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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:03,655 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:04,656 - CLASS RANKING? 3 00:00:04,656 --> 00:00:05,657 JENNA, WHERE ARE YOU? 4 00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:07,094 - T, I AM 137. 5 00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:09,226 SO MATTY HAD COMPLETELY REPLACED ME IN HIS LIFE. 6 00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,359 - STOP MOPING OVER MATTY. 7 00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:13,361 - DID YOU GET ANOTHER PHONE? - THIS ONE'’S AUTUMN'’S. 8 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,753 - WHO'’S AUTUMN? - AUTUMN SAN DIEGO. 9 00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,016 THE ONLINE PERSONA I CREATED TO CATFISH JAKE. 10 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:21,804 - IT WAS MY FIRST COLLEGE OVERNIGHT VISIT, 11 00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:23,588 AND I HAD REINVENTION ON MY MIND. 12 00:00:23,588 --> 00:00:25,677 COLLEGE WAS THE END OF JENNA HAMILTON, THAT GIRL, 13 00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:27,853 AND THE BIRTH OF JENNA HAMILTON, IT GIRL. 14 00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:30,682 I COULD SEE MYSELF NOW, ATTENDING LITERARY EVENTS, 15 00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:32,597 TALKING BOOKS WITH CUTE BOYS, 16 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,512 BANTERING OVER COFFEE. 17 00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:36,906 BUT FIRST, I HAD TO ACE MY INTERVIEW AND GET IN. 18 00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:39,343 - MAN, THIS PLACE IS FULL OF MEMORIES-- 19 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:42,477 KEGS AND EGGS, FRISBEE GAMES IN THE QUAD, 20 00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:45,132 CHILI-CHEESE MONSTER BURGERS. 21 00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,090 BEST FOUR YEARS OF MY LIFE... 22 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:50,093 EXCEPT FOR EVERY YEAR THAT I'’VE SPENT WITH YOU. 23 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:51,529 - UH-HUH. 24 00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:52,530 - OKAY, WHAT TIME IS YOUR INTERVIEW? 25 00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:53,531 - 9:30 TOMORROW MORNING. 26 00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:54,532 - DING! DING! CORRECT. 27 00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:55,620 MINE'’S AT 9:00. 28 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:56,926 SO WE'’LL WAKE UP AT 8:00, 29 00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:58,188 DO ONE LAST RUN THROUGH OUR ANSWERS, 30 00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,233 GET MAX CAFFED, 31 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:00,756 AND SHOW UP TEN MINUTES EARLY 32 00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:02,062 TO SHOW THAT WE HAVE MINDS FOR BUSINESS 33 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,106 EVEN IF WE ALSO HAVE BODS FOR SIN. 34 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,499 - "BODS"? - JENNA. 35 00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:06,066 NOW IS NO TIME FOR DISTRACTION ACTION. 36 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,850 ASK ME ONE OF THE QUESTIONS. 37 00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,634 - "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BRING TO THE SCHOOL?" 38 00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:11,549 - TALENT, AMBITION, MINDFULNESS, 39 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,769 ABILITY, REFLECTION, AND ACRONYMS. 40 00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:14,813 TAMARA. 41 00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,815 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 42 00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:17,947 - I THINK MY WRITING SKILLS WOULD BE AN ASSET, 43 00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:19,514 AS WELL AS MY LEADERSHIP QUALITIES-- 44 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:20,950 - UGH, THEY SNOOZE, YOU LOSE, 45 00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,734 AND THAT ANSWER MAY AS WELL HAVE BEEN AN AMBIEN. 46 00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:24,345 YOU NEED TO GET YOUR [bleep] TOGETHER. 47 00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,215 IF WE DON'’T GET INTO THE SAME COLLEGE, 48 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,695 WE CAN'’T BE ROOMMATES, 49 00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:28,088 AND THEN IT'’S THE END OF JENNARA, 50 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,264 AND THEN IT IS MURDER-SUICIDE TIME, 51 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,830 AND YOU KNOW I'’M GONNA HAVE TO DO ALL THE WORK ON THAT ONE. 52 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,310 - OH, LACE, LOOK. 53 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,182 OVER THERE, WE HAD THIS PARTY 54 00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,314 COLUMBUS DAY WEEKEND SOPHOMORE YEAR. 55 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:38,750 IT GOT CRAZY. 56 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:42,145 - "O" TO THE "M" TO THE "F" TO THE "G." 57 00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:43,799 THIS PLACE IS LIKE A PINTEREST BOARD 58 00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:46,802 FULL OF BANGABLE DUDES JUST COME TO LIFE. 59 00:01:46,802 --> 00:01:50,110 PIN. PIN. PIN. PIN. 60 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,894 - NOW WHO'’S SUCCUMBING TO DISTRACTION ACTION? 61 00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:54,331 - YOU'’RE RIGHT. WE NEED TO GO HORSEY STYLE. 62 00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:55,724 FOCUS ON THE TASK AT HAND. 63 00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:57,029 COME ON. 64 00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,596 - NOT SO FAST. 65 00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:01,773 I BROUGHT A SPECIAL GIFT TO HELP YOU FIT IN, HUH? 66 00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:03,601 NOW YOU'’LL BE THE SPITTING IMAGE OF YOUR OLD MAN. 67 00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:04,820 - I'’M NOT SURE THAT'’S A GOOD THING. 