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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,588 --> 00:00:03,934 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:05,695 - JAKE SAID HE LOVED ME. - YOU LEFT JAKE HANGING? 3 00:00:05,695 --> 00:00:06,730 - YOU KNOW WHAT HER RESPONSE TO ME WAS? 4 00:00:06,730 --> 00:00:08,042 "AWESOME." - OOH. 5 00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:10,010 - WE KNOW YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH MATTY. 6 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,459 BUT WHEN DID YOU KNOW? - AFTER WE HAD SEX. 7 00:00:11,459 --> 00:00:13,254 - OKAY, YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH JAKE. 8 00:00:13,254 --> 00:00:15,463 THEN YOU'’LL KNOW. - IT'’LL BE WORTH THE WAIT. 9 00:00:15,463 --> 00:00:16,499 I PROMISE. 10 00:00:20,917 --> 00:00:22,263 - FROM AN EARLY AGE, I'’D BEEN PROGRAMMED 11 00:00:22,263 --> 00:00:23,644 TO DREAM ABOUT MY WEDDING-- 12 00:00:23,644 --> 00:00:24,783 WHAT I WOULD BE WEARING, 13 00:00:24,783 --> 00:00:26,888 WHO I WOULD BE MARRYING, AND... 14 00:00:26,888 --> 00:00:28,890 WHAT KIND OF DEBT I'’D BE INHERITING. 15 00:00:28,890 --> 00:00:30,616 '’CAUSE, LET'’S FACE IT, THE MATRIMONIAL BUSINESS 16 00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:32,066 WAS A RACKET, 17 00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:34,413 AND MY MOTHER WAS A SUCKER FOR A GOOD PARTY. 18 00:00:34,413 --> 00:00:37,278 I'’D BE PAYING THAT [bleep] OFF TILL I DIED. 19 00:00:37,278 --> 00:00:40,592 BUT IT WOULD BE WORTH IT, BECAUSE THE DAY WOULD BE... 20 00:00:40,592 --> 00:00:42,870 - CRAP! I FORGOT MY CUTLETS! 21 00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:44,285 - CONSIDERING ALLY'’S PAST, 22 00:00:44,285 --> 00:00:46,391 I NEVER EXPECTED HER TO BE A TRADITIONAL BRIDE. 23 00:00:46,391 --> 00:00:47,840 - FOUND '’EM. 24 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,153 - SHE WAS MORE THE DRIVE-THRU CHAPEL TYPE. 25 00:00:50,153 --> 00:00:52,535 - HOW MUCH YOU WANNA BET HER DRESS IS GONNA HAVE CUTOUTS? 26 00:00:52,535 --> 00:00:54,330 - [mouth full] 20 BUCKS. 27 00:00:54,330 --> 00:00:55,607 - 50. 28 00:00:55,607 --> 00:00:57,574 - IT'’S NOT GONNA BE OBSCENE. 29 00:00:57,574 --> 00:00:59,611 IT'’S GONNA BE SPANDEX. 30 00:00:59,611 --> 00:01:01,199 [all giggle] 31 00:01:01,199 --> 00:01:03,373 [romantic music] 32 00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:04,512 [all gasp] 33 00:01:04,512 --> 00:01:11,209 ♪ 34 00:01:11,209 --> 00:01:12,244 - YOU LOOK STUNNING. 35 00:01:12,244 --> 00:01:14,039 - AND YOU WILL TOO. 36 00:01:14,039 --> 00:01:16,869 BECAUSE... 37 00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:19,389 I BOUGHT YOU ALL YOUR DRESSES. 38 00:01:19,389 --> 00:01:20,528 - I LOVE IT. 39 00:01:20,528 --> 00:01:22,634 - I'’M NOT GONNA THROW UP. 40 00:01:22,634 --> 00:01:24,187 - YOU DID A GOOD JOB, AL. 41 00:01:24,187 --> 00:01:25,913 - ALLY HAD REALLY TURNED A CORNER. 42 00:01:25,913 --> 00:01:27,708 SHE SUDDENLY HAD STYLE, CLASS, 43 00:01:27,708 --> 00:01:28,950 AND GENEROUS SPIRIT. 44 00:01:28,950 --> 00:01:30,952 - I HAD YOUR DRESS SPECIALLY MADE. 45 00:01:30,952 --> 00:01:33,783 - I GUESS PEOPLE REALLY COULD ESCAPE THEIR PAST. 46 00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,718 - WHAT? YOU'’RE NOT A BRIDESMAID. 47 00:01:37,718 --> 00:01:39,133 YOU'’RE THE FLOWER BITCH. 48 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,584 - BUT CLEARLY, I COULDN'’T ESCAPE MINE. 49 00:01:41,584 --> 00:01:43,482 [typewriter clacking] 50 00:01:43,482 --> 00:01:45,105 [thud] 51 00:01:47,935 --> 00:01:49,902 - THERE HAS GOT TO BE A WAY TO TONE THIS DOWN. 52 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:52,802 SUGGESTIONS? - PUT ON A HAT. 53 00:01:52,802 --> 00:01:54,528 - WHAT'’S THAT GONNA DO? - HIDE YOUR FACE. 54 00:01:54,528 --> 00:01:55,805 OKAY, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE. 55 00:01:55,805 --> 00:01:57,324 YOU'’RE IN A WEDDING. 56 00:01:57,324 --> 00:01:59,947 IT'’S GONNA HAVE FULL BOOZE BARS AND DIRTY OLD MEN 57 00:01:59,947 --> 00:02:01,983 TO SNEAK YOU DRINKS. - NOBODY'’S GETTING ME A DRINK 58 00:02:01,983 --> 00:02:02,984 LOOKING LIKE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD. 59 00:02:02,984 --> 00:02:04,538 - EVERY FAMILY HAS A PERV. 60 00:02:04,538 --> 00:02:05,918 - AND, KNOWING ALLY, 61 00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:07,817 HER FAMILY WOULD HAVE MORE THAN ONE. 62 00:02:07,817 --> 00:02:10,337 - SO MY MOM'’S CRASHING AT THE HOTEL, 63 00:02:10,337 --> 00:02:12,304 WHICH MEANS TONIGHT IS GONNA BE THE NIGHT. 64 00:02:12,304 --> 00:02:15,135 - PROJECT BONE IS IN EFFECT? - YEP. 65 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,826 - WITH MY LIFETIME SUPPLY OF PROTECTION... 66 00:02:16,826 --> 00:02:18,172 I'’M READY. 67 00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:19,898 BUT MAYBE WE WON'’T DO IT HERE. 68 00:02:19,898 --> 00:02:21,520 I SHOULD PREPARE FOR SPONTANEITY. 69 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,350 WHERE AM I GONNA PUT THESE? 70 00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:24,523 MOM, I NEED A PURSE. 71 00:02:24,523 --> 00:02:26,732 - LOOK AT THE ONES ON MY BED. 72 00:02:26,732 --> 00:02:29,287 - YOUR BAD TAN LINES ARE LIFTING. 