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1
00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:03,612
- PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD...
2
00:00:03,612 --> 00:00:05,831
- LOSER GIRL BECOMES
A LOSER BURNOUT.
3
00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:08,660
YOU ARE SUCH A CLICHE.
4
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,097
- YOUR FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED
TO STAY ON YOUR SIDE.
5
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:13,013
- YOU'’RE STARTING
TO FIXATE.
6
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,927
- MY REALITY FELT
LIKE SOLITARY CONFINEMENT.
7
00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:16,103
LET'’S JUST GET OUTTA HERE.
8
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,370
- COLLIN AND I HAD BEEN SEEING
EACH OTHER FOR WEEKS,
9
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,894
BUT WE HADN'’T FELT
THE NEED TO D.T.R.
10
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,200
WE WERE BEYOND IT.
11
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,593
BECAUSE WHEN IT CAME TO HIM,
I WAS ALL-IN.
12
00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:31,248
NOT TO MENTION
D.T.R.'’ING WAS FOR SUCKERS.
13
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:34,686
- DUDE, YOUR HAIR'’S SMOKING.
14
00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:36,819
- HOLY [bleep],
YOU'’RE ON FIRE.
15
00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:37,776
[both chuckle]
16
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,213
- [gasps]
17
00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:40,562
WHAT THE HELL?
18
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:42,651
I LOATHED HANGING OUT
IN THE SANCTUARY.
19
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:44,174
BUT IT WAS THE ONLY PLACE
20
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,176
COLLIN AND I COULD BE TOGETHER
HATER-FREE.
21
00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:50,093
♪
22
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:52,052
AND MONDAY MORNINGS DEFINITELY
BROUGHT OUT THE DREGS.
23
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,662
IT WAS LIKE AN A.A. MEETING.
24
00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,707
ALL THE ADDICTS
NEEDED THEIR FIX
25
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,100
TO MAKE IT THROUGH
THE WEEK.
26
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:58,536
THANK GOD
I WASN'’T ONE OF THEM.
27
00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,234
- I GOTTA GO.
28
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,452
- WAIT, NO, NO, NO.
29
00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:02,888
PLEASE, JUST ONE MORE.
30
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:06,457
- THAT'’S HOW IT STARTED
FOR ME TOO.
31
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:08,198
- I CAN WALK AWAY
ANYTIME I WANT.
32
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,994
[typing]
33
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:29,480
- WAY TO MAKE AN EFFORT,
HAMILTRICK.
34
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,439
NICE BRA.
35
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:35,530
- OKAY, IT IS
AN HOUR-LONG CLASS.
36
00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:39,099
ROMEO WILL STILL BE HERE
WHEN IT'’S ALL OVER.
37
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,535
WELL, IT'’S THAT TIME
OF YEAR AGAIN
38
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:44,234
WHEN WE PUT OUT A NEW EDITION
OF EXPERIOR.
39
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:45,670
DOES ANYBODY KNOW
WHAT EXPERIOR MEANS?
40
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,672
- EXPERIOR IS A SUPERHERO
41
00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:50,022
WHO POSSESS THE POWER
OF TELEKINESIS
42
00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:54,026
AND EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL
TIME TRAVEL.
43
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:56,333
- IT'’S LATIN FOR
"LET IT BE PRINTED,"
44
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,466
AND IT'’S ALSO THE NAME
OF OUR LITERARY MAGAZINE.
45
00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:00,120
NOW YOU WILL ALL
BE SUBMITTING AN ESSAY
46
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,860
FOR THIS YEAR'’S ISSUE,
47
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:03,775
WHICH, JUDGING BY THE LEVEL
OF TALENT IN THIS ROOM,
48
00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:05,429
SHOULD LOOK MORE LIKE
A FLYER.
49
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:09,129
THIS YEAR'’S TOPIC:
HEROES AND VILLAINS.
50
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,219
- HEY.
- OH, I'’LL BE RIGHT BACK.
51
00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:14,177
YEAH?
- I NEED YOUR HELP.
52
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:15,961
AND QUITE FRANKLY,
YOU NEED MINE.
53
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:18,268
I OVERHEARD PRINCIPAL COX
TALKING ABOUT
54
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,052
ANOTHER ROUND-EE-ROUND
OF PINK SLIPS.
55
00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,053
- THAT'’S JUST TALK.
56
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,620
- OH, YEAH?
57
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:23,969
LOOK WHAT I FOUND
ON MY DESK THIS MORNING.
58
00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:25,623
- THAT'’S A PHONE MESSAGE.
59
00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:27,277
- YEAH, BUT IT COULD HAVE JUST
AS EASILY BEEN A PINK SLIP.
60
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:28,539
- WHO ARE YOU?
61
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,802
- VALERIE MARKS,
GUIDANCE COUNSELOR.
62
00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,630
AND MORE RECENTLY,
CHOIR LEADER,
63
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:34,589
CHEER COACH,
DRILL TEAM MENTOR.
64
00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:36,199
- OH, A WOMAN
OF MANY TRADES.
65
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,419
- OH, NO, ONLY ONE.
66
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,029
I HATE DOING
ALL THAT OTHER CRAP.
67
00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:41,726
I'’M JUST TRYING TO MAKE
MYSELF INDISPENSABLE.
