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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,206 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,206 --> 00:00:04,413 - YOU CAN'’T LEAVE WITH THE HORSESHOE 3 00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:06,758 UNLESS YOU PONY UP... YOUR PHONE NUMBER. 4 00:00:06,758 --> 00:00:08,655 - YOU SAID YOU WERE NEVER EMBARRASSED OF ME. 5 00:00:08,655 --> 00:00:10,482 - I LIED. - I GOT YOU THIS. 6 00:00:10,482 --> 00:00:11,551 all: SURPRISE! 7 00:00:13,655 --> 00:00:15,517 - ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME? - I AM SO, SO SORRY, MATTY. 8 00:00:15,517 --> 00:00:16,586 I'’M SO SORRY. 9 00:00:20,482 --> 00:00:22,172 - IT HAD BEEN THREE WEEKS SINCE MATTY AND I HAD BROKEN UP. 10 00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:24,758 THREE WEEKS IN WHICH I'’D CRIED MY EYES OUT, 11 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:27,413 BEATEN MYSELF UP, AND EATEN MY WEIGHT IN EGG NOG FRO YO. 12 00:00:27,413 --> 00:00:29,413 IF THE MOURNING PERIOD FOR AN EX 13 00:00:29,413 --> 00:00:31,379 WAS HALF THE LENGTH OF THE RELATIONSHIP, 14 00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:34,758 TECHNICALLY, I WAS STILL GETTING OVER MATTY. 15 00:00:34,758 --> 00:00:37,655 IN REALITY, I HAD MOVED ON, 16 00:00:37,655 --> 00:00:40,896 AND WAS SURPRISINGLY READY TO TRY SOMETHING NEW. 17 00:00:40,896 --> 00:00:44,000 IN FACT, I WAS TRYING A LOT OF NEW THINGS. 18 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,137 MAYBE IT WAS THE PROMISE OF THE NEW YEAR, 19 00:00:46,137 --> 00:00:48,000 OR RESIDUAL HOLIDAY SPIRIT, 20 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,172 BUT I FELT HOPEFUL ABOUT THE TRANSITION. 21 00:00:50,172 --> 00:00:53,241 SURE, MY FRIENDS WERE GOING TO ACCEPT THE CHANGE IN ME, 22 00:00:53,241 --> 00:00:56,103 AND MY RELATIONSHIP. THERE WOULD BE NO TAKING SIDES 23 00:00:56,103 --> 00:00:58,344 OR FORCING PEOPLE TO CHOOSE A TEAM-- 24 00:00:58,344 --> 00:01:03,103 EVEN THOUGH I HAD--AND I WAS DEFINITELY ON TEAM COLLIN. 25 00:01:03,103 --> 00:01:04,827 - I'’M TELLING YOU, SHE'’S ON TEAM MATTY. 26 00:01:04,827 --> 00:01:08,620 - SADIE IS NOT INTO MATTY. SHE'’S JUST USING HIM FOR RIDES. 27 00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:10,137 SINCE SHE'’S BEEN CAR-MAXED OUT, 28 00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,241 "SUCKS-TON" HAS BEEN MAKING HIM DRIVE HER TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY. 29 00:01:12,241 --> 00:01:14,482 - I DON'’T FEEL COMFORTABLE GOSSIPING ABOUT MATTY, OKAY? 30 00:01:14,482 --> 00:01:17,000 - TECHNICALLY, WE'’RE GOSSIPING, YOU'’RE ACCESSORIZING. 31 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,034 - WHEN DID YOU START ACCESSORIZING? 32 00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:21,103 AND WEARING SKINNY JEANS? 33 00:01:21,103 --> 00:01:22,379 AND WHEN DID YOU CHANGE UP YOUR ROOM? 34 00:01:22,379 --> 00:01:23,448 IT'’S DIFFERENT. 35 00:01:23,448 --> 00:01:25,172 - SOMETIMES DIFFERENT IS GOOD. 36 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,827 I JUST FELT LIKE IT WAS TIME TO GROW UP. 37 00:01:27,827 --> 00:01:30,068 - OKAY, MS. 401K. 38 00:01:30,068 --> 00:01:32,965 FAR BE IT FROM US TO KEEP YOU FROM YOUR NIGHT AT THE OPERA. 39 00:01:32,965 --> 00:01:34,206 - COLLIN AND I ARE GOING SHOPPING 40 00:01:34,206 --> 00:01:35,448 AT THE SCHOOL CONSIGNMENT STORE. 41 00:01:35,448 --> 00:01:37,172 YOU WANT TO COME? 42 00:01:37,172 --> 00:01:40,689 - IT'’S NOT THAT WE DON'’T WANT TO HANG WITH YOU AND COLLIN, 43 00:01:40,689 --> 00:01:41,862 IT'’S JUST... - WEIRD! 44 00:01:41,862 --> 00:01:43,448 - IT DOESN'’T HAVE TO BE. 45 00:01:43,448 --> 00:01:44,862 I JUST WANT TO GET BACK TO NORMAL. 46 00:01:44,862 --> 00:01:47,448 - SO DO WE, BUT OUR NORMAL IS JENNA AND MATTY. 47 00:01:47,448 --> 00:01:48,655 - WELL, THERE'’S A NEW NORMAL. 48 00:01:48,655 --> 00:01:49,931 AND I'’M SURE IF YOU GET TO KNOW COLLIN, 49 00:01:49,931 --> 00:01:51,517 YOU'’LL LIKE HIM AS MUCH AS I DO. 50 00:01:51,517 --> 00:01:54,586 - WE'’LL HANG NEXT TIME. PROMISE. 51 00:01:55,931 --> 00:01:57,827 [doorbell rings] 52 00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:59,103 - UH, CAN YOU GUYS GET THAT? 53 00:01:59,103 --> 00:02:01,758 AND BE NICE. - I PUNCHED THE GUY ONE TIME 54 00:02:01,758 --> 00:02:03,896 AND YOU CHRIS BROWN-IFY ME. 55 00:02:11,517 --> 00:02:13,172 - YOU DON'’T HAVE TO STAND OUT THERE. 56 00:02:13,172 --> 00:02:16,551 EVERYONE IN HERE IS DECENT. IT LOOKS LIKE I'’M AU NATUREL, 57 00:02:16,551 --> 00:02:18,206 BUT I SWEAR, I'’M WEARING A SPORTS BRA. 58 00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:20,448 - MOM, DON'’T SAY THAT IN FRONT OF-- 59 00:02:22,931 --> 00:02:26,827 [keys tapping] 60 00:02:26,827 --> 00:02:29,310 HI. 61 00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:35,758 - I WAS HOPING WE COULD TALK. 62 00:02:35,758 --> 00:02:38,034 - I THINK YOU GIRLS SHOULD LEAVE, AND RUN 63 00:02:38,034 --> 00:02:41,862 INTERFERENCE, SINCE OLIN-SNAY IS ON HIS WAY OVER, OKAY? 64 00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:44,896 - THAT'’S NOT HOW YOU SAY IT, BUT I CAN ANSLATE-TRAY. 65 00:02:44,896 --> 00:02:48,551 WE'’RE ON IT. 66 00:02:48,551 --> 00:02:49,827 - COME IN! 67 00:02:49,827 --> 00:02:51,758 HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? WHAT'’S GOING ON? 68 00:02:51,758 --> 00:02:53,931 - MOM? - HMM? 69 00:02:53,931 --> 00:02:55,413 OH, YOU WANT PRIVACY. 