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Every school year there were always days
when students had to do special assignments
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Good morning everybody
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Some were easy like Thanksgiving
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Your assignment is to write a report
about what you're thankful for
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And Martin Luther King Day
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Your assignment is to report
about what you would dream about
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if you were about to be shot
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Some were a lot harder
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This week is my favorite holiday: Earth Day
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Or as you would say Chris "Earf Day"
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If you live on Earth isn't every day Earth Day?
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What's Earth Day?
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Well Chris people are destroying the planet with things like
plastic bags and cans bottles and indestructible foodstuffs
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On Earth Day we put forth our best efforts to save the planet
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I thought saving the planet was a waste of time
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because I was too busy trying to save me
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I tried saving my face
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I tried saving my ass
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I even tried saving my future kid's ass
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To this day I love geography
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Your assignment is to do something
you think will help save the Earth
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Greg
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You mean something like building a solar-powered tanning bed?
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Isn't that what the beach is?
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That's very good Greg
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Chris what would you like to do?
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I knew my dad had a truck and Bed-Stuy was a mess
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So I had the perfect project
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Uh collect cans and recycle them?
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That's wonderful
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Then you could take the money
and do something for the environment
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You could plant a tree
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Maybe I could plant my foot in your b--
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Having my father help me with my Earth Day project
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seemed like a great idea until he found out about it
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Earth Day?
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It's the day we try to save the Earth
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I have a project to do too
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Well Earth Day must not be too important
if I still got to go to work
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Are the banks closed?
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You still got to feed the parking meters?
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And what are you doing to save the Earth?
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I'm recycling cans
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and the money I make I'm going to use
to help the environment
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Just like Bono
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I don't know Chris
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Sounds like it might take too much time
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Julius your son is trying to save the Earth
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Are you going to help him or not?
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My father had been asked that question before
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and there was only one right answer
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whether it was something minor:
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Are you going to do the dishes or not?
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Or something major:
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Are you going to propose to me or not?
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Here you go baby
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Oh!
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Thank you
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See?
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Sure I'll help you out
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Here's your first can
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I hope you get an A
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Thanks Dad
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What are you doing boy?
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I have to build a car out of this piece of wood
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I want to know what you're doing with my potatoes
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That's how I'm going to power it
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It's environmentally friendly
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You wasting my potatoes is butt-whipping friendly
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Wait till he finds out Drew's making the engine out of steak
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Listen to this: "Dear parent
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"your daughter Tonya has been cited
"for a conduct violation
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"and your presence is being
requested for a conference"
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What kind of conduct violation?
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She said I was being rude and belligerent
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Ain't no damn body rude and belligerent
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I'm going to go down there
and show them what rude and belligerent is
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No kidding
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Rude and belligerent
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While I had my father on my side
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my mother was going to get a teacher off of Tonya's back
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I don't see why I have to take a whole day off of work
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to come down here for this nonsense
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I don't think it's nonsense
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Tonya was exhibiting aggressive behavior
toward a classmate
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I just wanted you to be aware of it
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I was just trying to read and she wouldn't be quiet
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Girl you interrupt me again
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I'm going to knock the sound out of your mouth
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How was she being aggressive?
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Apparently Tonya turned toward her study partner and said this:
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You'll get to hear it on the unrated DVD
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Did you say this?
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Sorta
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Well she was trying to study right?
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That's not the point
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Oh well I think it is
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This is school
and her behavior will not be tolerated
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Her behavior?
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What about the other little girl's behavior?
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Why don't you have her mother come
down here and tell her kid to shut up
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while my baby is trying to study?
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That's neither here nor there
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Then please where is it?
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What I'd like to ask is do you know
where Tonya got this language from?
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My mother had two answers to that question
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Answer A:
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She got it from this knot I'm about to put upside your head
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And answer B:
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Well I don't know
but it won't happen again
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Have a nice day
Tonya come on
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I want to get transferred
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Girl don't backtalk me right now
Now is not the time
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At Doc's I was setting out
on my master plan
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If you want to save the Earth
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you better figure out what to do about them Russians
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They got bombs
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My whole family worked in the fields
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I hate fields
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I love concrete
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You can't grow cotton on concrete
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I help the environment by driving as much as I can
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You ever ride that train?
