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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:03,612 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,612 --> 00:00:05,092 A BARBECUE IS THE PERFECT WAY 3 00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:07,442 TO EASE THE WEIRDNESS. - GO TO THE DAMN BARBECUE! 4 00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:09,270 - YOUR FRIENDS MIGHT NEED SOME TIME TO ADJUST. 5 00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,923 - WHAT THEY NEED IS TIME WITH YOU. 6 00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:13,230 - THEY'’RE NOT COMING. - YOU ARE TOTALLY TAKING SIDES! 7 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:14,797 - WE WEREN'’T TAKING SIDES, BUT WE ARE NOW, 8 00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,712 AND WE ARE NOT ON YOURS. 9 00:00:21,673 --> 00:00:23,153 - POST DE-FRIENDING MY FRIENDS, 10 00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:26,852 MY LIFE HAD BECOME A LITTLE...HAZY. 11 00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,506 I WAS CONSUMED WITH ANGER, 12 00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:34,469 DISAPPOINTMENT, AND THE GIGGLES. 13 00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:35,861 - THIS STUFF IS CALLED PARTY HARD-Y, 14 00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,341 BUT DON'’T LET THE NAME FOOL YOU, 15 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:38,951 BECAUSE IT'’S SURPRISINGLY MELLOW. 16 00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:43,304 - I'’LL PASS. I NEED A CLEAR HEAD. 17 00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:46,350 - FOR WHAT, YOUR NEXT DIATRIBE 18 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,831 ABOUT HOW MUCH YOUR FRIENDS SUCK? 19 00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:51,616 - YES! - COME ON. 20 00:00:51,616 --> 00:00:53,966 IT'’LL HELP SMOOTH YOU OUT. 21 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:57,100 THEN WE CAN DISCUSS THE POINTLESS NOTHINGNESS OF LIFE. 22 00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,363 - COLLIN WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE ME TO MAKE THE JUMP 23 00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:01,974 FROM MY TRAUMA TRAIN ONTO HIS GOOD TIME EXPRESS. 24 00:01:01,974 --> 00:01:05,543 SO WHAT WAS HOLDING ME BACK? NOTHING. 25 00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:08,677 IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO EXHALE THE HYPOCRISY OF MY FRIENDS, 26 00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,505 AND INHALE THE WONDERS OF AN HERBAL LIFE. 27 00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:12,420 HIT ME. 28 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,209 [coughing] - YOU GOT IT. 29 00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:21,733 - WHILE MY ANXIETY HAD NOT YET LEFT THE CAR, 30 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:24,171 I WAS SUDDENLY READY TO WAX POETIC 31 00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,912 ON THE TRIVIAL NATURE OF BACKSTABBING FRIENDS. 32 00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:29,785 I WAS HOPEFULLY ABOUT TO BE CALM, COOL, AND... 33 00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:32,962 [siren chirps] 34 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,877 CONVICTED. 35 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:40,491 - DO YOU REALIZE HOW LUCKY YOU ARE 36 00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:42,754 THAT I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH OFFICER MERCADO? 37 00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:45,453 AND THAT HE DROVE YOU HOME INSTEAD OF THE STATION? 38 00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:48,760 - YES, DAD, I KNOW. 39 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,415 EVIDENTLY, SOME HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS WERE WORTH KEEPING. 40 00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:53,200 - MM, DID YOU SAY HI TO JERRY FOR ME? 41 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,679 - LACE, I THINK KEEPING IT SHORT AND SWEET 42 00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:56,333 WAS IN EVERYONE'’S BEST INTERESTS. 43 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:57,160 - SHOULD I GO TO MY ROOM NOW? 44 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,684 both: NO! 45 00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:02,426 - NOW, WHAT DID YOU LEARN TONIGHT? 46 00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,515 - I LEARNED TO MAKE FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES. 47 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,735 - [laughs] - WHAT'’S SO FUNNY? 48 00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:09,825 - SHE SAID, "HIGH PLACES." 49 00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:11,043 MM, OH, CHIPS? 50 00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:12,610 YES. - [chuckles] 51 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:16,701 - JENNA, DON'’T BE A SMARTASS. 52 00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:19,356 YOU WERE JUST CAUGHT WITH AN ILLEGAL SUBSTANCE, 53 00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:20,966 WHICH YOU SHOULD NOT BE SMOKING. 54 00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,925 - UNLESS YOU'’RE AT HOME. 55 00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:24,535 - I'’M CONFUSED. 56 00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:26,363 ARE YOU GUYS CONDONING MY EXPERIMENTATION? 57 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,538 - ABSOLUTELY NOT. 58 00:02:27,538 --> 00:02:29,061 I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART ENOUGH NOT-- 59 00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:30,976 - TO GET CAUGHT. [snorts] 60 00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:36,199 - WHAT'’S GOING ON HERE? 61 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,941 - WE'’RE DISCIPLINING YOU. 62 00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:41,204 - WITHOUT BEING HYPOCRITES. 