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At 15, I was sick of being a nerd
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When you're a nerd, people you want
to pay attention to you ignore you,
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and the people you wish would ignore you, pay attention to you
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And I was done with it
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From now on, I was going to be cool
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Cool guys got everything
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girls, cars, girls, money
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girls
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But what exactly is cool?
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I tried the surfer look
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I tried the superhero look
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I tried the cowboy look, but I ended
up with the Village People look
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No matter what I did, I ended up
looking as cool as a fat guy
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in a sweat suit with a herringbone chain
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Since I knew nothing about being cool,
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I decided to consult with the coolest guy I knew,
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to find out his secrets
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Hey, little dude from across the street
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Let me hold a dollar
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Hey, man, can I talk to you for a minute?
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Yeah
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Later on
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What do you think makes a guy cool?
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Cool?
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Man, nothing makes you cool
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You either cool or you not
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But what if you're not born cool,
and you want to be?
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Well, the fastest way is to
associate yourself with cool people
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That way you're cool by association
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But why would they want to hang with me?
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Look, man
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it starts with attitude, all right?
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Followed by a little headgear
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Accompanied by the walk
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The walk?
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Yes, man All right, the walk
38
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You got to put a lean in your walk, man
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You know, like Like you're slightly
bothered by an old gunshot wound to the hip
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Like this
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Easy for him
He had a gunshot wound to the hip
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You see?
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Now you try
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Nah, man, that That That ain't it
45
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Look, uh
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The collar That's right
47
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Get this collar popped up, man
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All right
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Now Now try again
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I can't watch this
51
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Nah, nah
That That That
52
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That's not it at all
53
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All right, look, we definitely gonna
have to pull out the big guns on this
54
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Now, the coolest boy in the world right now
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is LL Cool J
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And you think you can make me look like him?
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Let's find out
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Not bad Not bad at all
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Hey, Chris
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It's working already?
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Let me hold a dollar
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Here's my selfrespect too
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Keep the change
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Well, got to go, little dude from across the street
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Stay cool
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While I was on my way to being cool,
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spring cleaning was making my mother hot
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Ugh
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Look at all this junk
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No, he didn't
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Julius!
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What's going on?
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This is what's going on
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You told me you were gonna get rid of that years ago
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Instead you just hid it from me?
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It wasn't hid
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Yes, it was
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It was underneath your camouflage jacket
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It was camouflaged!
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Baby, it's a good coat
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Do you remember who gave you this coat?
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- I think it was Janet
- You're damn right!
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So when you told me that you were gonna get rid of it,
84
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that means you were lying, so now you're a liar?
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Yes
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You're acting like you pulled
Janet out of the closet
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What difference does it make?
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It's a coat, not a woman
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Damn
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So you're telling me you're gonna keep the coat,
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even though I'm telling you that I don't want you to keep it?
92
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Yeah I see no sane reason to get rid of it,
93
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so I'm keeping it
94
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Okay, fine
95
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Keep the coat, Julius
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I hope it keeps you warm
97
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Takes a brave man to choose a coat over a woman
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A brave, stupid man
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Hey, man, did you get shot in the leg?
100
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No, why?
101
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'Cause you're walking like it hurts
102
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Well, man, I'm just trying to be cool
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It's not working
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It's not working?
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Look at you You look like a powderblue Dean Martin
106
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Technically, I look like a powderblue Joey Bishop
107
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Whatever We need to change our images
108
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I don't know about you, but I'm tired of
being at the bottom of the totem pole
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A powderblue totem pole
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That's true
111
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You see, I want to be like them
112
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yes
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Tell me why they don't go to school, and they don't work,
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but they have great cars and great girls?
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Because they're criminals
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Those are the kids from the arcade
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We can't be like them
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I mean, those kids have either been
suspended, expelled or dropped out of school
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When you're old, that makes you a loser,
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but when you're young, it gives the illusion of cool
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Shh, be quiet
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Hey, kid, you got a cigarette?
