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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:04,221 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... - YOU'’RE SUSPENDED. 2 00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:05,614 - YOU WILL ALL BE SUBMITTING AN ESSAY 3 00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:10,010 FOR THIS YEAR'’S ISSUE-- "HEROES AND VILLAINS." 4 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,315 - LET'’S JUST GET OUT OF HERE. 5 00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:12,186 YOU'’RE JUST MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR, 6 00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:14,275 AND A SUCKY ONE AT THAT! 7 00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:16,364 IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO TAKE THAT BITCH DOWN. 8 00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,152 [bell ringing] 9 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,415 - A PIECE OF WRITING WAS NEVER MORE PERFECT 10 00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:27,288 THAN IN THAT FLEETING MOMENT BETWEEN FINISHING IT AND HEARING 11 00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:29,333 SOMEONE ELSE'’S OPINION. IN THAT MOMENT, 12 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:33,120 MY VAL EXPOSE WAS STILL PURE, STILL POETRY, STILL-- 13 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,165 - PASS. - WHAT? 14 00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:36,862 - I AM NOT GONNA PUBLISH THIS. 15 00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:38,255 -I COULDN'’T LET MY "TELL ALL" BECOME A "TELL NONE." 16 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,430 - THAT'’S CENSORSHIP! 17 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:41,389 - MAYBE, BUT THAT IS BULL[bleep], 18 00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:43,521 AND THE LITERARY MAGAZINE DOES NOT PRINT CRAP. 19 00:00:43,521 --> 00:00:44,435 - IT'’S ALL TRUE. - MS. MARKS CALLED 20 00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:45,958 YOU FOR DATING ADVICE, 21 00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:47,699 SHE LISTED YOU AS HER PERSONAL EMERGENCY CONTACT, 22 00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:49,005 AND SHE MADE YOU TOUCH HER BREAST? 23 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,267 - SHE THOUGHT SHE HAD A LUMP. 24 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,791 - TROUBLING, BUT STILL "NO." 25 00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:55,011 YOU WASTED YOUR SUSPENSION PASSING THIS KIDNEY STONE, 26 00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:57,796 AND I'’M NOT GONNA PRINT IT. - WHY? 27 00:00:57,796 --> 00:00:58,841 IS IT TOO LONG? - NOPE. 28 00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:00,016 - TOO SHORT? 29 00:01:00,016 --> 00:01:01,583 - NOPE. - BAD SPELLING? 30 00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:02,714 TYPOS? - ARE YOU STILL HERE? 31 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:03,976 - I'’M NOT LEAVING UNTIL 32 00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:07,458 YOU TELL ME WHY YOU WON'’T PRINT IT. 33 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,547 - BECAUSE IT'’S CRUEL. - CRUEL? 34 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,288 THE MAN HAD INVENTED THE CONCEPT. 35 00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:14,813 YOU TOLD ME TO WRITE THE TRUTH, AND THIS IS THE TRUTH. 36 00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,206 YOU HAVE TO PUT IT IN THE MAGAZINE. 37 00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,208 YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'’T CENSOR US. 38 00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:19,601 - WHAT IF SOMEONE WROTE A PIECE LIKE THIS 39 00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,559 ABOUT YOU, POINTING OUT ALL OF YOUR FLAWS? 40 00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,039 - IF IT WERE TRUE, THEN I'’D DESERVE IT, 41 00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:24,910 JUST LIKE SHE DOES. 42 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:27,174 - JENNA, WORDS HAVE POWER, 43 00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:30,351 AND THAT'’S SOMETHING THAT ALL WRITERS NEED TO UNDERSTAND. 44 00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:38,359 THIS BOOK HAD A HUGE IMPACT ON MY JOURNEY AS A WRITER. 45 00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:41,101 MAYBE IT CAN DO THE SAME FOR YOU. 46 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,624 - HART'’S FAVORITE BOOK. 47 00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:44,278 I COULDN'’T WAIT TO NOT READ IT. 48 00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:45,366 - AS FOR YOUR PIECE, 49 00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:46,497 I CANNOT STOP YOU FROM 50 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:49,370 STILL-BIRTHING IT INTO THE WORLD. 51 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:52,547 I JUST WANT YOU TO THINK IT OVER. 52 00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:53,896 - FINE. 53 00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,506 BUT I'’M NOT GONNA CHANGE MY MIND. 54 00:01:57,639 --> 00:02:00,032 IT FELT GOOD TO DEFY AUTHORITY, 55 00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:02,905 AND I COULD STAND BY MY WORDS AND STILL LOOK VAL IN THE EYE... 56 00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,389 FOR A MOMENT. 