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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:03,612 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,612 --> 00:00:05,831 - LOSER GIRL BECOMES A LOSER BURNOUT. 3 00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:08,660 YOU ARE SUCH A CLICHE. 4 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,097 - YOUR FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO STAY ON YOUR SIDE. 5 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:13,013 - YOU'’RE STARTING TO FIXATE. 6 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,927 - MY REALITY FELT LIKE SOLITARY CONFINEMENT. 7 00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:16,103 LET'’S JUST GET OUTTA HERE. 8 00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,370 - COLLIN AND I HAD BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER FOR WEEKS, 9 00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,894 BUT WE HADN'’T FELT THE NEED TO D.T.R. 10 00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,200 WE WERE BEYOND IT. 11 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,593 BECAUSE WHEN IT CAME TO HIM, I WAS ALL-IN. 12 00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:31,248 NOT TO MENTION D.T.R.'’ING WAS FOR SUCKERS. 13 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:34,686 - DUDE, YOUR HAIR'’S SMOKING. 14 00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:36,819 - HOLY [bleep], YOU'’RE ON FIRE. 15 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:37,776 [both chuckle] 16 00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,213 - [gasps] 17 00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:40,562 WHAT THE HELL? 18 00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:42,651 I LOATHED HANGING OUT IN THE SANCTUARY. 19 00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:44,174 BUT IT WAS THE ONLY PLACE 20 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,176 COLLIN AND I COULD BE TOGETHER HATER-FREE. 21 00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:50,093 ♪ 22 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:52,052 AND MONDAY MORNINGS DEFINITELY BROUGHT OUT THE DREGS. 23 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,662 IT WAS LIKE AN A.A. MEETING. 24 00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,707 ALL THE ADDICTS NEEDED THEIR FIX 25 00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,100 TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE WEEK. 26 00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:58,536 THANK GOD I WASN'’T ONE OF THEM. 27 00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,234 - I GOTTA GO. 28 00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,452 - WAIT, NO, NO, NO. 29 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:02,888 PLEASE, JUST ONE MORE. 30 00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:06,457 - THAT'’S HOW IT STARTED FOR ME TOO. 31 00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:08,198 - I CAN WALK AWAY ANYTIME I WANT. 32 00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,994 [typing] 33 00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:29,480 - WAY TO MAKE AN EFFORT, HAMILTRICK. 34 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,439 NICE BRA. 35 00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:35,530 - OKAY, IT IS AN HOUR-LONG CLASS. 36 00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:39,099 ROMEO WILL STILL BE HERE WHEN IT'’S ALL OVER. 37 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,535 WELL, IT'’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN 38 00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:44,234 WHEN WE PUT OUT A NEW EDITION OF EXPERIOR. 39 00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:45,670 DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT EXPERIOR MEANS? 40 00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,672 - EXPERIOR IS A SUPERHERO 41 00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:50,022 WHO POSSESS THE POWER OF TELEKINESIS 42 00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:54,026 AND EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL TIME TRAVEL. 43 00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:56,333 - IT'’S LATIN FOR "LET IT BE PRINTED," 44 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,466 AND IT'’S ALSO THE NAME OF OUR LITERARY MAGAZINE. 45 00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:00,120 NOW YOU WILL ALL BE SUBMITTING AN ESSAY 46 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,860 FOR THIS YEAR'’S ISSUE, 47 00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:03,775 WHICH, JUDGING BY THE LEVEL OF TALENT IN THIS ROOM, 48 00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:05,429 SHOULD LOOK MORE LIKE A FLYER. 49 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:09,129 THIS YEAR'’S TOPIC: HEROES AND VILLAINS. 50 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,219 - HEY. - OH, I'’LL BE RIGHT BACK. 51 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:14,177 YEAH? - I NEED YOUR HELP. 52 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:15,961 AND QUITE FRANKLY, YOU NEED MINE. 53 00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:18,268 I OVERHEARD PRINCIPAL COX TALKING ABOUT 54 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,052 ANOTHER ROUND-EE-ROUND OF PINK SLIPS. 55 00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,053 - THAT'’S JUST TALK. 56 00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,620 - OH, YEAH? 57 00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:23,969 LOOK WHAT I FOUND ON MY DESK THIS MORNING. 58 00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:25,623 - THAT'’S A PHONE MESSAGE. 59 00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:27,277 - YEAH, BUT IT COULD HAVE JUST AS EASILY BEEN A PINK SLIP. 60 00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:28,539 - WHO ARE YOU? 61 00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,802 - VALERIE MARKS, GUIDANCE COUNSELOR. 62 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,630 AND MORE RECENTLY, CHOIR LEADER, 63 00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:34,589 CHEER COACH, DRILL TEAM MENTOR. 64 00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:36,199 - OH, A WOMAN OF MANY TRADES. 65 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,419 - OH, NO, ONLY ONE. 66 00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,029 I HATE DOING ALL THAT OTHER CRAP. 67 00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:41,726 I'’M JUST TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF INDISPENSABLE. 