68
00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:43,163
- WHY ARE YOU HERE?
69
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,077
- THERE'’S A DISTRICT-WIDE
VIDEO COMPETITION,
70
00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:46,383
THE WINNER OF WHICH GETS...
71
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:47,384
[drum roll]
72
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:48,646
DRUM ROLL.
73
00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:50,648
A NURSE FOR A MONTH.
74
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,302
- OUR NURSE WAS CUT?
75
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,435
- LET'’S JUST SAY SHE WENT
GENTLY INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT.
76
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:55,566
E.E. CUMMINGS.
- DYLAN THOMAS.
77
00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:57,133
- WHO CARES WHAT
THE NURSE'’S NAME WAS?
78
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,917
IF I WIN THIS THING,
IT'’LL INCREASE MY PROFILE
79
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:01,050
AND MAKE ME
EVEN MORE INDISPENSABLE--
80
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:04,009
AND YOU, IF I CAN BORROW
YOUR STUDENTS.
81
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:06,795
- WILL THIS PROJECT INTERFERE
WITH MY TEACHING SCHEDULE?
82
00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:08,753
- JUST FOR A WEEK.
- PERFECT.
83
00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:09,972
- DRAMA.
84
00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,583
INTRIGUE.
SUICIDE.
85
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:15,020
DRUGS.
DEPRESSION.
86
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,371
FRIENDSHIP.
LOVE.
87
00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,111
ALCOHOLISM.
88
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:22,332
FREEZE FRAMES.
89
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:25,509
THESE DELIGHTFUL
AND SOMEWHAT SCARY WORDS
90
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:28,773
DESCRIBE MY FAVORITE
TV GENRE,
91
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,036
THE AFTER...
92
00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:32,386
SCHOOL...
93
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,648
SPECIAL.
94
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,606
A.S.S. FOR SHORT.
95
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,479
I WAS ADDICTED TO THEM.
96
00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:39,654
- UH, YOU MIGHT WANT
TO EXPLAIN THAT,
97
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:40,872
UNLESS YOU BROUGHT
A TIME MACHINE.
98
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,570
- I DID NOT.
99
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:46,443
AFTER SCHOOL SPECIALS WERE
MADE-FOR-TV MOVIES FOR PUBES,
100
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:48,097
PUBESCENTS,
BACK IN THE DAY,
101
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:49,968
WHICH DEALT WITH
CONTROVERSIAL SUBJECTS
102
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:53,363
AND SOCIALLY RELEVANT ISSUES.
103
00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,060
LIFETIME MOVIES FOR TEENS.
104
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:58,542
AND I NEED A CRACKERJACK TEAM
OF WRITERS AND FILMMAKERS
105
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,065
WHO CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN.
106
00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:02,024
WE'’LL MEET
AFTER SCHOOL THIS WEEK.
107
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:04,244
FEEL FREE TO ASK YOUR FRIENDS
TO PARTICIPATE.
108
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:07,159
BUT ONLY THE ATTRACTIVE ONES.
109
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,074
WE'’RE TALKING HD-FRIENDLY.
110
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,815
UH-UH.
111
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:13,427
- UGH, THE A.S.S. IS GONNA
BE A TRAIN WRECK.
112
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,603
WHAT SHOULD WE DO IN IT?
- NOTHING.
113
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,300
NOW THAT I'’M GROUNDED,
114
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,997
AFTER SCHOOL IS THE ONLY TIME
WE GET TO SPEND TOGETHER.
115
00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:21,261
- YEAH, BUT I DON'’T THINK
WE CAN GET OUT OF IT.
116
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:25,352
- OH, YES, WE CAN.
117
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,963
- HAVE YOU BEEN CRYING?
YOUR EYES LOOK BLOODSHOT.
118
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,444
- I GUESS I JUST
GOT A LITTLE EMOTIONAL
119
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,272
WHEN I FOUND OUT
ABOUT MY MOM.
120
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,447
- DID SOMETHING HAPPEN
TO L-DOG?
121
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:34,752
- SHE SPRAINED HER BACK.
122
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,885
- OH, NO.
OH, I GOTTA CALL HER.
123
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:37,973
- NO, DON'’T DO THAT.
124
00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:39,670
SHE DOESN'’T WANT
ANYONE TO KNOW.
125
00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,411
SHE'’S EMBARRASSED.
126
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:45,415
- OH, BECAUSE IT HAPPENED
DURING SEX?
127
00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:46,851
- I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM
NOR DENY.
128
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,462
- HMM, I SEE.
129
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:51,073
I BET THAT KEVIN'’S A REAL
STINGRAY IN THE SACK.
130
00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:53,815
- COLLIN AND I HAVE TO GO
STRAIGHT HOME AFTER SCHOOL,
131
00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,947
AND WE CAN'’T BE
IN YOUR AWESOME VIDEO.
132
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,645
WE'’RE SO BUMMED.
133
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,255
- IF I HAD TO GUESS
WHAT YOUR PARENTS WERE DOING,
134
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,561
I'’D SAY THE PILE DRIVER.
135
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:04,216
OR MAYBE THE BACKWARDS
JELLYFISH.
136
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,566
WHY DOES COLLIN
NEED TO BE THERE?
