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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:04,221 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:04,961 [crowd groans] 3 00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:06,745 - I [bleep]ED YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 4 00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:07,790 - EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT YOU. 5 00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:08,791 YOUR SECRET BLOG-- 6 00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:10,488 NOT SO SECRET ANYMORE. 7 00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:12,142 - YOU HUMILIATED ME. 8 00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:13,404 [horn honks, brakes screech] 9 00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:14,927 - JENNA HAMILTON TRIED TO KILL HERSELF! 10 00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:15,885 AGAIN! 11 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,717 - I WAS DEAD. 12 00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:23,632 METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING. 13 00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:26,330 LIKE SYLVIA PLATH, I'D TAKEN MY OWN LIFE. 14 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:29,029 EXCEPT WHILE HERS ENDED IN AN OVEN, 15 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,248 MINE ENDED ON THE INTERNET. 16 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:32,467 MY BLOG WAS NO LONGER A SAFE HAVEN, 17 00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:35,644 SO THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY I COULD TAKE REFUGE 18 00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:36,993 FROM THE INTERNAL SLAUGHTER IN MY HEAD. 19 00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:40,910 I HAD TO PUT PEN TO PAPER. 20 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,043 TURNS OUT, RELEASING MY BLOG TO THE PUBLIC 21 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,219 WAS NOT THE ANSWER TO MY PROBLEMS. 22 00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:46,263 ONCE AGAIN, I WAS A PARIAH. 23 00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:49,005 AND EVEN THOUGH I HADN'T FORGIVEN 24 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,702 MY MOM FOR WRITING THE LETTER, 25 00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:52,661 SHE WAS WISE TO MY GUILT TRIPS. 26 00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:54,576 SO I COULDN'T EXPECT SHE WOULD LET ME STAY HOME, 27 00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,056 WHICH MEANT I HAD TO ENSURE IT. 28 00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:04,673 MOM, I HAVE A FEVER! 29 00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:09,982 MY HAND WASN'T THE ONLY THING GETTING HOT AND BOTHERED. 30 00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:11,810 [Lacey giggling] 31 00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,030 MY MOM WAS TOO. 32 00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:16,598 SUDDENLY I DIDN'T NEED TO PLAY SICK ANYMORE. 33 00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:18,817 I WAS SICK, AND I NEEDED TO ESCAPE 34 00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:22,473 BEFORE I WAS CONFRONTED WITH WHAT I EXPECTED TO SEE-- 35 00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:26,869 MY MOTHER WITH A... 36 00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:27,087 DAD? 37 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:34,398 - HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 38 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,270 - UNCOMFORTABLE. - UNDERSTANDABLE. 39 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:39,099 IT'S PROBABLY A LITTLE SHOCKING 40 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,404 TO SEE US TOGETHER. 41 00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:42,363 - SEEING YOU TOGETHER, NOT SO SHOCKING. 42 00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:44,495 IT'S MORE OF WHERE AND HOW. 43 00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:45,801 - MM-HMM. 44 00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:48,325 - JUST TALK TO US. 45 00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:49,631 - WHAT'S GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD? 46 00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:51,023 - YOUR BOOBS. 47 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:53,330 MIGHT WANT TO BELT UP. 48 00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:54,723 I THOUGHT YOU WERE DATING HANNAH. 49 00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,594 - SO DID I. 50 00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:58,509 - I WASN'T. 51 00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,250 WHICH IS WHY I CAME OVER TO CLEAR THINGS UP. 52 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:03,035 - AND YOU DID. - [growls softly] 53 00:02:03,035 --> 00:02:05,908 - ARE YOU GUYS BACK TOGETHER? 54 00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:09,172 - WE'RE WORKING IT OUT. 55 00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:12,567 - RIGHT, THERE'S STILL WORK TO DO. 56 00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:15,439 - AND IF THAT WORK WAS GONNA HAPPEN IN THE HOUSE, 57 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:17,354 I HAD TO VACATE THE PREMISES. 58 00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:21,532 RIGHT, WELL, I AM FEELING MUCH BETTER NOW, 59 00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:22,881 SO I'M GONNA HEAD TO SCHOOL. 60 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:25,536 - WELL, LET ME GET DRESSED. - SHE CAN DRIVE HERSELF. 61 00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:27,147 - SHE IS NOT DRIVING THE SLUT-WAGON. 62 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,670 THE THING WILL ONLY BRING HER NEGATIVE ATTENTION. 63 00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:30,150 - CAR OR NO CAR, 64 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,022 NEGATIVE ATTENTION WAS ABOUT THE ONLY ATTENTION 65 00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:35,155 I COULD EXPECT. 