you think that
the chemicals in Doggone-Its...
609
00:31:07,033 --> 00:31:08,833
What do you think
they're producing?
610
00:31:08,834 --> 00:31:10,101
Um, well, I...
611
00:31:10,102 --> 00:31:11,369
Our chemists seem to think
612
00:31:11,370 --> 00:31:13,939
it's some kind of new,
undetectable stimulant,
613
00:31:13,940 --> 00:31:16,407
but until we get the...
The right chemical balance,
614
00:31:16,408 --> 00:31:17,376
who knows?
615
00:31:19,011 --> 00:31:20,178
If Freeway could only talk,
616
00:31:20,179 --> 00:31:22,147
he could tell us
what the effect was.
617
00:31:22,148 --> 00:31:24,650
It's just too bad that he can't.
618
00:31:26,318 --> 00:31:31,156
Hi, Jerry Grey here to tell you
about new Doggone-Its,
619
00:31:31,157 --> 00:31:33,324
the dog food that your dog'll
be simply gone on.
620
00:31:33,325 --> 00:31:35,693
And, uh, your name is?
621
00:31:35,694 --> 00:31:37,395
I'm Max, and this is Freeway.
622
00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:38,663
Okay, Max, um,
623
00:31:38,664 --> 00:31:40,198
[BARKS]
let's see if Freeway...
624
00:31:40,199 --> 00:31:43,434
Quiet!
This is the world premiere.
625
00:31:43,435 --> 00:31:45,736
MAX [ON TV]:
Freeway is veryfinicky.
626
00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:47,905
He don't like
store-bought dog food.
627
00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:49,874
I'm sorry, we're gonna ruin
your commercial.
628
00:31:49,875 --> 00:31:52,210
JERRY:
Well, let's see about that.
629
00:31:52,211 --> 00:31:54,012
Here, Freeway.
630
00:31:54,013 --> 00:31:57,215
Freeway?
I don't believe it!
631
00:31:57,216 --> 00:31:59,417
He's eating it all up.
[GREY CHUCKLES]
632
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:01,319
What'd you say
the name of this stuff is?
633
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:02,687
Doggone-Its.
634
00:32:02,688 --> 00:32:07,125
Remember, your dog'll be
a goner for Doggone-Its.
635
00:32:07,126 --> 00:32:09,294
That is super.
That's good.
DEANNE: Oh!
636
00:32:09,295 --> 00:32:10,997
JENNIFER:
Well done.
637
00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:14,299
Well done.
638
00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:16,734
I can't understand
why they used that one.
639
00:32:16,735 --> 00:32:18,836
The other was so much more...
640
00:32:18,837 --> 00:32:20,138
meaningful.
641
00:32:20,139 --> 00:32:22,273
MAX:
Well, fame is fleeting,
back to work.
642
00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:25,310
Ah-ah-ah. Max, we had this party
especially for you.
643
00:32:25,311 --> 00:32:26,411
This is your night.
644
00:32:26,412 --> 00:32:27,712
So you relax, we'll take over.
645
00:32:27,713 --> 00:32:29,014
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Thank you.
646
00:32:29,015 --> 00:32:30,148
Oh, I'll get that.
647
00:32:30,149 --> 00:32:31,316
Mrs. Hart,
648
00:32:31,317 --> 00:32:33,251
um, I can help
with the hors d'oeuvres.
649
00:32:33,252 --> 00:32:34,452
Oh, great.
Thanks, Deanne.
650
00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:35,787
Uh, I'll help, Deanne.
651
00:32:40,126 --> 00:32:41,993
Max, with me handling
your career,
652
00:32:41,994 --> 00:32:43,494
you're going all the way
to the top.
653
00:32:43,495 --> 00:32:45,396
Yeah?
You think so?
654
00:32:45,397 --> 00:32:47,999
If he does for you
what he did for me, honey,
655
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,534
good luck.
656
00:32:49,535 --> 00:32:51,103
Isn't she great?
657
00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,941
Ooh, I don't know
what to bring out first.
658
00:32:56,942 --> 00:32:58,710
This pâté looks good.
659
00:33:04,616 --> 00:33:05,650
Mm.
660
00:33:05,651 --> 00:33:07,118
Mm-mm, okay,
661
00:33:07,119 --> 00:33:09,520
well, then, I'll
bring out the wine,
662
00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:11,689
and, uh, this ice bucket,
663
00:33:11,690 --> 00:33:12,723
and you bring the pâté.
