All language subtitles for Hart.To.Hart.S02E03.WEBRip.x264-ION10

♪ ♪

NARRATOR:
This is my boss, Jonathan Hart,
a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows
how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy,

'cause when they met,
it was murder.

♪ ♪

[WHIMPERS]

JENNIFER:
I had the most awful dream
last night.

We were, uh...
We were in France, and...

You fell into this huge vat
of Beaujolais.

Well, if it was a '73,

I probably never bothered
to come up.

Oh, but you did.

You kept coming up
and going down

and coming up again.

And every time you came up,
you were a few years younger,

until finally,
you were only 15 years old.

Isn't that awful?

Not if we could find
the winery again.

You wanna know something?

[CHUCKLES]

I would never want
to be 15 again.

You wouldn't? Why not?

Because when I was 15,

I never spent
such exciting evenings.

What about the mornings?

Look over there.

Oh!

For us?
Mm-hm.

What'd I do to deserve this?

You did everything.

I thought we could take
a ride this morning, hm?

But I don't remember

what the weatherman
predicted last night.

[LAUGHS]

That's because we only watched
through the sports, remember?

♪ ♪

Tired?

No, I like riding behind you.

I hope that's a compliment.

You can be sure of it.

Did you see the license plate
on that limo?

"Big Bucks."

JONATHAN:
Big deal.

You know, Dominique,
I don't get you.

You got everything
you could want.

Clothes, jewelry.

I even got you a chauffeur
to drive you around.

So, what's with the bike bit?

[SIGHS]

It's called staying
in shape, Martin.

Some of us still care

what we look like
with our clothes off.

[CHUCKLES]

What's wrong with that?

Thank you, Nelson.

You're quite welcome, madam.

Hey, hey.
Shut the door, Nelson.

Shut the door, would you please?
We're losing air conditioning.

I'm sorry, sir.

♪ ♪

Like to take a rest?

Tired?
I thought you might be.

Are you kidding?

Didn't you know that women excel

in sports that require
prolonged endurance?

Yeah, I've heard
that women also like sports

that require great bursts
of energy.

[CHUCKLES]

Boy, I could sure go for

one of Max's huevos rancheros
right now.

Oh, I know what you mean.

Even the vegetation
is beginning to look edible.

What about an ice cream?

I thought you'd never ask.

I'll tell you what.

I'll race you to Tony's.
Loser treats.

I'll even give you a handicap.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

One day on a bike
and you're already Evel Knievel.

Okay, I tell you what.

Give me a count of 30.

You got it.
Now.

♪ ♪

BARNEY:
Benton. Who's he kidding?

I'm doing three years hard time,

and he's in Vegas
with his chick on his arm,

spending my share
at the Desert Sunrise.

Look, I know.

He shoulda passed ya
somethin' extra

for taking the full rap.

Yeah, but if he's gonna keep
this up,

he's gonna have to pay plenty.
Right, Mick?

Whatever you say, Barney.
You're the big brother.

She'll be here. She comes by
here every Saturday.

♪ ♪

There she is. Let's go.

[TIRES SCREECH]

Hey, you're getting
a little too close!

[SCREAMS]

Don't move. Don't shout.

Don't do anything.

Hey, look, I'm sorry
if I cut you off, but...

Just shut up and sit still.

Okay. Okay.

It's too hot
to walk today anyway. Heh.

Just be cool, Dominique,

if you ever want to see
your old man again.

Dominique?

I can't figure out
what could've happened to her.

Oh, she'll be along
in a minute, Mr. Hart.

Here. Thanks a lot, Tony.

See ya.

Hey, kiddo.

Did you see a lady,
very good-looking,

wearing white, riding a bicycle?

No, but I wish I had.

Thanks.

♪ ♪

Did you have a nice ride,
Mrs. Benton?

Yes, I did.
Thank you, Nelson.

Jennifer.

Yes?

I'm sorry, but I...

I thought you were my wife.

What an intriguing possibility.

Give us a break, would ya, pal?
Does she look like your wife?

Yeah, as a matter of fact,
she does.