137
00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:07,307
- MY MOM NEEDS HELP
GETTING TO THE BATHROOM
138
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,091
UNTIL MY DAD GETS HOME.
139
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:11,223
- YOU ARE RELEASED.
140
00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:12,660
I TAKE THAT BACK.
141
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,576
MUST HAVE BEEN
THE DIRTY SANTA CLAUS.
142
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,322
- ARE YOU TRYING
TO TORTURE YOURSELF,
143
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,324
OR ARE YOU JUST
A STRAIGHT-UP CREEPER?
144
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,413
- I AM JUST TRYING
TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND
145
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,023
HOW THE HELL
THIS HAPPENED.
146
00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:29,546
- WHY DO YOU CARE?
147
00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:32,027
JENNA IS
A HO-BAG-SLUT-MACHINE
148
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:34,464
WHO HUMILIATED YOU
IN FRONT OF THE WORLD.
149
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:37,337
- YEAH, BUT SOMEWHERE DEEP DOWN,
SHE'’S STILL MY FRIEND.
150
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,904
- YOU ARE SO NICE,
IT'’S ANNOYING.
151
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:42,385
- THE SUBJECT MATTER
FOR THE AFTER-SCHOOL SPECIALS
152
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:46,128
RAN THE GAMUT FROM DRUNK MOMS
TO TEENAGE PROSTITUTION
153
00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:47,999
TO RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS.
154
00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:49,000
- [giggles]
155
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,829
- IS THAT FUNNY TO YOU,
BLONDIE?
156
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:53,701
HOW FUNNY YOU THINK IT WAS
FOR POOR CAROL ANN,
157
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:56,181
A SKATER ON HER WAY
TO OLYMPIC GOLD
158
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:58,358
WHO WOKE UP ONE DAY
AND COULDN'’T FIT
159
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,011
HER FAT ELEPHANT FEET
INTO HER SIZE 6 SKATES?
160
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:02,013
- NOT FUNNY AT ALL.
161
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,364
- EVEN THOUGH EVERY A.S.S.
HAD A DIFFERENT MESSAGE,
162
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,279
THEY HAD THE SAME SIX STEPS
TO GET YOU THERE.
163
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:20,031
NUMBER ONE,
164
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,773
ESTABLISH THE PROBLEM
OF THE MAIN CHARACTER,
165
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:24,471
THE TROUBLED TEEN.
166
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:25,907
- CAN I PLAY HER?
167
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,430
- ONLY IF WE END UP DOING
PORN STAR RUNAWAY
168
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,300
OR EATING DISORDER.
169
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,519
- SPEAKING OF SLUTTY,
170
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,216
HOW DID JENNA
GET OUT OF THIS?
171
00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:32,653
- CAN'’T TALK ABOUT IT.
172
00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:33,784
LET'’S JUST SAY IT INVOLVED
A SEX INJURY.
173
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:37,788
- OF COURSE IT DID.
174
00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,355
I HAVE AN IDEA.
175
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,401
WHY DON'’T WE DO A STORY
176
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,403
ABOUT A TROUBLED LOSER GIRL
177
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,056
WHO'’S SO DESPERATE
FOR ATTENTION
178
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:46,971
SHE TRIES TO COMMIT SUICIDE,
FAILS,
179
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:49,844
THEN DEFIES ALL ODDS
BY BECOMING POPULAR
180
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,976
AND THEN MANAGES
SLOWLY BUT SURELY
181
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:54,370
TO ALIENATE EVERYONE
IN HER LIFE,
182
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,764
AND THEN SHE DIES?
183
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,898
- I THINK IT'’S...
184
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:03,292
PERFECT.
185
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:05,076
ALL WE NEED IS A TITLE.
186
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:08,863
- HOW ABOUT, WHAT ARE WE GONNA
DO ABOUT JENNY?
187
00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,952
- I THINK WE HAVE A WINNER.
188
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:12,823
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT--
189
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,738
- JENNA.
190
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:17,306
SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS,
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT HER?
191
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:18,742
- I'’M CONFUSED.
192
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,265
I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WANTED
TO TALK TO HER AGAIN.
193
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:21,528
- I DON'’T WANNA TALK TO HER.
I WANNA YELL AT HER.
194
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,181
- I KINDA WANNA SMACK HER.
195
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:24,966
- I TRIED TO STAY OUT OF IT,
BUT I CAN'’T JUST SIT BACK
196
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,838
AND WATCH JENNA DRIFT INTO
AMANDA BYNESVILLE.
197
00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:29,884
- SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
198
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,233
- I THINK WE'’RE GONNA NEED
SOME GUIDANCE
199
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,888
OR SOME COUNSELING.
200
00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:37,282
OR SOME GUIDANCE COUNSELING.
201
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:38,588
WHAT DO WE DO IF WE KNOW
ONE OF OUR FRIENDS
202
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,938
IS IN TROUBLE?
203
00:07:40,938 --> 00:07:41,983
- I DON'’T KNOW,
TALK TO '’EM, I GUESS.
204
00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:45,116
- BUT HE, OR SHE,
WON'’T LISTEN TO US
205
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:46,944
BECAUSE HE, OR SHE,
HAS BEEN HANGING OUT
206
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:48,250
WITH A REALLY BAD DUDE.