73 00:02:29,287 --> 00:02:30,978 - I KNEW THAT MORON AT THE SALON 74 00:02:30,978 --> 00:02:32,255 USED THE WRONG SKIN TONER. 75 00:02:32,255 --> 00:02:34,361 LIL'’ BITCH, GET ME MY SIPPY CUP. 76 00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:35,431 - SIPPY CUP? 77 00:02:35,431 --> 00:02:38,434 - I NEED MY JUICE! 78 00:02:38,434 --> 00:02:39,883 - AND A CHEESEBURGER. 79 00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:42,162 ALLY HAD BEEN ON A CLEANSE FOR OVER A MONTH, 80 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,129 WHICH HAD TAKEN HER FROM BRIDEZILLA 81 00:02:44,129 --> 00:02:45,234 TO BRIDESASTER. 82 00:02:48,375 --> 00:02:49,583 - I'’M GETTING NERVOUS. 83 00:02:49,583 --> 00:02:51,792 - WHY? - IT'’S MY BIG DAY. 84 00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,690 - WELL, I'’M HOPING THAT THE WEDDING 85 00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:56,037 WILL REKINDLE SOMETHING WITH KEVIN, 86 00:02:56,037 --> 00:02:58,730 WHICH IS WHY I GOT A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT. 87 00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:00,835 HE IS A SUCKER FOR HOTEL SEX. 88 00:03:00,835 --> 00:03:01,974 [giggles] 89 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:05,323 - LACE, PUT THE FAN DOWN. 90 00:03:05,323 --> 00:03:08,257 KEVIN'’S NOT COMING. HE R.S.V.P.'’d WITH REGRETS. 91 00:03:08,257 --> 00:03:10,880 - REGRETS? WHAT KIND OF REGRETS. 92 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,400 - THE WEDDING KIND. FRICKIN'’ RELAX. 93 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,885 '’CAUSE GUESS WHO'’S SINGLE, HOT, 94 00:03:15,885 --> 00:03:18,991 AND STILL HUNG UP ON YOU. 95 00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:20,338 [whispers] BEN'’S COMING. 96 00:03:20,338 --> 00:03:21,477 - MY BEN? 97 00:03:21,477 --> 00:03:22,788 - WHO'’S BEN? 98 00:03:22,788 --> 00:03:24,376 - DID SHE JUST SAY "MY BEN"? 99 00:03:24,376 --> 00:03:25,688 MOM, WHY IS HE YOUR BEN? 100 00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:28,760 - DAMN...I HAVEN'’T SEEN HIM IN, LIKE-- 101 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,072 - 15 YEARS. - YEAH! 102 00:03:31,072 --> 00:03:34,559 NOT SINCE AFTER-- AFTER JENNA WAS BORN. 103 00:03:34,559 --> 00:03:36,664 IS HE STILL FUNNY? 104 00:03:36,664 --> 00:03:38,701 - OHH. FUNNIER. 105 00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:39,909 - WITH MY DAD OUT OF THE PICTURE 106 00:03:39,909 --> 00:03:41,738 AND MY MOM IN A VULNERABLE PLACE, 107 00:03:41,738 --> 00:03:43,119 SUDDENLY A HOTEL ROOM OUT OF MY SIGHT 108 00:03:43,119 --> 00:03:44,534 DIDN'’T SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA. 109 00:03:44,534 --> 00:03:47,088 I NEEDED SOME CLARITY ON THE BEN SITCH. 110 00:03:47,088 --> 00:03:49,401 MOM, ANSWER ME. WHO IS BEN? 111 00:03:49,401 --> 00:03:51,058 - LIL'’ BITCH, WHY DO YOU NEED A PURSE? 112 00:03:51,058 --> 00:03:52,749 YOU'’RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A BASKET--WHERE IS IT? 113 00:03:52,749 --> 00:03:54,475 - DON'’T KNOW. 114 00:03:54,475 --> 00:03:56,650 - [screams] EMILY! 115 00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:59,791 WHERE'’S THE FLOWER BASKET? 116 00:03:59,791 --> 00:04:01,310 - IT'’S...HERE. 117 00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:03,415 LET'’S SEE, WE HAVE SOMETHING OLD, 118 00:04:03,415 --> 00:04:05,831 SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED, 119 00:04:05,831 --> 00:04:07,523 AND BLUE. - AND--AND BASKET. 120 00:04:07,523 --> 00:04:09,421 I DON'’T SEE A BASKET. 121 00:04:09,421 --> 00:04:11,216 - THAT WAS ON YOUR LIST! 122 00:04:11,216 --> 00:04:12,666 - DON'’T WORRY, WE'’RE GONNA... 123 00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:13,701 FIGURE THIS OUT. 124 00:04:13,701 --> 00:04:14,978 AND WE'’LL BE RIGHT BACK. 125 00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:19,811 - I CAN'’T HAVE A WEDDING WITHOUT A BASKET. 126 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,471 - TAKE THIS! 127 00:04:24,471 --> 00:04:26,611 SEE? BIG FLOWER BITCH. 128 00:04:26,611 --> 00:04:28,198 BIG BASKET! 129 00:04:28,198 --> 00:04:29,510 - THAT IS NOT GONNA WORK! 130 00:04:31,374 --> 00:04:32,651 [slurping] 131 00:04:32,651 --> 00:04:34,446 - MOM, WHO IS BEN? 132 00:04:34,446 --> 00:04:37,277 - SO WE HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A GLITCH. 133 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,383 NOTHING TOO MAJOR, BUT MY ASSISTANT JUST QUIT. 134 00:04:40,383 --> 00:04:43,628 DON'’T FRET, I'’M GONNA FIND SOMEONE TO HELP. 135 00:04:43,628 --> 00:04:44,905 I HOPE. 136 00:04:44,905 --> 00:04:46,286 - TAMARA CAN ASSIST YOU. 137 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,011 - WHAT? WHY ME? 138 00:04:48,011 --> 00:04:49,944 - BECAUSE I CAN'’T GET THROUGH THIS DAY ALONE. 139 00:04:49,944 --> 00:04:51,463 - I PAY CASH! 140 00:04:51,463 --> 00:04:52,637 - I AM YOUR SLAVE. 141 00:04:52,637 --> 00:04:53,810 - OHH. 142 00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:55,087 - WHOA. 143 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,813 - EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL. 144 00:04:56,813 --> 00:04:58,056 THEY'’RE GONNA GET ME A BASKET, 145 00:04:58,056 --> 00:04:59,816 AND YOU DON'’T NEED TO IMPLODE. 