68 00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:43,163 - WHY ARE YOU HERE? 69 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,077 - THERE'’S A DISTRICT-WIDE VIDEO COMPETITION, 70 00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:46,383 THE WINNER OF WHICH GETS... 71 00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:47,384 [drum roll] 72 00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:48,646 DRUM ROLL. 73 00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:50,648 A NURSE FOR A MONTH. 74 00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,302 - OUR NURSE WAS CUT? 75 00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,435 - LET'’S JUST SAY SHE WENT GENTLY INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT. 76 00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:55,566 E.E. CUMMINGS. - DYLAN THOMAS. 77 00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:57,133 - WHO CARES WHAT THE NURSE'’S NAME WAS? 78 00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,917 IF I WIN THIS THING, IT'’LL INCREASE MY PROFILE 79 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:01,050 AND MAKE ME EVEN MORE INDISPENSABLE-- 80 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:04,009 AND YOU, IF I CAN BORROW YOUR STUDENTS. 81 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:06,795 - WILL THIS PROJECT INTERFERE WITH MY TEACHING SCHEDULE? 82 00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:08,753 - JUST FOR A WEEK. - PERFECT. 83 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:09,972 - DRAMA. 84 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,583 INTRIGUE. SUICIDE. 85 00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:15,020 DRUGS. DEPRESSION. 86 00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,371 FRIENDSHIP. LOVE. 87 00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,111 ALCOHOLISM. 88 00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:22,332 FREEZE FRAMES. 89 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:25,509 THESE DELIGHTFUL AND SOMEWHAT SCARY WORDS 90 00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:28,773 DESCRIBE MY FAVORITE TV GENRE, 91 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,036 THE AFTER... 92 00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:32,386 SCHOOL... 93 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,648 SPECIAL. 94 00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,606 A.S.S. FOR SHORT. 95 00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,479 I WAS ADDICTED TO THEM. 96 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:39,654 - UH, YOU MIGHT WANT TO EXPLAIN THAT, 97 00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:40,872 UNLESS YOU BROUGHT A TIME MACHINE. 98 00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,570 - I DID NOT. 99 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:46,443 AFTER SCHOOL SPECIALS WERE MADE-FOR-TV MOVIES FOR PUBES, 100 00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:48,097 PUBESCENTS, BACK IN THE DAY, 101 00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:49,968 WHICH DEALT WITH CONTROVERSIAL SUBJECTS 102 00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:53,363 AND SOCIALLY RELEVANT ISSUES. 103 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,060 LIFETIME MOVIES FOR TEENS. 104 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:58,542 AND I NEED A CRACKERJACK TEAM OF WRITERS AND FILMMAKERS 105 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,065 WHO CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN. 106 00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:02,024 WE'’LL MEET AFTER SCHOOL THIS WEEK. 107 00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:04,244 FEEL FREE TO ASK YOUR FRIENDS TO PARTICIPATE. 108 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:07,159 BUT ONLY THE ATTRACTIVE ONES. 109 00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,074 WE'’RE TALKING HD-FRIENDLY. 110 00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,815 UH-UH. 111 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:13,427 - UGH, THE A.S.S. IS GONNA BE A TRAIN WRECK. 112 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,603 WHAT SHOULD WE DO IN IT? - NOTHING. 113 00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,300 NOW THAT I'’M GROUNDED, 114 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,997 AFTER SCHOOL IS THE ONLY TIME WE GET TO SPEND TOGETHER. 115 00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:21,261 - YEAH, BUT I DON'’T THINK WE CAN GET OUT OF IT. 116 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:25,352 - OH, YES, WE CAN. 117 00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,963 - HAVE YOU BEEN CRYING? YOUR EYES LOOK BLOODSHOT. 118 00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,444 - I GUESS I JUST GOT A LITTLE EMOTIONAL 119 00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,272 WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT MY MOM. 120 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,447 - DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO L-DOG? 121 00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:34,752 - SHE SPRAINED HER BACK. 122 00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,885 - OH, NO. OH, I GOTTA CALL HER. 123 00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:37,973 - NO, DON'’T DO THAT. 124 00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:39,670 SHE DOESN'’T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW. 125 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,411 SHE'’S EMBARRASSED. 126 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:45,415 - OH, BECAUSE IT HAPPENED DURING SEX? 127 00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:46,851 - I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY. 128 00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,462 - HMM, I SEE. 129 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:51,073 I BET THAT KEVIN'’S A REAL STINGRAY IN THE SACK. 130 00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:53,815 - COLLIN AND I HAVE TO GO STRAIGHT HOME AFTER SCHOOL, 131 00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,947 AND WE CAN'’T BE IN YOUR AWESOME VIDEO. 132 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,645 WE'’RE SO BUMMED. 133 00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,255 - IF I HAD TO GUESS WHAT YOUR PARENTS WERE DOING, 134 00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,561 I'’D SAY THE PILE DRIVER. 135 00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:04,216 OR MAYBE THE BACKWARDS JELLYFISH. 136 00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,566 WHY DOES COLLIN NEED TO BE THERE? 137 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:07,307 - MY MOM NEEDS HELP GETTING TO THE BATHROOM 138 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,091 UNTIL MY DAD GETS HOME. 139 00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:11,223 - YOU ARE RELEASED. 