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1
00:00:03,046 --> 00:00:03,960
- PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD...
- IT'’S YOU.
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,135
IT'’S OVER, TAMARA.
3
00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,615
- JAKE, NO.
4
00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:07,877
- I'’LL SEE YOU THEN.
5
00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:09,183
- THAT GIRL'’S
A STRAIGHT-UP CREEPER.
6
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,445
- I LEFT BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOU UP THERE
7
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:11,663
WAS KIND OF ROUGH.
8
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:21,891
- I COULDN'’T FIGURE OUT
STANDARD DEVIATIONS
9
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,588
FOR THE LIFE OF ME,
BUT THERE WAS ONE FORMULA
10
00:00:23,588 --> 00:00:24,763
I WAS FINALLY GETTING
THE HANG OF--
11
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,809
THE FORMULA FOR MOVING ON.
12
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:29,029
ONE SPECTACULAR SENIOR YEAR
WITH MY FRIENDS
13
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,726
PLUS ONE AMAZING NEW BOYFRIEND
14
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:34,338
MINUS ABSOLUTELY ZERO
LINGERING FEELINGS FOR MATTY
15
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,079
EQUALS ME READY TO START
A NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE.
16
00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:41,911
- OKAY, BABE,
BREAK TIME'’S OVER.
17
00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:44,696
BACK TO THE RIVETING WORLD
OF STATISTICS.
18
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,263
SO FOR EACH NUMBER
IN THE FORMULA,
19
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,526
YOU SUBTRACT THE MEAN
AND DO WHAT?
20
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:50,963
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
WANT TO MAKE OUT?
21
00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:51,877
- UH-HUH.
22
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,535
- HEY, KIDS, DO YOU WANT
SOME DESSER--
23
00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,363
- JESUS!
24
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:01,713
SOMEONE NEEDS
A TUTORIAL ON KNOCKING.
25
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:02,932
- I AM SO SORRY, SWEETIE.
26
00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,238
I'’M JUST GONNA BE
A BAD PARENT
27
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:05,369
AND PRETEND I DIDN'’T SEE
ANY OF THIS.
28
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:07,458
JUST PROMISE ME
YOU'’LL BE CAREFUL,
29
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:08,242
BECAUSE IF YOU'’VE LEARNED
ONE THING
30
00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,460
FROM YOUR FATHER AND ME,
31
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,940
IT'’S THAT IT ONLY TAKES
ONE THRUST
32
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:12,420
FOR SOMEONE TO BECOME
A TEEN MOM.
33
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:16,902
- THAT IS SO EMBARRASSING.
34
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:18,121
- [clears throat]
35
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:20,080
- NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
36
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,385
- UH, IT'’S GETTING PRETTY LATE.
37
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,300
SHOULD WE JUST PICK THIS UP
NEXT TIME?
38
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,519
- GOOD IDEA.
39
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,564
NO MORE DISTRACTIONS.
40
00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:28,958
- IT'’S BEEN A PLEASURE
BEING YOUR MATH TUTOR.
41
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:31,830
I ACCEPT PAYMENT IN THE FORM
OF VISA, MASTERCARD,
42
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,920
OR, IN YOUR CASE,
A REALLY EXCELLENT KISS.
43
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,314
- MY FORMULA FOR MOVING ON
SEEMED TO BE WORKING OUT GREAT.
44
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:38,620
WHEN I KISSED LUKE,
45
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,665
ALL I SAW WAS MY PRESENT
AND MY FUTURE...
46
00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:43,886
AND MATTY?
47
00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:46,671
ON SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBE
I NEEDED TO GET MY EYES CHECKED.
48
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:50,327
[keys clacking, loud thud]
49
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,460
- HEY.
50
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,549
SORRY TO INTERRUPT.
- MATTY, RIGHT?
51
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:55,985
GREAT TO MEET YOU.
I'’M LUKE.
52
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,726
- YEAH, I KNOW.
HEY.
53
00:01:57,726 --> 00:01:59,554
- MATTY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
54
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:02,470
I THOUGHT YOU'’D BE ON LOCKDOWN
AFTER THE MR. PHHS PAGEANT.
55
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:03,732
- YEAH, I'’M GROUNDED FOR LIFE,
56
00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,125
BUT WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO,
57
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,343
ADD ANOTHER DAY
FOR SNEAKING OUT?
58
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:09,041
ANYWAY, I'’M HERE ON BUSINESS.
59
00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:11,566
- OH, THE BF/GF/BFF CONCERT.
60
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:14,569
- BF/GF/BFF IS THE NAME
OF A BAND?
61
00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:16,527
- NO, IT'’S NOT.
IT'’S A--
62
00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:17,659
NEVER MIND.
63
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,748
I'’M SORRY.
I FORGOT ABOUT THIS.
64
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:21,228
- SAME.
65
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,230
NO CLUE WHAT JAKE AND TAMARA
ARE DOING WITH THEIRS,
66
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,667
BUT I FIGURED
YOU COULD HAVE MINE AND--
67
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,886
I DON'’T KNOW--
TAKE LUKE IF YOU WANT.
68
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:31,673
- THANKS, MAN, BUT I HAVE
MIDTERMS THIS WEEKEND.
69
00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:33,936
WHY DON'’T YOU GUYS
JUST GO TOGETHER?