63 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,990 - '’CAUSE YOU'’RE BOTH HIGH. 64 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:49,517 - NO. - YES. 65 00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:50,822 - WELL LISTEN, YOU DON'’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME. 66 00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:52,868 I NEVER WANT TO BE IN THE BACK OF A COP CAR AGAIN. 67 00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,913 IT WAS TRAUMATIC. 68 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:58,178 IF I EVER DECIDE TO DO SOMETHING DUMB, I WILL DO IT IN PRIVATE. 69 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,484 - NO! THE-- - GOOD! IT-- 70 00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:03,357 - CAN I GO TO MY ROOM NOW? both: YES. 71 00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:06,447 - BUT, UH, LEAVE THE CHIPS. 72 00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:08,536 - AND NO TV FOR A MONTH! 73 00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:11,278 - NO TV FOR A MONTH? - OR UNTIL I GET PREGNANT. 74 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:14,019 I'’VE BEEN WATCHING DOCUMENTARIES ON HOW INFRARED RADIO WAVES 75 00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,848 EMITTED FROM TV SCREENS CAN INTERFERE WITH FERTILITY. 76 00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:20,678 - SO YOU'’RE WATCHING TELEVISION ABOUT NOT WATCHING TELEVISION. 77 00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,202 THAT'’S REALLY SMART. - I KNOW. 78 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,421 [laughs] IT'’S SO MUCH EASIER THAN READING A BOOK. 79 00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:26,815 - YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE A BABY. - WHY? 80 00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:28,904 - THERE ARE A MULTITUDE OF REASONS, 81 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,340 BUT LET'’S START WITH THE OBVIOUS. 82 00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,863 YOU'’RE A TRAIN WRECK. 83 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:34,170 - [gasps] IS THAT ANY WAY TO TALK 84 00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:37,086 TO THE WOMAN WHO IS RAISING YOU WHILE YOUR MOM IS OUT OF TOWN? 85 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,741 - UNCLE DAN IS PAYING YOU! 86 00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:42,700 - AND FOR GOOD REASON. YOU'’RE A PAIN IN MY ASS. 87 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,136 ALL YOU DO IS COMPLAIN AND INSULT ME. 88 00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:45,529 IF YOU DON'’T WANT MY LOVE, 89 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,618 THEN I'’LL JUST KEEP THE LUNCH I MADE YOU. 90 00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:49,229 - NITRATES AND NICOTINE? 91 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,100 - CIGS ARE APPETITE SUPPRESSANTS, 92 00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,928 AND THAT MEAT IS PURE PROTEIN. 93 00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:55,235 PERSONALLY, I DON'’T FIND IT ALL THAT APPETIZING, 94 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,976 BUT THEN AGAIN, I'’M NOT THE ONE WITH THE SLOW METABOLISM. 95 00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,936 - SLUT. - BITCH. 96 00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:04,244 HAVE A GOOD DAY, SWEETIE! 97 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,941 - AFTER MY CLOSE CALL WITH THE LAW, 98 00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,290 ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH TAMARA AND MING 99 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,944 SEEMED LIKE PETTY MISDEMEANORS. 100 00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:11,294 AND EVEN THOUGH I WANTED AN APOLOGY, 101 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:15,603 MY BIGGER NEED WAS TO SHARE MY NIGHTMARE WITH WEED... 102 00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,344 AND FIND OUT WHO THE HELL WAS SO 103 00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:19,302 UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH MATTY. 104 00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:24,046 IS MATTY DATING SOMEONE NEW? 105 00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,874 - YOU DON'’T GET TO ASK WHO MATTY IS DATING. 106 00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,006 - BUT HER NAME IS DEVON. ARE YOU "DEVON-STATED"? 107 00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,965 - NO. MATTY CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS. 108 00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:32,010 - BUT YOU CAN'’T! 109 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,535 WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW WITH THIS "NONCHALANT-ITUDE"? 110 00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,363 YOU'’RE NOT WELCOME IN OUR WALK AND TALK. 111 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,060 - LOOKIT, I ALMOST GOT ARRESTED IN COLLINS'’S CAR LAST NIGHT, 112 00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:40,018 SO JUST GIVE ME A BREAK. 113 00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:41,846 - WHILE YOUR PARK'’N'’NARC SOUNDS REALLY INTERESTING, 114 00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:44,109 AND SO FITTING WITH YOUR NEW PERSONALITY-- 115 00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:46,764 - WE DON'’T WANT TO HEAR IT. - IN FACT, WE DON'’T WANT TO HEAR 116 00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,070 ANYTHING BUT A BIG, FAT, "I'’M SORRY." 117 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,767 BECAUSE IF YOU THINK WE'’RE GONNA FORGET 118 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,640 YOUR CRAZY-ASS AGRO-YEXTING, YOU'’RE WRONG. 119 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,294 - NOBODY LIKES A YELL TEXT. 120 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,686 - I DID NOT YELL TEXT. 121 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,645 - THEN EXPLAIN THIS. 122 00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:58,820 "DISLOYAL." 