All language subtitles for Cheaper.by.the.Dozen.1950.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

This is Providence--

Providence, Rhode Island,
where we lived
in the year 1921.

I was 16 then and a sophomore
in high school.

But enough about me,
for this is not my story

but the story of our family
and, first and foremost,

the story of my father
and my mother.

Dad-- Frank Bunker Gilbreth--
was an industrial engineer

and a leader in the field
of scientific management.

If that sounds complicated,
just say that he was
an efficiency expert--

a man who'd shown industry
how to save time.

He was a man
of definite character,

and once his course was set,
nothing could swerve him.

Road hog!

Whenever he came home
from a business trip,

even if he'd been away
only for a day,

he brought with him an element
of surprise and suspense.

For there's no doubt about it.

Dad was a rugged
individualist--
*

brilliant but--
well, let's face it--

a trifle eccentric,

living by a code
of his own design.

It's Daddy! It's Daddy!

Hello, live bait.

Hello, Dad.
Glad you're home.
Glad to be home, Anne.

Hi, Dad. I was
over on the lot.
Hmm. So I see.

Eighteen seconds. Not bad,
not bad. But I still say
we should make it in less.

We gotta
keep trying.
Hello, Frank.

Hello, dear.
How was your trip?

Couldn't have
been better.
I'm glad, dear.

Hi, there, funny face.
Have any trouble with
the offspring this time?

No more than usual.
How about this one?

- Oh, she's been good as gold.
- Hey, Dad,

what did you bring us?

Quiet, quiet.
You'll find out later.

Fall in. Fall in.
Come on, there, small fry.

Mm-hmm.

Good boy, Jackie.

Dan.

You, there.
What's your name--
Sitting Bull?

Aw, you haven't forgotten me,
Daddy. I'm Fred.

Fred? Fred what?
Fred Sittin' Bull.

How!
How!

All right, let's see your nails.

Mm-hmm. Hmm, you could stand
a little soap and water
on those hands, young man.

Aw, heck, Dad.

What's the good
of always washing 'em?

They only get dirty again.

That's a risk we have to take.

- Lillian, I thought I told you
not to bite your nails.
- I didn't bite 'em, Daddy.

- They broke off on the piano.
- Then maybe you'd better
go back to the violin.

Oh-oh.
How many home runs today?
Two.

Slipping, huh?

All right, Martha.
Still dieting?

Kinda.

Very nice, Mary.
Ernestine.

Mm-hmm.

What's that
on your face? Paint?

No, it isn't.
And besides, Dad,

they don't call it paint
anymore. It's makeup.

I don't care what they call it.

And don't think you can
fool me, either.

I know paint when I see it.

Here. Spit on this.

Hm. Well, I see it isn't paint,
and I apologize.

But it might have been.
As I've told you,

I won't have any painted
women in this house.

If you start any of that
nonsense, you'll find yourself--
In a convent.

Yes, Daddy, I know--
the one with the 12-foot
wall, near Albany.

Don't be impertinent.

Now, you'll find the chocolate
bars there in my briefcase.
Fall out. Fall out.

Well, Lillie,
it's all settled.
Is it, dear?

Yes, ma'am-- signed, sealed
and ready for delivery.
Good.

What is?
What is?
What's ready for delivery, Dad?

Shall I?
They'll have to know
sooner or later.

All right.
Hey, small fry,

how would you kids
like to live
in Montclair, New Jersey?

Montclair?
You mean leave
Providence?

I don't know how else
you'd do it.
Oh, but why? Why?

Well, because it'd be
nearer my work.
But, gee, Dad.

I'm shortstop
on our team.
And I'm pitcher.

There's plenty of time
before school starts.

You can form
a new team in Montclair.

But we don't wanna
form a new team.

We wanna be on the one we're on.

Who wants to live in Montclair?

You promised when we moved here
we could stay.

Just when we were
makin' friends too.
It's all right now, lady.

I got them marbles and
the comb out, and I think
most of the bird's nest.

Anyway, it works
just as good as ever.
I'll send you a check.

That's all right.
Will you just sign here?
Aw, Dad, please--

Be quiet, all of you!

Stop this infernal howling.
But, Dad--

- Stop it!
- All these kids yours, mister?
Or is this a picnic?

They're all mine,
and believe me, it's no picnic.

Aw, look--
Silence!

After a few days
of organized confusion,

we were packed
and ready to depart.

And I might add that
Ringling Brothers' Circus
had nothing on us.

- Hurry up there, Frank.
- Get off my feet!

Be sure everything's
out of the house
before you leave, Jim.

Don't you worry, Mrs. Gilbreth.
We'll take care of everything.

Have a nice trip.
We'll see you
Friday morning.

Yes, we'll meet the train.

Hey, Bill.
Come on, there.
Hurry up.

Come on. Foolish Carriage
is getting restless.
I'm comin', Dad.

Come on, Bill.
Make it snappy.

Mercy Maud!
Scared you,
didn't I, son?

Mercy Maud!
I'll bet you jumped
six and 9/10ths inches.

Gee, Dad.
It's all right, dear.

Teach you to keep your eyes open
crossing streets, young man.

Well, is everybody in?
Anne, Ernestine,
Martha, Mary, Frank--

All present and
accounted for, Dad.
Okay.

If you're all reasonably
sanitary, let's go.

Bye, Jim!
Bye, Mrs. Monahan!

Good-bye! Good-bye!
Good-bye, Rhode Island.
New Jersey, here we come.

Hey, Noah,
what are you doin'
with that ark?

Collecting animals
like the good lord
told me, brother.

All I need now
is a jackass. Hop in!

We turn to the left here,
don't we, dear?
I'm going to turn.

It's okay, Dad.
I think you can make it.

- I know I can make it.
- Hold out your hand.

Hi, brother.
Hi, brother.

Hi!

Eh, that fan belt again.
You have to get out, Bill.

Excuse me, Lillie.
It's not going
to blow up, is it?

Of course not.
Won't take a minute to fix it.

Incidentally, now's a good time,
while we're stopped,

if any of you want
to go see Mrs. Murphy.

Well, how about it?
Not me, Dad.

All right.
But remember, all of you,
this is your last chance.

Can't understand why a good car
like this should keep acting up.

If it's not one thing,
it's another. Last week
it was the carburetor.

Who did that?

Uh, that was a good joke
on you, Dad.

Listen, young man,

there's a time and a place
for jokes,

and a time
and a place for spankings.

And the sooner you learn--
Get out. Get out.

Mercy Maud, Frank. I'll bet
you jumped six and 9/10ths
inches that time.

Ha, you're right, son.
Ha, ha, ha.

That was a good joke on me.

By jingo, I'll bet I did jump
six and 9/10ths inches.

Oh, these kids.
These kids.

Oh, excuse me, dear.
I did that. It was accidental.

* You made life cheery
when you called me deary *

* 'Twas down where
the bluegrass grows *

* Your lips were sweeter
than julep *

* When you wore a tulip

- * And I wore
a big, red rose *
- * Bom, bom

Ah, Lillie, what do you suppose
piddling little families

with only five or six children
do with themselves?
I can't imagine.

But I do know one thing. We'll
look back on moments like these
as the happiest in our lives.

- You children hear that?
- Yes, sir.

All right.
Don't forget it.

* Memories, memories * Memories

Dad.
Hey, Dad.
* Tra-la-la, la-da

Yes, son?
I gotta go
see Mrs. Murphy.

I asked you not 15 minutes ago,
and you said that you--
Yes, I know,

but, gee, I can't help it, Dad.

Me too,
Dad.
I do too, Dad.

By jingo,
I gave you your last chance.
I'm not stopping again.

But, Dad--
Nothing doing.
You had every opportunity.

Frank, I think
you'd better stop.

All right.
Out you go.

And hurry up.
We haven't got all day!

Make it snappy.

All right.
You can open your eyes now.

Well, what do you think of it?

Oh, Frank,
it's beautiful.
It's wonderful, Dad.

I'm glad you like it.
Wait till you see the inside.
Come on. Let's get out.

Come on there, Frank.
Help your mother.
That's a good fella.

You must admit it's
a mighty fine piece of property.
It's lovely.

I knew it was the right place
the minute I laid eyes on it.

I didn't say much
or try to describe it.

I didn't want you
to be disappointed.

Oh, no, Daddy.
We love it.
Howdy. You folks moving in here?

That's right.
Gilbreth's the name.
You certainly got a nice place.

I'll say that
for you.
Thank you. We think so.

All those
kids yours?
Oh, these aren't so many.

You ought to see the ones
we left behind.

How you ever feed 'em?
Ah, they come cheaper
by the dozen, you know.

Come on, kids.

It was a wonderful house,
and we loved living in it,

but we soon found out that,
while it was often too small
for 12 children,

it was more often too large
for two servants.

As usual, Mother and Dad met
their problem in the typical
Gilbreth manner-- head on!

The family council
will please come to order.

Now, obviously, this house
is too big for Mrs. Monahan
and Jim Bracken

to take care of without help.