123
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No, but I got some gum
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Forget it
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It's spearmint
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And sugar free
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I don't think he's listening
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Well, we learned one thing
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Cool guys have cigarettes
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Now before you go gettin' all upset,
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in 1986, almost everybody smoked
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People didn't give a damn about health
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Here's a partial list of things in this picture
that people didn't know where dangerous
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no sunscreen
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carcinogenic hair gel
136
00:06:01,443 --> 00:06:02,818
trans fats
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and high fructose corn syrup
138
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Eventually, all these people died horribly,
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but while they lived, they were cool
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My brother Drew was so cool, he could do anything,
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but in the spring of '86, that changed
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Here, take this thing away from me
143
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What's this?
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It's evil
145
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The Rufus Cube,
the most diabolical puzzle ever invented
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It caused nervous breakdowns, divorces and suicides,
147
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because it was almost impossible to solve
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This looks easy
149
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Chris, I got to go into the library
for a few minutes Watch the register
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The library?
151
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Yeah, I got to go to the bathroom
152
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I do some of my best handicapping in the john
153
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Keep an eye on the register
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A big part of being cool is taking advantage
of opportunities when they present themselves
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Now that I had cigarettes,
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I had the start of what I needed
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A real cool guy wouldn't have paid,
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but Nerdy McGee would have felt too guilty
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Even though I had the keys to being cool,
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Greg was locked into being a square
161
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All right, just put one of these behind your ear
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Dude, that's contraband
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- The Surgeon General told us
- Greg
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do you want to look cool or not?
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Yeah, but I don't want to be a fugitive
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SWAT
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- Freeze!
- GO GO GO
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Down
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All the way down
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Slowly remove the cigarette away from your ear
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- Stay there, dirtbag
- Don't move
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You don't have to smoke it
You just have to put it behind your ear
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and walk around like those guys at the arcade
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The arcade?
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I'd like to get back in there again
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- You were in the arcade?
- Yeah, once
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Forget that
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Okay, that was before you looked cool
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Okay, man, I'll try it
180
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Yeah Oh, remember, you get caught with a cigarette
in school, it's an automatic suspension
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Right, it's just to walk around and
look cool for the other kids
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Right
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So how do I look?
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Nervous
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Come on, man, pop your collar
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You know, put your shades on
Roll up your pant leg
187
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Okay
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- Better
- No, it's not
189
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All right, let's make a pact
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If either one of us gets caught by the
teacher, we don't rat out the other Deal?
191
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Deal
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Chris gave it to me
193
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Chris?
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I am so disappointed in you
195
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I know that nicotine, pork rinds and
malt liquor are the black man's vices
196
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You forgot white women
197
00:08:32,147 --> 00:08:34,209
But why infect Gregory?
198
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Because I wanted to be cool
199
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Now I just feel like a fool
200
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I don't know
201
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Well, I'm sorry, Chris, but you're suspended
202
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When my parents found out, I was finally going to be cool
203
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Cool as a corpse
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My father had worked hard all day
205
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But my mother had been to space
206
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You went to work like that?
207
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Don't you know you could get fired?
208
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What did your boss say?
209
00:09:01,879 --> 00:09:05,022
Hm So you say you want a raise?
210
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I got a raise
211
00:09:09,974 --> 00:09:11,311
You shouldn't be wearing that
212
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Get rid of it
213
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Oh, I'll be happy to get rid of it,
214
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as long as you get rid of that jacket
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I'm not getting rid of my jacket
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Fine
217
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- Fine
- Fine
218
00:09:21,684 --> 00:09:22,684
Not fine
219
00:09:26,287 --> 00:09:28,888
When you get suspended from school
they call your parents,
220
00:09:28,913 --> 00:09:32,163
so if the phone rang
this could be my last meal
221
00:09:33,524 --> 00:09:34,796
So, what's going on, Chris?
222
00:09:34,821 --> 00:09:35,874
What do you mean?
223
00:09:35,995 --> 00:09:37,890
I dont lmow
There's something different about you
224
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Did you get a haircut? No
225
00:09:39,653 --> 00:09:40,726
Well, you look kind of cool
226
00:09:40,751 --> 00:09:43,043
What he thought was cool was actually terror
227
00:09:43,068 --> 00:09:45,043
Mama, why are you dressed like that?
