All language subtitles for The L Word (2004) S05E01 LGB Tease.en

Last season on The L Word.

I'm so into you, I can't handle it.

- Are you in?
- Yes.

What do you think we should do?

So you like girly girls, huh?

You're a fucking heartbreaker.

You're just dead fucking meat,
Jenny Schecter.

I'm sitting here with
Jenny's little fucking book,

wondering why you didn't
give me a heads-up.

Is it true that one of the characters
in this book is based on you?

- I don't like the story.
- I want it for Shaolin.

I love Lez Girls.

My agents are here. Tina, you should
go talk to them if you wanna do this.

- How's it going with Jenny?
- A little challenging.

- I can't talk right now.
- You what?

But I'll see you at the meeting
this afternoon.

- It's been canceled.
- Hello.

- We thought that...
- I was completely clueless?

I'm not cut out to live modestly.

I don't know what I would have done
if I hadn't met Catherine.

She's just trying to help me learn

- to stand on my own two feet.
- No, she's not.

We've been invited
to a poker game this evening.

I'm sure your friends will understand.

Making $150,000 together is great,
but where is your share?

100,000. I'm in the pink.

You lost your investment.

I have something I have to tell you.

I'm going through a transition.
I was born a girl.

I don't date freaks.

I wanna feel your body.

- I don't feel comfortable with that.
- I do.

- You're not going to get the...
- It's an irreversible decision, you know?

- I think I'm a lesbian, Bette.
- Oh.

I can't believe how wonderful this is.

Alice, we have to let her down easy.

- Nobody ever broke my heart before.
- No one has ever died of a broken heart.

You want to take all of our life together
and just throw it in the toilet?

Yes.

- I made that appointment.
- I know it's the right decision.

I love you.

You're fucking the nanny
behind my sister's back?

I would have fired Hazel
if he hadn't have ended it.

You would have fired Hazel?

Lying, low-down,
nanny-fucking motherfucker.

God damn you!

I'm your home now, okay?

I'm going back to Oregon this afternoon

- and I'm taking my son home with me.
- You can't do that.

I'm his father.

When I get too close to someone,
I push her away,

and I don't trust myself
to not do that to you.

- You were good.
- So were you.

The class I was going to take...

Maybe we should talk about
taking it together.

Can we all just get along? Oh, my God!

Do you think we should go on a date?

I wasn't going to fall for anybody
while I was back.

- Are you going somewhere?
- My unit's being mobilized back to Iraq.

You're much naughtier
than I thought you would be.

I've been plenty dirty.

I think I could fall in love with you.

- I love you so much.
- Did you just say that you loved me?

I miss you so much sometimes.

What are you going to do
to get her back, Bette?

Catherine, go fuck yourself.

They fired me from the movie.

It's just you and the pariah, Sounder.

Hey, where's Jenny?

I'm leaving in two weeks.

I still love you.

You'd better not break my heart.

Jim, please don't leave me
in the room with all of these.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Jesse, can I get you a drink?
Margarita? Strawberry dykequiri?

I'm... I'm not...

Oh, I actually see my boyfriend, Jim,
so I'm going to go. Excuse me.

- Wow, she is something.
- She is fucking hot.

- Do you think she could be...
- No, no, no. Too pretty, too feminine.

- I don't know, I'd be happy to...
- Taste the fruit?

Peel it, section it
and squeeze the juice with her.

- Get in line, sister.
- Please.

Oh, I'm sorry, baby.

As long as you share her with me.

We love the preschool art curriculum.

We want Angelica to grow up
surrounded by art.

We want art to be part
of her everyday experience.

I mean, essentially, our house is a gallery.

We have a collection
that we rotate weekly,

so that she can be acquainted
with as many artists as possible.

- How wonderful for Angelica.
- Yeah.

- Hello.
- Hi.

We had a nice time in playgroup,
didn't we, Angie?

Angie put together the
Cow Jumps Over the Moon puzzle.

Well, she loves puzzles.

We actually have a woman
in the moon puzzle

that was made especially for Angie
by the artist Julia Condon.

She's one of our favorite artists.