70
00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:35,242
- SERIOUSLY?
YOU WOULDN'’T MIND?
71
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,765
- NOT AT ALL.
72
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,462
YOU SHOULDN'’T MISS A SHOW
YOU ALREADY PAID FOR.
73
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,203
- I AM DOWN IF YOU ARE.
74
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,250
- SURE.
WHY NOT?
75
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:46,340
IT WAS GREAT BEING WITH
A SECURE, MATURE COLLEGE GUY.
76
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,037
ONLY SOME HIGH SCHOOL SPAZ
WOULD MAKE
77
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:50,822
A BIG DEAL OUT OF A COUPLE
OF STUPID CONCERT TICKETS.
78
00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:53,999
- THESE CONCERT TICKETS
ARE A BIG FREAKIN'’ DEAL, ROSATI!
79
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,479
YOU DON'’T EVEN DESERVE
TO LOOK AT THEM!
80
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:56,741
- OH, OKAY,
I CAN'’T LOOK AT THEM.
81
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:57,873
- NO, YOU CAN'’T LOOK AT THEM.
82
00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,180
- UGH.
- THIS FOOTAGE IS FANTASTIC.
83
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,442
- WHY ARE YOU GUYS FILMING THIS?
84
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:02,312
- WE'’RE MAKING
A DOCUMENTARY CALLED
85
00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:03,966
STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE BASIC.
86
00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:05,489
YOU'’D BE SO GREAT IN IT!
87
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:06,925
- OH, NO, NO.
88
00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:08,275
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
89
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,277
- WOULD ANYONE BE INTERESTED
90
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:13,062
IN EITHER JAKE
OR TAMARA'’S TICKET TO ECHOSMITH?
91
00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,672
THERE'’S NO WAY
THEY'’RE BOTH GOING.
92
00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:17,371
- OH, PICK ME.
PICK ME, PLEASE.
93
00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:20,025
OH, PLEASE, HAMILTACKY.
94
00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:21,984
EVEN IF AUSTIN AND I
DIDN'’T ALREADY HAVE TICKETS,
95
00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,551
I'’D NEVER BE DESPERADO ENOUGH
96
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:26,031
TO TAKE YOUR FRIENDS'’
SLOPPY SECONDS.
97
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:28,599
- I BELIEVED YOU WHEN YOU SAID
YOU HAD THREE PET DINGOES
98
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:30,601
AND A VACATION HOME
IN THE OUTBACK!
99
00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:32,516
DO YOU KNOW HOW HUMILIATING
THAT IS?
100
00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:35,519
- OMG, DID YOU HEAR THAT?
- HEAR WHAT?
101
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,956
- THAT'’S THE SOUND OF ME
NOT GIVING A FLYING [bleep].
102
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:39,480
all: OH.
103
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,525
- THANK GOD WE WERE NEVER
THAT BAD.
104
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:42,961
I'’M SORRY YOU HAD
TO SEE LUKE AND I
105
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:44,876
MID-MAKE-OUT LAST NIGHT.
106
00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:46,443
- WELL, JENNA, IT'’S NOT LIKE
IT WAS THE FIRST TIME.
107
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:49,185
- OUCH.
TOTALLY TRUE, BUT OUCH.
108
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:51,274
- LUKE SEEMS LIKE
A GOOD GUY, THOUGH.
109
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,537
I'’M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU.
110
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:55,626
[sighs]
111
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:58,368
IT IS HARD TO FIND A PERSON
OF QUALITY AROUND HERE.
112
00:03:58,368 --> 00:03:59,674
TRUST ME.
113
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:01,458
- YOU KNOW, MAYBE
I'’LL WRITE ANOTHER SONG
114
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:04,374
AND CALL IT MY CRAZY EX TALKS
LIKE A SPEED FREAK
115
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:06,115
NO JK, LOL.
116
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:09,423
- HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT
WITHOUT YOUR PRECIOUS HARMONICA?
117
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:14,689
all: OH!
118
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:15,646
- AW.
119
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,650
I DIDN'’T DO ANYTHING WRONG,
EXCEPT DATE A PSYCHOPATH
120
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,609
WHO CAN DO A CONVINCING
AUSTRALIAN ACCENT.
121
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:24,786
- WHEN YOU SPEAK,
I WANT TO DIE, JUST FYI.
122
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:27,092
- STOP IT! STOP IT!
YOU'’VE BOTH BEEN ACTING CRAZY.
123
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,964
IT IS TIME THAT YOU LEARN
A THING OR TWO
124
00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:32,359
FROM YOUR FRIENDS/MODEL EXES
JENNA AND MATTY.
125
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:34,448
THESE TWO HAVE MANAGED
126
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,145
TO MAINTAIN THE PEACE
EVEN AFTER JENNA
127
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:37,842
CRUELLY CHEATED ON HIM
128
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,280
AND FELL DOWN
A RABBIT HOLE OF SIN.
129
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,586
SMASH-CUT TO THE BRUTAL IRONY
OF THIS YEAR--
130
00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:44,501
JENNA IS NOW DATING
A HOT COLLEGE STUD,
131
00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:46,721
AND MATTY
IS STILL SINGLE AND ALONE.
132
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,244
- I'’M--I'’M FINE, ACTUALLY.
133
00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:49,245
- SHH.