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That train is filthy man
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You know it's dirty as hell when rats got footies on
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You want to save this planet?
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Get rid of them
trains Get rid of them trains
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I help the environment by wearing wigs
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People put a whole lot of chemicals
in their hair Then they wash it out
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It goes right into the river
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People got to drink that water
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When you done with a wig just flush it down the toilet
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If it ends up in your glass well at least you can see it
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I use "I Can't Believe This Is Not Margarine"
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It tastes real great
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Plus it has paudridridamadra- hydraglycerin
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That saves cows
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If the Earth died that would be tragic
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but I sure like to sell that coffin
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So how'd it go with Tonya?
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Her teacher is crazy That's how it went
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What happened?
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I was trying to study and this girl kept talking so I told her
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If you don't shut up
I'm going to slap the chatter out of you"
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And she left me alone
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Wow you sound just like mom
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No she doesn't
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She does
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I mean just a little
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So you think that this is my fault?
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Well you do kind of always yell
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Okay then fine I'll stop
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What? That's funny?
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Yes
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You're going to stop yelling?
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Yes I'm going to stop yelling
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You just watch
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I got five dollars says you won't last a week
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Bet
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My money's on him
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My father had promised to help me collect cans
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but all he was collecting was some shut-eye
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Dad
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Dad
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You think we can go out and get started?
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Started on what?
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Collecting cans
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What cans?
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For my project
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What project?
My school project
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What school project?
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Collecting cans
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Chris I'm tired
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Can't you do it yourself?
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Yeah I guess I can start by myself
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A kid collecting cans with his dad is recycling
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A kid collecting cans by himself is bum practice
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Dad?
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Well Earth, it's just us
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Since my dad wouldn't help me
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It looked like I'd have to save the Earth all on my own
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Unfortunately you could turn in cans for
money and every bum in Bed-Stuy knew it
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They may be bums but they're not lazy bums
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Hey Chris
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What are you doing in there?
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Collecting cans
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Turn in enough
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get a lot of cash plus it's good for the environment
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What are you doing soldier?
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I'm trying to collect cans too
It's for my Earth Day project
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Want to collect cans around here?
You got to be quick
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Yeah I guess so
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Got to be quicker than that
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And not mind sitting in garbage
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After a few days I could see that
my recycling project was no can do
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You've got to be quick to get the cans
That's a big business
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I thought my dad was going to be helping me
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This was supposed to be easy
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Maybe you should switch projects
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00:08:29,104 --> 00:08:31,993
Yeah now all I have to do
is come up with a solar-powered excuse
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I'd help you
but I ran into a major problem
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00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,282
What happened?
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00:08:36,564 --> 00:08:38,016
While I was making my tanning bed
205
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I accidentally invented an incandescent light bulb
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that won't burn out for 600 years
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That's amazing Then you'll definitely get an A
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- I can't turn that in
- Why not?
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Are you crazy?
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I'd be a marked man
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I'm not taking down every major power company in the nation
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They'd have me killed in a minute
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So I decided to switch projects
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I'm going with a dung-powered radar system
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US patent number D349127
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So what are you going to do?
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00:09:02,914 --> 00:09:05,679
Well I figure there's a bunch of cans around here somewhere
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I might as well just keep looking
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See these two little cup-like things?
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Mm-hm?
221
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Put the potatoes in them
222
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Take one of these little electrodes
and plunge it into the potato there
223
00:09:16,159 --> 00:09:18,522
and take the other one and plunge it into
the other potato
224
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Back at home my mother needed help too
225
00:09:21,482 --> 00:09:23,647
Drew what is all this stuff on the table?
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00:09:23,672 --> 00:09:25,593
Boy you better clean this table before I knock--!
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Are you yelling?