123 00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,082 - EXCLAMATION. - "UNSUPPORTIVE." 124 00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:01,170 - EXCLAMATION. 125 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,693 - "DISLOYAL" AGAIN. 126 00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:04,695 - EXCLAMATION. - OH, AND "TRAITOR," 127 00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:07,872 SPELLED "T-R-8-E-R." 128 00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:09,265 - '’CAUSE YOU WERE ANGRY, AND IN A HURRY. 129 00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:12,486 - OKAY, SO MAYBE I WAS YEXTING, BUT I WAS FEELING A LITTLE-- 130 00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:14,183 both: BETRAYED! - EXCLAMATION. 131 00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,533 - DID YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE OUR NO-SHOW 132 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,318 HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH COLLIN, 133 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,059 AND MAYBE WE HAD A GOOD REASON FOR NOT COMING TO YOUR BARBECUE? 134 00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:22,539 AND WE WERE GOING TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU, 135 00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:23,932 BUT YOU DIDN'’T GIVE US A CHANCE 136 00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:25,673 BEFORE YOUR "PISS-APPOINTED" TIRADE BEGAN? 137 00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:28,545 - TAMARA AND JAKE ALMOST BROKE UP OVER YOUR DANGEROUS LIAISON. 138 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:31,548 - EXCLAMATION! JAKE WAS FURIOUS 139 00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:32,984 I DIDN'’T TELL HIM YOU WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR. 140 00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:35,073 YOU KNOW WHY I DIDN'’T TELL HIM? 141 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,336 '’CAUSE OF GIRL CODE, 142 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,946 WHICH CLEARLY MEANS NOTHING TO YOU. 143 00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:39,251 - WELL, LUCKILY FOR YOU, 144 00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:41,123 GIRL CODE DOESN'’T APPLY TO EX-FRIENDS. 145 00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:43,604 - GREAT! '’CAUSE IT WAS EXHAUSTING BEING YOUR FRIEND! 146 00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:45,388 - OH, AND YOU'’RE SUCH A DREAM? 147 00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,390 GOD, I AM SO GLAD I DON'’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR ENDLESS 148 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,566 AND HOPELESS QUEST TO BE POPULAR. 149 00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,002 WAY TO SET YOUR GOALS HIGH, "T." 150 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:55,180 - DON'’T "T" ME. YOU KNOW WHAT, JENNA? 151 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:58,227 TAKE CARE! 152 00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,707 - YOU TAKE CARE! 153 00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:03,406 - SO YOU GUYS ARE BACK ON GOOD TERMS. 154 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:06,104 HEY, LOOK, WHY DON'’T WE GET OUT OF DODGE AND TAKE THE EDGE OFF? 155 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,454 - YOU WANT TO DITCH? - OR SKIP. 156 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:09,020 IT'’S ALL JUST SEMANTICS. 157 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,761 - I REALLY DON'’T WANT TO PUSH MY LUCK TODAY. 158 00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,546 - SPREAD '’EM! 159 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:16,419 JENNA HAMILTON, YOU'’RE UNDER ARREST FOR SKIPPING SCHOOL. 160 00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:20,510 YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT. 161 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,120 - ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME? 162 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,949 - A LITTLE. YOU KNOW WHAT? 163 00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:27,517 MAYBE WE SHOULD PICK THIS UP AFTER SCHOOL. 164 00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,519 - ARE YOU AFRAID OF P.D.A.? 165 00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,826 - NO, I JUST... 166 00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,131 I JUST DON'’T THINK IT'’S APPROPRIATE FOR ME 167 00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,917 TO FRISK YOU HERE IN PUBLIC. 168 00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,658 - WHY? 169 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,921 - BECAUSE I LIKE TO DO A THOROUGH JOB. 170 00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:43,098 - COLLIN WAS ATTEMPTING TO DISTRACT ME FROM MY DRAMA, 171 00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:45,753 AND WITH THAT DISTRACTION, LUCKILY CAME SOME ACTION. 172 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,668 THE DAY COULD NOT END SOON ENOUGH. 173 00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:49,104 - IT'’S OVER. 174 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:51,498 I DON'’T HAVE ANY MORE DOCTOR'’S VISITS. 175 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,413 - BUT YOUR NECK IS CROOKED. 176 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,763 - IT'’S JUST A LITTLE KINK. IT'’LL STRAIGHTEN OUT. 177 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:58,243 I THINK. - UGH, GROSS. 178 00:06:58,243 --> 00:06:59,723 - DOES IT LOOK THAT BAD? 179 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:02,596 - NOT YOUR NECK. RENTAL PROPERTIES. 180 00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:03,945 I FEEL POOR. 181 00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:06,469 - YOU ARE POOR. 182 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,166 WHEN DOES YOUR MOM GET BACK FROM EXHAUSTION CAMP? 183 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,734 - TONIGHT, THANK GOD! I DON'’T KNOW WHAT'’S WORSE, 184 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,780 LIVING ON A BUDGET, OR WITH A BITCH! 