68 00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:06,648 - GREAT. 69 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,040 I'’D GONE FROM HOT INCOMING FRESHMAN 70 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,738 TO LARGE-SIZED LINEBACKER IN 10 SECONDS FLAT. 71 00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:15,352 THIS WAS THE HOTTEST GUY I'’D EVER SEEN. 72 00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:17,267 HE MADE YOUNG LEONARDO DICAPRIO 73 00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:18,921 LOOK LIKE OLD LEONARDO DICAPRIO. 74 00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:20,792 - PIN. 75 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:23,230 PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN. 76 00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:26,015 - HEY, WANT TO GO TO A PARTY TONIGHT? 77 00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,193 - SORRY. INVITE ONLY. 78 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:38,941 [keys clacking, thud] 79 00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:40,464 - IT'’S NOT THAT I DON'’T LOVE 80 00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:42,205 HEARING YOU SING OFF-KEY TO IMAGINE DRAGONS, 81 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:44,555 BUT ANY IDEA WHEN YOU'’RE GONNA HAVE YOUR CAR AGAIN? 82 00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:47,515 - ♪ PROBABLY TWO MONTHS FROM NEVER ♪ 83 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:50,779 MY PARENTS ARE SO PISSED I TOTALED MY CAR. 84 00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:53,042 - YEAH, IT WAS PRETTY STUPID OF US. 85 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:55,566 - WE WERE HAVING FUN, MAN. [bleep] THEM. 86 00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:56,828 - [laughs] 87 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,700 DUDE, WHAT IS YOUR DEAL? 88 00:02:58,700 --> 00:02:59,962 EVERY DAY, YOU'’RE, LIKE, TWO SECONDS AWAY 89 00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:01,529 FROM GOING BEAST MODE. 90 00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:03,270 - NOTHING. 91 00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:06,447 - MATTHEW, WHAT'’S WRONG? 92 00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:08,449 - WHAT IS THAT, YOUR OPRAH FACE? 93 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,150 - UGH. ALL RIGHT, FINE. 94 00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,760 I'’M-- 95 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:19,416 [cell phone vibrates] - HOLD THAT THOUGHT. 96 00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:20,765 OH, SORRY. I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE AUTUMN. 97 00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,202 WE'’VE BEEN TEXTING EACH OTHER EVERY DAY. 98 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,420 SHE'’S REALLY COOL. 99 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:24,421 - LOOK AT THESE CLASSES-- 100 00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:26,118 "WOMEN'’S STUDIES 113. 101 00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:27,772 "FROM CLEOPATRA TO ANGELINA JOLIE. 102 00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,644 POWER BITCHES THROUGH THE AGES." 103 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,559 THIS IS THE PERFECT SCHOOL FOR ME. 104 00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,430 - WHILE TAMARA WAS OBSESSING ABOUT THE COURSE CATALOG, 105 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:35,302 I WAS CATALOGUING MY INSECURITIES. 106 00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:38,130 THIS PLACE SEEMED AWESOME, BUT COULD I REALLY GET IN? 107 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:39,567 - OKAY, NEXT STOP ON OUR TOUR. 108 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,786 - EVERY TIME ONE OF MY BROS PASSED A FINAL, 109 00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:44,615 WE'’D STREAK THROUGH THIS QUAD AND THEN JUMP IN THAT FOUNTAIN. 110 00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:47,444 I PUKED IN THOSE BUSHES AND THOSE ONES... 111 00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,446 OH, AND THOSE ONES RIGHT THERE-- - WE GET IT, KEVIN. 112 00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,448 YOU WENT TO COLLEGE. 113 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,624 - ON OUR RIGHT, WE HAVE THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT. 114 00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,365 DO WE HAVE ANY WRITERS IN THE GROUP? 115 00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:57,454 COOL. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO WRITE? 116 00:03:57,454 --> 00:03:59,456 - OH, I'’M NOT THE WRITER, BUT MY DAUGHTER IS. 117 00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:01,066 I KNOW, I KNOW. 118 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:03,286 HOW CAN I BE OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE A 17-YEAR-OLD? 119 00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:05,114 BUT I WAS YOUNG AND DUMB, 120 00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:07,508 AND YOU KNOW IT JUST TAKES ONE TIME WITHOUT A CONDOM. 121 00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:08,770 - OKAY. 122 00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,424 WELL... 123 00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:12,513 - JENNA. - JENNA. 124 00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:13,688 A LOT OF GREAT WRITERS HAVE GONE HERE. 125 00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:15,124 WHO ARE YOUR FAVORITE AUTHORS? 126 00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:15,820 - I KNOW THIS. 127 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:17,126 I KNOW THIS. 128 00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:18,475 I'’M A WRITER. 129 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,911 OF COURSE I KNOW MY FAVORITE AUTHORS. 