All language subtitles for Fargo (2014) - S01E09 - A Fox, a Rabbit and a Cabbage (1080p BluRay x265 Silence)-eng

Erstwhile on Fargo...

- Mom home? - Yeah.

Let's eat. I'm starving.

FBI.

I called a couple times now

about the Fargo syndicate massacre.

I might know the fella responsible.

Jesus.

This is where you work now.

I have a commendation.

I give you insurance salesman of the year,

Lester Nygaard.

So proud of ya, Lester.

Oh, miss?

Can we have some more sparkling water?

And this is any animal:
pig, gopher, chicken.

They go long enough without sleep,

you start to see
abnormalities, behavior-wise.

First there's the inability to concentrate

and perform certain fine motor skills.

Then you start to see--

and the army did studies
on this in the '50s -

the effects of sleep deprivation
on the human brain.

I know 'cause a buddy of
mine's dad was a subject

back during the Korean conflict.

I mean, shit, Ray.

What's the longest you've
ever gone without sleep?

Five days for me.

This was back in dental school.

Marty Perlmutter stole a prescription pad,

wrote us all a scrip for amphetamines,

so we could cram for finals.

And boy, howdy, I tell ya,

after three days of no sleeping,

I was an animal.

All right, mi amigo.

That ought to do it.

I'm still a little worried
about the 203 and the 204,

so we should make an appointment
to get together again

in about six months.

Appreciate it, doc.

Really.

This black fella rolled over my foot

with a steam cleaner, and I tell ya,

this hurt worse than
that did by a long shot.

Yeah, nerve pain-- that's a bear.

Oh, uh, you want to avoid
nut brittles for a few days

and any kind of fruit with pits.

Jemma's got a pamphlet.

- All right. - Okay.

Yo.

Mick Mike.

We still on for golf next week?

Course we are, Burty Burt.

But more importantly, are you and Louise

still gonna make it on Sunday?

Do dogs smell each other's butts?

I think I might have observed

that type of behavior on occasion.

Well, we'll be there.

Weezy's making her famous five-bean dip.

Aces.

Here.

Oh, thanks, babe.

Oh, Mick Mike.

I just keep pinching myself.

Well, honey, you've earned it.

It's like my mama always said,

"Boys, if you like the milk,
buy the freakin' cow."

Oh, that's so sweet.

Well, I am gonna stick my whole
thumb up your ass later.

Aces.

Yello.

Now, darling, is this guy
bothering you or what?

Oh, you.

We are gonna tie one on tonight,
friend-o, I'm telling ya.

No time like the present.
That's what I always say.

Yeah. The bean dip?

You betcha.

Let's go, Burt.

Oh, you look great.

- You too. - Oh.

Ice wine.

Buddy of mine says they swear
by this stuff in Finland.

Well, they're a bunch of
sex-crazed alcoholics,

so they should know, right?

- Sweet. - Mm.

Weezy says, uh, you popped the question.

You gonna make Jemma an honest woman, huh?

Oh, yeah, I cried like a baby.

I'm not afraid to admit it.

Well, she's something else, that Jemma.

Just between us girls,

that body, is it... I mean...

What's she like in the sack?

Hellcat.

It's the only word for it.

Shit. Yeah.

Weezy's basically a Jew in the bedroom.

Oh, you mean she wears a wig,

makes you do it through a
hole in the sheet, yeah.

No. No, no.

She stopped putting it in her mouth

soon as the ring went on her finger.

Well, that's a national tragedy, Burt.

Amen.

Gotta tell you, Mick Mike,

I sure do like having you around.

Well, likewise, Burty Burt.

The office was dead dull
till you showed up.

Positively geriatric.

I'm a rascal.

There's no two ways about it.

Yes, sirree, Bob.

Like I told you before, you and my brother

would get along like gangbusters.

Well, I'd like to meet him.

Like I said, it's tricky--

He, uh...

- He's in witness protection. - Say what?

Said he's in witness protection.

Turned states evidence against
these mob guys out of Chicago.

Told him not to.

Now I haven't seen him in over a year.

He still calls, though.

Not supposed to, you know,

but you can't break up the Canton boys.

I'll betcha.

Aw, screw it.

What are you doing next weekend?

You tell me.

I like that. "You tell me."

Well, Weezy and me, we're headed for Vegas

to a little family reunion.

Why don't you and Jemma tag along?

Aces.

You did this to me.

I had a wife, a family.

I was happy, and then you started--

Started what?

All we did was talk.

No, that's not--

No, you said things, jumbled me up.

Told me I needed--

And now they're dead.