185 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,259 - I'’D SAY THE BUDGET, 186 00:07:14,259 --> 00:07:17,741 '’CAUSE YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF EVERY DAY. 187 00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:19,569 - HEY. - JACQUES, I'’M SORRY. 188 00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:20,962 AND I KNOW YOU'’RE SORRY, 189 00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:22,398 AND I REALLY DON'’T WANT TO FIGHT ANYMORE. 190 00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:24,008 I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU JENNA WAS A RANKSKANK, 191 00:07:24,008 --> 00:07:25,836 BUT I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT GIRL CODE. 192 00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:28,491 I JUST CAN'’T TAKE FIGHTING WITH YOU AND HER AT THE SAME TIME, 193 00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,058 SO PLEASE LET'’S NOT FIGHT. 194 00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,799 - I DIDN'’T REALIZE WE WERE STILL FIGHTING. 195 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,413 - HEY. 196 00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:38,849 - HEY. HELLO, DEVON. 197 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:40,982 - HEY. - WHAT'’S GOING ON? 198 00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:42,244 - JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF MY ANGER TOWARDS JENNA, 199 00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,680 BUT THAT'’S NOT HAPPENING. 200 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,203 - IS THAT WHY SHE'’S SITTING BY HERSELF? 201 00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:47,858 - DON'’T FEEL BAD FOR HER. - OKAY. 202 00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,991 - DON'’T, MATTY. - BUT IT'’S JENNA. 203 00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,906 - "EXSQUEEZE" ME, THAT'’S NOT JENNA. 204 00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,603 THAT'’S THE GIRL THAT CHEATED ON YOU, 205 00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,213 NOT TO MENTION, THAT GIRL ALMOST GOT ARRESTED. 206 00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:56,911 - SHE GOT ARRESTED? 207 00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:58,347 - SHE ALMOST DID. SAME THING. 208 00:07:58,347 --> 00:08:00,784 - IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO HER, GO. 209 00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:02,133 - YOU SURE? - YOU STILL CARE ABOUT HER. 210 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:04,222 WHICH TOTALLY MAKES SENSE. 211 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,528 IF YOU DIDN'’T, YOU WOULDN'’T BE NEARLY AS CUTE. 212 00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:10,838 - [sighs] 213 00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:12,013 both: BIG MISTAKE. 214 00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:14,755 - I AM SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO. 215 00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:26,680 - HI. - HI. 216 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,464 - IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 217 00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:31,641 HEARD YOU GOT ARRESTED. 218 00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,034 - BITCHES. 219 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,470 - COME ON, THEY'’RE JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 220 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,385 AND SO AM I. THIS ISN'’T YOU. 221 00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:38,039 - NO, THIS IS ME. 222 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,170 THEY SHOULD MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS, 223 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,521 AND FRANKLY, SO SHOULD YOU. 224 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,697 SO GO BACK TO SLUMMING IT WITH YOUR REBOUND SKANK. 225 00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,400 - GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT, JENNA. 226 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,055 I WAS SLUMMING IT WITH YOU. 227 00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:59,147 - ♪ WITHIN YOUR BOWL OF WISDOM ♪ 228 00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:01,105 - MY LIFE AS I KNEW IT WAS OVER. 229 00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:03,586 SO THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING TO DO-- 230 00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,545 REMOVE MYSELF FROM THE SITUATION, 231 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,199 AND MY "JENN-EMIES." 232 00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:09,940 - ♪YOU THINK YOU HAVE A KINGDOM... ♪ 233 00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,638 - WHICH WAS EASIER SAID THAN DONE. 234 00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,168 - WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE? 235 00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:22,518 - ALLY HAD A FIGHT WITH DAN. - AGAIN? 236 00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:24,433 DID HE FINALLY REALIZE YOU'’RE DRAINING HIS BANK ACCOUNT? 237 00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:27,088 - NO, I'’M TRYING TO DRAIN HIM, FOR A BABY. 238 00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,264 - BUT HE WISELY DOESN'’T WANT ONE. 239 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,266 - GOD, IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO HAVE A BABY. 240 00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:33,094 - AND YOU, LITTLE BITCH, 241 00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:34,574 ARE THE BEST ARGUMENT FOR ABORTION. 242 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,185 - AGREED. - I'’M GOING TO MY ROOM. 243 00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:45,628 - WHAT'’S UP HER BUTT? - SHE'’S JUST...IN A MOOD. 244 00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,151 HON? 245 00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,632 WOULD YOU PUT YOUR HEADPHONES ON SO THE ADULTS CAN TALK? 246 00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:52,983 - ARE YOU TWO THE ADULTS? 