Isn't Auntie Julia
one of our favorite artists, sweet pea?

- Yeah, play. Yes, you're playing.
- That's wonderful.

Does one of you
have a deaf family member?

Oh, I...

We have a friend who's deaf,
and she just picked it up from her.

We think she has
an aptitude for languages.

- Yeah. She knows Frère Jacques by heart.
- Yeah.

I'm so sorry. It just slipped out.

Look, I think it works in our favor
that we're a lesbian family.

You know, I think we score
diversity points for that.

I just...

I don't think they're ready
for a divorced lesbian family.

- You know?
- Yeah.

Do you think it was all right

that I sort of let them think
that we're still together?

I think it was a little white lie
told for the greater good.

Oh, shit, they're here.

- Hi.
- Hey, girls.

Looks like we're on the same
preschool party circuit.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- How was your interview?
- Great.

- Fantastic.
- It was really great.

We think we stand a good chance.

First of all, Ed's a Christian
and I'm Muslim. Lucas is adopted.

He's half Jewish, a quarter Latino
and a quarter Chinese.

Wow. Well, I think we probably
have a pretty good shot.

Bi-racial daughter of lesbian moms.
There's got to be a niche somewhere.

And Rowena,

she loves that Jamal teaches
English as a second language.

- You spoke with Rowena?
- Yeah, we met her last summer

at Geffen's party.
She wants David on the board,

and she knows we're close with him.

She told us not to even bother
with the director of admissions.

Rowena makes all the decisions,
but I'm sure you know that.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Anyway, good luck, and good luck.

- Thanks.
- Bye, Lucas.

So, I finally reached
some secretary who was, like,

"Mrs. Peabody is abroad

"and doesn't want to be reached
unless it's a total emergency."

Didn't you say her daughter's in jail?

I said, "I know Mrs. Peabody's a broad,
and not a very classy one."

Hey, Phyllis, are you ready?
Can we do this?

Yeah. How's my makeup look?
I don't want to wear too much lipstick

and look like one of those lipstick lesbians.

- Yeah, no, you're a total stone butch.
- Stone butch.

- I'm studying the lingo.
- Well, good for you.

Whether you're a stone butch
or a lipstick lesbian,

you're looking pretty foxy, Phyllis.
All right, girls, good luck today.

- Thanks again.
- You got it.

Hey, whoa, where are you going?
You can't go yet.

No, no, no. I have to.
Paige found an apartment.

If I like it, we're going to sign the lease.

See you. I'll come visit you later,
though, Kit. I promise.

Great. Please, somebody tell me
she ain't going to go through this?

- It's the biggest disaster.
- What's a disaster?

Shane's moving in with Paige and her son.
They're signing the lease today.

- That's wonderful.
- When I see her and Paige together,

- I don't see Shane on fire.
- No?

But you can't tell a book by its cover.
I mean, look at me and Joyce.

Save that for the podcast.

- Okay.
- Okay. Max, are we ready?

Yeah. We are rolling.

Oh.

Hello. Welcome to Alice in Lesboland.
It's a bi-weekly podcast

for bisexual and sapphically-inclined ladies
and their friends,

and we're coming to you live
from The Planet

here in West Hollywood.

I'm Alice Pieszecki
and my guest today is Phyllis Kroll.

She's a beautiful and accomplished

senior vice chancellor
of California University,

and she's going to tell us today
about coming out

in, shall we say, mid-life.

How do you do? Helena Peabody.

I don't expect I'll be here very long.

We've been trying
to get a hold of my mother,

you see, otherwise,
I wouldn't be here at all.

You know, I'm sure that

as soon as we get in touch with her,
I'll be...

- That's my bunk.
- Oh. Oh, okay.

Yeah.

- Oh, but, Joyce. I have a new love.
- Right, your ladylove, Joyce.

Yeah, she's really wonderful.
We ha ve so much in common.

Yeah.

Opera, ballet, the arts, philosophy,
and the sex.

Oh, the sex is the best ever.

Well... Ever?

I mean, they say your coming-out affair
is usually the most unforgettable.