Therefore,
your mother and I have called
this meeting to discuss

you children taking over
part of the work in the house
and in the yard.

Assignments will be made
on the basis of personal
choice and aptitude.

Now, does the chair hear
any suggestions?

Come, come, members of the
council, this is a democracy.
Everybody has an equal voice.

How do you want
to divide the work?

In a democracy,
everybody speaks.
So, by jingo, start speaking.

Bill, I recognize you.
What do you think?

I think Mrs. Monahan
and Jim Bracken

ought to do the work.
They get paid for it.

Sit down.
You're no longer recognized.
But in a democracy--

Hush, Bill.
It's almost impossible
to get good servants

these days with so many
children in the family.

Mr. Chairman?
Yes, son?

I think you're right.
Jim and Mrs. Monahan
do have too much to do.

- I move we hire more people to work for us.
- - Second the motion!

Me too.
Out of order. Sit down
and be quiet, all of you.

I, uh-- Uh,

The chair recognizes
the assistant chairman.

Well, of course,
we could hire additional help,
and that might be the answer.

But that would mean cutting
the budget somewhere else.

Perhaps if we cut out
all desserts

and allowances,
we might be able
to afford a maid.

And then if we cut out
movies, ice cream sodas,
and new clothes for a year,

we might even be able to afford
a helper for Jim too.

Uh-huh. Do I hear a motion
to that effect?

How about it, Bill?
You want to stop allowances?

Frank? Anne?

Oh, well.

I move we allot the work.

Splendid, splendid.
Do I hear a second?
Second the motion.

- All those in favor signify.
- Aye.

Motion carried. Now,
is there any further business?

I move we adjourn.

Not so fast, young lady.

There's still that little matter
of specific assignments.

For instance, the back fence,
which is badly in need
of whitewashing.

Do I hear any bids?
Huh? Speak up.

If you want to earn
a little extra spending
money, here's your chance.

- Yes, Bill?
- I'll bid $10.

You must think this is
a government project.
Do I hear any reasonable bids?

I-- I bid 47 cents.

- Forty-seven cents?
- Please, Daddy.
Let me do it.

Tell me, how do you happen
to hit on 47 cents?
I've been saving to buy

a pair of roller skates,
and that's how much
more I need.

But you're gonna get skates
for your birthday.
Frank.

Oh, I'm sorry, Lillie.
I wasn't supposed
to let that out of the bag.

Oh, Daddy, that's wonderful.
Thank you, thank you.

Besides, that's
too big a job for
a little girl like you.

Hmm-hmm.

Frank, here's your chance.
What do you bid...
within reason?

Oh, well. 2.50, I guess.

Good. You got yourself
a contract.

Now, is there
any more new business?

I think this family
ought to buy a dog.

Out of order.
Meeting adjourned.

Well, here we are.
I know you're all
eager to get started

on a new school year,
so out you go.

Hurry up. Hurry up.
But, Dad,
not all of us?

Certainly all of you.
You want us to make
an impression, don't you?

But this isn't our school--
Ernestine's and mine.

We're gonna go
to high school.
We'll take care of that later.

I wanna show these people first
what a real family looks like.
But it's so embarrassing.

A person with inner dignity
is never embarrassed.

Besides, visits like this get
results. Teachers lap it up.

I only wish I had time
to send home for your
mother and the babies.

And I will, too, unless you two
get a move-on. Come on.
Honestly, Dad.

You have more gall--
Somebody in this family
has to show a little spunk.

Come on, son.
It's so silly.

Ern! Ern!
There he is.

He's the one
I told you about--

the captain of
the swimming team.
His name is Tom Black.

Oh, he's adorable.
I'll say.

What are you two hanging
back there for? Come along!

Shh! Daddy, please.
Why--

Why, somebody
might hear you.
Suppose they do?

They're gonna hear from me
soon enough anyhow.

No dying-cow looks, now.
Hold your heads up
and look alive. Let's go.

Take your hats off.

Gangway.

Refer these to Miss Jensen.
Give these to Miss Sweeney.

Come in.

Good morning, madam.
Just a Gilbreth invasion,

or perhaps I should say
a partial invasion,

since I left most of them
at home with their mother.

I hope we're not intruding.

Oh, not at all.

I'm delighted
to see you, Mr. Gilbreth.

We've heard so much about you.
I understand you have--

Eleven children, ma'am,
but unfortunately,

only five will be under
your excellent supervision:

Mary, Martha, Lillian,
Bill and Frank Jr.

How do you do, sir?
I just brought my two older
girls, Anne and Ernestine,

along so you could get a better
idea of the crop we're raising.

Well, I'm so glad you
dropped in, Mr. Gilbreth.

I'm sure we're all going to get
along beautifully together.

It's such a pleasure--

Uh, just a minute.
I'm not just dropping in.

I want to meet their teachers
and see what grades
they're going into.

Oh, well, I'm afraid all our
teachers are busy at the moment.
You see, it's opening day--

Oh, that's all right.
I'm in no hurry.

In fact, I've arranged
my schedule so as to give
you my entire morning.

You have?
Meanwhile,
as to their grades,

I see no reason why children
who are well-developed
mentally should be held back

by a school system
geared to those of simply
normal intelligence.

No. Of course not. But so
much depends on their ages.
Now, if you'll just--

You mean mental ages, of course.

Bill, how old
are you, son?
Eight.

What grade does
an eight-year-old
usually belong in?

The third.
Then I think he'd better
go in the fifth.

Oh-ho, but that's impossible,
Mr. Gilbreth. Perhaps later on,
if he takes tests--

By all means. I hope they'll
all take a lot of tests.
It's good for them.

Meanwhile to, uh, to illustrate
my point-- Frank,

what's 46 times 83?

Three thousand,
eight hundred
and eighteen.

Lillian, 19 times 91.

One thousand, seven hundred
and twenty-nine.

Bill, 52 times 52.

Two thousand,
seven hundred
and four.

Now, would you care to suggest
a few large numbers?

Well, I... think I'll take your
word for it, Mr. Gilbreth,

and I'll see what I can do.

It would really expedite matters

if you'd have the teacher
of the fifth grade

step in here for a moment.

Also, while we're about it,

the teachers of the third,
fourth, sixth and seventh.

Ask Miss Billsop, Miss Jensen,
Miss Moore, Mrs. Hallbright,

and Miss Sweeney
to step in here for a moment.

Yes, ma'am.
Thank you, madam.
And now, while we're waiting,

perhaps it might interest you
to hear something of
the home training program

their mother and I have
worked out for the children:

spelling games,
geography quizzes,
language study--

We're learning French
and German from a Victrola.

Dad's even taught us
how to take a whole bath

in the time it takes
to play just one record.

- Really?
- - A simple matter of coordination, madam.

Like any other physical effort,
scientific bathing is--

- Yes, but how do you do it?
- Well, this seems hardly
the time and place.

I doubt if you'd be interested.

Oh, but I am. It sounds
perfectly fascinating.

Yeah. Go on.
Show her, Dad.
Yeah. Show her.

Here.
Well, if you insist, son.
This is really very simple.

First, you take the soap
in your right hand,
apply it to the left shoulder,

run it down the top
of the left arm, up the inside
of the left arm to the armpit,

then the ears-- both of them,
of course-- not forgetting
the back of the neck,

then down the outside
of the left leg, back up
the inside of the left leg,

then down the right leg, and up.

Then at the hip,
change the soap
to the left hand

and do the same thing
on the right arm and shoulder.

After a couple
of circular motions
on the midsection and back--

and some special attention
to the feet--

slide under for a rinse,
and you rise bathed.

Oh, come in, ladies.
Mr. Gilbreth is just showing
me how to take a bath.

- A what?
- Good morning, ladies.

Good morning.

In our family,
sickness was taboo.

Dr. Burton's car
in front of our house
could mean only one thing.

Dad!
Yes?

Where's the baby?
Where is it?

In her room taking her nap,
of course. Why?

- We mean the latest model.
- Is it a boy or a girl?

Is what a boy or a girl?

Aw, come on, Daddy.
You can't fool us.

What are we gonna name this one?

Lillie, what's got into
these children? What are
they talking about?

I can't imagine, dear.
We wanna see
the new baby.

Whatever gave you the idea
there was a new baby?

That's Dr. Burton's
automobile outside, isn't it?
Yes.

And you were sick
last night, weren't ya?
I had a slight headache.

And every time you're sick
there's always a baby,
isn't there?

Oh, my goodness. Babies don't
come just because you're sick.
I thought you knew that.

They've always come before
when you were sick.

Oh, dear.

It's up to you, Lillie.
You're the psychologist.

I have some very
important work to do.
I'll be in my study.

You understand, don't you?

Yes, I certainly do.

Well, first,
about Dr. Burton.

He's here because he's afraid
Jack has a whooping cough,

which means you children

will have to stay away from him.

As to babies, well,

I think it's about time
we had a little talk.

Oh, no, Bill.
Don't tell me you're
getting it too?

- Who's that coughing?
- Me, Dad.

Well, stop it.

I'm not gonna have
an epidemic in this house.