66 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:39,898 - YOU SURE YOU'RE FEELING OKAY? 67 00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:41,117 YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD. 68 00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:42,597 - I'M FINE. 69 00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:43,859 I WASN'T, BUT HOW DO YOU TELL YOUR MOM 70 00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:44,686 YOU'RE ABOUT TO WALK INTO A PUBLIC LYNCHING? 71 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:47,036 - REALLY? 72 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,690 - WELL, THERE ARE A COUPLE SMALL THINGS 73 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,257 THAT HAPPENED RECENTLY WHICH ARE MAKING ME 74 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,215 A WEE BIT APPREHENSIVE. 75 00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,217 - BITCH! - LIKE THAT. 76 00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:54,870 - DON'T CALL MY DAUGHTER A BITCH! 77 00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:57,394 - NOT HER, YOU. 78 00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:01,268 - WHAT'S GOING ON? 79 00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:02,530 - SO JAKE BROKE UP WITH ME 80 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,401 AND THEN CAUGHT ME MAKING OUT WITH MATTY, 81 00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,750 WHICH SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A THING, 82 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,274 'CAUSE I WAS TECHNICALLY SINGLE, 83 00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,449 BUT HE THINKS I'M A CHEATER BECAUSE HE DIDN'T KNOW 84 00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:10,712 THAT I WAS WITH MATTY BEFORE I WAS WITH HIM, 85 00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:12,714 SO HE THOUGHT THAT WE WERE SEEING EACH OTHER 86 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,019 WHILE I WAS SEEING HIM, THAT "HIM" BEING JAKE. 87 00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:15,064 FOLLOWING? 88 00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:16,413 SO I EXPOSED MY BLOG 89 00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,328 AND BASICALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF, 90 00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:19,895 AND I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT THERE WOULD BE COLLATERAL DAMAGE, 91 00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,984 WHICH I GUESS SORT OF DEFINITELY INVOLVES YOU 92 00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:25,683 AND THE LETTER. 93 00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:28,077 - EVERYONE KNOWS I WROTE THE LETTER? 94 00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:31,472 - YOU'RE DISGUSTING. 95 00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:32,734 - I KNOW IT SEEMS LIKE I DID THIS ON PURPOSE 96 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:35,127 BECAUSE THINGS AREN'T RESOLVED BETWEEN US. 97 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:37,129 I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU. 98 00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:40,437 - HAVE A NICE DAY, HONEY. 99 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:48,489 - WE NEED TO TALK. 100 00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:50,273 - I CAN'T. NOT NOW. 101 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:52,449 - PLEASE, LET ME SAY MY PIECE. 102 00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:53,972 WRITING THAT LETTER TO JENNA WAS TERRIBLE. 103 00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:56,453 - AGREED. - AND CRUEL. 104 00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,542 - I GET IT. - NO, YOU DON'T. 105 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:01,545 BUT I DO, BECAUSE DESPITE HOW TOGETHER I MAY SEEM 106 00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:02,720 I WAS ONCE A MISFIT TOO. 107 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,635 YEAH, I KNOW IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE, 108 00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:05,941 BUT THINGS WEREN'T ALWAYS SMOOTH SAILING 109 00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:08,422 FOR THIS OLD KIMOSABE. 110 00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:11,468 AND DO YOU KNOW WHO ALWAYS LIFTED ME UP? 111 00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,644 - YOUR MOTHER. - THAT'S RIGHT. 112 00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,559 AND LET ME TELL YOU, I WAS PRETTY HEAVY BACK THEN. 113 00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,605 I HAD A TENDENCY TO EAT MY FEELINGS, 114 00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:21,086 BUT NO MATTER HOW HEAVY MY LOAD 115 00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:22,436 OR MY ASS, 116 00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,307 MY MOTHER COULD ALWAYS LIGHTEN IT 117 00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,527 WITH HER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE 118 00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:28,616 BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT GOOD MOTHERS DO. 119 00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:32,184 THEY LOVE THEIR KIDS. THEY DON'T TEAR THEM DOWN. 120 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:35,536 L-DAWG, I REALLY EXPECTED 121 00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:36,972 WE WERE ON THE ROAD TO BEING BESTIES, 122 00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:39,714 BUT NOW I-- 123 00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:42,325 I DON'T THINK I CAN EVEN BE YOUR FRIEND. 124 00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:50,246 - [sighs] 125 00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:51,029 - WHAT KINDA DAY ARE WE LOOKING AT, 126 00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:52,466 LUNCH IN THE BATHROOM? 127 00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:54,946 - NOPE, I'M CLEAR FOR QUAD EXPOSURE. 