146 00:04:59,816 --> 00:05:01,991 - IMPLODE? 147 00:05:01,991 --> 00:05:04,752 ALL I ASKED WAS FOR YOU TO DO ONE THING. 148 00:05:04,752 --> 00:05:06,616 HOLD A FRICKIN'’ BASKET! 149 00:05:06,616 --> 00:05:08,377 YOU ARE RUINING MY WEDDING 150 00:05:08,377 --> 00:05:11,552 JUST LIKE YOU RUINED MY LIFE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN. 151 00:05:11,552 --> 00:05:14,590 - APPARENTLY, ALLY COULDN'’T GET PAST THE PAST. 152 00:05:14,590 --> 00:05:15,798 AND I WAS DONE. 153 00:05:15,798 --> 00:05:17,696 - YOU JUST LOST YOUR FLOWER BITCH. 154 00:05:17,696 --> 00:05:19,388 - GOOD. 155 00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:20,250 - GIRLS, PLEASE. 156 00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,769 LET'’S NOT GET CRAZY. 157 00:05:21,769 --> 00:05:23,495 OKAY, WE'’RE ALREADY THERE. 158 00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,811 [dialing] 159 00:05:28,811 --> 00:05:31,400 [cell phone rings] 160 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,229 - HEY, BABE, JUST BORROWING A SUIT AND I'’LL BE ON MY WAY. 161 00:05:33,229 --> 00:05:34,713 - FORGET THE SUIT. I QUIT. 162 00:05:34,713 --> 00:05:36,336 - [snickering] QUIT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU QUIT? 163 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,199 - THE WEDDING. - THERE'’S BASKETS EVERYWHERE! 164 00:05:38,199 --> 00:05:39,925 - WE WILL FIND-- - I JUST WANTED TO MARRY... 165 00:05:39,925 --> 00:05:42,928 - ALLY'’S LOST HALF HER BODY WEIGHT, ALONG WITH HER SANITY. 166 00:05:42,928 --> 00:05:44,861 WE'’RE GONNA DO SOMETHING FUN INSTEAD. 167 00:05:44,861 --> 00:05:46,276 MY MOM'’S STAYING AT THE HOTEL, 168 00:05:46,276 --> 00:05:48,658 SO WE'’VE GOT THE PLACE TO OURSELVES. 169 00:05:48,658 --> 00:05:50,867 - ARE YOU SUGGESTING WHAT I THINK YOU'’RE SUGGESTING? 170 00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:52,697 - OH, I DON'’T KNOW. 171 00:05:52,697 --> 00:05:54,802 BUT IF YOU HAVE A DIRTY MIND, YOU'’LL MEET ME HERE AROUND 5:00. 172 00:05:54,802 --> 00:05:56,528 - I'’LL BE THERE AT 4:59. 173 00:05:58,012 --> 00:05:59,635 - ALLY! ALLY! 174 00:05:59,635 --> 00:06:01,844 - CHANGE OF PLANS, DUDE. I DON'’T NEED A SUIT. 175 00:06:01,844 --> 00:06:04,156 - GOOD THING, '’CAUSE THIS MIGHT BE CURSED. 176 00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:06,573 [snickers] LAST TIME I WORE IT WAS TO THE FORMAL. 177 00:06:06,573 --> 00:06:09,161 - RIGHT...WHEN YOU GOT DISSED BY THAT GIRL 178 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:10,956 WITH THAT OTHER GUY-- I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. 179 00:06:10,956 --> 00:06:12,233 HEY, WHO WAS THAT, ANYWAY? 180 00:06:12,233 --> 00:06:17,066 [cell phone playing jingle] 181 00:06:18,550 --> 00:06:21,001 - COURTNEY? DON'’T YOU WANNA GET IT? 182 00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:22,209 - NOT WITH YOU HERE. 183 00:06:22,209 --> 00:06:23,521 - UH, OH, HEY, IT'’S MATTY. 184 00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:24,901 I BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL DAY, 185 00:06:24,901 --> 00:06:26,316 WRITING IN MY DIARY. - HI. 186 00:06:26,316 --> 00:06:29,078 YEAH? CAN I CALL YOU BACK? - [kissing noises] 187 00:06:29,078 --> 00:06:30,148 - COURTNEY. - YEAH, UH-HUH. 188 00:06:30,148 --> 00:06:31,598 I'’LL SEE YOU TONIGHT. 189 00:06:31,598 --> 00:06:32,875 DUDE, REALLY FUNNY. 190 00:06:32,875 --> 00:06:34,911 - SO WHAT'’S UP WITH YOU TWO, ANYWAY? 191 00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:36,844 - EH...SHE'’S COOL. 192 00:06:36,844 --> 00:06:39,744 - AS IN...GIRLFRIEND COOL? 193 00:06:39,744 --> 00:06:41,470 - I'’M FEELING IT OUT, YEAH. 194 00:06:41,470 --> 00:06:43,782 - WELL, I'’M GLAD YOU'’RE FINALLY OVER THAT CHICK FROM CAMP. 195 00:06:43,782 --> 00:06:45,819 - YEAH, I'’M READY TO MOVE ON. 196 00:06:45,819 --> 00:06:47,268 - I CAN'’T MOVE ON. 197 00:06:47,268 --> 00:06:49,339 ALLY'’S ALWAYS HOLDING MY BIRTH AGAINST ME, 198 00:06:49,339 --> 00:06:50,720 LIKE I HAD SOME CHOICE IN THE MATTER. 199 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,998 I HATE HER. - THEN WHY ARE YOU HELPING ME? 200 00:06:52,998 --> 00:06:54,862 - BECAUSE I'’M A NICE PERSON! 201 00:06:54,862 --> 00:06:56,519 [gasps] HIDE IT. 202 00:06:56,519 --> 00:06:58,935 NOW THAT I'’M OUT, I DON'’T WANT A WAY BACK IN. 203 00:06:58,935 --> 00:07:00,627 - NO, YOU ARE. 204 00:07:00,627 --> 00:07:02,974 [giggling] NO, YOU. 205 00:07:02,974 --> 00:07:04,769 RICKY, SHUT IT. I GOTTA GO. 206 00:07:04,769 --> 00:07:06,011 WHERE CAN I GET READY? 207 00:07:06,011 --> 00:07:07,565 - BY THE DUMPSTER. - THAT'’S SWEET, 208 00:07:07,565 --> 00:07:10,395 BUT I DON'’T HAVE TIME FOR A TOUR OF YOUR HOME. 209 00:07:10,395 --> 00:07:12,224 - GUEST BATH IS THROUGH THE KITCHEN. 210 00:07:13,881 --> 00:07:15,365 - I CAN'’T DO THIS. 211 00:07:15,365 --> 00:07:17,022 I CAN'’T WORK A WEDDING WHILE SADIE AND RICKY 212 00:07:17,022 --> 00:07:18,438 GNAW ON EACH OTHER. 213 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,509 I'’M INTO PORN, BUT NOT THE TORTURE KIND. 214 00:07:20,509 --> 00:07:22,787 - RICKY'’S WITH SADIE. HE'’S THE ONE BEING TORTURED. 215 00:07:22,787 --> 00:07:23,960 - TRUE. 216 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,790 RICKY HAS A SADIE. 