70 00:02:55,413 --> 00:02:58,482 DO YOU WANT PRIVACY? - MOM. 71 00:03:02,137 --> 00:03:04,551 THIS IS REALLY WEIRD. 72 00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:11,275 - YEAH. AND THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER. 73 00:03:13,103 --> 00:03:15,344 - MATTY-- - LISTEN, JENNA-- 74 00:03:15,344 --> 00:03:16,793 - NO, YOU TALK FIRST, SINCE YOU'’RE THE ONE 75 00:03:16,793 --> 00:03:19,965 WHO CAME OVER TO DO IT. I MEAN... 76 00:03:19,965 --> 00:03:21,896 TALK. 77 00:03:23,931 --> 00:03:25,379 - JENNA, I DON'’T WANT YOU TO THINK THAT I HATE YOU. 78 00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:26,689 - I DON'’T. 79 00:03:26,689 --> 00:03:27,689 AND I DON'’T WANT YOU TO THINK THAT EITHER. 80 00:03:27,689 --> 00:03:29,482 - I DON'’T. 81 00:03:29,482 --> 00:03:30,758 - I'’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT US, 82 00:03:30,758 --> 00:03:32,965 AND IT DOESN'’T HAVE TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE. 83 00:03:32,965 --> 00:03:35,241 - THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING, 84 00:03:35,241 --> 00:03:37,137 AND THAT'’S WHY I THINK WE SHOULD... 85 00:03:37,137 --> 00:03:39,000 - JUST FORGET ABOUT IT. - GET BACK TOGETHER. 86 00:03:41,034 --> 00:03:42,241 I STILL LOVE YOU, JENNA. 87 00:03:42,241 --> 00:03:43,896 - MATTY-- - I JUST DON'’T UNDERSTAND 88 00:03:43,896 --> 00:03:45,586 HOW WE COULD BE THE WAY WE WERE 89 00:03:45,586 --> 00:03:46,965 AND THEN JUST, WHAT, SHUT IT ALL OFF? 90 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,758 - I DIDN'’T. - SO WHY NOT START OVER? 91 00:03:48,758 --> 00:03:50,344 - I CAN'’T. - IF I CAN, YOU CAN. 92 00:03:50,344 --> 00:03:51,965 - I CAN'’T. - WHY NOT? 93 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,034 - BECAUSE I DON'’T WANT TO. 94 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,344 I JUST NEED A BREAK. 95 00:03:55,344 --> 00:03:56,724 - I THOUGHT WE WERE ALREADY ON A BREAK? 96 00:03:56,724 --> 00:03:58,448 - NO, WE'’RE BROKEN UP. 97 00:03:58,448 --> 00:03:59,896 WE JUST NEED A BREAK FROM EACH OTHER 98 00:03:59,896 --> 00:04:02,034 SO THAT WE CAN START NEW CHAPTERS IN OUR LIVES, 99 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,206 AND EVENTUALLY BE FRIENDS AGAIN. 100 00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:10,275 - OKAY. 101 00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:12,620 YEAH, SURE. 102 00:04:17,068 --> 00:04:20,620 - MATTY, I REALLY DON'’T WANT THIS TO BE WEIRD BETWEEN US... 103 00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:23,068 OR OUR FRIENDS. 104 00:04:23,068 --> 00:04:24,862 - IT WON'’T BE. 105 00:04:24,862 --> 00:04:28,379 [door opens, closes] - WHEW. 106 00:04:28,379 --> 00:04:31,413 SO HOW LONG DO YOU THINK THIS BREAK IS GONNA LAST? 107 00:04:31,413 --> 00:04:33,482 I'’M ONLY ASKING BECAUSE WE HAVE TICKETS 108 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:34,758 TO THE NEXT CLIPPERS GAME, 109 00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:36,965 AND YOUR DAD NEEDS SOMEONE TO DO HIGH-IMPACT 110 00:04:36,965 --> 00:04:38,620 HIGH FIVES WITH. 111 00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,413 - IF HE NEEDS SOMEONE THERE, WHY DOESN'’T HE INVITE COLLIN? 112 00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:44,206 - SWEETIE, WITH EVERYTHING THAT'’S HAPPENED WITH MATTY? 113 00:04:44,206 --> 00:04:45,724 WELL, IT JUST WOULDN'’T BE RIGHT. 114 00:04:45,724 --> 00:04:48,758 BESIDES, WE DON'’T EVEN KNOW COLLIN. 115 00:04:48,758 --> 00:04:50,137 - THAT WAS THE PROBLEM. 116 00:04:50,137 --> 00:04:52,310 NO ONE IN MY LIFE KNEW COLLIN. 117 00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:55,068 HE WAS JUST THAT JERK WHO DESTROYED MY RELATIONSHIP, 118 00:04:55,068 --> 00:04:57,413 AND THE UNFORTUNATE VICTIM OF SOME BAD PRESS. 119 00:04:57,413 --> 00:04:59,172 IT WAS TIME TO CALL A PRESS CONFERENCE. 120 00:04:59,172 --> 00:05:01,862 [bell rings] - YOU WENT TO HAMILTON'’S HOUSE? 121 00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:04,206 YOU ARE SUCH A DUMBASS. - I KNOW I'’M A DUMBASS. 122 00:05:04,206 --> 00:05:06,241 - I DELETED HER NUMBER, VMs, TEXTS, 123 00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:08,000 AND SKANKY PICS FROM YOUR PHONE. 124 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,793 AND YES, I SAW THE ONE OF HER IN HER TRAINING BRA. 125 00:05:10,793 --> 00:05:12,379 IF ONLY I COULD DELETE THAT FROM MY MEMORY. 126 00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:13,586 - ME TOO. 127 00:05:13,586 --> 00:05:15,379 - PUT AWAY YOUR CRY FACE, MCKIBBEN. 128 00:05:15,379 --> 00:05:16,551 YOU THINK JENNA CHEATING ON YOU 129 00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:19,000 ISN'’T A BIG WHORE DEAL, BUT IT IS. 130 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,793 YOU SHOULD HATE HER FOR WHAT SHE DID. 131 00:05:20,793 --> 00:05:22,482 - YOU DON'’T HAVE TO HATE HER BECAUSE OF ME. 132 00:05:22,482 --> 00:05:24,034 JENNA DOESN'’T WANT EVERYBODY TAKING SIDES. 