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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {25}{175}Advertise your product or brand here|contact www.SubtitleDB.org today {905}{983}1864, April 22nd. {986}{1079}I remember that day|like It was yesterday. {1081}{1143}A renegade troop|of Northern soldiers {1146}{1210}fought In the so called|Civil War, {1252}{1319}raped our women,|murdered our children, {1321}{1376}even took out|my goddamn eye {1379}{1422}I can still hear|Granny's cries {1424}{1506}as they burnt Pleasant|Valley to the ground. {1559}{1599}They killed us all, {1601}{1671}doomed us|to a life in limbo. {1673}{1807}Nothing more|than ghosts seeking revenge. {1809}{1880}Guess that's the way|the good Lord wants It. {1883}{1923}Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, {1925}{1971}as the Old Testament says. {1974}{2041}One thing's for certain, {2043}{2119}our souls ain't|ever gonna find rest {2122}{2218}'til all 2001 are avenged {2819}{2920}Yes, sir, name's Buckman.|Mayor James W. Buckman. {2923}{2959}And here In Pleasant Valley, {2962}{3049}the anniversary of our|tragic massacre has arrived. {3051}{3122}And so have we. {3124}{3179}Knives have been|sharpened for justice, {3182}{3274}table set for revenge. {3276}{3351}We try to make sport of it|for the little ones. {3354}{3459}No reason vengeance|can't be fun. {3461}{3537}Only thing missing|are the Yanks. {3539}{3617}And so, yet again, {3619}{3653}we wait. {3823}{3905}Must admit Granny's been|deeply loyal through the decades. {3907}{3976}Just ain't Into rubbing|ankles with her no more. {3979}{4045}Last time we did,|I popped my son. {4047}{4079}Filthy scum. {4082}{4143}I think that's|them coming now. {4145}{4201}What in the blazes-? {4203}{4242}Yee-haw I {4244}{4279}Come on. {4282}{4359}The South's|Gonna rise again {4415}{4509}The South's|Gonna rise again {4511}{4585}Yeah I Yee-haw I {4635}{4710}The South's|Gonna again {4712}{4770}You ain't gonna|like this none, Daddy. {4772}{4849}Sheriff Freeman here, done|tore down the detour sign {4851}{4906}Will you please? {4908}{4948}Yeah I {4951}{4989}Damn! {4991}{5077}What seems to be the problem|here, my good Sheriff Freeman? {5079}{5173}The problem, my good man, is every|spring I get calls from State police {5175}{5271}after yours little festival,|looking for missing Northern folk. {5274}{5327}Up 'til now, I've played|ball ya'll, {5329}{5383}but now I've got Ben|sniffing around my butt. {5386}{5483}"You've played ball, " because we've|paid you quite a generous bounty {5486}{5595}for your stewardship, ain't|that right, sweet cream? {5598}{5698}You didn't mind me when you was|a cub scout, you little Davy? {5700}{5731}No, ma'am. {5734}{5795}You wouldn't be pretending|you can resist me? {5798}{5827}No, ma'am. {5830}{5874}That's what I thought. {5876}{5991}Look, milk or no milk, I ain't dropping|the soap in prison for none of ya'. {5994}{6052}Ain't gonna be|no more jamborees. {6055}{6136}No more feastin',|no more killin'. {6139}{6194}None of it!|Is that clear? {6196}{6265}Clear as|a nighttime kiss, {6267}{6356}on a young|possum's cooch. {6440}{6523}This town used to be a jewel|on the crown of the South. {6526}{6586}You maniacs squeezed it into a turd. {6589}{6664}Now hush up, you big baby,|you're ruining all the fun. {6666}{6785}Amen, Harper. Such Ingratitude|brings a tear to my eye {6787}{6873}when I think of all the hard work|that went into making this thrill ride. {6875}{6900}Am I|right, folks? {6902}{6928}Yeah! {6930}{6971}Damn you|and your thrill ride. {6974}{7078}Well if that's how you feel I'll|have to tickle you on the way down. {7081}{7144}Hold on a minute,|wait a minute ya'II. {7177}{7234}Come on. {7277}{7322}Hold on. {7324}{7348}We'll make a deal. {7350}{7389}No! {7391}{7446}No? No. {7449}{7506}Fuck you and your maniacs! {7508}{7534}Wait, wait a minute. {7536}{7560}Bye-bye. {7562}{7588}No. No! {7590}{7657}Okay, folks,|what time is it? {7659}{7696}Roll out the barrel! {7698}{7728}The what? {7730}{7784}Roll out the! {7786}{7832}I'm- I'm sorry,|I can't hear you. {7834}{7913}Kill that mother fucker! {7915}{7977}You got it! One, {7979}{8023}two, {8026}{8071}three! {8366}{8392}Ugh I {8394}{8447}Bulls eye! {8450}{8484}Ooh! {8598}{8669}Oh! Let's hear some|of that 'oI death rattle! {8771}{8820}I'll see you|in hell, Buckman. {8822}{8905}We're already there. {8907}{8958}Ugh! {9186}{9252}Rot in hell|Rot in hell {9393}{9439}Ah, well, Bucky, {9442}{9518}if the Northern folk|won't come to the South- {9520}{9568}Well, we'll bring|the South to them! {12466}{12525}Right there on the road, {12528}{12630}don't forget to check|the backseat. {12675}{12731}Next week on Road Rascals {12734}{12788}the Old South gets|a taste of Beverly Hills, {12791}{12909}as America's favorite debutantes Rome|and Tina Sheraton, head to Georgia. {12912}{12949}Watch out,|red states. {12952}{13000}'Cause we're|coming your way. {13003}{13057}I hear the South|smells like shit. {13060}{13144}Isn't the Liberty|Bell In? {13147}{13237}I hear they have these bugs there,|called chiggers, that sleep in your puss. {13240}{13308}Those Mexican cleaning ladies|better not bitch us out. {13311}{13377}My sister has got to|ditch that icky dead dog, {13380}{13464}yeah it was sad when Biscuit died|but then Rome got it taxidermed. {13467}{13546}I cannot stand my|sister's boyfriend, Falcon. {13549}{13596}He's so gay. Hello? {13639}{13722}Tina's, not for sure,|but, you know, {13725}{13792}it's not like we're|married or anything, so. {13795}{13867}Yo, yo, yo, what plays in|Georgia, stays in Georgia. {13870}{13913}Just don't tell Rome.|Right, bro? {13981}{14089}All this and more,|next week on Road Rascals. {14092}{14144}So, that's the promo. {14147}{14196}Nice. {14199}{14236}Don't you|just love it? {14239}{14301}Absolutely. Red|state, blue state, {14304}{14347}Rome and Tina Sheraton, {14350}{14441}the wing of the left flying deep|Into the heart of the rights. {14444}{14521}I think we're talking|Golden Globe on this one. {14524}{14601}Why so|shortsighted, Jerry, {14604}{14651}I mean, why not Pulitzer, or the Nobel? {14654}{14706}What could possibly|be more prize winning {14709}{14778}than these two jiggling their|tits across the heartland? {14781}{14812}Bristol, please. {14815}{14868}Well, I know Mommy's|little Biscuit loved it. {14871}{14916}Didn't she? {14919}{14997}Mommy's little Biscuit|doesn't love anything any more, {15000}{15070}will you bury that already.|It fuckin' stinks. {15073}{15140}Why do you have to be|such a goddamn tool, K-Jay? {15143}{15204}I'm not the one smacking|a stuffed corpse. {15207}{15238}Tina. {15241}{15272}Falcon. {15275}{15318}Stop bagging|on the rat. {15321}{15456}Ow! I mean, K, can't you show|Biscuit just a little respect? {15459}{15583}Bro, who's on the fucking|leash? You or the bag of sawdust? {15586}{15676}Look, dude. I kiss her|ass, she makes me famous. {15827}{15976}Fucking cheapskates put some damn|curtain like I'm the fucking hired help. {15979}{16050}Where the fuck|are we anyway? {16053}{16110}Iowa? What|the fuck Is In Iowa? {16113}{16164}I shouldn't have|let you drive. {16167}{16256}Will you get off|your rag already? {16259}{16306}How many times|do I have to tell you? {16309}{16388}Momma wants a hard shell taco when|all you got is a soggy chingadera. {16391}{16431}Shut up, baby. {16434}{16515}I got a hard shell taco. You need|to supersize it. Now back to work. {16518}{16560}Come on, come on.