664
00:33:12,724 --> 00:33:13,959
Okay.
Okay.
665
00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:19,565
Stanley.
666
00:33:22,101 --> 00:33:23,134
Today.
667
00:33:23,135 --> 00:33:24,170
Okay.
668
00:33:27,139 --> 00:33:29,674
You know, I think
with a little more exposure,
669
00:33:29,675 --> 00:33:31,376
I could sit in
for Johnny Carson.
670
00:33:31,377 --> 00:33:32,643
Why not?
671
00:33:32,644 --> 00:33:35,080
As a matter of fact,
Johnny is a very, very dear
672
00:33:35,081 --> 00:33:36,548
personal friend of mine.
673
00:33:38,750 --> 00:33:40,685
"He-e-e-ere's Max."
674
00:33:40,686 --> 00:33:41,620
[LAUGHS]
675
00:33:42,654 --> 00:33:44,355
STANLEY:
Um, place them over there.
676
00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:45,490
DEANNE:
Oh, okay.
677
00:33:45,491 --> 00:33:47,826
Here's some great pâté.
Try it.
678
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,262
[SNIFFS]
679
00:33:51,130 --> 00:33:52,430
No, thanks.
680
00:33:52,431 --> 00:33:54,133
I'm a vegetarian.
681
00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:56,000
Looks great.
682
00:33:56,001 --> 00:33:57,868
No, I don't think
I should have any.
683
00:33:57,869 --> 00:33:59,937
I gotta watch out
for my waistline now.
684
00:33:59,938 --> 00:34:01,407
[GIGGLES]
Oh.
685
00:34:02,374 --> 00:34:03,374
Deanne.
686
00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:04,475
This is very wet.
Yeah?
687
00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:05,510
Want...?
688
00:34:05,511 --> 00:34:07,145
Oh, perfect.
Thanks.
689
00:34:07,146 --> 00:34:08,846
[SIGHS]
690
00:34:08,847 --> 00:34:10,281
Freeway.
691
00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:12,350
Well, he doesn't seem to be
having too good a time.
692
00:34:12,351 --> 00:34:13,484
No, he doesn't.
693
00:34:13,485 --> 00:34:14,885
Maybe it's the excitement.
694
00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:16,053
What do you think?
Ah.
695
00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:18,824
Nah, it's time for dinner.
696
00:34:19,858 --> 00:34:21,192
Come on, Freeway.
697
00:34:21,193 --> 00:34:22,661
Time to eat.
698
00:34:24,730 --> 00:34:26,364
Are there any carrots?
699
00:34:26,365 --> 00:34:27,365
Carrots?
700
00:34:27,366 --> 00:34:28,699
No vegetables.
701
00:34:28,700 --> 00:34:29,701
Just pâté.
702
00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:35,207
I got it all ready
for ya, Freeway.
703
00:34:39,145 --> 00:34:42,013
I could have swore I left this
full of dog food.
704
00:34:45,517 --> 00:34:48,420
We didn't have any pâté
in the house.
705
00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:51,890
Oh, jeez!
706
00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,662
MAN:
A guy goes into
the doctor's office,
707
00:34:57,663 --> 00:35:00,198
says, "Doc, you gotta help me.
I think I'm a dog."
708
00:35:00,199 --> 00:35:02,367
The doctor says,
"How long you felt this way?"
709
00:35:02,368 --> 00:35:03,901
He says,
"Ever since I was a puppy."
710
00:35:03,902 --> 00:35:05,604
[ALL LAUGH]
711
00:35:12,578 --> 00:35:13,811
This is interesting.
712
00:35:13,812 --> 00:35:15,946
Mm-hm.
Is it duck or goose?
713
00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:17,148
I don't know.
714
00:35:17,149 --> 00:35:19,284
Has a bite to it.
Mm.
715
00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:20,851
Or should I say peck?
716
00:35:20,852 --> 00:35:21,787
[ALL LAUGH]
717
00:35:23,555 --> 00:35:25,590
DEANNE:
It's sort of like
eating peanuts.
718
00:35:25,591 --> 00:35:27,225
One just isn't enough.
719
00:35:27,226 --> 00:35:28,326
MAX:
You can't eat that.
720
00:35:28,327 --> 00:35:29,627
Says who?
Ah!
721
00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:31,862
He's on TV once,
he thinks he's a big star.