207
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,860
- OH, I SEE.
208
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,862
YOUR FRIEND'’S HAVING
A GENDER IDENTITY CRISIS.
209
00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:54,430
- NO, OUR FRIEND
IS SKIPPING SCHOOL
210
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:59,000
AND TURNING INTO
A GANGE-HEAD.
211
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,002
- YOU STRIKE ME AS BEING
VERY CONCERNED
212
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,743
ABOUT YOUR FRIEND.
213
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,962
I'’D GO SO FAR AS
TO CALL YOU
214
00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:08,313
THE CONCERNED FRIENDS.
215
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:10,446
MY ADVICE IS TO GET INVOLVED
216
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:13,057
IN AN AFTER-SCHOOL ACTIVITY.
217
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,494
MING, CAN YOU REMOVE
YOUR HAT PLEASE?
218
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,807
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT
ABOUT ACTING?
219
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:26,288
TAMARA HAD A MEMORABLE
SCENERY-CHEWING TURN
220
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,508
IN DEAD STACEY,
BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU TWO?
221
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,509
- I WAS IN IT TOO.
222
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,988
- EH, NOT SO MEMORABLE.
223
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,207
- HOW IS ACTING
GOING TO HELP?
224
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:33,730
- IT'’LL FREE YOU UP
AS PEOPLE.
225
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:34,992
OKAY, PLEASE STAND UP.
226
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:38,213
I'’D LIKE TO TRY
SOME IMPROV.
227
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:39,867
- I'’M CONFUSED.
228
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:40,955
- YEAH, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO BE DOING?
229
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,217
- YOU'’RE SUPPOSED
TO BE CONFUSED,
230
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:44,393
AND YOU ARE SUCCEEDING.
231
00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:46,787
YOU, YOU'’RE ABOUT TO BE SHIPPED
OFF TO A GERMAN WORK CAMP.
232
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:49,006
YOU CAN ONLY BRING ONE FRIEND.
THE OTHER FRIEND WILL DIE.
233
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,094
WHO DO YOU CHOOSE?
DON'’T THINK!
234
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,792
- I DON'’T KNOW,
I CAN'’T DECIDE!
235
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,141
BUT I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN
KILL OFF ONE OF MY FRIENDS.
236
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,925
- OH, IMPRESSIVE.
237
00:08:57,014 --> 00:09:01,410
YOU TWO IN THE BACK,
PLEASE STEP FORWARD.
238
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,368
JAKE, TAKE ONE STEP BACK.
239
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:08,678
YOU TWO IN THE FRONT ROW,
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU MADE IT.
240
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:10,985
- [squeals]
- YOU IN THE BACK,
241
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:12,943
I'’M SORRY.
242
00:09:12,943 --> 00:09:14,466
YOU'’LL HAVE TO TELL YOUR MOM
THAT YOU'’LL BE LATE TO DINNER,
243
00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,120
BECAUSE YOU MADE IT TOO!
- I MADE WHAT?
244
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,383
- MY A.S.S.,
MY AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL VIDEO.
245
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:20,734
- NO, I'’M NOT DOING THAT.
- NOT MY JAM.
246
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,300
- I'’LL GIVE YOU A MENTAL HEALTH
DAY PASS TO SKIP SCHOOL.
247
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,301
- DONE.
- I'’M IN.
248
00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:23,911
- I DON'’T NEED THE PASS.
249
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:32,789
- HAVE YOU STARTED
YOUR ESSAY YET?
250
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,835
- I'’LL WRITE IT TONIGHT.
251
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,140
IF I CAN STAY AWAKE.
252
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,360
WHAT TIME DID YOU LEAVE
LAST NIGHT--2:00?
253
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:42,625
- MM, MORE LIKE 3:00.
254
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,454
HEY.
255
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,804
- WHAT IS IT?
256
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,720
- A TICKET FOR THE "A" TRAIN.
257
00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:55,682
- WHAT IF I NEED
A ROUND-TRIP TICKET?
258
00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:01,688
[energetic techno music]
259
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,733
I HADN'’T DECIDED WHAT TO WRITE
MY ESSAY ABOUT,
260
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:06,083
SO I WAS JUST WRITING ANYTHING
THAT POPPED INTO MY HEAD.
261
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:08,085
BUT WHY WAS IT SO HARD TO SETTLE
ON A SUBJECT MATTER?
262
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,652
HERO OR VILLAIN?
MAYBE RUNNING AROUND THE BLOCK
263
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:11,219
A FEW TIMES
WOULD HELP ME DECIDE.
264
00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:13,656
I HAD NEVER FELT SO INSPIRED
AND YET SO SCATTERED.
265
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:16,616
IT WAS WEIRD AND AWESOME,
BUT WHAT WAS EVEN AWESOMER--
266
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,052
[soft piano music]
- THERE WERE CERTAIN THINGS
267
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,923
I HAD LEARNED ABOUT MYSELF
OVER THE YEARS,
268
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,186
BUT THE SINGLE
MOST IMPORTANT THING WAS
269
00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:27,017
I LOVED WRITING ABOUT ME
AND ALL MY STUPID PROBLEMS.
