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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:03,873 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,092 - I'’D RATHER DIE IN PRISON THAN CALL JENNA. 3 00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:06,658 - GONNA GIVE YOU HIS BROTHER'’S NUMBER. 4 00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:07,703 HE'’LL KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION. 5 00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:08,704 - I WENT TO JENNA. - AND? 6 00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:09,705 - SHE SAID SHE COULDN'’T HELP. 7 00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:10,967 - ONE AMAZING NEW BOYFRIEND 8 00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:13,013 MINUS ZERO LINGERING FEELINGS FOR MATTY 9 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,666 EQUALS ME READY TO START A NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE. 10 00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:16,103 - WHAT ABOUT A CONJUGAL VISIT? 11 00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,544 - A WISE MAN ONCE SAID, "THE DEVIL'’S IN THE DETAILS." 12 00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:24,154 WELL, I'’D SPENT THE FIRST HALF OF SENIOR YEAR 13 00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:26,156 PERFECTING MY DEETS. 14 00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,419 I'’D IMPROVED MY GPA, BEEFED UP MY RESUME, 15 00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:30,204 AND WRITTEN A DYNAMIC PERSONAL STATEMENT 16 00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:32,771 FOR MY COMMON COLLEGE APP, WHICH WAS DUE BY MIDNIGHT. 17 00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,686 I WAS RIDING HIGH ON CONFIDENCE, 18 00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:36,471 ABOUT TO SEND MY LIFE IN A WHOLE NEW DIRECTION. 19 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,734 - HEY, I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOUR ESSAY. 20 00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:41,911 YOU SHOULD PICK A COOL FONT OR A COLOR THAT POPS. 21 00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:44,044 IT'’LL REALLY MAKE YOUR APPLICATION STAND OUT. 22 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,828 - HMM, THANKS, MOM. 23 00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,830 THAT SOUNDS, UH, DESPERATE. 24 00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,266 BUT DON'’T WORRY. 25 00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:50,746 I ALREADY ASKED LUKE TO LOOK OVER MY ESSAY, 26 00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:52,443 AND HE WENT THROUGH THIS TWO YEARS AGO, 27 00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:53,879 SO HE'’LL DEFINITELY KNOW IF IT'’S GOOD ENOUGH OR NOT. 28 00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:58,319 - SO YOU GONNA ACCEPT MY OFFER OR KEEP PLAYING HARD TO GET? 29 00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:00,886 - YOUR DAD ASKED ME TO FRIEND HIM. 30 00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:02,410 - SOCIAL NETWORKING, DAD? 31 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,586 SO IT'’S NOT JUST SOME STUPID FAD ANYMORE? 32 00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:06,414 - I'’M GOING ALL IN NOW. 33 00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:07,980 I MEAN, HOW COOL IS IT THAT WHEN YOU'’RE AWAY AT COLLEGE, 34 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,939 I'’LL STILL BE ABLE TO FOLLOW EVERYTHING YOU'’RE DOING? 35 00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:12,463 [cell phone chimes] 36 00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,987 DON'’T FORGET TO FRIEND ME. 37 00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,119 - MY DAD JUST FRIENDED ME. 38 00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:17,686 - THAT'’S THE WORST. 39 00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:20,819 MY MOM THINKS WRITING "CALL ME" ON MY WALL IS TEXTING. 40 00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:23,344 NOW, ABOUT YOUR ESSAY. 41 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:24,606 I READ IT WITH A VERY CRITICAL EYE. 42 00:01:24,606 --> 00:01:25,824 - OKAY, DON'’T EDIT YOURSELF. 43 00:01:25,824 --> 00:01:27,696 IF IT'’S TERRIBLE, I NEED TO KNOW. 44 00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:28,871 ALTHOUGH IF IT IS TERRIBLE, I ACTUALLY DON'’T WANT TO KNOW, 45 00:01:28,871 --> 00:01:30,655 BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN INSTEAD OF COLLEGE, 46 00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:32,048 I HAVE TO SPEND MY ENTIRE LIFE IN THIS HOUSE WITH MY PARENTS. 47 00:01:32,048 --> 00:01:33,615 SHOULD I CHANGE THE FONT? 48 00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,356 - NICE NEUROTIC WRITER PREAMBLE, BUT NOW IT'’S MY TURN. 49 00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:36,879 IT'’S GOOD. - REALLY? 50 00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:38,489 - IT'’S GREAT. 51 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:40,448 YOU'’RE DEFINITELY COLLEGE MATERIAL, JENNA HAMILTON. 52 00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:41,623 NOW I HAVE TO GET TO CLASS. 53 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:42,624 WHO KNOWS? 54 00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:43,712 THIS TIME NEXT YEAR, 55 00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:45,105 WE MAY BE GOING TO CLASS TOGETHER. 56 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,758 - I WAS ANOTHER STEP CLOSER 57 00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:48,586 TO LEAVING ALL THOSE AWKWARD HIGH SCHOOL MOMENTS BEHIND ME 58 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,284 AND BLAZING A NEW TRAIL 59 00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:52,982 AS A SOPHISTICATED, FABULOUS UNDERGRADUATE. 60 00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:55,376 [computer blipping] 61 00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:00,424 [gasps] 62 00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:04,950 [cell phone chimes] 63 00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,691 - "LITTLE POOPER"? 64 00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:08,215 - DAD! 65 00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:12,175 [keys clacking, loud thud] 66 00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:14,003 - I BARELY GOT 20 MINUTES OF TMZ-- 67 00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:15,396 TAMARA'’S MANDATORY Z-TIME-- 68 00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:16,353 BECAUSE I WAS UP ALL NIGHT 69 00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:17,615 TWEAKING MY PERSONAL STATEMENT. 70 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,617 - I ONLY APPLIED TO CHRIST-CENTERED SCHOOLS: 71 00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:21,271 VANDERBILT, BAYLOR, AND BRIGHAM YOUNG. 