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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:03,438 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:04,874 IT WAS ANOTHER NATURAL DISASTER. 3 00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:06,745 MY MOM'S BFF, ALLY. 4 00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:07,877 - WHAT'S UP, LIL' BITCH? 5 00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:08,660 - OH, YOU GUYS HAVEN'T MET. 6 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:11,576 COURTNEY, THIS IS JENNA. 7 00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:13,143 - RICKY? 8 00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,624 - I LOVE YOU. - AWESOME. 9 00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:27,070 - ♪ YOU TOLD ME WE WERE FIGHTERS FIGHTERS ♪ 10 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:29,203 - I COULDN'T SHAKE WHAT WAS KEEPING ME AWAKE. 11 00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:30,900 THAT JAKE SAID HE LOVED ME. 12 00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:34,382 I DIDN'T SAY IT BACK, AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHY. 13 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:37,776 WHAT I DID KNOW WAS WHY I LOVED ICE CREAM. 14 00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:40,997 IT WAS A DELICIOUS, COMFORTING AND CRUEL REMINDER 15 00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:43,739 OF HOW COLD I MUST HAVE SEEMED WHEN I LEFT JAKE HANGING. 16 00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:46,481 BUT I NEVER LEFT MY HOODIES HANGING 17 00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:48,222 BECAUSE IT WAS OBVIOUS I LOVED THEM. 18 00:00:48,222 --> 00:00:50,354 THEY WERE VERSATILE, GOOD FOR ALL SEASONS 19 00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,835 AND COULD HIDE ME FROM THE PROBING, LATE NIGHT QUESTIONS 20 00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,315 I DIDN'T WANNA FACE. 21 00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:55,838 SO I DIDN'T KNOW HOW I FELT. 22 00:00:55,838 --> 00:00:57,187 I KNEW HOW TO READ A LABEL. 23 00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:58,928 THE LABEL WOULD TELL ME HOW LONG 24 00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,756 IT WOULD TAKE FOR MY PROBLEM TO GO AWAY. 25 00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:03,367 SIX WEEKS. THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME IT TOOK JAKE 26 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,152 TO KNOW THAT HE LOVED ME. 27 00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:07,067 MAYBE I DID KNOW. 28 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,112 BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE IT YET. 29 00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,940 BECAUSE IT WAS TOO SOON. 30 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:12,681 AND THAT WAS OKAY. 31 00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:14,204 NOBODY FALLS IN LOVE OVERNIGHT. 32 00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:15,379 - IT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT. 33 00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:16,728 - I'M IN LOVE. 34 00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:19,209 - OR MAYBE THEY DO. 35 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:28,827 - I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BEST FRIEND IS IN LOVE AND ENGAGED! 36 00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:31,091 - AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "IT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT"? 37 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,006 CONSIDERING THAT ALLY'S LONGEST RELATIONSHIP WAS WITH NICOTINE, 38 00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,008 HER SPONTANEOUS ENGAGEMENT SEEMED A BIT SKETCH. 39 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:38,533 - DETAILS. WE WANT THEM ALL. 40 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:40,491 - DAN. THAT'S HIS NAME. 41 00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:42,102 - YOU WERE ALWAYS SO GOOD WITH DANS. 42 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,539 - MM-HMM. - WHAT DOES HE DO? 43 00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,715 - UGH, SOMETHING BUSINESS-Y. 44 00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:49,935 I'M NOT CLEAR ON EXACTLY WHAT, BUT THE MAN IS FLUSH. 45 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:52,808 AND THE MAN DRIVES A PORSCHE 46 00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:55,637 WITH A PERSONALIZED LICENSE PLATE THAT SAYS-- 47 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:56,725 - "DAN THE MAN"? 48 00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:57,813 - YES! GOOD GUESS. 49 00:01:57,813 --> 00:02:00,207 - IT WAS EDUCATED. 50 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,295 IF THE DUDE WANTED TO MARRY ALLY, 51 00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,209 HE HAD TO HAVE QUESTIONABLE TASTE. 52 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:04,036 - DON'T JUDGE, LIL' BITCH. 53 00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,212 BE GRATEFUL THAT YOUR FUTURE 54 00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,474 UNCLE IN LAW CAN AFFORD 55 00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:07,649 TO SURGICALLY PACK YOUR CANS 56 00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:08,780 SINCE NATURE'S NOT GOING TO. 57 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,652 - LOVE HIM ALREADY. 