You're a lucky guy.

Hey, mister.

Hey, mister, look.

I found this bike,
just like yours,

lying across the sidewalk.

Looks like someone had

a bad accident.

JONATHAN:
Larry, don't make me beg.

You didn't hesitate to call me
when you were in trouble.

Now, I need the favor,
and I need it now.

This is Jennifer
we're talking about.

You understand me?

You get back to me.

Now, lieutenant, I told you.

We ain't had no ransom call yet.

[RINGS]

Yeah?

What do ya mean
you've looked everywhere?

Keep on looking.
Get the word around.

You know all the right people.

I don't care what it costs.

Get to 'em.

Okay.

Right, I understand.
Okay. Thanks.

Lieutenant says that usually
in a kidnap case,

you hear within 24 hours.

I just can't sit
around here, Max.

I'm gonna go take another look.
[RINGS]

You looked already. Come on,
you gotta get some rest.

Hart residence.

This is Althea Prinz,
Los Angeles Tribune.

We already got
two subscriptions.

Who is that?

Some dame with a phony accent
called Althea Prinz.

Yeah, she's a...
A gossip columnist.

She writes about celebrities
and scandals

and things like that.

Mr. Hart doesn't give interviews
to gossip columnists.

I am a society reporter.

Now, I insist you put Mr. Hart
on the wire.

It's about his wife.

She says it's about Mrs. H.

This is Jonathan Hart.

What do you have on my wife?

Nothing as yet, Mr. Hart.

But I'd like to have

an exclusive
on Jennifer's disappearance.

What disappearance?

The one I heard about
from my contacts downtown.

Oh, and I thought I had friends
in the police department.

Well, Ms. Prinz, let's just say
that Jennifer's disappearance

was, um, let's...
Let's call it "lost in action."

The police are doing everything
they can to keep this quiet.

I'm sure that
you will cooperate.

It will make a big difference
as far as Jennifer is concerned.

You understand?
Of course.

I have no desire to interfere
with Mrs. Hart's safety.

But you must understand
the responsibility

of the journalist to the reader.

Surely you believe in freedom
of the press, Mr. Hart?

No comment.

Thank you very much,
Ms. Prinz.

She isn't gonna print
the story, is she?

She's made her reputation
on destroying other people's.

I don't think
she's going to have

a sudden attack
of decency, do you?

What time is it, Max?

Don't worry.
The 24 hours ain't up yet.

Did you deep-six the van?
Yeah. No problem.

What's the matter,
Mrs. Benton?

Not up to your usual standards?

Not like the rich food Benton's
been feeding you with my money?

You should have seen the slop
they fed me in the slammer.

You'd be grateful
for what you got.

Go ahead, Dominique, eat.

For the twentieth time,
I told you I'm not Dominique.

Then who are ya?

I'm...

I'm somebody else.

You got some ID
to show you're somebody else?

Well, of course
I don't have any ID.

I was bicycling, remember?

Uh-huh. Just like you do
every Saturday.

But pretending
is not gonna get you

out of this alive,
Mrs. Benton.

Just like Marty Benkovich

pretending to be
respectable Martin Benton,

don't make him
any less of a slob.

You gonna eat this?

No.

Now, you just stay put, baby.

I'm gonna phone your old man

to let him know
that you're all right,

for the time being.

[PHONE RINGING]

Yeah?

BARNEY:
Is this Martin Benkovich?

Speakin'.

Hi, Marty. This is Barney.

Barney who?

"Barney who"?

Barney that took the rap
and did the time, wise guy.

Oh. That Barney.

Yeah, we got your lovely wife
here now.

I thought you'd probably
want her back

as soon as we've ironed out

the financial details
of this transaction.

You know, Barney, it seems what
little is left of your brain

is turning to watermelon.

Very cute, Marty.
You ready to talk business,

or, uh, shall I conclude
this transaction right now?

I'd be just as happy
to ring up a "no sale".

♪ ♪

I don't know what you're
carrying on about, pal.

My lovely wife's standing
right here next to me.

Don't try to con me, Benkovich.
It won't work this time!