We haven't time
for any such nonsense.

You children have been
given good health,

and by jingo,
it's your job to keep it.

I don't want any excuses.
You hear me?
Yes, sir.

All right.
I think I better get him
up to the doctor.

Yes, Lillie.

Where did that
whatever-it-is
come from?

He's a beaut,
isn't he, Dad?
A beaut?

Look here,
you mangy mongrel--

Go on. Get out.
Don't argue. Out! Out!

Martha, keep that cover on.

Remember what the doctor said.

He wants you
to keep warm.
Yes, Mother.

Here, darling. Put this jacket
around your shoulders.

Oh, thank you, Mother.

I'm going down to the kitchen
now to get your dessert,

and I'll read to you,
if you like.

- Oh, hello, Dad.
- May I come in?

Of course, dear.
I won't disturb anything.

It's all right.
The children
have missed you.

Oh, Frank. Not you too?
Yes, yes. Looks like
I belong up here too, Lillie.

Oh, dear.

Daddy's got the whooping cough.

Daddy's got the whooping cough.
You children get
back in bed. Go on.

Dr. Burton--
Yes?

Will you come in here
a minute, please?
Right away.

Frank, sit down, dear.

Do you ache anywhere?
I'll be
all right, Lillie.

In heaven's name,
what's the trouble now?
It's Mr. Gilbreth.

He's coughing too.

Oh, me. How did I ever
get mixed up with
this family anyhow?

Let me hear you cough.

There's nothin'
the matter with me.

I was only joking.
You were what?

Well, it just wasn't any fun
downstairs by myself, Lillie.

I wanted to be up here
with the rest of the family.
Very funny. Very funny.

Frank Gilbreth, I give up.
Sometimes I think you're
more trouble than the children.

I'm sorry, Lillie.
But all that quiet
down there makes me nervous.

Oh, really.

Tell me, Doc, how are
my Mongolians coming along?

They'll live.
In spite of you,
you old veterinarian.

Well, I'll say one thing
for you, Gilbreth. Your children
don't get sick very often,

but when they do,
they certainly mess up

the public health statistics
of the state of New Jersey.

How's that, Mr. Bones?
Ordinarily, I only
have a couple of cases

of whooping cough
or measles a week,

but when I have to report
11 cases in a single day,
they're liable

to quarantine the whole town
of Montclair

and close every school
in Essex county.

Well, at least these
are only light cases.

Pioneer stock, you know.

As far as
New Jersey's concerned,
whooping cough's whooping cough.

By the way, these kids
have got tonsils--
really ugly ones.

As soon as they're over this,
they ought to come out.
I've never had mine out.

Maybe you should. Let's look.
No, you don't. There's nothing
the matter with them.

Oh, stop wasting my time
and sit down.
What's the point of all this?

Open your mouth.
Open your mouth.

Say "ah."
Ah-h-h-h.

Just as I thought.
Yours should have
been out years ago.

You're crazy. I've never
been sick a day in my life.
Let them stay in if you want to.

You're not hurting
anyone but yourself.

But these children's tonsils
have got to come out,

all but one-- Martha's.

Hers are as sound
as a dollar.
Hooray for me.

Well, good night, girls.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Good night, Doctor.

Say, Doc, I was just thinking.

If we have to have their
tonsils out, could we
do it here in the house?

Why here? What's the matter
with a hospital?
Well, it struck me,

if we could rig up
an operating room downstairs,

I could
photograph the operations

and study what you doctors
are doing wrong.

Then I'd be able to show you
how you could eliminate

a lot of waste motions
and speed things up.

Now, wait a minute.

That system of yours may be
all right in factories--

And in medicine too.

Ho-ho, I've been looking
for a chance like this.

Now, not so fast.
Nobody's going to--
Oh, you're leaving, Doctor?

Lillie, we're gonna have
the children's tonsils out.
Oh, Frank, do we have to?

That's what this fella here
says. But it's all right.
I'm gonna take movies.

Of the operations?
Certainly,
of the operations.

Why, there's no telling
how many lives this sort
of study will help save.

But doesn't it seem
rather heartless, using
the children as guinea pigs?

Not at all. They'll
be asleep and won't
know what's going on.

Besides, if it'll make you
feel any better,

I'll let this old butcher
here yank mine out too.

Yours?
Well, why didn't you say so?
Now we're getting somewhere.

Oh, Frank--
No, don't stop him. Let him
go ahead and cut his own throat.

That's one part
of the festivities
I might even enjoy.

Will you stop drooling?

By jingo, this may
make you famous,
you ol' quack.

All right, May,
you can ease up
a little now.

All right.
Start-- Start cranking.

Can you see it all?
Is the clock in?

Yeah, it's in.

Everything's in.

Mr. Gilbreth,
my stomach's
beginning to--

I'm not interested
in your internal organs.
Just keep cranking.

Dad had said, "Think
of all the fun we'll have

looking at the movies
and seeing ourselves asleep."

But I'm afraid,
to those waiting, it was not
a very consoling thought.

As much as they loved movies,

I have a feeling
that that's one epic

they'd have been
delighted to pass up.

I hear you poor kids couldn't
have any breakfast this morning.

Aw, everybody knows
you can't eat before
you get operated on.

I had doughnuts for breakfast
with sugar-- mmm, delicious--

and a big piece
of apple pie that was
left over from last night.

You beast.
You get out of here.

Mrs. Monahan
was just as sweet
as she could be.

"Why don't you have
another one, Martha?"

"Thanks, Mrs. Monahan,
I believe I will."

"Why don't you take
two to three, dear?
They're so tasty."

"I really shouldn't,
Mrs. Monahan.

"but maybe while
those poor kids
are waiting tonight,

I'll dedicate one
to each of them."

Mother, will you make
Martha stop talking

about what a delicious
breakfast she had?

All she's done
since she's been
in here is gloat.

Not another word about food,
Martha. Do you understand?
I'm sorry, Mother.

I won't even mention doughnuts
and apple pie again.

Martha!
Nothing to it. Anne slept
through it just like a baby.

And I know we got
some great movies. Come on,
Ernestine, girl. You're next.

Don't be afraid, dear.
It'll be over in a few minutes.

I'm not afraid, Mother, much.

A Gilbreth, afraid?
Don't be ridiculous.

After all,
she's her father's daughter.

What in the world
is there to be afraid of?

Never heard such nonsense.

This'll all be over in a jiffy.

Go on, dear.
Go ahead, dear.

That's a good girl.
I'll go up
with Anne.

Everything's under control.

Let's take off the robe and hop
right up here on the table.

Is it going to hurt?
At your age,
you won't even feel it.

That's what I told her, Doctor.

All right, May.

Just relax, dear. I'll be
right here with you.

How about changing the lens
for this one?

I want to see
exactly how his caddy
hands him those knives.

But ain't it kinda hot in here?

Couldn't we open a window
or somethin'?

Do you want this child
to get pneumonia?
But this ether--

Never mind the ether.
Just take care of that camera.
Ready, Doctor.

Good heavens, man, I told you
I didn't want Martha.

You haven't got Martha.
That's Ernestine.
You sure?

Of course I'm sure,
you jackass.
You must be mistaken.

Here. Look carefully.
There now. Isn't that Martha?

Don't you suppose I know
my own children? I tell you,
that's Ernestine.

Well, if this isn't Martha,
we've made a horrible mistake.
We? What do you mean, we?

What kind of a mistake?
I know them by their tonsils.
I thought these were Martha's.

They're the only ones
that didn't have to come out.

You mean you knocked my little
girl unconscious for no reason?

I'm sorry, but that's about it.
I'll admit it was careless,

but you do have
an uncommon lot of them,

and they all
look alike to me.
But what do we do now?

Take them out anyhow.
They may have to come out
eventually.

The worst part of an operation
is dreading it beforehand.

Go get Martha ready.
But she's been eating
all morning.

Never mind. Go get her.
I'm not going through
another day like this.

Start grinding. At least
we'll salvage something.

Poor Martha.

It was a blow, but in she went,

full of pie, doughnuts,
and indignation.

Frank.

What is all this about Martha?
This fool Burton, he got her
mixed up with Ernestine.

It's all his fault.
I don't care whose fault it is.
I think it's a shame--

after letting that
poor child eat all those
doughnuts for breakfast

only to be snatched up
and brought in
to be butchered.

Now, there's nothing to worry
about, Lillie.

It's no worse
than a mosquito bite.

Besides, it's almost over.

You better wait
in the other room. Go on, dear.

There we are.

Keep grinding.

Frank, I think
this whole thing--

But you're making a mountain
out of a molehill.

All it takes is
the tiniest little cut
at the back of the throat.

Just to show you
it's nothing,
I'll go next.

I thought you wanted
to watch your pictures.
Oh, I'll watch, all right.

I'm only gonna take
a local anesthetic.
Ho-ho, I won't miss a thing.

But does Dr. Burton think
a local anesthetic is wise?

That's just a lot of nonsense
about my physical condition.

These doctors don't know
what they're talking about
half the time.

I'll be in the amen corner
when they're laying him away.