722
00:35:31,863 --> 00:35:33,331
Beat it, Bogart.
723
00:35:33,332 --> 00:35:34,666
[ALL LAUGHING]
724
00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:36,967
Mrs. H,
725
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:38,569
the pâté.
726
00:35:38,570 --> 00:35:41,005
What pâté, Max?
We're not serving pâté.
727
00:35:41,006 --> 00:35:42,841
We're only serving
cheese and crackers.
728
00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:52,850
You know that from here,
that, uh, so-called pâté
729
00:35:52,851 --> 00:35:55,187
looks like Doggone-Its.
730
00:35:57,022 --> 00:36:00,025
You mean, when they were
in the kitchen helping to serve?
731
00:36:02,127 --> 00:36:04,529
It's okay, Max.
It's not your fault.
732
00:36:04,530 --> 00:36:06,232
[ALL LAUGHING]
733
00:36:12,137 --> 00:36:13,971
Yeah. I got it.
734
00:36:13,972 --> 00:36:15,573
How's it going?
735
00:36:15,574 --> 00:36:16,574
Well...
736
00:36:16,575 --> 00:36:18,209
[GIGGLES]
737
00:36:18,210 --> 00:36:19,645
it's almost gone.
738
00:36:21,380 --> 00:36:23,180
[SOBBING]
I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
739
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:26,016
Oh. Well, that's nothing
to get upset about.
740
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,618
Oh, yes, it is.
741
00:36:27,619 --> 00:36:29,255
[SOBS]
742
00:36:30,822 --> 00:36:32,690
How are you doing?
743
00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:35,393
[LAUGHS]
744
00:36:35,394 --> 00:36:38,929
This pâté is delicioso.
745
00:36:38,930 --> 00:36:41,031
Wait till I tell
the little woman about it.
746
00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:42,400
[CHUCKLES]
747
00:36:42,401 --> 00:36:44,535
And while I'm at it,
I think I'll tell my wife.
748
00:36:44,536 --> 00:36:45,604
[BOTH LAUGH]
749
00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:47,772
Oh, my.
750
00:36:47,773 --> 00:36:49,106
[MURMURS]
751
00:36:49,107 --> 00:36:50,075
Stanley?
752
00:36:51,142 --> 00:36:53,178
Are you all right, Stanley?
753
00:36:55,180 --> 00:36:56,747
There was nobody
driving, officer.
754
00:36:56,748 --> 00:36:58,549
I swear, we were
in the back seat.
755
00:36:58,550 --> 00:36:59,917
[SOBBING]
Oh, no.
756
00:36:59,918 --> 00:37:01,420
[LAUGHING]
757
00:37:03,255 --> 00:37:06,123
Gretchen died, and I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
758
00:37:06,124 --> 00:37:08,225
Gretchen?
759
00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:10,227
My gerbil.
760
00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:14,064
I went to kindergarten class,
and when I came home...
761
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:15,733
she was gone.
762
00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:17,603
[LAUGHS]
[SOBS]
763
00:37:24,976 --> 00:37:26,545
[WEEPING]
It's not funny.
764
00:37:28,447 --> 00:37:30,281
I'm very upset.
765
00:37:30,282 --> 00:37:31,882
Good night.
Thanks for coming.
766
00:37:31,883 --> 00:37:32,883
Good night, Janice.
767
00:37:32,884 --> 00:37:34,184
[STANLEY LAUGHING]
768
00:37:34,185 --> 00:37:35,753
Uh-oh.
769
00:37:35,754 --> 00:37:37,755
Oh. Oh.
Thanks a lot, Mr. Hart.
770
00:37:37,756 --> 00:37:38,856
Great party.
771
00:37:38,857 --> 00:37:40,325
Great.
Thank you, Mrs. Hart.
772
00:37:40,326 --> 00:37:41,359
[GIGGLES]
773
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:42,693
Stanley, you're not driving.
774
00:37:42,694 --> 00:37:43,761
Driving?
775
00:37:43,762 --> 00:37:45,930
You're in no condition to drive.
776
00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:47,698
We're not driving, we're flying.
777
00:37:47,699 --> 00:37:49,033
[BOTH IMITATE ROOSTERS]
778
00:37:49,034 --> 00:37:50,535
[BOTH LAUGH]
779
00:37:50,536 --> 00:37:51,536
See you later.
780
00:37:51,537 --> 00:37:52,537
Toodle-loo.