228
00:09:27,570 --> 00:09:28,272
No
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00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:31,856
Sweetie
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00:09:33,199 --> 00:09:36,377
When you get a chance
would you mind putting this stuff away
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so I-I-I can set the table for dinner?
232
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Yeah I'll do it in a minute
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00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,476
Hi Tonya
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00:09:43,631 --> 00:09:45,882
Did Daddy say you could have ice cream before dinner?
235
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Nope but I got hungry
236
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,367
But Tonya it's almost dinnertime
I don't want you to ruin your appetite--
237
00:09:51,392 --> 00:09:53,404
Mama don't worry about it
I'm going to eat my dinner
238
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This is like watching a volcano almost erupt
239
00:10:04,335 --> 00:10:06,524
Outside calm inside furious
240
00:10:07,915 --> 00:10:09,876
Tonya why are you reading at the table?
241
00:10:10,071 --> 00:10:11,204
Why aren't you eating dinner?
242
00:10:11,229 --> 00:10:12,596
I'm just not hungry
243
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,915
well maybe it's all that ice cream you had before dinner
244
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:16,993
Yeah maybe
245
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:18,774
Who said you could eat
ice cream before dinner?
246
00:10:18,799 --> 00:10:20,900
- Nobody
- That's the problem
247
00:10:20,925 --> 00:10:21,665
What?
248
00:10:21,971 --> 00:10:23,031
Nothing
249
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:28,329
So Chris how's your project coming along?
250
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:31,548
Okay
251
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:35,305
Um me and Dad are just trying to figure out a
time that's good for us to go looking for cans
252
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,996
Yeah we're working on the time
253
00:10:37,021 --> 00:10:39,769
Oh okay that's nice
I'm sure you two will work it out
254
00:10:40,116 --> 00:10:40,863
I'm not
255
00:10:41,171 --> 00:10:43,184
Well I finally figured out my project
256
00:10:43,341 --> 00:10:45,301
I hope you figured out how to clean that mess up
257
00:10:46,788 --> 00:10:48,356
I-I built a potato clock
258
00:10:48,803 --> 00:10:50,918
Now all I have to do is paint it
259
00:10:51,420 --> 00:10:52,129
Paint?
260
00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:53,617
On my dining room table?
261
00:10:57,373 --> 00:10:59,348
Oh no you don't You're not getting me
262
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I'm keeping that five dollars
263
00:11:02,050 --> 00:11:02,824
Paint all you want
264
00:11:02,849 --> 00:11:05,346
Paint 20 potatoes
if you have to Drew
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00:11:05,770 --> 00:11:06,803
Are those my good potatoes?
266
00:11:06,828 --> 00:11:07,828
Not anymore
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00:11:07,853 --> 00:11:09,087
Yeah but I'll chop 'em up
268
00:11:09,112 --> 00:11:10,916
and make French fries after I turn my project in
269
00:11:11,375 --> 00:11:13,362
Hey check it out I put a calendar on the front
270
00:11:14,076 --> 00:11:16,534
I thought you were supposed to be making a car
271
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:18,600
I thought you were supposed to be eating your dinner
272
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:22,737
I was but the potatoes were too weak to run it
273
00:11:23,089 --> 00:11:25,627
I wonder how many potatoes we need
to get rid of the light bill
274
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:28,354
Enough to make mashed potatoes for the next million years
275
00:11:28,379 --> 00:11:30,714
So Dad you think you could pick me up after school tomorrow?
276
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,002
For what?
277
00:11:32,470 --> 00:11:33,776
To pick up cans
278
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,463
Yeah yeah cans
279
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:38,401
No problem
280
00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:40,408
Work tomorrow? No problem
281
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,435
Unfortunately for me if you offer my dad a job
282
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:45,190
he forgot about everything else
283
00:11:45,393 --> 00:11:46,329
So Dad
284
00:11:46,354 --> 00:11:48,705
I'm going to come straight home
after school tomorrow okay?