133 00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:25,724 - WHAT KIND OF [bleep]-UP, 134 00:05:25,724 --> 00:05:27,482 APOCALYPTIC WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN 135 00:05:27,482 --> 00:05:30,448 WHERE JENNA HAMILTON GETS TO CALL THE SHOTS? 136 00:05:30,448 --> 00:05:32,827 [phone chirps] 137 00:05:32,827 --> 00:05:34,931 DEVON IS TEXTING YOU? 138 00:05:34,931 --> 00:05:38,103 AND YOU'’RE TEXTING HER, A LOT! 139 00:05:38,103 --> 00:05:39,862 I LOVE DEVON. 140 00:05:39,862 --> 00:05:42,068 WHY AM I CONSOLING YOU WHEN YOU ARE CLEARLY MOVING ON? 141 00:05:42,068 --> 00:05:44,206 - WELL, I'’M TAKING IT SLOW. - WHICH MAY BE A PROBLEM, 142 00:05:44,206 --> 00:05:46,862 BECAUSE SLOW IS NOT DEVON'’S SPEED. 143 00:05:46,862 --> 00:05:49,482 - OKAY, SO MAYBE I'’LL HAVE TO SPEED UP MY PROCESS. 144 00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:51,827 [phone whirs] 145 00:05:51,827 --> 00:05:53,034 - IT'’S FROM ME. 146 00:05:53,034 --> 00:05:54,448 IT SAYS I'’M WALKING TOWARDS YOU, 147 00:05:54,448 --> 00:05:57,517 AND WE'’LL BE SAYING "HI" IN ABOUT FOUR SECONDS. 148 00:05:57,517 --> 00:05:58,931 HI. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 149 00:05:58,931 --> 00:06:01,310 - YOU INVITED ME TO LUNCH. - WHEN? 150 00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:02,931 - AT THE FROZEN YOGURT PLACE. 151 00:06:02,931 --> 00:06:05,172 - WE DIDN'’T EVEN SPEAK. 152 00:06:05,172 --> 00:06:09,000 - WE DID, TELEPATHICALLY. OTHERWISE, WHY WOULD I BE HERE? 153 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,482 - BECAUSE YOU'’RE A FREAK OF NATURE. 154 00:06:11,482 --> 00:06:13,344 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? [phone camera clicks] 155 00:06:13,344 --> 00:06:14,793 - IT'’LL BE EASIER FOR YOU TO REMEMBER 156 00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:16,137 MY FACE IF YOU'’RE LOOKING AT A COPY OF ME 157 00:06:16,137 --> 00:06:17,310 INSTEAD OF THE REAL ME. 158 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,448 - YET I PREFER TO FORGET YOU BOTH. 159 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,482 - I'’LL HOLD A TABLE IN THE CENTER OF THE QUAD FOR US. 160 00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:23,965 BRING SUNSCREEN. 161 00:06:23,965 --> 00:06:26,827 IT'’S BEEN PROVEN TO DELAY THE EFFECTS OF MELANOMA. 162 00:06:26,827 --> 00:06:29,482 - A BARBECUE IS THE PERFECT WAY TO EASE THE WEIRDNESS. 163 00:06:29,482 --> 00:06:31,241 YOU KNOW, MAKE THE TRANSITION EASIER? 164 00:06:31,241 --> 00:06:32,413 - WHO'’S COMING? - EVERYBODY. 165 00:06:32,413 --> 00:06:35,344 YOU, ME, JAKE, FRED, MING, COLLIN. 166 00:06:35,344 --> 00:06:38,310 - SO EVERYBODY EXCEPT MATTY. - TRUST ME, 167 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:39,965 MATTY WOULDN'’T WANT OUR BREAKUP 168 00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:41,896 TO PUT A DAMPER ON THE GROUP ANY MORE THAN I DO. 169 00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:45,103 - LOOK, I KNOW YOU WANT THIS TO BE ALL EASY, BREEZY, B.C.G., 170 00:06:45,103 --> 00:06:48,172 BUT, LIKE THIS SLOPPY JOE, BREAKUPS ARE MESSY. 171 00:06:48,172 --> 00:06:50,620 - THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME, AND YOU PROMISED. 172 00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:51,896 - [sighs] 173 00:06:51,896 --> 00:06:54,310 I'’LL BRING THE PLASTIC ICE CUBES. 174 00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:55,862 - MIND IF I JOIN YOU GUYS? 175 00:06:55,862 --> 00:06:57,965 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW NIGHT? 176 00:06:57,965 --> 00:06:59,344 - WHATEVER YOU WANT ME TO. 177 00:06:59,344 --> 00:07:01,172 - THEN, YOU'’RE COMING TO A PARTY AT MY HOUSE. 178 00:07:01,172 --> 00:07:02,586 JUST A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE. 179 00:07:02,586 --> 00:07:04,586 TAMARA WILL BE THERE. - WHAT'’S UP, IRON FIST? 180 00:07:04,586 --> 00:07:06,586 - [chuckles] OH! 181 00:07:06,586 --> 00:07:09,724 THIS TABLE IS TOO SMALL FOR ALL OF US. 182 00:07:09,724 --> 00:07:12,793 JAKE, MATTY, SIT WITH ME ON THE GRASS. 183 00:07:12,793 --> 00:07:15,586 MING, FRED, YOU STAY HERE SINCE YOU'’RE ALLERGIC TO DEW. 184 00:07:16,896 --> 00:07:18,034 - WHERE DID YOU MEET HIM? 185 00:07:18,034 --> 00:07:20,448 - AT THAT DUMB THADWICK HALLOWEEN PARTY. 186 00:07:20,448 --> 00:07:22,068 HE'’S SOME BITCH'’S BOO RADLEY BROTHER. 187 00:07:22,068 --> 00:07:23,862 - HE DOESN'’T LOOK LIKE A PSYCHO. 188 00:07:23,862 --> 00:07:26,068 HE'’S REALLY CUTE. - TOO BAD HE'’S TOUCHED. 189 00:07:26,068 --> 00:07:28,620 - [gasps] BY AN ANGEL? - IN THE HEAD, DIPHOLE. 190 00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:30,793 - SO YOU DON'’T LIKE-LIKE HIM. 191 00:07:30,793 --> 00:07:33,034 - IT'’S KIND OF HARD FOR ME TO GET IT UP FOR A GUY WHO 192 00:07:33,034 --> 00:07:36,241 PROBABLY HAS DEAD HAMSTERS IN HIS FREEZER. 193 00:07:36,241 --> 00:07:38,379 - SO IF YOU'’RE OUT, THEN HE'’S AVAILABLE, 194 00:07:38,379 --> 00:07:40,000 LIKE, FOR ME. 195 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,896 - YOU WANT TO DATE AUSTIN? - BUT NO SEX. 196 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,241 I'’M RE-VIRGINIZING FOR JESUS. 