58 00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,784 - SO, TWO WEEKS AGO, WHILE I WAS VISITING MY FOLKS, 59 00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:13,785 I WAS WORKING DOWN AT THE BEACH CLUB 60 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:16,092 WHILE I PRETENDED TO LOOK FOR A JOB. 61 00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:17,833 MEANWHILE, DAN WAS PRETENDING TO WORK OUT 62 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,704 WHILE HE MADE IT HIS JOB TO WATCH ME SWEAT. 63 00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:22,881 [both chuckle] 64 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:24,840 - AND THEN YOU GOT TO KNOW HIM AND HE SAID HE LOVED YOU 65 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,885 AND WHILE YOU WEREN'T SURE HOW YOU FELT AT FIRST, 66 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,322 YOU SOON REALIZED THAT HE WAS THE BEST GUY YOU EVER MET? 67 00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:30,672 - NO. THEN WE WENT TO PARIS 68 00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:33,892 AND HE PUT A 4.6 KARAT ROCK ON MY FINGER. BAM! 69 00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:36,286 - HE TOOK YOU TO PARIS? 70 00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:38,723 - AND HE GAVE ME HIS BLACK AMEX. 71 00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,682 - SO WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU LOVED HIM? 72 00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,771 - I DON'T KNOW. IN THE AIRPORT? 73 00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:45,121 I CAN'T REMEMBER ALL THE DETAILS. 74 00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:47,471 CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME? 75 00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:48,298 - JENNA, WE SAW THAT. 76 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:49,560 - IT WAS A SUPPORTIVE EYE ROLL, 77 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,910 BECAUSE NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET A JOB. 78 00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,216 - I KNOW! 79 00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:54,261 - I DON'T KNOW, 80 00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,349 I JUST DIDN'T SAY IT BACK. 81 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:56,872 - SO YOU LEFT JAKE HANGING? 82 00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:58,395 - NO, I KISSED HIM. 83 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,615 - OKAY, THIS IS PROMISING. AND THEN? 84 00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:01,920 - AND THEN I MIGHT HAVE SAID, "AWESOME." 85 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,748 - HOLY PULLED GOALIE. 86 00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:05,968 - EXACTLY, IT WAS PRE-EMOTIONAL EJACULATION. 87 00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,796 - NO, SAYING "AWESOME" ON THE HEELS OF AN ILY 88 00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:11,103 IS THE EQUIVALENT OF KNOCKING SOMEONE UP WITH HEARTACHE. 89 00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:12,540 - OR PEEING IN THEIR FACE. 90 00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:13,976 - WHICH YOU WOULDN'T KNOW, TINKLE-BELL. 91 00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:15,107 - THAT'S RIGHT. 92 00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:16,239 I HAVE AN EXPLOSIVE BLADDER. 93 00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:17,501 IT HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN 94 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:18,807 SO STEP AWAY OR I MIGHT SPRAY YOU. 95 00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,765 OKAY, THINK FAST. 96 00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:24,160 IMAGINE I'M AN UNHINGED, OVER-MEDICATED HAIR STYLIST 97 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,988 AND I'M ABOUT TO MOW DOWN YOUR MANE THAT YOU'VE BEEN GROWING 98 00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,119 SINCE THE FOURTH GRADE UNLESS YOU ANSWER 99 00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:27,990 THIS QUESTION HONESTLY. 100 00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,774 ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH JAKE? 101 00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,472 ONE. TWO. 102 00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:32,951 - IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T FEEL SOMETHING. 103 00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:33,909 IT'S JUST THAT I'M NOT SURE I FEEL "IT". 104 00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:34,953 - YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE. 105 00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:38,043 - DON'T BE SO TENTATIVE. 106 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,306 GRAB 'EM! 107 00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:40,916 - I LIKE IT WHEN YOU TAKE CHARGE. 108 00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:42,657 - AND I LIKE IT WHEN YOU DON'T SPEAK. 109 00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:44,224 - OH, YOU'RE SUCH A WOMAN. 110 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,792 - PIPE DOWN AND FEEL ME UP. 111 00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:48,663 - I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. 112 00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,360 AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME YOU DON'T 113 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,709 FEEL WHAT'S HAPPENING BETWEEN US. 114 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,102 - OH, I CAN. 115 00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:54,234 AND IF YOU'D SHUT UP, 116 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:57,106 I MIGHT LET IT OUT TO BREATHE. 