130 00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:21,522 SO WHY WAS GARFIELD THE ONLY WORD I COULD THINK OF? 131 00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:22,697 HE'’S NOT EVEN AN AUTHOR. HE'’S A CAT. 132 00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,481 OH, GOD. 133 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:27,136 - OF COURSE, WRITERS ARE ALWAYS THE SILENT TYPE. 134 00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:29,660 STRAIGHT AHEAD, YOU'’LL SEE THE STUDENT UNION. 135 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,836 - YOU'’RE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS. 136 00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:34,143 I CALLED YOU IN HERE BECAUSE I'’M CONCERNED. 137 00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:35,797 YOU'’VE BEEN DISTANT. 138 00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:38,190 YOU'’RE SKIPPING SCHOOL. YOU QUIT YOUR JOB. 139 00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,367 I'’VE SEEN THESE SIGNS BEFORE. 140 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:41,846 YOU DON'’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 141 00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,718 YOU'’RE QUESTIONING EVERYTHING 142 00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:46,764 YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT YOURSELF. 143 00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,070 YOU'’RE GAY. 144 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:50,333 - WHAT? 145 00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:51,900 NO. NO, I'’M NOT. - IT'’S OKAY, SWEETHEART. 146 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,815 YOU DON'’T HAVE TO PRETEND. 147 00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:56,208 I MEAN, WHY ELSE WOULD YOU WORK AT PRESTON & BOONE? 148 00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:57,862 - THAT WAS JUST A JOB. 149 00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:59,734 - OKAY, AND 2 BOYS, 1 BUTT IS JUST A MOVIE. 150 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,997 LOOK, IT GETS BETTER. 151 00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,173 THIS IS AN AMAZING TIME TO BE GAY. 152 00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:06,218 JUST LOOK AT THAT ELLEN LADY. 153 00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,003 JUST BE CAREFUL. 154 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,744 A CUPCAKE LIKE YOU COULD GET EATEN ALIVE OUT THERE. 155 00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,746 - AGAIN, UH, NOT GAY. 156 00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:13,443 - OF COURSE NOT. 157 00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:16,011 LET'’S TALK ANDERSON COOPER. 158 00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,447 - WELL, THAT'’S THE END OF THE TOUR. 159 00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:18,753 FOR THOSE OF YOU STAYING OVERNIGHT, 160 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,494 YOUR HOSTS ARE WAITING OVER THERE TO MEET YOU. 161 00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:22,147 - AFTER MY TOUR DE HUMILIATION, 162 00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:24,889 ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS NEVER SEE LUKE AGAIN. 163 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:27,109 BUT IF I WANTED TO PROVE MYSELF WORTHY OF ADMISSION, 164 00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:28,937 I NEEDED TO FACE MY FEARS, 165 00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:31,505 EVEN IF I DID NEED A BOOST OF CONFIDENCE FIRST. 166 00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:34,943 IT WAS TIME TO BREAK THE ICE. 167 00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:36,510 LUKE... 168 00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,338 WILLIAM FAULKNER, JOAN DIDION, 169 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,904 AND I'’M NOT ASHAMED TO SAY 170 00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:41,515 THAT I HAVE READ EVERYTHING BY V.C. ANDREWS. 171 00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:43,038 - NICE HIGH-LOW BLEND. 172 00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,996 A WOMAN AFTER MY OWN HEART. - REALLY? 173 00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:46,433 I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE BOOKSHELF 174 00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:47,608 FULL OF MURAKAMI AND MARTIN AMIS. 175 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,436 - SURE, ON THE TOP SHELF. 176 00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:50,698 ONCE YOU GET TO THE BOTTOM, 177 00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:52,439 THERE'’S AN AWFUL LOT OF DAN BROWN. 178 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:55,137 - WE ARE GOING TO BE TOTALLY BASKIN ROBBINS TONIGHT. 179 00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:56,834 - 31 FLAVORS OF FUN? - DUH. 180 00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,706 OH, MY GOD, COME TO THE PARTY TONIGHT 181 00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:00,751 MY SORORITY'’S CO-HOSTING WITH THE LAMBDA DELTA RHO BOYS. 182 00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:02,362 THE THEME IS TIGHT AND BRIGHT. 183 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,406 - THAT'’S MY FAVORITE LOOK. 184 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:04,929 - I'’M THE PRESIDENT. 185 00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:05,974 - OH, MY GOD, I'’M A PRESIDENT TOO. 186 00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:07,497 - [gasps] 187 00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:08,716 - HEY, YOU SHOULD STOP BY 188 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:09,978 THIS FUND-RAISER TONIGHT. 189 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,371 THE LITERACY CENTER-- 190 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,503 MY BAND AC/V.C. ANDREWS IS PLAYING. 191 00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:15,636 - CAN'’T RESIST A GOOD PUN. 192 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:18,421 I'’LL TRY TO MAKE IT. - DO THAT. 193 00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:23,557 - HEY, SHOULDN'’T YOU BE AT CHEER PRACTICE? 194 00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,515 - NOT UNLESS I WANT TO RALPH! 