247 00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:54,985 - AFTER GETTING RUBBED WRONG THROUGH THE DAY, 248 00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:57,858 I WAS FINALLY READY TO GET RUBBED RIGHT. 249 00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:10,740 - UGH, WISH THAT COP HADN'’T TAKEN MY STASH. 250 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,742 - SORRY. 251 00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,788 ACTUALLY, I THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE 252 00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:15,963 TO FIND SOMETHING TO HOLD YOU OVER. 253 00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,529 - REALLY? WHERE? 254 00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:19,967 - MY VAG! 255 00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:23,361 IT'’S A LEMON, LACE. AND FREAKIN'’ IRONIC. 256 00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:25,842 TO THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME I SPENT SWEATING GETTING PREGGO. 257 00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,365 - OH. - NOT TO MENTION ALL THE MONEY 258 00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:29,541 I SHELLED OUT ON PROPECIA WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS. 259 00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,282 [laughs] 260 00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:33,328 AND NOW THE DREAM IS DONE. 261 00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:35,722 - THAT IS NONSENSE. ADOPT. 262 00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,941 - ADOPTING DEFEATS THE POINT. 263 00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:40,422 I ONLY WANT A KID I CAN SCREW UP FROM THE START. 264 00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:42,250 - OH, THIS MAY BE A BLESSING, AL. 265 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:45,732 BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, THAT BABY WILL HOT BOX A CAR 266 00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,559 AND ALMOST GET ARRESTED. 267 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,083 - JENNA GOT ARRESTED? 268 00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:51,041 - [sputters] - SADIE. 269 00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:53,435 WHY DON'’T YOU GO HANG OUT WITH LITTLE BITCH? 270 00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,959 - BECAUSE SHE'’S A BAD INFLUENCE ON ME. 271 00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,134 I'’M APPALLED THAT YOU WOULD TELL ME 272 00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,267 TO GO HANG OUT WITH A DELINQUENT. 273 00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:01,443 KIND OF A POOR PARENTING DECISION, AL. 274 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:03,445 - THEN GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK IN MY ROOM. 275 00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:08,885 - I'’M GONNA SMOTHER HER WITH A PILLOW TONIGHT. 276 00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:19,200 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? 277 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,116 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? 278 00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,248 STEALING YOUR PARENTS'’ STOCKPILE. 279 00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,685 MUST BE A NEW LOW. 280 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,599 - MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 281 00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:30,646 - LOSER GIRL BECOMES A LOSER BURNOUT. 282 00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:32,909 YOU ARE SUCH A CLICHE. 283 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,389 - GIVE IT A REST. - WHY? 284 00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:35,999 DID I HIT A NERVE? 285 00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:38,001 - NOTHING YOU SAY COULD EVER GET UNDER MY SKIN. 286 00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,612 - GOOD! THEN I'’LL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS. 287 00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:43,964 COLLIN IS GONNA LEAVE YOU HIGH AND DRY, 288 00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,095 JUST LIKE YOU DID WITH MATTY, 289 00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:47,794 BECAUSE WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND, 290 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,665 AND KARMA'’S A BITCH. 291 00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,275 - IS THAT WHY YOU'’RE BROKE AND HOMELESS? 292 00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:59,240 - AM I SUPPOSED TO FORBID HER TO S--[sighs] 293 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,807 NEED SOMETHING? 294 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,634 - NO, I JUST DIDN'’T WANT TO GET IN JENNA'’S WAY. 295 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,071 SHE SEEMS REALLY BUSY. 296 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,507 - DOING WHAT? 297 00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:07,117 - SWIPING YOUR STASH. 298 00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:12,427 - SO NOW YOU'’RE STEALING? - IT'’S MORE LIKE BORROWING. 299 00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:13,994 BESIDES, MOM SAID IF I NEEDED TO SMOKE, 300 00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,909 I COULD SMOKE INSIDE THE HOUSE. 301 00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,171 - I DID SAY THAT. 302 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:19,173 [phone chirps] 303 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,261 - OH, I'’M SORRY. 304 00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:21,871 ARE WE INTERRUPTING SOMETHING? 