128 00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:57,340 I'M BACK IN WITH THE MAFIA, BIG TIME. 129 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,211 THEY GOT MY PARENTS TO BUY ME A CAR. 130 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:02,214 - YOU'RE KIDDING. WHY? 131 00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:03,564 - IT'S A PEACE OFFERING. 132 00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:04,129 BECCA'S SCARED [bleep]LESS OF YOU, 133 00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:06,393 AND BY PROXY, NOW ME. 134 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,133 - WHY IS SHE SCARED OF ME? 135 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,526 - 'CAUSE PUTTING YOURSELF UP FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION 136 00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,702 IS, LIKE, BATSHIZAT ON CRACK. 137 00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:13,008 YOU'RE THE SCARIEST KIND OF LOOSE CANNON, JENNA. 138 00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:15,445 YOU'RE A SUICIDE BOMBER. 139 00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:16,403 - I WASN'T TRYING TO BLOW MYSELF UP. 140 00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,187 - MOTIVE DOESN'T MATTER 141 00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,667 BUT MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. 142 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:20,755 YOUR SOCIAL SUICIDE SCARED EVERYONE SILENT. 143 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:23,584 - I ASSUMED IT WAS MERELY THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM, 144 00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:27,936 AND AS SUCH I WAS BATTENING DOWN THE HATCHES. 145 00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:30,068 - WATCH IT! 146 00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:31,635 JENNA. - SORRY, JULIE. 147 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:32,984 JULIE. 148 00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:35,204 I HAD HIT THE HORNETS NEST-- THE JULIES. 149 00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:37,946 THEY WERE POWER BROKERS, 150 00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:40,427 THE KIND OF GIRLS WHO COULD MAKE OR BREAK A REPUTATION 151 00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,342 WITH A SIMPLE SMILE OR A SMIRK. 152 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,082 NOBODY WANTED TO MESS WITH THEM, 153 00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,694 AND I DEFINITELY DIDN'T WANT THEM TO MESS WITH ME. 154 00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:49,174 - WHAT YOU DID WAS BALLSY. - AND PSYCHOTIC. 155 00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:50,437 - IT WAS A MISTAKE. 156 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,047 - NO, THE MISTAKE WAS DITCHING MATTY FOR JAKE. 157 00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,701 - TEAM JAKE ALL THE WAY! 158 00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:54,876 - SERIOUSLY, WHEN MATTY SHOWED UP AT THE DANCE, 159 00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:57,139 TOTAL PANTY DROP. 160 00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,401 - FORGET YOU. 161 00:05:58,401 --> 00:05:59,837 NOTHING TRUMPS THE BIT WITH JAKE 162 00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:01,099 WHEN HE DECKED OUT HIS MOM'S MINIVAN. 163 00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:03,275 - IT WASN'T REALLY A BIT. 164 00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:05,016 THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. 165 00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:07,671 - WHATEVER. I JUST LOVED IT. 166 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:08,368 ANYHOO, GOTTA GO. 167 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,457 BACK-UP PANTS A-CALLING. 168 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:14,896 - THAT WAS STRANGE. 169 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:16,027 - AND UNEXPECTED. 170 00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:17,420 - SHE JUST SAID "BACK-UP PANTS." 171 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,769 THAT WAS HER QUOTING YOU QUOTING ME. 172 00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:21,772 DO YOU REALIZE WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 173 00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:23,426 YOU'VE JUST BEEN BITCH-BACKED BY THE JULIES. 174 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,646 - OKAY. - YOU DON'T GET IT. 175 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:26,516 YOU'RE, LIKE, A SMALL CABLE SHOW. 176 00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:28,083 YOU MAY NOT HAVE A BUDGET OR MARKETING, 177 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,780 BUT YOU'RE INTERESTING 178 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,695 AND YOU'RE CATCHING ON WITH THE RIGHT PEEPS. 179 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,305 PEEPS THAT GET YOU AND CARE WHAT YOU THINK. 180 00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:34,872 - NOBODY CARES WHAT I THINK. 181 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:35,830 BUT IRONICALLY, THEY DID. 182 00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,397 I HAD FANS. 183 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,269 - ♪ AND I DON'T KNOW, KNOW 184 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:42,576 ♪ I DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU ♪ 185 00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:45,405 - AND THEY WANTED DATING ADVICE... 186 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,929 - PSST. 187 00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:51,280 - FASHION TIPS... 188 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:52,194 [overlapping talking] 189 00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,762 AND A TEENAGE PERSPECTIVE. 190 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:57,678 SUDDENLY EVERYONE NEEDED MY OPINION ON THEIR LIFE 191 00:06:57,678 --> 00:06:58,330 AND TO WEIGH IN ON MINE. 192 00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:00,942 IT WAS OVERWHELMING 193 00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,117 AND EXHILARATING. 194 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,380 I WAS A TASTEMAKER. 