|There you go. {16563}{16599}Now shut the fuck up|and suck it. {16650}{16723}Yes, yes, yes, I can see. I can see It. {16726}{16829}I see a new|moon rising. {16998}{17092}Excuse me I've had|enough of this shit {17137}{17177}I know you|and these asses {17180}{17236}like to do whatever you|want down Rodeo drive, {17239}{17281}but here,|I'm the producer {17284}{17384}I'm the boss There'll|be no party, no drugs, {17387}{17432}and no sex! {17435}{17544}Do you think you can put that no|sex clause in Jerry's contract? {17547}{17662}There's no respect, I'm the|driver, the production assistant, {17665}{17723}I'm the fucking caterer {17726}{17803}the fucking-|Fuck, fuck, baby. {17806}{17882}We're full time party girls,|Val. Okay? It's what we do. {17885}{17941}And it's like, you don't|want us doing what we do. {17944}{18018}Yeah, like making me wear|panties to the Saturn A wards, {18021}{18072}or not letting Rome shave her head. {18075}{18164}Girls, girls, it's not|about wearing panties {18167}{18247}or shaving|your puss- Head, {18250}{18366}It's about not letting these|parasitic boyfriends drag you down. {18369}{18458}You got to evolve|into modern women. {18461}{18516}More like modern|rug munchers. {18519}{18591}Shit- Uh- {18594}{18685}Uh, uh, Madre de Dios Madre de Dios {18688}{18720}Damn I {18723}{18771}What happened? {18912}{18955}Get off of me {19006}{19053}What the fuck|is wrong with you, Jezus? {19056}{19134}It's "Jesus", puta, and I|hit a fucking detour sign. {19137}{19166}I n the middle|of the road? {19169}{19196}Yeah. {19199}{19243}How much is this|gonna cost me, Jesus? {19246}{19337}Knowing your cheap ass, you probably|didn't even insure this piece of shit, {19340}{19385}so I just made you|some money, bruja. {19388}{19490}Look, they spelled it|the French way. {19493}{19528}Where the fuck|are we anyway? {19531}{19576}Iowa. {19579}{19639}How the fuck|did we get to Iowa? {19642}{19692}Sorry, I was a little bit distracted. {19737}{19808}Hey, we could|always camp out. {19811}{19876}You know, get the girls In thongs, {19879}{19939}roasting marshmallows, {19942}{19991}It would make|for some great footage. {19994}{20072}H m, I don't think so. This|place looks way too creepy. {20075}{20135}Yeah, It makes|Biscuit's hair stand up. {20138}{20194}That would be|the Formaldehyde, babe. {20197}{20247}Dude, respect. {20250}{20338}For once, I agree with the|debutantes. Let's just get out of here. {20341}{20402}I hate to Interrupt|the production meeting {20405}{20465}but I got two busted front|tires and only one spare, {20468}{20501}we ain't|going nowhere. {20504}{20531}Call Triple A. {20534}{20575}Call them yourself,|diabla rubia. {20578}{20626}God! Do I have|to do everything? {20711}{20753}There's no signal. {20756}{20817}Que sorpresal {20820}{20880}Pleasant dreams, m'Ijosl {21046}{21124}What? They spelled it in French. {21727}{21765}K- Jay! I said no anal! {21768}{21828}Babe, don't look at me! {21831}{21963}Uh, I was just checking|the, uh, the battery and- {21966}{22043}Come on, babe, let's get some privacy. {22046}{22140}That's right, fool. Get|sticky with yourself. {22275}{22363}Oh, yeah, baby! Lower,|lower! Rake the clam! {22366}{22407}Is that good?|Is that good? {22410}{22479}Rake it. Rake the clam. Rake it! {22482}{22507}You like that? {22580}{22632}Oh, nightmare. {22635}{22669}Tinkle time. {22672}{22706}Make that tinkle|for two. {22709}{22758}Let's finish|together this time. {22761}{22804}One. {22807}{22846}Two. {22849}{22881}Three {22884}{22910}What the fuck! {22913}{22969}Welcome to Pleasant|Vally! H m, sorta. {22972}{23055}Hey, Hey|Yowdy, heydy, aye {23058}{23184}Great new world|Brand new day {23267}{23337}Hey, Hey|Yowdy, heydy, aye. {23340}{23377}Whoo-hal {23380}{23445}Now let me introduce|myself. Name's Buckman, {23448}{23538}George W. Buckman, and|ya'll arrived just in time {23541}{23651}to be our special guests at the|Pleasant Valley Travelling Jamboree {23696}{23728}You clowns|for real? {23731}{23790}As|it gets, macho. {23793}{23876}That's right. Now, uh,|back In our hometown {23879}{23926}of dear 'oI Pleasant|Valley, Georgia, {23929}{23968}every year about this time- {23971}{24009}Whoa. {24012}{24049}What the hell Is that? {24052}{24171}Why, that's|my pooch box. {24174}{24216}Pooch box? {24219}{24277}Scarlet Red means|log box, gentlemen, {24280}{24393}come her 18th birthday I|may present her with the key. {24396}{24462}She's very progressive. {24465}{24593}Oh, you good at licking rock, Hollywood? {24596}{24671}Hell, I'll lick|your rock silly, babe. {24674}{24773}China Rose|is trying to say {24776}{24900}" Picking locks?|My lock. " {24903}{24955}I can pick locks. {24958}{25040}When I was a kid, I broke into a shul, {25043}{25149}and the Shammes caught|me lifting a challah. {25152}{25246}Holy Moly I Folks,|we got ourselves a Hebrew I {25284}{25335}That's "Jew"|to you, Colonel. {25338}{25443}Jew, Hebrew, Christ-killer,|It's all the same in Spain. {25446}{25498}That reminds me, {25501}{25620}what's the difference between|an Israeli and an Israelite? {25623}{25693}About 100 calories. {25696}{25748}Moving right|along, folks. {25751}{25808}Every year, down in|Georgia, we put on a show- {25811}{25860}Wait a minute.|Did you say Georgia? {25863}{25929}Why, yeah, ma'am,|our proud govern state. {25932}{26027}Do you think we could cheat|this local for Georgia? {26030}{26114}For the right price,|I can play Laguna Beach {26117}{26171}for the Golan Heights. {26174}{26227}What's all|the whispering about? {26230}{26299}Uh, Mayor Buckman.|Turner, VaI Tuner. {26302}{26332}Producer. {26335}{26376}Oh. {26379}{26480}Well, I do think we|shall join your jamboree. {26483}{26554}Well, that's great news {26557}{26590}H it, Crow! {26593}{26652}Hot games and feasting'|Yeah! {26705}{26746}Ew. {26749}{26776}Ugh. {26779}{26859}Hot games and feastin'|Yeah I {26862}{26946}Hot games and feastin'|Yeah I {27149}{27212}Christ on a cracker, boys. {27215}{27292}After all|these 140 odd years, {27295}{27399}sometimes, I think|we should just, {27402}{27495}burn the whole goddamn|North in one giant bonfire! {27498}{27600}Ah, but,|what's the style In that? {27603}{27644}One shot discharge- {27647}{27733}None, Captain my.|None at all. {27736}{27798}You're damn|right, Harper, {27801}{27888}besides, It goes|against tradition, {27891}{28024}and quite frankly,|Is about all we got left. {28115}{28161}The network|is gonna love this, {28164}{28212}a bunch|of redneck outsiders {28215}{28269}who thought the South won the Civil War. {28272}{28312}They didn't? {28315}{28360}No, Tina,|they didn't. {28363}{28420}Duh, that's right.