72 00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:22,359 MORMONS AREN'’T REALLY CHRISTIANS, 73 00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:24,231 BUT UTAH SEEMS NEAT. 74 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:25,580 AND SINCE THEY ALL WORSHIP A FALSE PROPHET 75 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:26,885 AND ARE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL, 76 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,670 I FIGURED I COULD GET MORE ME TIME WITH JESUS. 77 00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:31,063 - REALLY ENJOYED THE TRIP DOWN POTTY TRAINING LANE 78 00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:32,543 THIS MORNING, HAMILTURD. 79 00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:35,198 REMINDED ME TO BLOCK YOU, YOU FILTHY SCAT QUEEN. 80 00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:37,766 - I USED A SONG FOR MY PERSONAL STATEMENT. 81 00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:38,767 WHAT? 82 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:41,117 NO SARCASTIC REMARK OR A JOKE, 83 00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:42,901 MAYBE AN EYE ROLL, TAMARA? 84 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,816 - I THINK IT'’S AWESOME, JAKE. 85 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:47,036 PLUS, I HEAR THEY USE HAPPY FACES FOR GRADES 86 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,124 AT HIPPIE-DIPPIE U. 87 00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,125 - HMM. 88 00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:50,344 SO WHAT ABOUT YOU TWO? 89 00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:51,693 WHAT LUCKY SCHOOL IS GONNA GET 90 00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:54,957 THE DYNAMIC TAMARA AND JENNA DUO? 91 00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:57,089 - TAMARA AND I USED TO TALK ABOUT COLLEGE ALL THE TIME. 92 00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:58,656 BUT AFTER OUR COLLEGE VISIT, 93 00:02:58,656 --> 00:03:00,658 IT WAS CLEAR WE WERE HEADED IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. 94 00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:03,487 NEITHER OF US WANTED TO SAY IT OUT LOUD AND MAKE IT REAL. 95 00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,272 WE'’RE KEEPING OUR TOP PICKS SECRET. 96 00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:06,403 WE DON'’T WANT TO JINX IT. 97 00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:07,796 I HAVEN'’T HIT "SEND" YET. 98 00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:09,189 HOW ABOUT YOU, T? 99 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,234 - I WANTED TO LOOK THINGS OVER ONE LAST TIME. 100 00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,322 - WHY DON'’T YOU COME OVER TONIGHT? 101 00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:13,018 WE CAN HIT "SEND" TOGETHER. 102 00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,368 - BALLS, YES! 103 00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:15,369 A BESTIE FESTIE LIKE THE OLD DAYS. 104 00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:16,892 - AWESOME. 105 00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:18,720 WE'’RE REGRESSING TO TWEENS BEFORE WE GO TO COLLEGE. 106 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,156 I LOVE IT. - HEY, MATTY! 107 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,599 - EVA'’S SO PRETTY 108 00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:31,080 AND WALKS LIKE SHE'’S ON A CLOUD. 109 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,343 - MORE LIKE SAILING ON A [bleep] STORM. 110 00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:35,171 - JENNA. - HEY, YOU. 111 00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:36,607 - UH, CAN I GET THAT FILE 112 00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,827 WITH MY PERSONAL STATEMENT YOU HELPED ME WITH? 113 00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,742 - YOU HELPED MATTY WRITE HIS PERSONAL STATEMENT? 114 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,613 THAT'’S SO COOL OF YOU, JENNA. 115 00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:43,788 - YEAH. 116 00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,660 I'’LL SEND IT TO YOU WHEN I GET HOME. 117 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,488 - I REALLY NEED IT, SO DON'’T LEAVE ME HANGING, OKAY? 118 00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:48,750 - HANGING? 119 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,491 EVER SINCE MATTY GOT ARRESTED, 120 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:51,927 HE HAD BEEN THROWING ATTITUDE MY WAY. 121 00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,624 BUT IT WASN'’T MY JOB TO BAIL HIM OUT, 122 00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:54,799 NOT ANYMORE. 123 00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:57,411 HE'’D MADE THAT VERY CLEAR. 124 00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,151 - HEY, JENNA, HOW ARE YOU? 125 00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,458 - GOOD. I'’M GOOD. 126 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:02,720 - I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'’RE OKAY 127 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,809 NOW THAT MATTY AND I HAVE... CONNECTED. 128 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,333 - WE BOTH KNEW SHE MEANT SEX. 129 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,464 STILL GOOD. 130 00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:08,900 - IF US BEING TOGETHER BOTHERS YOU, 131 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:09,901 I'’D SHUT IT DOWN. 132 00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,642 YOU MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME. 133 00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:13,035 - EVA'’S PROPOSITION WAS LOSE-LOSE: 134 00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:14,689 PUT ON A FAKE SMILE WHILE MATTY AND EVA 135 00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:16,778 PARADED AROUND THE SCHOOL LIKE ROYALTY 136 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:19,128 OR BE THE JEALOUS EX THAT MADE THEM BREAK UP. 137 00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:20,390 IT'’S FINE, EVA. 138 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,044 - HEY, WE SHOULD ALL HANG SOON. 139 00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:23,437 - OH, IT'’S TOO BAD. 140 00:04:23,437 --> 00:04:24,873 TAMARA AND I ALREADY PLANNED GIRLS'’ NIGHT. 141 00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:27,354 - BUMMER, I'’D LOVE A GIRLS'’ NIGHT. 142 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,268 MATTY'’S TAKING ME OUT TO CELEBRATE 143 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,747 OUR COLLEGE APPS GOING IN. 144 00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,314 HE'’S SUCH A ROMANTIC. 145 00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:33,229 BUT WHY AM I TELLING YOU THAT? 146 00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:35,449 HE'’S PROBABLY TAKEN YOU OUT TO A MILLION ROMANTIC DINNERS. 147 00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:38,365 - WELL, IF HE MENTIONS RESEDA, DON'’T OVERDRESS. 