140 00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:12,660 I TAKE THAT BACK. 141 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,576 MUST HAVE BEEN THE DIRTY SANTA CLAUS. 142 00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,322 - ARE YOU TRYING TO TORTURE YOURSELF, 143 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,324 OR ARE YOU JUST A STRAIGHT-UP CREEPER? 144 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,413 - I AM JUST TRYING TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND 145 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,023 HOW THE HELL THIS HAPPENED. 146 00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:29,546 - WHY DO YOU CARE? 147 00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:32,027 JENNA IS A HO-BAG-SLUT-MACHINE 148 00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:34,464 WHO HUMILIATED YOU IN FRONT OF THE WORLD. 149 00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:37,337 - YEAH, BUT SOMEWHERE DEEP DOWN, SHE'’S STILL MY FRIEND. 150 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,904 - YOU ARE SO NICE, IT'’S ANNOYING. 151 00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:42,385 - THE SUBJECT MATTER FOR THE AFTER-SCHOOL SPECIALS 152 00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:46,128 RAN THE GAMUT FROM DRUNK MOMS TO TEENAGE PROSTITUTION 153 00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:47,999 TO RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS. 154 00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:49,000 - [giggles] 155 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,829 - IS THAT FUNNY TO YOU, BLONDIE? 156 00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:53,701 HOW FUNNY YOU THINK IT WAS FOR POOR CAROL ANN, 157 00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:56,181 A SKATER ON HER WAY TO OLYMPIC GOLD 158 00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:58,358 WHO WOKE UP ONE DAY AND COULDN'’T FIT 159 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,011 HER FAT ELEPHANT FEET INTO HER SIZE 6 SKATES? 160 00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:02,013 - NOT FUNNY AT ALL. 161 00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,364 - EVEN THOUGH EVERY A.S.S. HAD A DIFFERENT MESSAGE, 162 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,279 THEY HAD THE SAME SIX STEPS TO GET YOU THERE. 163 00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:20,031 NUMBER ONE, 164 00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,773 ESTABLISH THE PROBLEM OF THE MAIN CHARACTER, 165 00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:24,471 THE TROUBLED TEEN. 166 00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:25,907 - CAN I PLAY HER? 167 00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,430 - ONLY IF WE END UP DOING PORN STAR RUNAWAY 168 00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,300 OR EATING DISORDER. 169 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,519 - SPEAKING OF SLUTTY, 170 00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,216 HOW DID JENNA GET OUT OF THIS? 171 00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:32,653 - CAN'’T TALK ABOUT IT. 172 00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:33,784 LET'’S JUST SAY IT INVOLVED A SEX INJURY. 173 00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:37,788 - OF COURSE IT DID. 174 00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,355 I HAVE AN IDEA. 175 00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,401 WHY DON'’T WE DO A STORY 176 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,403 ABOUT A TROUBLED LOSER GIRL 177 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,056 WHO'’S SO DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION 178 00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:46,971 SHE TRIES TO COMMIT SUICIDE, FAILS, 179 00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:49,844 THEN DEFIES ALL ODDS BY BECOMING POPULAR 180 00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,976 AND THEN MANAGES SLOWLY BUT SURELY 181 00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:54,370 TO ALIENATE EVERYONE IN HER LIFE, 182 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,764 AND THEN SHE DIES? 183 00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,898 - I THINK IT'’S... 184 00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:03,292 PERFECT. 185 00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:05,076 ALL WE NEED IS A TITLE. 186 00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:08,863 - HOW ABOUT, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT JENNY? 187 00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,952 - I THINK WE HAVE A WINNER. 188 00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:12,823 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT-- 189 00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,738 - JENNA. 190 00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:17,306 SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT HER? 191 00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:18,742 - I'’M CONFUSED. 192 00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,265 I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WANTED TO TALK TO HER AGAIN. 193 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:21,528 - I DON'’T WANNA TALK TO HER. I WANNA YELL AT HER. 194 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,181 - I KINDA WANNA SMACK HER. 195 00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:24,966 - I TRIED TO STAY OUT OF IT, BUT I CAN'’T JUST SIT BACK 196 00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,838 AND WATCH JENNA DRIFT INTO AMANDA BYNESVILLE. 197 00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:29,884 - SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 198 00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,233 - I THINK WE'’RE GONNA NEED SOME GUIDANCE 199 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,888 OR SOME COUNSELING. 200 00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:37,282 OR SOME GUIDANCE COUNSELING. 201 00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:38,588 WHAT DO WE DO IF WE KNOW ONE OF OUR FRIENDS 202 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,938 IS IN TROUBLE? 203 00:07:40,938 --> 00:07:41,983 - I DON'’T KNOW, TALK TO '’EM, I GUESS. 204 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:45,116 - BUT HE, OR SHE, WON'’T LISTEN TO US 205 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:46,944 BECAUSE HE, OR SHE, HAS BEEN HANGING OUT 206 00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:48,250 WITH A REALLY BAD DUDE. 207 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,860 - OH, I SEE. 208 00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,862 YOUR FRIEND'’S HAVING A GENDER IDENTITY CRISIS. 