DON'’T SPEAK.
134
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:50,594
WHAT I'’M TRYING TO SAY
135
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:52,857
IS THAT THESE TWO
HAVE A MILLION REASONS
136
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,250
WHY THEY SHOULD BE
PUTTING UP THEIR DUKES
137
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,078
IN THE QUAD,
BUT THEY ARE CHOOSING
138
00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:57,079
TO BE MATURE.
139
00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:58,733
- FINE.
YOU WANT MATURITY?
140
00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,952
I'’M GIVING UP MY TICKET.
HAVE FUN AT THE CONCERT.
141
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,302
- YAY!
THAT MEANS I WIN.
142
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:04,826
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, STOP!
143
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,219
DO YOU GUYS, UH, KNOW ANYONE
144
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,047
WHO MIGHT WANT JAKE'’S TICKET?
145
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:11,659
'’CAUSE I THINK I KNOW A GIRL
WHO COULD REALLY USE
146
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,791
A NIGHT OF LOVE, LAUGHTER,
AND MUSIC.
147
00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:17,404
TALKING ABOUT ME.
148
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,231
- VAL WAS RIGHT.
149
00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:21,233
IT WASN'’T FAIR THAT I WAS IN
A SOLID RELATIONSHIP WITH LUKE
150
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,931
WHILE MATTY
WAS GETTING HIT ON BY GIRLS
151
00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,454
WHO DIDN'’T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO SPELL "MONOGAMY."
152
00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:26,282
HE DESERVED BETTER.
153
00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:27,718
- NOW THAT MY EX
HAS EXED HIMSELF
154
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,198
OUT OF OUR PLANS,
WHO SHOULD WE INVITE?
155
00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:30,460
- I'’M COOL WITH WHOEVER.
156
00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:33,289
I'’LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
157
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:35,247
- THIS IS GONNA SOUND WEIRD,
158
00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:38,207
BUT I KIND OF WISH MATTY HAD
A GIRL TO BRING TO THE CONCERT.
159
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,991
- HOLD THE IPHONE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
160
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:42,429
- SEEING MATTY MOVE ON
LIKE I HAVE WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY.
161
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:43,908
- I CALL BLUFFNANIGANS, JENNA.
162
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,954
NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEIR EX
DATE OTHER PEOPLE.
163
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:48,391
- I DO. I WANT MATTY TO DATE.
- REALLY?
164
00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:49,653
WELL, IF YOU'’RE SO SURE,
165
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:50,915
WHY DON'’T YOU SET HIM UP
YOURSELF?
166
00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:52,830
- MAYBE I WILL.
GOT ANY SUGGESTIONS?
167
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:57,444
- AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I DO.
168
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,923
EVA.
169
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:00,534
SHE'’S SO DOWN-TO-EARTH
AND NONTHREATENING.
170
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:01,535
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
171
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:02,884
- SETTING UP MATTY
172
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:04,320
WITH ONE OF THE HOTTEST GIRLS
IN SCHOOL
173
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,756
WOULDN'’T BE MY FIRST CHOICE...
174
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,628
OR SECOND OR 90TH.
175
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,107
- SEE?
I TOLD YOU, JENNA.
176
00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:11,545
PUT A TBD
ON YOUR NBD ATTITUDE.
177
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:12,937
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'’RE WRONG.
178
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:14,243
HEY, EVA.
179
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:17,028
- MOTHER "F,"
I WASN'’T SERIOUS.
180
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:19,248
- HEY, GIRLS.
YOU BOTH LOOK SUPER CHIC TODAY.
181
00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:20,554
WHAT'’S UP?
- I WAS WONDERING.
182
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:22,860
HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT LIVE MUSIC?
183
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,913
- WOW!
WHAT A COOL CAR, TAMARA.
184
00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:34,568
JUST REMIND ME TO PUT
A PAPER BAG OVER MY HEAD
185
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:36,178
WHEN WE ROLL UP
TO THE VENUE, OKAY?
186
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:38,528
- PRESS PAUSE
ON THE UNGRATE HATE, SADIE.
187
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,182
WOULD YOU RATHER BE DRIVING
YOUR WIENERMOBILE
188
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:42,358
TO THE CONCERT?
189
00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,447
- YOU'’RE SHOWING VISIBLE SIGNS
OF DISCOMFORT.
190
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:47,189
BACK MASSAGE COMMENCES NOW.
191
00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:49,017
- NOW THAT I HAD ACCEPTED
TAMARA'’S CHALLENGE
192
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:50,714
AND GOTTEN MATTY AND EVA
TOGETHER,
193
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:53,282
IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO DO
A LITTLE MASSAGING OF MY OWN.
194
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:55,110
I LOVE YOUR DRESS, EVA.
- OH, THANKS.
195
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,982
IT WAS A GIFT FROM
AN OLD FRIEND--ALEXANDER WANG.
196
00:06:57,982 --> 00:06:59,027
- UGH.
- TOO STRONG?
197
00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:00,637
- TOO DESPERATE.
198
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,385
- YOU KNOW, YOU TWO
LOOK REALLY GOOD TOGETHER.
199
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:11,431
- OH, YOU THINK?
200
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,389
- EXCUSE ME. OH, SORRY.