285
00:11:49,281 --> 00:11:52,034
Oh I'm sorry Chris
I just picked up an extra shift
286
00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:53,690
I get paid time and a half but
287
00:11:53,715 --> 00:11:55,382
hey you're doing okay though right?
288
00:11:56,597 --> 00:11:58,041
Yeah Dad I'm fine
289
00:11:58,329 --> 00:12:01,784
All right I knew you would
You're the man That's my boy
290
00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:07,994
We learned the reason my mother yelled
wasn't because she liked yelling
291
00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:09,901
it was because if she didn't yell
292
00:12:09,926 --> 00:12:11,160
no one would hear her
293
00:12:11,447 --> 00:12:12,279
Drew wake up
294
00:12:12,304 --> 00:12:12,873
Hey--
295
00:12:14,675 --> 00:12:16,074
Chris you're going to be late
296
00:12:16,461 --> 00:12:17,456
I'm coming
297
00:12:17,481 --> 00:12:18,612
Okay fine
298
00:12:19,164 --> 00:12:21,573
Don't go to school
Grow up stupid
299
00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:26,538
Tonya wake up baby
300
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:28,289
All right all right
301
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:29,469
Five more minutes
302
00:12:35,937 --> 00:12:36,795
See?
303
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:39,574
Oh this is what I'm talking about
304
00:12:39,677 --> 00:12:40,967
I try to be nice
305
00:12:41,914 --> 00:12:43,467
and this is the thanks I get
306
00:12:43,523 --> 00:12:46,334
Yeah I try not to be rude and belligerent
307
00:12:46,359 --> 00:12:48,646
If I wasn't nothing would get done around here
308
00:12:48,671 --> 00:12:50,072
But that's okay
309
00:12:50,268 --> 00:12:53,498
Oh okay I guess I'm supposed to clean this up too?
310
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,791
Oh no no no problem Mr Potato
311
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:56,849
I'll clean you up
312
00:12:56,874 --> 00:12:58,141
I have nothing else better to do
313
00:12:58,166 --> 00:12:59,881
No please you sit right there
314
00:13:00,106 --> 00:13:02,107
I'll be back
No really stay!
315
00:13:02,552 --> 00:13:03,584
No it's okay
316
00:13:03,764 --> 00:13:04,904
It's okay because--
317
00:13:04,929 --> 00:13:05,590
Uh-oh
318
00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:11,248
Now that is just nasty
319
00:13:12,179 --> 00:13:14,681
After searching around I found a few cans
320
00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:17,095
but what I really needed was some help
321
00:13:26,033 --> 00:13:27,900
There he is officer
That's the man
322
00:13:28,294 --> 00:13:29,830
hold it right there, stop
323
00:13:29,855 --> 00:13:31,119
That's my boy
324
00:13:31,747 --> 00:13:34,721
If I ever needed my dad's help I needed it then
325
00:13:34,746 --> 00:13:35,650
Dad?
326
00:13:37,186 --> 00:13:38,120
Dad!
327
00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:41,674
Dad! Ah dang it
328
00:13:41,972 --> 00:13:42,906
Wait!
329
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:47,226
Move move move
330
00:13:54,517 --> 00:13:55,545
Dad?
331
00:13:55,845 --> 00:13:57,123
I'm not your daddy
332
00:14:05,191 --> 00:14:06,160
Am I?
333
00:14:06,185 --> 00:14:07,035
No
334
00:14:07,299 --> 00:14:08,675
Thank you God
335
00:14:19,921 --> 00:14:23,457
To get cans to recycle first I had to cycle them
336
00:14:24,441 --> 00:14:25,808
Hey baby what you doing?
337
00:14:26,277 --> 00:14:29,332
I looked everywhere and I couldn't find
any cans So I figured I'd get my own
338
00:14:29,407 --> 00:14:30,121
Want a soda?
339
00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:31,603
Yeah thanks
340
00:14:31,884 --> 00:14:34,434
You mean to tell me
you and your daddy couldn't find one can?