57 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,698 [Mideau'’s Feet to the Sun] 58 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:15,657 ♪ 59 00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:18,268 - JENNA, MY GIRL? 60 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,923 CAN WE JUST THAW OUR SUSPENSION TENSION? 61 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:24,361 WE BOTH SAID A LOT OF THINGS WE PROBABLY REGRET. 62 00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:25,667 MOSTLY YOU SAID THEM - I DON'’T REGRET ANYTHING. 63 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:28,104 - LIVE WITHOUT REGRET. THAT'’S MY MOTTO TOO. 64 00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:30,237 LET'’S JUST END THIS STRUGGLE WITH A SNUGGLE. 65 00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,239 - LET'’S NOT. 66 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:33,588 ♪ 67 00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:35,372 - ♪ I'’LL TAKE THE ADVICE ♪ 68 00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,026 - IT'’S COOL. 69 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:39,681 WE'’RE STILL FRIENDS. FRIENDS FIGHT. 70 00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:41,552 IT'’LL ONLY MAKE US STRONGER! 71 00:02:41,552 --> 00:02:43,032 - WANT STRONGER LEADERSHIP? 72 00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:44,381 DON'’T BE A SUCKER. 73 00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:47,079 VOTE ABBY MARTIN FOR FRESHMAN TREASURER. 74 00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:48,733 - DO I HAVE FOOD IN MY BRACES? 75 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,300 DOES MY BACKPACK HAVE WHEELS? 76 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,694 DO I WONDER WHAT A PENIS FEELS LIKE? 77 00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:54,652 NO! WHY? 78 00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:56,524 '’CAUSE I'’M NOT A FREAKIN'’ FRESHMAN! 79 00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:58,961 - I'’M SORRY. - YES, WE'’LL TAKE SOME CANDY. 80 00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:00,354 GOOD LUCK. 81 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:02,051 - [laughs] WELL PLAYED. 82 00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:05,054 - BUT THESE SWEETS ARE A SOUR REMINDER. 83 00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:07,752 A.S.B. ELECTIONS ARE NEXT WEEK, AND JAKE HAS DONE NOTHING FOR 84 00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:10,364 HIS PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN. CAN YOU SECURE THE ASIAN VOTE? 85 00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:12,192 - OOH, ARE YOU JAKE'’S CAMPAIGN MANAGER? 86 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,195 - NO, I'’M HIS LIFE MANAGER, WHICH INCLUDES HIS CAMPAIGN. 87 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,936 IF HE'’S GONNA WIN, HE HAS TO WAKE THE SLEEPING DRAGON. 88 00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:20,374 - DONE! I SAY, ASIANS DO. 89 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,332 - CAN YOU HAVE THEM PUT A HIT OUT ON JENNA'’S NEW PERSONALITY? 90 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,421 - UGH, I JUST WISH SHE'’D BE HERSELF. 91 00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:26,684 - BE "HERSELVES" IS MORE LIKE IT. 92 00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:28,164 MAYBE SHE'’S HAVING A HARD TIME SEEING 93 00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,513 THROUGH HER PRETENTIOUS FAKE GLASSES. 94 00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:31,428 - [chuckles] [toilet flushes] 95 00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:38,000 - I DIDN'’T CARE WHAT THE BITCHES THOUGHT. 96 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:43,310 I HAD COLLIN. 97 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,442 MR. "HART-LESS" WON'’T PUBLISH MY ESSAY 98 00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:47,139 BECAUSE HE SAYS IT'’S CRUEL. 99 00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:49,229 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? - IT IS. 100 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,536 BUT IT'’S ALSO INSIGHTFUL AND CONTROVERSIAL, 101 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:55,800 LIKE ALL GREAT WRITING. 102 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,411 HEY, SO I'’M TAKING YOU OUT TONIGHT. 103 00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:58,890 MY BUDDY DAVE OSOKOW CAN GET US 104 00:03:58,890 --> 00:03:59,978 INTO A POP-UP CLUB DOWNTOWN. 105 00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:01,502 - CAN'’T. STILL GROUNDED. 106 00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:02,677 - SO WHAT? - I KNOW. 107 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,200 I JUST CAN'’T DEAL WITH 108 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,201 MY PARENTS'’ BULL[bleep]. 109 00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,986 - OKAY. BUT, CAN WE AT LEAST 110 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:10,075 TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME? 111 00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:12,382 - DEFINITELY. 112 00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:13,949 - WHERE ARE YOUR POSTERS? 113 00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:16,125 YOUR OPPONENT MYLES HAS TONS. 114 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:19,041 - MYLES NEEDS POSTERS. HE HAS NO BRAND AWARENESS. 115 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,478 I DON'’T NEED POSTERS. - YOU'’RE TOO COMPLACENT. 