228
00:09:45,248 --> 00:09:46,543
Ask your father
229
00:09:46,623 --> 00:09:48,189
Daddy, why is Mama dressed like that?
230
00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:51,994
Maybe your mother doesn't know the difference
between a perfectly good coat and a space suit
231
00:09:52,085 --> 00:09:53,814
Better be glad she doesn't have a ray gun
232
00:09:53,971 --> 00:09:55,845
So, Chris, how was your day at school?
233
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It was all right
234
00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:57,920
Anything interesting happen?
235
00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,634
- No
- You sure?
236
00:09:59,659 --> 00:10:01,486
'Cause usually you talk more about school
237
00:10:01,511 --> 00:10:03,412
Can't get you to stop talking about it
238
00:10:03,543 --> 00:10:05,603
Nothing happened at school, okay?
239
00:10:05,628 --> 00:10:06,783
It was just like any other day
240
00:10:06,885 --> 00:10:08,470
Any other bad day
241
00:10:08,495 --> 00:10:10,197
Why are you talking to your brother like that?
242
00:10:10,222 --> 00:10:11,423
He just asked you a question
243
00:10:11,448 --> 00:10:12,963
Yeah, Chris, calm down
244
00:10:13,867 --> 00:10:15,884
Drew, will you put that thing down and eat your dinner?
245
00:10:15,909 --> 00:10:18,111
Hold it, Dad, II've almost got it
I can't stop
246
00:10:18,136 --> 00:10:19,836
Either you eat your dinner or do the cube
247
00:10:19,861 --> 00:10:20,728
What's it's gonna be?
248
00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:22,119
I'll take the cube
249
00:10:23,503 --> 00:10:26,405
I thought somehow I had dodged the suspension bullet,
250
00:10:26,430 --> 00:10:28,752
but actually it was just loaded in a different gun
251
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- Hey, Chris, wait up
- What's up?
252
00:10:31,237 --> 00:10:33,213
Nothing Just thought I should tell you about my day
253
00:10:33,238 --> 00:10:33,877
What about it?
254
00:10:34,229 --> 00:10:37,963
Oh, I just sat around the house by myself,
answering phones, taking messages
255
00:10:38,044 --> 00:10:38,939
Good for you
256
00:10:38,964 --> 00:10:43,314
Yeah, I talked to Grandma, Uncle Michael,
the principal from your school, Daddy
257
00:10:43,339 --> 00:10:45,759
Never underestimate the power of the devil
258
00:10:45,784 --> 00:10:48,253
Wait a minute, did you say the principal from my school?
259
00:10:48,278 --> 00:10:51,892
Yeah, you know, they always call when they suspend
somebody from school for having cigarettes
260
00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,184
Did they think you were Ma?
261
00:10:53,209 --> 00:10:55,722
I don't know I just answered the phone, and they
started talking
262
00:10:55,747 --> 00:10:57,214
What are you out? Three days?
263
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:59,230
I'm guessing that's a total of $15
264
00:10:59,691 --> 00:11:00,691
What is?
265
00:11:00,716 --> 00:11:04,203
Five dollars a day You know it's
gonna cost to keep my mouth shut
266
00:11:04,611 --> 00:11:06,562
The price of being cool was steep,
267
00:11:06,587 --> 00:11:08,469
but it beat the price of being beat
268
00:11:11,984 --> 00:11:13,797
Getting suspended
from school was hard
269
00:11:13,822 --> 00:11:16,687
but figuring out
what I was gonna do with my day was harder
270
00:11:18,775 --> 00:11:20,180
Hey, man, what are you doing here?
271
00:11:20,218 --> 00:11:21,391
I had nowhere else to go
272
00:11:21,841 --> 00:11:23,341
You're not still mad at me, are you?
273
00:11:23,366 --> 00:11:24,891
Yeah, actually, I am
274
00:11:24,916 --> 00:11:25,916
You ratted me out
275
00:11:25,941 --> 00:11:27,375
I'm torn about it, man
276
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,398
Please, don't make me feel any worse than I already am
277
00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:31,211
Why did you cave so fast?