Barney, look,
she's worth nothing to us dead.

Sit down!

Bet you'd like to talk
to your wife.

I've been talking to her
all night.

I think it's about time
maybe you spoke to her.

Do me a favor.
Say hi to this banana brain.

Hello, banana brain.

This is Dominique Benton.

Yeah, and this is the president
of the United States.

Well, it's been delightful
to talk to you, Jimmy.

But it sounds to me as if
you've had one too many peanut.

She's a real doll, isn't she,
Barney, pal?

To know her is to love her.

Too bad you'll never have
the pleasure.

Well, it's obviously
a case of mistaken identity.

What did I tell you?

Like I said.
So I'll just go on home.

You don't have to drive me.

I'll get a cab or walk.

No, no, wait. I-I can...
I-I can drop her, Barney.

You can drop her off a cliff.
She's not going anywhere.

He's got another broad
there with him.

The last time I fell
for one of his tricks,

I did three years.

This time, it's gonna cost him

500 grand.

Well, it looks like, uh...

you're gonna be here
for a while, Dominique,

so, look, why don't ya just...

Sit down and...

I don't know.
Eat... Eat something.

♪ ♪

JONATHAN:
"Wealthy Industrialist's
Wife Missing."

"Although the police were
reluctant to reveal the details,

a kidnapping
has not been excluded."

Althea Prinz's column.

Oh, you guys suck a lot
of water down there.

Aw, come on, Jonathan,
give me a break.

You're really hot down there.

Aw, come on, Jonathan.

I can't keep
everybody's mouth shut.

Let me ask you something.

Have you got a plan?

Do you have anything going
about this?

Uh, we... We have a plan.

In a manner of speaking,
we have a plan.

Look, Jonathan,
it's a kidnapping.

I mean, come on,
what are you gonna do?

You gotta wait for them to make

the first move, right?

When it comes to Jennifer,
I make the first move.

No, Jonathan,
we make the first moves

when it comes to Jennifer.

We're involved now...
Then make one.

Jonathan, I would do that
if you just try and trust me

a little while longer on this.

Would ya, please?
Come on, Jonathan.

God, I've known you guys
a long time.

I really care about Jennifer.

It's rough, I know.
I'm sorry too.

Not as sorry as we'll be
if anything happens to Mrs. H.

♪ ♪

Hi.
Hi.

Look, I... I brought you some
food that you might like better.

That other stuff is...

Oh, well, thank you.
Here, let me help you.

Barney awake yet?

Barney? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, as a matter of fact,

he called your name
just as you came in.

He wants his paper.
Ah.

♪ ♪

You know, this broad
was telling the truth.

She's not Dominique.
What?

Hey!

I believed her all along.

This could turn out even better
than we thought.

[DOOR CREAKING]

Hey, Dominique, come back!

Hey! Dominique, come back here!

Hey, kid!

Kid?

Listen, I really hate
to do this to you...

Hey. Hey, wait. Lady.

You're not gonna understand...
Wait.

Hey, wait. Lady.
This is an emergency.

You know what I mean?
Lady, hey!

Hey, lady! You got no brakes!

[ENGINE STARTS]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

JENNIFER:
Ooh!

Oh!

I hope I know what I'm doing!

[TIRES SCREECH]

Excuse me!
[HONKING]

[HONKING]

Ooh!

Whoa. Oh!

[EXHALES]

Oh.

They say the legs are
the first thing to go.

Oh, hey! Hey, hey!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Oh, great! Oh!

Oh, thanks for stopping.

I need to get to a telephone.

You know,
you finally convinced me.

We're gonna make
a bigger killing out of this

than we thought,
Mrs. Jennifer Hart.

♪ ♪

JONATHAN:
Let's run over it again, okay?

MAX:
Sure, Mr. H.

Jennifer never had
any enemies, right?

Everybody's crazy about her.

She never hurt anybody,

or harmed anyone that I know of.

She even had me throw out
that fly swatter.

It's got to be money.

It's got to be kidnapping.

But why haven't they called?

It don't figure.

Unless, Max...

Unless what, Mr. H?