116 00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:24,176 YOU NEED TO STEP IT UP. NO CAMPAIGN, NO GAIN. 117 00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:25,787 HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS WE SHOULD BE DOING. 118 00:04:28,877 --> 00:04:31,227 - "AGGREGATE POLLING DATA." - MM-HMM. 119 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:32,750 - WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? 120 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,622 LOOK, I KNOW HOW TO WIN. 121 00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:36,188 I'’VE DONE IT EVERY YEAR WITHOUT YOUR LIST. 122 00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,584 [sighs] I'’M SORRY. 123 00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,151 HOW ABOUT I COME OVER TONIGHT AND WE MAKE POSTERS? 124 00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,153 - YES! WE'’LL PROMOTE YOUR PLATFORM 125 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:45,546 IN PUFF PAINT. 126 00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,199 [bleep], I HOPE I HAVE ENOUGH PUFF PAINT. 127 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,854 WHO AM I KIDDING? OF COURSE I DO. [giggles] 128 00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:51,943 - [sighs] 129 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,206 I'’M STILL SHIVERING FROM JENNA'’S COLD SHOULDER. 130 00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,121 - OH, YOU THINK IT'’S BAD FOR YOU? 131 00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:58,036 IMAGINE LIVING WITH HER. 132 00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:03,085 VAL! - HUH? WHAT? SORRY. 133 00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:04,826 WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING. 134 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,698 IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME WAY WE COULD INTERVENE. 135 00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,396 THAT'’S IT! AN INTERVENTION! 136 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,964 BUT WHO'’S GONNA LEAD IT? 137 00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:15,967 - DON'’T YOU DO THAT STUFF FOR A LIVING? 138 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,666 - NOT WELL, L-DAWG. NOT WELL. 139 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:21,103 WE'’LL NEED AN EXPERT. - [sighs] 140 00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,670 I KNOW ONE! 141 00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:24,976 - I'’VE BEEN TO TONS OF THESE THINGS. 142 00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,195 - EXCELLENT. CAN YOU WALK US THROUGH WHAT TO EXPECT? 143 00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:28,284 - MM. 144 00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,982 YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK OF IT, I REALLY DON'’T REMEMBER MUCH. 145 00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,462 I WAS FAIRLY HIGH WHEN IT WAS HAPPENING. 146 00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,116 - I'’M NERVOUS. 147 00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:35,683 I'’M GONNA NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO GO FIRST. 148 00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:37,641 - [gasps] CAN I GO FIRST? 149 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,556 I'’D LOVE THE CHANCE TO TELL JENNA 150 00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:40,992 ALL THE DIFFERENT WAYS SHE'’S BEEN A DISAPPOINTMENT. 151 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:44,561 AND DON'’T WORRY, I WON'’T HOLD ANYTHING BACK. 152 00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:46,084 THERE'’S NO TIME LIMIT, RIGHT? 153 00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:48,522 - MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE THE SILENT PEER PRESENCE. 154 00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:51,438 HOW'’S YOUR SUPPORTIVE NOD? 155 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:56,225 - I'’VE NEVER THROWN AN INTERVENTION BEFORE, 156 00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,488 BUT LUCKILY, GOOGLE HAS. 157 00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:02,710 I HID ALL THE SHARP OBJECTS, AND I PUT OUT PLENTY OF TISSUES. 158 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:06,496 AND, OH, I ALMOST FORGOT. I GOT MUNCHIES. 159 00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:08,629 - LADIES, I REALLY SHOULD BE THE ONE LEADING THIS INTERVENTION. 160 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,239 - [forced laugh] - TODAY ALONE, 161 00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:12,502 I GOT TWO PEOPLE TO STOP DRINKING. 162 00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,025 - AND ONLY THREE OR FOUR TO START. 163 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:16,201 - IF ANY OF YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING, 164 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:17,725 YOU'’D KNOW THAT MY TWITTER FEED, 165 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:20,249 @YOURHARSHTRUTH, IS BLOWING UP. 166 00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:22,860 PEOPLE CAN'’T GET ENOUGH OF MY UNFILTERED ADVICE. 167 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:26,386 - SOMEONE WANTS YOUR ADVICE? - YES. 168 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,213 AND HERE'’S A TIP FOR FREE-- 169 00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:30,172 THAT TOP COMES IN YOUR SIZE TOO. 170 00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:32,261 WE ALREADY KNOW YOUR BOOBS ARE HUGE. 171 00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:34,350 - WHY IS SHE HERE AGAIN? 