195 00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:27,865 HAVE YOU SEEN LISSA'’S FACE WHEN SHE CALLS OUT CHEERS? 196 00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:29,389 BARF CITY. 197 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,651 AND I CAN'’T EVEN BONE MY SORROWS AWAY, 198 00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:32,217 BECAUSE AUSTIN'’S AWAY 199 00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,219 AT SOME DUMBASS ROBOTICS COMPETITION ALL WEEKEND. 200 00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:36,221 LIFE SUCKS. 201 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:38,049 - TELL ME ABOUT IT. 202 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,834 AUTUMN HASN'’T RESPONDED TO MY TEXTS ALL DAY. 203 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,662 USUALLY WE'’RE IN CONSTANT CONTACT. 204 00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:43,838 THIS HARD TO GET... 205 00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:46,318 IT'’S DRIVING ME CRAZY. - THAT IS IT. 206 00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,843 NO MORE WALLOWING. LET'’S DO SOMETHING FUN TONIGHT. 207 00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:51,149 MY MOM'’S OUT OF TOWN. WHY DON'’T YOU GUYS COME OVER? 208 00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:53,064 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE GROUNDED. - WHO'’S LEAVING THE HOUSE? 209 00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,936 - I'’M IN. 210 00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:56,633 WHEN'’S THE LAST TIME THE THREE OF US HUNG OUT? 211 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,114 - AWESOME, OKAY. COME OVER AROUND 9:00? 212 00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:01,508 - YOU GUYS HAVING A PARTY? I CAN BRING THE BOOZE. 213 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,074 I HAVE THIS HUGE STASH OF CRISTAL LEFT OVER 214 00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,902 FROM WHEN I WAS DATING THIS DUMB WANNABE RAPPER. 215 00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:07,557 - WE CAN GET OUR OWN ALCOHOL. THANKS. 216 00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,472 - NO, EVA, YOU SHOULD COME. 217 00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,300 - REALLY? I DON'’T WANT TO INTRUDE. 218 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,998 - I'’M SO SURE. - WE'’D LOVE IT. 219 00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:15,783 - AWESOME. I'’LL SEE YOU THEN. - OKAY. 220 00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,654 - WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 221 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,526 THAT GIRL IS A STRAIGHT-UP CREEPER. 222 00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:22,398 SHE'’S ALWAYS UP IN EVERYONE'’S BUSINESS. 223 00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:26,141 - WHO'’S A CREEPER? WHO'’S UP IN EVERYONE'’S BUSINESS? 224 00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:28,099 - I KNOW YOU WANTED TO GO TO THAT FUND-RAISER, 225 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:29,492 BUT THAT IDEA GIVES ME A SAD. 226 00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:30,928 ANYWAY, WE HAVE TO START THINKING 227 00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,103 WHAT SORORITY WE WANT TO PLEDGE, 228 00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,801 BECAUSE WE DO NOT WANT TO BE GREEK GEEKS. 229 00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:35,106 - MAYBE T HAD A POINT. 230 00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:36,760 THIS WAS OUR FIRST COLLEGE PARTY-- 231 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,067 DRINKING WINE, BOYS IN BLAZERS, 232 00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,721 SMART CONVERSATIONS ABOUT POLITICS 233 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,070 AND ART WITH A CAPITAL "A," AND-- 234 00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,903 - HEY, EVERYBODY, EDWARD FORTYHANDS! 235 00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:50,513 WHOO! 236 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:59,217 - MY DREAMS OF COLLEGIATE SOPHISTICATION 237 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:01,655 HAD BEEN POPPED LIKE SO MANY BOTTLES OF OFF-BRAND VODKA, 238 00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:03,178 WHICH, ALONG WITH WATERY BEER, 239 00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:05,354 WAS ALL THERE WAS TO DRINK AT THIS PARTY. 240 00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:08,052 - BUT REALLY, BEING A KAPS GAMS IS ALL ABOUT TRADITIONS-- 241 00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:11,621 YOU KNOW, PANCAKE BREAKFASTS, FORMALS, MATCHING TATTOOS. 242 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,101 I MEAN, LIKE, ISN'’T IT ALL TO DIE FOR. 243 00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:15,364 - DEATH HAS NEVER SOUNDED SO GOOD. 244 00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:18,628 - YOUR SORORITY IS AMAZE-TITS. 245 00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,848 VODKA PLUS GIRL TALK PLUS COMMUNAL CLOSET 246 00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:22,414 EQUALS HAPPY TAMARA. 247 00:08:22,414 --> 00:08:23,894 - OH, MY GOD, YOU HAVE TO RUSH KAPPA GAMMA. 248 00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,548 YOU ARE, LIKE, THE PERFECT SISTER. 249 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,074 - I'’M GONNA GO TO THE LITERACY FUND-RAISER. 250 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,162 - OH. 251 00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,294 OKAY, I'’LL COME WITH YOU. 252 00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:33,774 - NO, NO, THAT'’S OKAY. 253 00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:34,775 YOU'’RE HAVING FUN HERE. STAY. 254 00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:35,776 - ARE YOU SURE? 255 00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:37,212 - YES. 256 00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:38,735 IN HIGH SCHOOL, 257 00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,520 TAMARA AND I WERE ALWAYS ON THE SAME PAGE. 258 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,434 EVEN IF WE GET INTO THE SAME SCHOOL, 259 00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:44,524 WAS THIS THE END OF JENNARA? 