209 00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:54,430 - NO, OUR FRIEND IS SKIPPING SCHOOL 210 00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:59,000 AND TURNING INTO A GANGE-HEAD. 211 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,002 - YOU STRIKE ME AS BEING VERY CONCERNED 212 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,743 ABOUT YOUR FRIEND. 213 00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,962 I'’D GO SO FAR AS TO CALL YOU 214 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:08,313 THE CONCERNED FRIENDS. 215 00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:10,446 MY ADVICE IS TO GET INVOLVED 216 00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:13,057 IN AN AFTER-SCHOOL ACTIVITY. 217 00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,494 MING, CAN YOU REMOVE YOUR HAT PLEASE? 218 00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,807 HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT ACTING? 219 00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:26,288 TAMARA HAD A MEMORABLE SCENERY-CHEWING TURN 220 00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,508 IN DEAD STACEY, BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU TWO? 221 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,509 - I WAS IN IT TOO. 222 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,988 - EH, NOT SO MEMORABLE. 223 00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,207 - HOW IS ACTING GOING TO HELP? 224 00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:33,730 - IT'’LL FREE YOU UP AS PEOPLE. 225 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:34,992 OKAY, PLEASE STAND UP. 226 00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:38,213 I'’D LIKE TO TRY SOME IMPROV. 227 00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:39,867 - I'’M CONFUSED. 228 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:40,955 - YEAH, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING? 229 00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,217 - YOU'’RE SUPPOSED TO BE CONFUSED, 230 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:44,393 AND YOU ARE SUCCEEDING. 231 00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:46,787 YOU, YOU'’RE ABOUT TO BE SHIPPED OFF TO A GERMAN WORK CAMP. 232 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:49,006 YOU CAN ONLY BRING ONE FRIEND. THE OTHER FRIEND WILL DIE. 233 00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,094 WHO DO YOU CHOOSE? DON'’T THINK! 234 00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,792 - I DON'’T KNOW, I CAN'’T DECIDE! 235 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,141 BUT I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN KILL OFF ONE OF MY FRIENDS. 236 00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,925 - OH, IMPRESSIVE. 237 00:08:57,014 --> 00:09:01,410 YOU TWO IN THE BACK, PLEASE STEP FORWARD. 238 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,368 JAKE, TAKE ONE STEP BACK. 239 00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:08,678 YOU TWO IN THE FRONT ROW, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU MADE IT. 240 00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:10,985 - [squeals] - YOU IN THE BACK, 241 00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:12,943 I'’M SORRY. 242 00:09:12,943 --> 00:09:14,466 YOU'’LL HAVE TO TELL YOUR MOM THAT YOU'’LL BE LATE TO DINNER, 243 00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,120 BECAUSE YOU MADE IT TOO! - I MADE WHAT? 244 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,383 - MY A.S.S., MY AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL VIDEO. 245 00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:20,734 - NO, I'’M NOT DOING THAT. - NOT MY JAM. 246 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,300 - I'’LL GIVE YOU A MENTAL HEALTH DAY PASS TO SKIP SCHOOL. 247 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,301 - DONE. - I'’M IN. 248 00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:23,911 - I DON'’T NEED THE PASS. 249 00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:32,789 - HAVE YOU STARTED YOUR ESSAY YET? 250 00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,835 - I'’LL WRITE IT TONIGHT. 251 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,140 IF I CAN STAY AWAKE. 252 00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,360 WHAT TIME DID YOU LEAVE LAST NIGHT--2:00? 253 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:42,625 - MM, MORE LIKE 3:00. 254 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,454 HEY. 255 00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,804 - WHAT IS IT? 256 00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,720 - A TICKET FOR THE "A" TRAIN. 257 00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:55,682 - WHAT IF I NEED A ROUND-TRIP TICKET? 258 00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:01,688 [energetic techno music] 259 00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,733 I HADN'’T DECIDED WHAT TO WRITE MY ESSAY ABOUT, 260 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:06,083 SO I WAS JUST WRITING ANYTHING THAT POPPED INTO MY HEAD. 261 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:08,085 BUT WHY WAS IT SO HARD TO SETTLE ON A SUBJECT MATTER? 262 00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,652 HERO OR VILLAIN? MAYBE RUNNING AROUND THE BLOCK 263 00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:11,219 A FEW TIMES WOULD HELP ME DECIDE. 264 00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:13,656 I HAD NEVER FELT SO INSPIRED AND YET SO SCATTERED. 265 00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:16,616 IT WAS WEIRD AND AWESOME, BUT WHAT WAS EVEN AWESOMER-- 266 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,052 [soft piano music] - THERE WERE CERTAIN THINGS 267 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,923 I HAD LEARNED ABOUT MYSELF OVER THE YEARS, 268 00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,186 BUT THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING WAS 269 00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:27,017 I LOVED WRITING ABOUT ME AND ALL MY STUPID PROBLEMS. 270 00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,715 MAYBE MY SIDE BRAID WAS CUTTING OFF 271 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:29,933 THE CIRCULATION TO MY BRAIN, 272 00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,456 BUT I COULDN'’T STOP DOING DUMB STUFF 273 00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:32,675 I WOULD REGRET LATER. 274 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,416 - CUT! [bell rings] 275 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,461 ENOUGH WITH THE BLOGGING. JESUS. 