117 00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:59,195 - THIS ISN'T JUST SOME SORDID AFFAIR, DOLLFACE. 118 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,589 I WANNA WIN YOUR HEART. 119 00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:05,201 - I AM NOT, NOR WILL I EVER BE YOUR DOLLFACE. 120 00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,899 - WHY NOT? - IT SHOULD BE OBVI, 121 00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:10,206 BUT I GUESS I NEED TO BREAK IT DOWN. 122 00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,990 I DON'T DO BAND GEEKS. 123 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,557 AT LEAST NOT IN PUBLIC. 124 00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:16,952 - AH, BUT I'M THE SCHWARTZMAN. 125 00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:18,040 I AM THE BAND. 126 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:22,740 - THEN THIS IS ALL YOU GET. 127 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:30,270 - OKAY, SO LET'S SAY I'M NOT IN LOVE, 128 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,793 WHICH I'M NOT SAYING. 129 00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:32,924 WHAT DO I DO? - BREAK UP. 130 00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:35,144 - BREAK UP? WHY? - BECAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR. 131 00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:36,232 YOU'RE LEADING HIM ON. 132 00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:37,102 - I'M NOT LEADING HIM ON. 133 00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:39,322 I'M TAKING MY TIME. 134 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,454 - MATTY DID THAT WITH ME 135 00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:41,846 AND HE CAME AROUND EVENTUALLY. 136 00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,848 - WHEN YOU WERE IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP. 137 00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,459 BUT I LOVE BEING JAKE'S GIRLFRIEND. 138 00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,243 SEE, LOVE JUST SLIPPED RIGHT OUT. 139 00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:49,158 TOTALLY UNPROVOKED. 140 00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:50,202 THAT'S A GOOD SIGN. 141 00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,421 MAYBE I'M COMING AROUND. 142 00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,815 - YOU DON'T JUST COME AROUND. YOU KNOW. 143 00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,991 LIKE WITH FRED, I COULD TELL THE SECOND 144 00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:58,689 HE PUMPED ME A CUP WITH MORE FOAM THAN BEER. 145 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,430 HE COULD SENSE I WAS A LIGHTWEIGHT. 146 00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:01,692 - I THINK EVERYONE COULD SENSE THAT 147 00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,999 WHEN YOU WERE BLOWING CHUNKS BY THE DOOR. 148 00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:06,306 BUT, THAT DOESN'T TAKE ANYTHING AWAY 149 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,568 FROM THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW, MING. 150 00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,570 'CAUSE PEOPLE JUST KNOW WHEN THEY KNOW. 151 00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:12,399 - BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU KNOW? 152 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:15,793 - HEY, BEAUTIFUL. - DIE. 153 00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:16,838 DAMN IT. 154 00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:18,274 YOU JUST KNOW. 155 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,320 - AND YOU KNOW I'M THE ONE 156 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,016 AND ONLY JAKE ROSATI, 157 00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:22,931 WITH A SPECIAL GUEST. 158 00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:25,281 - MATTY MCKIBBEN. 159 00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:27,675 - AND THESE ARE THE PALACE HILLS MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS. 160 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,938 IT'S BLACK HISTORY MONTH, TITANS, 161 00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:31,722 AND SO TODAY WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL HISTORY LESSON 162 00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:34,203 BROUGHT TO YOU VIA RECORDING FROM OUR VERY OWN, 163 00:05:34,203 --> 00:05:38,120 VERY WHITE HISTORY TEACHER, MR. SAMUEL WOLLMAN. 164 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:42,167 - SO LAST NIGHT...ENDING UP AT THE SAME PLACE. 165 00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,952 THAT WAS A LITTLE AWKWARD. - YEAH. 166 00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,519 BUT NOT AS AWKWARD AS IT WAS 167 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:46,302 WHEN I TOLD JENNA THAT I LOVED HER. 168 00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:48,217 - WHAT? WHEN DID YOU GUYS HAVE SEX? 169 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,871 - WE HAVEN'T. 170 00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,613 BUT THAT'S OFF THE TABLE BECAUSE I FREAKED HER OUT. 171 00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:53,004 YOU KNOW WHAT HER RESPONSE TO ME WAS? 172 00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:54,658 "AWESOME." 