Besides, I wanna get this
over with before lunch.
I'm starved.

Gee, Dad, you act like
you're lookin' forward to it.

Why, sure, son.
There's nothing to it. Huh!
Just like rollin' off a log.

All right, who's next?

I am.
Okay, make it snappy. A man
can stand just so much.

Frank, I hope you're not
making a mistake.
After all, at your age--

Age has nothing
to do with it, Lillie.

It's simply a matter
of resolution.

Let's go.

Yes, indeed.

To Dad, a tonsil operation
was nothing, just like--
how did he put it?

"Just like rolling
off a log."

Frank!
Oh, Lillie.

My throat.
This is awful.
Yes. I know, dear.

I-- I can't talk.
Nurse, I'll take him.

You're all right, old pioneer.

You just had to have it
the hard way, that's all.
Lillie, I--

I'm dying.
Now, come on,
old-timer.

I'll give you something
to make you sleep.

How am I gonna sleep
with my throat cut?

You'll be all right
in a couple of weeks.
Mr. Gilbreth! Mr. Gilbreth!

Go away. Go away.
Can't you see I'm dying?

I hate to tell you this,
but it looks

like none of them motion
pictures'll be any good.

- No good?
- Uh, I forgot to put
any film in the camera.

You what?
Please. Oh, now, please,
please don't get excited.

- Anyhow, it's too much for me.
I quit!
- Let me at him.

Frank!
Let me at him!

*

*

* Children, children.
Now, we are not doing our best.

Suppose we start over,
and this time, let's be sure
everybody's in the same key.

Oh, it's no use, Miss Ethel.

We might as well face it.
We just haven't any
musical talent.

We mustn't let our father
hear us say that.

Why? Doesn't he know yet?

He takes it for granted that
all of his children are gifted.

Well, far be it for me
to disillusion him.

Let's go.
All right, children?
Ready?

One, two, three--

*

*

*
*

Softly, now.
Softly as a little brook
tinkling through a still forest.

*
Excuse me, but do you by any
chance hear a little brook

tinkling through a still forest?

Poor Miss Ethel.
What fortitude.

* You're home early, dear.

Yes, I know. Well,
I had a letter today

from Dr. Blenheim
of Czechoslovakia.

Thought you might
like to see it.
Oh, do they want you to come?

Well, there's nothing really
definite yet, but Blenheim
thinks there's a good chance

they'll ask me to speak at
the International Management
Conference in Prague.

Oh, Frank,
I knew they would.
May I see it?

Let's not count our chickens
too soon.

This is gonna be
a pretty high-powered
meeting.

It'll attract the best
scientific minds
in the world.

That's why it's such
a wonderful opportunity
to show other countries

what motion study really is
and have your methods
accepted universally.

I admit it's what
I've always hoped for.

It might mean a great deal
financially too, Lillie.

But the important thing is
that it will establish you
as a leader in the whole field.

I'm so happy, Frank.
I knew you'd be pleased.
And why not?

After all, if it
hadn't been for
you and your help--

Will you tell
the children tonight?
You can tell them if you want,

but warn them--
not a word about it yet.

But I won't be here tonight.
You won't be here?
Where are you going?

Have you forgotten?
I have a date at the hospital.
So soon?

Yes, dear, I'm afraid so.

But I thought you were
only joking about
going to the hospital.

After all, you never
went to one before
just to have a baby.

Maybe I never thought
about it before.

Going to be awfully
lonely around here
without you, Lillie.

I'll hurry back
as quickly as I can.

By the way,
do you mind what it is?

Why, I thought we'd already
agreed it would be a boy.

After all, we have six girls.

But of course,
anything you decide
will be all right with me.

Thank you, dear.
Have you thought of a name?

Why, no, I haven't.
What do you think of Robert?

Robert? Why Robert?
Who's named Robert?

Oh, no one in particular.
It's just a nice name,
that's all.

I always knew you had
a strange collection of beaus
during your college years,

but, uh, which one was Robert?

The one with the long hair
and the violin,

or the one that lisped... like
"thith"?

When you're quite through,
we'll decide on a name.

In the meantime,
if you want to go into
the subject of old flames,

remember--
two can play at that game.

I seem to recall
a certain lady poetess--
Never mind. Never mind.

I wouldn't think of blighting
an old schoolgirl romance.

Male or female, Robert it is.

For the 12th time,

Dad's verdict
was exactly the same.

Well, I'll say this for him.
He's every inch a Gilbreth.

I'm glad you approve.
Yes. I expect we'd
better keep him too.

Well, Lillie, it's over.
Twelve of 'em.

And hardly an idiot
in the bunch.

And you were afraid you'd be
the last of the Gilbreths.

I admit, you had me worried
there for a while.

Four girls in a row.
That can be pretty
nerve-racking.

Of course, you know
I did it deliberately.

Come here, young fella.

Let's you and me get acquainted.

Be careful with him, Frank.
I don't think hospitals
approve of fathers.

Hospitals. Heh.

Young man, did I ever tell you

about the night your mother
and I were married

and we decided to have
an even dozen like you, hmm?

You set the actual target,
dear-- six boys and six girls.

I believe you even made
a memorandum of it.

That's right, son.
Sounds kind of silly
now, doesn't it?

Not half as silly
as it sounded then.

Honestly, dear, did you
really think we'd be able
to go through with it?

Why, certainly.
I always knew

that anything
you and I teamed up on,
Lillie, would be a success.

It'll seem kind of funny,
won't it? For the first time
in 17 years

we'll be able to go to bed
without setting the alarm
for a 2:00 feeding.

It's certainly gonna be
a luxury, isn't it?

A wonderful luxury--
and I'll hate it.

Well, Bob, you better
get back to your mother.

Looking after her
is gonna be one of
your jobs from now on.

And incidentally, young man,

she's a pretty wonderful woman.

Anyway, that's
one man's opinion.

That's good. Smile, now.

Smile so I can see
the whites of your teeth.

And stop fidgeting.
How can I focus this thing
if you keep on fidgeting?

Children, please be quiet.
This won't last much longer.

Anne, you're the oldest.
Help your mother
keep them quiet.

I'm afraid
that would require
an act of God.

Now, stop moving
for all our sakes
and smile.

That's right. Now, listen
to your sister. Come on, now.
Let's have a great big smile.

Come on.
Smile for Daddy.

That's better.
Are we all ready?

Jane, take your hands
down from your ears.
That's a good girl.

Now, then, here we go.
Hold it. Hold it.

Ho-o-old it!

I think that was a good one,
Lillie. Ha-ha, this new flash
certainly works fine.

Yes, it certainly does.

Now that we're all together,
whadaya say?
Yeah, it's a swell time.

You get the chair
and the gavel, and
I'll get the table.

- Okay.
- Thank you, dear.

Come, children.
It's past your bedtime.

Before you go upstairs,
Lillie, don't you think

we ought to take one more,
just to be on the safe side?

I think not, dear.
Why, after all,
we should.

It's the first time
we've had all 12 together.
No, Frank.

Seven explosions are
quite enough in one night.
Okay, Lillie. You're the boss.

Well, what's that for?
Dad, we've been
talkin' something over,

and we wondered, as long as
we're all here, if we couldn't
have a family council.

Well, that's possible.
What's on your mind, son?

We want to do it legally,
Dad, in regular meeting.
Very good.

All right, everybody.
Come on. Let's take seats.

No, Frank. I have to
get the babies to bed.
This won't take long.

After all, if the children
are interested--
I'll take them up, Mother.

I, uh-- I think
they want you down here.

All right, dear.
But what's all mystery about?
You'll find out. Come, Jane.

All right, kids,
take your places. I'll be
at your service in a moment.

Hurry up, there.
Make it snappy.
Excuse me, gentlemen.

Now, then, are we
all settled? Hmm?

Now, the, uh--
the family council
will please come to order.

Now, then, what's the problem?

Mr. Chairman?
Yes?

It's been brought to our
attention that the assistant
chairman-- Mother--

intends to buy a new rug
for the dining room.

And since the entire membership
will be required to look upon

and sit in chairs
resting on said rug,

we move that the council
be consulted before
any rug is purchased.

- Second the motion.
- Me too!

That's a point well taken.
Any discussion?

We'd like to ask
the assistant chairman
how much it's going to cost.

- $100.
- Mr. Chairman, I move that
not more than $95 be spent.

- Second the motion.
- Me too.

Well, this idea
of saving five dollars

is a very laudable one.
Let me commend you.

Now, all those in favor
of spending only $95 for a rug
signify by saying "aye."

Aye!
Carried. Now, is there
any further business?

Yes, sir, Mr. Chairman. I move

we spend the five dollars
we've just saved to buy a dog.

Second the motion.
Out of order. Out of order.

Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

You children know very well

how I feel about having
animals around here.

But, Mr. Chairman,
a dog would be a pet.
William--

Everyone in the family could pat
him and I would be his master.

A dog would be a friend,
Mr. Chairman.

He could eat
scraps of food, and--

Save motions.
What was that?

And that would
save motions for
the garbage man.