195 00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:08,645 - UGH, HOW IS THE HAMIL-TROLL'S STAR RISING WHILE MINE FALLS? 196 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:09,646 THE BITCH REALLY CROSSED THE LINE 197 00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,301 EXPOSING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH RICKY. 198 00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:13,781 - I CALL SHENANIGANS. 199 00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:15,739 SHE DIDN'T HO AND TELL. 200 00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,132 EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW ABOUT YOU AND RICKY. 201 00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:17,611 - HO AND TELL? 202 00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,308 DON'T MAKE ME PUKE 203 00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,571 WITH THAT SIDE-STOOGE'S LINGO. 204 00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,181 - LOOK, I KNOW JENNA'S BLOG 205 00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:24,487 DIDN'T PAINT YOU IN THE BEST LIGHT. 206 00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,794 BUT YOU GOTTA GIVE HER CREDIT. SHE CAN SPELL. 207 00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,752 - I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE HER CREDIT 208 00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:31,015 FOR ANYTHING EXCEPT INDUCING MY STRESS. 209 00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:33,235 SHE TOTALLY EXAGGERATED RICKY'S PAST INDISCRETIONS 210 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:35,672 ON THAT RETARDED BLOG, 211 00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:38,458 WHICH IS WHY I NOW HAVE THE WORST BREAKOUT 212 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:38,849 OF MY LIFE. 213 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:41,330 SEE? 214 00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,114 - TIA! 215 00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,247 - PLEASE, STOP WITH THE SLANG 216 00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:46,770 OR I'M GONNA SLAP YOU. 217 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:49,686 WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT? 218 00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:50,948 - I DON'T THINK YOU'RE BREAKING OUT. 219 00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,734 YOU'VE BEEN MAKING OUT. THAT IS A KISS BLISTER. 220 00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:54,952 - WHAT THE HELL IS A KISS BLISTER? 221 00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:57,781 - HERPES. 222 00:07:57,781 --> 00:07:59,957 - THIS IS NOT THAT. 223 00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:03,395 IT'S A ZIT. 224 00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:04,919 - GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING. 225 00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:12,970 - YOU SHOULD SAY SOMETHING. 226 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:16,365 - WHAT IS THERE TO SAY THAT HASN'T ALREADY BEEN SAID? 227 00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:17,584 OR READ? 228 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:18,715 - GOOD POINT. 229 00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:20,717 - WITH ALL MY NEWFOUND VALIDATION, 230 00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,806 I HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN 231 00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:23,503 THE ONE OPINION THAT MATTERED MOST. 232 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,462 MAKE THAT THE TWO OPINIONS. 233 00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:27,637 MAYBE IT IS A GOOD TIME TO TALK. 234 00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,509 'CAUSE MY NEW POSITIVE APPROVAL RATING 235 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,685 COULD BE RUBBING OFF ON THEM TOO. 236 00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,774 RIGHT? - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEM. 237 00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,427 BUT IT'S DEFINITELY RUBBING OFF ON ME. 238 00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,690 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ROCKING MY SLANGUAGE LEFT AND RIGHT. 239 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,474 I'VE HEARD THREE TAMARA "ISMS" 240 00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:40,650 IN THE FIRST TWO PERIODS ALONE. 241 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,348 ALTHOUGH AMY DUBE DOESN'T REALLY GET 242 00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:46,743 THAT A "FAIL MARY" ISN'T A GOOD THING. 243 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,266 GO. TALK TO THEM. 244 00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,094 WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? 245 00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,661 - THEY COULD SPIT IN MY FACE. 246 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,968 - THEY COULD, BUT THEY WON'T. 247 00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:05,240 - TURNS OUT MY GREAT EXPECTATIONS, 248 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:05,719 NOT SO GREAT. 249 00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:17,469 - HEY, DO YOU MIND IF WE SWITCH SEATS? 250 00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:19,602 - I DO. I'M NOT ON YOUR TEAM. 251 00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,125 - I AM. YOU COULD SWITCH WITH ME. 252 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:25,260 - THANKS, BUT MY OBJECTIVE IS TO GET FURTHER FROM SOMEONE, 253 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:26,304 NOT CLOSER. 254 00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,916 - CAN WE TRADE? - NO. 255 00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:31,309 - YOU'RE LAME. NO WONDER JENNA DUMPED YOU. 256 00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:33,703 - ALL RIGHT, FRENCHIES, 257 00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:36,967 MISS KANG HAD AN EMERGENCY AND HAD TO GO HOME, 258 00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:39,317 PROBABLY 'CAUSE SHE ATE SOME BAD CREME FRAICHE THIS MORNING. 