197 00:07:43,241 --> 00:07:44,862 THEY SAY IF YOU PRAY HARD ENOUGH, 198 00:07:44,862 --> 00:07:46,896 IT CAN GROW BACK. I HOPE IT'’S NOT PAINFUL. 199 00:07:46,896 --> 00:07:49,275 HOW DO I LOOK? 200 00:07:49,275 --> 00:07:51,758 - LIKE A FANCY POPSICLE. - [squeals] 201 00:07:55,689 --> 00:07:56,931 - THAT'’S YOUR LUNCH? 202 00:07:56,931 --> 00:07:58,413 PLEASE TELL ME YOU'’RE NOT "MANOREXIC." 203 00:07:58,413 --> 00:08:00,206 - I'’M EXACTLY THE RIGHT WEIGHT FOR MY HEIGHT. 204 00:08:00,206 --> 00:08:01,931 IN ADDITION TO BEING GOOD FOR THE EYES, 205 00:08:01,931 --> 00:08:04,827 CARROTS ARE NATURE'’S MOST ATTRACTIVE VEGETABLES. 206 00:08:04,827 --> 00:08:07,758 [chuckles] - [laughs] 207 00:08:07,758 --> 00:08:09,068 - WHO'’S THAT ONE? 208 00:08:09,068 --> 00:08:11,344 - I'’M LISSA, SADIE'’S BEST FRIEND. 209 00:08:11,344 --> 00:08:14,137 SADIE HAS TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOU. - OF COURSE SHE DID. 210 00:08:14,137 --> 00:08:16,275 SHE'’S IN LOVE WITH ME. 211 00:08:16,275 --> 00:08:18,862 - OH, LOOK, THE BUS FROM "CRAZY GO NUTS" HIGH. 212 00:08:18,862 --> 00:08:20,655 DON'’T LET IT LEAVE WITHOUT YOU. 213 00:08:20,655 --> 00:08:23,172 BYE. - BUT I STILL HAVE NINE CARROTS. 214 00:08:23,172 --> 00:08:25,551 - CAN I HAVE ONE? 215 00:08:29,172 --> 00:08:31,793 HEY! DID YOU KNOW SADIE'’S LAST BOYFRIEND DIED, 216 00:08:31,793 --> 00:08:33,655 AND EVERYONE THOUGHT SHE KILLED HIM? 217 00:08:33,655 --> 00:08:36,172 THAT WAS AFTER THEY THOUGHT SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS BABY. 218 00:08:38,965 --> 00:08:40,310 - IF YOU EVER KILL ME, 219 00:08:40,310 --> 00:08:42,448 I CAN ONLY HOPE YOU'’LL KEEP OUR MURDER BABY. 220 00:08:42,448 --> 00:08:44,275 - ♪ I OPENED UP MY EYES 221 00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:48,793 ♪ AND I SAW THE SUNLIGHT IN A NEW WAY ♪ 222 00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:50,655 ♪IT'’S A NEW PHASE ♪ 223 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,482 - I'’M NOT GOING TO THAT SAUSAGE PARTY AT JENNA'’S. 224 00:08:52,482 --> 00:08:55,103 I'’M TAKING A STAND. - AGAINST WHO, MY BEST FRIEND? 225 00:08:55,103 --> 00:08:56,241 - YES, FOR MY BEST FRIEND. 226 00:08:56,241 --> 00:08:57,655 - GO TO THE DAMN BARBECUE. 227 00:08:57,655 --> 00:08:59,206 I SERIOUSLY DON'’T CARE. - SEE, JAKE? 228 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,655 HE'’S GOOD. IF HE DOESN'’T HAVE A PROBLEM 229 00:09:00,655 --> 00:09:02,448 WITH IT, WHY SHOULD YOU? - HE'’S NOT GOOD. 230 00:09:02,448 --> 00:09:04,000 HE'’S BARELY USING ANY PRODUCT 231 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,827 AND HIS HAIR IS LIMP. AND THAT FACE? 232 00:09:06,827 --> 00:09:08,551 IT'’S NOT A HAPPY ONE. 233 00:09:08,551 --> 00:09:11,000 SO YOU HAVE FUN AT THE BARBECUE. I'’M NOT GOING. 234 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,068 - ♪ I'’M CHANGING EVERYTHING BECAUSE I CAN ♪ 235 00:09:14,068 --> 00:09:16,655 - ♪ WHOA-OH - ♪ I'’M LIVIN'’ UP A NEW LIFE ♪ 236 00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:18,758 - SORRY, MAN. I TRIED. 237 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,413 - OUR BABIES WOULD LOOK LIKE LITTLE CHANNING TATUMS. 238 00:09:21,413 --> 00:09:22,724 I WONDER IF THEY'’LL BE ABLE TO DANCE. 239 00:09:22,724 --> 00:09:24,172 [gasps] OR STRIP. 240 00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:25,758 - WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION WITH AUSTIN? 241 00:09:25,758 --> 00:09:27,206 YOU DON'’T EVEN KNOW HIM. 242 00:09:27,206 --> 00:09:28,931 - HE'’S HOT. THAT'’S ALL I NEED TO KNOW. 243 00:09:28,931 --> 00:09:31,034 BESIDE, IF YOU DON'’T WANT TO DATE HIM, 244 00:09:31,034 --> 00:09:32,413 WHY CAN'’T I? 245 00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:33,793 - OF COURSE I DON'’T WANT TO DATE HIM. 246 00:09:33,793 --> 00:09:35,896 I COULDN'’T EVEN FIT IN HIS JEANS. 247 00:09:35,896 --> 00:09:37,517 [phone beeps] 248 00:09:37,517 --> 00:09:39,793 HEY, IT'’S ME. 249 00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:44,000 NO, I DON'’T MISS YOU. I DON'’T EVEN THINK ABOUT YOU. 250 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,827 YOU'’RE GOING OUT WITH MY FRIEND SATURDAY. 251 00:09:46,827 --> 00:09:49,068 - [squeals] YAY! 252 00:09:53,482 --> 00:09:55,275 - I KNOW YOU'’RE EXCITED ABOUT THIS PARTY, 253 00:09:55,275 --> 00:09:56,793 BUT DON'’T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. 254 00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:58,896 YOUR FRIENDS MIGHT NEED SOME TIME TO ADJUST. 255 00:09:58,896 --> 00:10:00,482 - WHAT THEY NEED IS TIME WITH YOU. 256 00:10:00,482 --> 00:10:02,310 - I DON'’T WANT THEM FEELING PRESSURE TO TAKE SIDES. 257 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:05,241 - TRUST ME, NO ONE IS TAKING SIDES. 258 00:10:05,241 --> 00:10:08,068 - I'’M TOTALLY ON YOUR SIDE. 259 00:10:13,689 --> 00:10:15,241 - MOM? CAN I SEE YOU IN THE KITCHEN? 260 00:10:15,241 --> 00:10:17,310 - I THINK YOU CAN SEE ME JUST FINE RIGHT HERE. 261 00:10:24,827 --> 00:10:26,413 - YOU CANNOT HANG OUT WITH MATTY. 262 00:10:26,413 --> 00:10:29,000 - I AM NOT HANGING OUT WITH MATTY. 