Why did I listen to you?

Why?

Tell my wife

I love her.

So I come in and sit down.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Michaelson." You
know, the whole drill...

Oh, honey, could we get
some more sparkling water?

Thank you.

I put my mask on.

Tawny hands me the number two needle.

I start to give the guy a novocaine shot.

Well, I stick the needle in my own finger.

And, yeah.

And it hurt,

but I didn't wanna look dumb,

so I try it again.

Next time I stick it in my thumb.

Now I'm so flustered that
I go to take my mask off.

But I'm still holding the needle,

jab it right in my face.

And the patient-- the patient is like,

"Uh, doc, what's wrong?" and I'm like...

I mean, it was insane.

You're a riot.

He's a riot.

Oh, you have no idea.

All right, so...

We are all set for tomorrow

to go see you-know-who.

Should be fun.

Real clandestine stuff.

Change cars twice. No phones.

Jeez, who did you say is
after this guy again?

Well, what are the odds?

Sorry?

It's me, Lester.

I'm sorry, sir, you must have
me confused with someone else.

Nope, Minnesota, last year.

The emergency room.

I didn't recognize you at first either,

'cause you got a whole new, uh--

But hey, so have I.

What do you think of the suit?

Bill Blass. Check this out.

Salesman of the year.

Gave it to me on a stage and everything.

Uh, Mick Mike,

you gonna introduce us
to your friend there?

You know, I'd love to, Burt.

But unfortunately,

I've never met this man
before in my life, so...

What?

Right, yeah, we don't know each other.

Okay, honey, let's go.

We're never gonna make the show
if we don't get out of here.

Walk away.

Sorry, I must have--

- Congratulations on your award.
- Thank you.

Burt, did I ever tell you about the time

I made a night guard for Britney Spears?

- Really? - I swear.

Come on.

- He was a piece of work, huh?
- Who's that?

That--that guy in the bar.

You sure you don't know him?

No, no, people nab me all the time.

Just one of those faces, I guess. Yeah.

No.

You don't get to-- and
I'm sorry to interrupt,

but it's not right. When
something's not right,

well, the old Lester, now, he
would've just let it slide.

But not this guy.

I've worked too hard, I've come too far--

Lester, stop.

Oh, so now you do know me?

Honey?

Is this what you want?

Hey, Mick Mike, lighten up, huh?

Lester...

Is this what you want?

Yes or no?

Yes.

Oh, my god!

Oh, my--

That's on you.

I worked this guy for six months, Lester.

Six months.

Can you imagine the number of sewer mouths

I put my hands in?

The gallons of human spit?

Plus the $100,000 bounty
down the toilet, but, uh...

still, the look on his face
when I pulled the gun,

classic, huh?

Grab the fat guy's feet. We'll
throw him in a dumpster.

Shit, Lester.

See you later, Lester.

See you soon.

Oh, shit.

All right.

Okay, get dressed.

We gotta--

Lester, are you okay?

Get dressed. Get dressed.

Get dressed, get dressed. Come on.

Okay, go, go.

Wait a second.

All right, let's go.

Keep up, hon.

Keep up.

Lester, you're hurting my hand.

Sorry, sorry.

Okay, okay, come on.

A man has a fox, a rabbit, and a cabbage.

What man?

Any man. A man.

Colonel Sanders?

Could be. Could be George W. Bush.

Why would George W. Bush

have a fox and a rabbit and a cabbage?

Just listen.

A man has a fox, a rabbit, and a cabbage,

and he wants to get across the river,

but his boat can only carry
one of them at a time.

Get a bigger boat.

No, no, that's not an option.

And here's the problem.

If the man leaves the fox
and the rabbit alone,

the fox is gonna eat the rabbit,

and the same for the
rabbit and the cabbage.

So how does the man get
all three of his items

across the river without
losing any of them?

A turducken.

A what's that now?

He stuffs the cabbage in the rabbit

and the rabbit in the fox,

and he eats all of them.

That's not the answer.

It's an answer.

Hello.

Incoming or outgoing?

I, uh, need you to pull the syndicate file.

Why?

Is it like a clown car back there?

Why do you need the syndicate file?

Yeah, did something happen
with the case? A break?

No, just a phone call I gotta log.

- Phone call from who? - Yeah, who called?

It's really none of your business.

Deputy Solverson.

Solverson. What does he say?

Says he knows who did it.

Okay.

Where's Bemidji?

Thanks, dad.

I think I'd look cool with a limp.

Saw the profile of Bill in the paper.

Yeah.