278
00:11:31,236 --> 00:11:33,471
My therapist says I'm bad under pressure
279
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:34,984
I'm just not cool
280
00:11:35,009 --> 00:11:35,930
No kidding
281
00:11:35,955 --> 00:11:37,422
Forget about it It's all right
282
00:11:37,581 --> 00:11:38,750
so What are you gonna do all day?
283
00:11:38,775 --> 00:11:39,680
I don't know
284
00:11:39,986 --> 00:11:42,254
Wander around till it's time to go home
285
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,827
Maybe I'll see you at lunch
286
00:11:45,593 --> 00:11:46,602
Got to go
287
00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:55,175
Well, all right
288
00:11:55,597 --> 00:11:58,221
I was at the arcade, but I was afraid if I went in
289
00:11:58,246 --> 00:12:00,136
what happened to Greg would happen to me
290
00:12:04,321 --> 00:12:06,659
Hey, it's Juicy Fruit
291
00:12:08,285 --> 00:12:09,768
Hey, want a smoke?
292
00:12:10,148 --> 00:12:11,534
Look at Juicy Fruit
293
00:12:12,337 --> 00:12:13,182
Thanks, man
294
00:12:13,207 --> 00:12:14,240
What you up to?
295
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:15,551
Nothing Just hanging
296
00:12:15,961 --> 00:12:17,004
What's the matter, Juicy Fruit?
297
00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:18,473
You get lost on the way to school?
298
00:12:18,498 --> 00:12:19,998
No, actually, I got kicked out
299
00:12:20,023 --> 00:12:21,650
- So did I
- So did I
300
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:22,675
Actually, we all did
301
00:12:22,773 --> 00:12:24,713
Except for Vinnie, He never went
302
00:12:26,076 --> 00:12:28,244
Hey, come on in, hang out for a while
303
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:29,220
Cool
304
00:12:29,245 --> 00:12:31,711
I might not smoke,
but right now, I'm on fire
305
00:12:31,736 --> 00:12:33,836
You know, you could do this yourself, Julius
306
00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:36,219
Yeah, but every time I do
I nick my head
307
00:12:36,682 --> 00:12:37,797
You know what's going on?
308
00:12:37,822 --> 00:12:39,820
You got a lot of bumps back here
Lot of lumps in the back of your head, man
309
00:12:39,845 --> 00:12:41,852
My grandmother used to read these things, man
310
00:12:41,877 --> 00:12:44,251
The configuration is telling me you got a lot of tension
311
00:12:44,276 --> 00:12:45,869
Yeah, well, that's true
312
00:12:46,306 --> 00:12:48,142
BOY Oh, got one coming at 200
313
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:49,734
In barbershops across America
314
00:12:49,759 --> 00:12:51,916
somebody's always on the lookout for women,
315
00:12:52,012 --> 00:12:53,259
no matter how they look
316
00:12:53,284 --> 00:12:54,750
Oh, man
317
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,009
Look at that outfit
318
00:12:56,034 --> 00:12:58,369
Man, she look a fool
319
00:12:58,394 --> 00:13:00,087
Ooh, I wished my mama looked like that
320
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,384
I'd never leave the house
321
00:13:01,409 --> 00:13:04,142
Here she come across our street Come
on, come on, get a little closer, baby
322
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:06,869
Uhuhuh That is a Cadillac walk right there
323
00:13:06,894 --> 00:13:07,712
Honky Cadillac
324
00:13:07,737 --> 00:13:08,737
Wait a minute
325
00:13:08,979 --> 00:13:09,845
What? What?
326
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,087
Man, that's
327
00:13:11,936 --> 00:13:13,939
Who? Hey, hey, who is it?
328
00:13:14,053 --> 00:13:16,001
No, don't worry about it, man It's just
329
00:13:16,026 --> 00:13:17,837
Where'd she go? What?
330
00:13:17,945 --> 00:13:19,080
Hey, everybody
331
00:13:19,105 --> 00:13:20,705
- Hey
- Hey
332
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,626
Hey, baby I was just wondering
what you wanted for dinner tonight?