263 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,068 HE'’S... 264 00:10:31,068 --> 00:10:32,965 HANGING OUT WITH ME. - BUT YOU'’RE MY MOM. 265 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,862 DON'’T YOU SEE WHAT'’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? 266 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,551 IF YOU'’RE GONNA TAKE SIDES, IT HAS TO BE MINE, 267 00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:42,448 WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH MATTY TOO. 268 00:10:45,551 --> 00:10:47,310 - WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL, 269 00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:51,275 AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW, IT MEANT A LOT TO ME. 270 00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,310 - ME TOO. - AND I HATE HAVING TO DO THIS. 271 00:10:53,310 --> 00:10:55,103 - SO DON'’T. - I HAVE TO. 272 00:10:55,103 --> 00:10:59,379 OUR TIMING IS JUST-- [sighs]--OFF. 273 00:10:59,379 --> 00:11:03,172 BUT I DON'’T WANT TO LOSE YOU AS A FRIEND, 274 00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:06,241 BUT I HAVE TO. YOU SHOULD KNOW, 275 00:11:06,241 --> 00:11:08,172 IT'’S NOT YOU, IT'’S ME. 276 00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:14,068 ACTUALLY, IT'’S JENNA. - I'’M GONNA GO. 277 00:11:14,068 --> 00:11:16,931 GOOD-BYE, MRS. HAMILTON. 278 00:11:16,931 --> 00:11:18,862 - MATTY, WAIT! 279 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:24,517 TAKE THESE TO REMEMBER ME BY. 280 00:11:29,206 --> 00:11:31,241 - IRON FIST HERE? - NO ONE IS. 281 00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:32,965 SHOULD I BE WORRIED? - NO. 282 00:11:32,965 --> 00:11:35,137 YOU SHOULD BE KISSED. 283 00:11:39,551 --> 00:11:41,724 - WHOA-HO. 284 00:11:41,724 --> 00:11:43,931 HI, COLLIN. 285 00:11:43,931 --> 00:11:45,586 - MR. HAMILTON. HOW ARE YOU, SIR? 286 00:11:45,586 --> 00:11:48,965 - GOOD. JUST MANNING THE GRILL. 287 00:11:48,965 --> 00:11:51,310 TAKING MY TIME WITH THE BURGERS. 288 00:11:54,275 --> 00:11:57,551 COOKING THEM REAL SLOW. 289 00:11:57,551 --> 00:12:00,758 YOU GOTTA COOK '’EM REAL, REAL SLOW... 290 00:12:00,758 --> 00:12:02,241 SO NOTHING GETS BURNED. 291 00:12:02,241 --> 00:12:06,241 - ♪I WAS LIVING ALL IN MY MIND ♪ 292 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,310 - JENNA SURE IS GOING THROUGH BOYS FAST. 293 00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:14,034 - MM, IT MUST BE SO WEIRD FOR YOU. 294 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,172 ALL THOSE TAUT, MASCULINE BODIES 295 00:12:16,172 --> 00:12:17,551 PARADING THROUGH THE HOUSE 296 00:12:17,551 --> 00:12:20,379 IN LOW-HANGING BOARD SHORTS AND TANK TOPS. 297 00:12:20,379 --> 00:12:22,034 - THEY'’RE JUST BOYS. 298 00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:25,172 - YEAH, BUT THE AGE GAP IS RAPIDLY CLOSING. 299 00:12:25,172 --> 00:12:27,275 I'’M SURE YOU CAN'’T HELP BUT TO FIND YOURSELF ATTRACTED 300 00:12:27,275 --> 00:12:29,689 TO THE ONES THAT HAVE MOVED INTO THEIR MAN BODIES. 301 00:12:29,689 --> 00:12:31,551 - OH, I CAN HELP IT. 302 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,448 - HI, MS. HAMILTON. 303 00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:34,827 MS. MARKS. 304 00:12:34,827 --> 00:12:36,793 - HEY. - WHERE ARE YOU TWO GOING? 305 00:12:36,793 --> 00:12:38,137 - TO A BARBECUE. - OH. 306 00:12:38,137 --> 00:12:39,655 I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'’T LIKE BARBECUES. 307 00:12:39,655 --> 00:12:41,379 - OH, I NEVER SAID THAT. 308 00:12:41,379 --> 00:12:45,034 BUT SINCE YOU'’RE SO INTO BARBECUES, 309 00:12:45,034 --> 00:12:46,965 AND THEY'’RE SO IMPORTANT TO YOU, 310 00:12:46,965 --> 00:12:50,206 I THOUGHT I'’D GIVE THEM A SHOT. 311 00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:53,448 - [whispering] THEY'’RE TALKING ABOUT YOU. 312 00:12:53,448 --> 00:12:56,000 - I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU BOTH COULD STAY. 313 00:12:57,206 --> 00:12:58,758 - WHY, THANK YOU, COLLIN. WE WILL. 314 00:12:58,758 --> 00:13:00,758 - GREAT. - SUCH A SWEETIE. 315 00:13:00,758 --> 00:13:03,068 FEEL FREE TO CHANGE INTO YOUR BOARD SHORTS AT ANY TIME. 316 00:13:08,482 --> 00:13:11,103 - HE'’S NO MATTY. - NOT EVEN CLOSE. 317 00:13:11,103 --> 00:13:14,206 TO MATTY. 318 00:13:14,206 --> 00:13:16,241 - I CAN'’T BELIEVE YOU JUST MADE ME SIT THROUGH THAT MOVIE. 319 00:13:16,241 --> 00:13:18,379 - I CAN'’T BELIEVE I MADE MYSELF SIT THROUGH IT. 320 00:13:18,379 --> 00:13:21,206 WHY DO PEOPLE THINK ANNE HATHAWAY IS A GOOD ACTRESS? 321 00:13:21,206 --> 00:13:23,000 - HMM, SHE'’S SEXY. 322 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,275 - I KNOW IT'’S COMMON KNOWLEDGE, 323 00:13:24,275 --> 00:13:27,413 BUT YOU HAVE TERRIBLE TASTE IN WOMEN... 324 00:13:27,413 --> 00:13:30,310 EXCEPT FOR DEVON! 325 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,068 AND YOU SHOULD GET ON THAT ASAP. 326 00:13:33,068 --> 00:13:34,965 - YEAH, MAYBE I WILL. 327 00:13:34,965 --> 00:13:37,172 YOU KNOW, YOU DON'’T HAVE TO DISTRACT ME ALL AFTERNOON. 328 00:13:37,172 --> 00:13:39,517 IT'’S JUST A STUPID BARBECUE. 