260 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,787 - OOH! 261 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,528 POUR ME A SHOT. 262 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,878 - SERIOUSLY, WHY HASN'’T AUTUMN TEXTED YET? 263 00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:52,532 DO YOU THINK SHE'’S WITH ANOTHER GUY? 264 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,968 - I'’VE GOT TO '’GRAM THIS. 265 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:59,016 ANYWAY, THAT'’S THE LAST TIME I PARTIED AT BUTTER. 266 00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:01,541 - THAT WAS AN AMAZING STORY. - YEAH. 267 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,020 SO AMAZING I THINK IT WAS JUST ACTUALLY 268 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,109 A RETOLD EPISODE OF GOSSIP GIRL. 269 00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,676 - THAT SHOW IS REALLY TRUE TO LIFE. 270 00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,156 I GUESS IF YOU'’VE NEVER BEEN TO NEW YORK, 271 00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:10,332 IT'’D BE KIND OF HARD TO BELIEVE, 272 00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:13,509 BUT FOR US NEW YORKERS, IT ACTUALLY SEEMED KIND OF TAME. 273 00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:14,902 NO, YOU'’RE NOT TAME. 274 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:17,382 YOU'’RE A WILD MAN. I CAN TELL. 275 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,428 - OH, YEAH? - FOR SURE. 276 00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:22,387 - OH, YEAH. WILD OLD MATTY MCKITTEN. 277 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,346 [laughter] 278 00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:25,826 - MCKITTEN. 279 00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:27,523 OH, MY--I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT. 280 00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:29,264 RAWR! - [hisses] 281 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:30,482 - WHAT'’S MCKITTEN? 282 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,614 - INSIDE JOKE. 283 00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,270 - YOU KNOW WHAT'’S CRAZY 284 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:36,488 IS THAT THERE'’S A HOT TUB RIGHT THERE 285 00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:37,489 AND WE'’RE NOT ALL IN IT. 286 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,056 - YES! HOT TUB. 287 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,667 GREAT. SADIE? 288 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,973 - I WOULD, BUT I DON'’T HAVE MY SUIT. 289 00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:44,061 - WHO NEEDS ONE? 290 00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,674 - OKAY. 291 00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:55,812 - OH, WOW. 292 00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,945 - SADIE, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON'’T FEEL COMFORTABLE. 293 00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:58,815 - WHY WOULDN'’T I? 294 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:07,258 - DAMN, SADIE. 295 00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:08,999 - THAT'’S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THE SOUTH OF FRANCE. 296 00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,435 EVERYONE'’S TOPLESS. 297 00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:12,699 THEY'’RE NOT PRUDES LIKE AMERICANS. 298 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,490 SADIE, I REALLY ADMIRE HOW COMFORTABLE YOU ARE 299 00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,839 WITH YOUR BODY. 300 00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,841 YOU'’RE SO BRAVE. - I'’M NOT BRAVE. 301 00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:30,847 I HAVE AMAZING TITS, 302 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:34,285 UNLIKE YOU AND YOUR SAD FLOPPERS. 303 00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:47,734 - HEY, YOU MADE IT. 304 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,781 - WOULDN'’T MISS AC/V.C. ANDREWS. 305 00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,130 - TOTALLY. 306 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,871 WAIT. YOU KNOW THAT WAS A JOKE, RIGHT? 307 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:57,047 - YEAH, YEAH. 308 00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:59,093 BUT YOU'’RE TOTALLY MISSING OUT 309 00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:00,703 ON AN OPPORTUNITY FOR A SONG CALLED FOR THOSE ABOUT TO READ. 310 00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:02,574 - YOU READ ME ALL NIGHT LONG. 311 00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:04,664 - HIGHWAY TO THE ATTIC. 312 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,927 THAT ONE-- THAT ONE WAS A STRETCH. 313 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,977 - HEY, UH, I'’LL BE RIGHT BACK. 314 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:16,763 - UH-OH. WAS IT MY PUN THAT SENT LUKE RUNNING, 315 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,591 OR WAS HE JUST DISTRACTED BY A SHINIER OBJECT? 316 00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:22,377 UGH, WERE COLLEGE GUYS JUST VARSITY HIGH-SCHOOL BOYS? 317 00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:25,336 [applause] 318 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,863 - GROWING UP, MY MOM HAD TO WORK MULTIPLE JOBS 319 00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:31,560 JUST TO KEEP THE LIGHTS ON, 320 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,257 AND THERE WASN'’T A LOT OF SPARE TIME 321 00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:34,998 TO HELP ME LEARN HOW TO READ. 322 00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:37,261 PROGRAMS LIKE THIS HELPED ME LEARN TO LOVE BOOKS, 323 00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:40,395 AND I AM SO PROUD TO BE PASSING IT ON 324 00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:43,354 TO THE NEXT GENERATION, 325 00:11:43,354 --> 00:11:46,140 ALONG WITH MY LOVE OF BAD PUNS. 326 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:48,011 - WATCHING LUKE SPEAK ELOQUENTLY, 327 00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:50,405 I COULDN'’T BELIEVE HOW SEXY A SPEECH COULD BE. 328 00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:52,973 COLLEGE GUYS WEREN'’T VARSITY HIGH-SCHOOL BOYS. 329 00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:55,845 COLLEGE GUYS WERE A WHOLE DIFFERENT BALL GAME. 330 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,499 - HOW WAS THAT DOUBLE MONSTER BURGER? 