Unless they think
that she could be someone else.

Well, who can that be?

Big Bucks.

Yep, that's what
they're gonna ask for.

No, I don't mean that.

You remember when I told ya
I was in the park,

and I saw this woman
in a limousine?

The lady who looked
a little like Mrs. H?

She looked a lot like Mrs. H.
That's gotta be it. That's it.

You still got that friend
of yours

down at the Motor Vehicle
Bureau?

Yeah, the one who's seen
Star Wars 47 times.

Can you get her to run a license
plate for us between shows?

Sure.

Uh, what is it, the plate?

Big Bucks.

Nothing like advertising,
I always say.

BARNEY:
My luck was due to change.

Her old man's got a lot more
money than Marty, baby,

and he doesn't even know
who we are.

We play this one right,
we don't leave a trace.

What's your number,
Jennifer Hart?

Look,

you gotta tell him.

How do I know you'll let me go?

You ain't got many choices.

You'll be safe.

I promise.

♪ ♪

Mr. Hart.

Thank you.

It's a possibility that
whoever kidnapped my wife...

could have been after yours.

Any idea who that might be?

You seem like a nice fellow,
Mr. Hart.

I'd like to help you out.

But I don't have a clue,
you know what I mean?

Martin,

perhaps Mr. Hart is alluding
to your friend.

Banana Brain.

Banana Brain?

Who's that?

That? Heh-heh.

That is no one.

He's a practical joker I know,

being cute.

Benton,

are you telling me that somebody
contacted you about this,

and you're considering it
to be a practical joke?

I ain't tellin' you nothing.

I mean, I don't know.

It's not a joke.

And I'm not laughing.

Look, Hart, you're disturbing
my concentration here.

Nelson.

Nelson.

When you stop laughing...

I'll be expecting
your phone call.

♪ ♪

MAX:
Take it easy, Mr. H.

I'm right, Max.

I know I'm right,

but I just can't get
a rise out of them.

[RINGING]

Hello?

BARNEY:
You want to see
your wife again,

you better listen.

Is Jennifer all right?

She won't be unless I have
half a million in my hands

by this time tomorrow.

Well, that won't be easy.

That takes time, you know.

From what I hear,

half a million is no sweat
for you, Mr. Hart.

You got 24 hours.

After that, all the money
in the world won't save her.

Let me speak
to Jennifer, please.

They got her, Mr. H.

Whatever we gonna do?

We'll give them the money.

Then we'll get Jennifer back.

Then I'll deal with them.

[PHONE RINGS]

Yeah?

Sure. Come on up.

Dominique?

Yeah.

She announced herself
at the gate.

I really do appreciate
your coming, Mrs. Benton.

I'm pretty desperate.

Oh, I'm sure I'll find
some way for you to repay me.

Is there something wrong?

It's amazing.

It's incredible,
the resemblance.

[CHUCKLES]

Sit down, please.

Thank you.

Can you tell me anything
about this call

from Banana Brain?

Well, he couldn't have been
a friend of Martin's.

Martin had a little case
of the frights

after it was over.

They had Jennifer, my wife?

Evidently.

Mr. Hart,

I think that supposition
of yours

about them taking her
instead of me is true.

That's why I agreed
to come here when you called.

Do you have any idea

why someone
would wanna kidnap you?

It must have something
to do with money.

But I really don't know.

You see, Martin never
discusses business with me.

If they did get the money...

would they kill her?

I did hear Martin say
that he didn't think...

she stood a chance
with those people.

And he oughta know.

He used to be one
of those people.

So you'd probably have
a better chance than anyone.

Oh, now, Mr. Hart.

I agreed to help you.

I did not agree
to change places with your wife.

That isn't what I had in mind.

If we could convince them

that they still have you

and they're still dealing
with Benton,

that you're their hostage,

then maybe my idea might work.

My, my.

You do like to play
with fire, don't you?

MAX:
This plan is as full of holes
as a Nantucket fishnet.

Number one,
how do we get in touch

with the guys who got Mrs. H?

What's the matter, Max?

Don't you believe everything
you read in the paper?