305 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,830 - THAT'’S MY PHONE! - ACTUALLY, IT'’S MINE, 306 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,570 BECAUSE I BOUGHT IT AND I PAY THE BILLS. 307 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:28,835 COLLIN WAS OVER HERE TODAY? 308 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:29,966 - HE STOPPED BY AFTER SCHOOL. 309 00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,663 - THAT KID IS A BAD INFLUENCE. 310 00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:32,664 - YOU DON'’T EVEN KNOW HIM. 311 00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:33,927 - OH, I KNOW ENOUGH! 312 00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:35,885 I DON'’T WANT YOU SEEING HIM ANYMORE. 313 00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:37,234 - KEV, LET'’S NOT-- 314 00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,019 - GO TO YOUR ROOM. 315 00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,850 NOT YOU. 316 00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:48,637 IT'’S MINE. 317 00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:53,642 [sighs] 318 00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:56,601 - MY PARENTS'’ HYPOCRISY WAS AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH. 319 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,342 NO PUN INTENDED. 320 00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:00,518 MY TOP DRAWER SCORE HAD SENT MY DAD PACING. 321 00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:02,825 AND MY MOM, STRANGELY... [knock at door] 322 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,959 TO MY RESCUE. 323 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:08,483 - I THOUGHT YOUR DAD WAS BEING A LITTLE TOO HARSH. 324 00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:11,703 I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I KNOW YOU'’RE A GOOD KID, 325 00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:14,706 AND I TRUST YOU. - THANK YOU. 326 00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:15,795 - CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 327 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,100 - SURE. 328 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,276 - JUST LAY LOW ON THE COLLIN FRONT 329 00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:22,149 FOR A FEW DAYS, TILL THIS BLOWS OVER. 330 00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:24,673 CAN YOU DO THAT? - NOT A PROBLEM. 331 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:27,371 - OKAY. 332 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:34,770 [buttons clicking] 333 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:38,469 - HEY, CAN YOU PICK ME UP? 334 00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,341 PERFECT. 335 00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:41,908 AND DON'’T COME TO THE FRONT DOOR, 336 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,518 JUST TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HERE. 337 00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:52,614 - I JUST DON'’T UNDERSTAND, YOU KNOW? 338 00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:55,051 - MM-HMM. 339 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,226 - WHY DOESN'’T MY DAD TRUST ME? 340 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,488 FIRST MY FRIENDS, AND NOW MY DAD? 341 00:13:57,488 --> 00:14:00,143 ARE ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS CONDITIONAL NOW? 342 00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:03,712 - IT'’S NOT FAIR. - [sighs] 343 00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,496 PEOPLE BREAK UP, BUT YOUR FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO STAY 344 00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:06,889 ON YOUR SIDE, NOT START HANGING OUT 345 00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,499 WITH YOUR EX'’S NEW SOCCER SLUT. 346 00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:10,893 DID I TELL YOU THAT DEVON PLAYS SOCCER TOO? 347 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:11,981 HE WAS PROBABLY FLIRTING WITH HER 348 00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,287 WHILE WE WERE STILL TOGETHER. 349 00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:15,245 THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE MOVED ON SO FAST. 350 00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:17,073 - HEY, THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME 351 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:19,119 YOU'’VE BROUGHT UP MATTY AND YOUR FRIENDS. 352 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,511 YOU'’RE STARTING TO FIXATE. 353 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:23,123 - I'’M--I'’M NOT FIXATING. - TALK TO THEM. 354 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:26,387 OR DON'’T TALK TO THEM, BUT... 355 00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:28,345 MAYBE YOU SHOULD QUIT TALKING ABOUT IT. 356 00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:30,130 - I'’M NEVER TALKING TO THEM AGAIN. 357 00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:32,654 - SO LET IT GO. 358 00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:35,004 HEY... 359 00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:39,487 HOW ABOUT WE TAKE YOUR MIND OFF OF THIS? 360 00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:47,756 - THEY JUST DON'’T UNDERSTAND. 361 00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,628 - MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE YOU HOME SO YOU CAN DEAL WITH THIS. 362 00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:53,544 - NO. NO, NO, NO. I'’M SORRY. 363 00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:55,372 I'’LL SHUT UP NOW. 364 00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:57,940 - MOM, YOU LOOK GREAT! - I'’M ECSTATIC. 365 00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,681 - BECAUSE YOU FINALLY GOT SOME REST? 366 00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,378 - OH, HARDLY. 367 00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:03,903 - BUT WASN'’T THAT THE POINT OF EXHAUSTION CAMP? 368 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,295 - OH, IT WAS A SPA, HONEY. 