A dog would keep burglars away.

He would sleep
on the foot of my bed,

and I would wash him
whenever he was dirty.

A dog would be
an accursed nuisance,
that's what he'd be.

He'd be our master. He'd
eat us out of house and home.

He'd spread fleas from
the garret to the basement.

And he'd attach himself to me.

Ho, they always do.
And I won't have it.

But, Mr. Chairman,
I promise--
No.

No filthy, flea-bitten
creature's gonna share
my bed and board.

This whole idea
is ridiculous.
But, Mr. Chairman, I--

Lillie, don't you see
where this is leading us?

If we start throwing
our money away like this,
the next thing they'll want

is ponies, roadsters,
trips to Hawaii.

You tell 'em
it's out of the question.

I think, dear, we can
rely on the good sense
of the children.

After all, a five-dollar dog
is not a trip to Hawaii.
But, Lillie--

Question.
Vote! Vote! Vote!

No, no! This whole thing's
out of order.

If I'd known
what you were up to, I'd--

Vote! Vote! Vote!
All those in favor--

Aye!
Ayes have it!

No. No.
I still say no. No!

The ayes
have it, dear.
But, Lillie--

The meeting's adjourned.

A dog.

Mmm.

Dad was right.

There were 14 Gilbreths
in the house, but Mr.
Chairman--

for thus was he christened--
soon dispelled all doubt

as to which Gilbreth
was his favorite.

In no time at all,
they were bosom companions.

There was no end to Dad's
determination to save time.
Ready? Go.

And in these experiments,
large or small,

Mother was always
at his side--

a partner in every enterprise.

- Stop. How long was that?
- Seven seconds.

Good. Now we'll do it
the other way.

- Ready?
- Go.

That was better--
only five and a half seconds.

By jingo, I knew it. Bottom
to top, that's the answer.

Along with Dad's, Mother's
fame as a psychologist

and industrial consultant
had grown also--

to such an extent that people
came from far and wide
to solicit her help.

Mrs. Gilbreth?
Yes?

I'm Amelia Mebane.
I wonder if I could talk
with you for a moment.

I'm very busy. If--
If you could tell me--

Well, I'll only take
a moment of your time.

Well, won't you come in?

Thank you.

In here, please.
I understand you're very
civic-minded, Mrs. Gilbreth.

I believe in being
a good citizen, yes.

Won't you sit down?
Thank you.

You lecture too,
I hear.
Occasionally.

Now, just what is it
you wanted to--
Well, it's--

It's about birth control.

Birth control?

Yes. The National League
of Planned Parenthood

is organizing
a local chapter
in Montclair.

- I was told that
you'd be interested.
- I?

I met a friend of yours
on the train last night--

a next-door neighbor,
I believe.

She felt that you
were just the person
we're looking for.

She was sure
you'd be willing
to cooperate.

Well, just how
would you want me
to cooperate?

Why, by being the moving spirit
behind our Montclair chapter.

That's a pretty big job,
isn't it?

Oh, yes.
Yes, there's work to be done.

That's why I'm appealing
to you-- a civic-minded
career woman with a--

and this is most important--

with a large house
where one can hold meetings.

Well, of course,

I'll have to consult my husband.

Oh, is he interested
in good works too?

Oh, yes. I think he'll be
very interested in this.

Excuse me.
I'll call him.
Certainly.

Can you come into the
living room a moment, dear?
I'm awfully busy, Lillie.

But we have a guest, dear.
A lady from New York

who wants me to be
the head of the local
birth control organization.

Of the what?

Shh.
It's a pretty big job, dear.

Oh, indeed.

Well, in that case, Lillie,
let's go.

Mrs. Mebane,
this is my husband,
Mr. Gilbreth.

How do you do,
Mr. Gilbreth?
A pleasure, madam.

It's a great pleasure
to meet a woman engaged
in such a noble cause.

Thank you. And it's
a pleasure to find a man
who thinks it is noble.

Usually we find the husbands
so much less sympathetic
with our aims than the wives.

You'd be surprised at some
of the horrible things
men have said to me.

Yes, I can imagine.
And yet, if you could see,
as I have,

relatively young women
growing old before their times.

Ah, a pity.
A great pity.

Excuse me, Mrs. Mebane,
just a moment.
Why, of course.

*

Why, how odd.
What's he doing, Mrs. Gilbreth?

Whistling.
Oh, yes, I know.

But why?
Oh, he frequently whistles.

Uh--
Gangway!

Come on, Jackie.
Hurry up, there.
Pick up your feet.

Make it snappy.
Where's Frank? He's always late.
Come here, Frank.

Now, then.
Are we all assembled?
Yeah.

Fourteen seconds. By jingo,
I knew you could do it.

It's a new world's record.

- What is it?
- Yeah, what'd you call us for?

I want you to meet
a very important lady.

Now, come with me, children.
Watch your manners.

Children,
this is Mrs. Mebane.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?
- Hello. Hello.

I... don't quite understand.
Is this a school?
No, it isn't a school.

Then it's--
No. Oh, no.
Yes, they are.

They are what, madam?
They're yours.
Don't try to deny it.

I shouldn't think
of denying it, madam.

Let me introduce the family,
at least most of it.

Seems to me there should be
some more of them around here.
Heaven help us.

Lillie, how many head
of children have we now,
would you say offhand?

Well, the last time
I counted them, dear, there
seemed to be an even dozen.

A dozen?
I may have missed one
or two, but not many.

I'd say twelve
was a pretty fair guess.

Disgusting. And within 18 miles
of national headquarters too.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Shall we have
some tea?
Certainly not. Good day.

- Good day, madam.
- Good day.

It looks to me as though
somebody's been pulling my leg!

How revolting.
And within 18 miles
of national headquarters too.

Our summers,
we spent at Nantucket

in a cottage and two
abandoned lighthouses.

Dad had named it "The Shoe"
in honor of Mother

who, he said, reminded
him of the old woman
who lived in one.

Come on, slowpokes.
Last one in is Kaiser Bill.

There you go, young lady.

You boys look out after her.

Come along, Anne, Ernestine.
There's nothing you can do
about it.

You know how your father feels
about the primitive life.

Now, be good, children.
We will.

You'd think Dad
invented this ocean.

* Da, da, da, dee Andy.

*
Look.
Is that Tom Black?

* Doo, doo
* Doo, doo-doo, doo-doo

* La-da
Da, da, da *

- It certainly looks like him.
- *

It is.
He's the lifeguard.

Oh, I can't imagine
what he's doing here.

Well, he has to keep
in condition for swimming
somewhere, doesn't he?

Oh, yes. But here...
in Nantucket.

*
Leave your towels
here, children.

Air. Ah! Ho-ho-ho!

Wonderful air. Ho-ho.
Oh, now, Frank, please
don't overdo it.

You know what
Dr. Burton said.
That quack? He can't scare me.

My heart's as good
as his any day. Better.

But this water's
always cold.
It's a shock.

A good dip in the ocean
never hurt anybody.
Hurry up. Get your robe off.

Let's go, kids.
Come on, girls.

The sooner we get this
over with, the better.
You go on ahead, Mother.

We'll be in
in just a few minutes.
All right. But don't be long.

We won't.

Why don't we stroll by
and speak to him?
Why should we?

Well, after all, we see him
at school, don't we?

Yes. We see him,
but he doesn't even
know I-- we exist.

* Doo-doo-doo
Doo, doo,
Da, da, da-da *

* On the beach at Waikiki *

Flaming youth. Heh.
Look at them!
*

Hmm. Fine spectacle:

bobbed hair,
rolled stockings,
painted knees.

I don't know what's
coming over girls today.

Don't they know what's
going to happen to them

if they go around
looking like Jezebels?

Frank, that word's "Eskimo."
"Jezebels" I said,
and "Jezebels" I mean.

But that's the way
everybody dresses today.

Everybody
but Ernestine and me.
Why, we're-- we're freaks.

Freaks or not,
you're not going around
with bare knees

for all the boys to ogle--
not while I'm alive.

Boys don't ogle when
everybody dresses that way.
Don't tell me what boys ogle.

I was young once myself.
And I'd hate to tell you what
would have happened in my day

if girls had dressed like
some of these girls do today.

What?
Never you mind what.

But, Mother,
what's wrong with
the way girls dress today?

Is it a crime to try to look
as attractive as you can?

That isn't the point, dear.
Men-- that is, nice men--

don't want to marry girls
who make themselves cheap.

They may run around with them
before they're married,

but when they settle down,
they want someone
they can respect.

Well, they certainly respect me.

I'm the most
respected girl I know.

Why, they respect me so much,
they won't even look at me.
Me either.

That's too bad.
Honestly, Dad, how do you
expect us to ever be popular?

Popular! Popular!

That's all I hear.
That's the magic word,
isn't it?

That's what's the matter
with this generation.

Nobody thinks about
being smart or clever.

Huh. No, sir.
They just want
to be pop-ular!

- Huh.
- But, Dad, if you'd only
be reasonable.

For the last time, no.
I'll not have any fancy
women in my family.