For the record, I advised
against wearing a sword

in that picture.

Hon, can you pass the syrup?

Yeah, here you go.

Anyway, I'm in charge today

on account of Bill's on his way to St.
Paul now

for a-- what do you call it?

Law enforcement conference.

So watch your butts.

How's the route?

Can't complain.

You know, it takes me out by
the lake, it's a nice drive.

Dated the girl who delivered my mail once.

After her mother.

Convenient at first.

Awkward after, once we broke up.

Seeing her every day.

Ended up moving to a
different neighborhood.

So that's why we moved.

You know you could've just
had your mail sent to work.

Never thought of that.

So when's your last day?

- About a month. - She's nesting.

Ah, jeez, you know, you
buy one throw pillow.

Ah, we better--

Bye.

Bye, kids.

Hey, um, go fishing later?

You're the granddaughter I always wanted

but was afraid to buy online.

Bye.

You did good, hon.

Yeah, and you by proximity, huh?

Solverson.

Bill.

Yeah, no, he's in the Twin Cities for--

Ah, jeez.

Three people, huh?

Killed how?

In an elevator, huh?

You say one's a dentist?

Yeah, I'm--

What do Las Vegas police want me to--

Oh, sure. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I can go see their witness,

get a statement.

What's, uh--

What's the witness' name then?

Will you slow down?

You'd think we were being chased.

Sorry.

Was it me?

Did I do something?

What? No, I told you.

I made a lot of new contacts at the awards.

Big fish.

You have to strike while the iron's hot.

I know, but you woke me up
in the middle of the night.

Oh, I'll make it up to you. How's that?

Hey, we can take a trip.

Anywhere you wanna go.

Natalie says in Acapulco

you get to drink rum right
out of the coconut.

Acapulco it is.

In fact, um, why don't--

We should leave tonight.

- Really? - Sure, yeah, yeah.

I mean, why not? Little fun in the sun.

Drink from a coconut. We deserve it, huh?

What about work? Your big fish?

You only live once, right?

Ahem, let's just--we'll
go home, pack some stuff,

then head back to the airport.

Have our toes in the sand by dawn.

A real adventure.

Oh, Lester.

Okay.

Now here is what you're gonna do.

You're gonna go inside and
pack your best bikini,

and I'm gonna get changed
and head to the office.

I'm gonna buy the tickets,
get the passports,

and then we are gonna run away together.

Heck, we might never come back.

Ah, thanks, hon.

Here we go.

Truss the circle,

so whenever you go around,
you just keep going

even though you think you'll fail...

So I checked, and there's an
11:00 out of Minneapolis.

So we should be on the road by 6:00.

Okay.

I'll defrost that pea soup.

We can have that before we go.

Oh, yeah, sounds good.

Love you, hon.

Love you too.

Scared me there. Startled me.

Mr. Nygaard, Deputy Solverson.

- Maybe you remember. - Yeah, sure.

I'm sorry to bother you,

but we got a call from Las Vegas P.D.

What?

Las Vegas Police.

They said you were, um--

that you might be a witness to a murder.

Uh, three murders, actually.

Lester?

It's-- it's fine.

Go back to your show.

Is everything okay?

Oh, yes, ma'am. Just a routine inquiry.

Is now a good time to ask
you a few questions?

No.

I mean, I got an appointment,
I gotta get to work,

and Linda's got shopping, so--

Now, Lester, don't be rude.

We just got back from Las Vegas.

Can you tell me what this is about,

or is that classified?

Uh, well, yeah, actually--

Why don't-- I could come to
the station this afternoon

and give a statement.

Not that I, you know, saw anything.

Honestly, Lester, stay or go,

but I got a bladder the
size of a penny, so...

Oh, you poor thing. Please, come in.

Thank you. Thank you.

Hey, guys, is your dad around?

Yeah. Daddy!

Dad!

Help ya?

Oh, not sure.

I'm looking for Lester Nygaard.

Oh, yeah, we bought the
place from him in the fall.

Nice guy.

Yeah, that's Lester, all right.

Nicest guy you'll ever meet.

You got any idea how I can find him?

Uh, don't have a forwarding address.

He's got the shop over on Third, though.

Is that Bo Munk?

Nah, got his own place
now, with his name on it.

Oh, nice.

Like I said, over on third.
You can't miss it.

Okay, thanks.

One more thing.

You do know people were
murdered in this house, right?

Hell of a thing.

Man in the living room, shotgun.

Woman in the basement.

I think it was a hammering.

Afterwards, Lester told
me he used to hear noises

coming from the basement at night.