148 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,496 - I DON'’T WANT TO OVERDRESS, 149 00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,193 AND I THINK THIS PANTSUIT SAYS, 150 00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:42,978 "I'’M CHIC, I'’M DOWN TO PARTY, 151 00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:44,588 AND I'’M EFFORTLESSLY SEXY." 152 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,678 - I THINK... 153 00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,463 YOU HAVE GREAT LEGS, 154 00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,639 AND HIDING THEM WOULD BE A CRIME. 155 00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:54,119 - YOU KNOW, YOU ARE SO RIGHT. 156 00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,557 GOD, I THINK THE STRESS OF GOING TO MY REUNION 157 00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:58,123 IS CLOUDING MY JUDGMENT A LITTLE. 158 00:04:58,123 --> 00:04:59,560 - I GOT THIS. 159 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,865 - I PLANNED THIS ENTIRE SHINDIG, 160 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,693 AND IT HAS TO BE PERFECT. 161 00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:04,434 STEVIE SHAY'’S GONNA BE THERE. 162 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,828 HE WAS THE HOTTEST TOTTIE IN CLASS. 163 00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,395 - OOH! 164 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,092 - ALL FOUR YEARS, HE DIDN'’T EVEN KNOW MY REAL NAME, 165 00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:12,834 THANKS TO THAT RUMORMONGERING BIATCH ERICA SCHNEBLY. 166 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,705 - WELL, TONIGHT EVERYONE'’S GONNA SEE YOU 167 00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,359 IN A WHOLE NEW LIGHT. 168 00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:19,231 - OH, AND I HIRED SADIE'’S FOOD TRUCK FOR CATERING. 169 00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:20,842 FOOD TRUCKS ARE AU COURANT. 170 00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:22,539 THAT MEANS "HIPSTER" IN FRENCH. 171 00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:24,106 - HMM. MAKEUP, GOOD. 172 00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:25,629 EARRINGS, PERFECT. 173 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,327 NECKLACE, TO DIE FOR. 174 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,112 YOU LOOK STUNNING. 175 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,113 - I LOVE IT! 176 00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:32,462 JUST ONE QUESTION. 177 00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:33,420 WHAT AM I WEARING? 178 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,336 - WELL DONE. 179 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,380 I SAY SEND. 180 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:38,642 - LET'’S DO IT TOGETHER. 181 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,078 - THIS WAS IT. 182 00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:41,993 ONCE I HIT "SEND," THERE WAS NO TURNING BACK. 183 00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:44,474 NEXT FALL, I'’D BE STARTING A WHOLE NEW LIFE. 184 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:45,867 BUT THERE WAS STILL CRAP FROM MY OLD LIFE 185 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,347 I HAD TO DEAL WITH. 186 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,610 CRAP, I STILL HAVE TO SEND MATTY HIS STUPID ESSAY. 187 00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:50,828 - WHAT WAS THAT SCENE ABOUT TODAY? 188 00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:53,396 HE WAS THROWING SOME SERIOUS BADITUDE YOUR WAY. 189 00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:54,919 - I DON'’T KNOW, AND I DON'’T CARE. 190 00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:56,573 - BOVINE FECES. 191 00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:58,096 THAT'’S "[bleep]" IN S.A.T. 192 00:05:58,096 --> 00:05:59,533 - OKAY, YES, I CAN'’T HELP CARING 193 00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,230 IF HE'’S BEING A DICK TO ME. 194 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:02,362 I'’M TRYING NOT TO. 195 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,363 [computer whooshes] 196 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,147 THERE, SENT HIS STUPID ESSAY. 197 00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:07,497 [soft pop music] 198 00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:08,846 [tires squealing] 199 00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,718 - DON'’T TEXT AND DRIVE. IT CAN WAIT. 200 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:13,590 - I JUST--I NEED TO SEE IF JENNA SENT MY ESSAY. 201 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,462 - I COULD HELP YOU WRITE A REALLY GOOD ESSAY, YOU KNOW. 202 00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,593 - OH, YEAH? 203 00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,552 MM, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A NICE OFFER. 204 00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:20,205 - HOW HARD COULD IT BE WITH SUCH A GREAT SUBJECT? 205 00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,904 - [laughs] YOU'’RE PRETTY GREAT YOURSELF. 206 00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:24,384 BUT IT'’S COOL. JENNA ALREADY HOOKED ME UP. 207 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,863 WILL YOU SEE IF SHE SENT IT? 208 00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:33,784 ♪ 209 00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,572 ANYTHING? 210 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:39,877 - UH... 211 00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:44,882 ♪ 212 00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:45,883 I DON'’T SEE ANYTHING. 213 00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:48,625 SORRY. 214 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,584 I HOPE SHE'’S NOT BLOWING YOU OFF. 215 00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,329 - ALL RIGHT, BEFORE WE PUNCH OUR GOLDEN TICKET, 216 00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:58,679 WE SHOULD DOCUMENT THE MOMENT. 217 00:06:58,679 --> 00:06:59,897 [gasps] ADORBS. 218 00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:01,116 I'’LL POST. 219 00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,944 - OH, CRAP. 220 00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:05,425 MY DAD POSTED MORE OF HIS MEMORY LANE FREAK SHOW. 221 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,904 HE THINKS ADDING THE WORD "PRIVATE" NEXT TO MY NAME 222 00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,253 MEANS NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE IT. 223 00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,559 - [gasps] 224 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:11,605 JENNA, THE OTHER PICS YOU'’RE TAGGED IN 225 00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,389 AND THE PICS YOU'’VE POSTED-- 226 00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:15,217 "RED CUPS AND RED EYES," 227 00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:17,175 "SEXY JENNA DUCK FACE POUT"? 228 00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,700 COLLEGE ADMISSIONS OFFICERS ARE SUPER SNOOPERS. 