Oh, that was kindergarten, preschool
compared to what Joyce and I are doing.

The work I'm doing with Joyce is more
like a post-graduate thesis, you know.

But, listen, you were...

- I'm listening.
- You were sweet.

Sweet? I'm sweet?

- A little vanilla, a little vanilla.
- What? Ouch.

Vanilla? Really? Vanilla?

Vanilla sex, conventional sex.

What the culture regards
as standard or regular sex.

I know vanilla. I know what that means.

- So have you guys U-Hauled?
- U-Hauled?

Yeah, well, it's a lesbian ritual.
You date for a couple of weeks, maybe,

and then you rent a U-Haul
and you move in.

U-Hauled. That's a good one. U-Hauled...

So, 2G is definitely
the best unit in the complex.

It's closest to the pool.

Jared is going to be so excited
about the swimming pool.

It's cute here.

Well, we'll talk about it,
and let you know by the end of the day.

Okay, cool, but I can't hold it
any longer than that.

No, you don't have to. I have to take care
of a few little business things.

- Lisa Pantolini says to say hi.
- Oh, Lisa? Really.

Well, give her my best.
Tell her I say hi back.

Who's that?

She's a girl I used to know
way back when.

- I know Lacey, as well.
- Oh, yeah, Lacey, of course.

And I know Brandi Delaney. And Megan.

Brandi Delaney. Oh, I remember,
yeah, Brandi. And Megan, too, yeah.

- You've got a long history.
- No, it's not too long.

Lisa could not believe it when I told her
that you were moving in with someone.

How long have you two
been together for now?

- Not long at all.
- Five and a half months.

Well, she still talks about you
all the time, Shane.

I don't think she ever got over you.

She'll be okay, but I am sorry to hear that.

No, you're not.
All right, I gotta go pick up Jared.

- I'll see you later.
- Okay.

So, could you show me
where the garage is?

- Of course I can.
- Thank you.

- Yeah, it's just right over here.
- Yeah?

So, I'll bet the CU LGBT student union

is very thrilled that
their E.V.C. is in the club, huh?

- Have you paid them a visit?
- No, I'm actually a little embarrassed,

because I'm not sure
what the "T" stands for.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual... Tentative?

- Good one.
- Sorry, guys. I have to change the tape.

T is for trannies.

- Trannies?
- Yeah, like Max.

- Transgendered.
- Oh.

You know, people who have
changed their sexes

from male to female
or from female to male.

That's very interesting.

Have you actually had
the sex change operation?

Well, I did go to San Francisco
to get top surgery.

- Top surgery?
- That's where they get the top off.

- But I decided not to go through with it.
- Yeah, why?

- 'Cause you were so ready to do it.
- I thought a lot about it,

and it's a really personal decision,

and the fact is that
you can lose sensation in your nipples,

so I decided I don't want to risk that.

I mean, for some guys,
they don't feel themselves, like, fully male,

unless they can have
a male contoured chest

and be able to take their shirts off
and stuff, but for me,

I guess, in the end,

I decided that I felt enough of a guy as is,
without the surgery.

That is fascinating. I had no idea that...

I feel like we're getting a little
off topic here for OurChart.

- Why is it off-topic?
- Well, I mean, OurChart's for lesbians.

I thought OurChart was for everybody.
It's OurChart.

I mean, doesn't that suggest it's inclusive?

Well, sure, Max.

I mean, it's a little technical,
but, yeah, it's for everybody.

- Alice. It's your soldier girl.
- Tasha.

- Hi. Hi, how are you?
- Let me know if you need anything.

I miss you already.

Look, I can't really talk right now.
I just wanted to hear your voice.

So, how's it going?
Are you ready to ship out to Iraq?

Yeah, I'm ready.

- Williams.
- Look, I got to go.

- I love you.
- Yeah, me, too.

Say it.

I love you, too, baby.

- Okay, I'll call if I can.
- Bye.

Christina, right? Is that her name?

- Yeah. No call back.
- And you didn't get a letter?

- No.
- Are you sure?

- Hey, good morning.
- Morning.