172 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,525 - YOU WANTED A PEER PRESENCE, 173 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:36,483 AND LIL BITCH HAS NO FRIENDS. 174 00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:39,181 - RIGHT. 175 00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:40,312 - OKAY, HERE SHE COMES. 176 00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,663 PLACES, EVERYBODY! - OH! OH! 177 00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:45,492 - [sighs] - OH, GOD. 178 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:48,190 - ACT NATURAL. [door closes] 179 00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,193 - WHAT'’S GOING ON HERE? 180 00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:54,762 - OH! THEY JUST DROPPED BY... 181 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:57,286 UNEXPECTEDLY. - OOPS. 182 00:06:57,286 --> 00:06:58,853 - WHY DON'’T YOU COME CHAT WITH US? 183 00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:03,727 - YES, COME SIT IN THIS SEMICIRCLE OF FURNITURE, 184 00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,642 WHERE WE CAN ALL SEE EACH OTHER CLEARLY 185 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:08,689 AND FEEL ENCOURAGED TO SHARE. 186 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,441 - SO. - SO. 187 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:25,053 - SO. 188 00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:26,358 - [sighs] 189 00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:28,491 LIL BITCH, THIS IS YOUR INTERVENTION, UNH. 190 00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,450 - WHAT? - WHAT? 191 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,886 I-I THINK WE WERE SUPPOSED TO 192 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,757 BUILD TO THE ISSUE IN A GENTLE WAY. 193 00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,977 - YES. LET ME EXPLAIN. 194 00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:38,980 JENNA, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. 195 00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,764 YOU'’RE AN ASS[bleep]. 196 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,071 - YET AGAIN, THE GENTLE INTENT WAS LOST. 197 00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:46,248 - HONEY, WE'’RE JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 198 00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:49,207 - YOU'’VE BEEN DISTANT, AND... 199 00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:50,470 - IRRITABLE. 200 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,775 - YOU'’VE LOST ALL YOUR FRIENDS. 201 00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:55,039 - YOU COULD USE A GOOD HAIR SCRUB. 202 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:57,433 - WOW. 203 00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,521 I'’M TOUCHED. 204 00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:02,090 I SO APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN. 205 00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:03,221 THANK YOU, MOM. 206 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,093 I REALLY NEEDED THIS WAKE-UP CALL. 207 00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:07,791 - I MEAN, UH, ACTUALLY, IT WAS--IT WAS MY IDEA. 208 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,706 - OF COURSE. 209 00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,316 CAN I SAY SOMETHING? - MM-HMM. 210 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,712 - YOU'’RE ALL A BUNCH OF HYPOCRITES. 211 00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:18,149 SO [bleep] OFF! 212 00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,898 - MY ACCUSERS WERE TWO LOSERS, ONE USER, AND AN ABUSER. 213 00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:29,900 THEY WERE THE LAST PEOPLE I WOULD LISTEN TO, 214 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,076 AND I WAS SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME 215 00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,338 WHAT I SHOULD AND SHOULDN'’T DO. 216 00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:34,905 I WAS GONNA DO WHAT I WANTED, 217 00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:36,994 WHEN I WANTED, AND WITH WHOM I WANTED. 218 00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:38,518 NO ONE WAS GONNA STOP ME. [computer chirps] 219 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,868 - ♪ SINGING TILL THE SUN COMES UP ♪ 220 00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:43,087 ♪YOU AIN'’T GETTING A HOLD OF ME ♪ 221 00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:48,005 - VALERIE THOUGHT I NEEDED A WAKE-UP CALL? 222 00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,441 - ♪BONES BLEEDING IF BONES CAN BLEED ♪ 223 00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,879 - BUT IN REALITY, SHE WAS ABOUT TO GET ONE. 224 00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:56,927 - ♪SORE AND SEETHING ALL IN HARMONY ♪ 225 00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,147 ♪ YOU AIN'’T GETTING A HOLD OF ME ♪ 226 00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:01,628 - HONEY? 227 00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,412 I-I-- 228 00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,457 - ♪I CAN'’T BELIEVE YOU'’RE SERIOUS ♪ 229 00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:07,198 - DAMN IT! WE DIDN'’T SECURE THE PERIMETER. 