259 00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:43,191 SOME CREME NOT-SO-FRAICHE, HUH? 260 00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:45,759 C'EST LA VIE. 261 00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,283 WELL, I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO CALL IN A SUB, 262 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,111 SO YOU'RE WATCHING A MOVIE. 263 00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:51,591 IT'S CALLED JULES AND JIM. 264 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,505 SO IN CASE YOU WANNA TUNE OUT AND TAKE A NAPSTER, 265 00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:55,159 HERE ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS. 266 00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,988 "TWO BEST FRIENDS FALL IN LOVE WITH THE SAME WOMAN, 267 00:09:57,988 --> 00:09:59,511 "WHO LEAVES THE INSECURE ONE FOR THE PASSIONATE ONE, 268 00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:02,079 "CAUSING FRICTION BETWEEN THEM. 269 00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:05,648 THEN THE WOMAN DRIVES ONE OF THEM OFF A BRIDGE." 270 00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:09,391 - A STUPID SUICIDAL GIRL COMES IN BETWEEN TWO FRIENDS. 271 00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:10,827 THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR. 272 00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:13,395 - OH, IT'S JUST LIKE JENNA HAMILTON'S LIFE. 273 00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:15,397 - EXCEPT THE MOVIE IS BETTER 274 00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:18,705 BECAUSE THE GIRL ACTUALLY DIES. 275 00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:19,793 - I HOPE YOU'RE TAKING NOTES, 276 00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:22,665 'CAUSE MATTY'S NOT IN THE WRONG--YOU ARE. 277 00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:23,840 - LISTEN, I APPRECIATE YOUR OPINION, 278 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,755 BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION. 279 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,627 - ACTUALLY, I DO. I READ THE BLOG. 280 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,063 - GOOD FOR YOU, BUT THERE'S NO WAY 281 00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:31,935 A STUPID MOVIE'S GONNA GIVE ME A NEW PERSPECTIVE. 282 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:34,416 I'M NEVER TALKING TO THAT [bleep] AGAIN. 283 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:38,463 - [speaking French] 284 00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:45,209 - WE SHOULD TALK. 285 00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:47,472 WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME THAT THE CAMP GIRL WAS JENNA? 286 00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:48,778 - I DON'T KNOW, MAN. 287 00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:49,779 I WAS STILL FIGURING IT ALL OUT 288 00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,302 WHEN SUDDENLY YOU WERE INTO HER, 289 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:54,175 AND EVERY TIME I TRIED TO TELL YOU, 290 00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:55,567 IT GOT MORE COMPLICATED. 291 00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:57,047 - MORE COMPLICATED THAN THIS? 292 00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,875 DUDE, I DON'T WANT OUR FRIENDSHIP TO GO OUT THIS WAY. 293 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:02,487 - NEITHER DO I. - SO WHAT DO WE DO? 294 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:03,967 - WE JUST MOVE ON. 295 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,229 AND WE TELL EACH OTHER THE TRUTH, OKAY? 296 00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,536 ABOUT EVERYTHING. 297 00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:08,842 - YEAH. GOOD FOR ME. 298 00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:10,974 - ME TOO. 299 00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:11,627 - WELL... 300 00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:14,499 both: SO YOU SHOULD KNOW-- 301 00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:19,113 I STILL LOVE JENNA. 302 00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:21,768 [overlapping chatter] 303 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,204 - CAN YOU HELP GET ME SOMEWHERE SAFE 304 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,379 AND OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT? 305 00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:25,423 - I GOT YOU, J. 306 00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:26,816 BACK OFF, SYCOPHANTS. 307 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,644 JENNA DOESN'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. 308 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:29,558 BUT YOU DO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. 309 00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:32,474 - HAVE YOU READ MY BLOG? 310 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,258 I DON'T. MY LIFE IS A MESS. 311 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:35,695 - AU CONTRAIRE. 312 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,000 THAT'S FRENCH FOR "ON THE CONTRARY." 313 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,480 - I GATHERED. 314 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:39,394 - YOUR LIFE ISN'T A MESS. IT'S AMAZING. 315 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:42,527 YOU HAVE FRIENDS, A BRO-DOWN, 316 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,225 AND A VERY NICE WAY WITH WORDS, 317 00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:46,749 WHICH I KNOW BECAUSE I DEVOURED EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM, 318 00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,229 VIRTUALLY SPEAKING OF COURSE. 319 00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:49,665 - OF COURSE. 320 00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,580 - SO HERE'S WHAT I NEED TO KNOW. 321 00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,495 - I WAS BRACING MYSELF. 