Did anybody get a postcard from Jenny?

- Hell no.
- Jenny.

- I did.
- Where? China, I hope.

Playa del Carmen.
That's not nearly far enough away.

Speaking of Jenny, you guys, I gotta go.
I got a production meeting for Lez Girls.

- With Kate?
- Kate got fired.

- Really?
- William Hasley hated her movie.

- Who?
- This hedge fund billionaire

who's financing our next three projects.

He doesn't know anything
about the movie business.

He just flew in on his private jet,
and now Aaron is in full kiss-ass mode.

- I've got to go.
- That's the movie business for you.

Yeah, I hate it.

Are you sure you don't mind
watching Angie for me

while I get everything ready for Jodi?

Are you kidding me?
There's nothing I love better

than just hanging out with my little niece.

Besides, I'm the one responsible
for you not having a manny.

- So, when's Jodi coming back?
- Tomorrow night.

Have you heard from Angus?

I told him I didn't want to hear from him.

It's the only way I can do it.
You know, I need a clean break.

You know, Alice looks
a little upset over there.

Fuck. Alice really does not need
to go through this again.

Excuse me.

Oh, Mom, it's awesome.
We're right by the pool.

Great. I'm gonna call Shane
and tell her that you like it,

and then we can sign the lease.
I might even learn to cook.

Right.

And huge bathroom and master bedroom.

- Can I go swimming?
- After we move in.

Honey, come and have a look
at your bedroom.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Can I see my bedroom now?

There's no point, honey.
It's already been rented.

- Sorry, I'm late.
- It's my retreat,

where I can float
through the ocean of life, you could say.

- Monsieur, you have to tell Aaron...
- Jenny.

...about how you came up
with the manatee

while we were swimming
with your set of dolphins at Xel-Ha.

William, William,
please meet Tina Kennard.

She is the development
head here at Shaolin.

- Executive Vice President, actually.
- Good to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- Hi, Tina.

Hi, Jenny. You look great. Very tan.

- I loved that scene, by the way.
- Which one?

- The manatee scene.
- Oh, thanks.

But you know what I really love
is the scene at the party.

Jesse gets separated from her boyfriend,

and Nina walks up and totally hits on her.

- It's fantastic.
- Wonderful.

- Thank you.
- Nina hits on Jesse? Is that a new scene?

I rewrote the script while I was in Tulum,

and that's where I just ran into monsieur.

Everybody knows.
I have a very nice villa in Tulum.

The lovely Jenny was my guest there.

And while the lovely Jenny
was William's guest in Tulum,

she did a fantastic rewrite on Lez Girls,
and she did it on spec.

What was I going to do?
I was fired from my own movie.

Well, it's that kind of initiative
that is inspiring.

I can't wait for you to read this.
Tina, it's fantastic.

- How exciting.
- I think Jenny has a very special insight

into this world. A certain kind of vision.

That's the reason
that she's the only person

- who could possibly direct the picture.
- Directing? Lez Girls?

Oh, my God! Look who's here!
Oh, my goodness. Give him to me.

Look who I want you to meet.

Look!

What's this on his head?

- You asked me...
- This is mauve.

This is not orange.

I know, but the groomer ran out of orange,

- and so we thought we would match...
- No. No, no. I don't pay you to think.

Do I, Sounder? Do I pay her to think?
He hates you.

So take him back to the groomers now

and get orange ribbons,
so he can like you again.

- That's it.
- They don't have...

Some people have

- absolutely no aesthetic sense.
- Who is that?

Oh, that's Marissa, Jenny's assistant.

Since when does Jenny have an assistant?

- I mean, you hired them to help you.
- That's not help, that's sabotage.

- Wow.
- Really?

Oh, baby, believe me when I say, "Wow."

- After all the fabulous women you've had?
- They pale in comparison.

You can compare them if you want to
at your party tomorrow.

I'm nervous.
I mean, I've been to hundreds of parties.

I wine and dine billionaires
and Nobel laureates.

There will be a Nobel laureate
at your coming-out party.

To think that there are
all these wonderful women out there,

and you're so wonderful
to give me this wonderful party.