329 00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:40,758 I CAN HANDLE IT. [phone chirps] 330 00:13:40,758 --> 00:13:43,275 - ACTUALLY, YOU'’RE DISTRACTING ME. 331 00:13:43,275 --> 00:13:46,103 "DEXTER" IS STILL CALLING AND TEXTING ME 332 00:13:46,103 --> 00:13:49,000 A BILLION TIMES A DAY. - OH. 333 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,103 WOW, YEAH, HE'’S HOT. 334 00:13:51,103 --> 00:13:52,482 AND YOU LIKE HIM. 335 00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:53,758 - I DO NOT. 336 00:13:53,758 --> 00:13:55,758 - THEN WHY IS HIS PICTURE IN YOUR PHONE? 337 00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:57,551 - THE PSYCHO PUT IT IN THERE. 338 00:13:57,551 --> 00:13:58,586 - YEAH, BUT YOU DIDN'’T DELETE IT. 339 00:13:58,586 --> 00:14:00,379 - WHATEVER. 340 00:14:00,379 --> 00:14:01,689 HE'’S INTO LISSA. 341 00:14:01,689 --> 00:14:03,655 - THEN WHY IS HE TEXTING YOU? 342 00:14:03,655 --> 00:14:05,000 - ANYONE SEEN MY PHONE? 343 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,241 [bleep]! JENNA IS GONNA THINK 344 00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:07,586 WE'’RE SHOWING UP LATE ON PURPOSE. 345 00:14:07,586 --> 00:14:09,103 - AREN'’T WE? - FORGET ABOUT YOUR PHONE. 346 00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:10,241 LET'’S GET THIS OVER WITH ALREADY. 347 00:14:10,241 --> 00:14:11,620 - DO YOU THINK I WANT TO DO THIS? 348 00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:12,827 - YOU MADE IT PRETTY CLEAR THAT YOU DID YESTERDAY. 349 00:14:12,827 --> 00:14:14,655 - I PUNCHED COLLIN IN THE FACE, 350 00:14:14,655 --> 00:14:16,137 AND HAD TO KEEP THE SECRET ABOUT THEIR AFFAIR. 351 00:14:16,137 --> 00:14:18,103 I REALLY DON'’T WANT TO GO. 352 00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:23,862 - YOU KNEW ABOUT JENNA CHEATING ON MATTY 353 00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:26,551 BEFORE HER PARTY AND YOU DIDN'’T TELL ME? 354 00:14:26,551 --> 00:14:29,724 - I WAS SWORN TO SECRECY. 355 00:14:29,724 --> 00:14:31,517 - MATTY IS MY BEST FRIEND. 356 00:14:31,517 --> 00:14:33,103 I COULD HAVE WARNED HIM SO THAT 357 00:14:33,103 --> 00:14:35,241 HE DIDN'’T HAVE TO BE MADE AN ASS OF IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. 358 00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:38,000 JENNA HUMILIATED HIM, THE WAY THAT SHE HUMILIATED ME. 359 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,931 - WHY DO YOU KEEP BRINGING THAT UP? 360 00:14:39,931 --> 00:14:41,137 - OH, I'’M DONE BRINGING IT UP. 361 00:14:41,137 --> 00:14:43,517 YOU'’LL NEVER HEAR IT FROM ME AGAIN... 362 00:14:43,517 --> 00:14:46,241 OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. 363 00:14:47,827 --> 00:14:52,448 [door slams] - [crying] 364 00:14:52,448 --> 00:14:53,724 - SO NO BARBECUE? 365 00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:56,655 - WITH TAMARA INVOLVED, 366 00:14:56,655 --> 00:14:58,275 I KNEW MY FRIENDS WOULD BE FASHIONABLY LATE. 367 00:14:58,275 --> 00:15:00,413 BUT, AFTER AN HOUR, THEY WERE BORDERING 368 00:15:00,413 --> 00:15:02,172 ON FASHIONABLY MISSING MY PARTY, 369 00:15:02,172 --> 00:15:04,586 WHICH HAD ALREADY BEEN DOWNGRADED TO A LAME COOKOUT... 370 00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:07,068 [door sliding] 371 00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:09,896 BECAUSE NO ONE UNDER 30 HAD SHOWN UP. 372 00:15:09,896 --> 00:15:12,551 - WHERE ARE ALL THE HOTTIES? - HOT DOGS. 373 00:15:12,551 --> 00:15:14,241 SHE MEANS HOT DOGS. 374 00:15:14,241 --> 00:15:15,793 - JENNA, I'’VE GOT TO TAKE THESE BURGERS OFF. 375 00:15:15,793 --> 00:15:17,620 ANY MORE FIRE AND THEY'’LL BE CREMATED. 376 00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:19,517 - LET'’S JUST WAIT FOR EVERYBODY ELSE. 377 00:15:22,034 --> 00:15:23,793 - [grunts] 378 00:15:23,793 --> 00:15:25,689 NO ONE WAS ANSWERING THE FRONT DOOR. 379 00:15:25,689 --> 00:15:27,448 SORRY I'’M LATE. - NO WORRIES. 380 00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,103 WHERE'’S MING? - WE DROVE SEPARATELY. 381 00:15:29,103 --> 00:15:31,689 YOU KNOW, THE HUANGS. SO OVERPROTECTIVE. 382 00:15:31,689 --> 00:15:33,793 MING TEXTED. THEY'’RE RUNNING LATE. 383 00:15:33,793 --> 00:15:36,689 - HOW LATE? [phone whooshes] 384 00:15:36,689 --> 00:15:38,586 - THEY'’RE NOT COMING. 385 00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:44,241 - I CAN'’T BELIEVE THEY BAILED. 386 00:15:44,241 --> 00:15:46,034 - JENNA, PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES. 387 00:15:46,034 --> 00:15:47,448 YOU'’RE ASKING THEM TO HANG OUT WITH THE GUY 388 00:15:47,448 --> 00:15:49,689 WHO BROKE UP THEIR FRIENDS. 389 00:15:49,689 --> 00:15:51,586 - I'’M SORRY. - DON'’T BE. 390 00:15:51,586 --> 00:15:53,275 THEY DON'’T HAVE TO LIKE ME. 391 00:15:53,275 --> 00:15:56,448 HEY, COME HERE. 392 00:15:56,448 --> 00:15:59,620 THE ONLY PERSON I CARE WHO LIKES ME IS YOU. 393 00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:01,827 - WHY CAN'’T THEY BE HAPPY THAT I'’M HAPPY? 394 00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:05,206 - THEY'’LL COME AROUND. - AND IF THEY DON'’T? 395 00:16:05,206 --> 00:16:06,793 - TIME WILL TELL. 396 00:16:06,793 --> 00:16:08,448 THERE ARE SOME FRIENDS WHO ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES, 397 00:16:08,448 --> 00:16:10,827 AND SOME WHO ARE HAND SLAPPERS. 