173 00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,704 - YEAH, THAT'S BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SAY 174 00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:58,619 "I LOVE YOU" BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX. 175 00:05:58,619 --> 00:05:59,315 - COME ON, MAN, THERE ISN'T AN ORDER. 176 00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,969 - DUDE YOU ARE SO JV. [laughs] 177 00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:05,539 RIGHT NOW YOU ARE AT THE "I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH YOU" 178 00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:07,367 OR THE "I LOVE BEING AROUND YOU" PHASE. 179 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,672 YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BLOW 180 00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:10,761 THE "I LOVE YOU" WAD UNTIL AFTER SEX. 181 00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,197 THAT'S THE CARROT YOU DANGLE TO GET IT, BABY. 182 00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:13,982 - I COULD JUST TAKE IT BACK. - YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK. 183 00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:15,331 IT'S OUT THERE. 184 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:17,246 NOW YOU JUST GOTTA PLAY IT COOL, ALL RIGHT. 185 00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:19,727 - EASY FOR YOU TO SAY, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE. 186 00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:21,816 - AHA. 187 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,557 EVIDENCE OF MY LOVE. 188 00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,646 NOTE THE BIG SMILE, WARM EMBRACE. 189 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:30,259 NEED I SAY MORE? 190 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,043 HEY, DO WE LOOK IN LOVE? 191 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:33,262 THANK YOU. 192 00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,263 IF I DIDN'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE, 193 00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:35,482 I'D BE CONVINCED. 194 00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,831 - BUT YOU DO KNOW THESE PEOPLE. 195 00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:39,921 AND YOU DON'T NEED TO CONVINCE ME OR ANYONE ELSE. 196 00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:42,053 YOU NEED TO CONVINCE YOURSELF AND MAYBE YOUR NOTEBOOK. 197 00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:43,403 - OF WHAT? 198 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,709 - THAT YOU'RE NOT STILL INTO MATTY. 199 00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:47,276 - NO WAY. THAT SHIP HAS SAILED. 200 00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:48,973 IT WASN'T ENTIRELY TRUE. 201 00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:52,803 MY FEELINGS FOR MATTY WERE PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR. 202 00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:55,110 BUT LIKE JAKE, I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO INTERPRET THEM. 203 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:58,113 WAS RESIDUAL LOVE FOR MATTY CLOUDING MY NEW LOVE FOR JAKE? 204 00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:02,683 - WE KNOW YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH MATTY, BUT WHEN DID YOU KNOW? 205 00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:06,774 - IT WAS...AFTER WE HAD SEX. - OKAY. 206 00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:09,951 YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH JAKE, THEN YOU'LL KNOW. 207 00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:11,822 - I WASN'T SURE I WAS READY TO HAVE SEX WITH JAKE. 208 00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:14,129 IT WASN'T A QUESTION I EVER PONDERED WITH MATTY. 209 00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,522 I JUST DID IT. 210 00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:16,914 DID I JUST NEED TO DO "IT" AGAIN? 211 00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:19,613 [bell rings] 212 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:28,926 - [chuckles] 213 00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,842 - HEY. 214 00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,583 - YO. 215 00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:35,629 - I'VE BEEN THINKING-- - THAT'S FUNNY. 216 00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:37,761 BECAUSE, UH, LAST NIGHT, I WASN'T. 217 00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:40,111 I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SAY. 218 00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,939 - WE SHOULD HAVE SEX. - WHAT? 219 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,158 - [over intercom] I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE SEX. 220 00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:46,683 [all laugh] 221 00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:47,945 - OH, UH, THE MIC. 222 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,469 - WAS THAT JUST-- - YEAH. 223 00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,651 - SO I HAD MEGAPHONED MY MISSION TO BANG MY BEAU. 224 00:07:57,651 --> 00:08:00,828 MAYBE NO ONE KNEW THE VOICE OVER THE P.A. WAS ME. 225 00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:04,179 - DUDE, YO I HEARD JENNA HAMILTON ROLLS COMMANDO 226 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,441 SO SHE'S GOOD TO GO AT ALL TIMES. 227 00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:08,792 - APPARENTLY, JENNA HAMILTON CAN'T LIVE 228 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,664 WITHOUT JAKE'S MAN JUICE. 