276 00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,855 SO BORING. AM I RIGHT? 277 00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,596 - TOTALLY. - WATCH YOURSELF. 278 00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:43,381 I WROTE YOU INTO THE SCRIPT, AND I CAN WRITE YOU OUT. 279 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,905 - THIS IS ABOUT JENNA. 280 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,646 - AND SHE IS NOT GONNA LIKE IT. 281 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,778 - OR IT'’LL SNAP HER OUT OF HER INSANITY. 282 00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,388 - OKAY. 283 00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:53,696 LET'’S MOVE ON TO THE "ESTABLISH THE PROBLEM" MONTAGE. 284 00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,959 KYLE, YOU'’RE THE GOOD GUY JOCK. 285 00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,700 JAKE, YOU'’RE THE BAD GUY. 286 00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,571 - WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE BAD GUY? 287 00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:00,790 - '’CAUSE YOU'’RE ALWAYS TYPECAST AS A GOODY-GOODY. 288 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,923 - IN WHAT? - IN LIFE. 289 00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,925 [scoffs] 290 00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:06,709 - I WASN'’T ALWAYS A BAD GIRL. 291 00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:08,885 I WAS JUST BORING AND LAME. 292 00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:11,409 BUT LATELY, I HAD BECOME A HARD-CORE BITCH 293 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,890 WHO ALSO HAPPENED TO BE BORING AND LAME. 294 00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,501 BUT IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND HOW I GOT WHERE I WAS, 295 00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:19,156 YOU NEEDED TO KNOW WHERE I'’D BEEN. 296 00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:20,810 AFTER GETTING CAUGHT CHEATING WITH CALVIN 297 00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:22,029 ON MY BOYFRIEND, DANNY, 298 00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,334 I LOST ALL MY FRIENDS. 299 00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,554 I WAS ALONE. 300 00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:27,730 BUT IT WASN'’T LONG BEFORE I FOUND A NEW FRIEND 301 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,297 TO LIFT MY SPIRITS-- 302 00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:31,299 MARY JANE. 303 00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:33,344 I HAD BECOME AN ADDICT AND A LOSER. 304 00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:34,432 WELL... [giggles] 305 00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:36,391 A MORE EPIC LOSER, 306 00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:40,047 SINCE I WAS A LOSER FROM THE START. 307 00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,091 BUT MY PIECE DE RESISTANCE WAS PUSHING AWAY 308 00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:43,050 THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO HAD TO LOVE ME... 309 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:44,660 [door clicks open] 310 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,140 PEOPLE WHO WERE FAR MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN ME 311 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,663 AND IN NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM COULD HAVE BEEN 312 00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,360 MY BIOLOGICAL PARENTS, 313 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,797 BECAUSE THEY WERE SMOKIN'’ HOT. 314 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:53,103 I HATE YOU AND YOUR BOOBS! - I HATE YOU! 315 00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,149 - AND IT MADE ME WANT TO DIE... 316 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:57,064 EVEN MORE THAN USUAL. 317 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,979 [gags] 318 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,158 - HEY, IT'’S ME. 319 00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:06,290 I'’M JUST CALLING TO SAY I MISS YOU. 320 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:07,552 I KNOW IT'’S ONLY BEEN TEN SECONDS, 321 00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:09,076 BUT I MISS YOU ALREADY. 322 00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:10,904 MEET ME IN MY ROOM IN 30? 323 00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:12,732 OKAY, BYE. WHOA. 324 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,951 - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 325 00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:17,345 - YOU'’RE SICK? - AND YOU'’RE UNBELIEVABLE. 326 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:18,694 YOU DON'’T EVEN REMEMBER YOUR OWN LIES. 327 00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,391 THEY'’RE FROM VALERIE. 328 00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:22,002 - SHE'’S DOING THIS LAME VIDEO PROJECT AFTER SCHOOL, 329 00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,568 AND I CAN'’T WASTE MY TIME ON THAT 330 00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:26,223 WHEN I'’VE GOT AN IMPORTANT PAPER TO WRITE FOR MR. HART. 331 00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,834 IT'’S GONNA BE PUBLISHED IN HIS LIT MAGAZINE. 332 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,139 ISN'’T THAT COOL? 333 00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:30,967 - SO YOU LIED TO VALERIE 334 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,926 TO GET OUT OF DOING HER PROJECT, 335 00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:34,405 AND YOU USED ME AS YOUR EXCUSE, 336 00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,233 NOT TO MENTION YOUR DAD, 337 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:39,323 WHO VALERIE NOW THINKS IS SOME CRAZY SEX FIEND. 338 00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:42,065 JENNA, SHE SENT ME A JELLYFISH BALLOON. 339 00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:43,719 - MOM, IT'’S NO BIG DEAL-- - EH! 340 00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:45,068 GET IN THE CAR. 341 00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:47,027 YOU ARE DOING THIS LAME VIDEO, 342 00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:48,985 AND ON THE WAY OVER, YOU'’RE GONNA EXPLAIN TO ME 343 00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,595 WHAT A BACKWARDS JELLYFISH IS. 344 00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:51,596 - CUT! 345 00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,860 [bell rings] 346 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,470 [sighs] 347 00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:57,515 I'’VE SEEN ROCK BOTTOM, AND THAT WASN'’T IT. 348 00:12:57,515 --> 00:13:00,040 WE ARE TALKING DEPTHS OF DESPAIR, 349 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,521 BASEMENT LEVEL, ABSOLUTE BOTTOM. 