398 00:16:10,827 --> 00:16:12,448 MY GRANDMOTHER SAYS IT. 399 00:16:12,448 --> 00:16:14,344 IT'’S LIKE WHEN A KID DOES SOMETHING THEY SHOULDN'’T, 400 00:16:14,344 --> 00:16:15,655 AND YOU SLAP THEIR HAND. IT DOESN'’T HURT, 401 00:16:15,655 --> 00:16:17,620 BUT IT SENDS A MESSAGE. 402 00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:20,275 - OH, YOU'’RE WRONG. IT DOES HURT. 403 00:16:20,275 --> 00:16:21,482 DO YOU THINK THAT'’S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? 404 00:16:21,482 --> 00:16:23,034 - MAYBE. 405 00:16:23,034 --> 00:16:24,827 I DON'’T WANT TO COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS, 406 00:16:24,827 --> 00:16:27,517 SO IF YOU NEED US TO TAKE A STEP BACK, WE CAN. 407 00:16:27,517 --> 00:16:29,827 - NO. 408 00:16:29,827 --> 00:16:32,034 I JUST NEED TO TALK TO THEM. 409 00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:34,793 - OKAY. WELL, I'’M AROUND. 410 00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:36,724 IF YOU NEED ME, JUST CALL. 411 00:16:42,344 --> 00:16:44,655 - I HAD BEEN HOLDING BACK MY FEELINGS, 412 00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,551 BUT IT WAS TIME TO GET THEM OUT. 413 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,379 - IT'’S TAMARA. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. 414 00:16:51,379 --> 00:16:53,310 - ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. 415 00:16:55,689 --> 00:16:57,724 [phone chirps] - [giggles] 416 00:16:57,724 --> 00:16:59,896 - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 417 00:16:59,896 --> 00:17:01,103 YOU LAUGHED. 418 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,586 AND NOT AT HIM-- WITH HIM. 419 00:17:03,586 --> 00:17:05,172 YOU REALLY LIKE HIM. - SHUT UP. 420 00:17:05,172 --> 00:17:06,862 - WHY DON'’T YOU GO FOR IT? 421 00:17:06,862 --> 00:17:08,241 - BECAUSE IT WOULD NEVER WORK. 422 00:17:08,241 --> 00:17:10,241 BECAUSE MY LIFE SUCKS, 423 00:17:10,241 --> 00:17:11,724 AND NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS TO ME. 424 00:17:11,724 --> 00:17:13,551 - YOUR LIFE SUCKS? TRY BEING ME FOR A DAY. 425 00:17:13,551 --> 00:17:15,103 - [scoffs] 426 00:17:15,103 --> 00:17:16,275 YOU WANNA GO THERE, MCKIBBEN? 427 00:17:16,275 --> 00:17:18,620 BECAUSE I WILL WIN THIS SUCK-FEST. 428 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:19,965 - NO WAY. 429 00:17:19,965 --> 00:17:21,586 MY GIRLFRIEND CHEATED ON ME, 430 00:17:21,586 --> 00:17:22,965 AND I FOUND OUT ALONG WITH A DOZEN 431 00:17:22,965 --> 00:17:24,241 OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS. 432 00:17:24,241 --> 00:17:26,137 AND I WANT TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THE GUY, 433 00:17:26,137 --> 00:17:28,034 BUT I CAN'’T, BECAUSE EVERYONE EXPECTS ME 434 00:17:28,034 --> 00:17:29,344 TO BE THE DICK IN THIS SITUATION, 435 00:17:29,344 --> 00:17:31,379 AND I REFUSE TO GIVE THEM THE SATISFACTION. 436 00:17:31,379 --> 00:17:34,379 - MY BOYFRIEND CHEATED ON ME WITH A DUDE, 437 00:17:34,379 --> 00:17:36,172 THEN SCREWED MY BEST FRIEND AND THEN DIED, 438 00:17:36,172 --> 00:17:37,586 AND EVERYBODY THOUGHT I KILLED HIM. 439 00:17:37,586 --> 00:17:38,827 NOT DONE YET. 440 00:17:38,827 --> 00:17:40,068 THEN MY PARENTS WENT BROKE, 441 00:17:40,068 --> 00:17:41,620 SO WE HAD TO SELL THE HOUSE, THE CARS, 442 00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:42,862 AND NOW THEY'’RE DIVORCING. 443 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,896 AND THE DUNG ICING ON MY CRAP CUPCAKE-- 444 00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:46,931 MY DAD AUCTIONED OFF MY BELOVED HORSE, 445 00:17:46,931 --> 00:17:50,310 PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT. 446 00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:53,344 - YOU WIN. YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK. 447 00:17:55,034 --> 00:17:57,241 [both laugh] 448 00:17:57,241 --> 00:17:59,206 AND THAT'’S WHY YOU GOTTA GIVE THIS GUY A SHOT. 449 00:17:59,206 --> 00:18:01,620 BUT IF YOU'’RE TOO MUCH OF A [bleep] TO MAKE A MOVE, 450 00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:04,620 I WILL, BECAUSE THAT IS ONE SEXY DUDE. 451 00:18:07,965 --> 00:18:11,103 [phone beeps] 452 00:18:11,103 --> 00:18:15,448 - LISS, YOU CAN'’T DATE AUSTIN. 453 00:18:15,448 --> 00:18:18,965 TURNS OUT HE'’S SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. 454 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,310 ME. 455 00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:22,862 - I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIS STUPID FACE AGAIN! 456 00:18:22,862 --> 00:18:24,413 HE IS SUCH A JERK. 457 00:18:24,413 --> 00:18:25,793 HIS MOM SHOULD HAVE NAMED HIM JERK ROSATI. 458 00:18:25,793 --> 00:18:27,275 - YOU ARE SUCH A DRAMA-NATRIX. 459 00:18:27,275 --> 00:18:28,896 TELL HIM YOU'’RE SORRY AND MOVE ON. 460 00:18:28,896 --> 00:18:30,413 - OH, NO. 461 00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:32,206 WE ARE SO LATE FOR JENNA'’S PARTY. 462 00:18:32,206 --> 00:18:33,655 SHE IS GONNA KILL US. 463 00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:35,896 - NO, I ALREADY TEXTED FRED, LIKE, A HALF HOUR AGO 464 00:18:35,896 --> 00:18:37,068 TO TELL HER WE'’RE NOT COMING. 