Hello, Althea Prinz, please.

This is Jonathan Hart.

ALTHEA:
Mr. Hart!

This is unexpected.

Yes, well, uh, I've been
thinking about what you said.

About my being so elusive?

And, uh, I want you to know
that I agree with you.

Absolutely.

And I thought
we could get together

and discuss it
at dinner tonight.

Tonight?

Let me check my calendar.

Oh, I've found I've had
a cancellation after all,

so it would be a pleasure.

Yes. I thought we could, uh,

go to L'Restaurant.

About 8:15 or 8:30?

Would that be convenient?

Eight-thirty?

Perfect.

Terrific.

Jennifer and I
will enjoy seeing you.

Jennifer? But...

♪ ♪

JONATHAN:
In here.

I think it's best if you wore
something of Jennifer's.

Those society editors
know everything she wore.

Take anything you like.

Lovely.

Which do you prefer?

Well, Jennifer looked great
in everything.

But, uh...

I am rather partial to that one.

Hmm.

The prince always
preferred me in black.

The prince?
Yes.

My third husband.

He died before
I could divorce him.

I looked sensational
at the funeral.

The prince would have
loved the outfit.

What about Mr. Benton?

Martin? Oh, he has
horrible taste.

No, no. I mean, uh...

what do you think
that Mr. Benton

will think about, uh,
your helping me out?

He can be handled.

It's really fairly simple.

If he gets mad enough,
he'll do anything.

How do we get him mad enough?

Oh, that's easy.

I just stay here tonight.

[PIANO PLAYING]

Good evening,
Ms. Prinz.

How are you?

Very well, thank you.

Please, call me Althea.

Everyone does.

Unless they're calling me
something else at the time.

You've, uh, met
my wife, Jennifer?

Fleetingly.

I'll call you Althea

until something else
occurs to me.

I thought it would be
a real good idea

if we all got together

and rectified a few
of the rumors.

I suppose you are going to want
a front page retraction

on my story on Jennifer's
mysterious disappearance.

That is exactly what I want.

My total credibility
as a journalist

will be shattered.

Well, I'm sure you'll be able
to sweep the pieces

under a rug.

Yes, a very small rug.

How are you, Mr. Hart?

Oh, good evening, Paul,
how are you?

Very well, thank you.

I think we'll have
the champagne tonight.

A '69. That'd be
a perfect year.

Very good.

DOMINIQUE:
Darling,

why don't you come over
a little closer?

If you don't start
acting friendlier,

Althea will think our marriage
is a little shaky.

There, isn't that better?

You see, Althea,

I love this dear man so much.

You can quote me if you like.

Now, Jennifer,

you two weren't having a trial
separation or anything?

Oh, no, no.
Nothing like that.

That would be ridiculous.

Jennifer is the most...

wonderful woman in the world.

My life.

My wife.

Ah.

And?

And, um...

well, you're very special
and a perfect person.

And?

And I love you very much.

And?

Well, what more can I say?

Don't say.

Do.

I've just had
the most wonderful idea.

Why don't we get married
all over again?

Get married all over again?

Mm-hm.

Why?

Because this time,
I'd like to wear black.

I love it.

Yes, I thought you might.

All you Prinzes are alike.

[CHUCKLES]

[DOOR CLOSES]

We going somewhere?

BARNEY:
Early in the morning,

I call her old man,

we pick up the bread, we split.

Um...

Wh-what about her?

We finish with her,

she's finished.

♪ ♪

BARNEY:
"Earlier, Mrs. Hart
had been erroneously named

"as a kidnap victim.

"But this reporter
had the pleasure last night

"of dining
with that divine woman

"and her handsome
and distinguished husband

and the Harts looked
as much in love as ever."

I don't like being played
for a fool, Mrs. Martin Benton.

MICK:
Benton will still pay
a bundle for her.

Come on.
Now, lady,

you're gonna get
on the phone to Benton,

and you're gonna make it good,

or you're as good as dead.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'll get it, Mr. H.

Thanks.

Well, good morning.
Sleep well?

Very, thank you.