781
00:37:52,538 --> 00:37:53,538
Bye.
782
00:37:53,539 --> 00:37:55,105
Stanley, uh...
783
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:57,442
It's okay, Mr. Hart,
I'll drive him home.
784
00:37:57,443 --> 00:37:59,677
WOMAN:
Thank you very much,
Mrs. Hart.
785
00:37:59,678 --> 00:38:00,746
JENNIFER:
Thanks.
786
00:38:04,249 --> 00:38:08,218
JONATHAN:
You know, Freeway is not
the only one that can't talk.
787
00:38:08,219 --> 00:38:09,820
JENNIFER:
You can say that again.
788
00:38:09,821 --> 00:38:12,123
You know, Freeway is not
the only one...
Ah-ah.
789
00:38:14,259 --> 00:38:16,193
There is something else
in Doggone-Its.
790
00:38:16,194 --> 00:38:18,530
Obviously, it's a narcotic.
791
00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:23,769
Jonathan,
792
00:38:25,036 --> 00:38:27,739
where can I buy that pâté?
793
00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:30,575
Well, if we don't
put a stop to it,
794
00:38:30,576 --> 00:38:33,177
you're going to be able to get
it in your local supermarket.
795
00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:34,580
Gourmet section?
796
00:38:35,213 --> 00:38:36,514
Pet food.
797
00:38:36,515 --> 00:38:38,083
Pet food?
798
00:38:41,487 --> 00:38:42,487
[LAUGHING]
799
00:38:42,488 --> 00:38:44,523
[MOUTHING]
Pet food.
800
00:38:48,226 --> 00:38:49,395
Pet...
801
00:38:51,397 --> 00:38:53,164
[GLASS BREAKING]
802
00:39:01,139 --> 00:39:03,074
♪ ♪
803
00:39:11,583 --> 00:39:13,183
So the Harts know.
804
00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:15,453
I think,
Mr. Cutshall,
805
00:39:15,454 --> 00:39:18,924
that they should be dealt with
with dispatch.
806
00:39:21,860 --> 00:39:23,561
Right away, Mr. Cutshall.
807
00:39:23,562 --> 00:39:27,231
But they've proved to be
very elusive.
808
00:39:27,232 --> 00:39:29,634
Don't worry.
There'll be no slip-ups.
809
00:39:29,635 --> 00:39:30,968
I'll go after 'em.
810
00:39:30,969 --> 00:39:32,670
Why go after them?
811
00:39:32,671 --> 00:39:35,306
Perhaps they can be persuaded
to come to you.
812
00:39:38,577 --> 00:39:41,246
Let's put on our thinking caps.
813
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:43,682
[DOGS GROWL AND BARK]
814
00:39:51,723 --> 00:39:53,659
♪ ♪
815
00:39:57,563 --> 00:39:59,664
I'll be right back, Freeway,
816
00:39:59,665 --> 00:40:01,667
soon as I finish the dishes.
817
00:40:15,447 --> 00:40:16,514
[KISSES]
818
00:40:16,515 --> 00:40:18,015
Come on, Freeway.
819
00:40:18,016 --> 00:40:19,383
Psst.
Freeway.
820
00:40:19,384 --> 00:40:20,451
Freeway.
821
00:40:20,452 --> 00:40:22,352
Come on, Freeway.
822
00:40:22,353 --> 00:40:23,954
Come on.
823
00:40:23,955 --> 00:40:25,790
Freeway, come on.
824
00:40:25,791 --> 00:40:27,257
Come on, Freeway.
825
00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:28,694
[KISSES]
826
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:43,609
[YELPS AND BARKS]
827
00:40:45,811 --> 00:40:47,846
Okay, Freeway, it's ti...
828
00:40:50,181 --> 00:40:51,483
Freeway?
829
00:40:52,551 --> 00:40:54,019
Freeway?
830
00:40:56,955 --> 00:40:58,456
Freeway, here, boy.
831
00:41:01,159 --> 00:41:02,393
Freeway.
832
00:41:04,195 --> 00:41:05,363
Freeway!
833
00:41:07,232 --> 00:41:09,167
♪ ♪
834
00:41:11,236 --> 00:41:12,803
I just don't understand Freeway.
835
00:41:12,804 --> 00:41:15,305
He's never disappeared
like this before.
836
00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:16,607
It's my fault.