350 00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:06,698 LIKE IF YOUR PARENTS LOST ALL THEIR MONEY. 351 00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:10,137 - IN THAT CASE, I WOULD DEFINITELY KILL MYSELF. 352 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,965 IF I WERE JENNY. 353 00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,967 - I KNOW HOW TO MAKE FAKE BLOOD. 354 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:16,708 IT TOTALLY LOOKS REAL. IT EVEN SMELLS REAL. 355 00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:19,102 BUT IT'’S NOT. 356 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,364 [eerie screech] 357 00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:22,192 - NO. NO. NO BLOOD. NO DYING. 358 00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:23,498 WE ARE NOT GONNA WIN THIS CONTEST 359 00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:24,716 WITH A SAD ENDING. 360 00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:27,328 THIS ISN'’T THE GOLDEN GLOBES. 361 00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:30,984 - JENNY LIVES. 362 00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,376 - L-DOG! 363 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,726 SO GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK ON YOUR FEET, 364 00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,816 YOU SNEAKY DICKENS, YOU. 365 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,643 YOU KNOW, I'’VE ALWAYS BELIEVED IN THE POWER 366 00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,776 OF A GOOD BALLOON ARRANGEMENT. 367 00:13:40,776 --> 00:13:42,909 THAT'’S WHY THEY CALL IT "HEAL-IUM". 368 00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,998 - AND I AM HEALED! 369 00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:48,828 WHICH MEANS JENNA DOESN'’T HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME ANYMORE. 370 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,264 SHE IS ALL YOURS. 371 00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:51,569 - GREAT! 372 00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:56,226 F.Y.I., IT'’S A CLOSED SET. 373 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,053 PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF! [bell rings] 374 00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:59,316 ANNND ACTION! VOICEOVER. 375 00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,014 - I HAD HIT ROCK BOTTOM, 376 00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,712 AND IT FELT SURPRISINGLY LIKE HOME. 377 00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,453 EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS NOWHERE TO GO BUT UP, 378 00:14:05,453 --> 00:14:07,716 I WANTED TO STAY THERE AND MOVE IN. 379 00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:09,805 - WHAT IS THIS? 380 00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:13,156 - AN UBER-TRAGIC TALE ABOUT A LOSER GIRL 381 00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,463 WHO WANTS TO DIE, CALLED... 382 00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:18,074 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT JENNY? 383 00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,426 - YOU'’VE GOT TO BE [bleep] KIDDING ME. 384 00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,956 - JENNA, YOU ARE GOING TO BE 385 00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,044 CONCERNED FRIEND NUMBER FOUR. 386 00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:31,827 - ACTUALLY, I THINK I'’D MAKE 387 00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:32,959 A MUCH BETTER ENEMY. 388 00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,569 - NO, NO, NO, NO. 389 00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:35,962 YOU'’RE WAY TOO GOODY-TWO-SHOES TO PULL THAT OFF. 390 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:38,007 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, ACTORS. 391 00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,095 YOU'’RE IN THE MALL. 392 00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:41,358 THERE ARE ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE, 393 00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:42,838 AND THEY'’RE HEADED FOR THE FOOD COURT-- 394 00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:44,666 ONLY YOU ARE THE FOOD. 395 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:46,973 THAT IS YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE. AND ACTION! 396 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,717 - GET OUT OF MY ROOM! 397 00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:54,545 - WE CAN'’T WATCH YOU THROW AWAY YOUR LIFE! 398 00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,286 - MY LIFE IS OVER! 399 00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:58,027 I HAD A HOT BOYFRIEND WHO LOVED ME 400 00:14:58,027 --> 00:15:01,378 EVEN THOUGH I'’M AN UNLOVABLE, PLAIN LOSER FREAK 401 00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:02,727 WITH NO FASHION SENSE, 402 00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:05,687 BUT I DUMPED HIM FOR A POTHEAD DOUCHE HOLE, 403 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:06,993 AND NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT, 404 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,559 WHICH IS WHY I GET HIGH 405 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,518 JUST TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY. 406 00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:12,737 - I DON'’T CARE IF YOU HATE US RIGHT NOW. 407 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,739 WE'’RE YOUR FRIENDS, AND YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS. 408 00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:16,306 - I HAVE NO FRIENDS! 409 00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:17,829 I'’M A LOSER! 410 00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:20,397 I'’M SO DIRTY AND GROSS AND HIGH, 411 00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,356 I JUST WANT TO KILL MYSELF! 