201
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:16,479
HEY, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
202
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:17,872
- I JUST WANT YOU TO HAVE
A GOOD TIME TONIGHT--
203
00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:19,395
NO HIDDEN AGENDA.
204
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:22,442
- OKAY, WELL,
YOU'’RE BEING WEIRD, BUT OKAY.
205
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,269
- PLAYING MATCHMAKER
WITH AN EX
206
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:26,576
PROVES YOU'’VE GONE
FROM POINT "A" TO POINT CRAY.
207
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,186
- I'’M NOT CRAZY.
208
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:30,101
MAYBE ONCE YOU FINALLY GET OVER
JAKE, YOU'’LL UNDERSTAND.
209
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:31,625
- PLEASE.
I'’M SO OVER JAKE.
210
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:33,627
- CAN WE GO?
211
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:35,803
- ♪ WE WALK LIKE
THERE'’S NOTHING WRONG ♪
212
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:44,464
♪
213
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,161
- RUDE. GIVE IT BACK.
214
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:47,902
- CAN YOU NOT LOOK AT YOUR PHONE
WHILE DRIVING?
215
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,338
YOU ARE WAY TOO OBSESSED
WITH JAKE.
216
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,644
IT'’S NOT HEALTHY.
217
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,689
- PLEASE TELL ME
SOMEONE HERE HAS ALCOHOL.
218
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,909
IF I HAVE TO SHARE
THIS GROSS OXYGEN POOL
219
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,954
WITH YOU LOSERS,
THE LEAST YOU COULD DO
220
00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:58,565
IS GET ME DRUNK
SO I DON'’T REMEMBER IT.
221
00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,131
- I LEFT MY FLASK AT HOME,
222
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,785
BUT WE CAN GET DRINKS
WITH OUR FAKES AT THE SHOW.
223
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:03,308
- NO ONE HERE HAS A FAKE.
224
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:05,615
- [clears throat]
I DO.
225
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:10,707
- MATTY, THIS WON'’T EVEN GET YOU
INTO AN R-RATED MOVIE.
226
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,666
IT'’S OKAY; WE CAN STOP
BY THIS PLACE DOWNTOWN.
227
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,189
THEY DO FAKES ON THE QUICK.
228
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,408
I GOT MY FIRST I.D. THERE
WHEN I WAS, LIKE, 15.
229
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,628
- YOU TOLD US YOU WERE
AT BOARDING SCHOOL
230
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:21,065
IN SWITZERLAND
WHEN YOU WERE 15.
231
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:24,155
- LE ROSEY, YES,
AND I WAS DATING A DJ IN L.A.
232
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:25,853
THAT WOULD FLY ME OUT
ON THE WEEKENDS AND STUFF.
233
00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,942
- FROM SWITZERLAND?
234
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:30,205
- A COUPLE OF XANNIES
ON THE PLANE,
235
00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:31,815
AND THE DISTANCE FEELS
LIKE NOTHING.
236
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,034
- THE SHOW'’S GONNA START SOON.
237
00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,252
DO WE REALLY HAVE TO DO
ALL THIS WORK
238
00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,253
FOR JUST A COUPLE DRINKS?
239
00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:36,733
- OH, COME ON, JENNA.
240
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:38,518
WE ALL KNOW YOU ROLL
WITH THE OLDER CROWD NOW.
241
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,042
BUT US CHILDREN, WE STILL GOT
TO FEND FOR OURSELVES.
242
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:42,304
- OKAY, WHATEVER, I'’LL TAKE US.
243
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,828
JUST PUT THE ADDRESS
IN MY GPS.
244
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:50,399
- ♪ WE WALK, WE WALK, WE WALK
LIKE NOTHING'’S WRONG ♪
245
00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:53,054
♪ WE WALK LIKE
THERE'’S NOTHING WRONG ♪
246
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,838
[siren wailing]
247
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:56,927
- EVA, YOU NEGLECTED
TO TELL US THIS PLACE
248
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,364
WAS ON THE CORNER
OF HEP C AND RAPE.
249
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,844
- OH, IT'’S FINE.
WE CAN PARK HERE.
250
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:01,889
SERIOUSLY, I'’VE PARKED HERE
ALL THE TIME.
251
00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,238
IT'’S NEVER BEEN A PROBLEM.
252
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:04,761
- EVA, YOU'’VE BEEN EVERYWHERE,
253
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,241
AND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.
254
00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:08,896
WOULD YOU PLEASE CONSIDER
BEING MY LIFE COACH?
255
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:10,593
- SURE, I'’M ALWAYS HAPPY
TO HELP THOSE IN NEED.
256
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,424
SADIE, CAN WE TALK FOR A SEC?
257
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,208
- UGH.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
258
00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,776
- I HAVE THIS GREAT PHOTO
OF YOU FOR YOUR I.D.
259
00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:25,956
- NICE TRY, YOU SKETCHY SKITCH.
260
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:28,306
NOTHING HAPPENED THAT NIGHT,
AND YOU KNOW IT.
261
00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,004
- I KNOW.
262
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,875
IT JUST KIND OF LOOKS
LIKE SOMETHING DID.
263
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,574
I WONDER WHAT AUSTIN
WOULD THINK.
264
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,576
- YOU WOULDN'’T DARE.
265
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,055
- PROBABLY NOT.