Have you thought about my proposition?

Oh, that the two of us
should U-Haul together?

U-Haul? Where did you pick that up?

- Well, I'm not a complete naif, you know.
- No, certainly not.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How'd it go?
- Well, she wouldn't even answer the door.

- She just maybe needs some time.
- Fuck it.

I just don't want Shay to find out.

Hey. You look nice.

- Thank you. Honey.
- How are you doing, missy?

No, it's black.

Oh, shit.

You know what? I'll see you tomorrow.

Bette, Bette, please, please.
I beg of you, wait here one minute.

One minute, no longer. Just one minute.

Get off the phone, bitch. Hang it up.

Bye.

- You look like a crepe.
- I missed you.

I want you to meet someone.
This is Bette.

- Bette, I want you to meet Jenny.
- Hello, Bette.

Hello, Jenny.

Oh, come on, you fuckers,
be friends, please?

We're neighbors.
We've known each other for a while.

I never thought that
Bette and I weren't friends.

We'll see. Okay?

Okay, Marissa.

I need you to pick up
my dry cleaning today,

and, oh, don't tell me that you missed
the same-day-delivery drop-off time,

because I need it back for 5:00 tonight,

'cause my fabulous dress
is in the dry cleaning.

Oh, yes. Oh, hang on. Not done.

I actually will need you... Just a second!

Will need you to pick me up
for the party this evening.

Oh. Well, I never said that
this was a five-day-a-week job.

Well, if you want to be my assistant
on Sunday, then you're...

- Oh. Hi.
- Hi.

Then you are going to
pick me up today, Saturday.

Great. Thank you so much. Bye.

- Hi, Tina.
- How are you?

I brought you some coffee and croissants.

Oh, I don't eat that.
It's, like, sugar, and, like, clogged arteries.

You know, it's just...

So, what's up?

'Cause mornings are
usually my time to write.

Actually, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

- Here. I read the script.
- Oh, good.

William loves it. That's why he green-lit it.
It was based on my rewrite.

I know. I think that's fantastic.

I'm glad you think that it's fantastic.

I do. I think you've come a long way.
I think you've really pulled it together.

- Thanks.
- And I have a few notes.

- You have some notes for me?
- Just a few.

I think I can help you with the transition
where Jesse is repulsed

by the thought of having sex with Karina...

If it were up to you,
I wouldn't be allowed on the set.

Jenny, I would have never
have banned you from the set.

Never, okay?

I mean, I've never been treated
so badly before.

- You treated me like a pariah.
- I never meant to.

I was just trying to get the movie made.

You were trying to get ahead
by using my creation.

- Jenny...
- Tina.

I have total respect and admiration
for the fact that Lez Girls is your creation,

okay? And I was just doing my job,
which is what I'm trying to do right now.

Can I have my script?

Thanks.

But I will never take any of your

sticky notes into account.

Okay, Jenny, I'm sorry.

I am so sorry
for everything that went down,

everything that happened,
everything with Kate, okay?

Everything... You just...

Look, we have to work together,
and you just have to know

that I sincerely want to help you

try to make the best movie
that you can make.

That was good. No, it was good.
I can see that you...

It took a lot to dredge up an apology,

and I can see all the time that it took,

but I still don't see
why I should take notes from...

- Sticky notes, too, from you.
- Because I'm your executive.

Exactly. You're an executive,
and I'm a writer,

and you don't understand
anything about writing,

or anything creative, for that matter, so...

Excuse me, Tina, but I actually
have to get back to work.

Fine.

Oh, God. I can't eat this.

I just can't eat...

Oh, God, you could kill someone with that.

Not that I would ever kill someone.
I'm totally, totally against killing.

Shit happens.

Look at that.
Can you give the turtle to Mama Bee?

- Mama Bee-bee.
- Mama Bumblebee.

Come on, sweetie,
I'll take you to the potty.

- I've got you.
- To nappies?

Yeah, and then time for nappies.
And then time for nappies.

I'll be right back out.
I'm going to put her down.

No, I don't want to go to sleep.

No, you don't want to go to sleep?
What do you want to do?