322 00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:56,454 - WILL YOU HELP ME WRITE MY MEMOIR? 323 00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:58,108 [toilet flushes] 324 00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:59,544 - THIS IS GETTING INSANE. I'M NOT A ROLE MODEL. 325 00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,938 - NO, YOU'RE A LIFETIME MOVIE. 326 00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:04,898 SERIOUSLY, WE SHOULD THINK ABOUT ADAPTING YOUR BLOG. 327 00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,813 - THIS ISN'T A MOVIE, THIS IS MY LIFE, 328 00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:08,205 AND I DON'T HAVE A REMOTE TO TAKE CONTROL 329 00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:11,078 OR DELETE THE TRAUMATIC EPISODES INVOLVING MATTY AND JAKE. 330 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,297 THEY'RE NEVER GONNA TALK TO ME AGAIN. 331 00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:15,038 - THAT'S SO MAJOR! 332 00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,170 MAY-JER! 333 00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:17,867 - MAY-JOR! 334 00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:20,914 MAY-JER, MAY-JOR. 335 00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:23,481 LOSE THE "E" AND STRESS THE "O." 336 00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,092 - AMAZEBALLS. AND SO ARE YOU. 337 00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:27,050 YOU REALLY DODGED A BULLET WITH THAT RICKY REJECT. 338 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:29,270 RUMOR HAS IT HE'S ROCKING SOME NASTY STDs 339 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,098 IN HIS SEX-CRETINS. 340 00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:32,360 - SEX-CRETIONS. 341 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,883 BUT HE IS A CRETIN, THAT'S FOR SURE. 342 00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:34,841 [giggling] 343 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:37,844 SEE, JENNA? NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 344 00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,846 YOU'RE ON A POSITIVELY POSITIVE UPSWING. 345 00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,325 THE BOYS ARE BOUND TO COME AROUND. 346 00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:42,936 - NO DOUBT. 347 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:44,851 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU GAVE THEM HERPES. 348 00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:51,379 - [bleep]. 349 00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:54,599 [bell rings] 350 00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:08,091 - FINALLY, THE TIDE HAD TURNED, 351 00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:08,570 AND I WAS ABOUT TO GET THE SMACKDOWN 352 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:11,312 I HAD ANTICIPATED. 353 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:14,706 OKAY, HERE WE GO. 354 00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:17,013 LAY IT ON ME. I'M READY. 355 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:20,321 - WE'VE DECIDED NOT TO LET A GIRL COME BETWEEN US. 356 00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:21,496 - I UNDERSTAND. 357 00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:24,020 - SO YOU NEED TO CHOOSE. 358 00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:27,023 HIM OR ME. 359 00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,329 - TEAM JAKE! 360 00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:29,983 [all shouting] 361 00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:33,160 - TEAM JAKE! TEAM JAKE! TEAM JAKE! 362 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,727 [shouting continues] 363 00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,170 - I KNOW. 364 00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,911 I KNOW. 365 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,174 I KNOW! JUST LET ME BE! 366 00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:48,958 - MOM? 367 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,525 I'M HOME. 368 00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:51,656 [phone rings] 369 00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,658 - PLEASE DON'T. - HELLO. 370 00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:56,923 I'M FINE. 371 00:13:56,923 --> 00:14:00,752 MY MOTHER IS NOT A MONSTER. 372 00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,102 HAS THIS BEEN HAPPENING ALL DAY? 373 00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:04,017 - HONEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 374 00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,540 HOW 'BOUT A SNACK? 375 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:08,630 - APPARENTLY MY STIGMA HADN'T DISAPPEARED. 376 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,501 IT TRANSFERRED TO MY MOTHER. 377 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,460 MOM, I'M SO SORRY. 378 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,897 - YOU HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR. 379 00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,246 I DESERVE THIS. 380 00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:17,987 - THIS ISN'T TIT FOR TAT, I SWEAR. 381 00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,510 - I KNOW. 382 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,121 BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T FORGIVEN ME, 383 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,514 YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN CRUEL. 384 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,386 BUT I HAVE. 385 00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:28,650 THAT LETTER WAS CRUEL. 386 00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:30,782 - SO WHY DID YOU WRITE IT? 387 00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:37,050 - [sighs] 388 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,312 THE DAY I WROTE IT, 389 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:40,227 MY MOTHER LAID INTO ME, 390 00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:43,143 TELLING ME THAT I WASN'T RAISING YOU RIGHT. 