230 00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:08,286 - ♪SHORT TAIL, LONG LEGS ♪ 231 00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:09,287 - CAN WE DRINK NOW? 232 00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:10,898 - [sighs] both: YES! 233 00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:15,467 - I DIDN'’T KNOW WHEN THE SISTERHOOD 234 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,992 OF THE BLATHERING SKANKS WOULD BE BACK, 235 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:18,862 AND I WASN'’T GONNA STICK AROUND TO FIND OUT. 236 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:21,212 - ♪DRAGGING BEHIND ME ♪ 237 00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:23,824 ♪TORN SAILS WHIPPING IN THE COLD DARK SEA ♪ 238 00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,390 - HEY. COUNT ME IN FOR TONIGHT. 239 00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:27,610 - ♪YOU AIN'’T GETTING A HOLD OF ME ♪ 240 00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,438 - HOLY CRAP! 241 00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:31,440 - I'’VE SELECTED DIFFERENT COLORS BASED ON 242 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,485 WHICH HALLWAYS THEY'’LL HANG IN, AND I'’VE CROSS-REFERENCED THEM 243 00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:35,487 WITH MY ELECTION WEEK OUTFITS. 244 00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:38,490 THIS, CANDIDATE ROSATI, 245 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:41,189 IS YOUR PROTOTYPE "POSTER WITH THE MOSTER." 246 00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,756 - THAT IS AWESOME. 247 00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:43,800 - TOLD YOU SO. - YOU DID. 248 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,976 YOU CAN TOTALLY MAKE ALL MY POSTERS. 249 00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:48,239 - UH, ICAN MAKE YOURPOSTERS? 250 00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:49,589 - YEAH. - JAKE! 251 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:53,157 THIS IS NOT A FREE RIDE, THIS IS A "WE" RIDE. 252 00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:55,159 WE'’RE DOING THIS TOGETHER. 253 00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,553 YOU NEED TO MAKE POSTERS SO THAT YOU CAN SHINE THROUGH. 254 00:09:57,553 --> 00:09:59,120 - OKAY, PASS ME A MARKER. 255 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,513 - WHICH COLOR? - WHATEVER. 256 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:14,875 - OKAY! 257 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,354 ONE DOWN. 258 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:17,921 - "JAKE 4 PREZ"? 259 00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,357 THIS ISN'’T A TEXT! 260 00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,707 FLESH IT OUT. 261 00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,709 YOU HAVE TO TAKE A STAND ON ISSUES, 262 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,363 LIKE THE SALE OF FLAMING HOT CHEETOS. 263 00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:28,062 DO YOU FAVOR THE FLAVOR, OR SPURN THE BURN? 264 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,498 YOU CAN'’T BE APATHETIC. - OKAY. 265 00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:32,153 FINE. HAND ME ANOTHER POSTER BOARD. 266 00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:35,896 - MM-HMM. - AND THIS TIME, THE, UH... 267 00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:39,856 GREEN MARKER, PLEASE. 268 00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:49,213 - LET ME GET YOU A PLATE. 269 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,302 - I'’M GOING OUT. 270 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:54,654 - UH, NO, YOU'’RE NOT. YOU'’RE GROUNDED. 271 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,264 - WHICH MEANS WHAT, EXACTLY? 272 00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:59,006 BECAUSE AS FAR AS I SEE IT, I'’M ABOUT TO LEAVE. 273 00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:00,964 - OKAY, YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL, 274 00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:02,966 AND YOU'’RE RUINING YOUR LIFE. 275 00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:06,100 - NO, YOU'’RE RUINING MY LIFE, JUST LIKE YOU RUINED YOURS. 276 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,841 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU DON'’T EVEN HAVE A LIFE. 277 00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:10,452 THE ONLY JOB YOU'’VE HAD FOR 17 YEARS IS BEING A MOM, 278 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,019 AND YOU SUCK AT IT! 279 00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:14,195 - DO NOT TALK TO YOUR MOM THAT WAY. 280 00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:15,892 - WHY NOT? ARE YOU GONNA GIVE HER 281 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,894 THE WAKE-UP CALL SHE NEEDS? 282 00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:20,897 - IF YOU LEAVE-- - WHAT? 283 00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:25,685 - DON'’T COME BACK. - LACE-- 284 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,339 - NO, KEVIN. 