|It was the Nazis. {28423}{28477}Anyway, while our|sister act pretties up... {28480}{28538}Jesus, you and Jerry {28541}{28636}go and do some scouting. See if you|can find some indigenous locations here. {28639}{28699}You do know what|"indigenous" means, right? {28702}{28804}Hey, VaI, why don't you, me and Bristol {28807}{28879}do some Interviews|with the hicks? {28882}{28940}You know, put|a face to the place. {28943}{29015}If you don't mind, I'd rather|go with Jesus and Cherry. {29018}{29060}What? You got a thing for this cholo? {29063}{29124}What's that? You want me|to give you a second briss? {29127}{29164}Chill out, Jay. {29167}{29216}Look, I'll|carry your shit, {29219}{29280}you just go show|her a good time. {29283}{29346}Make sure you save enough|sugar for Black Cherry. {29349}{29383}Cool? {29438}{29467}Cool {29470}{29511}Whatever. {29514}{29594}Come on, get over It,|Jerry. Come on, come on. {29597}{29676}If we nail this, the network|Is gonna be talking spin offs, {29679}{29749}pay per view|blue ray box set. {29752}{29829}If these fine folks of|Pleasant Valley play ball, {29832}{29928}this gig|will never end! {29973}{30029}I know I speak|for us all, sir, {30032}{30089}when I say I'm proud to|be among the chosen few {30092}{30176}here with you, In the chance|location of the troubles. {30179}{30260}Well, God|bless you Harper. {30263}{30363}You know, you're rigging' a goddamn|Mark Twain with you poetizing. {30366}{30470}You have earned your spot|on the bus. Ya'll did! {30473}{30504}Even Jezebel, too, Daddy? {30507}{30576}Yeah, Jezebel, too. {30579}{30663}Except she earned her spot in|the section called " Provisions"! {30666}{30712}You don't mean|you're gonna harm- {30715}{30804}I mean that stuffed|piece of lamb is gonna be {30807}{30868}on my dining room table|next to some mint jelly {30871}{30916}and a good bottle|of Muscatel {30919}{31007}unless you boys go out there|and get me some Yonkers quick! {31010}{31075}Now skedaddle! {31078}{31158}And make me proud. {31161}{31240}Or something like it. {31364}{31423}So when's|your CD dropping? {31426}{31463}End of summer. {31466}{31535}Excuse me, your CD?|What happened to our CD? {31538}{31594}We can't do everything|together Romy, {31597}{31665}besides, it's music,|not a basketball team. {31668}{31727}Yeah, the label wants me to record, too. {31730}{31763}EM O meets|death metal. {31766}{31818}Ha! Ballads|with balls. {32074}{32130}Yo, yo, yo.|Check out Abder, {32133}{32194}macking on my boy's|dill pickle. {32266}{32355}Dude, I ever tell you about the|time I totally fucked my baby sitter? {32358}{32431}Bro, I thought you said your|uncle was your baby sitter. {32434}{32494}Never mind. {32590}{32673}So what's a hottie like you|doing with a limp dick like Jerry? {32676}{32785}Ever hear of the dumb blond that slept|with the writer to get ahead in Hollywood? {32788}{32823}Guess that was me. {32826}{32896}Oh, baby, you're no dumb|blond, you're just misinformed. {32899}{33012}See, it's not the writers or directors|that get you ahead, it's the teamsters. {33015}{33056}You stick with me,|I'll hook you up. {33059}{33107}Yeah, I've never heard that one before. {33110}{33175}Bitch, I ain't|playing you. {33178}{33231}Oh, yeah? So who are you|gonna hook me up with? {33234}{33313}For one, a bunch of buddies got|this indie hard thing going on. {33316}{33371}See, horror has its hell|these days, you know? {33374}{33447}I would love to get|killed in a horror flick. {33450}{33501}I bet you would and I|bet you'd look good, too {33504}{33601}all naked and covered|in blood and shit. {33680}{33704}Damn. {33707}{33768}Yo, ladies. {33771}{33823}It seems like|a job for a homie. {33826}{33907}Oh, Yankee|suckee dickee? {33910}{33947}I said "homie, "|not "homo. " {33950}{33987}Give me|that thing. {33990}{34063}Now that a gentleman|has eased our burden {34066}{34127}we can finally|commence to practice. {34130}{34214}Uh, excuse me ladies, but we were|in the middle of a conversation here. {34217}{34273}Madre de Dios. {34327}{34401}Uh, Jesus,|remember me? {34404}{34494}Bristol, horror movies,|covered In blood? {34497}{34548}Naked? {34551}{34587}Ugh. {34590}{34659}Madre de Dios.|Definitely more tongue. {34662}{34725}Are you getting this?|You are perfect, Granny. {34728}{34778}Sure you got|a tight shot? {34781}{34822}Yeah, I got it. {34825}{34869}Let's start|shooting, come on. {34872}{34926}Am I good?|My rouge looks good? {34929}{34966}You're beautiful. {34969}{35072}I want you to really-|Okay, and action I {35075}{35136}Our native|American friends- {35139}{35190}All right. Cut. Cut I {35193}{35228}Excuse me, but- {35231}{35307}I'll excuse me,|but I'm the director {35310}{35373}and I'm the one|who calls "Cut. " {35376}{35455}I write|the checks, okay? {35458}{35537}All right, the|structures aren't working. {35540}{35621}Let me think. Granny,|profile. Give me a profile. {35624}{35655}I got two. {35658}{35716}Other profile.|Face this way. {35719}{35799}All right, just|go with it. Action! {35802}{35902}Our native American friends|taught us the many uses of maize. {35905}{36007}You can boil it,|you can pop it, {36010}{36076}and ladies, trust me, {36079}{36145}with a little pig butter- {36148}{36271}this corn cob makes one|hell of a nighttime buddy. {37666}{37770}Lookie-Loo, Jezzle,|a fallen soldlerette. {37818}{37893}Sniff her out, girl,|check her vitals. {37953}{37995}Yo, get that beast|away from her. {37998}{38058}That beast is my|lady friend, senor. {38061}{38128}And If you are habia|Ingles you'd understand {38131}{38191}she's telling you to|go call on M r. Harper. {38194}{38259}M r. Harper? {38262}{38362}Alexander Harper, honey. He our|veterinarian, he fix chicken and such. {38365}{38415}Oh, he does people, too. {38418}{38498}I want some, so pig|knuckle on the Chinaman. {38712}{38735}Hey I {38738}{38790}Yo, you mind? {38793}{38845}The name's|Hucklebilly, dumb ass. {38906}{38938}And I don't mind at all. {38941}{38996}You like what|you see, little man? {38999}{39070}My, my, my,|the South is rising. {39073}{39131}Dang! It must've|gotten stung by a bee. {39134}{39170}I'm all swelled up|down there. {39173}{39214}Don't you have|some cotton to pick? {39217}{39254}Some shit to shovel? {39257}{39324}My chores are done.|It's playtime now. {39409}{39448}Why are you|stampeding me? {39451}{39510}Get your paws off me|you damned dirty yanks. {39513}{39558}We'll give you|a lesson, H ucklefuck. {39561}{39612}Hucklebilly,|ass clown. {39615}{39706}The way things look down there you|two might wanna get yourself stung. {39709}{39750}Party poopers! {39949}{40018}Hello? {40077}{40133}Yo, anybody here? {40173}{40241}Looks like the little lady|can use my help, Santiago. {40244}{40300}It's "Jesus. " {40303}{40404}And no shit, Sherlock, she had|an accident, she bumped her head. {40407}{40478}Give me that iron.