369 00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,471 AND I WAS ONLY THERE FOR A WEEK THIS TIME. 370 00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:10,039 - BUT YOU'’VE BEEN GONE FOR ALMOST A MONTH. 371 00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,562 - YEAH, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? 372 00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:14,783 - SANTA FE. - WHAT THE HELL IS IN SANTA FE? 373 00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:17,438 - MY BOYFRIEND. - SO FOR WEEKS, 374 00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:18,395 I'’VE BEEN LEFT ALONE WHILE YOU'’VE BEEN 375 00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,180 SHACKING UP WITH SOME HIPPY? 376 00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,746 - YOU WEREN'’T LEFT ALONE. 377 00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:25,402 YOU HAD CONSUELA, AND UNCLE DAN, AND...ABBY. 378 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:28,144 - ALLY. - AND FRANCOIS IS NOT A HIPPY. 379 00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:29,711 HE'’S A HEALER. 380 00:15:29,711 --> 00:15:32,366 - WELL, HE'’S NOT LIVING WITH US. - THAT'’S RIGHT, 381 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:36,152 BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO BE LIVING WITH HIM IN SANTA FE. 382 00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:39,851 - OVER MY DEAD BODY. NO WAY! 383 00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:42,202 - ARE YOU REALLY GONNA MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU? 384 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,944 AGAIN? CUT ME SOME SLACK. 385 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,511 [sighs] I'’M THE ONE WHO'’S LOST EVERYTHING. 386 00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:48,860 - OH, AND I LOST NOTHING? 387 00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:49,992 - ACTUALLY, YOU LOST THREE POUNDS 388 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:51,341 FROM THE LUNCHES I MADE YOU. 389 00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:52,821 - I THOUGHT WHEN YOU GOT BACK 390 00:15:52,821 --> 00:15:55,258 WE COULD SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER. 391 00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,130 - OF COURSE. 392 00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:59,697 IT'’S JUST GONNA BE THE TWO OF US... 393 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:00,960 ON THE PLANE. 394 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,614 NOW GO GET YOUR THINGS. 395 00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:05,094 - I THINK I'’D RATHER STAY HERE TONIGHT. 396 00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:06,400 - SADIE. - IT'’S OKAY. 397 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,532 I CAN TAKE HER TO SCHOOL. 398 00:16:08,532 --> 00:16:10,839 - FINE. 399 00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:13,320 SADIE, I WILL MEET YOU AT SCHOOL TOMORROW, 400 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:17,237 AND WE CAN SIGN THE TRANSFER PAPERS. 401 00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:20,240 - [bleep] ME. 402 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:33,470 - ARE YOU STILL THINKING ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS? 403 00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:35,951 - NO. AND I WASN'’T. 404 00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:38,649 I HAD FINALLY LEFT MY HEAD AND WAS STARTING TO PROCESS 405 00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,260 HOW FAR WE'’D GOTTEN IN COLLIN'’S BED. 406 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:42,131 - HEY, WE DON'’T HAVE TO DO THIS. 407 00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:45,613 - I DIDN'’T KNOW IF I WAS READY TO ADD ANOTHER NOTCH TO MY BELT, 408 00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:47,745 OR IF I EVEN WANTED TO. 409 00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:49,617 - YOU DON'’T WANT TO, 410 00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:52,011 AND I DON'’T WANT TO UNLESS YOU DO. 411 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,403 SO IT'’S COOL. 412 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:54,926 - BUT IT WASN'’T COOL, 413 00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,754 AND I DIDN'’T WANT TO LOSE COLLIN. 414 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:59,235 I COULDN'’T LOSE COLLIN. 415 00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:02,630 SO I HAD TO DO WHAT I HAD TO DO TO KEEP HIM. 416 00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:04,545 HEY. 417 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:11,421 DO YOU HAVE A CONDOM? 418 00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:13,641 - ARE YOU SURE? - YEAH, I'’M SURE. 419 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:32,268 I HAD JUST HAD MY FIRST AFTER MY FIRST, 420 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,227 AND I NEEDED TO ADDRESS THE UNDRESSING. 421 00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,103 I REALLY NEED TO TALK. 422 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:48,676 - I AM DONE TALKING. 423 00:17:48,676 --> 00:17:49,546 - MOM, PLEASE, JUST LET ME SAY SOMETHING-- 424 00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:51,331 - NO, STOP. YOU NEED TO LISTEN. 425 00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:55,204 I DEFENDED YOU. I TRUSTED YOU. 426 00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:57,467 AND YOU BROKE THAT TRUST. 427 00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,208 - I KNOW, BUT I CAN EXPLAIN. 428 00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:01,384 - EXPLAIN IT TO YOUR DAD WHEN YOU WAKE HIM UP 429 00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:04,909 AND YOU TELL HIM THAT YOU SNUCK OUT! 430 00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:08,130 JENNA, GO. NOW! 431 00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:15,006 - HONESTLY, I'’M SHOCKED... 