217 00:07:25,790 --> 00:07:26,825 - [gasps] 218 00:07:26,825 --> 00:07:28,551 BEN IS COMING! 219 00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:30,691 - MY MOM HAS A BEN. WHO THE HELL IS BEN? 220 00:07:30,691 --> 00:07:33,211 - HE'’S THE GUY YOUR MOM SHOULD HAVE MARRIED. 221 00:07:34,971 --> 00:07:38,043 - SO FAR, THERE WERE NO BENS IN MY MOM'’S FRESHMAN CLASS. 222 00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:39,666 MAYBE HE'’S OLDER? 223 00:07:39,666 --> 00:07:42,151 - JESUS, YOUR MOM DOCUMENTED EVERY MOMENT OF HIGH SCHOOL, 224 00:07:42,151 --> 00:07:44,533 LIKE IT WAS THE BEST TIME OF HER LIFE. 225 00:07:44,533 --> 00:07:45,982 - IT WAS. 226 00:07:45,982 --> 00:07:47,570 both: SAD. 227 00:07:48,882 --> 00:07:52,610 LODE TO THE MOTHER. I STRUCK SCRUNCHIES. 228 00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:54,439 - BEN AND MY MOM WERE DEFINITELY A COUPLE. 229 00:07:54,439 --> 00:07:57,235 MAYBE THIS IS THE GUY SHE SLEPT WITH BEFORE MY DAD. 230 00:07:57,235 --> 00:07:59,479 - RED FLAG: SEE HIS SKIN? OILY. 231 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,653 ODDS ARE, HE'’S NOW BALD AND FAT. 232 00:08:04,069 --> 00:08:06,589 - THEY WENT TO A COSTUME PARTY? 233 00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:09,005 SOMETHING CALLED "KID N PLAY"? 234 00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:10,144 WHAT IS THAT? 235 00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:11,663 - NOT A THREAT. 236 00:08:11,663 --> 00:08:13,769 BEN'’S DEFINITELY NOT GONNA OUT-HOT YOUR POP. 237 00:08:13,769 --> 00:08:16,219 - KID! - PLAY! 238 00:08:20,603 --> 00:08:21,708 - THREAT ALERT. 239 00:08:21,708 --> 00:08:23,261 - T, GET ME THAT BASKET. 240 00:08:27,437 --> 00:08:29,163 - YOU SMELL SO GOOD. 241 00:08:29,163 --> 00:08:30,233 ARE YOU STILL USING... 242 00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:31,649 both: COCONUT BODY WASH. 243 00:08:31,649 --> 00:08:32,960 - YEAH. [both laugh] 244 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,237 - [forced laugh] 245 00:08:34,237 --> 00:08:35,722 REUNION'’S OVER. OH, HI. 246 00:08:35,722 --> 00:08:38,828 LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT THAT NASTY SKIN CONDITION CLEARED UP. 247 00:08:38,828 --> 00:08:39,657 - JENNA! 248 00:08:39,657 --> 00:08:41,521 BEN, I AM SO SORRY. 249 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,557 SHE IS NOT USUALLY THIS RUDE. 250 00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,594 - AH, IT'’S OKAY. SHE'’S SPUNKY. 251 00:08:45,594 --> 00:08:47,181 SHE TAKES AFTER HER MOM. 252 00:08:47,181 --> 00:08:49,459 - [chuckles] - SOUNDED LIKE A COMPLIMENT, 253 00:08:49,459 --> 00:08:52,048 BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT ALL THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT ME 254 00:08:52,048 --> 00:08:53,774 ARE DIRECTLY RELATED TO MY DAD, 255 00:08:53,774 --> 00:08:55,638 WHO, FOR THE RECORD, IS STILL MARRIED TO MY MOM. 256 00:08:55,638 --> 00:08:58,330 - [laughs] - SO...WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 257 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,505 - UH, ALLY WANTED ME TO GIVE YOU ALL A RIDE 258 00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:01,782 OVER TO THE CEREMONY. 259 00:09:01,782 --> 00:09:03,508 - OH, DID SHE? - YEAH, SHE DID. 260 00:09:03,508 --> 00:09:04,751 - [laughs] 261 00:09:04,751 --> 00:09:05,752 - GOOD NEWS, MOM. 262 00:09:05,752 --> 00:09:07,167 WE FOUND THE BASKET. 263 00:09:07,167 --> 00:09:08,375 BACK IN THE WEDDING! 264 00:09:08,375 --> 00:09:10,619 - THAT IS SO GREAT, SWEETIE. 265 00:09:10,619 --> 00:09:11,827 - [snaps fingers] 266 00:09:11,827 --> 00:09:13,518 WE NEED TO FINISH GETTING READY. 267 00:09:13,518 --> 00:09:16,038 - OH! WELL, BEN, WHY DON'’T YOU WAIT IN THE LIVING ROOM? 268 00:09:16,038 --> 00:09:18,765 - OR THE CAR. 269 00:09:18,765 --> 00:09:21,906 - I W--I WILL GO WAIT IN THE CAR. 270 00:09:21,906 --> 00:09:23,632 - OKAY. 271 00:09:23,632 --> 00:09:24,771 - AHEM. 272 00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:29,327 - WHAT WAS THAT? 273 00:09:29,327 --> 00:09:30,639 - WAS I FRAZZLED? 274 00:09:30,639 --> 00:09:32,537 I FELT FRAZZLED. 275 00:09:32,537 --> 00:09:35,229 I HAVEN'’T SEEN HIM IN... 276 00:09:35,229 --> 00:09:36,783 both: 15 YEARS. 277 00:09:36,783 --> 00:09:39,095 - I FORGOT HOW HANDSOME HE IS. 278 00:09:39,095 --> 00:09:41,235 AND THOSE EYES. 279 00:09:41,235 --> 00:09:46,378 WHAT HE COULD MAKE ME DO JUST BY LOOKING A-- 280 00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:48,553 NO WONDER I FELT FRAZZLED! 281 00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:51,211 I LOOKFRAZZLED! WHY DIDN'’T YOU SAY SOMETHING? 282 00:09:51,211 --> 00:09:53,006 - WELL, IT WAS A LITTLE HARD TO GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE 283 00:09:53,006 --> 00:09:55,698 BETWEEN HIS STARE AND YOUR DROOL. 284 00:09:55,698 --> 00:09:56,734 WHO IS THIS BEN GUY? 285 00:09:56,734 --> 00:09:58,598 - HE'’S MY EX-BOYFRIEND. 286 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,876 - THE ONE WHO SWIPED YOUR V-CARD? 287 00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:02,532 - WELL, I WOULDN'’T PUT IT LIKE THAT, 288 00:10:02,532 --> 00:10:04,500 BUT, YES. 289 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,260 THANK GOD FOR THE GIRLS. 