266
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:39,796
BUT IF YOU'’RE AT ALL WORRIED,
267
00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:42,103
YOU MIGHT WANT TO THINK ABOUT
BEING WAY LESS BITCHY TO ME.
268
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:45,106
[rock music]
269
00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:52,200
♪
270
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,376
- YOU FOLKS LOST?
271
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,944
PINKBERRY'’S DOWN THE STREET.
272
00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:59,816
- HEY, BABE.
HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
273
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:02,079
WE'’RE HERE FOR I.D.s.
274
00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:05,387
- WHITE BREAD, PERMA-SCOWL,
YOU TWO,
275
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,954
IN THE BACK, NOW!
276
00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,129
- YES, SIR.
277
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:17,225
- JENNA, JUST SO I'’M CLEAR
ABOUT WHAT'’S GOING ON,
278
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:20,532
DID YOU INVITE ME TO THE CONCERT
TO SET ME UP WITH MATTY?
279
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,839
- NOT EXACTLY,
BUT IF YOU'’RE INTO MATTY,
280
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,580
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I'’D BE TOTALLY COOL WITH IT.
281
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,321
- SERIOUSLY?
282
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:28,149
- YEAH, IT'’S CLEAR
YOU GUYS HAVE CHEMISTRY,
283
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:30,586
AND I DON'’T WANT TO GET
IN THE WAY OF THAT.
284
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,849
- I'’M SO RELIEVED
YOU'’RE NOT ONE OF THOSE GIRLS
285
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:34,111
THAT'’S PSYCHO ABOUT HER EX.
286
00:10:34,111 --> 00:10:35,547
YOU'’RE AWESOME.
287
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,636
[camera shutter clicks]
288
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:40,509
- WHAT DO YOU WANT
YOUR NAME TO BE?
289
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,206
- AUSTIN WELCH.
- NO, AUSTIN.
290
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,252
YOU HAVE TO CREATE A FAKE NAME.
291
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:48,648
- BUT THAT WOULD BE LYING.
- DUH, THAT'’S THE POINT.
292
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,607
- AUSTIN S. WELCH.
293
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:52,652
[camera shutter clicks]
294
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,655
[tattoo needle buzzing]
295
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,395
- THAT LOOKS SO PAINFUL.
296
00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:58,832
- GETTING THEM REMOVED
HURTS MORE.
297
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,747
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
298
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,444
WHEN I GOT RID
OF ALL MY TATTOOS LAST YEAR,
299
00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:03,967
I HAD TO DRINK STRAIGHT TEQUILA
TO GET THROUGH IT.
300
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,316
- WHY'’D YOU GET RID OF THEM?
301
00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:07,275
- THINGS CHANGE.
YOU NEED TO CLEANSE.
302
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:10,539
- SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING
I NEED TO DO WITH MY TATTOO.
303
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:11,845
- DOUBTFUL.
304
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,455
I BET IT'’S SEXY.
SHOW ME.
305
00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:15,936
- [sighs]
306
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:21,768
- OH, THAT'’S AN EASY FIX.
307
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:24,248
"4 EVA," SEE?
308
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,728
- WELL, THAT WAS QUICK.
309
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,251
WITH JUST A TOUCH OF HER PALM,
310
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,471
EVA HAD FOUND A WAY
TO ERASE MY PAST WITH MATTY,
311
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,081
NOT THAT IT BOTHERED ME.
312
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,693
MATTY'’S AND MY HISTORY
WAS EXACTLY THAT--HISTORY.
313
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:41,222
- YO, PROM KING AND QUEEN,
314
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:42,049
FRONT AND CENTER.
315
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:48,229
- HEY, DROP THE PHONE.
316
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:49,796
- JAKE JUST TWEETED
THAT HE'’S IN A HOT TUB
317
00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,145
MACKIN'’ ON SOME GROUPIES.
318
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:53,277
WTF?
319
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:55,584
I'’M THE ONLY GIRL HE SHOULDN'’T
BE GIVING ORGASMS TO.
320
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:58,326
[cell phone clicking]
321
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,122
STOP IT!
322
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:14,821
YOU'’RE BEING A BUGABOO, JENNA.
I'’M FINE.
323
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:17,301
- DO YOU THINK MATTY'’S UPSET
WITH ME FOR SETTING HIM UP?
324
00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:18,650
I MIGHT HAVE JUMPED THE GUN
ON THIS.
325
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,786
- FURIOUS.
HE MIGHT NEVER GET OVER IT.
326
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:27,181
- YOU GUYS, GUESS WHAT NAMES
WE CHOSE FOR OUR I.D.s.
327
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:30,271
WILLIAM AND KATE,
BECAUSE, DUH, WE'’RE ROYALTY.
328
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,707
- WOW.
HOW ROMANTIC.
329
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:33,491
WHOA!
WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
330
00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:35,624
MY PLAN TO MAKE MATTY HAPPY
WAS WORKING.
331
00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:38,453
SO WHY WAS I SUDDENLY
FEELING SO UNHAPPY?
332
00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:40,498
IT'’S NOT LIKE I STILL
HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM.
333
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:43,806
HOLY [bleep],
I STILL HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM.
334
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:44,981
- LET'’S TEST THESE BABIES
335
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,417
AT THE LIQUOR STORE
DOWN THE STREET.
336
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,418
- WE'’RE ALREADY LATE.