412 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,314 - STOP TALKING LIKE THAT. WE LOVE YOU, 413 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:25,750 AND WE'’RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 414 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,622 - ACTUALLY, JENNY, I'’M NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU AT ALL. 415 00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,971 YOU SEEM FINE TO ME, 416 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,930 SO GO ON AND LIVE YOUR LIFE, 417 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,235 WHICH IS NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. 418 00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:34,020 WE'’LL LEAVE YOU ALONE. 419 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,325 - WE ALREADY LEFT HER ALONE, 420 00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:37,458 AND SHE MADE SOME VERY BAD CHOICES. 421 00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,547 - SO WHAT? THEY WERE HER CHOICES. 422 00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:40,852 - WERE THEY? BECAUSE IT SEEMED LIKE JENNY 423 00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:43,464 WAS JUST DOING WHATEVER HER BOYFRIEND WANTED HER TO DO. 424 00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:45,814 - AND THAT GUY IS BAD NEWS. 425 00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:47,555 - THEY'’RE IMPROVISING. 426 00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:50,123 - OH, IMPROV. 427 00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,211 - YOU DON'’T EVEN KNOW CALVIN, 428 00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:52,038 AND I CAN SAY THAT FOR A FACT 429 00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,735 BECAUSE I HARDLY KNOW HIM, 430 00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,128 BECAUSE WE'’RE TOO BUSY GETTING HIGH 431 00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:57,652 AND DOING IT TO HAVE AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION. 432 00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,915 - NOT TRUE--YOU AND CALVIN HAVE MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS 433 00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:01,438 ALL THE TIME. 434 00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:02,613 - I THINK JENNY'’S JUST DATING HIM 435 00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,311 '’CAUSE SHE LIKES HANGING OUT WITH A BAD BOY. 436 00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:07,140 - OR MAYBE BECAUSE HE HAS THE SWEET POT CONNECTIONS. 437 00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:09,707 - OR MAYBE BECAUSE HE OWNS A JET SKI! 438 00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:11,013 - SHE'’S DATING HIM BECAUSE SHE LIKES HIM. 439 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,188 END OF STORY. 440 00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,711 - ALL THIS FIGHTING AND ARGUING 441 00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,278 JUST MAKES ME WANT TO DIE MORE! 442 00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,801 - YOU ARE SO OUT OF IT, 443 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,455 YOU DON'’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'’RE SAYING! 444 00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,022 - I AM NOT OUT OF IT, AND I DON'’T NEED YOUR HELP, 445 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,502 SO LEAVE ME ALONE. 446 00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:24,244 [The Dig'’s Over You] 447 00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:31,077 - ♪ FALL INTO A DREAM 448 00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:34,689 ♪ IN A HOLLOW ROOM 449 00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,560 - UH, GIVE ME A MINUTE. 450 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,649 - ♪ FROZEN IN A SLEEP 451 00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:39,694 - HEY. 452 00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:41,043 - WHAT? 453 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,523 ARE YOU GONNA TALK TO ME TOO? 454 00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,003 TELL ME I'’M GOING DOWN THE WRONG PATH, 455 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,830 HANGING OUT WITH BAD PEOPLE? 456 00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,832 YOU WANNA WARN ME? GO FOR IT. 457 00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:51,793 - ♪ CALLING OUT TO ME 458 00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:54,970 - NOPE. 459 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:58,669 - ♪ CALLING OUT MY NAME 460 00:16:58,669 --> 00:16:59,975 - I'’M SORRY, J. 461 00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:03,283 YOU'’RE SUSPENDED. 462 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,508 - I GOT YOU THE PILLS, BUT THIS ISN'’T ENOUGH. 463 00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:12,814 - IT'’S ALL I GOT. 464 00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:13,641 I'’LL GIVE YOU THE REST TOMORROW, DUDE. 465 00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:14,642 I SWEAR. 466 00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:15,773 - THAT'’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 467 00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:18,733 guys: [grunting] 468 00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:20,909 - UGH! 469 00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,998 - OH, MY GOD, YOU KILLED HIM! 470 00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,826 - OH! 471 00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:27,133 [gasping] 472 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,961 [dramatic synthesizer music] 473 00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:35,619 ♪ 474 00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:39,623 - CALVIN! 475 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:44,063 NOOO... 476 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,673 ALL THIS FIGHTING AND ARGUING 477 00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,849 JUST MAKES ME WANT TO DIE MORE! 478 00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,677 - YOU ARE SO OUT OF IT, 479 00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,026 YOU DON'’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'’RE SAYING. 480 00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,680 - I AM NOT OUT OF IT, AND I DON'’T NEED YOUR HELP, 481 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:53,724 SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. 482 00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,726 - I JUST WANT TO KILL MYSELF! 483 00:17:55,726 --> 00:18:02,559 ♪ 484 00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:03,865 I WANTED TO DIE. 485 00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:05,780 I DESERVE TO DIE. 486 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:08,522 BUT I GUESS IT'’S TIME FOR ME TO START LIVING... 