229 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,223 THEY WANT A PERSON OF SUBSTANCE, 230 00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:23,094 NOT SUBSTANCE ABUSE! 231 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,053 BEFORE YOU HIT "SEND," WE HAVE TO GIVE A PEDI 232 00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:26,620 TO YOUR SLIGHTLY SKANK DIGITAL FOOTPRINT. 233 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,230 - CAN WE REALLY DO ALL THAT NOW? 234 00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:30,014 - HAVE YOU MET THE EXPERT? 235 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,755 THE UPSIDE TO MY CATFISHING TRIP 236 00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,714 WAS THE HONING OF MY PERCEPTION DECEPTION SKILLS. 237 00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,977 ANY COLLEGE THAT GOOGLES TAMARA KAPLAN 238 00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:38,762 WILL BE WOWED BY MY SQUEAKY-CLEAN ONLINE PERSONA. 239 00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,155 LET'’S SEE WHAT WE'’RE WORKING WITH. 240 00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:41,548 - THE MOST DISTURBING SHOTS 241 00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:43,419 WEREN'’T THE ONES I WAS CAUGHT DOING POOLSIDE. 242 00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,290 THEY WERE THE ONES WITH MATTY BY MY SIDE. 243 00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:48,424 MY COMPLICATED PAST WAS STILL ATTACHED TO MY PRESENT 244 00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:51,079 AND IN NEED OF SOME SERIOUS SCRUBBING. 245 00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:53,298 - THIS IS GOING TO BE A HELLISH ORDEAL, 246 00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:55,518 SO I NEED BOTH OF YOU TO STAY OUT OF MY WAY 247 00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:58,652 AND OBEY EVERY ORDER I GIVE YOU TO THE LETTER! 248 00:07:58,652 --> 00:07:59,914 - WOW, YOU'’RE REALLY FEELING 249 00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:02,133 THIS WHOLE GERMAN THING, AREN'’T YOU? 250 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,744 - YOU ARE HALF AN HOUR LATE. 251 00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:05,746 NOW, FIRE UP THAT GRILL STAT! 252 00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:09,097 - I TOLD YOU, I HAVE FRIDAY CLASS AND MIGHT BE LATE. 253 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,360 YOU SHOULD LISTEN WHEN I TELL YOU STUFF, SADITA. 254 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,840 - DO NOT CALL ME THAT, 255 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,755 AND KEEP YOUR CHOLO HANDS OFF ME, 256 00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:16,626 COMPRENDE,SERGIO? 257 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,367 - ARE WE SERVING CHOLOS TONIGHT? 258 00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:21,196 - THAT'’S ACTIONABLE SEXUAL HARASSMENT, YOU PIG. 259 00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:23,024 - STICKING THAT BIG OLE SEXY-ASS BOOTY IN MY FACE 260 00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:25,156 IS WHAT CONSTITUTES SEXUAL HARASSMENT. 261 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,594 AND, BLANQUITA,IF I WAS SEXUALLY HARASSING YOU, 262 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:30,858 TRUST ME, YOU'’D KNOW. 263 00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:33,295 - UH, WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR THE LEDERHOSEN AND HE DOESN'’T? 264 00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:35,471 - BECAUSE SERGIO WOULD LOOK STUPID IN LEDERHOSEN. 265 00:08:35,471 --> 00:08:37,081 - AND I DON'’T? 266 00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:38,430 - NO, YOU DO. 267 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,607 NOW, EVERYONE, GET BACK TO [bleep] WORK! 268 00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:41,912 - ♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY 269 00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:43,523 ♪ 270 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,567 ♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY 271 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:48,484 ♪ 272 00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:51,052 - VAL, GET IN HERE. 273 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,096 YOU CAN DO THIS. COME ON. 274 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,887 - I FEEL NAKED WITHOUT MY FANNY PACK. 275 00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,758 WAIT. AM I NAKED? PEOPLE ARE STARING. 276 00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:05,501 - NOPE. THEY ARE CHECKING YOU OUT. 277 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:06,720 - HEY. 278 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:07,895 THIS IS WEIRD. 279 00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,113 I DON'’T RECOGNIZE YOU TWO, 280 00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:11,289 AND I DO NOT FORGET BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. 281 00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:12,987 [all laugh] 282 00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:15,598 - WELL, I ACTUALLY DIDN'’T GO HERE. 283 00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:17,774 I'’M WITH MY FRIEND VAL, WHO DID. 284 00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:20,124 - CLEARLY I SMOKED TOO MUCH DOPE IN HIGH SCHOOL. 285 00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:21,343 - [laughing] STOP. 286 00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:23,171 WHO DIDN'’T? 287 00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,476 I DO REMEMBER YOU, THOUGH. 288 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:27,784 YOU'’RE STEVIE SHAY. 289 00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,873 - YOU KNOW, MY GIRL HERE PLANNED THE WHOLE REUNION. 290 00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,223 - COOL. - NO, NO, IT WAS NO TROUBLE. 291 00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:33,964 I JUST BOOKED THE ROOM NINE MONTHS AGO. 292 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:36,097 THEN I CONFIRMED IT SIX MONTHS AGO. 293 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,446 AND THEN I PICKED OUT THE GOLD TABLECLOTHS 294 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:38,882 THREE MONTHS AGO-- 295 00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,492 - DEMPSTER! YOU SICK BASTARD. 296 00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:43,495 OOH! - VAL-GINA? 297 00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:45,715 OH, IT IS YOU! 298 00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:48,457 WOW, YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD. 299 00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:49,850 GOOD FOR YOU. 300 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:50,894 ADMIT IT, THOUGH. 301 00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,504 YOU'’VE HAD WORK DONE. 302 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:53,505 - BUNION SURGERY. 303 00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:54,681 THANKS FOR NOTICING. 