270
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,715
MAYBE MY SIDE BRAID
WAS CUTTING OFF
271
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:29,933
THE CIRCULATION
TO MY BRAIN,
272
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,456
BUT I COULDN'’T STOP
DOING DUMB STUFF
273
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:32,675
I WOULD REGRET LATER.
274
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,416
- CUT!
[bell rings]
275
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,461
ENOUGH WITH THE BLOGGING.
JESUS.
276
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,855
SO BORING.
AM I RIGHT?
277
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,596
- TOTALLY.
- WATCH YOURSELF.
278
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:43,381
I WROTE YOU INTO THE SCRIPT,
AND I CAN WRITE YOU OUT.
279
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,905
- THIS IS ABOUT JENNA.
280
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,646
- AND SHE IS
NOT GONNA LIKE IT.
281
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,778
- OR IT'’LL SNAP HER
OUT OF HER INSANITY.
282
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,388
- OKAY.
283
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:53,696
LET'’S MOVE ON TO THE
"ESTABLISH THE PROBLEM" MONTAGE.
284
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,959
KYLE, YOU'’RE
THE GOOD GUY JOCK.
285
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,700
JAKE, YOU'’RE THE BAD GUY.
286
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,571
- WHY DO I HAVE TO BE
THE BAD GUY?
287
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:00,790
- '’CAUSE YOU'’RE ALWAYS TYPECAST
AS A GOODY-GOODY.
288
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,923
- IN WHAT?
- IN LIFE.
289
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,925
[scoffs]
290
00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:06,709
- I WASN'’T ALWAYS
A BAD GIRL.
291
00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:08,885
I WAS JUST BORING AND LAME.
292
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:11,409
BUT LATELY, I HAD BECOME
A HARD-CORE BITCH
293
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,890
WHO ALSO HAPPENED TO BE
BORING AND LAME.
294
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,501
BUT IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND
HOW I GOT WHERE I WAS,
295
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:19,156
YOU NEEDED TO KNOW
WHERE I'’D BEEN.
296
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:20,810
AFTER GETTING CAUGHT CHEATING
WITH CALVIN
297
00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:22,029
ON MY BOYFRIEND, DANNY,
298
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,334
I LOST ALL MY FRIENDS.
299
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,554
I WAS ALONE.
300
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:27,730
BUT IT WASN'’T LONG
BEFORE I FOUND A NEW FRIEND
301
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,297
TO LIFT MY SPIRITS--
302
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:31,299
MARY JANE.
303
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:33,344
I HAD BECOME AN ADDICT
AND A LOSER.
304
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:34,432
WELL...
[giggles]
305
00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:36,391
A MORE EPIC LOSER,
306
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:40,047
SINCE I WAS A LOSER
FROM THE START.
307
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,091
BUT MY PIECE DE RESISTANCE
WAS PUSHING AWAY
308
00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:43,050
THE ONLY PEOPLE
WHO HAD TO LOVE ME...
309
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:44,660
[door clicks open]
310
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,140
PEOPLE WHO WERE FAR MORE
ATTRACTIVE THAN ME
311
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,663
AND IN NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM
COULD HAVE BEEN
312
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,360
MY BIOLOGICAL PARENTS,
313
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,797
BECAUSE THEY WERE
SMOKIN'’ HOT.
314
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:53,103
I HATE YOU AND YOUR BOOBS!
- I HATE YOU!
315
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,149
- AND IT MADE ME WANT
TO DIE...
316
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:57,064
EVEN MORE THAN USUAL.
317
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,979
[gags]
318
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,158
- HEY, IT'’S ME.
319
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:06,290
I'’M JUST CALLING TO SAY
I MISS YOU.
320
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:07,552
I KNOW IT'’S ONLY BEEN
TEN SECONDS,
321
00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:09,076
BUT I MISS YOU ALREADY.
322
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:10,904
MEET ME IN MY ROOM
IN 30?
323
00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:12,732
OKAY, BYE.
WHOA.
324
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,951
- WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
325
00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:17,345
- YOU'’RE SICK?
- AND YOU'’RE UNBELIEVABLE.
326
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:18,694
YOU DON'’T EVEN REMEMBER
YOUR OWN LIES.
327
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,391
THEY'’RE FROM VALERIE.
328
00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:22,002
- SHE'’S DOING THIS LAME VIDEO
PROJECT AFTER SCHOOL,
329
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,568
AND I CAN'’T WASTE
MY TIME ON THAT
330
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:26,223
WHEN I'’VE GOT AN IMPORTANT PAPER
TO WRITE FOR MR. HART.
331
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,834
IT'’S GONNA BE PUBLISHED
IN HIS LIT MAGAZINE.
332
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,139
ISN'’T THAT COOL?
333
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:30,967
- SO YOU LIED TO VALERIE
334
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,926
TO GET OUT OF DOING
HER PROJECT,
335
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:34,405
AND YOU USED ME
AS YOUR EXCUSE,
336
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,233
NOT TO MENTION YOUR DAD,
337
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:39,323
WHO VALERIE NOW THINKS
IS SOME CRAZY SEX FIEND.
338
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:42,065
JENNA, SHE SENT ME
A JELLYFISH BALLOON.
339
00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:43,719
- MOM, IT'’S NO BIG DEAL--
- EH!
340
00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:45,068
GET IN THE CAR.