487 00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:11,133 FOR NOW. 488 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:16,617 [uplifting music] 489 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:24,538 ♪ 490 00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:30,935 - FIRST PRIZE GOES TO... 491 00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:33,721 VALERIE MARKS, FOR HER MOVING PORTRAIT 492 00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:36,767 OF A DEEPLY TROUBLED GIRL WHO LOST HER WAY. 493 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:41,816 DEEPLY TROUBLED GIRL WHO LOST HER WAY... 494 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,212 - YOU ARE SO OUT OF IT, YOU DON'’T EVEN KNOW 495 00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,865 WHAT YOU'’RE SAYING. 496 00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:49,432 - I AM NOT OUT OF IT, AND I DON'’T NEED YOUR HELP, 497 00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:52,131 SO JUST LEAVE ME ALO-- [click] 498 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,655 - OH, MY GOD. 499 00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,352 I WAS SO BUSY WITH MY A.S.S., 500 00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:58,615 I DIDN'’T SEE THE A.S.S. IN FRONT OF MY FACE. 501 00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:00,791 JENNA IS JENNY. 502 00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:02,793 [doorbell rings] 503 00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:04,795 [crickets chirping] 504 00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,057 - WHY ARE YOU HERE? 505 00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:08,103 - I'’M THE HELP THAT ARRIVES. YAY! 506 00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:09,278 - WELL, I DON'’T NEED IT, 507 00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:10,105 SO WHY DON'’T YOU BE THE HELP 508 00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,411 THAT GOES THE HELL AWAY? 509 00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:12,412 - THAT'’S THE POT TALKING. 510 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,979 AND I AM SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME SO LONG 511 00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:17,112 TO GET UP TO SPEED-- WHICH YOU MIGHT BE ON TOO. 512 00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:19,810 BUT I'’M READY NOW. 513 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:22,422 AND AS YOUR FRIEND, I'’M READY TO HELP, 514 00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:23,727 '’CAUSE YOU'’RE MY GIRL. 515 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:26,121 - YOUR GIRL. 516 00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:27,601 DON'’T YOU SEE HOW WEIRD THAT IS? 517 00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:29,037 NO, OF COURSE YOU DON'’T, 518 00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:30,212 '’CAUSE YOU DON'’T UNDERSTAND BOUNDARIES. 519 00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:31,996 I'’M NOT YOUR FRIEND, 520 00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:33,389 AND I NEVER HAVE BEEN. 521 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:35,086 YOU'’RE JUST MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR, 522 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:39,656 AND A SUCKY ONE AT THAT. 523 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:40,831 SINCE I HAD KNOWN HER, 524 00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,529 VALERIE HAD ALWAYS CROSSED THE LINE, 525 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:44,792 AND I HAD ALWAYS LET IT SLIDE. 526 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,360 BUT WHAT WAS THE POINT OF OUR SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP 527 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,578 IF SHE WASN'’T GOING TO LET ME OFF 528 00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:50,101 WITH A SLAP ON THE WRIST? 529 00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:51,929 AS FAR AS I WAS CONCERNED, 530 00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:54,410 BY SUSPENDING ME, SHE HAD CROSSED OVER THE LINE 531 00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:57,674 TO THE POINT OF NO RETURN, 532 00:19:57,674 --> 00:20:00,286 WHICH IS EXACTLY WHERE I WANTED TO BE... 533 00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,249 UNTIL I FOUND A DRUG THAT WAS GOING TO MAKE ME 534 00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,251 FEEL REALLYGOOD-- 535 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,644 REVENGE. 536 00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,733 THE GOOD THING ABOUT HAVING BEEN SUSPENDED? 537 00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:15,823 I HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO FINISH HART'’S ASSIGNMENT, 538 00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:18,260 AND I KNEW EXACTLY WHO I WOULD WRITE ABOUT. 539 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,220 ONLY THERE WEREN'’T GOING TO BE ANY HEROES IN MY STORY, 540 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,265 JUST A VILLAIN. 541 00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:25,572 ONE VERY FAMILIAR VILLAIN. 542 00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:29,619 - ♪ RIGHT TO SHARE YOUR QUERIES ♪ 543 00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:34,363 ♪ OF THE DAY 544 00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:38,498 ♪ 545 00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:40,804 - IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO TAKE THAT BITCH DOWN. 546 00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:46,680 - NEXT, ON AWKWARD... WHAT'’S GOING ON HERE? 547 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,203 - LIL'’ BITCH, THIS IS YOUR INTERVENTION. 548 00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:48,986 [grunts] - YOU'’RE ALL A BUNCH 549 00:20:48,986 --> 00:20:50,858 OF HYPOCRITES. 550 00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,381 - YOU'’RE GROUNDED. - I'’M OUT. 551 00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:54,078 - IF YOU LEAVE... - WHAT? 552 00:20:54,078 --> 00:20:55,689 - DON'’T COME BACK. 553 00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:58,257 - YOU MADE IT. [giggles] 554 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,737 - YOU MADE IT TOO. [laughs nervously] 555 00:21:00,737 --> 00:21:02,261 SO RANDOM, RUNNING INTO ANGELIQUE HERE. 556 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,740 - ACTUALLY, I INVITED HER. 39683

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