|The one on the table. {40481}{40530}You know,|If you like son, {40533}{40616}I can also help you with|that speech Impediment. {40619}{40663}Yo, Dracula,|it's called an accent. {40709}{40761}The good doctor|needs his quiet, dude, {40764}{40826}I suggest|you join the others. {40829}{40869}Go on, boy, go on. {40872}{40945}I must make sure you fix her good,|I don't want nobody suing me. {40948}{41018}No need to worry,|we'll bring her round. {41021}{41071}When she's done. {41074}{41150}Whatever, ojete.|Knock yourselves out. {41153}{41218}Oh, you can|crack corn on that. {41221}{41274}Agh I {41369}{41421}The secret|to Southern home cooking {41424}{41507}is you never ever tenderize|without loving your blade. {41510}{41571}I love you. {41574}{41638}Treat your meat|as you would an old friend. {41641}{41710}Ha! Come on in. Agh! {41713}{41768}Or an enemy. {41809}{41854}Or your friends and enemies! {41857}{41915}Agh! {41977}{42031}Agh! Agh! {42093}{42140}It's dinner time! {42143}{42238}It's dinner time Come|eat your goddamn. {42241}{42286}It's time {42289}{42370}What you doing|now, Rufus? {42373}{42443}I'm making myself|a Jesus chicken. {42446}{42490}Oh, Christ. {42493}{42521}Cut. {42524}{42618}Clamp. Clamp. {42621}{42729}Wrist clamp.|Wrist clamp. {42732}{42771}Pig's snout. {42774}{42856}Plg's snout. {42921}{42982}What the fuck|Is going on here? {42985}{43055}Well, you got|yourself a boo-boo. {43058}{43164}When our livestock gets a boo-boo|we take 'em back and shoot 'em. {43167}{43223}Please let me go, please. {43226}{43298}You don't have to worry none,|honey. We ain't gonna shoot ya. {43301}{43349}That would be|way too boring. {43352}{43383}Ah! {43386}{43440}Ah, just what|the doctor ordered. {43443}{43498}No, please. I'm a good|girI, I'll do anything. {43501}{43614}This little piggy went to market.|And this little plggy's stayed home. {43617}{43700}And this little piggy|went whoo whoo whoo. {43703}{43785}La, la, la.|All the way home! {44726}{44764}Guess who? {44767}{44839}You know what Granny told you|about coming in here like this. {44841}{44914}Aw, the heck|with her, Jemima! {44916}{45014}My passion for you|is stronger than candy. {45016}{45073}It's hotter|than corn bread. {45076}{45133}It's sweeter|than watermelon. {45136}{45209}H m. Remember the first time|you crept into my stable, {45212}{45264}told me how things|were gonna be, {45266}{45308}I'd be|your tar baby, {45311}{45364}I'd do|whatever you like, {45366}{45469}no matter how dirty, or nasty|or forbidden it might be? {45472}{45549}I am your|lord and master. {45552}{45668}Are you really? Are|you really in charge? {45670}{45727}Uh, {45729}{45782}Are you really? Are|you really in charge? {45784}{45819}I think so. {45821}{45881}I'm gonna lick|you clean, Master. {45964}{46012}Ah, Jemlma. {46035}{46072}Oh! {46074}{46148}Goddammit, Buckman! You|romancing my griddle cakes again? {46150}{46195}No, Granny!|No. No. {46198}{46343}You're just thinking about your darker|nature, is what you're thinking about. {46346}{46400}Go on! {46402}{46525}Oh, you race trader,|you chocolate dipping- {46527}{46575}Guess who? {46578}{46650}Oh, fudge dripping. {46653}{46684}H mmm. {46686}{46746}Black ebony! {46749}{46835}Do you even know|Who you are? {46838}{46903}Facebook Superstar {47088}{47145}This is|a very expensive, {47147}{47190}very uninsured camera {47192}{47241}that my uncle Sal|got me for Passover. {47243}{47343}And if it's fucked,|I'm suing somebody's ass. {47346}{47410}Probably yours,|I'm just saying. {47413}{47453}And I'm saying,|that old hag {47455}{47535}was chopping those chickens like|she was Jeffrey freaking Dahmer, {47538}{47598}so fuck your camera! I|ain't filming these people. {47600}{47676}At least these people are not|afraid of a little hard work. {47678}{47718}Kiss my black ass, Val. {47720}{47770}Bend over, honey,|and I will. {47773}{47862}Hey, Bossman, why don't you let|me work the lens, I got experience. {47865}{47914}Last time|you worked the lens, {47916}{47975}it cost my Daddy half a|mill to buy back the video. {47978}{48011}It made|you famous. {48014}{48072}No shit, I got my|little bro through juvie. {48074}{48125}Ah, look who's here, {48127}{48167}so, Jesus,|where's Bristol? {48170}{48228}Oh, she's with the|doc, PM S or some shit. {48230}{48286}It's cool,|he's got a tent. {48288}{48390}So let me get this straight.|You left Bristol with some, uh, {48392}{48500}some white trash doctor and|it's 'cause he's got a tent! {48502}{48562}Yeah, I thought you people|were with doctors. {48565}{48634}You let them suck the shit out|of your fat asses, don't you? {48636}{48698}That's it!|I can't work this way, {48701}{48754}I mean, It's bad enough|I don't get per diem, {48757}{48830}now I gotta take insults from|Speedy Gonzalez over here! {48832}{48942}I'm finding Bristol|and I'm outta here. {48944}{49015}You walk, you're in breach.|Then it's your ass getting sued. {49018}{49063}Good point. {49066}{49130}Chill out, Schindler.|I'll go get your girl. {49132}{49180}Oh, no you don't.|Sit down. {49182}{49275}You can go. Next scene|up Is Rome and Tina solo. {49278}{49330}H m. Hot. {49333}{49410}Walt. You think|two girls Is hot? {49412}{49459}Totally. {49462}{49512}All sushi|and no hot dog? {49514}{49566}Sure. {49569}{49651}No blunt objects, nothing|you can poke en eye out with? {49654}{49750}I think two|girls is hot. {49787}{49827}What? {49830}{49862}Fuck. {49999}{50097}A shy Southern belle {50203}{50272}A proud,|Confederate gentleman {50345}{50409}Now they're|Lost in hell {50487}{50547}This love once heaven {50709}{50757}Ugh. {50760}{50819}There are|some desires {50821}{50908}that even death cannot remove,|wouldn't you agree, Buckman? {50910}{50973}Oh, yeah, like revenge. {50976}{51056}I'm not talking|about killing'. {51109}{51201}I'm talking about loving'. {51287}{51389}Because that's always the|thirst before the slaughter {51391}{51453}that gets|the temperature risin'. {51456}{51489}Oh, yeah. {51491}{51562}Well, thank God we got|that lovely Milk Maiden. {51565}{51636}Screw our lovely|Milk Maiden! {51638}{51705}And I'm sure you are,|you son of a bitch! {51807}{51859}Hey, Granny,|what's cooking'? {51901}{51933}Huck? {51936}{51972}Buck. {51974}{52019}Fuck. {52021}{52075}That's what|I'm trying to do! {52112}{52141}Ugh. {52208}{52292}It's stroke left,|then right, {52294}{52339}and you might|wanna blow In her rear. {52341}{52401}That really gets|Jezzie's juices flowing. {52403}{52457}No way, same|with my baby. {52459}{52517}Yes, ma'am.|You know it. {52520}{52565}It gets them wet. {52568}{52629}Like a bog|or a bayou. {52631}{52765}Hey, how about next, you let Jezebel|give Biscuit a little pony ride? {52767}{52846}Yeah I hear sawdust and|sawdust Is a real turn on. {52849}{52909}What kind of doggie|biscuit is this? {52911}{52941}Put him|down, now. {52943}{52983}It's a him?