331 00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:59,153 - GREAT. 332 00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,895 [groans] I THINK I NEED TO LIE DOWN. 333 00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:04,114 - SO WHERE ARE WE GOING NEXT? 334 00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:06,377 THAT TIKI BAR ON MAIN STREET LOOKED FUN. 335 00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,553 OOH, MAYBE DANCING. 336 00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:09,903 HMM. 337 00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:12,296 KEVIN. 338 00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:12,993 KEVIN! 339 00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:23,220 - OH, I GOT TO PASS. 340 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,048 I'’M IN THE MAGIC ZONE, 341 00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:27,094 AND I DO NOT WANT TO HIT HANGOVER CITY--POPULATION, T. 342 00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,660 OR WORSE, CRUISE INTO THE YAK ZONE. 343 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:29,661 - OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 344 00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,489 IT'’S TOTALLY FINE. 345 00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,361 THE TRICK IS TO KEEP A TALLY OF HOW MANY YOU DRINK. 346 00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:34,057 HERE. 347 00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:39,715 [both giggle] 348 00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:40,716 OOH, SORRY. 349 00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:41,717 [both gasp] 350 00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,110 OH, MY GOD, MRS. HAMIL-- 351 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:43,806 - SHH! 352 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,293 - THAT'’S THE BEST PART ABOUT COLLEGE. 353 00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:54,774 YOU GET EXPOSED TO ALL THESE COOL PEOPLE, 354 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,211 LIKE PRETTY GIRLS WITH KILLER TASTE IN BOOKS. 355 00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:04,784 DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE? 356 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,612 - I ABSOLUTELY DO. 357 00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:10,790 [drum roll] 358 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,835 [all cheer] 359 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,316 - WE SHOULD DO MORE SHOTS. - YOU GOT IT. 360 00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:17,405 - BOOP! 361 00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:18,928 - TO NEW FRIENDS. 362 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:22,323 OH, PARTY FOUL. 363 00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:23,803 - OKAY. 364 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,456 TIME FOR BED FOR YOU. 365 00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,284 - SADIE, I CAN PUT HIM TO BED. 366 00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:28,720 - I'’M SURE YOU'’D LOVE THE CHANCE, 367 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,200 BUT YOU'’VE DONE ENOUGH. 368 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,594 COME ON, MATTY. 369 00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:34,465 - ALL RIGHT. 370 00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:40,863 - IT'’S JUST A LITTLE CATFISHING. IT'’S TOTALLY NO BIG DEAL. 371 00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,299 OH, MY BUTT'’S BUZZING. 372 00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,088 - OH, BUMMER. 373 00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:49,785 HE TEXTED AUTUMN BEFORE HE TEXTED YOU. 374 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,091 - BUT HE TEXTED ME-- 375 00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:53,920 ME, TAMARA, NOT JUST AUTUMN. 376 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:54,921 IT'’S TIME TO CELEBRATE. 377 00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:02,102 [both laugh] 378 00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:04,234 - I'’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOME WATER. 379 00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:06,106 TRY NOT TO PUKE ON YOURSELF. 380 00:14:24,341 --> 00:14:27,344 - [sighs] OKAY. 381 00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,738 DRINK THIS. 382 00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:32,393 OH, NOT TOO FAST. 383 00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:38,051 - SADIE, YOU ARE SO NICE TO ME. 384 00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:41,271 YOU KNOW, EVERYONE THINKS YOU'’RE SO MEAN, 385 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:43,795 AND YOU ARE, BUT YOU ARE SO NICE TO ME. 386 00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,581 - OKAY, DRUNKY. - YOU ARE. 387 00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:50,367 YOU'’RE SO NICE, AND YOU ARE SO PRETTY. 388 00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:52,717 [laughs] 389 00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:53,718 - OH. 390 00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,372 - SO PRETTY. 391 00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:58,201 HEY, WHY DIDN'’T WE EVER HOOK UP? 392 00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:01,509 - OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS? 393 00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:04,077 I TRIED. 