304 00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,073 - [laughing] OH, GOD. 305 00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,293 YOU'’RE STILL THAT SAME OLD KOOKY VAL-GINA. 306 00:09:58,293 --> 00:09:59,555 [laughs] 307 00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,777 - VAL-GINA? 308 00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:06,344 - ERICA STARTED A RUMOR THAT I WAS A HERMAPHRODITE. 309 00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:07,563 I NEED A HUG. 310 00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:09,478 - NO, YOU DON'’T. 311 00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:12,568 YOU NEED LIP GLOSS. 312 00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:16,050 - LOOK SMART, LIKE YOU'’RE REALLY INTERESTED IN IT. 313 00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:22,622 YOU'’RE STUDYING. YOU'’RE SOLVING. 314 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,797 DIFFICULT. 315 00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:24,928 ACT LIKE YOU SOLVED IT. 316 00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,495 - I'’M TRYING. 317 00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:27,931 - STOP! 318 00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:29,280 - WELL, IT'’S SOLVED. - JENNA! 319 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,586 - IT'’S SOLVED. 320 00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:31,631 - I'’M NOT GONNA REMEMBER WHAT I WROTE. 321 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,460 THAT ONE'’S REALLY GOOD. 322 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:36,853 - MM, I LIKE IT. 323 00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:38,725 [doorbell rings] 324 00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:43,991 - SURPRISE! 325 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:45,209 LET'’S GO OUT AND CELEBRATE YOUR APPS GOING IN. 326 00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:47,647 FRIDAY NIGHT IS JAZZ UNDER THE STARS AT LACMA. 327 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,257 - YOU ARE PERFECTION. 328 00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:51,172 OH, CHECK OUT WHAT TAMARA DID FOR MY ONLINE PROFILE. 329 00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:53,261 SHE IS TOTALLY SAVING MY ASS. 330 00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:54,566 - HEY, TAMARA. 331 00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:56,612 I HEAR YOU'’RE SAVING A VERY NICE ASS. 332 00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:57,613 - WE WERE JUST FINISHING UP. 333 00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:58,570 I'’LL GO GET MY STUFF. 334 00:10:58,570 --> 00:10:59,920 - T! 335 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:02,487 T, WAIT. 336 00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:05,926 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 337 00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:07,014 - I CAN DO THE MATH. 338 00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:09,364 T MINUS BF EQUALS THIRD WHEEL. 339 00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:11,279 AND THAT'’S SAGIC-- 340 00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:12,454 SADLY TRAGIC. 341 00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:18,286 - LOOKS GREAT. 342 00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:19,287 LOTS TO CELEBRATE. 343 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,592 - LISTEN, 344 00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:21,898 I REALLY DON'’T WANT TO BAIL ON T. 345 00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,291 WE SORT OF HAD A GIRLS'’ NIGHT PLANNED. 346 00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,339 - THEN HOW ABOUT WE BAG THE CONCERT 347 00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:29,819 AND I TAKE YOU BOTH FOR A QUICK FRO-YO? 348 00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:32,604 - MM. 349 00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:34,041 HEY, PUT THAT BAG DOWN. 350 00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,782 LUKE IS TAKING US OUT FOR FRO-YO 351 00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:36,783 AND THEN DITCHING. 352 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,088 BESTIE FESTIE IS BACK ON. 353 00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:42,397 - TRUTH IS, I DON'’T LIKE JAZZ NEARLY AS MUCH 354 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:44,834 AS I LIKE BEING A GUY WHO SAYS HE LIKES JAZZ. 355 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,836 - THEN LET'’S PUT THE CHERRY ON TOP OF YOUR NEW BRAND: 356 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,055 THE BF/GF PHOTO. 357 00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:48,882 CUDDLE UP. 358 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,495 - I HOPE THIS PLACE IS OKAY. 359 00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:56,150 I MET THE CHEF LAST YEAR IN VEGAS ON NEW YEAR'’S EVE, 360 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,629 AND HE'’S BEEN HOUNDING ME TO COME BY. 361 00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:58,979 - YEAH, LOOKS GREAT. 362 00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,200 I CAN'’T BELIEVE JENNA STILL HASN'’T SENT THAT EMAIL. 363 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,463 - I KNOW. WHAT IS UP WITH HER? 364 00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:08,553 BUT FORGET ABOUT THAT NOW. 365 00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:10,381 WE ARE CELEBRATING. 366 00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:14,168 OKAY, BIG SMILE. 367 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,778 - HOW ABOUT SOME STRUDEL WHILE WE WAIT? 368 00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:16,779 - YES, SIR. 369 00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:18,520 JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES. 370 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,087 HOW MUCH LONGER? 371 00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:21,784 - SADITA'’S SO USED TO HANGING OUT THE WINDOW 372 00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,394 SWEET-TALKING ALL THE CUSTOMERS, 373 00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,396 SHE ISN'’T ANY GOOD AT FIRING UP A SAUSAGE. 374 00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:28,269 - SERGIO, I WILL GRIND YOUR SAUSAGE AND FEED IT TO-- 375 00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,227 - HEY, WHOA, WHOA! JUST A SECOND. 376 00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:32,490 - JESUS, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE A FRICKIN'’ HOT DOG? 377 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,452 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT UNDERCOOKED PORK? 378 00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:41,108 BON APPETIT, BUTTHOLE. 379 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:42,544 - WHAT'’S WRONG, MATTY? 380 00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,024 - HARD TO CELEBRATE OUR APPS GOING IN 381 00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,982 WHEN MINE AREN'’T IN. 382 00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:48,898 I CAN'’T BELIEVE JENNA WOULD SCREW ME OVER LIKE THIS. 383 00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:50,944 - IT'’S ALMOST LIKE SHE'’S TRYING TO SABOTAGE YOU OR SOMETHING. 