|How can you tell? {52985}{53009}Now! {53012}{53061}Falcon, do something. {53063}{53132}Hey, be gentle|with that, okay? {53134}{53211}I can be gentle. {53213}{53296}God dang|sodomites. {53625}{53679}Doo, doo, doo. {53865}{53901}Hm. {53950}{53988}Hm. {54032}{54078}Hm. {54081}{54128}Ugh! {54198}{54244}Now this right|here is unholy. {54321}{54364}I'm too sober|for this shit. {54366}{54417}You think Miss|Bossman will miss us? {54419}{54528}Oh, Miss Bossman's too|lost to worry about us. {54701}{54745}Hm-hm. {54785}{54821}Hm. {54972}{55043}I wonder what type of J|these freaks are smoking. {55045}{55101}They stay in character|like this all day? {55103}{55195}10 to 1 It's|as fine as mine. {55197}{55257}Parati. Parami. {55308}{55354}Come on, baby,|let me fuego. {55418}{55481}Yo, where'd|everybody go? {55483}{55521}Where's the party at? {55524}{55590}Soldier blue. {55681}{55777}Soldier Blue? What the|fuck's a Soldier Blue? {55825}{55897}Pearl? I'll give you|a pearl necklace. {55899}{56061}Soldier blue. {56063}{56131}Oh! Here's where|the party's at. {56213}{56272}Hello? Ladies? {56274}{56352}Oh, you girls wanna|play hide and seek? {56354}{56419}K- Jay loves|hide and seek. {56625}{56686}blue. {56688}{56763}Want to slip|Into something more- {56765}{56813}Comfortable? {58215}{58258}Why are we|doing this again? {58260}{58355}Look, I told you|it's representational. {58357}{58436}The epic struggle between|the North and the South. {58439}{58513}Brother against brother,|sister against sister. {58516}{58554}Good against evil! {58556}{58600}Just take her top off. {58603}{58682}I'm too fucking stoned|to undo all this shit. {58684}{58742}Take them off.|Shut up. {58744}{58825}I need to get out|of this place. {58828}{58882}I do too, baby,|we just got here. {58884}{58972}Did you blow your nose on me? You|got some fucking mocos In there? {58974}{59011}No, shut up. {59013}{59044}Green-nosed goblins. {59093}{59167}I feel like I'm back In the|sweatshop In Tegucigalpa. {59169}{59247}She's totally a Lesbian|and won't fucking admit It. {59249}{59317}My name is VaI|and I am a Lesbian. {59356}{59431}Will you please reprogram|me with your Mexican wiener? {59472}{59548}Take off|my bandanna, baby. {59550}{59586}Uh? {59588}{59703}Are you ready to put on our|fucking Confederate clothing? {59705}{59754}To join|these assholes? {59791}{59829}Did you|hear something? {59832}{59880}I did.|What was that? {60260}{60327}Now we get down|to business, Soldier Blue. {60329}{60388}Five dollar,|I make you holler. {60391}{60475}Whatever you like|I do for you. {60477}{60517}How about 20|for plenty? {60520}{60562}Okay. {60593}{60635}Oh. {60637}{60734}So glad you could join us for your|complimentary old time photograph. {60736}{60786}You're gonna take|pictures of this shit? {60788}{60889}We like to capture the true|essence of our "jamboree. " {60892}{60973}Hey, I'm down.|Just keep it off the net. {60976}{61012}Uh-uh-uh. {61015}{61079}Don't you move, boy.|We need you sitting' still. {61081}{61140}Lest they come|out blurry. Ooh! {61143}{61264}Fuck me like you're gonna|get your green card, baby. {61267}{61328}Emancipate me, baby.|Emancipate me! {61330}{61421}Faster, you Mexican|jumping bean! {61543}{61645}Darn ya', Oprah, you grunt|louder than a churchyard chicken. {61706}{61767}Well, nice and tight,|Miss Scarlet. {61770}{61840}N ice and tight|and hard and firm. {61843}{61882}Exactly how I like it. {61884}{61962}Oh I I'll bet you do, son.|I'll bet you do. {61964}{62029}Well, Granny, {62031}{62099}it looks like our honored|guest is ready for his closeup. {62102}{62181}Walt, dude, I don't wanna|have my picture taken anymore. {62183}{62245}Want has nothing to|do with it, M r. K-Jay. {62247}{62319}That's right, boy.|I am sure, {62321}{62442}that these fine Southern gentlemen|didn't want their portraits taken neither. {62444}{62527}I am sure that they did|not want to be in this war, {62529}{62589}and I am|especially sure {62591}{62647}that they did not want|their family and houses {62650}{62718}burnt to the ground|by you Northern heathens {62721}{62810}Whoa! " Northern heathen?"|Dude, I'm from Burbank. {62812}{62876}That's where|the devil lives. {62878}{62950}Bye-bye. {63030}{63073}Say cheese! {63075}{63102}Oh I {63379}{63412}Good boy I {63559}{63618}Smoking I {63689}{63732}Oh! {63734}{63760}Puker! {64028}{64068}Dang It, Granny. {64071}{64128}He didn't smile. {64131}{64175}Oh, well. {64349}{64451}Yankee Doodle went to town|To bone himself a hottie {64454}{64489}Amen, brother. {64492}{64538}Stuck his feather|I n her cooch {64541}{64575}like fresh baked manicotti {64578}{64607}Hell, yeah. Fresh baked. {64610}{64639}What's your name? {64642}{64708}It's Hucklebilly, dumb ass.|What's my name? {64711}{64766}H ucklebilly, dumb ass. {64810}{64870}Typical I I'm out there,|sweating my ass off, {64873}{64918}and the two of you|are sitting here, {64921}{65017}getting this mentally|ill child stoned. {65020}{65060}Shut the fuck up, retard! {65063}{65140}It's Hucklebilly, Mister. {65180}{65260}I promise, I'll|just film It, no web. {65263}{65350}So anyone know whether|Jackass ever found Bristol? {65353}{65400}Hate to bring|It to you, Moses, {65403}{65493}he's probably off plowing|Bristol in some corn field by now. {65496}{65571}Excuse me, that's Rome's|boyfriend you're talking about. {65574}{65613}Yeah, man, don't be a hater. {65616}{65683}Suck my salty|Salvadorlan sack. {65686}{65780}You'd probably like that. You|little twisted reality show wannabe. {65783}{65829}Enough I Look, Jesus, {65832}{65924}unless you want to crash the unemployment|line like the rest of your family, {65927}{66004}I suggest you get|this tin can moving! {66007}{66064}As soon as we get what we|want from these rednecks {66067}{66136}we'll get the hell out of|this fucking two-bit shit hole! {66170}{66198}Come on! {66201}{66239}All right.|I hear you, boss. {66242}{66279}I can scam|one of them tires {66282}{66337}off that old school bus|those freaks got {66340}{66385}Whatever It takes. {66388}{66493}I wouldn't advise|that, my friends. {66496}{66529}Some folks|around here {66532}{66635}just might be inclined to|define that as stealing. {66638}{66675}Stealing is|a sin. {66678}{66775}I wasn't gonna|steal nothing, abuellta. {66778}{66837}I said "borrow. " {67284}{67368}I guess borrowing is okay.|That ain't stealing. {67371}{67436}Maybe we can help|you out with the tire. {67439}{67485}But first- {67563}{67640}Yee-haw I {67921}{67996}I'll tell ya', Granny,|that display of majesty {67999}{68043}makes this Colonel|weak in the knees {68046}{68081}and full|in the groin. {68084}{68120}Ugh! {68123}{68196}Bucky, I ain't|begging no more. {68199}{68299}It's time you discharge your|musket, Confederate style. {68302}{68367}Madam, lead me|to my execution. {68370}{68428}Yee-haw I {68431}{68481}You'd better be getting all this. {68484}{68523}This is money|in the bank. {68526}{68577}Solid gold. {68580}{68669}Oh!|Buck-man. Buck-man. {68726}{68865}Buck-man. Buck-man. {68868}{68927}Candy apples. {68930}{68989}Buck. Buck. Buck. {68992}{69018}Candy apples? {69021}{69084}Yee-haw! {69087}{69137}How do you like|these candy apples? {69140}{69190}Them ain't real.