LET'’S JUST GO.
337
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,203
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
338
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,073
I'’D ACTUALLY LOVE TO GET
A BOTTLE OF THIS ROSE
339
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,249
THAT LUKE TURNED ME ON TO.
340
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:55,209
- EVA, WOULD YOU BE UP
FOR SOME CLASSY PBR?
341
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,646
- IT'’S MY FAVORITE.
- UGH. FINE. GO.
342
00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:58,995
BUT I'’M STAYING HERE.
343
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,475
I WOULD HAVE TO LATHER MYSELF
IN PURELL
344
00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:01,998
BEFORE STEPPING INTO
THAT ETCH-A-SKETCH PLACE.
345
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,568
[cell phone clicking]
346
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,489
- EXCUSE ME.
347
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:15,882
DO YOU HAVE THE TIME?
- EW!
348
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,231
DO YOU NOT OWN A CELL PHONE?
349
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:18,406
- I DO NOW.
350
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:19,711
- [gasps]
OH, NO, YOU DON'’T!
351
00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:21,452
THIS PHONE IS MY LIFELINE!
352
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:23,977
MY TEXTS, MY MUSIC,
MY CONTACTS, MY PHOTOS,
353
00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:25,674
MY TWITTER, MY PINTEREST,
354
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:28,155
AND MY COMPREHENSIVE NOTES
DEDICATING MY FIVE-YEAR PLAN!
355
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,765
BACK OFF, BITCH!
356
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:31,114
- HEY, LET YOUR PHONE GO!
357
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:32,986
- THANKS.
358
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,422
- I HAD IT
UNDER CONTROL, JENNA.
359
00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:36,293
- NO, YOU DIDN'’T.
YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.
360
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:39,166
- ACTUALLY, SHE HAS MULTIPLES.
361
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,821
YOUR CAR IS BEING TOWED.
362
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,474
- STOP!
363
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,649
MY FRIEND SAID IT WAS OKAY
TO PARK HERE!
364
00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:46,869
- I SAID IT'’S USUALLY OKAY.
365
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,262
- PLEASE CAN I HAVE
MY CAR BACK?
366
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:50,264
- CONSIDER IT FOR $200.
367
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:51,743
- GUYS,
PUT ALL YOUR MONEY IN, NOW.
368
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,882
- THANKS.
- HEY! I THOUGHT YOU SAID--
369
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,753
- SAID I WOULD CONSIDER IT.
370
00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:04,365
- WHAT?
371
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,671
[engine turning over]
372
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:09,631
GUESS WE'’LL NEVER FORGET
THIS FIRST DATE.
373
00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:10,850
- THAT MADE THE THREE OF US.
374
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,422
- JUST SO YOU KNOW,
I ONLY CAME BECAUSE OF MATTY.
375
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,642
- SORRY TO PULL YOU
OUT OF YOUR GROUPIE ORGY.
376
00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:22,731
HOPE YOU DISINFECTED
BEFORE YOU CAME.
377
00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:24,776
OR SHOULD I SAY AFTER?
378
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:26,082
- [clears throat]
379
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,521
- OH, AM I CRUSHING YOU?
- NAH, YOU FEEL GREAT.
380
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,567
- WOW, GLAD YOU TWO
ARE ENJOYING YOURSELVES
381
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,917
AFTER OUR FRIEND GOT MUGGED
AND WE LOST ALL OUR MONEY.
382
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,050
- IS THERE A PROBLEM, JENNA?
- I COULDN'’T SAY.
383
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,312
IN MY QUEST TO MOVE ON
FROM MATTY,
384
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,879
I HAD ENDED UP
WHERE I STARTED--
385
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,881
A JEALOUS, INSECURE WRECK.
386
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,187
NO. NO PROBLEM AT ALL.
387
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,102
- LET'’S GIVE EVA
A ROUND OF APPLAUSE
388
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:49,671
FOR ALL HER GENIUS IDEAS
THAT GOT US INTO THIS HELLHOLE.
389
00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:50,802
- [clapping]
390
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:51,629
[cell phone chimes]
391
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:56,634
- OH, WHAT'’S THAT?
- IT'’S NOTHING.
392
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,201
KEEP CLAPPING.
393
00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,029
- [clapping]
394
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:07,602
- YOUR THREATS
DON'’T SCARE ME, EVA.
395
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:10,257
AUSTIN AND I DON'’T HAVE
A TYPICAL RELATIONSHIP.
396
00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:12,824
IF YOU HAVEN'’T NOTICED,
HE'’S A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
397
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:18,178
I CAN BE HONEST WITH HIM
ABOUT ANYTHING,
398
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,875
SO YOUR LITTLE PLAN
TO BLACKMAIL ME
399
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:22,138
IS AS USELESS AS YOU ARE.
400
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,795
- IT'’S GOING TO COST YOU $400
TO GET IT OUT OF THE IMPOUND.
401
00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,623
- JAKE, YOU PAY FOR IT.
402
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:29,972
CONSIDER IT MY SETTLEMENT
IN THE JAKARA BREAKUP.
403
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,452
- NO, I'’M DONE.
404
00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:32,975
I DON'’T CARE ENOUGH
TO FIGHT YOU ANYMORE.
405
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:36,022
- T, CAN WE SIDEBAR?
406
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,675
YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP IT
WITH JAKE.