229 00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:13,580 - JENNA HAMILTON CAN'T KEEP IT IN HER PANTS. 230 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,234 SLUT. 231 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,280 - I WAS OVERREACTING. 232 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,412 THERE WAS NOTHING TO AVOID. 233 00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,632 NOTHING BUT-- [both laugh] 234 00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:23,415 MY PILE OF DENIAL. 235 00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:26,288 WHICH I HAD STEPPED IN. AGAIN. 236 00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,072 - I'M DOWN TO BONE. 237 00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:32,163 - NICE TRY, DUDE, BUT THE GIRL'S GOT HIGHER STANDARDS. 238 00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:34,731 WHICH I WOULD KNOW FIRSTHAND. 239 00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,691 COME ON, IT WAS A JOKE. - NOT FUNNY. 240 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,257 - OKAY, I'LL QUIT. 241 00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:41,782 SO... - SO... 242 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,348 - YOU AND JAKE ARE GONNA DO THE DEED. 243 00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:47,135 - I REALIZE I MADE A VERY PUBLIC PRONOUNCEMENT, 244 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,876 BUT I'M NOT READY TO DISCUSS THE DETAILS WITH YOU. 245 00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:49,833 - WHY NOT? 246 00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:50,878 - UM, BECAUSE YOU AND I 247 00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:51,922 WERE JUST SEALING THE DEAL A FEW MONTHS AGO 248 00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,924 AND BECAUSE IT'S WEIRD. 249 00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:54,925 - MAYBE TALKING ABOUT IT 250 00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,536 WILL HELP US GET OUT OF THE WEIRD ZONE 251 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,581 AND PUT US INTO THE FRIEND ONE. 252 00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:00,278 YOU SHOULD LET ME CASUALLY GIVE JAKE SOME POINTERS 253 00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:02,803 ABOUT THE JENNA DOs AND DON'Ts. 254 00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:05,719 - WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, JENNA'S DOs AND DON'Ts? 255 00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:07,242 - YOU KNOW, THE STUFF YOU DO AND DON'T LIKE WHEN DOING IT. 256 00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:09,679 - I DO NOT HAVE DOs AND DON'Ts. 257 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,463 - OH, YES YOU DO. REMEMBER THE PLAYHOUSE? 258 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:12,508 YOU WERE ON TOP OF ME, AND YOU-- 259 00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:15,206 - DO NOT TELL JAKE TO DO THAT. 260 00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,686 - I'M NOT GONNA TELL JAKE ANYTHING. 261 00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:19,994 BUT I WILL TELL YOU THIS. GO EASY, HE'S NERVOUS. 262 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:23,737 HE REALLY...LIKES YOU. 263 00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:26,391 - WHILE THE JAKE CASE WAS STILL UNDER INVESTIGATION, 264 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:28,698 I REALIZED THE MATTY CASE HAD NOT GONE COLD. 265 00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:31,222 IT WAS CLOSED 'CAUSE I FINALLY KNEW SOMETHING. 266 00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,311 MATTY AND I WERE FRIENDS. 267 00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:37,272 - WHAT'S UP, SUICIDAL SLUT? 268 00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:40,362 GET USED TO IT, SEX IS GONNA PAY YOUR WAY THROUGH COLLEGE. 269 00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:40,841 YOU'RE WELCOME. 270 00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:45,106 - MMM, DOLLFACE. 271 00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:46,890 - SKEDATZ, I HAVE A CALL TO MAKE. 272 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:49,676 DON'T LOOK AT ME, KEEP MOVING, PULL OUT YOUR PHONE 273 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:52,853 AND PRETEND YOU'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION. 274 00:09:52,853 --> 00:09:57,074 WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN US WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A ONE TIME DEAL. 275 00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:59,729 ONE AND DONE. 276 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:02,645 IT WAS VALENTINE'S DAY, AND I WAS IN A VULNERABLE PLACE. 277 00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:05,430 THIS MORNING WAS...HORMONAL. 278 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:06,823 DON'T READ INTO IT! 279 00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:10,435 - I'M GONNA FALL APART WITHOUT YOU, DOLLFACE. 280 00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,045 YOU CAN LIVE WITH THAT? 281 00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:12,655 I'M GONNA CRY. 282 00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:15,266 I'M SERIOUSLY GONNA CRY RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW. 283 00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:17,617 - FINE, MEET ME AFTER SCHOOL. 284 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,228 BUT CONSIDER IT A PARTING GIFT. 285 00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:27,322 - I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AFTER SCHOOL. 