394 00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:07,384 DON'’T YOU REMEMBER PASSING OUT THAT NEW YEAR'’S EVE? 395 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,996 - OH, THAT WAS DUMB. 396 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:12,868 THAT WAS-- OH, THAT WAS SO DUMB. 397 00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,914 IT WAS A BIG REGRET. 398 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,351 - REALLY? - MM-HMM. 399 00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:18,961 THE BIGGEST. 400 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,361 - EW! - [spits] 401 00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:29,363 IT'’S LIKE KISSING MY SISTER... 402 00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:30,799 [both laugh] 403 00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:33,019 WHICH, FOR ALL I KNOW, YOU COULD BE. 404 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,107 - WHAT? 405 00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,893 - I'’M ADOPTED. 406 00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,851 - SURE, MCKIBBEN. - NO, IT GETS BETTER. 407 00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:42,593 MY PARENTS-- THEY NEVER TOLD ME. 408 00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:44,944 - OH, MY GOD. 409 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,120 - YEAH. 410 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,209 - DO THEY KNOW YOU KNOW? 411 00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:51,254 - THEY LIED TO ME MY WHOLE LIFE, 412 00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:55,302 SO WHY SHOULD I TELL THEM THE TRUTH? 413 00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,133 IT JUST SUCKS. 414 00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:11,013 - I KNOW. 415 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:13,711 I KNOW. I'’M SORRY. 416 00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:16,932 - HEY, WHAT'’S A SEVEN-LETTER WORD FOR PALS, 417 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,281 STARTS WITH A "C"? 418 00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:19,369 - WAKING UP WITH A HIGH-SCHOOL BOY, 419 00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:20,892 YOU SCRAMBLE TO PULL YOUR CLOTHES ON 420 00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,155 AND GET HOME BEFORE CURFEW. 421 00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:24,070 WAKING UP WITH A COLLEGE BOY, 422 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,246 COFFEE AND CROSSWORDS. 423 00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:27,856 I COULD GET USED TO THIS. 424 00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,727 "CRONIES." - AH. 425 00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,468 YOU'’RE A GENIUS. 426 00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,993 YOU'’RE TOTALLY GONNA ACE THAT INTERVIEW. 427 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,081 - OH, MY GOD. 428 00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,865 WHAT TIME IS IT? 429 00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:40,956 - 8:30. 430 00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:41,957 - I SHOULD GO. 431 00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:42,958 I KNEW THE SCORE. 432 00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,220 I DIDN'’T NEED TO DTR, 433 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,527 BECAUSE THIS "R" WAS ALREADY D'’D. 434 00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:49,747 THIS WAS A ONE-NIGHT THING, AND THAT'’S OKAY. 435 00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:52,489 - HEY, I'’M GONNA BE IN PALOS VERDES LATER THIS WEEK. 436 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:53,838 I'’D LOVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 437 00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:55,927 - I'’D LIKE THAT. 438 00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:58,321 - THEN IT'’S A DATE. 439 00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:03,892 - OKAY, THAT LAST PART WAS A LIE. 440 00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:07,026 THIS IS WAY BETTER. 441 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:11,726 [cell phone vibrates] 442 00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:14,729 - [coughs] 443 00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:15,730 [groans] 444 00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:17,384 OW, OW, OW, OW. 445 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:20,865 [bleep]! 446 00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:22,606 OW, THAT HURT. 447 00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:40,537 - REALLY? WALK OF SHAME? 448 00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:41,799 AREN'’T YOU A LITTLE OLD FOR THAT? 449 00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:44,019 - [bleep]. LISTEN, NOTHING HAPPENED. 450 00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:46,326 - I WASN'’T WORRIED ABOUT THAT. - AND WHY IS THAT? 451 00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:50,504 BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU, I HAD QUITE A FEW OPPORTUNITIES. 452 00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,506 - LACEY, I TRUST YOU COMPLETELY. 453 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:53,333 I'’M JUST... 454 00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:56,336 I'’M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED. 455 00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:58,381 - OH, PLEASE. ARE YOU PARENTING ME? 456 00:17:58,381 --> 00:17:59,382 BECAUSE EW. 457 00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:00,905 - WE'’RE ADULTS, LACEY. 458 00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,777 - I'’M WELL AWARE OF THAT, KEVIN. 459 00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:04,561 - WHICH MEANS THAT WE DON'’T STAY OUT ALL NIGHT. 460 00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:05,693 HOW WOULD IT LOOK FOR JENNA IF-- 461 00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:07,390 - OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? 