|Theme's plastic. {69193}{69271}Probably got|worms in it, too. {69274}{69339}My mighty sword!|My mighty sword! {69342}{69410}My mighty sword I {69413}{69527}Crow! Crow! Crow! {69530}{69555}Crow? {69619}{69648}Crow? {69651}{69689}Buck? {69692}{69754}Oh, {69757}{69793}too much dark meat,|bitch! {69796}{69840}Ah! {69933}{70002}Now, for our|next demonstration, {70005}{70059}we're gonna need|another volunteer. {70062}{70106}Oh, oh, oh I {70109}{70141}Ugh. {70144}{70206}You boy, with the smiling|eyes, you'll do fine. {70235}{70260}Yes! {70263}{70297}M mighty fine. {70300}{70367}Come on up|now, boy. {70370}{70452}I ain't got|eternity. Come on. {70455}{70508}Don't mind|the darkness none. {70511}{70573}You ain't never heard|Helen Keller complain. {70576}{70641}Turn around now, boy.|Step on right up on here. {70644}{70706}Come one. Show everybody|your pretty face. {70709}{70766}Now you see him? {70769}{70794}Uh- {70826}{70879}Now you don't! {71071}{71175}So, should I keep|the blindfold on, or- {71445}{71487}Uh, hello? {71563}{71606}Hello? {71609}{71660}So weird. {71663}{71744}Ah, okay. {71747}{71814}Hello? {71817}{71890}Hello. Is anybody here? {72227}{72256}Howdie ho there, boy. {72259}{72297}What the fuck?|It hurts. {72300}{72384}What kind of man are you, you|can't handle a little arm wrestle? {72387}{72484}Shit, Rufus. I knew|you were different. {72487}{72542}I knew you|were different. {72545}{72600}You see right through me, don't you? {72603}{72656}Right through|your heart. {72659}{72700}My heart? {72703}{72789}Yeah, you know, all my life|I've kept my heart in the closet. {72792}{72905}Lately though, my ass keeps poking out. {73011}{73078}Whoa! I ain't|queer like that! {73081}{73144}But that don't mean you gotta stop. {73251}{73296}I don't know. {73299}{73373}Maybe you're right. {73376}{73452}Listen, this is the|wrong time, wrong place. {73455}{73499}I'm dead! {73502}{73551}Ain't that the truth. {73623}{73665}Ugh. Agh! {73746}{73779}Agh! {74486}{74552}Revenge is sweet When|you're munching On the meat {74555}{74616}Of a Yankee|Whose doodle is so dandy {74618}{74660}We don't like to boast {74663}{74700}But we make a tasty roast {74703}{74764}With grilling|We're really pretty handy {74767}{74880}'Cause we're cannibals|Cannibals, yes it's true {74918}{75033}And there's just no way|That you will survive {75036}{75097}We're cannibals {75100}{75209}Cannibals, yes it's true {75211}{75323}And you know we're gonna|Eat you dead or alive {75325}{75354}Hit it! {75976}{76007}Ah! {76094}{76143}Ew. {76145}{76202}I clean up pretty|good, don't I? {76204}{76294}Without further undue,|I would like to introduce {76296}{76411}one mean ass mother fucker|butt kicking son of a bitch. {76413}{76457}Yeah! {76459}{76533}Buckman!|Yeah! {76535}{76606}Go, go,|Buckman, go! {76608}{76654}Go, go,|hl, Buckman I {76656}{76761}Good evening, one and all! I hope|you're enjoying the show so far. {76763}{76809}Can I get a Yee-haw? {76811}{76860}Yee-haw I {76863}{76930}I wanna tell you, tonight|we got a show for you {76932}{77027}you ain't never gonna forget or|my name ain't George W. Buckman. {77029}{77103}I know you've been worried|about where your compatriots were {77106}{77175}well, we were too, until we|found them In the medical tent, {77177}{77220}playing doctor!|Right, boys? {77271}{77369}But seriously folks, they're all|back stage with your young M r. Falcon {77371}{77474}undergoing an extreme makeover|for tonight's grand finale! {77476}{77547}But first, It gives me|great pleasure to Introduce {77549}{77621}Pleasant Valley's|very own Rhett Butler, {77623}{77697}M r. Harper Alexander! {77855}{77938}Ladies and gentlemen, please|enjoy with me as we recreate {77940}{78016}not only one of our favorite|moments of the annals of history {78019}{78106}but also one of the great|spectator sports, as well. {78108}{78168}Any volunteers? {78217}{78304}You, sir. You want to|win 50, 000 dollars? {78307}{78385}Did you say|50, 000 dollars? {78387}{78451}I sure did. 50, 000|Confederate. {78453}{78522}Well, In that case- {78683}{78723}How you doing'|tonight, Abraham? {78726}{78759}It's Jerry. {78761}{78808}You sure look like|an Abraham to me. {78811}{78859}Why don't you|just take your seat? {78944}{79020}Now tonight, the role|of Miss Mary Lincoln {79023}{79082}will be played by Miss|Married Milk Malden, {79084}{79212}and good ol' honest Abe, well,|that'll be you, D. W. Griffith. {79215}{79279}Go ahead, please. {79281}{79391}You're 9 Inches away from|starring In my next movie. {79442}{79520}Feels more|like 3 to me. {79613}{79706}Now, the game Is|If I miss, you lose. {79708}{79767}Uh, I'm not too|sure about this. {79770}{79794}Ready? {79796}{79826}Oh, come on, time out! {79828}{79873}Aim. {79911}{79942}Hold on, time out. {79944}{79987}Walt, wait, wait. {79990}{80023}Wait. Time out! {80026}{80048}Time out! {80107}{80136}Yeah I {80194}{80223}Yeah! {80225}{80304}Yay I {80721}{80758}Aside from that,|Mrs. Lincoln, {80760}{80798}did you enjoy|the show? {80800}{80840}Fuck this shit. {80843}{80860}Ah I {80991}{81063}Now, now, now that|you're all a little groggy {81065}{81142}the fresh air otta|take care of that. {81144}{81218}We're all here and we're|gonna play a little game, {81220}{81322}a little game we call the|Revlsltatlon of the troubles. {81436}{81498}April 22, 1864, {81500}{81569}we were living our lives,|minding our own business, {81571}{81614}when the Yankee man came. {81616}{81710}When you came! killed us all,|destroyed our way of life. {81713}{81765}Hell, we weren't|ready back then, {81767}{81822}but this time we are. {81825}{81896}War's over, jefe, you fucking|lost, move the fuck on! {81898}{81986}Well, that's precisely|what we aim to do, {81989}{82062}muchacho, precisely. {82065}{82134}You're telling me you're|with these crackers? {82136}{82196}I was with these|crackers when your kind {82198}{82258}came condemning us all|to the same fate. {82260}{82322}"My kind?" What the fuck's|wrong with you, brother? {82325}{82414}I'm not your bother.