290 00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:07,883 AT LEAST THEY WERE IN GOOD FORM. 291 00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:09,539 SHOOT! I HAVE TO GET READY. 292 00:10:09,539 --> 00:10:13,164 OH, I CAN'’T BELIEVE HE SAW ME LOOKING LIKE SUCH A MESS! 293 00:10:13,164 --> 00:10:14,303 OHH! 294 00:10:14,303 --> 00:10:15,787 - THIS IS NOT GOOD. - NO JOKE. 295 00:10:15,787 --> 00:10:16,995 BEN'’S YOUR MOM'’S MATTY. 296 00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:18,307 - TAMARA HAD CONNECTED THE DOTS. 297 00:10:18,307 --> 00:10:19,895 BEN WAS HOT, HOVERING, AND WAITING 298 00:10:19,895 --> 00:10:21,655 TO GIVE MY MOTHER A RIDE, AGAIN. 299 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,623 IF HE WAS MY MOM'’S MATTY, THEN I WAS IN TROUBLE, 300 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,176 AND SO WAS MY DAD. 301 00:10:25,176 --> 00:10:26,867 DAD, IT DOESN'’T MATTER WHAT YOU'’RE DOING. 302 00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:28,524 DROP IT AND CALL ME BACK. 303 00:10:28,524 --> 00:10:31,561 IT'’S AN-- - EMERGENCY! 304 00:10:31,561 --> 00:10:33,805 MY WATER JUST BROKE. 305 00:10:33,805 --> 00:10:35,496 [car engine starts] - CRAP...BALLS! 306 00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:37,740 DAMN IT! [bleep] ME! 307 00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:39,500 NOW I HAVE ONE MORE THING TO WORRY ABOUT. 308 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,019 - YOU KNOW, MONICA'’S GONNA BE FINE. 309 00:10:41,019 --> 00:10:42,331 SHE'’S ON HER WAY TO THE HOSPITAL. 310 00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:43,815 - I'’M NOT TALKING ABOUT MONICA. 311 00:10:43,815 --> 00:10:46,784 NOW, I HAVE A HOLE IN MY BRIDAL PARTY. 312 00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:48,199 - JENNA CAN DO IT! - NO. 313 00:10:48,199 --> 00:10:50,063 LIL'’ BITCH NEEDS TO THROW THE FLOWERS. 314 00:10:50,063 --> 00:10:52,237 I HAVE TO HAVE ONE MORE BRIDESMAID. 315 00:10:52,237 --> 00:10:55,102 - WHAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE IS A DETOX FROM THE CRACK PIPE. 316 00:10:55,102 --> 00:10:57,829 NO ONE IS GONNA BE AVAILABLE AT THE LAST MINUTE 317 00:10:57,829 --> 00:10:59,244 ON A SATURDAY. 318 00:10:59,244 --> 00:11:00,694 - I LOVE IT! 319 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,178 IT'’S SO BLOUSY. 320 00:11:02,178 --> 00:11:04,594 NOW I CAN HIT THE OL'’ BUFFET EXTRA HARD. 321 00:11:04,594 --> 00:11:06,769 - [giggles] THANK YOU SO MUCH 322 00:11:06,769 --> 00:11:08,115 FOR DOING THIS. 323 00:11:08,115 --> 00:11:09,047 - AH, OF COURSE. 324 00:11:09,047 --> 00:11:10,670 - LACEY! 325 00:11:13,327 --> 00:11:15,467 - I NEED A FAVOR. - I'’M HERE FOR YOU. 326 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:17,366 - MY DAD ISN'’T HERE, BUT MY MOM'’S EX IS. 327 00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:19,023 HE'’S STILL HOT FOR HER. 328 00:11:19,023 --> 00:11:20,472 SINCE MY MOM'’S AN EMOTIONAL HOT MESS, 329 00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:21,750 I THINK SHE MIGHT BE AN EASY TARGET TONIGHT. 330 00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:23,130 GET MY DRIFT? 331 00:11:23,130 --> 00:11:24,684 - YOU WANT ME TO KEEP THE DUDE DISTRACTED 332 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,238 SO YOUR MOM DOESN'’T FEEL THE NEED TO REVISIT HISTORY. 333 00:11:27,238 --> 00:11:29,654 - EXACTLY. - I DON'’T KNOW. 334 00:11:29,654 --> 00:11:31,104 - PLEASE? 335 00:11:31,104 --> 00:11:32,277 - UGH. 336 00:11:32,277 --> 00:11:33,451 LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU, J. 337 00:11:33,451 --> 00:11:34,866 I'’M IN A RELATIONSHIP. 338 00:11:34,866 --> 00:11:37,041 OKAY? AND IN THIS BAD-ASS DRESS, 339 00:11:37,041 --> 00:11:39,181 I MIGHT HAVE A HARD TIME KEEPING HIS PAWS OFF ME. 340 00:11:39,181 --> 00:11:42,184 GOD FORBID HE HIT MY SWEET SPOT... 341 00:11:42,184 --> 00:11:43,530 UNH! 342 00:11:43,530 --> 00:11:45,843 I CAN'’T GUARANTEE I CAN KEEP VIXEN VAL 343 00:11:45,843 --> 00:11:47,085 FROM STEPPING OUT ON HER MAN. 344 00:11:47,085 --> 00:11:49,260 - I WILL BUY YOU A CAT. 345 00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:50,261 PERSIAN? 346 00:11:50,261 --> 00:11:52,159 - FERAL. I LIKE TO RESCUE. 347 00:11:52,159 --> 00:11:53,816 - BITCH? 348 00:11:55,542 --> 00:11:56,785 - IT'’S LIL'’ BITCH. 349 00:11:56,785 --> 00:11:58,096 - BITCH. 350 00:11:58,096 --> 00:11:59,857 CRAZYTOWN 80 POUNDS WANTS US TO WEAR 351 00:11:59,857 --> 00:12:01,306 OUR HAIR IN DOUBLE BUNS. 352 00:12:01,306 --> 00:12:03,032 THIS IS NOT GONNA WORK FOR ME 353 00:12:03,032 --> 00:12:05,621 AND DEFINITELY NOT FOR YOU AND YOUR BIG LOVEHAIR. 354 00:12:05,621 --> 00:12:07,347 CAN YOU REASON WITH HER? 355 00:12:07,347 --> 00:12:10,660 - [giggles] NO. DO WHAT SHE WANTS. 356 00:12:10,660 --> 00:12:13,111 - AS EXPECTED, YOU'’RE USELESS. 357 00:12:13,111 --> 00:12:16,218 I'’LL HANDLE IT. YOU'’RE WELCOME. 358 00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:19,290 LISTEN, AUNTIE ATTITUDE, 359 00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:21,430 I APPRECIATE THAT THIS IS YOUR DAY, 360 00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:23,087 BUT I'’M AT MY LIMIT OF CONCESSIONS. 