286 00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:28,410 - EVERYONE DOES. 287 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,498 - IF IT ISN'T "INFO NYMPHO" 288 00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:30,499 AND "PEED-HER-PANTS PANTS." 289 00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:34,895 - I PREFER TINKLE-BELL, THANK YOU! 290 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,157 IT'S FUN TO BE US. 291 00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:37,419 - [over intercom] JENNA HAMILTON, 292 00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:40,727 PLEASE REPORT TO THE VICE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. 293 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:43,904 - SO, I HEARD THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING YOU WANNA DISCUSS. 294 00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:44,992 - NOPE. NOTHING. 295 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,602 - NOT EVEN... 296 00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:50,432 CHUGGA-CHUGGA-CHUGGA -CHOO-CHOO? 297 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,825 - DEFINITELY NOT THAT. - ALL RIGHT, LISTEN. 298 00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,217 - I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A LITTLE ADVICE 299 00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,089 THAT MY MOM IMPARTED ON ME. 300 00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:56,394 ALWAYS BE A LADY IN THE STREET, 301 00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:59,571 FREAK IN THE SHEETS, AND QUIET OVER THE P.A. SYSTEM. 302 00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:00,921 - YOUR MOM SAID THAT? 303 00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:02,705 - ACTUALLY, IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN USHER. 304 00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:05,490 AND THE P.A. TIDBIT, THAT'S JUST MY OWN RULE OF THUMB. 305 00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,188 I FIND THAT SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER TO USE 306 00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:11,061 SUGGESTIVE GESTURES IN PUBLIC RATHER THAN OVERT EXPRESSIONS 307 00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:14,456 LIKE, "DO ME, BIG BOY." - I DIDN'T SAY THAT. 308 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,587 - NO WHAT YOU SAID JUST SPELLED IT OUT. 309 00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:16,719 AT LEAST "DO ME, BIG BOY" 310 00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:17,851 HAS ALTERNATE CONNOTATIONS, 311 00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:20,288 LIKE SPREADING MUSTARD ON A FOOTLONG. 312 00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:24,727 JENNA, I AM NOT TRYING TO FURTHER YOUR EMBARRASSMENT 313 00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,729 OR TURN THIS INTO A BIGGER DEAL THAN IT ALREADY IS, 314 00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:30,733 BUT YOU COULD GO TO JAIL! - FOR WHAT? 315 00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:31,952 - P.M.U.I. 316 00:11:31,952 --> 00:11:34,041 PREMEDITATED UNDERAGE INTERCOURSE. 317 00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:37,174 - THERE'S NO LAW AGAINST WANTING TO HAVE SEX. 318 00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:38,567 - THERE IS IF YOU WANNA HAVE SEX WITH A MINOR. 319 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:39,524 - WE'RE BOTH MINORS. 320 00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:40,264 I'M NOT A PERVERT. 321 00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:41,657 - WELL... 322 00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:43,006 THAT'S STILL UP FOR DEBATE. 323 00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:44,225 I MEAN, WE ALREADY KNOW 324 00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,226 YOU HAVE A FETISH FOR OPEN FORUMS. 325 00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:48,272 - CAN I GO NOW? - SURE, SEE YOU AT HOME. 326 00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:49,752 - WHAT? - OH, I'M GOING TO YOGA 327 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,058 THIS AFTERNOON WITH L-DAWG. 328 00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:53,234 YOUR MOM. 329 00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:56,454 DON'T WORRY, I WON'T LET HER KNOW YOU'RE A HO-BAG. 330 00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:01,198 - BETWEEN ALL THE HECKLES AND HOWLS, I HAD COME TO MY SENSES. 331 00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:04,245 SEX WAS NOT THE ANSWER. 332 00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:06,638 - THE ANSWER IS YES. - TO WHAT? 333 00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:09,206 - TO THE QUESTION THAT REVERBED AROUND THE HALL? 334 00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:10,642 - THAT WAS MORE OF A STATEMENT. 335 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:13,515 - EITHER WAY, I'M IN. 336 00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:15,647 - OKAY, SO I GUESS WE SHOULD TALK LOGISTICS. 337 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,432 WHEN DO YOU WANNA DO IT? - AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 338 00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:20,652 - OKAY, HOW'S TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL? 339 00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,568 - UH, I HAVE ASB. FRIDAY? 340 00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:24,656 - OUT WITH MY DAD. DARN IT. 341 00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:25,919 GUESS WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT. 342 00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,094 AND MAYBE FORGET. 