407
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:39,721
YOU'’RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF.
- OH, PLEASE, JENNA.
408
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:41,549
EVER SINCE MATTY AND EVA
STARTED HITTING IT OFF,
409
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,899
YOU'’VE BEEN GUZZLING DOWN
HATERADE.
410
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,901
AT LEAST I'’M OWNING MY CRAZY
INSTEAD OF LEASING IT.
411
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,121
- [giggles]
412
00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:56,781
- SO DO WE MAKE OUT NOW?
413
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,740
- NOT YET.
I NEED TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
414
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:03,266
- OH, I HAVEN'’T SEEN THIS PHOTO
OF YOU BEFORE.
415
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:05,138
YOUR SKIN LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.
416
00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:07,401
OH, AND THERE'’S MATTY.
417
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:10,360
- IT WAS TAKEN ONE NIGHT AFTER
WE HAD FALLEN ASLEEP TOGETHER--
418
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,754
TOTALLY INNOCENT,
NOTHING HAPPENED.
419
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,538
- OKAY. GREAT.
420
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,718
YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU'’RE GONNA PUKE.
421
00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:22,155
- MATTY AND I KISSED,
OKAY?
422
00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:24,026
AND IT MEANT NOTHING,
AND I PROMISE
423
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,072
IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
424
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:30,076
[sighs]
I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.
425
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:32,121
- I'’M REALLY GLAD YOU TOLD ME.
426
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,775
- REALLY? I WAS NERVOUS.
427
00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:35,733
BUT I KNEW YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND.
428
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:38,954
- OH, I UNDERSTAND.
429
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,738
YOU'’RE A LIAR,
AND I NEED TO BREAK UP WITH YOU.
430
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:43,480
- WHAT?
AUSTIN, I DIDN'’T LIE.
431
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,178
I'’M TELLING YOU NOW.
432
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:46,962
- YOU LIED WHEN YOU SAID
YOU WOULD BE MONOGAMOUS,
433
00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:49,269
AND YOU JUST LIED AGAIN
BY SAYING THAT YOU DIDN'’T LIE.
434
00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:51,097
- AUSTIN, YOU'’RE GETTING THIS
TOTALLY TWISTED.
435
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:52,446
- WHEN SOMEONE LIES
ABOUT FIDELITY
436
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,056
IN A RELATIONSHIP,
THE PROBABILITY
437
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:56,232
THAT THEY'’LL LIE AGAIN
GOES UP BY MORE THAN 80%.
438
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,842
- I'’M NOT SOME STATISTIC.
439
00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:00,062
I'’M YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
I JUST NEED TO--
440
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,890
- I'’M SORRY,
BUT THIS IS ABOUT WHAT I NEED,
441
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,848
AND THAT'’S 100% CERTAINTY
THAT YOU WON'’T BETRAY MY TRUST.
442
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:05,372
- I CAN GIVE YOU THAT.
443
00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,895
JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE
TO PROVE IT.
444
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:09,028
- BUT THAT'’S
THE PROBLEM, SADIE.
445
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,986
YOU'’VE ALREADY PROVEN TO ME
THAT YOU CAN'’T.
446
00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:18,428
- HALLELUJAH!
WE ARE FREE.
447
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:19,560
THEY ARE FINALLY RELEASING
MY CAR FROM CAPTIVITY.
448
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,170
- HOW?
449
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:24,043
- MY EXPERT
NEGOTIATION SKILLS, OBVI.
450
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,132
MY GRANDMOTHER LET ME CHARGE IT
TO HER CREDIT CARD.
451
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:28,351
- ARE YOU OKAY, SADIE?
452
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,745
WHERE'’S AUSTIN?
453
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,747
- MATTY, CAN I TALK TO YOU
BEFORE WE GO?
454
00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:35,967
- SURE.
455
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:38,840
- I'’M SORRY
IF I WAS RUDE TONIGHT.
456
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,408
I THOUGHT I WOULD BE COOL WITH
SEEING YOU DATE OTHER PEOPLE,
457
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,105
BUT IT BOTHERED ME
MORE THAN I THOUGHT.
458
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,628
- I NOTICED.
459
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:47,936
- I PROMISE NOT TO INTERFERE
WITH YOU OR EVA.
460
00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,112
YOU TWO HAVE MY BLESSING
TO BE TOGETHER.
461
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:53,376
- YOUR BLESSING?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
462
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,770
DO YOU EVEN KNOW
HOW RIDICULOUS THAT SOUNDS?
463
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,554
SHOULD I HAVE GIVEN YOU
MY BLESSING
464
00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,295
WHEN YOU CHEATED ON ME
WITH COLIN LAST YEAR
465
00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:01,906
OR MAYBE WHEN YOU STARTED
TO DATE LUKE?
466
00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:04,300
WE DON'’T NEED
EACH OTHER'’S BLESSINGS, JENNA.
467
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,475
WE'’RE NOT TOGETHER.
468
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:09,262
HEY, LET'’S GO.
469
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:10,219
EVA, YOU GONNA COME WITH?
470
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,310
- [mouths words]
471
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:18,793
- JENNA,
WE'’RE GONE, BABY, GONE.
472
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,142
COME ON.
473
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,668
- HEY!
GET OUT OF MY CAR, MAN!