341
00:14:34,459 --> 00:14:36,332
I didn't want to tell on my dad
342
00:14:36,357 --> 00:14:37,816
but I didn't want to lie
343
00:14:38,759 --> 00:14:42,786
Well Dad hasn't really had any time
to come looking for cans with me
344
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,402
He's been working
345
00:14:45,245 --> 00:14:46,434
Really
346
00:14:46,948 --> 00:14:48,974
My project was on its last leg
347
00:14:48,998 --> 00:14:51,363
And for my mother that was the last straw
348
00:14:51,584 --> 00:14:52,668
Julius wake up!
349
00:14:52,693 --> 00:14:54,227
Oh oh what's going on? What? What?
350
00:14:54,412 --> 00:14:56,199
I thought you were gonna help Chris with his homework
351
00:14:56,224 --> 00:14:57,723
I was I am
352
00:14:57,748 --> 00:14:58,543
When?
353
00:14:58,739 --> 00:15:01,027
I don't-- Rochelle I've been working
354
00:15:01,052 --> 00:15:03,105
Oh and I've just been laying around the house all day?
355
00:15:03,130 --> 00:15:04,330
Is that what it is?
356
00:15:04,508 --> 00:15:08,512
I ask you to help that boy with one
homework assignment in what 15 years?
357
00:15:08,537 --> 00:15:10,043
And you can't even do that!
358
00:15:10,068 --> 00:15:14,035
All I ask you to do is take the boy and pick up some cans
359
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:15,066
I'm sorry
360
00:15:15,091 --> 00:15:17,025
"I'm sorry" You ought to be!
361
00:15:17,510 --> 00:15:22,824
Your son needed your help with one school
assignment but ,no you were too busy
362
00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:24,551
But baby--
363
00:15:24,576 --> 00:15:26,066
But-but-but what?
364
00:15:26,197 --> 00:15:27,764
Are you going to help him or not?
365
00:15:28,977 --> 00:15:30,098
Mm
366
00:15:30,694 --> 00:15:32,161
That's exactly what I thought
367
00:15:32,678 --> 00:15:33,324
Hm
368
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,749
Take your money
369
00:15:36,447 --> 00:15:39,049
I'm ba-ack!
370
00:15:39,354 --> 00:15:41,949
After school I was in for a big surprise
371
00:15:42,537 --> 00:15:43,293
Dad?
372
00:15:46,845 --> 00:15:47,845
What's wrong?
373
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:49,215
What happened?
374
00:15:49,288 --> 00:15:50,489
Whoa calm down
375
00:15:50,661 --> 00:15:52,728
I'm here to help you with your Earth Day project
376
00:15:52,753 --> 00:15:53,793
I thought you had to work
377
00:15:53,818 --> 00:15:54,785
I do
378
00:15:54,810 --> 00:15:56,160
Now let's go get these cans
379
00:16:05,371 --> 00:16:06,700
380
00:16:11,496 --> 00:16:13,184
381
00:16:16,645 --> 00:16:18,520
382
00:16:33,291 --> 00:16:34,624
Looks pretty full
383
00:16:34,758 --> 00:16:36,854
Yeah so you want to take it to the recycling center?
384
00:16:36,879 --> 00:16:38,346
No let's take it first thing in the morning
385
00:16:38,371 --> 00:16:39,026
Yeah
386
00:16:46,751 --> 00:16:49,713
So Tonya
I know you heard me scream yesterday
387
00:16:50,362 --> 00:16:52,329
Yeah, are you sorry?
388
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:55,137
No I'm not sorry
and I'll tell you why
389
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,644
You can only talk that way to someone when you love them
390
00:16:59,147 --> 00:17:01,512
But you have to be nice
to the people that you don't know
391
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,183
But that doesn't make any sense
392
00:17:04,859 --> 00:17:06,832
No it doesn't make any sense
393
00:17:06,857 --> 00:17:08,504
but it so happens to be true
394
00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:09,972
Like when Bush got reelected
395
00:17:09,997 --> 00:17:12,777
but How can it be true if it doesn't make any sense?