If other people
want to go to the devil,
that's their business.

But you're not
going with them.
Is that clear?

It oughta be.
We've heard it often enough.

Otherwise you'll find yourself
right in that convent--

the one with the 12-foot wall.

Mother, what are we gonna do?

Go back and
have your swim, dear.
I'll talk to your father.

Oh, but, Mother, you--
I know, dear.
I understand.

Now, you girls run along.
I don't feel like
going in, Mother.

I'll help you
with the table.
All right, dear.

I want it back.
You said I could have it.

Give it to me!
No, you don't. Come on
and catch me, if you want it.

But it's my turn to play
with that ball.
If you want it, get it.

Andy, button me,
will you, please?
"Button me."

That's all I hear
from morning till night.

It's, "Andy, button me up,"
or "Andy, unbutton me."

Aw, you're not mad.
No, but I'm fed up.

Honestly, won't you ever
learn to button yourself?

You're pretty when you're mad.

- Oh, you little dickens.
- Go on. Get outta here.

* Da, dee-da
Dee-da, dum *

Look out, convent.
Here I come.

And I mean the one
with the 12-foot wall.

What have you done now?
Nothing. It's what
I'm about to do.

And I want you to know
I'm not doing this
just for myself.

I'm doing it for you
and Martha and Mary
and Lillian and Jane

'cause I know you'll
never be emancipated
until I pave the way.

What are you talking about?
Oh, Anne, you're not.

I've got to, otherwise
we'll all go to our graves
old maids,

still wearing
cootie garages over our ears
and long drawers.

Oh, but Dad'll murder you.
You'll back me up,
won't you?

Of course I will.
But who's gonna back Dad up?

Someone's got to
take a stand somewhere,

and I've made up my mind--
I'm going to.

Oh, but, Anne--
There!

Oh, no.

What is it, Dad?
Whatcha got?

Now, hold your horses.
Keep your shirts on.

You remember
I promised you children

there'd be no formal
studying this summer--

no language lessons
or schoolbooks.

But I've discovered a way
to teach you the Morse code
without studying.

Oh, Dad,
do we have to?
Not if you don't want to.

But those who don't
are gonna be sorry.
Yes, indeedy.

I've painted the code
on the bathroom wall--
the one that faces you.

Now, you don't have to make
a project of studying it,
but, uh,

you'll be surprised how much
you'll absorb each day when--

Who's that?
It's a telegram.
I'll get it.

It's all right, Frank.
It's probably for me.
I'll go. Hold that.

Let me see it.
I will.
Just a minute.

Does it work?
Of course it works.

Martha, will you call Anne
and Ernestine, please?
Yes'm.

- There we are.
- Thank you, Jed.

'Twas no bother.
How's the family?
Oh, couldn't be better.

Good. Glad to see you
back, Mr. Gilbreth.

Thank you very much.
Be seeing you.

Right.

Don't poke it so hard.

Get down, Fred.
You want to break it?

What is it, dear?
A cable from Blenheim
in Prague.

It seems the management
conference program
is filled without me.

Oh, Frank, really?
Blenheim says
he's still working,

but for me not to count on it.

He's trying to let me down
easy, but I gather there's
a general lack of interest.

I'm sorry, dear.
But don't be too disappointed.
There'll be other conferences.

I suppose I was
counting on it too much,
Lillie, but--

Well, no use crying
over spilt milk.

You go ahead with dinner.
I'll be right in.
All right, dear.

Hey, see what you've done?

It's just a screw.
Here, I'll fix it.

You better before Daddy sees it.

There.
Now it's all right.

Let me work it.
Wait a minute!

Leave that alone, now,
children. Sit down.

Come along.

I'll take those,
Mrs. Monahan.

Where's Anne?
She's coming up, Mother.

Come along, dear.
We're rea--

Anne, what have you done?

Look at yourself.
Oh, I have looked
at myself, Mother.

Please don't ask me
to look again. I don't
want to spoil my appetite.

But your hair.
Your beautiful hair.
What's the matter with her hair?

Take that ridiculous wig off.

It's not a wig.
I've cut my hair.
You've what?

You can kill me
if you want to,
but I've done it.

I think it looks snaky.
Besides, it's more efficient.

I'll bet she can fix her hair
now in 15 seconds.
Fix what hair?

She hasn't any hair left to fix.
Anne, how could you
do this to yourself?

Herself? How could she do it
to an Airedale?

Well, I won't have it.
I want it grown back fast.

I'm not gonna grow it back.
I don't care what you say.
I'm sick of being a freak!

Anne, come back here. Anne?
Let her go, dear. After all,
it isn't such a tragedy.

All the girls her age
are bobbing their hair now.
But I distinctly told her--

But you forget.
She's growing up.
She's no longer a child.

She has to make some
decisions for herself.

Nevertheless, I'm not gonna
have her defying me--
Please, come and have dinner.

I'll talk to her
after we've had time
to think this over.

But, Lillie, if we start letting
the children do as they please--
Please, dear, for my sake.

Well, all right,
Lillie, but--

By the time vacation was over,

and we were on our way
back to Montclair,

Dad was reconciled.

My bobbed hair
had been a bitter pill
for him to swallow,

but like all fathers
from the beginning of time,

he gulped and swallowed it.

What's that?
Oh. Hello, Daddy.
Come on in.

You might as well know
the worst. I--

I bought these
with my own money and
I'm going to wear them.

Oh, no, you're not.
You're gonna take them back
where you got them.

They embarrass me
even to look at them.
Oh, but, Dad--

Do you mean to tell me
this is all the underwear
women put on nowadays?

But they don't show.
Besides, Dad,
everybody wears them now.

If you don't believe me,
you can come and see
for yourself.

That won't be necessary.

Oh, Daddy, please
be sensible. You--

You don't really mean
I have to take them back?
Not really, do you, Dad?

Do you?
Well, all right.

But no silk stockings
and high-heeled shoes.

I'm not gonna have
a lot of doctor bills
because of foot trouble.

Thank you, Dad.
And while we're
both in the mood,

you might as well know
it's a little late
for that now.

I've been wearing them
ever since we came home
from Nantucket.

Now, Anne--
Andy! Andy, telephone!

It's a boy calling!
A boy? Excuse me, Dad!

Come back here.
I'm not saying
you can wear those things.

Better hurry up
before he gets away.
Who do you suppose it is?

Yeah, who could be calling you?
Shut up.

Hello.
Oh, hello, Joe.

Fine, thank you.

What? Oh, I'd love to.
You will?

8:00? Oh, that would be
simply wonderful.

Thank you for calling.
Good-bye.

You see, Dad? I told you
if I started dressing
like the other girls,

everything
would be all right.
Who was it, dear?

Joe Scales. He's asked me
to the senior prom
Friday night.

It's the dance of the year.
Why, how lovely, dear.
I'm so glad.

Who's Joe Scales?
Is he nice?

Well, he comes from
an awfully nice family,
and he's a cheerleader.

He's got his own car too.

Two fine recommendations.
What about a raccoon coat?

Oh, he'll probably get
that next year when
he goes to college.
Gee!

Come on. I've got to decide
what I'm gonna wear.
It's formal.

Just a minute.
Friday night, you say?
Yes.

Let me see. Um, yes.
That's all right.
I can make it.

You can make what?
The dance,
of course.

You didn't think I was gonna
let you go out by yourself
with a cheerleader, did you?

Daddy, you wouldn't spoil
everything by doing a thing
like that, would you?

- What'll he think of me?
- That you're a sensible,

well brought-up child
with sensible parents.

Honestly, Dad, don't you trust
your own flesh and blood?

Of course I trust you.
I trust all my daughters.

- It's that cheerleader
I don't trust.
- Oh, no.

- Now, make up your mind to it.
Either I go, or you don't.

- Well, shall I tell him
we'll go in his car or ours?
- His car?

Ho-ho, I should say not.
I haven't seen it, but
I can imagine what it's like.

We'll go in Foolish Carriage.

Come on, Lillie.

Oh, when you and the others
start going out,

I just hope you appreciate what
I've had to suffer for you.

- Come on, Joe.
- Okay, baby.

Is your pop ready?

Great Caesar's ghost, Lillie,

it's Joe College in the flesh.

And if he "Pop" s me once more,

I'll pop him right back.
Shh, dear.

I think he's kind of cute,
in a vest pocket way.
Cute? Heh.

He looks like what
might happen if a pygmy
married a bob-tailed penguin.

And look at that car.

Well, don't worry.
You'll be riding in yours,
not that contraption.

Thank heavens for small favors.

I'd better bring
Foolish Carriage around.

Come on, children.
Come on.

Boy, oh, boy.
You look good enough to eat.

And I'll bet you do.
Get it?

"I'll bet you do... eat"?

Won't you come in, Joe?
I'd like you to meet my family.

Sure, baby.
It'll be a pleasure.

Now, you children
behave yourselves.

Mother, this is Mr. Scales.
Good evening,
Mr. Scales.

Hiya, Mrs. Gilbreth.
I'm fine,
thank you.