384 00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:51,988 BUT WHY? 385 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:54,121 I MEAN, SHE'’S SO NICE. 386 00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:56,863 I CAN'’T EVER BELIEVE SHE WOULD TRY TO HURT YOU ON PURPOSE. 387 00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:58,212 WOULD SHE? 388 00:12:58,212 --> 00:12:59,779 - SHE HAS BEFORE. 389 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,259 - WELL, WHATEVER WITH HER. 390 00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:04,392 LOOK! WE ALREADY GOT 20 LIKES. 391 00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:07,525 OH, GUESS WE KNOW WHAT JENNA'’S SO BUSY WITH RIGHT NOW. 392 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,443 - WHAT THE HELL? 393 00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:13,967 JENNA CAN'’T BE BOTHERED TO SEND ME MY ESSAY, 394 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,925 BUT SHE HAS TIME FOR YOGURT. 395 00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:18,058 - GOD, I'’M SO SORRY. 396 00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,320 - LET'’S GET OUT OF HERE, EVA. 397 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,800 I'’M SUDDENLY IN THE MOOD FOR DESSERT. 398 00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,414 - DON'’T LET ONE PERSON RUIN YOUR NIGHT. 399 00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,850 THERE'’S STEVIE OVER THERE. 400 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,156 GO ASK HIM WHAT HE DOES. 401 00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:31,114 GUYS LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES. 402 00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:34,335 HEY, SURPRISE YOURSELF. 403 00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:36,728 YEAH. YOU GOT IT. GO. 404 00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:41,646 - SO, STEVIE, 405 00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:43,779 WHAT'’S YOUR OCCUP-- 406 00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:45,346 WHAT DO--WHAT DO YOU-- WHAT DO YOU DO? 407 00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:46,869 - OH, HEY. 408 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,044 HIGH SCHOOL GYM TEACHER. 409 00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,611 GETTING PAID TO BE A JOCK. 410 00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:50,612 - THAT IS SO COOL. 411 00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:51,961 I'’M A HIGH SCHOOL COUNSELOR. 412 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:54,877 GETTING PAID TO BE A COUNSELOR. 413 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,792 THESE ARE ACTUALLY SOME OF MY PEEPS. 414 00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:58,011 YO, SADIE, SMELLS GOOD! 415 00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,012 - [bleep] OFF! 416 00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,187 - YOU GOT IT! 417 00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:02,058 JUST LOVE KIDS. 418 00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:04,278 YOU KNOW, MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'’M BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL. 419 00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,367 - I THOUGHT HIGH SCHOOL KIND OF SUCKED FOR YOU. 420 00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:07,759 - YEAH. 421 00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:09,500 YEAH, IT DID, MAYBE A SKOSH, 422 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,242 BUT I GOT TO TELL YOU, NOW I LOVE IT. 423 00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:13,809 - THAT'’S AWESOME. 424 00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:15,593 HEY, I WAS AFRAID THIS PARTY WOULD BE KIND OF LAME, 425 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:16,594 SO I GOT A ROOM. 426 00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:17,944 - YES. 427 00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:18,945 - YOU WANT TO SEE IT? - YES. YES, I DO. 428 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:23,863 OKAY. 429 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,473 - SO JUST TO BE CLEAR, 430 00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:29,216 THIS IS NOT A GOOD PICTURE FOR MY PROFILE. 431 00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,826 - DEFINITELY NOT. 432 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:34,525 - BUT COULD BE LISTED UNDER SPECIAL TALENTS. 433 00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:37,964 - SO IS THERE A REASON WHY YOU HAVEN'’T SENT ME MY ESSAY? 434 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,356 - HI TO YOU TOO. 435 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:40,705 I SENT IT HOURS AGO. 436 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:41,968 - REALLY? 437 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:42,751 I'’D LIKE TO GO TO COLLEGE, JENNA. 438 00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:44,144 I WANT MY ESSAY NOW. 439 00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,058 - WELL, I'’M SORRY, MATTY, 440 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:46,102 BUT I AM WITH MY BOYFRIEND 441 00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:47,451 AND MY BEST FRIEND. 442 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,149 I WILL SEND IT TO YOU AGAIN WHEN I GET HOME. 443 00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:52,282 - WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO TILL THEN? 444 00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:53,805 - NOT MY PROBLEM. - IT'’S OKAY, MATTY. 445 00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,677 WE CAN JUST HANG SOME MORE. I DON'’T MIND. 446 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,548 - DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE HOW SELFISH YOU'’RE BEING RIGHT NOW? 447 00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,333 - OKAY, MAN, THAT'’S ENOUGH. SHE'’LL SEND IT TO YOU LATER. 448 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,726 - THIS IS AWK-WEIRD. JENNA, WE CAN JUST GO. 449 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:02,727 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 450 00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:04,077 NO, WE'’RE STAYING, 451 00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:05,165 '’CAUSE WE ARE HAVING A GREAT TIME. 452 00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:06,644 MATTY, YOU WANT YOUR ESSAY SO BAD? 453 00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:07,950 WHY DON'’T YOU GO AND GET IT YOURSELF? 454 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:08,951 YOU KNOW WHERE THE KEY IS. 455 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:09,952 - FINE. I WILL. 456 00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,519 THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP, JENNA, 457 00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:12,520 ALL OF IT. 458 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:13,564 - YOU'’RE SO WELCOME, MATTY. 