343 00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:29,879 - OKAY, WELL LET'S JUST LOOK 344 00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:31,794 AT NEXT WEEK AND PENCIL IT IN. 345 00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:33,709 YOU KNOW, SO WE DON'T FORGET. 346 00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:38,018 IT LOOKS LIKE I COULD SQUEEZE IT IN NOW. YOU? 347 00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,497 - YOU'RE IN LUCK. 348 00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:40,890 AND I WAS IN TROUBLE. 349 00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,023 THERE WERE NO TAKE-BACKS WITH SEX. 350 00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:43,806 GOOD TO GO. WHERE TO? 351 00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:46,417 - MY CAR? - IT'S TOO SMALL. 352 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,376 - OH, YEAH. 353 00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:49,638 WELL DOESN'T YOUR MOM HAVE YOGA TODAY? 354 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,205 - YEAH, BUT SHE'S ONLY GONNA BE GONE TWO HOURS. 355 00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:52,728 - TWO HOURS. 356 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,686 I'LL BE LUCKY IF I LAST TWO MINUTES. 357 00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:55,296 - [chuckles] - I MEAN... 358 00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:57,733 UH, 20..MINUTES. 359 00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:59,735 ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA DO THIS? WE DON'T HAVE TO. 360 00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:02,085 YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE NERVOUS, OR... 361 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,870 - AND LIKE THAT, I WASN'T. 362 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:04,609 JAKE WASN'T LAYING ON THE PRESSURE. 363 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,655 HE WAS BUCKLING UNDER IT. 364 00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,178 I WANNA DO IT. - YES! 365 00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:10,006 I MEAN, IT'S COOL, BABY. 366 00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:13,270 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WANTED TO DO IT IN YOUR CAR. 367 00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,751 [kissing noises] 368 00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:17,144 - I QUIT BAND. - GOOD FOR YOU. 369 00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:22,497 - BABE, I TRADED IN MY TENOR SAX FOR MY TENDER SAXTON. 370 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:25,892 - THAT WAS IDIOTIC. - I'M A FOOL. 371 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:26,936 FOOL FOR LOVE. 372 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,459 - WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? 373 00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:32,376 I TREAT YOU LIKE CRAP AND YOU KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE. 374 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:33,464 - I GET IT. 375 00:13:33,464 --> 00:13:34,465 YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR ME. 376 00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,119 I KNEW I COULD NEVER BE 377 00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:40,341 WITH A GIRL AS FUNNY AND AS SMART AND AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU, 378 00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:42,909 BUT I HAD TO TRY. 379 00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:45,433 - WHY CAN'T THIS JUST BE ABOUT SEX? 380 00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:48,523 - WELL, WE AREN'T HAVING SEX. - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 381 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:50,133 - DON'T PLAY WITH ME, DOLLFACE. 382 00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,395 IF I DON'T HAVE YOU AND I DON'T HAVE THE BAND, 383 00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:52,832 I GOT NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. 384 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:57,532 - AW, JESUS, KISS ME BEFORE I THROW UP. 385 00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,186 - ARE YOU EXCITED? 386 00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,623 - I CAN TELL YOU ARE. - WE'RE DOING THIS. 387 00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:03,538 WE'RE REALLY DOING THIS. 388 00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:09,544 - OH... 389 00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:11,720 - WE'RE NOT DOING THIS. 390 00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,508 - MOM, ISN'T IT TIME FOR YOGA? 391 00:14:17,508 --> 00:14:19,684 - ALLY HERE PERSUADED US TO DOWN THE HATCH 392 00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,817 INSTEAD OF DOWNWARD THE DOG. 393 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:26,474 WAIT A MINUTE, DID WE SPOIL YOUR PLAN TO HAVE SEX? 394 00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:27,692 - [gasps] - [giggles] 395 00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:30,608 - AND ON THAT NOTE, NICE TO SEE YOU. 396 00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:31,783 RAIN CHECK? - RAIN CHECK. 397 00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:34,743 [all giggle] 398 00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:41,228 [doorbell rings] 399 00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:45,841 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 400 00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:47,843 - OH, IT'S MY FAVORITE NIECE. 