And these are Anne's
brothers and sisters.
Hiya, gang.

Hi.
This is quite a family.

Yes. Will you excuse me, please,
while I get my wrap?

- Why, sure, baby.
- On the double quick, huh?

Won't you sit down, Mr. Scales?
No, thanks. I'd rather stand.
We'll only be a minute.

Well, just make
yourself at home.
Yeah, sure. Thanks.

- What's new, kids?
- Nothin'.

- Um, did you ever see a William Tell tie?
- Uh-uh.

You didn't, huh?
Well, you pull the bow,
and it hits the apple, get it?

It hits the apple--
the Adam's apple, see?

Gee, you're
the first cheerleader
we ever saw up close.

Yeah?
How about showing us
how you do a yell?

Andy and Ern taught
most of 'em to us.
I don't mind if I do.

Do you know the old
Montclair High rah?
We know that one.

Let's hit it. Let me
get rid of my hat.

- I wanna hear you holler, get me?
- Yeah.

- Ready?
- Rah! Rah! Rah, rah, rah!

Rah, rah, Montclair!
Rah, rah, Montclair!
Hoo-rah! Hoo-rah!

Oh, you Montclair!

- Psst. Psst.
- Gee, I wish
I could be a cheerleader.

- You gotta get elected.
- But don't you have to practice?

I don't know.
It just comes natural.
The car won't start.

What'll I do?
Go in his car.

Do I look like a chicken
waiting for a place to roost?

He isn't very big.
I don't think anything
will happen to Anne.

Maybe if you warn her
to come home early.

I said I was going and I am,
even if it has to be
in that insane calliope.

Daddy, have you
met Joe?
Uh, not yet, I haven't.

All set, huh?
Mighty fancy,
I'll say.

This is my father:
Mr. Gilbreth.

Pleased to meet you,
Mr. Gilbreth.

Good evening, young man.

I hear you kind of go in
for this time-saving racket.

I manage to make
a fair living at it.

I got a few ideas I'd like
to talk to you about sometime.

That would be a great pleasure.

We're late. Don't you
think we ought to go?
Let's shake that thing.

Good night, gang.
Good night, Mrs. Gilbreth.
Good night!

Good night, Mr. Scales.
Have a good time, dear.
We will, Mother.

I know it's not
your fault, Lillie,

but things would have been
a whole lot easier

if you'd taken my advice
and had all boys.

I'm sorry, dear.
I'll try to be more careful
with the next dozen.

Boy, is that a car!
I bet you he can
do 50 in it.

What's so wonderful about that?
Fifty's not so fast.

Yeah? Well, I'd like
to see you do it, fatty.
You shut up.

Shh!

Good night, Mother.
Good night, dear.

How's about
the little old
rumble seat, Pops?

You know the old saying,
"Two's company."

I'm well acquainted
with that expression,
young man.

You all right, Dad?
Dandy.

And now, if you'll be
good enough to keep it down
to a dull roar, let's go.

Right!

Special delivery
for Mr. Frank Gilbreth.
I'll sign for it.

Thank you.
Good night.

Good night.

Who's it from?
It's postmarked "Prague."

Mother,
it's the invitation.
Oh, I hope so.

Go on, Mother. Open it.
You know Dad would want you to.
Yes, go on.

But I hate to open
anyone else's mail.
Oh, but this is different.

Yes, I suppose
he wouldn't really mind.
Of course he wouldn't.

Listen.
"Dear Gilbreth,

"the board of directors
of the International
Management Conference

"have voted unanimously
to extend to you
an invitation

to speak at their
forthcoming meeting
in Prague."

Oh, Mother.
"At the same time,
I am reliably informed

"a similar invitation
will be extended to you

to address
the World Power Conference
in London. Blenheim."

Gee, and Dad just missed it.
I wish I could get this
to him somehow.

Couldn't we telephone him?
There's no telephone
in the gym.

You hop on your bicycle and run
down there and give it to him.
Okay, Mother. Sure.

That's a good boy.

Wouldn't you give anything
to see Daddy's face
when he reads it?

Yes, dear, anything.

Well, unfortunately,
I can't ride a bicycle.

*

Hiya, Joe. Hi, Anne.
Hiya, fellas.
Here you are, sonny boy.

What held you two up?
Kinda early to start
neckin', ain't it?

Shh. Ixnay. Ixnay.
Oh, excuse me, sir.

Hello, Anne. Hi, Anne.

Gee, it's her father.

What's he doing here?
Chaperoning Anne.
Isn't it a scream?

The way that cookie's
looking tonight,
she nee chaperoning.

- Hiya, Joe.
- Hiya, pal.

Where'd you get
the hand-me-downs?
Easy. Don't bruise the material.

Hey, Joe, who's the third wheel?

Yeah, you said it.
Third wheel is right.

You see, Dad?
Everybody's talking.

I don't know why boys
even bother with me.

Well, I know,
if you don't, and that's
exactly why I'm here.

Don't you sort of feel like--
like what they said--
a third wheel?
Yes.

That's what I'm gonna
keep on being.

I might not be able
to whip some of
these fullbacks,

but if I see
any of them start
taking liberties,

at least I'll be able
to run for help.

All set, baby? Come on.
Let's give it the old hips.

So long, Pop.
Don't do anything
I wouldn't do.

"Pop."

Lipstick, honey?
No, thanks.

Do me a favor, will you, sugar?
Look in my bag and hand me
my perfume.

Sure, Debby.
Oh, what a darling bottle.

Well, go ahead. Help yourself.
Oh, I don't think I should.
I never use perfume.

You don't? Why, I'd simply die
before I'd go out
without my perfume on.

Why, I'd feel positively naked.
Go on. Put a little
behind your ear.

Well, maybe just a dab
won't matter.
Oh, it's wonderful, Debby.

A little old boy I met
in New Haven sent it to me.

You know something? I just
got to meet your daddy.
I think he's so cute.

All the girls at school do.
I could just eat him up.

That's nice, but he's kind
of old-fashioned, you know.

Then I'll just adore him,
'cause I'm awfully
old-fashioned myself too.

Maybe it's 'cause I was born in
Mississippi.

You got to be old-fashioned
to be born in Mississippi.

But you will be careful,
won't you, Debby--

about the perfume
and lipstick and everything?

Now, don't you worry, honey.

My daddy's the same way--
always carryin' on about me.

But I notice he doesn't
carry on when it's
someone else's daughter.

Dad?
Oh, Anne.

Dad, I'd like you to meet
one of my very dearest friends,
Deborah Lancaster.

She's from Mississippi.
How do you do?

I've just been dying

to get somebody to
introduce me, Mr. Gilbreth.

Why, I've been hoping
to meet you ever since you
started visiting our school.

Is that so? Well, well.
I'm delighted. Delighted.

So, you're from
Mississippi, are you?

Yes, sir. I'm just
a little old fugitive
from a plantation.

Pardon me.

Hello, Debby.
Hello, honey.

Dad, this is Tom Black.
How do you do?

How are you, Mr. Gilbreth?
I'm very well,
thank you, young man.

At least I was.
I'm sorry. How about a dance?

You mind, Dad?
Not at all.

I'm sure this young lady and I

will have a very
pleasant time.
We won't be long.

Hey, what have you done
to yourself?
Nothing. What do you mean?

You didn't look
like this in Nantucket
last summer, baby.

How would you know what I looked
like? You never even noticed.
Well, I'm noticing you now,

and I mean.

If you'd rather be
out there dancing,
don't let me detain you.

Oh, no, Mr. Gilbreth.
I'd much rather
sit this one out with you.

Anne tells me you've just been
revolutionizing industry,

just saving millions of dollars
in time and things.

By jingo,
that smells good.
Do you like it?

- A little old boy from New Haven sent it to me.
- But I mean, *

what does anybody want to save
all that time for, Mr. Gilbreth?

*
So as to be able
to sit here and talk

to a--
pretty little lady like you.

Why, I declare.
Anne didn't tell me
she had such a gallant daddy,

and so good-looking too.

I wouldn't go so far
as to say that.
You'd be surprised

at the things other girls
are saying about you.

Why, they're only hopin'
you'll come to all our dances
from now on.

Is that so?
Well, if I'd known that,

I'd have started comin' sooner.

There just gonna hate me
if they don't get
to meet you too. You mind?

Oh, no. No. Of course not.
Bring 'em over.
As many as you like.

Oh, thank you, sugar-- I mean--
Excuse me, Mr. Gilbreth.

Now, don't you go away,
you hear me?
I'll be right back.

*

How about some punch?
Oh, I'd love some.

Say, your old man
sure is swell.
Dad's really sweet, but--

Believe me, you've got
to hand it to him,

coming here like this
just to look after you.

- I tried to get him
not to, but--
- I'll get it.

Excuse me, Mike.
Sure, Tom.

* Hope you like pineapple.

I do.
I mean, where are you gonna
find fathers like yours today?

Sure bet you're
proud of him.
Proud of him?

If I ever have
a daughter, I'm sure
gonna watch after her.

You aren't gonna catch me
letting her run around

by herself with guys,
you know, trying to act funny.