459 00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:20,484 - THIS HAS ONIONS. 460 00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,008 I ORDERED SAUERKRAUT. 461 00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:24,140 - WHAT, ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT YOUR BREATH? 462 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,751 BECAUSE IN THAT UGLY SWEATER AND THOSE BOGO FRUMP PUMPS, 463 00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,275 THE CHANCES OF YOU GETTING ANY TONIGHT 464 00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:29,885 ARE AS DEAD AS THE SOW THAT BRATWURST CAME FROM. 465 00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:31,365 - SADIE! 466 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:35,064 STOP BEING SUCH A MEAN, NASTY BITCH! 467 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:38,502 [cheers and applause] 468 00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:40,635 PLEASE ACCEPT THIS ON THE HOUSE. 469 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:43,507 - THANK YOU. 470 00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:44,639 - NICE. 471 00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,641 - THANKS. 472 00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:48,338 STAY IN THE BACK, 473 00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:50,688 AND KEEP THOSE BRATS COMING DOUBLE TIME, SADIE, 474 00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:53,430 OR JAKE AND I ARE LEAVING. 475 00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:55,432 - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? 476 00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:57,782 - I JUST GOT BACK FROM BONE TOWN. 477 00:15:57,782 --> 00:15:59,045 - YOU DIDN'’T! 478 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,698 - NO, I DIDN'’T. 479 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:01,786 I DON'’T THINK I DID. 480 00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:03,440 WAIT. IF HE... 481 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,876 - THAT DOESN'’T COUNT. 482 00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:06,443 - OKAY, WHAT IF I... 483 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:07,792 - NOT EVEN A BASE. 484 00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:08,924 - OH, THANK GOD! 485 00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:10,621 HE WAS SO BORING. 486 00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:13,537 NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE STEVIE I FANTASIZED ABOUT. 487 00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:16,018 HE DIDN'’T ASK ME ONE QUESTION ABOUT MYSELF. 488 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:18,803 IF THAT'’S THE KIND OF MAN THAT SUPERMODEL VAL ATTRACTS, 489 00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:20,805 I'’M GOING BACK TO THE REAL VAL. 490 00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:23,460 - FOR THE RECORD, I KIND OF LOVE THE REAL VAL. 491 00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:24,679 - CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING? 492 00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:25,723 - MM. 493 00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,682 - IT WAS TINY. 494 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:30,685 HIS P MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN A V. 495 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,513 - YOU HAD SEX WITH MY HUSBAND? 496 00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:36,996 STEVIE! 497 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,433 - ONE MORE REASON NOT TO HAVE DONE THE DIRTY WITH DINKY. 498 00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:40,521 SHOULD WE GET OUT OF HERE? 499 00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:41,739 I DON'’T WANT TO MAKE A SCENE. 500 00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,002 - AH, THEY'’RE NOT COMING BACK. 501 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,829 AND, HONEY, WE ARE THE SCENE. 502 00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:49,660 - HOW NICE THAT YOU CAN GET INTO JENNA'’S BEDROOM 503 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:52,794 ANYTIME YOU WANT. 504 00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,665 - GOT IT. 505 00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:55,971 LET'’S GO. 506 00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:56,972 - NOT SO FAST. 507 00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,495 YOU PROMISED ME DESSERT. 508 00:16:58,495 --> 00:16:59,583 - OH. 509 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,847 OH, EVA, STOP. 510 00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:04,066 NOT HERE. 511 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,416 THIS IS-- THIS IS WEIRD. 512 00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:07,504 - I'’M SORRY. 513 00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:09,028 I'’M SUCH AN IDIOT. 514 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,986 I JUST-- 515 00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,944 I CAN'’T STOP FEELING LIKE I'’M COMPETING WITH HER. 516 00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,555 - YOU ARE SO NOT. 517 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,687 - BUT YOU KNOW WHERE SHE HIDES HER KEY, 518 00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:19,212 AND YOU HAVE, LIKE, ALL OF HER TEXTS IN YOUR PHONE-- 519 00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,865 - YOU SAW ALL OF OUR TEXTS? 520 00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:22,693 - I'’M SORRY. I JUST-- 521 00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:24,043 I COULDN'’T HELP BUT NOTICE. 522 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,262 AND THEY GO BACK A LONG TIME. 523 00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:27,524 - WELL, THEY GO BACK TO THE PAST. 524 00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:30,266 AND THE PAST, WELL... 525 00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:37,012 IT'’S NOW OFFICIALLY THE PAST. 526 00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:38,970 - YOU ERASED ALL OF THEM? 527 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:39,971 FOR ME? 528 00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:42,278 - JENNA-- 529 00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:43,497 JENNA'’S DELETED. 530 00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:51,809 - OH, SHOOT. 531 00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:52,810 I LEFT MY PHONE. 532 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:53,898 I'’LL BE RIGHT BACK. 533 00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:56,597 [Gold & Youth'’s Time to Kill] 534 00:17:56,597 --> 00:18:00,992 ♪ 535 00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:03,691 - ♪ POISONED, HOLLOW TOWNIES 536 00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:04,822 - GOT IT. 537 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:08,652 - ♪ WALLOW ON THE CORNER 538 00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:12,482 ♪ TAKE THE POWER LINES BACK HOME ♪ 539 00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,615 - YOU KNOW, IT WAS REALLY COOL WHAT YOU DID BACK THERE. 