Your guest house
is very comfortable.

Next time I have
a fight with Martin,

I'll know where to come.

You know, looking at you,
it's really amazing.

It seems like yesterday
never happened.

Sort of like last night.

Speaking of Martin,

you can tell him all about it.

Right about now.

Be on the phone
down there, will you?

All right, where is she?

I know she's here.

Relax, Benton.

Don't try to smooth me, Hart.

I could tell she had her antenna
up for you right away.

Easy, Martin.

Come on in and sit down.

We can talk this thing over.

I oughta let you have one,
you know that?

Sit down. Sit down.

All right, somebody tell me
what's goin' on here.

Look, they've already got

my wife.

Now, I'm gonna pay the ransom.

But I'm worried about

is what they might do
to her afterwards.

So what I'm thinking is,

if we could convince them
that it's your wife,

they won't mess with you, eh?

They won't mess
with Marty Benkovich.

I eat 'em up
and spit those guys out.

Exactly.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Martin.

The old neighborhood's showing.

She's right, Martin.

It is your neighborhood.

And you...

You make the rules.

Hm.

Yes, I do make the rules.
Yeah.

Excuse me, sir.

You have a call.

Yeah?

Hey, Marty, it's your old buddy.

You, uh, misplace
anything lately?

What timing.

It's Banana Brain.

I thought you might
have noticed.

Listen, big shot,

that cute little trick
you pulled trying to sucker me

into thinkin' I had
that Hart broad,

that's gonna cost you
an extra hundred.

So I'm gonna be lookin'
at 600,000.

Hey, clown, go chase yourself.

That little try at blackmail
just cost you the 100 grand.

Take it or leave it.

One hour.

T & L Wrecking, Grand and 23rd.

Deal's made.
One hour.

T & L Wrecking, Grand and 23rd.

I saved you a little somethin'.

I'd have been willing
to pay anything.

Don't be silly.
Once you cave in, they got you.

You never see that lady again.

You got a great head
for figures, Mr. Benton.

Got a spot for me?

♪ ♪

JONATHAN:
I'll get out here.

Watch and see that
everything goes smoothly.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Okay, Mr. Benkovich.

Come halfway toward me,
drop the bag,

then get going.

What about my wife?

I'm runnin' this show.

You'll get yours
when I'm good and ready.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Go get it.

It's all here.

Bring it in.

♪ ♪

Hey, Banana Brain.

[GUNSHOT]

It's all over, big brother.

The hell it is.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Hey! What's going on?

Put me down!
Get me down from here!

Throw out your gun
and the money!

Jonathan!

Jonathan!

JONATHAN:
Are you all right?

Uh-huh.

MARTY:
Tsk, tsk, tsk.

You all right?

Mm-hm.

Be careful,
you're gonna get dirty.

You know what I mean?

Oh, Marty.

♪ ♪

Well, I guess one good turn
deserves another, huh?

I certainly have enjoyed
meeting your husband.

And you.

[MOUTHS]
Oh.

It's really amazing.

Mm.

I don't believe
what I'm looking at.

You?

You're looking
at 20 years to life.

That's what you're lookin' at.

JENNIFER:
I guess everybody

was really amazed
how much we looked alike.

Well, there is
an incredible resemblance.

I can tell you that.

Now, tell... Now...

tell me the truth.

Didn't you ever once

think that maybe it was me?

Well, uh...

there was one point.

When you kissed her?

Well, I had to kiss her

because I had to make it
look good in front of Althea.

Did she, uh?

Kiss like me?

To tell you the truth, darling,
I honestly don't remember, my...

My lips were next to hers,

but my heart was
always with you.

Aw.

What a lovely thing to say.

Thanks.

You're absolutely sure

she didn't kiss
anything like me.

Honestly, darling, I...

I really don't remember.

Try.

Mm-hm.

Yeah.
What?

There is a similarity.
Really?

Let me try once more.

Mm.

It's the physiognomy.

Jonathan, this sounds like
we're in a biology class.

And there's only one way
to get out of that.

How?

Jonathan.

Advanced studies.

♪ ♪