391 00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:46,276 AND INSTEAD OF TUNING HER OUT, 392 00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:48,670 I TUNED HER IN. 393 00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:52,413 AND I DID WHAT I NEVER WANTED TO DO. 394 00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:56,504 I ATTACKED YOU THE WAY THAT SHE HAS ALWAYS ATTACKED ME, 395 00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:59,811 AND IT WASN'T RIGHT OR FAIR. 396 00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,552 IT WAS JUST A FAMILY PATTERN 397 00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:03,554 THAT APPARENTLY I COULDN'T BREAK. 398 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:04,773 - WE NEED TO CALL DAD. 399 00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:06,079 - NO, PLEASE DON'T CALL HIM. 400 00:15:06,079 --> 00:15:07,602 - HE CAN FIX THIS. 401 00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,517 - I KNOW, BUT HE CAN'T FIX ME. 402 00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:11,562 I'M A MONSTER. 403 00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:13,651 - THAT'S NOT TRUE. 404 00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:16,611 - JENNA. 405 00:15:16,611 --> 00:15:20,223 YOUR DAD DIDN'T STAY WITH ME FOR ME. 406 00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:21,703 HE STAYED FOR YOU. 407 00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:24,662 AND WHILE I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR MOTHER 408 00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:28,884 AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, 409 00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:32,670 YOU HAVE A CHOICE. 410 00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:37,414 YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOVE ME. 411 00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:40,200 - AGAIN, MY LIFE WAS FULL OF UNEXPECTED CHOICES. 412 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:44,073 CHOICES THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE. 413 00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:47,207 - YOU CAN HANDLE THIS WITH MEDICATION. 414 00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,426 - I DON'T WANT TO TAKE MEDICATION. 415 00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:52,081 I WANT TO WRING RICKY'S NECK. 416 00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:53,387 - AND YOU SHOULD. 417 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,215 A REAL MAN WOULD HAVE DISCLOSED. 418 00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,520 HE'S BRANDED YOU FOR LIFE. 419 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,739 - SO SHOULD I BREAK UP WITH HIM? 420 00:15:57,739 --> 00:15:59,001 - I DON'T KNOW. 421 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,264 WHO ELSE IS GONNA WANT YOU NOW? 422 00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:04,441 ACTUALLY, A LOT OF GUYS. 423 00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:06,052 ACCORDING TO THE COMMERCIALS, 424 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:06,574 ONE OUT OF EVERY FOUR. 425 00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:09,316 [phone rings] 426 00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:10,839 - IT'S MY DOCTOR. 427 00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,319 I'M TOO NERVOUS. ANSWER IT. 428 00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:13,798 [ringing continues] 429 00:16:13,798 --> 00:16:16,192 - HI! 430 00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:19,587 [deeper-voice] YES, THIS IS SADIE. 431 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,937 IT'S NOT HERPES. 432 00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,808 - SO IT'S NOTHING. 433 00:16:23,808 --> 00:16:25,636 - TOLD YOU SO. 434 00:16:25,636 --> 00:16:30,250 - I WAS JUST ABOUT TO BREAK UP WITH RICKY THANKS TO YOU. 435 00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:36,082 I'M GONNA GO BEFORE I WRING YOUR NECK. 436 00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:37,605 - DROPPED A NEW WORD TODAY. 437 00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:40,869 "ADORA-WHORE-ABLE." 438 00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,175 - ADORA-WHORE-ABLE? WHAT'S IT MEAN? 439 00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:42,871 - SLUTTY YET SWEET. 440 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,786 - YOU'VE HEARD IT? 441 00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:46,353 - UNFORTUNATELY. 442 00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:48,181 AMANDA SHILLINGFORD SAID IT IN REFERENCE TO ME 443 00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:49,747 ON MY WAY OUT OF GEOMETRY. 444 00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:52,620 - GOD, I'M SO ON FIRE! I'M TRENDSETTING. 445 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,926 - AND I'M TRENDING IN TWO CATEGORIES, 446 00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,493 HASHTAG JENNA-PICK-JAKE AND JENNA-PICK-MATTY. 447 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,713 - WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS? 448 00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,323 YOU NEED TO BREATHE. 449 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:03,761 AND THEN TELL US, WHO'S IT GONNA BE? 450 00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:06,242 - IS IT MATTY OR ME? - NO PRESSURE OR ANYTHING. 451 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:06,938 - I APPRECIATE THAT. 452 00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:09,115 - BUT WE NEED TO KNOW. 453 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:12,640 - AND SO DID EVERYONE ELSE. 454 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,511 I JUST--I CAN'T THINK LIKE THIS. 455 00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,992 - THEN DON'T. WE'LL DO IT FOR YOU. 456 00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,863 I CAN VOUCH FOR MATTY. 457 00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:21,257 HE'S A GOOD-LOOKING GUY WITH A GREAT HEAD OF HAIR 458 00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:22,258 AND A REALLY BIG HEART. 