837
00:41:16,608 --> 00:41:18,342
I heard him bark,
then he was gone.
838
00:41:18,343 --> 00:41:20,244
Don't blame yourself, Max.
839
00:41:20,245 --> 00:41:22,079
But I should have kept
an eye on him.
840
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,281
I knew he was under
a lot of pressure.
841
00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:26,350
Now, how are we gonna find him?
842
00:41:26,351 --> 00:41:29,119
Well, we looked for him
all last night.
843
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,922
I don't know
what else we can do.
844
00:41:31,923 --> 00:41:33,824
[PHONE RINGING]
845
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:34,760
I'll get it.
846
00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:40,097
Hello.
847
00:41:40,098 --> 00:41:42,499
COBB:
Hello, Mr. Hart,
848
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:47,371
I think your guardian angel
has been working overtime.
849
00:41:47,372 --> 00:41:50,975
At any rate, I think
we've found your little doggy.
850
00:41:50,976 --> 00:41:54,078
The name on the collar
was Freeway,
851
00:41:54,079 --> 00:41:56,814
and the telephone number
was yours.
852
00:41:56,815 --> 00:41:59,216
Oh, that's wonderful.
They found Freeway.
853
00:41:59,217 --> 00:42:01,518
They got all the information
off the tag on his collar.
854
00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:02,453
How is he?
855
00:42:03,454 --> 00:42:04,822
Is he all right?
856
00:42:04,823 --> 00:42:07,024
Oh, he's perfect.
Just perfect.
857
00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:10,695
But I fear
he misses you dreadfully.
858
00:42:10,696 --> 00:42:11,996
Listen, we thank you very much.
859
00:42:11,997 --> 00:42:13,964
You know that there is
a reward in this for you.
860
00:42:13,965 --> 00:42:16,300
Uh, where can we pick him up?
861
00:42:16,301 --> 00:42:20,404
[CHUCKLES]
460 Redmond Drive.
862
00:42:20,405 --> 00:42:22,206
We'll be there
in about 20 minutes.
863
00:42:22,207 --> 00:42:23,440
20 minutes.
864
00:42:23,441 --> 00:42:25,209
Oh, that's perfect.
865
00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:26,745
Just perfect.
866
00:42:31,583 --> 00:42:33,450
What a gentleman.
867
00:42:33,451 --> 00:42:35,954
We're getting a reward.
868
00:42:44,663 --> 00:42:47,832
Are you sure
he said 460 Redmond?
869
00:42:47,833 --> 00:42:49,399
Positive.
870
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,536
Well, there doesn't
seem to be a 460.
871
00:42:52,537 --> 00:42:54,472
♪ ♪
872
00:43:08,620 --> 00:43:09,687
Watch out!
Duck!
873
00:43:09,688 --> 00:43:10,855
[TIRES SCREECHING]
874
00:43:10,856 --> 00:43:12,357
[GUNSHOTS]
875
00:43:13,591 --> 00:43:14,559
[GUNSHOT]
876
00:43:21,066 --> 00:43:22,533
[TIRES SCREECHING]
877
00:43:43,855 --> 00:43:45,222
Where are we going now?
878
00:43:45,223 --> 00:43:47,492
To get Freeway,
if it's not too late.
879
00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:52,529
L.A. Mobile.
Come in, L.A. Mobile.
880
00:43:52,530 --> 00:43:53,865
Get me the police.
881
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,262
[DOGS BARKING]
882
00:44:35,774 --> 00:44:38,409
You guys haven't seen
Freeway, have you?
883
00:44:44,783 --> 00:44:47,052
I'll check down there.
You go that way, darling.
884
00:45:05,636 --> 00:45:07,372
[LIQUID BUBBLING]
885
00:45:32,163 --> 00:45:35,065
Well... hello, Miss Braff.
886
00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:36,566
Well, Mr. Hart,
887
00:45:36,567 --> 00:45:38,635
here we are.
888
00:45:38,636 --> 00:45:40,871
Alone at last.
889
00:45:40,872 --> 00:45:43,573
You know, ever since I met you,
890
00:45:43,574 --> 00:45:47,177
I wanted to get you in a clinch.
891
00:45:47,178 --> 00:45:49,079
Oh. One of those, uh,
892
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,081
two out of three falls
kind of thing, huh?
893
00:45:51,082 --> 00:45:52,416
One-hour time limit?