I gotta go potty.

You're going to go potty?
Do you have to go potty?

So, how come you didn't tell me
that Kate got fired?

I don't know.

I guess because you hate
the movie business so much.

Well, there's a lot to hate,
but I hope it didn't

mess anything up between the two of you.

There's nothing to mess up.

- I think she's back in New York.
- So, you and she never hooked up?

- I don't think I want to answer that.
- You didn't, did you?

- So, what are you doing for sex?
- What?

Well, I mean, if the thing
with Kate didn't work out,

and I know it's been a long time...
So, are you seeing anyone?

- You want to know if I'm getting laid?
- Is that off-limits, too?

Yeah, it is.

You know, it's not like
I didn't go for months at a time

without having sex
when we were together.

I've got to go. I have to go visit Helena.

Ouch.

Tee, you gotta stop saying
there's no beautiful women.

- I see them everywhere I go.
- Hi.

Shane, beautiful women, they see you.
They don't see me.

Oh, bullshit, Tina.

You do need to stop hanging out
with Bette so much, though.

Yeah, especially since Jodi's coming back.

Just, please, do not go back to men,
whatever you do.

Look, you guys,
I'm interested in women, okay?

It's just hard to find someone after Bette.

Forget about Bette.
Really, it is easy. I did it.

I have. It's just that she set the bar.

You don't need to go to a bar.
We can go wherever you want.

We can expand it.
Will you still be here when I...

All right, sugar.

Yeah, we'll be your wingmen,
your little, gay wingmen.

Great.

Hey. Are you okay?

You actually look amazingly beautiful.

- Have you heard from Mother?
- I've put in a few calls.

Like 350.

Listen, we're trying to
come up with the bail.

It's just... It's a lot of money.

I don't understand
why your bail is set so high.

I mean, it's not like
you murdered Catherine.

I would've murdered her,
given half the chance.

She's a flight risk.
She has no ties to the community,

- her family's loaded, it's...
- And you stole an awful lot of money.

I didn't steal it. I was entitled to it.

Okay. Totally. Nobody's disputing that.

Well, except maybe the DA.

Ask her.

Helena.

What did you do with the money?

Because I think if you tell them
where you put the money,

they would drop the charges.

So, are they treating you well in here?

- Is it at least humane?
- Well, I'm sure the sheets are polyester.

There are no sheets, Alice.

And the food here tastes like shit.

You know, my cellmate is, like,
this massive homicidal psychopath,

who probably is going to kill me
in my sleep.

Okay, just sit tight, all right?
'Cause we're going to get you out.

- How?
- We don't know yet,

but I can promise you this,
before we figure it out,

we're gonna come here
and visit you as much as we can.

- Every day.
- Okay? You have to promise us

- that you're going to keep it safe here.
- Okay. How? How do I do that?

You lay low.

No, she doesn't.
She needs to stand up for herself.

She needs to let everybody
in here know she's not afraid.

- Oh, really? I'm so sure.
- Yeah.

No, she should stick to herself
and stay out of all the drama.

You guys, she gets a family,
and she gets herself a daddy.

Are you fucking kidding me?
No, she shouldn't.

Are you joking?
No, she should stay out of all that shit.

- Stick to herself. That's it.
- She's an alpha female.

- She's British.
- Okay, whatever.

Just don't drop the soap.
You know what I'm saying?

- Don't drop the soap.
- Don't drop the soap.

I wouldn't, no.

To Phyllis.

American soldiers suffered
a deadly attack today

in a rebel strike
on a southern military base.

Nineteen soldiers were killed,
and more than...

All right, I know you don't want to,
but we've got to rally for Phyllis' party

and get ourselves in the mood, pumpkin.

I'm not in the mood.

Look, I bet she didn't call,

because she wanted
to make it easier on you.

They shipped out
at 0900 o'clock this morning,

and she said she would call me
before they shipped out.

Yeah, but I'm sure she has a good reason.
I don't think Tasha's a flake.

Come on. Come on, come on, come on.

- You going to get me drunk?
- Yeah.