459 00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,304 - WOW. THAT MEANS A LOT, MAN. 460 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:25,305 AND SEE, IT'S THAT KIND OF THOUGHTFULNESS 461 00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:27,872 THAT MAKES JAKE THE BETTER CONTENDER. 462 00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,787 HE'S ABOUT THE BEST KIND OF FRIEND TO HAVE AROUND 463 00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:31,572 WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH. 464 00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:33,704 - WELL, YOU'RE NO SLOUCH IN THAT DEPARTMENT EITHER, MAN. 465 00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,184 - I DON'T KNOW, WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE WITHOUT YOU 466 00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:36,316 WHEN MY BROTHER WENT TO REHAB LAST YEAR? 467 00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,622 - AND WHEN MY MOM HAD THAT CANCER SCARE, 468 00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:39,797 YOU WERE RIGHT BY MY SIDE. 469 00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,277 - AND I'LL BE THERE AGAIN. 470 00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:45,760 - SO? 471 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,936 - I'VE MADE A DECISION. 472 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,069 YOU SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER. 473 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,983 [onlookers gasp] 474 00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,781 - IS MOM COMING TO DINNER? 475 00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:08,130 - SHE WENT TO BED. 476 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,045 - IT'S 6:00. 477 00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:11,002 - SHE'S HAD A ROUGH COUPLE OF DAYS, 478 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:14,005 AND SHE'S GONNA GET THROUGH IT. 479 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,399 - WITH YOU? 480 00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:18,706 - I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. 481 00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:27,932 - DID YOU ONLY STAY WITH MOM FOR ME? 482 00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:29,456 - YOUR MOM TELL YOU THAT? 483 00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:32,807 - YEAH. 484 00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:35,418 - UH, WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER, 485 00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:38,813 I DID AND SAID A LOT OF AWFUL THINGS TO HER, 486 00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:43,992 THINGS SHE'S FORGIVEN BUT CLEARLY HASN'T FORGOTTEN. 487 00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:47,430 I--I WASN'T ALWAYS THE BEST GUY. 488 00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:51,217 - LET'S BE REAL, 489 00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:52,131 SHE HASN'T ALWAYS BEEN THE BEST EITHER. 490 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,437 - NO, I KNOW. 491 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:56,135 BUT YOU'VE GOT TO CUT HER SOME SLACK. 492 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,573 BECAUSE WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS THAT I WASN'T ALWAYS AROUND 493 00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:02,010 AS MUCH AS I SHOULD HAVE BEEN. 494 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,273 AND WHEN I WAS, 495 00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:05,622 YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO HOLD YOU. 496 00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,972 - THAT'S NOT TRUE. 497 00:19:07,972 --> 00:19:09,887 YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD PUT ME TO SLEEP. 498 00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:10,410 - WITH YOUR MOM'S SONG. 499 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:14,240 SINGING THAT LULLABY 500 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,981 WAS THE ONLY WAY TO GET YOU TO CALM DOWN. 501 00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:21,160 SO YOUR MOM TAUGHT IT TO ME. 502 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,378 SHE WANTED ME TO BE YOUR HERO. 503 00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:25,425 - YOU ARE MY HERO, DAD. 504 00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:28,558 - AND YOUR MOM IS MINE. 505 00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:36,697 - IN AN UNEXPECTED TURN OF EVENTS, 506 00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:39,787 I WAS NEITHER A WINNER NOR A LOSER. 507 00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:40,396 I WAS A CHOOSER. 508 00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:42,311 BUT SOMEONE HAD TO WIN. 509 00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:44,139 SOMEONE HAD TO LOSE. 510 00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:45,923 AND I WAS STILL LEFT TO CHOOSE. 511 00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:47,403 IT WAS A BIG DECISION 512 00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:49,275 AND NOT AN EASY ONE TO MAKE. 513 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:50,493 [computer beeps] 514 00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:59,241 SO I HAD CHOSEN... 515 00:20:01,678 --> 00:20:04,246 MY MOM. 516 00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:11,775 ♪ SPECIAL WONDERFUL SURPRISE ♪ 517 00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:14,735 ♪ REST YOUR EYES 518 00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:18,129 ♪ REST YOUR EYES 519 00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:24,310 ♪ WHAT A BLESSING YOU WILL MAKE ♪ 520 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:27,051 both: ♪ WHEN YOU WAKE 521 00:20:27,051 --> 00:20:29,358 ♪ WHEN YOU WAKE 522 00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:34,711 ♪ STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL YOU'LL BE ♪ 523 00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,671 ♪ NEXT TO ME 524 00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:41,718 ♪ NEXT TO ME 36337

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