341
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:47,027
YOU ARE DOING
THIS LAME VIDEO,
342
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:48,985
AND ON THE WAY OVER,
YOU'’RE GONNA EXPLAIN TO ME
343
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,595
WHAT A BACKWARDS
JELLYFISH IS.
344
00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:51,596
- CUT!
345
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,860
[bell rings]
346
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,470
[sighs]
347
00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:57,515
I'’VE SEEN ROCK BOTTOM,
AND THAT WASN'’T IT.
348
00:12:57,515 --> 00:13:00,040
WE ARE TALKING
DEPTHS OF DESPAIR,
349
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,521
BASEMENT LEVEL,
ABSOLUTE BOTTOM.
350
00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:06,698
LIKE IF YOUR PARENTS LOST
ALL THEIR MONEY.
351
00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:10,137
- IN THAT CASE, I WOULD
DEFINITELY KILL MYSELF.
352
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,965
IF I WERE JENNY.
353
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,967
- I KNOW HOW TO MAKE
FAKE BLOOD.
354
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:16,708
IT TOTALLY LOOKS REAL.
IT EVEN SMELLS REAL.
355
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:19,102
BUT IT'’S NOT.
356
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,364
[eerie screech]
357
00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:22,192
- NO. NO. NO BLOOD.
NO DYING.
358
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:23,498
WE ARE NOT GONNA WIN
THIS CONTEST
359
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:24,716
WITH A SAD ENDING.
360
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:27,328
THIS ISN'’T
THE GOLDEN GLOBES.
361
00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:30,984
- JENNY LIVES.
362
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,376
- L-DOG!
363
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,726
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU
BACK ON YOUR FEET,
364
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,816
YOU SNEAKY DICKENS, YOU.
365
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,643
YOU KNOW, I'’VE ALWAYS BELIEVED
IN THE POWER
366
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,776
OF A GOOD BALLOON ARRANGEMENT.
367
00:13:40,776 --> 00:13:42,909
THAT'’S WHY THEY CALL IT
"HEAL-IUM".
368
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,998
- AND I AM HEALED!
369
00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:48,828
WHICH MEANS JENNA DOESN'’T HAVE
TO TAKE CARE OF ME ANYMORE.
370
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,264
SHE IS ALL YOURS.
371
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:51,569
- GREAT!
372
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:56,226
F.Y.I., IT'’S A CLOSED SET.
373
00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,053
PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF!
[bell rings]
374
00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:59,316
ANNND ACTION!
VOICEOVER.
375
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,014
- I HAD HIT ROCK BOTTOM,
376
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,712
AND IT FELT SURPRISINGLY
LIKE HOME.
377
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,453
EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS NOWHERE
TO GO BUT UP,
378
00:14:05,453 --> 00:14:07,716
I WANTED TO STAY THERE
AND MOVE IN.
379
00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:09,805
- WHAT IS THIS?
380
00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:13,156
- AN UBER-TRAGIC TALE
ABOUT A LOSER GIRL
381
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,463
WHO WANTS TO DIE,
CALLED...
382
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:18,074
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO
ABOUT JENNY?
383
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,426
- YOU'’VE GOT TO BE
[bleep] KIDDING ME.
384
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,956
- JENNA, YOU ARE GOING TO BE
385
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,044
CONCERNED FRIEND
NUMBER FOUR.
386
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:31,827
- ACTUALLY, I THINK I'’D MAKE
387
00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:32,959
A MUCH BETTER ENEMY.
388
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,569
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
389
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:35,962
YOU'’RE WAY TOO GOODY-TWO-SHOES
TO PULL THAT OFF.
390
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:38,007
ALL RIGHT,
LISTEN UP, ACTORS.
391
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,095
YOU'’RE IN THE MALL.
392
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:41,358
THERE ARE ZOMBIES
EVERYWHERE,
393
00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:42,838
AND THEY'’RE HEADED
FOR THE FOOD COURT--
394
00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:44,666
ONLY YOU ARE THE FOOD.
395
00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:46,973
THAT IS YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE.
AND ACTION!
396
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,717
- GET OUT OF MY ROOM!
397
00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:54,545
- WE CAN'’T WATCH YOU
THROW AWAY YOUR LIFE!
398
00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,286
- MY LIFE IS OVER!
399
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:58,027
I HAD A HOT BOYFRIEND
WHO LOVED ME
400
00:14:58,027 --> 00:15:01,378
EVEN THOUGH I'’M AN UNLOVABLE,
PLAIN LOSER FREAK
401
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:02,727
WITH NO FASHION SENSE,
402
00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:05,687
BUT I DUMPED HIM
FOR A POTHEAD DOUCHE HOLE,
403
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:06,993
AND NOW I HAVE
TO LIVE WITH THAT,
404
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,559
WHICH IS WHY I GET HIGH
405
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,518
JUST TO MAKE IT
THROUGH THE DAY.
406
00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:12,737
- I DON'’T CARE
IF YOU HATE US RIGHT NOW.
407
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,739
WE'’RE YOUR FRIENDS,
AND YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS.
408
00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:16,306
- I HAVE NO FRIENDS!
409
00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:17,829
I'’M A LOSER!