|I'm Southern bred. {82416}{82487}And you,|Miss Gutter Mouth, {82490}{82551}you'd be Northern scum. {82554}{82586}Now, now, Crow. {82589}{82646}Remember we're trying|not the use the " N" word. {82649}{82698}You're right|on that one. {82754}{82794}That's right I {82796}{82910}Now let's see here, from here to|the road it's a couple of miles, {82912}{82972}same distance we had to|flee from Pleasant Valley, {82974}{83037}now, there's no sport In|shooting fish In a barrel. {83039}{83099}so we hide some guns|and ammo along the way. {83102}{83198}Now, If ya'll can go out there and|find them and put up a good flight {83200}{83254}why, you're|free to go. {83256}{83314}Oh, that is bloody bullocks! {83317}{83355}If you don't|let us go now, {83358}{83448}I'll have my lawyer slaughter|you before you can say spectrum. {83450}{83503}I mean It,|mother fickler {83540}{83592}Spectrum? {83594}{83624}I'm not kidding I {83626}{83677}Neither are we, Miss. {83679}{83748}In case you have|any doubt, Miss Maiden. {83750}{83812}Hm. {84189}{84264}K- Jay? {84266}{84313}Ma-ma-ma-ma. {84461}{84504}Falcon {84506}{84559}Bastards! {84562}{84687}Presentation. Well,|let the games begin I {84798}{84901}Pum, pum, pum. {84982}{85022}Gimme that I {85088}{85119}Gimme that! {85645}{85787}Building from|the ground up {85790}{85860}Starting nowhere {85922}{86012}Did you see what they did to|K- Jay, Biscuit? They killed him. {86014}{86068}They fucking|killed Falcon, too. {86070}{86138}We were gonna present at the|Teen Dream Awards together. {86140}{86195}You were? {86198}{86274}Well, they put us|I n our {86276}{86354}Crying over spilled blood is|not gonna get us outta here, {86356}{86420}we gotta find those guns|and cap those mother fuckers. {86422}{86509}You're right. You and|Cherry head for the RV. {86511}{86590}Fix that damn tire, I'll grab|the girls and find those weapons. {86592}{86641}What are you gonna|do if you find them? {86643}{86721}I know my way around weapons. My|mother used to be a prison guard. {86723}{86778}That explains a lot. {86955}{87089}Oh I My bunions|are killing me {87091}{87190}If I was one of those psychos|where would I hide those weapons? {87192}{87261}Kinda like|an Easter egg hunt. {87263}{87314}Huh? {87316}{87392}Yes. {87456}{87567}How old is this piece of shit?|It's fucking rusted together! {87570}{87651}Whatever. I'm gonna smoke|and laugh about all this. {87654}{87693}Are you fucking|crazy, negra? {87695}{87764}Those rednecks think this is|the Civil War or something. {87766}{87816}I always knew the South|was loco, but damn I {87818}{87845}Shit! {87847}{87889}Are you okay? {87891}{87989}Fuck finding a tire. I say we ditch|those bitches and save ourselves. {87991}{88029}Let's go. {88094}{88137}The Kosher way|to do this is what? {88139}{88206}You gotta cut the throat|and let the blood draln. {88209}{88256}This Jew boy ain't|got no throat no more. {88258}{88316}Well, then, cut|his balls off, I guess. {88318}{88354}Yeah, I guess. {88494}{88580}Speaking of balls, I've been|meanlng to mentlon somethlng to you. {88582}{88618}I just don't get you. {88620}{88647}What? {88650}{88698}You know.|Your taste. {88700}{88741}Explain me this, brother. {88743}{88828}You, brother, spend your time on|some soft girlie girI like JezebeI. {88830}{88911}Gosslplng, shopplng|and settln' up house. {88914}{88986}I, on the other hand,|like to hang a reaI man, {88989}{89068}practicing,|soldiering, {89070}{89124}and wrestling.|And my taste? {89126}{89215}You tell me, brother, who's really|on the side of the Lord here? {89382}{89434}You gotta be fucking|with me. This easy? {89509}{89542}I guess not.|No ammo. {89545}{89574}You're kidding me. {89577}{89646}Fuck this cracker,|VaI, let's go. {89649}{89734}Since our lives|are seriously at stake, {89737}{89786}there's something|I have to ask you. {89788}{89816}Go ahead, babe. {89818}{89864}If they find us|dead here {89866}{89954}our bodies naked on display|for the whole world to see- {89956}{89994}You mean like|in your video? {89997}{90055}I'm being|serious, Tina. {90058}{90104}Fine. Spill It. {90106}{90179}All right. I'm just|gonna come out and say it. {90182}{90230}Do my thighs|look fat? {90232}{90282}Oh, my God I|Rome, a gun I {90284}{90318}You think It's real? {90321}{90377}Ah I Tittles {90379}{90408}Ugh! {90410}{90454}Looks real. {90533}{90583}Fuck, we're going'|around in circles. {90586}{90631}I don't get it, Jay. {90634}{90670}That's it.|Let's split up. {90673}{90710}I don't wanna|split up. M m-hm. {90712}{90745}Look- {90747}{90836}If one of us gets away|we're both saved, right? {90838}{90905}You know I'll|come back with help. {90907}{90936}I guess|you're right. {90938}{90990}Of course|I'm right, baby. {90993}{91037}You go that way,|I'll go this way, {91039}{91078}one of us is gonna|find the road. {91080}{91122}Okay, but be safe. {91124}{91173}You know I will. {91175}{91260}What about a gun?|Don't I need one, too? {91262}{91334}Well, at least|we found a gun. {91336}{91378}Should I say|thank you for that? {91381}{91426}It was an accident,|Val. God I {91428}{91505}Do you always have to rag|on us, we have feelings, too. {91507}{91596}Yeah, like we didn't feel bad|when the avalanche hit New Orleans. {91598}{91673}Okey-dokey,|now. One. {91675}{91722}Oh, no, you|girls despise me. {91725}{91782}Why can't you see me|like I see you? {91784}{91811}Three {91814}{91842}Oops. {91844}{91881}Agh! {91884}{91930}Ah I {91933}{91971}Oh my God! {91974}{92141}You stupid little fake tittied,|no talented, trust fund sluts! {92143}{92201}Just fuck off! {92251}{92313}But you stepped on Biscuit! {92315}{92364}Can I make|myself any clearer? {92366}{92405}Just go! {92408}{92477}Just wait 'till the network|hears about this {92479}{92527}Yeah, we would never|fuck you anyway. {92529}{92554}Yeah! {92557}{92597}Ugh! {92869}{92922}Yoo-hoo. {93549}{93609}Uh, uh, uh. {93611}{93642}What the fuck? {93718}{93769}Looking for|the Underground Railroad? {93836}{93889}Hey, Granny. {93960}{94057}Do you think the Mayor would mind if|we kept that beaner boy to ourselves? {94060}{94139}I don't know, sweetie. I'd rather|kill him than fuck him any day. {94141}{94204}Sh, sh, sh. {94206}{94236}Do you|hear something? {94238}{94265}No. {94268}{94352}Rock a-bye baby,|On the tree top {94354}{94447}When the wind blows {94449}{94538}The cradle will rock {94582}{94695}When the bough breaks|The cradle will fall {94697}{94796}And down will come baby {94798}{94867}Cradle and all I {94938}{95049}I always knew|those little cunts {95051}{95125}would be the end of me. {95253}{95304}Biscuit's really|dead meat, huh? {95306}{95362}Yes, sweetie.|She really is. {95365}{95411}We're dead meat,|too, aren't we? {95413}{95477}No, Romy, we're gonna be okay. Trust me. {95480}{95577}That's what you said the time|we got crabs tag teaming K-Jay. {95652}{95698}Whoopsle-dalsy I {95701}{95739}Oh. {95741}{95803}I thought the Mayor|said killing Mexicans {95805}{95851}didn't count|towards the total. {95853}{95893}No, they don't deary. {95895}{95969}They ain't North, they|ain't South, they just ain't. {96019}{96101}But there's nothing wrong|with a little sport killing. {96103}{96172}So long as it puts|food on the table. {96278}{96348}It must've|been a squirrel. {96350}{96405}Come on along, now. {96539}{96585}Peekaboo. {96588}{96673}Ah! {96758}{96822}Can't you Northern folks|do nothing right? {96880}{96936}Tonight at dinner,|yet again, {96938}{97034}caught Granny picking|a little too tenderly {97037}{97101}on a dark part|of her brisket. {97104}{97175}Got anything|to say about that, boy? {97177}{97225}Ugh! {97227}{97281}I ain't|nobody's boy. {97284}{97329}Not even yours. {97358}{97404}Maybe so, Crow. {97406}{97507}Would it be too hard just|to, uh, stick to your chores? {97509}{97537}Ah! {97539}{97640}I do stick|to my chores, {97642}{97691}as much as I find|them distasteful, {97693}{97789}And which one of you are