432 00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:17,270 AND THRILLED YOU'’RE TRANSFERRING! 433 00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:21,012 WE ARE REALLY GONNA MISS YOU. 434 00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:23,841 - I WANT TO EMANCIPATE. 435 00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:26,496 - SORRY TO INTERRUPT. SADIE, YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH 436 00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:28,846 AND YOUR ANXIETY MEDS. - KEEP IT. 437 00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:31,022 - EMANCIPATING ISN'’T ACTUALLY AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS. 438 00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:33,155 YOU CAN'’T JUST MAKE A PROCLAMATION. 439 00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:34,678 YOU STILL NEED SOMEWHERE TO STAY. 440 00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:35,810 - I'’LL STAY AT LISSA'’S. 441 00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,681 - SORRY, ALMOST OUT OF HERE, 442 00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,074 BUT I NEED CLARITY-- 443 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,598 DO YOU WANT ME TO KEEP YOUR LUNCH OR YOUR MEDS? 444 00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:43,774 - BOTH. 445 00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,863 - YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GUARDIAN OVER 18, 446 00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,778 AND YOU CAN'’T JUST HAVE ANY GUARDIAN. 447 00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:48,779 I MEAN, IF WE'’RE GONNA DO THIS RIGHT, 448 00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:51,130 YOU'’LL NEED SOMEONE SUPERFICIAL, 449 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:55,395 BRUTALLY HONEST, BITCHY, WEALTHY, FEARLESS-- 450 00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:57,484 - WAIT A SECOND. THAT'’S ME. 451 00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:00,704 THAT'’S EXACTLY HOW I DESCRIBE MYSELF ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE. 452 00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:03,620 - DO YOU WANT HER? 453 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,492 - OH, I DON'’T KNOW. 454 00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:11,846 MAYBE. 455 00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:13,804 YES! [laughs] 456 00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,066 YOU SEE, I'’VE BEEN TRYING TO HAVE A BABY... 457 00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,329 - OH. - GOD, NO. 458 00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:18,287 - BUT BABIES ARE A LOT OF WORK, 459 00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:21,638 AND SADIE CAN WIPE HER OWN ASS. 460 00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:25,555 - GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE... 461 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,340 SOLD! SADIE IS YOUR NEW BABY. 462 00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,607 - WELL, THIS SEEMS LIKE A FINE IDEA. 463 00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:35,652 CALL ME WHEN YOU GET SETTLED. 464 00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,393 - I'’M SETTLED. 465 00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:40,831 - WELL, THEN, UM-- [chuckles] 466 00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:43,486 YOU LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU NEED. 467 00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,967 - I TRIED. 468 00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:48,230 - WHAT? 469 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,972 - NOTHING. 470 00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:54,018 - ♪ NEVER WEAR IT OUT 471 00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:56,499 ♪ NEVER SHAKE IT OFF 472 00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:58,545 - IF I THOUGHT ALMOST BEING ARRESTED 473 00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:01,374 WAS THE LOWLIGHT OF MY WEEK, I WAS WRONG, 474 00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:04,507 BECAUSE MY REALITY FELT LIKE SOLITARY CONFINEMENT. 475 00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,901 AND THE ONLY WAY TO BREAK OUT OF MY PRISON 476 00:20:06,901 --> 00:20:09,643 WAS TO DO THE ONE THING I DIDN'’T WANT TO DO-- 477 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:14,300 - HEAD'’S UP. - APOLOGIZE. 478 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:17,825 UNFORTUNATELY, THEY WEREN'’T EXACTLY AIDING OR ABETTING. 479 00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:23,657 HEY, LET'’S JUST GET OUT OF HERE. 480 00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:26,355 - ARE YOU SURE? - YES. 481 00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:28,836 I JUST NEED TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF. 482 00:20:28,836 --> 00:20:32,361 - ♪ IN THE DARKNESS 483 00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:36,931 ♪ MAYBE I WON'’T EVEN GO TO WORK THAT DAY ♪ 484 00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:41,414 ♪ I DON'’T CARE IF I'’M IN TROUBLE AT ALL ♪ 485 00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:47,898 - NEXT, ON AWKWARD... - I TRIED TO STAY OUT OF IT, 486 00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:48,986 BUT I CAN'’T JUST SIT BACK AND WATCH JENNA DRIFT 487 00:20:48,986 --> 00:20:50,553 INTO AMANDA BYNES-VILLE. 488 00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:51,598 - SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 489 00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,556 - MY AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL VIDEO. 490 00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:58,082 - AN UBER-TRAGIC TALE ABOUT A LOSER GIRL WHO WANTS TO DIE, 491 00:20:58,082 --> 00:21:01,695 CALLED WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT JENNY? 492 00:21:01,695 --> 00:21:03,436 - YOU'’VE GOT TO BE [bleep] KIDDING ME. 36379

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