894
00:45:52,417 --> 00:45:54,451
As a matter of fact,
895
00:45:54,452 --> 00:45:57,155
this will only take a second.
896
00:46:11,502 --> 00:46:12,570
[GRUNTS]
897
00:46:35,660 --> 00:46:36,994
COBB:
Hold it right there,
898
00:46:36,995 --> 00:46:39,229
Mr. Hart!
899
00:46:39,230 --> 00:46:40,230
[CHUCKLES]
900
00:46:40,231 --> 00:46:41,465
It was foolish of me
901
00:46:41,466 --> 00:46:43,667
to send Mr. Cutshall
after you.
902
00:46:43,668 --> 00:46:45,269
When all is said and done,
903
00:46:45,270 --> 00:46:46,937
if you want a job done properly,
904
00:46:46,938 --> 00:46:49,974
you have to do it yourself.
905
00:46:49,975 --> 00:46:51,608
[CHUCKLES]
906
00:46:51,609 --> 00:46:54,778
It's such a naughty old world,
Mr. Hart.
907
00:46:54,779 --> 00:46:57,314
You'll be so much better off...
[GUN COCKS]
908
00:46:57,315 --> 00:46:58,949
out of it.
909
00:46:58,950 --> 00:47:00,151
Jonathan!
910
00:47:11,696 --> 00:47:13,131
[BOTH SCREAMING]
911
00:47:14,599 --> 00:47:16,200
Relax.
912
00:47:16,201 --> 00:47:18,335
Once you get hooked,
you're gonna love it.
913
00:47:18,336 --> 00:47:20,804
Yes, it's an acquired taste.
914
00:47:20,805 --> 00:47:23,941
[BOTH GRUNTING]
915
00:47:23,942 --> 00:47:25,877
♪ ♪
916
00:47:30,515 --> 00:47:32,450
♪ ♪
917
00:47:35,486 --> 00:47:37,889
"Dictionary gleanings, for short."
918
00:47:39,925 --> 00:47:41,926
Refs. Reference.
919
00:47:41,927 --> 00:47:44,262
R-E-F.
920
00:47:45,296 --> 00:47:47,132
Darling, are you coming to bed?
921
00:47:49,734 --> 00:47:51,169
I sure am.
922
00:47:53,171 --> 00:47:54,204
Hey, Freeway,
923
00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:57,908
now, you know
that we have got rules
924
00:47:57,909 --> 00:48:00,077
for this kind of thing.
You know that.
925
00:48:00,078 --> 00:48:02,579
Oh, darling, couldn't we just
make an exception tonight?
926
00:48:02,580 --> 00:48:04,014
He's been such a good boy.
927
00:48:04,015 --> 00:48:05,182
Oh, you're right.
928
00:48:05,183 --> 00:48:07,251
He's been a brick all the way,
929
00:48:07,252 --> 00:48:09,119
even when he had to go
cold turkey.
930
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:10,154
[BARKS]
931
00:48:10,155 --> 00:48:11,221
Hey, good dog.
932
00:48:11,222 --> 00:48:12,990
Well, will you listen to that.
933
00:48:12,991 --> 00:48:14,925
He finally likes turkey.
934
00:48:14,926 --> 00:48:16,193
Thank God.
Come here.
935
00:48:16,194 --> 00:48:19,563
You know, having a dog with
a golden paw is a bit much.
936
00:48:19,564 --> 00:48:21,731
[KISSES]
Poor baby.
He's been through a lot.
937
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:23,233
He's been through a lot?
Yes.
938
00:48:23,234 --> 00:48:24,468
What about me?
939
00:48:24,469 --> 00:48:25,702
I got shot at,
940
00:48:25,703 --> 00:48:27,337
thrown down an elevator shaft,
941
00:48:27,338 --> 00:48:30,507
not to mention narrowly escaping
the Argentinean backbreaker.
942
00:48:30,508 --> 00:48:32,676
Yes, but think of Freeway.
943
00:48:32,677 --> 00:48:35,479
He's had his career
nipped in the bud.
944
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:37,381
Well, tough luck, old buddy,
945
00:48:37,382 --> 00:48:39,149
but that's television.
946
00:48:39,150 --> 00:48:40,618
It's dog-eat-dog.
947
00:48:41,619 --> 00:48:42,587
[BARKING]
948
00:48:44,555 --> 00:48:46,491
♪ ♪
949
00:48:49,027 --> 00:48:50,962
♪ ♪
62255
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