Footsteps on the stairs,

a woman moaning,

that kind of thing.

But I'm sure it was in his head.

You have a nice day. Have fun, kids.

I don't like him.

So you won an award?

That's right.

Salesman of the year.

Oh, uh, yeah, I--

It was a national competition, so...

then it was dinner with Buck Young,

who's the head of the whole
deal that gives the award.

That was some spread.

I think we closed that
place down, drinking.

And I said I'm still up for some fun,

and Linda said she wanted to go to bed.

I'm a morning person.

Yeah, but then I thought,

heck, how often does
something like this happen?

You know, winning an award?

So, yeah, a nightcap, you
know, just to celebrate.

I told him to go.

Oh, yeah, so sure. So I went to the bar.

And this is the bar at the hotel?

Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am. Excuse me.

Uh, the Royale, I guess it's called.

I ordered a drink.

Uh, had a chat with the
bartender for a bit.

Male or female?

Female. A woman.

But, you know, one drink and
I'm back upstairs to bed.

And what happened in the elevator?

Nothing.

I mean, it went up.

So everyone on the elevator
was alive when you got off?

Oh, yeah, they sure were.

They were laughing about something.

I don't-- Friday night in Vegas.

That is some place, I tell you.

Linda and me, we'd never been before.

What I love most are the fountains. Yeah.

Also you can gamble at the airport.

Great.

Well, I checked, and it looks like

you changed your flight at the last minute

to come back on the first flight.

So what was the reason there?

That was me.

My idea.

I just-- I got homesick, you know?

Woke Lester up in the middle of the night

and told him, did we have
to stay another day?

'cause I was ready to go home.

Yeah, that's right. That is right.

And I remember I said,

"Babe, the room is paid
for through till Sunday,"

But she was adamant.

I tend to get my way.

Oh, boy, does she.

Okay, then.

Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Nygaard.

- No problem. - Missus.

When's the due date?

Oh, I've got a few weeks still.

Listen, um, Vegas P.D. is gonna send over

some pictures from the
hotel security camera,

So don't leave town for a while.

I may have some more questions for you.

Oh, shoot. We were gonna go--

No, absolutely. Absolutely.

We'll be right here if you need us.

Car four, come back.

Car four, come back.

I'm coming.

Yeah, this is four.

Oh, hey, Molly, a couple of FBI fellas

came by the station looking for you.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, couldn't reach you on the radio.

Thought you'd be at your
dad's, so I sent them there.

To the diner?

Yeah, so you should
probably check in on them.

They seemed real eager to talk to you.

Okay, then, will do.

Coffee?

Yeah, decaf if you got it.

And a piece of pie.

I got apple and cherry.

No good ever came from
a piece of cherry pie.

Thanks, friend.

Local P.D.?

State cop. 18 years.

Yeah, you got the look.

I spent some time with the Tampa D.A.

Lawyer?

Yeah, something like that.

Say, you may be able to help me.

I will if I can.

I'm in town for not too much time,

just passing through, really.

But, uh, I wanted to look up

my old pal Lester Nygaard.

Oh, sure, I know Lester.

You go by his shop?

Oh, first thing.

But wouldn't you know it? They're closed.

Went by the house too,

except, uh, turns out he's moved.

No kidding.

So you can see my predicament.

You try calling him?

Yeah, I could do that, but I--

You know, I was kind of
hoping to surprise him.

That's a pickle.

Yep.

That your boy?

In a way.

My daughter's husband.

They look happy.

Of course no one hangs the sad pictures.

Am I right?

Mom crying and dad looking angry.

Kid with a black eye.

How long did you say you
worked for the Tampa D.A.?

Oh, I didn't say I worked there.

Spent some time is all.

But that's just me. I'm a traveler.

Big cities and small towns.

Open road.

Which is why I thought,

here we are in a-- what do you call it?

like, a tight-knit community.

So, uh...

Why don't I just ask?

So here I am,

asking you if you know where
I can find old Lester.

Had a case once,

back in '79.

I'd tell you the details,

but it'd sound like I made 'em up.

Madness, really.

Bodies?

Yes, sir.

One after another.

Probably,

if you stacked 'em high,

could've climbed to the second floor.

Now, I saw something that year

I ain't ever seen, before or since.

I'd call it animal.

Except animals only kill for food.

This was--

Sioux Falls.

Ever been?

Went to Sioux City once

back in my scandalous days.

But anyway, you didn't
answer my question there.

Well, I'll tell you what.

You, uh-- you leave me your number.

I'll make sure Lester gets
it next time he comes in.