333
00:13:23,843 --> 00:13:24,814
Rochelle
334
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,962
I guess I'm interrupting something
335
00:13:28,987 --> 00:13:30,689
You know what? I'll just make you roast beef
336
00:13:33,264 --> 00:13:34,072
Bye, boys
337
00:13:34,097 --> 00:13:36,041
338
00:13:39,823 --> 00:13:41,157
Man, you got problems
339
00:13:41,182 --> 00:13:42,231
You got that right
340
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:42,731
man
341
00:13:43,733 --> 00:13:46,450
The next day, I had no question about where I was going
342
00:13:46,715 --> 00:13:48,809
Hey, Juicy Fruit, you want some beer?
343
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,572
Nah, I only drink beer with my dinner
344
00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:52,278
Maybe we should go get something to eat later
345
00:13:52,303 --> 00:13:55,067
Maybe ,So, what are we doing for the rest of the day?
346
00:13:55,541 --> 00:13:57,848
Just about time to go pick up Vito
347
00:13:57,953 --> 00:13:59,473
You're gonna love Vito
348
00:13:59,625 --> 00:14:00,418
Who's Vito?
349
00:14:00,598 --> 00:14:01,817
He's a friend of ours
350
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:02,842
He gets out today
351
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:03,734
Out of what?
352
00:14:05,242 --> 00:14:06,210
Come on, let's go
353
00:14:06,601 --> 00:14:09,453
- You're cute, Juicy Fruit
- Not too badlooking yourself
354
00:14:20,369 --> 00:14:21,869
Trixie had her eye on me,
355
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,283
but somebody else had their eye on us
356
00:14:28,733 --> 00:14:30,346
This way, Vito
357
00:14:31,550 --> 00:14:32,830
All right, Vito We'll see you again
358
00:14:32,855 --> 00:14:34,221
Later that day, I met Vito
359
00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:36,432
He was the guy these guys looked up to
360
00:14:36,457 --> 00:14:38,002
He was also a convict
361
00:14:42,886 --> 00:14:43,886
Who's this?
362
00:14:43,911 --> 00:14:45,213
He's Juicy Fruit
363
00:14:45,238 --> 00:14:45,994
Juicy Fruit?
364
00:14:46,127 --> 00:14:47,533
What kind of name is Juicy Fruit?
365
00:14:47,558 --> 00:14:48,758
My real name is Chris
366
00:14:48,892 --> 00:14:50,385
Don't worry about it He's cool
367
00:14:50,543 --> 00:14:51,291
Yeah?
368
00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:52,526
You cool, Juicy Fruit?
369
00:14:52,776 --> 00:14:53,756
Yeah, I'm cool
370
00:14:53,781 --> 00:14:54,979
Not with that nickname
371
00:14:55,004 --> 00:14:56,705
We'll see about that the day after tomorrow
372
00:14:57,359 --> 00:14:58,744
What happens the day after tomorrow?
373
00:14:58,769 --> 00:15:00,698
We're gonna get the guys who ratted on me
374
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:03,377
We'd do it tomorrow, but I need one day to get the guns
375
00:15:04,091 --> 00:15:05,151
And you're gonna be the lookout
376
00:15:05,825 --> 00:15:07,612
So you cool with that, Juicy Fruit?
377
00:15:07,637 --> 00:15:09,963
Mamaaaa!
378
00:15:12,559 --> 00:15:14,460
Before I went ahead with being a lookout,
379
00:15:14,485 --> 00:15:16,185
I got a second opinion from Doc
380
00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:18,299
And they want you to be the lookout?
381
00:15:18,324 --> 00:15:19,791
Yeah, I mean, I don't want to do it,
382
00:15:19,816 --> 00:15:22,651
but these kids like me, and I've come so far in my coolness
383
00:15:22,676 --> 00:15:25,032
And I'm just the lookout
I can't get in any real trouble
384
00:15:25,057 --> 00:15:26,180
Wrong
385
00:15:26,491 --> 00:15:28,454
You don't know nothing about crime, do you?