465 00:18:37,068 --> 00:18:39,689 [phone chiming] SOMEONE'’S TEXT-BOMBING. 466 00:18:39,689 --> 00:18:40,931 THEY'’RE FROM JENNA. 467 00:18:40,931 --> 00:18:43,137 WHOA. - WHAT? 468 00:18:43,137 --> 00:18:45,448 [gasps] - IT JUST KEEPS COMING. 469 00:18:45,448 --> 00:18:46,793 [phones chiming] 470 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,000 - "YOU ARE IMMATURE AND UNEVOLVED, 471 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000 AND CAN'’T BE HAPPY BECAUSE I'’M HAPPY"? 472 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,172 - I SERIOUSLY HAVE SKULL SHOCK. WHAT'’S A HAND SLAPPER? 473 00:18:53,172 --> 00:18:55,931 - WE'’VE GOTTA CALL HER. 474 00:18:55,931 --> 00:18:58,068 [phone beeps] - NOW YOU CALL. 475 00:18:58,068 --> 00:18:59,896 - WE CAN EXPLAIN. - [scoffs] 476 00:18:59,896 --> 00:19:01,655 ACTIONS SPEAK WAY LOUDER THAN WORDS. 477 00:19:01,655 --> 00:19:04,275 - I DON'’T KNOW ABOUT THAT. YOUR TEXT WAS PRETTY LOUD. 478 00:19:04,275 --> 00:19:06,068 - OH, SO NOW YOU'’RE GONNA BLAME THIS ON ME? 479 00:19:06,068 --> 00:19:09,137 - HEY, JAKE AND I HAD A HUGE FIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU. 480 00:19:09,137 --> 00:19:10,586 - WELL, YOU AND JAKE WOULDN'’T EVEN BE TOGETHER 481 00:19:10,586 --> 00:19:12,551 IF IT WEREN'’T FOR ME. - HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT? 482 00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:14,310 - BECAUSE MOST FRIENDS WOULDN'’T BE COOL 483 00:19:14,310 --> 00:19:16,310 WITH THEIR FRIENDS DATING THEIR EXES, 484 00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:19,172 AND YOU DID IT TWO SECONDS AFTER JAKE AND I BROKE UP. 485 00:19:19,172 --> 00:19:20,517 - I WOULD HAVE NEVER DONE IT 486 00:19:20,517 --> 00:19:22,275 IF I DIDN'’T THINK YOU WERE OKAY WITH IT. 487 00:19:22,275 --> 00:19:24,034 - WELL, I WASN'’T. BUT I GUESS YOU COULDN'’T 488 00:19:24,034 --> 00:19:25,448 GET YOUR OWN GUY, SO YOU HAD TO GO 489 00:19:25,448 --> 00:19:26,793 FOR MY SLOPPY SECONDS. 490 00:19:26,793 --> 00:19:29,103 [bleep] NOT COOL, J. 491 00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:30,689 - OF COURSE YOU WOULD SIDE WITH HER, MING. 492 00:19:30,689 --> 00:19:32,137 YOU'’RE SUCH A FOLLOWER. 493 00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:33,551 - I'’M OUT. 494 00:19:33,551 --> 00:19:36,137 - WERE THEY SERVING "CRAY" POUPON AT YOUR BARBECUE? 495 00:19:36,137 --> 00:19:37,827 '’CAUSE YOU'’RE ACTING INSANE. 496 00:19:37,827 --> 00:19:40,172 - NO, "INSANE" IS BLOWING OFF MY PARTY 497 00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:41,862 AND NOT EVEN BOTHERING TO CALL. 498 00:19:41,862 --> 00:19:43,413 - THIS IS NOT YOU. 499 00:19:43,413 --> 00:19:45,344 YOU ARE NOT JUST CHANGING THE WAY YOU DRESS. 500 00:19:45,344 --> 00:19:46,931 YOU'’RE CHANGING YOUR PERSONALITY FOR THIS GUY. 501 00:19:46,931 --> 00:19:48,586 AND YOU CAN'’T EVEN SEE IT. 502 00:19:48,586 --> 00:19:51,758 - WHAT YOU CAN'’T SEE IS THAT YOU ARE DISLOYAL BACKSTABBERS, 503 00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:53,931 AND YOU ARE TOTALLY TAKING SIDES. 504 00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:55,310 - ACTUALLY, THAT'’S NOT TRUE. 505 00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:57,482 WE WEREN'’T TAKING SIDES, BUT WE ARE NOW. 506 00:19:57,482 --> 00:20:00,034 AND WE ARE NOT ON YOURS. 507 00:20:00,034 --> 00:20:02,103 - FINE! 508 00:20:06,482 --> 00:20:07,793 - THINGS HAD BEEN SAID THAT I KNEW 509 00:20:07,793 --> 00:20:10,344 COULDN'’T BE TAKEN BACK. 510 00:20:10,344 --> 00:20:13,137 AND I REALIZED GOING TO 11 ON THE FREAK-OMETER 511 00:20:13,137 --> 00:20:16,206 DIDN'’T HELP ANYTHING, BUT I KNEW WHAT WOULD. 512 00:20:16,206 --> 00:20:18,758 IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO EMBRACE A NEW KIND OF CHANGE. 513 00:20:18,758 --> 00:20:21,344 IF MY FRIENDS WERE GOING TO TAKE SIDES... 514 00:20:21,344 --> 00:20:24,413 [hard rock music] 515 00:20:24,413 --> 00:20:28,931 ♪ 516 00:20:28,931 --> 00:20:32,068 THEN I WOULD TOO. 517 00:20:32,068 --> 00:20:35,689 - ♪ EYES 518 00:20:35,689 --> 00:20:39,172 ♪ TELL A LOT TONIGHT 519 00:20:43,862 --> 00:20:44,965 - NEXT, ON AWKWARD... - THAT'’S NOT JENNA. 520 00:20:44,965 --> 00:20:46,413 THAT'’S THE GIRL THAT CHEATED ON YOU. 521 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:48,000 NOT TO MENTION, THAT GIRL ALMOST GOT ARRESTED. 522 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,517 - IS MATTY DATING SOMEONE NEW? 523 00:20:49,517 --> 00:20:51,862 - YOU DON'’T GET TO ASK WHO MATTY'’S DATING. 524 00:20:51,862 --> 00:20:54,206 - BUT HER NAME IS DEVON. ARE YOU DEVON-STATED? 525 00:20:54,206 --> 00:20:55,724 - PEOPLE BREAK UP, BUT YOUR FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED 526 00:20:55,724 --> 00:20:57,862 TO STAY ON YOUR SIDE. - YOU'’RE STARTING TO FIXATE. 527 00:20:57,862 --> 00:20:59,206 - I HAD FINALLY LEFT MY HEAD AND WAS STARTING TO PROCESS 528 00:20:59,206 --> 00:21:00,448 AND WAS STARTING TO PROCESS 529 00:21:00,448 --> 00:21:01,896 HOW FAR WE'’D GOTTEN IN COLLIN'’S BED. 39786

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