361 00:12:23,087 --> 00:12:24,674 I'’M NOT GONNA SUCCUMB TO SOME 362 00:12:24,674 --> 00:12:26,400 FUGTASTIC FIGURE-SKATER STYLE 363 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:27,436 BECAUSE YOU-- 364 00:12:27,436 --> 00:12:31,992 - BECAUSE...I...WHAT? 365 00:12:32,924 --> 00:12:34,581 - I HATE HER. 366 00:12:34,581 --> 00:12:36,272 - WELL, WELCOME TO THE CLUB. 367 00:12:38,516 --> 00:12:40,829 - YOUR DAD JUST CALLED AND SAID THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY. 368 00:12:40,829 --> 00:12:42,589 WHAT'’S WRONG? - BEN! 369 00:12:42,589 --> 00:12:44,246 I SAW THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT EACH OTHER. 370 00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:46,075 NEED A REMINDER OF THE VOW YOU TOOK? 371 00:12:46,075 --> 00:12:48,250 - HONEY, WE'’RE OLD FRIENDS. THAT'’S IT. 372 00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:49,699 SO THERE'’S NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT 373 00:12:49,699 --> 00:12:51,840 HOW RIDICULOUSLY HOT HE IS. 374 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,013 - MOM! 375 00:12:53,013 --> 00:12:55,188 - LADIES, FINAL TOUCHES. 376 00:12:55,188 --> 00:12:57,604 AND YOU HAVE A SPECIAL VISITOR. 377 00:12:57,604 --> 00:13:00,193 [romantic music] 378 00:13:00,193 --> 00:13:02,989 - HEY...WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 379 00:13:02,989 --> 00:13:06,199 - I, UH, BROUGHT JAKE MY SUIT. 380 00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:07,096 YEAH. 381 00:13:07,096 --> 00:13:08,270 - ♪ FOLLOW ME AROUND 382 00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:10,893 - UH, HE SHOULD BE ON HIS WAY. 383 00:13:10,893 --> 00:13:12,757 SO THE WEDDING'’S BACK ON. 384 00:13:12,757 --> 00:13:13,965 - IT WAS NEVER OFF. 385 00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:17,210 I JUST HAD A MOMENTARY FREAK-OUT. 386 00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:18,936 - WELL, YOU LOOK GOOD NOW. 387 00:13:18,936 --> 00:13:20,454 - I LOOK LIKE A CREAM PUFF. 388 00:13:20,454 --> 00:13:21,524 - [laughs] 389 00:13:21,524 --> 00:13:22,663 - HEY, I'’M HERE. 390 00:13:22,663 --> 00:13:23,699 I'’M HERE. HI. 391 00:13:23,699 --> 00:13:25,045 HI. 392 00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:26,564 WHERE CAN I CHANGE? 393 00:13:26,564 --> 00:13:27,979 - UH, THERE'’S A ROOM DOWN THE HALL. 394 00:13:27,979 --> 00:13:29,049 - GREAT. THANKS, MAN. 395 00:13:29,049 --> 00:13:30,464 YOU'’RE THE BEST. 396 00:13:30,464 --> 00:13:33,605 OH...HAVE FUN TONIGHT WITH COURTNEY. 397 00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:36,436 DO SOMETHING I WOULD DEFINITELY DO, HUH? 398 00:13:36,436 --> 00:13:39,335 - THEN I GUESS I'’M IN FOR A DULL EVENING. 399 00:13:39,335 --> 00:13:40,854 - HILARIOUS! 400 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,994 - ♪ YOU'’RE THE ONLY ONE ♪ 401 00:13:42,994 --> 00:13:44,237 - EVERYTHING GOOD? 402 00:13:44,237 --> 00:13:45,997 - YEAH. THANKS FOR BRINGING THE SUIT. 403 00:13:45,997 --> 00:13:47,827 - OH, IT'’S WHAT I DO. I PROBLEM SOLVE. 404 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,001 AND SINCE THE PROBLEM IS SOLVED, 405 00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:52,038 I GUESS I BETTER HEAD OUT. 406 00:13:52,038 --> 00:13:54,143 - ♪ ALL THAT I WANT 407 00:13:54,143 --> 00:13:55,627 - YOU GUYS LOOK GOOD TOGETHER. 408 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,008 - YOU THINK SO? 409 00:13:57,008 --> 00:13:59,010 - YEAH, AND I'’M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU. 410 00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:01,979 EVEN IF IT DOES STING A LITTLE. 411 00:14:03,221 --> 00:14:05,430 - SO HOW'’S COURTNEY? - GREAT. 412 00:14:05,430 --> 00:14:06,949 YEAH, SHE'’S-- SHE'’S GREAT. 413 00:14:06,949 --> 00:14:07,950 REALLY GREAT. 414 00:14:07,950 --> 00:14:09,572 - THANKS FOR ASKING. 415 00:14:09,572 --> 00:14:12,817 - MATTY... 416 00:14:12,817 --> 00:14:15,544 IT STILL STINGS A LITTLE FOR ME TOO. 417 00:14:15,544 --> 00:14:18,064 MATTY AND I FINALLY HAD CLOSURE. 418 00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:19,686 AND WHILE IT WAS BITTERSWEET, 419 00:14:19,686 --> 00:14:22,033 WE WERE ROOTING FOR EACH OTHER. 420 00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,448 SO WHAT WAS I WORRIED ABOUT WITH BEN? 421 00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:25,588 - WELL, LACEY LOOKS REALLY GOOD. 422 00:14:25,588 --> 00:14:27,107 AND SHE'’S SEPARATED. 423 00:14:27,107 --> 00:14:29,627 I THINK TONIGHT MIGHT BE MY CHANCE TO MAKE UP 424 00:14:29,627 --> 00:14:32,457 FOR SOME LOST TIME. 425 00:14:32,457 --> 00:14:34,908 - WHERE'’S THE FLOWER BITCH?! 426 00:14:41,052 --> 00:14:43,365 [cheers and applause] 427 00:14:43,365 --> 00:14:45,332 - THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG NIGHT. 428 00:14:45,332 --> 00:14:46,506 - CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK? 429 00:14:46,506 --> 00:14:48,094 - YES, PREFERABLY WITH SOME KICK. 430 00:14:48,094 --> 00:14:49,302 - [chuckles] 431 00:14:49,302 --> 00:14:51,407 OH! MRS. HAMILTON. COCKTAIL? 432 00:14:51,407 --> 00:14:53,133 - SHE'’LL HAVE A SODA. 433 00:14:53,133 --> 00:14:54,894 [light classical music] 434 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,965 - HONEY, I DO NOT NEED A CHAPERONE. 