285 00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:30,907 DON'’T COME BACK. 286 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:41,352 [dance music] 287 00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:44,921 ♪♪ 288 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,662 - FAR CRY FROM PALOS VERDES, HUH? 289 00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:47,750 - IT WAS. 290 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,534 THE POP-UP CLUB HAD POPPED UP 291 00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,145 AT THE PERFECT TIME. 292 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,842 THERE WAS NO PLACE LIKE AWAY FROM HOME. 293 00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:00,937 - YOU MADE IT! 294 00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:04,419 - AND YOU MADE IT TOO. 295 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,029 - HOLD ON. I THINK I HATE THAT GIRL. 296 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,297 - SO RANDOM RUNNING INTO ANGELIQUE HERE. 297 00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:16,605 - ACTUALLY, I INVITED HER. IS THAT COOL? 298 00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:18,781 - I WAS WITH THE COOLEST GUY AT THE COOLEST CLUB IN TOWN. 299 00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,391 HOW COULD I NOT BE COOL WITH IT? 300 00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:22,393 OF COURSE. 301 00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,918 - JENNA SPOKE THE TRUTH. 302 00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:27,050 I'’M A TERRIBLE MOM. 303 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:30,619 I FAILED HER, AND THEN I DROVE HER AWAY. 304 00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:32,186 I HAVE TO FIX THIS. 305 00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:33,665 I HAVE TO TELL HER SHE CAN COME HOME. 306 00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:38,670 - NO! - WHA-- 307 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,194 - NO? - NO! 308 00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:42,805 LACE, YOU SHOWED HER THE TOUGH LOVE SHE DESERVES. 309 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,459 - BUT MAYBE I WAS TOO TOUGH. 310 00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:46,766 - FRANKLY, I DON'’T THINK YOU WERE TOUGH ENOUGH. 311 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:50,160 IF SHE WANTS TO BE INDEPENDENT, SHE CAN LEARN THE HARD WAY, 312 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,206 ON THE STREETS. 313 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:55,513 ALONE. WITH THUGS... 314 00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,864 AND RAPISTS. 315 00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,257 OH, GOD, OUR BABY. 316 00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,303 - NO! - [grunts] 317 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:05,219 - DON'’T BREAK! - BUT SHE NEEDS HER DADDY! 318 00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:06,394 - [panting] 319 00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:08,135 - I THINK YOU JUST BROKE YOUR PHONE. 320 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:10,877 - THAT WAS MY PHONE. 321 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,749 WELL, GOOD. 322 00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:15,882 BECAUSE WE CAN'’T LET HER MANIPULATE US. 323 00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:18,101 WE HAVE TO STAY STRONG. 324 00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:20,016 IT IS TIME FOR TOUGH LOVE. - I CAN'’T. 325 00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:20,843 - YOU CAN. - I DON'’T WANT TO. 326 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:22,932 - THAT'’S WHY IT'’S TOUGH. 327 00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,586 - OKAY. YOU'’RE RIGHT. 328 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,544 LET'’S JUST HOPE, WHEREVER SHE IS, 329 00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:28,155 JENNA IS MAKING GOOD CHOICES. 330 00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:30,287 - ♪ MY FIRE IS WILD - BRAIN ERASER, OR GUT ROT? 331 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:33,638 - BRAIN ERASER. - GUT ROT. 332 00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:36,685 - WHOO! - ♪MY RAGE IS DEEP ♪ 333 00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:37,904 [cheers and applause] 334 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:40,210 - YEAH! ALL RIGHT! 335 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,386 - ♪ONE BLACK EYE ♪ 336 00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:44,606 - YEAH, ALL RIGHT! 337 00:13:44,606 --> 00:13:46,738 - TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL. - ♪ BUSTED TEETH 338 00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:50,307 - SPEAKING OF NEXT LEVEL. 339 00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:52,744 - [gasps] OOH! - EITHER ANGELIQUE REALLY 340 00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,442 LIKED CANDY, OR-- 341 00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:55,791 - TONIGHT'’S FESTIVITIES ARE BROUGHT TO YOU 342 00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,880 BY THE LETTER "X." 343 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,403 - ♪YOU REALLY LIGHT ME UP ♪ 344 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:02,015 - IN THE MOMENT, I DIDN'’T KNOW IF MY MIND 345 00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,059 COULD TAKE ANY MORE EXPANDING, 346 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,279 SO I BLAMED IT ON MY BLADDER. 