410
00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:20,397
I'’M SO DIRTY AND GROSS
AND HIGH,
411
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,356
I JUST WANT TO KILL MYSELF!
412
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,314
- STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.
WE LOVE YOU,
413
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:25,750
AND WE'’RE WORRIED
ABOUT YOU.
414
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,622
- ACTUALLY, JENNY, I'’M NOT
WORRIED ABOUT YOU AT ALL.
415
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,971
YOU SEEM FINE TO ME,
416
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,930
SO GO ON AND LIVE YOUR LIFE,
417
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,235
WHICH IS
NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.
418
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:34,020
WE'’LL LEAVE YOU ALONE.
419
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,325
- WE ALREADY LEFT HER ALONE,
420
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:37,458
AND SHE MADE
SOME VERY BAD CHOICES.
421
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,547
- SO WHAT?
THEY WERE HER CHOICES.
422
00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:40,852
- WERE THEY?
BECAUSE IT SEEMED LIKE JENNY
423
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:43,464
WAS JUST DOING WHATEVER
HER BOYFRIEND WANTED HER TO DO.
424
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:45,814
- AND THAT GUY IS BAD NEWS.
425
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:47,555
- THEY'’RE IMPROVISING.
426
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:50,123
- OH, IMPROV.
427
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,211
- YOU DON'’T EVEN KNOW CALVIN,
428
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:52,038
AND I CAN SAY THAT
FOR A FACT
429
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,735
BECAUSE I HARDLY KNOW HIM,
430
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,128
BECAUSE WE'’RE TOO BUSY
GETTING HIGH
431
00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:57,652
AND DOING IT
TO HAVE AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION.
432
00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,915
- NOT TRUE--YOU AND CALVIN HAVE
MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS
433
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:01,438
ALL THE TIME.
434
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:02,613
- I THINK JENNY'’S
JUST DATING HIM
435
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,311
'’CAUSE SHE LIKES HANGING OUT
WITH A BAD BOY.
436
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:07,140
- OR MAYBE BECAUSE HE HAS
THE SWEET POT CONNECTIONS.
437
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:09,707
- OR MAYBE BECAUSE HE OWNS
A JET SKI!
438
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:11,013
- SHE'’S DATING HIM
BECAUSE SHE LIKES HIM.
439
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,188
END OF STORY.
440
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,711
- ALL THIS FIGHTING
AND ARGUING
441
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,278
JUST MAKES ME WANT
TO DIE MORE!
442
00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,801
- YOU ARE SO OUT OF IT,
443
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,455
YOU DON'’T EVEN KNOW
WHAT YOU'’RE SAYING!
444
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,022
- I AM NOT OUT OF IT,
AND I DON'’T NEED YOUR HELP,
445
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,502
SO LEAVE ME ALONE.
446
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:24,244
[The Dig'’s Over You]
447
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:31,077
- ♪ FALL INTO A DREAM
448
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:34,689
♪ IN A HOLLOW ROOM
449
00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,560
- UH, GIVE ME A MINUTE.
450
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,649
- ♪ FROZEN IN A SLEEP
451
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:39,694
- HEY.
452
00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:41,043
- WHAT?
453
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,523
ARE YOU GONNA TALK
TO ME TOO?
454
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,003
TELL ME I'’M GOING
DOWN THE WRONG PATH,
455
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,830
HANGING OUT
WITH BAD PEOPLE?
456
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,832
YOU WANNA WARN ME?
GO FOR IT.
457
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:51,793
- ♪ CALLING OUT TO ME
458
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:54,970
- NOPE.
459
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:58,669
- ♪ CALLING OUT MY NAME
460
00:16:58,669 --> 00:16:59,975
- I'’M SORRY, J.
461
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:03,283
YOU'’RE SUSPENDED.
462
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,508
- I GOT YOU THE PILLS,
BUT THIS ISN'’T ENOUGH.
463
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:12,814
- IT'’S ALL I GOT.
464
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:13,641
I'’LL GIVE YOU THE REST
TOMORROW, DUDE.
465
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:14,642
I SWEAR.
466
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:15,773
- THAT'’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
467
00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:18,733
guys: [grunting]
468
00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:20,909
- UGH!
469
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,998
- OH, MY GOD,
YOU KILLED HIM!
470
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,826
- OH!
471
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:27,133
[gasping]
472
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,961
[dramatic synthesizer music]
473
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:35,619
♪
474
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:39,623
- CALVIN!
475
00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:44,063
NOOO...
476
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,673
ALL THIS FIGHTING
AND ARGUING
477
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,849
JUST MAKES ME
WANT TO DIE MORE!
478
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,677
- YOU ARE SO OUT OF IT,
479
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,026
YOU DON'’T EVEN KNOW
WHAT YOU'’RE SAYING.
480
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,680
- I AM NOT OUT OF IT,
AND I DON'’T NEED YOUR HELP,
481
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:53,724
SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
482
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,726
- I JUST WANT
TO KILL MYSELF!
483
00:17:55,726 --> 00:18:02,559
♪
484
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:03,865
I WANTED TO DIE.
485
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:05,780
I DESERVE TO DIE.
486
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:08,522
BUT I GUESS IT'’S TIME FOR ME
TO START LIVING...
487
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:11,133
FOR NOW.