By the way,

I heard you handled
the board of directors brilliantly.

Oh, she manhandled them.

- So, you heard about that?
- Oh, it was legendary, Phyllis.

You were the talk of the UP conference.

- No way.
- I told you, Phyllis,

the lesbians of academia
are all celebrating

the advent of your landing among them.

We've had you on our radar

since long before old Joycie here
got her mitts all over you.

Hey, back off. Old Joycie got in there first.

Oh, baby.

- What about her? What?
- No.

- Are you looking where I'm looking?
- I've got two eyes, Alice.

- I'm looking, and I say no.
- What about her?

- Not Bette.
- What?

- Not Bette.
- I'm not looking at Bette.

I was... I'm looking. Yeah.

- So you see her?
- Where?

Well, she's kind of got dark brown hair,
kind of a hot schoolteacher.

- Oh, that one.
- She's cute.

- She's a bit...
- Serious?

Yeah, flatlining, but she's cute.

She's probably a Pulitzer Prize-winning
scientist or something.

- Oh, and that's bad?
- So what? You're smart.

- I know I'm smart.
- Good.

I... Maybe we don't
have anything in common.

Have you talked to her? Do you know her?

I can just tell.

- I don't think so, Tina. I don't know.
- All right, all right.

- What?
- Sit tight.

- No.
- What?

Okay, so I need you to come over
first thing tomorrow morning,

and what I want you to do is
create a rainbow in my office.

- A rainbow?
- Essentially, I need

a rainbow-colored hue of files,

because I want
each one of my main characters

to be part of the rainbow, and it
needs to be organized categorically...

Okay, I can't come over
tomorrow morning first thing,

- but I promise you I'll...
- Why?

Do you have something
more important to do?

- Yeah. I'm going to church.
- Go in the afternoon, silly.

They don't have afternoon service
in the Episcopal Church.

- Hey, sugar.
- Hey. But... Wait!

- Hi. How are you doing?
- Hi, you.

I got to go help Tina with something.
I'll be right back.

- Why Tina?
- Be nice. Who's that?

- Marissa, my assistant.
- She's cute. I'll be right back.

Okay, so I'll see you
at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow.

- I won't be there.
- Why?

Because I fucking quit.

Well, you've...

You have missed the opportunity
of a lifetime, Marissa.

Hi, hot stuff. Nice party.

- How are you doing, Shane?
- I'm good.

Shane, meet the ladies.

This is Camilla Goldoni,
visiting us from Lucca,

and she's a recipient
of the Rockefeller grant.

- A very prestigious award.
- She knows that, honey.

- This is my buddy Samantha.
- Hey, Shane.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

Megan Swisher.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

And Andrea Jills.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

She's talking to her. She's talking to her.

I'm sure you get this all the time,
so this isn't really original,

but you really do have beautiful eyes.
It's true.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- You have beautiful eyes, too.
- Thank you.

So, what's your story, Shane?

I don't really have one,
but see that blonde over there?

That's my friend, Tina,

and I think she would
really like to meet you.

But I'm meeting you right now.

Yes, you are.

Well, great.

You didn't have anything in common.

Pumpkin, I want to take care
of some business.

Why don't you get to know Cami
a little better?

Don't bother with these two.
They're not worth it.

I'm just kidding.

- Hi. Cami. Is it Camilla?
- Hi.

- Camilla.
- Yes.

Hey, T, hey, I'm sorry.
She has a girlfriend. It's a no-go.

You are such a liar.

- I'm not lying. It's what she told me.
- Oh, my God.

- I hate being single, you guys.
- Being single's not so bad.

- Oh, to the left.
- I just want to know one thing.

Why did you ask me and Jared
to move in with you?

- All right, let's talk about this outside.
- No, no.

I just want you to answer me.

All right, I asked you and Jared
to move in with me

because I thought it would be good for us.

Good for us?

You mean like eating
all your green vegetables?

Why did you tell Jared
that Shay was coming back?

Paige, I never said
Shay was gonna come back.

I said to him that I wanted him to,
and that was my plan,

but I never, ever promised Jared that.