396
00:17:13,643 --> 00:17:15,707
Because that's just the way the truth is
397
00:17:17,122 --> 00:17:17,738
Oh
398
00:17:18,333 --> 00:17:21,269
So this means that I'm going to go back
to yelling at everybody
399
00:17:21,745 --> 00:17:23,082
Because you love us?
400
00:17:23,254 --> 00:17:24,324
Exactly
401
00:17:24,779 --> 00:17:26,680
So I can yell at you too?
402
00:17:26,954 --> 00:17:29,988
Mm if you want the fillings
knocked out of your face go right ahead
403
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:37,472
I'd collected cans now it was time to cash in
404
00:17:43,074 --> 00:17:44,608
Sorry you had to miss work for this Dad
405
00:17:44,633 --> 00:17:45,822
That's okay
406
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:46,845
So how much money did you make?
407
00:17:46,870 --> 00:17:48,197
One hundred? $200?
408
00:17:48,222 --> 00:17:48,931
Six
409
00:17:48,956 --> 00:17:50,056
Six hundred dollars?
410
00:17:50,081 --> 00:17:51,525
No six dollars
411
00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:53,064
I can't do anything with this
412
00:17:53,089 --> 00:17:55,204
How am I supposed to save the Earth with six dollars?
413
00:17:57,648 --> 00:17:58,741
You know what Chris?
414
00:17:58,766 --> 00:18:01,272
To some people six dollars is a lot of money
415
00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:05,554
You said you wanted to help the planet
416
00:18:08,192 --> 00:18:10,861
I just hope he knows this is cash not a salad
417
00:18:10,925 --> 00:18:12,492
Hey Kill Moves
Konnichiwa!
418
00:18:12,954 --> 00:18:13,686
Oh
419
00:18:13,711 --> 00:18:14,554
Hey Chris
420
00:18:14,579 --> 00:18:15,912
I got something for you
421
00:18:16,464 --> 00:18:18,065
- Uh what's this for?
- Earth Day
422
00:18:18,090 --> 00:18:19,090
Earth Day huh?
423
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:20,534
Hm thanks
424
00:18:21,628 --> 00:18:22,401
Hey
425
00:18:22,693 --> 00:18:23,793
Happy Earth Day
426
00:18:24,552 --> 00:18:25,776
Let's get you to school
427
00:18:27,819 --> 00:18:31,180
People talk about saving the planet
by picking up cans and bottles
428
00:18:31,205 --> 00:18:33,203
but the one thing I learned from Earth Day
429
00:18:33,228 --> 00:18:35,472
was that saving the planet meant a lot to me
430
00:18:35,516 --> 00:18:38,472
but doing it with my father meant the world to me
431
00:18:41,778 --> 00:18:45,548
So Chris tell us about your Earth Day project
432
00:18:45,847 --> 00:18:48,378
Oh well me and my dad collected a truckful of cans
433
00:18:48,403 --> 00:18:50,074
Chris that's wonderful
434
00:18:50,099 --> 00:18:51,967
And I gave the money to somebody less fortunate
435
00:18:51,992 --> 00:18:55,300
I mean there's no reason to save the Earth
if you can't save the people
436
00:18:55,419 --> 00:18:57,980
Oh Chris that's so profound
437
00:18:58,511 --> 00:19:02,730
Other than the fact that you can see
Stevie Wonder's got nothing on you
438
00:19:03,652 --> 00:19:05,347
I know in my heart
439
00:19:05,372 --> 00:19:09,409
that money is somehow going to help us all
440
00:19:10,851 --> 00:19:14,220
So we have 13 Styrofoam ice chests
441
00:19:14,525 --> 00:19:16,511
four cans of aerosol spray paint
442
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,667
one pack of cigarettes a gallon of whisky
443
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:22,527
and one container of "I Can't Believe It's Not Margarine"
444
00:19:23,492 --> 00:19:26,074
Would that be paper or plastic?
445
00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,027
Plastic
446
00:19:29,087 --> 00:19:30,753
Happy Earth Day
32011
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