488
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:16,617
[uplifting music]
489
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:24,538
♪
490
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:30,935
- FIRST PRIZE GOES TO...
491
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:33,721
VALERIE MARKS,
FOR HER MOVING PORTRAIT
492
00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:36,767
OF A DEEPLY TROUBLED GIRL
WHO LOST HER WAY.
493
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:41,816
DEEPLY TROUBLED GIRL
WHO LOST HER WAY...
494
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,212
- YOU ARE SO OUT OF IT,
YOU DON'’T EVEN KNOW
495
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,865
WHAT YOU'’RE SAYING.
496
00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:49,432
- I AM NOT OUT OF IT,
AND I DON'’T NEED YOUR HELP,
497
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:52,131
SO JUST LEAVE ME ALO--
[click]
498
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,655
- OH, MY GOD.
499
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,352
I WAS SO BUSY
WITH MY A.S.S.,
500
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:58,615
I DIDN'’T SEE THE A.S.S.
IN FRONT OF MY FACE.
501
00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:00,791
JENNA IS JENNY.
502
00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:02,793
[doorbell rings]
503
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:04,795
[crickets chirping]
504
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,057
- WHY ARE YOU HERE?
505
00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:08,103
- I'’M THE HELP THAT ARRIVES.
YAY!
506
00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:09,278
- WELL, I DON'’T NEED IT,
507
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:10,105
SO WHY DON'’T YOU BE
THE HELP
508
00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,411
THAT GOES THE HELL AWAY?
509
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:12,412
- THAT'’S THE POT TALKING.
510
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,979
AND I AM SORRY
THAT IT TOOK ME SO LONG
511
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:17,112
TO GET UP TO SPEED--
WHICH YOU MIGHT BE ON TOO.
512
00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:19,810
BUT I'’M READY NOW.
513
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:22,422
AND AS YOUR FRIEND,
I'’M READY TO HELP,
514
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:23,727
'’CAUSE YOU'’RE MY GIRL.
515
00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:26,121
- YOUR GIRL.
516
00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:27,601
DON'’T YOU SEE
HOW WEIRD THAT IS?
517
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:29,037
NO, OF COURSE YOU DON'’T,
518
00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:30,212
'’CAUSE YOU DON'’T
UNDERSTAND BOUNDARIES.
519
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:31,996
I'’M NOT YOUR FRIEND,
520
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:33,389
AND I NEVER HAVE BEEN.
521
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:35,086
YOU'’RE JUST
MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR,
522
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:39,656
AND A SUCKY ONE AT THAT.
523
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:40,831
SINCE I HAD KNOWN HER,
524
00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,529
VALERIE HAD ALWAYS
CROSSED THE LINE,
525
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:44,792
AND I HAD ALWAYS
LET IT SLIDE.
526
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,360
BUT WHAT WAS THE POINT
OF OUR SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP
527
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,578
IF SHE WASN'’T GOING
TO LET ME OFF
528
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:50,101
WITH A SLAP ON THE WRIST?
529
00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:51,929
AS FAR AS I WAS CONCERNED,
530
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:54,410
BY SUSPENDING ME,
SHE HAD CROSSED OVER THE LINE
531
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:57,674
TO THE POINT
OF NO RETURN,
532
00:19:57,674 --> 00:20:00,286
WHICH IS EXACTLY
WHERE I WANTED TO BE...
533
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,249
UNTIL I FOUND A DRUG
THAT WAS GOING TO MAKE ME
534
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,251
FEEL REALLYGOOD--
535
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,644
REVENGE.
536
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,733
THE GOOD THING
ABOUT HAVING BEEN SUSPENDED?
537
00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:15,823
I HAD PLENTY OF TIME
TO FINISH HART'’S ASSIGNMENT,
538
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:18,260
AND I KNEW EXACTLY
WHO I WOULD WRITE ABOUT.
539
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,220
ONLY THERE WEREN'’T GOING TO BE
ANY HEROES IN MY STORY,
540
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,265
JUST A VILLAIN.
541
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:25,572
ONE VERY FAMILIAR VILLAIN.
542
00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:29,619
- ♪ RIGHT TO SHARE
YOUR QUERIES ♪
543
00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:34,363
♪ OF THE DAY
544
00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:38,498
♪
545
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:40,804
- IT WAS TIME FOR ME
TO TAKE THAT BITCH DOWN.
546
00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:46,680
- NEXT, ON AWKWARD...
WHAT'’S GOING ON HERE?
547
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,203
- LIL'’ BITCH,
THIS IS YOUR INTERVENTION.
548
00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:48,986
[grunts]
- YOU'’RE ALL A BUNCH
549
00:20:48,986 --> 00:20:50,858
OF HYPOCRITES.
550
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,381
- YOU'’RE GROUNDED.
- I'’M OUT.
551
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:54,078
- IF YOU LEAVE...
- WHAT?
552
00:20:54,078 --> 00:20:55,689
- DON'’T COME BACK.
553
00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:58,257
- YOU MADE IT.
[giggles]
554
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,737
- YOU MADE IT TOO.
[laughs nervously]
555
00:21:00,737 --> 00:21:02,261
SO RANDOM, RUNNING
INTO ANGELIQUE HERE.
556
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,740
- ACTUALLY, I INVITED HER.
39683
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