435 00:14:56,965 --> 00:14:59,139 - MM, BUT THAT'’S THE THING-- YOU DO. 436 00:14:59,139 --> 00:15:01,210 - IF IT ISN'’T THE BEAUTIFUL HAMILTON SISTERS. 437 00:15:01,210 --> 00:15:02,591 [chuckling] 438 00:15:02,591 --> 00:15:04,973 - GROSS. BEN'’S TACTICS WERE TACKY. 439 00:15:04,973 --> 00:15:07,078 BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, SO WAS MY MOTHER. 440 00:15:07,078 --> 00:15:08,562 SO THEY WERE WORKING. 441 00:15:08,562 --> 00:15:11,289 - STILL THE CHARMER. 442 00:15:11,289 --> 00:15:13,705 - OH! YOU DON'’T WANNA DO SOMETHING YOU'’LL REGRET. 443 00:15:15,535 --> 00:15:17,123 - I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. 444 00:15:17,123 --> 00:15:19,263 EMILY IS SO FAR UP MY BUTT, I COULD TASTE HER, 445 00:15:19,263 --> 00:15:20,678 AND IF THAT WASN'’T CRAPTASTIC ENOUGH, 446 00:15:20,678 --> 00:15:22,197 I CAN'’T ESCAPE SADIE AND RICKY! 447 00:15:22,197 --> 00:15:25,131 THEY'’VE BEEN RAPING EACH OTHER'’S FACES ALL NIGHT. 448 00:15:28,134 --> 00:15:31,482 I'’M GONNA CRACK, JENNA. I AM SERIOUSLY GONNA... 449 00:15:33,484 --> 00:15:35,520 MOVE THE WEDDING CAKE. 450 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,005 YOU OWE ME. - AND I DID. 451 00:15:37,005 --> 00:15:40,008 TAMARA HAD SINGLEHANDEDLY SAVED MY SANITY ALL DAY, 452 00:15:40,008 --> 00:15:42,320 AND I NEEDED TO RETURN THE FAVOR. 453 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,563 IF SHE COULDN'’T ESCAPE HER PAST, 454 00:15:43,563 --> 00:15:46,600 THEN I WOULD RECOUNT IT. 455 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,464 - DOLL FACE, YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN 456 00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:49,983 IN THIS ROOM. 457 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,260 - AND... 458 00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:53,469 - AND I LOVE YOUR FULL LIPS. 459 00:15:53,469 --> 00:15:56,369 AND YOUR FULL FACE. 460 00:15:56,369 --> 00:15:57,542 AND YOUR FULL A-- 461 00:15:57,542 --> 00:15:59,130 - WATCH IT. 462 00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,237 - MIND IF I STEAL HER FOR A SECOND? 463 00:16:02,237 --> 00:16:03,755 - ONLY FOR A SECOND. 464 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,723 - HEEL. - CAN YOU TONE IT DOWN? 465 00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:06,966 TAMARA'’S STILL A LITTLE SENSITIVE 466 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,622 TO THE RICKY SUCK-FACE SIDESHOW. 467 00:16:08,622 --> 00:16:12,281 - OH, NO... I-I'’M SO SORRY. 468 00:16:12,281 --> 00:16:13,455 I'’M NOT. 469 00:16:13,455 --> 00:16:15,250 YOU WIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME. 470 00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:16,872 - RICKY MIGHT WANT TO BE WITH YOU NOW, 471 00:16:16,872 --> 00:16:18,943 BUT JUST WAIT-- HE'’S A CHEATER AND A LIAR, 472 00:16:18,943 --> 00:16:20,531 AND WHILE YOU MIGHT THINK YOU'’RE SPECIAL, 473 00:16:20,531 --> 00:16:21,808 YOU'’RE NOT. 474 00:16:21,808 --> 00:16:24,811 SO ENJOY THE DELUSION WHILE IT LASTS. 475 00:16:30,299 --> 00:16:33,716 - YOU SEEM UNCOMMONLY CALM. 476 00:16:33,716 --> 00:16:36,581 - I TOOK A MUSCLE RELAXER. 477 00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:39,274 - JUST A MUSCLE RELAXER? 478 00:16:39,274 --> 00:16:41,862 - OR THREE. 479 00:16:41,862 --> 00:16:42,967 - AL... 480 00:16:42,967 --> 00:16:45,073 IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO BACK OUT. 481 00:16:45,073 --> 00:16:46,695 YOU HAVEN'’T SLEPT WITH HIM YET. 482 00:16:46,695 --> 00:16:49,939 IT'’LL BE AN EASY ANNULMENT. 483 00:16:49,939 --> 00:16:52,252 I THINK YOU RUSHED INTO THIS. 484 00:16:52,252 --> 00:16:54,875 - I DID. - WHY? 485 00:16:54,875 --> 00:16:56,394 - SO HE WOULDN'’T CHANGE HIS MIND. 486 00:16:56,394 --> 00:16:59,949 LACE, HE'’S THE FIRST MAN WHO'’S REALLY LOVED ME. 487 00:16:59,949 --> 00:17:03,194 AND THAT'’S A FEELING THAT'’S HARD TO FORGET. 488 00:17:06,370 --> 00:17:07,923 - I KNOW. 489 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,548 [pop song] 490 00:17:12,548 --> 00:17:14,585 [giggles] 491 00:17:14,585 --> 00:17:16,794 - YOU'’RE ON. READY? 492 00:17:16,794 --> 00:17:20,004 - POINT ME TO THE TARGET. 493 00:17:20,004 --> 00:17:21,833 OH, GOD. NO, I CAN'’T DO THIS. 494 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,904 I WON'’T BE ABLE TO HOLD IT TOGETHER. 495 00:17:23,904 --> 00:17:26,528 - I KNOW HE'’S ATTRACTIVE, BUT-- - HE IS NOT MY TYPE. 496 00:17:26,528 --> 00:17:27,770 - PRETEND. 497 00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:29,151 - I CAN PRETEND TO BE MANY THINGS, 498 00:17:29,151 --> 00:17:30,842 BUT ATTRACTED TO A PRETTY BOY? 499 00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:33,052 THAT IS ABOVE THE CALL OF DUTY, J. 500 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,676 I'’LL JUST KEEP YOUR MOM PREOCCUPIED INSTEAD. 501 00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:39,610 - HOW MANY GIRLS HAVE YOU CHEATED ON? 502 00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:41,888 - DEFINE CHEATING. 503 00:17:41,888 --> 00:17:43,890 - [sighs] - YES. 504 00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:45,650 OKAY? YES. I'’VE CHEATED. 