Well, that's a solid offer, friend,

but like I said, I'm just passing through.

Thanks for the pie and the coffee.

Haven't had a piece of pie like that

since the Garden of Eden.

Heya, dad.

Heya, hon.

Everything okay?

Oh, yeah.

Sometimes you just get a weird one.

Well, I'm supposed to meet
a couple fellas from the--

Never mind. I see 'em.

Hi there. I'm--

- Deputy Solverson. - That's right.

I'm Agent Budge. This is Agent Pepper.

FBI from Fargo.

We went by the station.

They told us you would be here.

Am now.

Should we grab a table?

You made a phone call to
the field office yesterday

about the massacre last year.

Said you know who shot up
the syndicate building.

Called seven times according to the file.

Wouldn't take no for an answer.

I'm not clear on--

I mean, the FBI sent a fella already.

He looked at my evidence

and said it was circumstantial, so...

A worker bee.

Or what do the ants call 'em?

A drone. We're invested.

Got a personal stake is what my partner--

See, we were there on the
day at the syndicate.

Surveillance.

Day 156, logging the comings and goings.

Six months and nothing happens.

- Going crazy with-- - And then...

Yeah, so, you see, we're
invested personally,

like I said.

And when we heard you called--

That you have an answer.

So please, we have to know.

Who is he?

Dad, I think we're gonna
need some coffees to go.

My god.

You put all this together yourself?

Oh, no.

Gus helped me, my husband.

He used to be Duluth P.D.

He's a mailman now.

But you can see why I
think this is your guy.

Okay, I'm here.

Hey, chief, these fellas are--

Bill Oswalt. I'm the chief here.

Sorry I wasn't around to-- I
was at a conference, so--

And then Cindy called

and said there were two
agents from the FBI here--

Oh, no.

No, chief, listen--

No, no! No, I am so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Molly, these guys aren't interested in--

Let's meet in my office.

Have you seen this?

Have I seen this?

Son, this thing's been
giving me nightmares.

Oh, come on now, that's not fair.

Well, she did tell you
that we caught the guy

responsible for killing
the wife, didn't she?

Uh, you know, the brother Nygaard.

And he had the bloody hammer and--

So you don't care about the fact

that this Malvo character

was seen with Lester at the hospital?

or that he ended up in Duluth

in direct conflict with these other two?

No, because that--

Uh, what happened in Duluth--

I'm gonna call HQ and let them know

we'll be staying the night.

We can take another run at Lester tomorrow.

Is there a motel?

Um, yeah, sure, I can--
I'll get you directions.

This is tremendous work, deputy.

Impressive.

Yeah, I better just, um--

Come on.

Okay. All set.

Ready to go?

What? I thought we weren't gonna go.

Acapulco, here we come.

- Oh, my god. - Yeah, you betcha.

I talked to the deputy. She said, sure, go.

So now we just gotta swing by the office

and pick up the passports.

What about my coat?

Oh, you're not gonna need a winter coat

where we're going.

You know I had a crush on you

right from when we met.

Oh, yeah?

Swear to god.

Used to sit at my desk

and dream about you leaving your wife or

somehow getting her out of the picture.

Not that I wanted--

No, of course not. It's--

Nothing wrong with dreaming.

Oh, I agree, cinderella.

Yeah?

You know, I remember when I was three--

and I told you how we came over to America,

settled in Minnesota, and
my folks bought the motel?

Oh, yeah?

Well, they put me right to work.

Just laundry at first.

Then making the beds

and cleaning the rooms.

You don't even wanna know the
disarray people leave behind.

I bet.

One time-- I'll never forget this--

I was changing the sheets
on a king size, and I'm--

Suddenly I'm like, "What's that smell?"

Well, the guest had--

He made a B.M. between the
mattress and the box spring.

What?

I guess he took the mattress off

and did it

and then made the bed back up,

which, it's a lot simpler
just to go to the toilet.

My point being

that while I was cleaning up,

I had this dream that someone,

a man,

would come along and take
me away from all this.

And then I met you.

And here we are.

And we're going to Acapulco.

I thought we were going to the shop.

We are.

I just--you know how icy
it gets right out front.

Lester?

You know, I hate to do this,

but I kind of tweaked my back before,

getting the luggage out of the car.

Oh, you poor baby.

So do you think you could run in?

The passports are in the safe.

There's some cash in there too.

Can you-- will you do that for me?

Of course, hon.

Thanks.

Linda.

It's cold out there.

You're sweet.

Put your hood up, huh?

I'd hate for your pretty face to freeze.

Oh, my--