347 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:10,023 I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM. BE RIGHT BACK. 348 00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:13,069 - ♪YOU REALLY LIGHT ME UP ♪ - ♪ OH, OH, OH 349 00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:15,985 [muffled music] 350 00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:20,903 - BATHROOM LINE SHOTS! 351 00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:25,734 - SORRY I RAN AWAY. 352 00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:28,215 - YOU RAN AWAY? 353 00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:30,870 - WASN'’T IT OBVIOUS? - [laughs] YEAH. 354 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:35,265 - I JUST DIDN'’T FEEL READY TO TRY ECSTASY FOR THE FIRST TIME. 355 00:14:35,265 --> 00:14:37,659 - OH, NO. I FEEL AWFUL. 356 00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:39,574 - WHAT? NO, IT'’S FINE. 357 00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,532 WHY WOULD YOU FEEL BAD? 358 00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:46,537 - I PUT THE "E" IN YOUR DRINK. 359 00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:55,068 [dance music] 360 00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,634 - I WAS THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, 361 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,810 AND APPARENTLY DOWN THE "GRAB IT" HOLE, 362 00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:01,161 AND THE ECSTASY WAS DEFINITELY HAVING AN EFFECT... 363 00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:02,727 ON COLLIN AND ANGELIQUE. 364 00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:04,338 I, ON THE OTHER HAND, 365 00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:05,556 WAS WAY TOO FREAKED OUT TO BE BLISSED OUT. 366 00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:08,777 - HEY, FEEL THIS. IT'’S AMAZING. 367 00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:10,997 - OH, AMAZING. 368 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:12,824 HERE, JENNA, YOU GOTTA FEEL. 369 00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:15,044 - YEAH, IT'’S AMAZING. 370 00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,437 IT WASN'’T AMAZING. 371 00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:18,047 - I LOVE YOU GUYS. 372 00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:26,099 - UM, SHOULDN'’T WE DO THIS SOMEWHERE IN PRIVATE? 373 00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:28,144 - OH, NO, SHE'’S COOL, YOU'’RE COOL, RIGHT, ANG? 374 00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:30,059 - YEAH. I'’M TOTALLY COOL. 375 00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,065 - OKAY. 376 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:38,111 ANGELIQUE WAS DEFINITELY COOL, 377 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,026 AND NOT AFRAID OF BEARD BURN... 378 00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:45,031 OR, BOUNDARIES. 379 00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:48,164 - JAKE! 380 00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:49,600 YOU NEED TO PUSH YOUR BOUNDARIES! 381 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,602 GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE! 382 00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:54,344 GO DON DRAPER ON THIS PAPER. 383 00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:55,867 TAKE THE TIME TO MAKE IT RHYME. 384 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,304 DON'’T BE BITTER, ADD MORE GLITTER! 385 00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,175 - STOP IT! - RHYMING? 386 00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,872 - NO, TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! 387 00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:02,874 YOU'’RE SUFFOCATING ME. - I'’M TRYING TO HELP YOU. 388 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,180 - NO, YOU'’RE TRYING TO TURN ME 389 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,486 INTO THE PROTOTYPE OF A PERFECT BOYFRIEND. 390 00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:09,403 AND I TRY, AND I TRY EVERYTHING THAT YOU SAY! 391 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:10,839 BUT YOU STILL HAVE MORE CRITICISM. 392 00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:13,624 - I'’M SORRY THAT I WANT US TO WORK ON OUR RELATIONSHIP. 393 00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:16,584 - "US"? I DO ALL THE WORK. 394 00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:18,325 - YOU DON'’T THINK I WORK TO BE A GOOD GIRLFRIEND? 395 00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:20,196 I JUST MADE YOU 20 POSTERS! 396 00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,850 - THAT I DIDN'’T ASK FOR! 397 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,070 YOU THINK YOU KNOW BETTER ABOUT EVERYTHING! 398 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:28,030 WELL, THIS IS THE ONE THING THAT I KNOW HOW TO DO, AND YOU DON'’T. 399 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:29,423 YOU WOULD MAKE THE WORST PRESIDENT EVER! 400 00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:31,120 I DON'’T NEED RHYMING SLOGANS, 401 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,123 OR GLITTER, OR TO DOT MY "I"s WITH LITTLE STARS. 