386
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,727
You act as a lookout while something felonious occurs,
387
00:15:31,752 --> 00:15:33,633
that makes you an accessory
388
00:15:34,056 --> 00:15:35,602
Yeah, but I'll still be cool, right?
389
00:15:35,627 --> 00:15:36,919
Wrong again
390
00:15:37,214 --> 00:15:40,050
There are a lot of subheadings to being an accessory
391
00:15:40,145 --> 00:15:42,124
You can be an accessory before the fact
392
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:44,169
You can be an accessory after the fact
393
00:15:44,336 --> 00:15:47,172
Or you can be an accessory during the fact
394
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,063
In any event,
395
00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:50,610
if you get caught, you going to jail
396
00:15:50,635 --> 00:15:52,930
Doc spent three to five as an accessory
397
00:15:54,563 --> 00:15:57,264
Do you know how embarrassed I was
when you walked in there in that outfit?
398
00:15:57,352 --> 00:15:58,446
I don't see why
399
00:15:58,471 --> 00:16:01,563
That was a perfectly good pair of hotpink fishnet stockings
400
00:16:01,588 --> 00:16:03,844
I don't see any sane reason not to wear them
401
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,001
Okay, you win
402
00:16:06,204 --> 00:16:07,704
I'll get rid of the coat
403
00:16:08,782 --> 00:16:09,844
You sure?
404
00:16:10,066 --> 00:16:11,727
Now, I don't want to twist your arm
405
00:16:11,752 --> 00:16:12,930
That's a good coat
406
00:16:14,434 --> 00:16:17,141
Baby, you look like you're about to ease on down the road
407
00:16:17,217 --> 00:16:18,217
Yeah, I'm sure
408
00:16:18,498 --> 00:16:20,743
When all else fails, quit
409
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,235
Where's Drew? Dinner's almost ready
410
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,665
He's upstairs, working on that cube
411
00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:27,251
He's been messing with it all day
412
00:16:27,276 --> 00:16:29,282
He is obsessed with that thing
413
00:16:29,307 --> 00:16:30,547
What'd you do at school today, Chris?
414
00:16:31,795 --> 00:16:34,404
Oh, you know, same old, same old
415
00:16:35,014 --> 00:16:36,537
Uh, my day was great
416
00:16:36,736 --> 00:16:39,295
We're learning time tables
Today we did fives
417
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,209
Five times one is five,
and five times two is ten,
418
00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:44,201
and five times three is 15
419
00:16:44,226 --> 00:16:47,056
And five times four is a brick upside your head
420
00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:52,084
Sure, I could have not shown up,
421
00:16:52,109 --> 00:16:54,310
but then every time the cool guys saw me at school,
422
00:16:54,335 --> 00:16:56,985
they'd say, "Hey, there goes the guy that's not cool"
423
00:16:57,044 --> 00:16:59,345
All right, you stand here
424
00:16:59,549 --> 00:17:01,461
If the cops come, you blow this whistle
425
00:17:01,947 --> 00:17:02,727
Got it?
426
00:17:02,854 --> 00:17:04,742
Yeah, but I don't really think we should be here I mean
427
00:17:04,767 --> 00:17:06,534
I was out where the buses don't run
428
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,571
I had lost touch with the mother ship
429
00:17:08,596 --> 00:17:10,653
I was someplace where I didn't belong
430
00:17:10,678 --> 00:17:12,345
Chris, what are you doing here?
431
00:17:12,370 --> 00:17:13,074
Sweating
432
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:14,733
I'm hanging with the guys from the arcade
433
00:17:14,945 --> 00:17:15,738
The cool kids?
434
00:17:15,763 --> 00:17:17,300
I don't know if they're cool anymore
435
00:17:17,474 --> 00:17:19,503
- What's going on?