You aren't?
You wouldn't catch me
marrying anybody

whose folks let her
act like that either.

You wouldn't?
Oh, a fella likes
to run around with 'em, maybe,

just for a good time
before he gets married, but

when it comes to settling down,
none of these flappers for me.

I want a girl I can respect.

Why, that's funny.
That's what my mother says.

Believe me, baby, she's right.
I've been around, and I know.

Well, of course
it does make a girl
feel awfully good

to know that her parents
care what she does.

Sure makes you stop
and think, all right--

an important man
like Mr. Gilbreth sitting
in there all by himself,

not even dancing, just watching.

I-- I was just about to ask him
to dance when you came over.
Yeah? Well, come on.

I guess I can spare one dance.
But just one, you understand.
The rest are mine.

What about
Joe Scales?
That wet smack?

After all, he is my date.
What am I gonna do with him?
Throw him back, baby.

He's too small to keep anyhow.

Look!

I can't believe it.
Well, what do you know?
Say, not bad, either.

Come on.
Let's dance.
No, wait a minute.

I have an idea something
tremendous has happened.
Yeah? What?

Oh, you wouldn't understand,
only I guess it's my salvation.
I don't get it.

It's too deep for me.
I'll tell you someday.
Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, Dot.
May I cut in, please?
Oh, certainly, Anne.

I just love dancing with you,
Mr. Gilbreth.
Thank you, young lady.

Well, I hope you haven't
been too lonely, Dad.
Oh, no. I've managed.

Funny. I didn't know
you could dance.
Hmm.

There's lots of things
you don't know, young lady.

Maybe you ought
to congratulate me.
What for?

After all,
it isn't every girl
in Montclair High

whose father can be
the belle of the ball.

I wanted to show friends
of yours they're not the
only ones who can dance.

Your mother and I--
Okay, Dad.
I understand.

Now, let's be honest.
They're not really
bad kids, are they?

I suppose they're all right,
after their fashion.

And you're not really gonna
tag along with me every time
I go out, are you?

We'll decide that
when I get back.

I won't be able to tag along
while I'm in Europe.

In Europe? But I thought
you weren't going
to Europe.

Oh, yes. I'm gonna speak
in London as well as Prague.

When did you
find out?
The invitation just came.

Your mother sent it
over by Frank.
Oh, Daddy, that's wonderful.

Now, Anne, dear--
Anne, don't get emotional.

If you're gonna toddle
with me, by jingo,
let's toddle.

Okay, Dad.
Let's go.
*

Thank you.

*

Are you sure you have
everything, dear?
I think so.

Both your speeches?
Right here
in my briefcase.

How about
your pills?
Enough to last a lifetime.

You'd better hurry, then.
You haven't much time.
Be right with you.

Anne? Ernestine?
Come along, girls.

- Your father's ready to leave.
- We're coming.

Frank, you'd better take
his suitcases.
Yes, ma'am.

Mother, why can't we go
to the station with Daddy?
Yeah, I wanna see the train.

When I get back,
I'll show you lots of trains.

But I don't intend
to start off to Europe
wringing wet with tears.

You know how I feel
about good-byes.
Dad?

Yes?
Here's something
for you,

but don't open it till
you get on the boat.
More socks?

Whose idea was it
for me to learn to knit
in the first place?

Okay, I plead guilty.
Thank you, dear.

Well, I better get started.
Trains don't wait, you know.
Come on, kids. Let's go.

Come along, children.
Don't forget to send postcards
from England and Czechoslovakia.

It won't hurt you kids to write
me now and then, either.

I don't see why
we never get to go
on a boat to Europe.

After all, Dad, they come
cheaper by the dozen.

Ah, not for Eskimos.

I'll leave the car
at the garage
downtown, Lillie.

This darn carburetor's
acting funny again.

They'll send it back.
Yes, dear.

Well,
good-bye, dear.

Good-bye, Frank.
Take good care of yourself.

Don't worry about me.
And if anything comes up
and you need me, cable me.

I'll take care of the work here.
You just forget it
and enjoy yourself.

I will.

Come here, young lady.

You gonna be a good little girl
and eat your spinach for Daddy
while I'm gone?

Make you big and strong.

And that goes for you too.

Good-bye, Lillie.
Good-bye.

Good-bye, girls.
Good-bye, Daddy.

Ernestine.
Good-bye, Dad.

Anne. Never mind
about you three.

You children behave yourselves.
Do what your mother tells you.

I'll be back
in a couple of months.
Good-bye, Mr. Chairman.

I guess I can count on you
to keep the bed warm
while I'm gone. Ha, ha, ha.

Mighty fine dog.

Good-bye. I'm gonna
miss you so much.

A little more attention
to books and a little less
to that swimming champion,

and you'll stand
a better chance
of getting into college.

I'll work on it, Dad.
That's my girl.
Lillie?

Good-bye, dearest.
Good-bye, dear.

Have a good time.
I'll try.

Bring us some souvenirs, Dad.

Take good care of your mother
and don't forget to write.
We will.

Good-bye!
Good-bye! Good-bye!

Good-bye!

Hello? Oh, hello, Dad.
Hey, where are you?

Yes, sir. She's upstairs.

Oh. Okay, I'll call her.
Hey, Mother!
Yes?

Dad's on the phone.
He forgot somethin'.
He wants to talk to ya.

I'll be right down.
Okay. She's comin', Dad.

Have a good time, now.
Yes, sir. I will. Good-bye.

He's at
the Montclair station.
Thank you, dear.

Don't be late for lunch.
I won't.

Hello, Frank.

Hello? Hello?

Hello, Frank.

Operator.

Operator,
are we still connected?

Well, that's funny.
No one answers.

Hello? Hello?

Frank?

Frank!

Anne.
Oh, hello,
Mrs. Benson.

Your mother wants you
to come home, dears, right away.
What is it? What's happened?

Your father was taken ill
at the station.
I'm afraid it's his heart.

Is it-- Is it bad?
I don't know
how bad, dear.

Mrs. Monahan said
you were shopping
and asked me to find you.

Frank's playing ball.
Do you know where?
The school grounds, I guess.

I said I'd pick him up too.
Come on. Let's get in.

You children better go on in.
I'll park in my driveway.

How-- How is he,
Mrs. Monahan?

Oh, Andy.
Our daddy's dead.

Sit down, children.

I've called you older children
together because I think you
ought to know the situation.

There isn't going to be
a great deal of money.

Most of it's had to go back
into your father's business.

I talked by telephone
to your grandmother
in California,

and naturally she wants
all of us to move out there
and live with her.

If it's a matter of money,
Mother,

I plan not to go to college
anyway. I'll get a job.

I don't want to go
to college either, Mother.
Wait until I've finished.

There's an alternative, but
it hinges on your being able
to take care of yourselves,

and it will involve sacrifices
from all of us.

I want you to make the decision.

I can go on with your father's
work, keep the office open,

and that will mean
that we can keep the house.

We'll have to let
Mrs. Monahan go,
and live very simply.

We couldn't let Jim Bracken go,
could we?
Oh, he wouldn't go anyway.

No, I think we can manage
with Jim.

And if things work out the way
I think they will, Anne,

you can go to college
later on too.

You know your father wanted
all of you to go to college.
Don't worry about that, Mother.

Do you want to try it?

Can you run the house and look
after things until I get back?

Get back
from where, Mother?
I'm going to Europe.

I'm going to give those speeches

for your father
in London and Prague.

We all know how much
they meant to him,

and I'm sure that's
the way he would want it.

But as I say,
the final decision
is up to you.

Oh, Mother, you don't
have to ask us.
Why, you know

we'll do anything
as long as we can
stay together.

Thank you, dear.
I knew that's the way
you'd feel about it.

Well, since I'm gonna
be planning the meals
from now on, I--

I guess I better get started.

I'll go over everything
with Mrs. Monahan.
Yes, dear.

And I'll see the house
is kept nicely, Mother.
Just the way you like it.

And I'll
help her, Mother.
We all will.

Thank you, girls.
Me too, Mother.

Maybe Bill and I
better go down and see
some used car dealers

about sellin'
the automobile, Mother.

You'd better tell them
to bring a tow car.

You know Foolish Carriage
never starts for anyone
but Daddy.

Yeah, and sometimes
it wouldn't even start for him.

I'll do all the errands,
Mother, and help Jim.
He's getting pretty old.

That's right.

Well, son?
Yes, Mother.

From now on,
you'll have to be
the man of the family.

Sure, Mother.
We'll handle things.

And we'll do a good job too.
You wait and see.

Yes, son.

I know you will.

Anyhow, that's
one man's opinion.

Yes, Dad, Gilbreth and Company
will go on.

Mother and your even dozen
will see to that.

Mother will go to Europe,
and you'll be proud

of the way she delivers
those speeches for you.

And she'll go right on,
following in your footsteps

to become the foremost
woman industrial engineer
in the world and, by 1948,

America's Woman of the Year.

But wherever you are,
Dad, somehow I'm sure
you know that

and never doubted it
for a moment.