462 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:08,391 SHUT UP. 463 00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:09,784 - EXCUSE ME? 464 00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,525 - YOU HAD FOUR YEARS OF DOING THIS. 465 00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,961 I NEVER GOT TO GO TO COLLEGE, 466 00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,484 AND I NEVER GOT TO BE IRRESPONSIBLE, 467 00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:18,009 BECAUSE I WAS BUSY RAISING OUR DAUGHTER. 468 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:21,056 SO I THINK I DESERVE ONE GOD DAMN NIGHT 469 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,058 OF THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE. 470 00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:24,755 AND FURTHERMORE, 471 00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:27,845 I JUST GOT IN FROM SIX HOURS OF FOREPLAY 472 00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:30,544 WITH SOME VERY HOT COLLEGE GUYS, 473 00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:34,983 SO SOMEBODY BETTER FINISH ME OFF, 474 00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:37,812 AND I MEAN PRONTO. 475 00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:39,901 - SO, MISS KAPLAN, 476 00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,772 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BRING TO THIS SCHOOL? 477 00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:43,861 - UH... 478 00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:46,386 T... 479 00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:48,127 T... 480 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,867 ACRONYMS. 481 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,347 TAMARA. 482 00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:52,783 - I'’M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND. 483 00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:56,396 WHAT ARE THOSE MARKS ON YOUR ARM? 484 00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:59,529 - THESE ARE REMINDERS 485 00:18:59,529 --> 00:19:03,925 OF ALL THE WAYS I WOULD BE AN ASSET TO THIS SCHOOL. 486 00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:05,796 THERE ARE... 487 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,798 OH, GOD, 12 MARKS-- WAYS. 488 00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,235 THERE ARE 12 WAYS. 489 00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:10,236 - AND WHAT ARE THOSE WAYS? 490 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:13,804 - WELL, THE FIRST IS, UM... 491 00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,154 UM... 492 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,764 OH, GOD, WHAT IS THAT? 493 00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:17,895 - OH, THAT. 494 00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:19,332 [retching quietly] 495 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,116 IT'’S JUST MY HARVARD DIPLOMA. 496 00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:25,860 - AND THAT'’S WHEN I REALIZED 497 00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:27,601 THAT THE TRANSFORMATIVE POWER OF LITERATURE 498 00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:28,819 IS NOTHING WITHOUT LITERACY. 499 00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:30,430 IF I'’M ACCEPTED HERE, 500 00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:31,996 I WANT TO VOLUNTEER AT THE LITERACY CENTER 501 00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:33,694 TO PASS ON WHAT I'’VE LEARNED TO THE NEXT GENERATION. 502 00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:35,696 - THAT'’S FANTASTIC. 503 00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:37,132 I HAVE TO TELL YOU, MISS HAMILTON. 504 00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,047 YOU SEEM LIKE AN EXCELLENT FIT. 505 00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,235 [camera shutter clicks] 506 00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:04,377 - HEY. 507 00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:06,292 HOW WAS YOUR INTERVIEW? - KILLED IT. 508 00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:07,902 BUT THIS SCHOOL ISN'’T THAT FUN. 509 00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:09,904 I DON'’T THINK I WANT TO GO HERE AFTER ALL. 510 00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:10,905 - I THINK I DO. 511 00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:12,602 BEFORE THIS WEEKEND, 512 00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:14,082 I PICTURED COLLEGE AS HIGH SCHOOL BUT BETTER-- 513 00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:16,345 T AND I IN A PERMANENT SLUMBER PARTY, 514 00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:18,304 MY PARENTS HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY. 515 00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:20,306 AFTER THIS WEEKEND, IT WAS CLEAR 516 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:22,525 COLLEGE WOULDN'’T BE ANYTHING LIKE THE WAY I PICTURED IT. 517 00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,135 [cell phone vibrates] 518 00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:38,193 [engine turning over] 519 00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:40,369 IT WOULD BE EVEN BETTER. 520 00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,114 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... 521 00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:47,550 - THE MR. PHHS PAGEANT IS IN FIVE DAYS. 522 00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:48,725 - ARE YOU COMING TO JENNA'’S PAGEANT? 523 00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:49,726 - MOM. - I'’D LOVE TO COME. 524 00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:51,162 - AH. - GREAT. 525 00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:52,729 - YOU SAID YOU WERE DONE CATFISHING. 526 00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:54,383 - ALMOST. - THINGS ARE GETTING INTENSE. 527 00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:57,647 I'’M REALLY INTO HER. - YOU'’VE NEVER EVEN MET HER. 528 00:20:57,647 --> 00:20:59,649 - HELLO? - AUTUMN, DID YOU HEAR MY SONG? 529 00:20:59,649 --> 00:21:02,130 - I LOVED IT. 530 00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:03,131 - IT'’S YOU. 37322

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