540 00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:17,052 I'’M SO USED TO SADIE BOSSING YOU AROUND. 541 00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:18,749 - I LOVE ORDERING SADIE AROUND. 542 00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,882 [both laugh] 543 00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,275 YOU'’VE CHANGED TOO, JAKE. 544 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:24,233 TAMARA USED TO YANK YOU AROUND, 545 00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:26,061 BUT NOW YOU'’RE JUST... 546 00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:27,062 MORE YOU. 547 00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:30,848 - CHANGE IS A GOOD THING. 548 00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:34,374 THERE MIGHT BE MORE TO COME. 549 00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,419 - WE DID IT WITHOUT SPEAKING, 550 00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:38,508 EACH KNOWING THAT THE SIMPLE ACT OF HITTING "SEND" 551 00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:41,120 WOULD PROBABLY BE THE END OF JENARA COLLEGE ROOMIES-- 552 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,860 NO FRESHMAN DORM BESTIE FESTIES, 553 00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,775 SORORITY KIDNAPS, FOOTBALL TAILGATES, 554 00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:47,517 OR COLLEGE GRADUATION PARTIES FOUR YEARS FROM NOW. 555 00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:49,171 WE WERE BOTH HAPPY AND SAD 556 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,434 AND DID WHAT WE ALWAYS DID IN THAT SITUATION-- 557 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:52,435 PUT ON A SAD MOVIE. 558 00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:53,784 UGH, I FEEL LIKE A SHOWER 559 00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,612 JUST KNOWING MATTY AND EVA WERE IN HERE. 560 00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,962 - IT WAS REALLY COOL OF LUKE TO INCLUDE ME TONIGHT. 561 00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:59,573 - THAT'’S THE WAY IT'’LL ALWAYS BE. 562 00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:01,357 NO MATTER WHERE WE GO OR WHO WE DATE, 563 00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:03,098 WE WILL ALWAYS MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER. 564 00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,621 - [sighs] 565 00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:06,188 - DON'’T CRY. IF YOU CRY, I'’LL CRY. 566 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,537 - SORRY, I ALWAYS CRY 567 00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:09,235 AT THE OPENING CREDITS OF THE NOTEBOOK. 568 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,760 EW! 569 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,065 SKANKY JANK! 570 00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:15,502 I'’VE SEEN ENOUGH OF YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY. 571 00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:18,026 I DON'’T NEED TO SLEEP WITH IT. 572 00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:20,333 - NOT MINE. 573 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:23,858 EVA'’S? 574 00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:26,426 - O-M-DOUBLE-EFFING-G, 575 00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:29,516 SHE DID NOT-- HE DID NOT-- 576 00:19:29,516 --> 00:19:30,560 OR DID THEY, 577 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:31,779 IN YOUR BED? 578 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:39,003 - JENNA HAMILTON PERSONAL STATEMENT: 579 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:41,571 WHEN I STARTED HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS INVISIBLE. 580 00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,791 IT WAS EASIER THAT WAY, NOT TO BE NOTICED. 581 00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,401 WHEN I WAS NOTICED, 582 00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:47,621 IT WASN'’T FOR THE THINGS I WANTED TO BE NOTICED FOR. 583 00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,623 FELT LIKE MY DESTINY WASN'’T MY OWN. 584 00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,407 BUT THAT GIRL'’S ABOUT TO GRADUATE. 585 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,366 SHE'’S FOUND HER VOICE AND IS READY TO USE IT. 586 00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,063 - HEY, GIRLFRIEND. 587 00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:58,458 - HEY, YOU LEFT SOMETHING IN MY BED LAST NIGHT, 588 00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:01,112 GIRLFRIEND. 589 00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:02,113 - HOW EMBARRASSING. 590 00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:04,072 I'’M SO SORRY. 591 00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:07,031 - NO BIGGIE. 592 00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,990 - JENNA, I REALLY AM SORRY. 593 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:11,035 I NEVER MEANT FOR THINGS TO GO THAT FAR. 594 00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:12,776 IT'’S JUST, MATTY, 595 00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:14,604 YOU KNOW HOW HE IS WHEN HE'’S, YOU KNOW... 596 00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:19,435 - HERE'’S THE DEAL, EVA. 597 00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,307 THINGS AREN'’T GREAT BETWEEN MATTY AND I RIGHT NOW. 598 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:22,873 BUT I KNOW MATTY MCKIBBEN, 599 00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:25,049 AND HE WOULD NEVER [bleep] YOU IN MY BED. 600 00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,747 SO I DON'’T KNOW WHAT KIND OF GAME THIS IS YOU'’RE PLAYING, 601 00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:27,748 BUT COUNT ME OUT. 602 00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:31,317 BUT, HEY, NICE TRY. 603 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:36,800 - I GOT NOTHING, HAMILTON. 604 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,332 - NEXT, ON AWKWARD... 605 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,811 THE SENIOR SKI TRIP WAS LEGENDARY. 606 00:20:47,811 --> 00:20:48,812 - HEY. - OH, MY GOD-- 607 00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:50,423 [yelps, gasps] 608 00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:55,819 - JENNA, DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH EVA? 609 00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:57,212 - I DIDN'’T DRIVE TWO HOURS 610 00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:59,736 TO WATCH SOME PSYCHODRAMA WITH YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND. 611 00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:01,608 - I'’M A FRIEND OF EMMA MANSFIELD. 612 00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:02,913 - I'’M EMMA MANSFIELD. 43043

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