474
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,496
JESUS!
475
00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:27,236
YOU TOO!
476
00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:39,205
- CLOSE CALL, BOYS.
477
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:40,554
- BUMMER.
478
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,251
WE DIDN'’T EVEN GET
TO SEE ECHOSMITH PLAY.
479
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:44,340
- AT LEAST WE GOT
SOME FAKE I.D.s OUT OF IT.
480
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,168
- OH, YOU GUYS GOT FAKES?
LET ME SEE.
481
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,952
- I'’LL SHOW YOU MINE
IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS.
482
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,174
"JOHN SMITH"?
483
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:53,915
JAKE, THIS IS SO LAME.
484
00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:56,439
- OH, WHATEVER, WILLIAM, KATE.
- WHATEVER.
485
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,528
IT'’S CUTE. WE'’RE CUTE.
- YEAH.
486
00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,313
- WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE CALL JAKE A CAR
487
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,792
AND THEN YOU AND I
CAN GET OUT OF HERE?
488
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,578
- I LOVE THAT IDEA.
- GREAT.
489
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:05,796
JAKE, WE'’RE CALLING YOU
AN UBER.
490
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,233
YOU'’RE TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE.
491
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:11,411
- YOU DON'’T HAVE TO DO THAT.
- YES, I DO.
492
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,108
UGH, IT SMELLS LIKE TWEAKERS
IN HERE.
493
00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:14,240
ONE SEC.
- YEAH.
494
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,552
- I THOUGHT EVA WAS TOO GOOD
FOR HIGH SCHOOL GUYS.
495
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:25,033
- LOOKS LIKE SHE MADE
AN EXCEPTION THERE, JAKEY.
496
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,687
[siren wails]
497
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:29,777
- [bleep],
HIDE THE BOOZE, MAN.
498
00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:33,911
[indistinct chatter
over police radio]
499
00:19:33,911 --> 00:19:35,652
- YOU TWO BEEN DRINKING TONIGHT?
500
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:38,089
- WELL, YES, SIR, WE HAVE,
BUT OUR FRIEND
501
00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,569
WENT TO GO CALL US A CAR, SO...
502
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:40,962
- YEAH, WE DIDN'’T START
DRINKING
503
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:42,268
UNTIL WE GOT TO THE CONCERT,
504
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,270
WHICH WE DIDN'’T EVEN
END UP SEEING.
505
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,923
- HEY, I'’M NOT ASKING
FOR YOUR LIFE STORY HERE.
506
00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:47,490
- THAT'’S GREAT,
507
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,100
BECAUSE I DON'’T HAVE
A LIFE STORY TO TELL YOU.
508
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,014
- SHOW ME YOUR I.D.s.
509
00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,763
YOU LITTLE CANDY-ASSES
GETTING A THRILL
510
00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,374
BY BEING IN THIS PART OF TOWN?
511
00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:02,766
- YEAH, YOU DON'’T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT US,
512
00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:04,464
SO WHY ARE YOU BEING
SUCH A DICK?
513
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,727
- SHUT UP, DUDE.
514
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:09,208
- THAT'’S IT.
OUT OF THE CAR RIGHT NOW.
515
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,731
RIGHT NOW. COME ON.
- WE DIDN'’T DO ANYTHING WRONG.
516
00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,211
- THOSE OPEN CONTAINERS
JUST JUMP IN YOUR CAR
517
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,212
WHEN YOU WEREN'’T LOOKING?
518
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,213
- HOW'’D YOU GUESS, HUH?
519
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,301
- GET!
- MATTY!
520
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:19,087
[cell phone chimes]
521
00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:26,486
- SOMETIMES IT FELT LIKE
I WAS STUCK
522
00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:28,314
IN AN EMOTIONAL PRISON
523
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:30,707
WAITING TO BE SET FREE
FROM MY FEELINGS FOR MATTY,
524
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:33,928
AND NOW THAT I HAD LUKE,
THE HANDCUFFS WERE COMING OFF.
525
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:35,277
- GETS EVEN BETTER.
526
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:36,757
PRECINCT LOCKUP
IS ALL FULL.
527
00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:39,194
YOU BOYS GET TO SPEND
THE NIGHT IN COUNTY.
528
00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,500
- [sighs]
529
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:45,853
- NEXT ON AWKWARD...
530
00:20:45,853 --> 00:20:47,376
WE CAN STILL MAKE IT
TO SCU BY MIDNIGHT
531
00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:48,682
AND SPEND OUR NIGHT
WITH REAL MEN.
532
00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:49,813
- EVERY ONE OF THEM
IS LIKE A LIVING,
533
00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,685
BREATHING J. CREW CATALOG,
ONLY HOTTER.
534
00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:53,600
HEY THERE.
- [belches]
535
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,819
- SURPRISE!
536
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:57,430
- DON'’T WE GET ONE PHONE CALL?
537
00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:58,822
- I'’D RATHER DIE IN PRISON
THAN CALL JENNA RIGHT NOW.
538
00:20:58,822 --> 00:21:00,389
- GONNA GIVE YOU
HIS BROTHER'’S NUMBER.
539
00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:01,956
HE'’LL KNOW EXACTLY
HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION.
540
00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:03,131
- I WENT TO JENNA.
SHE SAID SHE COULDN'’T HELP.
39860
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