- I'm a lookout
436
00:17:19,528 --> 00:17:21,977
And if the cops come, I'm supposed to blow this whistle
437
00:17:22,002 --> 00:17:25,360
Dude, that makes you an accessory
before, during and after the fact
438
00:17:25,385 --> 00:17:27,235
I know, I don't even want to be here
439
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:28,494
But I'm kind of stuck
440
00:17:28,556 --> 00:17:29,783
You got to think about this, Chris
441
00:17:29,971 --> 00:17:32,924
My uncle was a lookout one time,
and he ended up getting shot in the throat
442
00:17:32,992 --> 00:17:34,092
In the throat?
443
00:17:34,117 --> 00:17:35,541
Yeah, he didn't die,
444
00:17:35,633 --> 00:17:38,158
but he ended up wearing a turtleneck
for the rest of his life
445
00:17:39,436 --> 00:17:41,170
I knew if I didn't blow that whistle
446
00:17:41,195 --> 00:17:43,162
I would never be one of the cool kids
447
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,416
In fact, the cool kids might kill me
448
00:17:45,441 --> 00:17:47,564
But if being cool meant going to prison,
449
00:17:47,589 --> 00:17:49,447
that price was just too high
450
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:50,783
So, what are you gonna do?
451
00:17:50,808 --> 00:17:52,611
I did what any nerd would do
452
00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:57,072
That day, Drew lost his cool too
453
00:17:58,797 --> 00:18:00,041
What's wrong with you?
454
00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:01,931
Take this thing away from me
It's evil
455
00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:04,025
I know
I hate these things
456
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:05,556
Yeah, I never want to see it again
457
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:06,767
Me neither
458
00:18:09,072 --> 00:18:10,861
So what kind of games do you like to play?
459
00:18:10,886 --> 00:18:12,353
I love Monopoly
460
00:18:12,378 --> 00:18:13,439
Really? Me too
461
00:18:13,464 --> 00:18:15,666
Maybe we can get together and play sometime
462
00:18:15,691 --> 00:18:17,471
Great Uh, can I have your number?
463
00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:18,705
I already wrote it down
464
00:18:19,283 --> 00:18:21,041
Even when Drew failed, he succeeded
465
00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:23,056
Guys who do the Rufus Cube
466
00:18:23,081 --> 00:18:25,283
ended up with other guys who do the Rufus Cube
467
00:18:25,308 --> 00:18:27,166
Drew ended up with a girl
468
00:18:30,549 --> 00:18:32,382
Who knew? To solve the Rufus Cube,
469
00:18:32,407 --> 00:18:34,675
you either had to have the mind of a genius,
470
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,937
or the liver of Lindsay Lohan
471
00:18:39,179 --> 00:18:40,880
Finally my suspension was up,
472
00:18:40,905 --> 00:18:43,140
and for once, Tonya didn't rat me out
473
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,529
Have a good day at school, Chris
474
00:18:46,053 --> 00:18:48,084
- Thanks, Tonya
- No problem
475
00:18:48,109 --> 00:18:51,488
If you're wondering why my cool friends
didn't come after me and kill me,
476
00:18:51,513 --> 00:18:53,347
it's because of what happened to them
477
00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:56,363
Johnny Boy spent the rest of his life in prison
478
00:18:57,632 --> 00:18:59,824
Trixie had a tragic pole accident
479
00:19:00,027 --> 00:19:01,160
I'm gonna move your leg
480
00:19:01,185 --> 00:19:02,817
Nice and slow here
481
00:19:02,952 --> 00:19:06,179
Vito lived a happy, successful life
for the next four hours
482
00:19:06,425 --> 00:19:09,210
Then he was gunned down by some other cool guys
483
00:19:10,554 --> 00:19:12,359
It seems cool, like beauty,
484
00:19:12,384 --> 00:19:14,382
turned out to be in the eye of the beholder
485
00:19:14,407 --> 00:19:18,243
This task force will not sleep or be deterred
486
00:19:18,654 --> 00:19:20,882
until the gang's leader is apprehended
487
00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:22,749
For the purpose of this case,
488
00:19:23,024 --> 00:19:25,648
we're calling him Mr Cool,
489
00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:28,695
aka Juicy Fruit
490
00:19:29,045 --> 00:19:35,451
� Everybody Hates Chris �
35064
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