too|tired from ploughing the fields, {97792}{97837}or splitting|the wood, {97839}{97900}you can't|deny that. {97902}{97984}Tell me, Is there one amongst ya', {97986}{98037}one, amongst ya' {98040}{98112}willing to hit it when|there's blood on the conch? {98172}{98216}Well, I know|how to plow. {98218}{98280}and I know|how to split, {98282}{98358}but you sure have some|very satisfied bitches {98360}{98448}in your Pleasant Valley,|thank you very much. {98548}{98594}Man's got a point. {98707}{98790}Shoot, Daddy, I think I|made the rope too long. {98792}{98848}You stupid ass|white mother fuckers {98850}{98924}you just wait until Al Sharpton|gets a wind of this shit. {98926}{98967}I'll own everything|in this albino circus. {98969}{99072}including that fake ass, dumb|ass, stuffed mother fucking sheep? {99074}{99143}Yeah? When|pigs fly. {99145}{99176}And the fat|lady sings. {99178}{99248}And there's a black|man in the White House. {99311}{99379}Where the fuck have you|mother fuckers been at? {99381}{99406}Down South! {99556}{99594}Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. {99596}{99645}Fools them every time! {99705}{99760}Yee-haw! {100041}{100112}Relax. {100115}{100244}Everything's gonna|be just fine. {100246}{100352}There's nobody here|but us ladles. {100420}{100492}Please help me.|Please, help me. Please. {100494}{100559}You gotta|help me, please. {100561}{100630}Folks like my kin, {100632}{100733}they can't fathom|the modern woman. {100763}{100864}They wanna keep us|all caged up. {100867}{100959}Cage our bodies, {100961}{101052}our passions- {101218}{101264}That's right, momma! {101266}{101302}Oh, no, no. {101304}{101349}I hear there's|a cherry in the center. {101352}{101416}Ah! {101465}{101517}Ugh! {101736}{101845}H m. Cider red, always|makes my pink wet. {102192}{102241}Oh, my God, Tina. {102244}{102320}We're back|to where we started. {102476}{102535}Please, just|go away! {102675}{102720}Ah! {103174}{103219}Spread the red. {103556}{103589}I'm cold. {103592}{103659}Get the bus, Let's take it outta here. {103661}{103721}You try to start it,|I'll stand guard. {103724}{103768}Okay. {103770}{103814}Jesuz! {103816}{103884}It's "Jesus", bitch. {103886}{103941}Agh! {104011}{104058}Why Isn't It working? {104060}{104136}Shut up, babe. Got some shit under here. {104138}{104168}Try the key! {104171}{104200}Like this? {104266}{104290}Anything? {104292}{104336}Nope. Nada. {104339}{104388}I am I doing|this right? {104390}{104439}Can't you hot|wire this thing? {104441}{104508}Yo, bitch, I went to|film school, not prison. {104558}{104591}Uh-oh. {104593}{104636}Oh, shit. {104826}{104876}Do you think|they're mad at us? {105041}{105083}We offered|the entertainment, {105086}{105195}sport, a chance to redeem|some sense of honor, {105198}{105287}for the atrocities|committed by their ancestors. {105290}{105359}And they play along|by running away. {105362}{105404}Oh, you wanna play? {105407}{105449}Fuck, I'll play! {105451}{105484}Gentleman to gentleman? {105487}{105535}Yeah, If that's|what you call yourself. {105538}{105615}Bring it on! {105651}{105708}Charge! {105752}{105824}Go on, Tinal Go|Make It start I {105873}{105908}Go {105911}{105943}I can't {106081}{106132}Tina, come on {106135}{106198}Come on {106200}{106233}Oh, start {106288}{106325}Come on! {106363}{106423}Do your best|Colonel Cracker. {106425}{106492}Yeah.|Come on. {106603}{106633}Oh, my God! {106807}{106858}Get off me! {106911}{106967}Just wait {107027}{107067}Fuck {107070}{107116}Hurry {107119}{107215}I was gonna let you go, seeing your|kind don't count towards the total. {107218}{107261}Brown or white,|you're a yank to me. {107263}{107298}Ugh {107351}{107377}Ah! {107379}{107411}Go! {107414}{107479}Go engine, go|Go, start {107481}{107558}Agh! {107560}{107619}Brown or white beats|your one-eyed freak show. {107622}{107672}Ah {107675}{107726}Oh, now we're playing. {107728}{107761}Ah! {107825}{107889}Yankee scum! Ah! {107926}{107964}Go, Tina, go! {107967}{108018}Go {108020}{108095}Walt, Romy, It's|Jesus, he'll save us {108098}{108130}Can you fix it? {108181}{108221}Go ahead,|try It now. {108223}{108290}Come on, come on I Start I {108292}{108327}Start I Why won't you start? {108330}{108367}It's turning {108405}{108472}Come on, Jesus.|Get on the bus {108475}{108512}Go Go {108515}{108575}Puta, what the fuck|are you welting for? {108577}{108664}Hey, Two-Eyes.|Suck my Dixie. {108699}{108729}Agh! {108799}{108847}Whoo-whee! {108975}{109056}shall rest 'til|all obey. {109109}{109153}Don't turn it off,|you stupid bitch! {109155}{109207}But it just|killed Jesus! {109209}{109265}Let's finish this. {109431}{109462}Oh! Ah! {109503}{109541}Fuck {109697}{109744}Keys. Please. {109971}{110002}Fuck you. {110198}{110243}Turn It on {110246}{110284}Come here. {110287}{110320}Go! {110415}{110470}Ah! {110472}{110516}I'm going! {110591}{110619}Tina, go! {110621}{110665}Rome, I'm going!|I'm going! {110667}{110701}Ugh! {110703}{110746}Get us outta here! {110847}{110895}Just go. {111085}{111155}It's over, Romy.|It's over. {111926}{112005}I can't believe I've ever decided|to make this crap show with you! {112215}{112277}You're so fucking|annoying! You're so wrong! {112279}{112314}Fuck you, bitch! {112317}{112382}You know what? I killed|your fucking beloved Biscuit! {112385}{112437}Really? Well, I'm the one|who snorted your 8-ball. {112439}{112465}Fucking bitch {112467}{112495}Cunt! {112691}{112746}Damn Yankees. {112980}{113018}Now what,|Bucky? {113097}{113149}H m. Ah! {113219}{113300}Rufus, is this|contraption working? {113302}{113341}It's 12-4, Daddy. {113343}{113408}Howdy, folks!|George W. Buckman here, {113410}{113514}inviting you to come to the|Pleasant Valley Traveling Jamboree! {113517}{113548}We got it all folks, {113550}{113609}we got singin',|we got dancing', {113611}{113651}we got games, {113654}{113704}Uh, I'm not too|sure about this. {113706}{113796}But most of all we got some|real nice mouthwatering Barbecue. {113798}{113880}Does that mean we have to go|through this shit again next year? {113882}{113933}[Buckman] Don't forget|to bring the kids, {113935}{114015}especially the chubby ones,|portly always gets In for free. {114018}{114074}Just look for the detour|sign off the main road. {114077}{114182}We'll be welting. So come on down|and get a taste of the old South. {114184}{114302}And let the old South|get a taste of you. {115274}{115340}Come on, Granny,|keep pushing. {115342}{115372}Oh, oh, oh. {115374}{115404}Keep pushing. {115406}{115436}I am pushing, you morons. {115438}{115468}Breathel {115470}{115521}I think I see|something coming. {115523}{115569}Oh, oh, oh. {115571}{115600}Oh! {115602}{115677}Come on, Granny,|keep pushing. {115679}{115705}Ma-ma-ma. {115707}{115741}I see it's|here coming. {115906}{115947}Ugh. {116015}{116051}It's a- {116054}{116117}What is it? {116119}{116168}A negro? {116193}{116343}Please rate this subtitle at %url%|Help other users to choose the best subtitles 56704