And that we would all just be
one big happy family, huh?

Is that what you told him?
Is that what she told you?

Me? We didn't talk a lot.

We're going to go. Yeah.

Look, you know what? It doesn't matter.

I know you have a problem.
I know it's who you are,

and I can't expect you
to change overnight.

- I can actually live with it.
- You shouldn't have to live with it.

It's just sex.

Paige, it's... I know it's sex,

but you deserve someone
who wants to be with you

and who only loves you and you alone.

- And you don't love me?
- No, I do love you.

But you're not in love with me.

Talk to her first or something...

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Hi, Jenny.
- Hi, Tina. Wow, they're so in love.

- How was your cruise?
- Fine, thank you, Alice.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

- Welcome back.
- Thank you.

- Hi.
- How are you?

- Good.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Jodi, good to see you.
- Thank God you're here!

I need your advice. I need your advice.

Oh, God. Joyce is over there.

She's writing a big fat check for this party.

- You did a very good job.
- Yeah, yeah.

Hi, sweetie!

Don't worry about it. She can afford it.
Kit's probably giving her a break.

She's in love with me
and she wants to U-Haul.

- Told you.
- But I've had an epiphany.

I realize that what I'm doing with Joyce

is exactly what I did
with Leonard 25 years ago.

Just because the first person
asks you to settle down

doesn't mean
you have to settle down with them.

I mean, it's ridiculous
to think about that, right?

You think, like, you don't have a choice?
That it's just not in your power

to decide who you want to be with,
just because...

Bird in the hand, two in the bush.

Anyway, all these women are flirting
with me, I'm flirting back.

And I'll tell you what,
I'm having a grand time.

I don't want to settle down.
Know what I mean?

- I don't.
- Play the field.

- Go crazy.
- I don't know

what the hell I'm going to tell Joyce.
Where is she?

Oh, shit. She's coming right now.

Yeah.

- My lady.
- Mr. Wischnia.

- If it isn't the pillow princess.
- You are our sloppy seconds, right?

You're clever.

Well, what do you say, folks, huh?
To Phyllis.

- All right, cheers.
- To Phyllis.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Your loft.
- Oh.

Wow.

I've never had a tablecloth before.

Very fancy.

The table is too plain for you?

No, no. I just thought you would like it.

Yes, yes. It's very nice.
It's very sweet of you. Thank you.

But it's my space.

So, you don't like it?

Well, I didn't feel like
I was being a control freak.

It felt like I was trying
to do something nice for you.

Fuck.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

I'm going to take control of you.

- Oh, really?
- Yes.

Hey. That's stupid. I can't see you.

- How am I supposed to communicate?
- Hey.

Stop.

- Excuse me, miss?
- Yeah?

- Is this your business?
- Yeah, it is.

Any unhappy customers?
A disgruntled employee?

No, no, I don't think so.

The spread of the fire
indicates multiple paths of origin,

and from the color of the smoke,

it looks like the accelerant
used was gasoline.

- What does all that mean?
- It means this was probably arson.

Any idea who might have
done such a thing?

- No. No, I don't.
- You don't have any enemies?

Anybody that's maybe a little upset
with you for some reason or another?

No.

So, I take it you don't
want to file a report?

No, I don't want to file a report.

...a car bomb killed 15Iraqi civilians today

in a busy market in central Baghdad,
close to a popular cafe.

The bomb, in a four-wheel-drive vehicle,

went off near a gas station
close to Al Haria Square,

in the predominantly
Shiite Karrada district

on the eastern side of the Tigris River.

The explosion wounded at least 22
and left surrounding cars...

- Who is it?
- Alice, open the door.

Tasha?

What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?

What are you doing here? Hi.

Hi.

- Are you okay?
- Yes.

- Are you hurt?
- No.

Are you in trouble?

What are you doing home?
Oh, my soldier's home.

- What are you doing home?
- Stop asking so many questions.

Wait, are you AWOL?
Did you do something crazy?

- Huh?
- I miss you.

- You miss me?
- Yes. I miss you.

I missed you, too.

- I was worried about you.
- Are you?

Come here.