402 00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:37,431 I CAN WRITE ANYTHING ON MY POSTERS AND STILL WIN! 403 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:41,217 - OH, YEAH? 404 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:44,699 COULD YOU WRITE THIS? 405 00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:46,614 - YOU WOULDN'’T DARE. 406 00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:50,052 - OH, WOULDN'’T I? 407 00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:52,185 - PUT THAT GLITTER DOWN. 408 00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:02,456 [club music] 409 00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,501 - SO, THERE WAS AN EXCESS CARESS. 410 00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:05,763 IT WAS OKAY. 411 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,549 IT WASN'’T LIKE I WAS IN A THREESOME. 412 00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:11,769 AND SHE HAD TO PUT HER HAND SOMEWHERE. 413 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,380 IT DEFINITELY DIDN'’T MEAN I WAS IN A THREESOME. 414 00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:17,558 OR, I WAS IN A THREESOME. 415 00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,342 I'’M NOT COMFORTABLE. 416 00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:20,952 - TAKE OFF YOUR JACKET. - I'’LL HELP YOU. 417 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:24,173 - NO. NO. 418 00:17:24,173 --> 00:17:25,870 I NEED TO GO HOME. RIGHT NOW. 419 00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:29,352 - OH. OKAY. 420 00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:31,833 SEE YA. 421 00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:34,662 [both moaning] 422 00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:38,796 - I MAY HAVE BEEN HIGH, BUT I'’D NEVER FELT SO LOW. 423 00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:40,842 I WAS SCARED, ALONE, 424 00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:44,628 AND MY LACK OF CASH OR CREDIT MATCHED MY LACK OF OPTIONS. 425 00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:48,328 I HAD TO CALL SOMEONE. - ♪IT STARTS TURNING IT ON ♪ 426 00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:51,809 NOT MY PARENTS... - ♪ THIS IS IT 427 00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:54,682 - OR MY FRIENDS. 428 00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:58,425 THERE WAS ONLY ONE LAST RESORT, AND I WAS DESPERATE. 429 00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:02,298 - ♪NOT SHUTTING OFF ♪ 430 00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,605 - HEY, IT'’S ME. 431 00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:06,259 CAN YOU COME PICK ME UP? 432 00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:08,174 - ♪ THE SUN IS MOVING IN 433 00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:24,712 [ambient electronic music] 434 00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:26,670 ♪♪ 435 00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,411 - [sighs] 436 00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:32,502 DO YOU NEED ME TO STOP AND GET YOU SOME WATER OR SOMETHING? 437 00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:34,504 - I'’M OKAY. 438 00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:42,121 ♪ 439 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,174 - IT'’S JUST AN EARRING. 440 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,698 - BUT IT'’S NOT MINE. 441 00:18:54,698 --> 00:19:02,619 ♪ 442 00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:12,542 - [crying] 443 00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:20,159 ♪ 444 00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:26,643 - [sighs] 445 00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:33,172 IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED ME TO DO? 446 00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:40,266 - CAN YOU HOLD ME? 447 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:44,487 - [softly] YEAH. 448 00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:48,709 - THANK YOU FOR BEING MY HERO. 449 00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:51,407 [soft music] 450 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,670 - THAT'’S ALL I EVER WANTED TO BE. 451 00:19:53,670 --> 00:20:01,374 ♪ 452 00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:03,114 [engine starts] 453 00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:11,035 ♪ 454 00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:21,350 [soft music continues] 455 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:25,572 ♪ 456 00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:30,968 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... - HEY, GUYS! 457 00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:32,187 - HEY. - HI. 458 00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:33,710 - DURING MY SANITY SABBATICAL, 459 00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:36,147 I WROTE A MEAN ESSAY ABOUT VAL FOR THE LIT MAGAZINE. 460 00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:38,193 - DON'’T WORRY, PEOPLE ONLY READ THE EXPERIOR 461 00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:39,455 FOR THE SEX STORIES. 462 00:20:39,455 --> 00:20:40,761 NOBODY'’S GONNA BOTHER WITH YOUR ESSAY. 463 00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:43,329 - YOUR ESSAY IS AWESOME! 464 00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:44,895 - THAT'’S WHY YOU'’RE SORRY? 465 00:20:44,895 --> 00:20:46,375 - IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE I SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING FOR? 466 00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:48,290 - DID YOU SLEEP WITH ANGELIQUE? 33343

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