505 00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,721 ON EVERY GIRL I'’VE EVER BEEN WITH. 506 00:17:47,721 --> 00:17:49,240 BUT THEY WERE NOT YOU. 507 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,346 I LOVE YOU, DOLL FACE. 508 00:17:51,346 --> 00:17:53,244 AND ONLY YOU. 509 00:17:55,591 --> 00:17:57,490 - SAY IT AGAIN. 510 00:17:57,490 --> 00:18:00,976 - I LOVE YOU, AND ONLY YOU. 511 00:18:00,976 --> 00:18:05,877 ♪ 512 00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:07,431 - HEY, WHAT'’S WRONG? 513 00:18:07,431 --> 00:18:08,846 - WHAT ISN'’T? 514 00:18:08,846 --> 00:18:10,951 I'’M DESTINED TO BE AN UNLOVABLE LOSER 515 00:18:10,951 --> 00:18:13,230 AND SADIE CAN'’T HELP BUT RUB IT IN MY FACE. 516 00:18:13,230 --> 00:18:17,199 - YEAH. SHE'’S OUT OF CONTROL. 517 00:18:17,199 --> 00:18:19,443 - I'’M GONNA PUT AN END TO THIS. 518 00:18:19,443 --> 00:18:21,617 - I'’M PUTTING AN END TO THIS. - TO WHAT? 519 00:18:21,617 --> 00:18:23,723 - YOUR WALTZ DOWN MEMORY LANE. 520 00:18:23,723 --> 00:18:25,207 JUST BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE SEPARATED 521 00:18:25,207 --> 00:18:27,727 DOESN'’T MEAN IT'’S OPEN SEASON ON MY MOM. 522 00:18:27,727 --> 00:18:29,832 I KNOW YOUR TYPE. 523 00:18:29,832 --> 00:18:31,834 YOU LOST OUT, AND NOW YOU WANT HER BACK. 524 00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:33,698 BUT IT DOESN'’T MATTER WHAT YOU DO, 525 00:18:33,698 --> 00:18:36,011 BECAUSE MY MOM LOVES MY DAD, 526 00:18:36,011 --> 00:18:38,462 AND SHE WANTS HIM BACK. - POINT TAKEN. 527 00:18:38,462 --> 00:18:40,360 - GOOD. - YOU'’RE RIGHT. 528 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:44,985 I SHOULD HAVE FOUGHT FOR YOUR MOM WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE. 529 00:18:46,884 --> 00:18:48,989 BUT LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. 530 00:18:48,989 --> 00:18:50,819 I MEAN, IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE SPECIAL, 531 00:18:50,819 --> 00:18:52,234 DON'’T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. 532 00:18:52,234 --> 00:18:54,063 - AND I DID HAVE SOMEONE SPECIAL 533 00:18:54,063 --> 00:18:56,169 WHO I'’D BEEN TAKING FOR GRANTED ALL NIGHT. 534 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,998 WITH THE BEN SITCH PUT TO BED, 535 00:18:57,998 --> 00:19:00,656 IT WAS FINALLY TIME TO JUMP INTO MINE WITH JAKE. 536 00:19:05,523 --> 00:19:06,800 - NOT QUITE, BUT AT THIS POINT, 537 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,526 EMILY CAN SUCK IT. 538 00:19:08,526 --> 00:19:09,734 - HAVE YOU SEEN JAKE? 539 00:19:09,734 --> 00:19:11,702 - HE'’S GIVING IT TO SADIE FOR ME. 540 00:19:11,702 --> 00:19:13,013 - I LOVE THAT KID. 541 00:19:13,013 --> 00:19:14,877 - AND I DID TOO. 542 00:19:14,877 --> 00:19:17,432 AND IT WAS TIME TO TELL HIM. 543 00:19:17,432 --> 00:19:20,435 RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THEN. 544 00:19:20,435 --> 00:19:21,643 [cell phone rings] - COME ON, PLEASE. 545 00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:22,885 JUST CHILL OUT. 546 00:19:22,885 --> 00:19:24,439 - MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 547 00:19:24,439 --> 00:19:26,199 - YOU'’RE ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT. 548 00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:29,168 - HEY...SORRY I'’VE BEEN M.I.A. ALL DAY. 549 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,859 I WANT TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU. 550 00:19:30,859 --> 00:19:32,895 I THINK IT'’S TIME WE DITCHED THE RECEPTION. 551 00:19:32,895 --> 00:19:35,415 - ME? I'’M THE FOOL? 552 00:19:35,415 --> 00:19:37,417 UM, SADLY, THAT WOULD BE YOU. 553 00:19:37,417 --> 00:19:41,145 WHY DON'’T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR BEST FRIEND'’S SLOPPY SECONDS 554 00:19:41,145 --> 00:19:42,284 AND LEAVE ME ALONE. 555 00:19:42,284 --> 00:19:44,804 - EXCUSE ME? 556 00:19:44,804 --> 00:19:46,737 - OHH. 557 00:19:46,737 --> 00:19:48,394 YOU DON'’T KNOW? 558 00:19:48,394 --> 00:19:51,086 YOU REALLY ARE THE FOOL. 559 00:19:51,086 --> 00:19:53,399 ♪ 560 00:19:53,399 --> 00:19:55,055 - YOU'’RE A BITCH. 561 00:19:55,055 --> 00:19:57,817 AND I DON'’T BELIEVE A THING YOU'’RE SAYING. 562 00:19:57,817 --> 00:19:59,198 - ASK MATTY. 563 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,269 HE HAD A PIECE OF YOUR HAMILTON PIE 564 00:20:01,269 --> 00:20:03,788 LONG BEFORE YOU DID. 565 00:20:05,169 --> 00:20:08,207 - GO TO HELL. 566 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,278 - [snaps fingers] 567 00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:13,246 - WHERE IS SHE? 568 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,214 - SHE'’S WITH ANOTHER GUY. 569 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,699 - GLAD YOU'’RE FINALLY GETTING OVER THAT CHICK FROM CAMP. 570 00:20:17,699 --> 00:20:18,700 - YEAH. 571 00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:20,529 ♪ 572 00:20:20,529 --> 00:20:23,049 - ♪ THE FATE OF THE WORLD YOU LEAVE ♪ 573 00:20:23,049 --> 00:20:25,189 - AND ONE MORE THING. 574 00:20:25,189 --> 00:20:27,536 I LOVE YOU, JAKE ROSATI. 575 00:20:27,536 --> 00:20:30,815 - ♪ MAKING A MOMENT 576 00:20:30,815 --> 00:20:34,198 - GONE WERE THE SECRETS AND HEARTACHE OF MY PAST. 577 00:20:34,198 --> 00:20:36,959 I WAS LOOKING AT MY FUTURE. 578 00:20:36,959 --> 00:20:40,446 - ♪ NOW'’S YOUR CHANCE ♪ 40175

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