401 00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:50,498 - I'M YOUR ONLY NIECE. 402 00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,326 - DAN THE MAN IS YOUR UNCLE? 403 00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:53,631 - JENNA'S ALSO HER NIECE. 404 00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:54,589 - PLEASE TELL ME WE ARE 405 00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,243 NOT ABOUT TO BE RELATED. 406 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,984 - SHE'S ALL YOURS. - SO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER? 407 00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,289 - EVERYONE KNOWS JENNA. 408 00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,769 SHE HAS A REPUTATION. 409 00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,292 ARE YOU READY TO GO? 410 00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:06,035 - JENNA, ISN'T IT FUN THAT DAN IS SADIE'S UNCLE 411 00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:09,038 AND HE WENT TO PALACE HILLS, TOO. 412 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:13,216 ALTHOUGH HE MUST HAVE BEEN A FEW YEARS AHEAD OF US. 413 00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:14,304 - HOW ABOUT A DECADE? 414 00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:16,350 MY UNCLE LIKE 'EM YOUNG. 415 00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:18,308 WELL, YOUNG-ISH. 416 00:15:18,308 --> 00:15:19,440 - THANKS, SWEETS. 417 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,485 HE'S NOT QUITE THE TEN I AM. 418 00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,661 - LET'S BE HONEST, HE'S A FOUR. 419 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,185 AND SINCE WE'RE ABOUT TO BE FAMILY, 420 00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:26,621 I WON'T PULL ANY PUNCHES. 421 00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:29,754 YOU'RE MORE OF A SIX. YOU'RE WELCOME. 422 00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:32,192 - YOU'RE PRETTY FUNNY FOR A BIG GIRL. 423 00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:35,282 - AND YOU'RE REFRESHINGLY TRANSPARENT FOR A GOLD-DIGGER. 424 00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:38,111 - AL, I'M WORRIED. I REALLY THINK YOU NEED 425 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:41,114 TO SLEEP WITH DAN BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED. 426 00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:43,551 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, YOU HAVEN'T SAMPLED THE GOODS? 427 00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:48,077 - OH, I'VE SAMPLED AND LET ME TELL YOU, HE IS WELL-ENDOWED. 428 00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:51,385 IN THE BANK. - WOO WOO! 429 00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:54,301 - WHY ARE YOU DEFLECTING. - SHE'S GOT HERPES. 430 00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:57,173 - I'M NOT GONNA LIE, I'VE HAD TO GET PAST A FEW THINGS. 431 00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:58,479 LIKE HIS BACK. 432 00:15:58,479 --> 00:15:59,915 I MEAN, THE MAN MIGHT BE PART-BEAR. 433 00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:01,308 BUT HE THINKS I'M SMART 434 00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,136 AND FUNNY AND BEAUTIFUL. 435 00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:04,354 - [loud whisper] HE'S TRYING TO GET LAID. 436 00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,356 - HE SEES ME THE WAY I SEE MYSELF. 437 00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:08,315 PERFECT AS IS. 438 00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:11,361 - THAT'S WHY I WANT OUR FIRST TIME TO BE SPECIAL. 439 00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,494 - BUT IT ISN'T YOUR FIRST TIME, SO HOW CAN IT BE SPECIAL? 440 00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:15,104 - OH, IT CAN BE SPECIAL. 441 00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:16,976 YOUR DAD WAS SPECIAL. - THAT DOESN'T COUNT. 442 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:17,933 HE WAS YOU ONE AND ONLY. 443 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,021 - [stifles laugh] 444 00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:21,328 - SHH! - [laughs] 445 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,939 YOUR MOM HAD A LIFE BEFORE YOUR DAD. 446 00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:25,419 BUT NOT QUITE THE LIFE I'VE HAD. 447 00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:29,075 - THAT IS CODE FOR HUGE VA-JAY-JAY. 448 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,424 - I USED TO JUMP INTO THE SACK 449 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,513 THINKING IT WOULD CLARIFY HOW I FELT. 450 00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:33,905 - AND DID IT? - NO. 451 00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:35,211 IF THE FEELINGS WEREN'T THERE BEFORE, 452 00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,909 THEN THE SEX WAS JUST THAT. SEX. 453 00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:41,043 BY THE WAY, LACE, YOU COULD USE SOME. 454 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,785 WE'RE GONNA START MINING YOUR NEW HUSBAND PROSPECTS 455 00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:46,440 AT MY WEDDING. [laughs] 456 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,182 - ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT MY CURRENT HUSBAND 457 00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:51,358 ISN'T GONNA WORK OUT? 458 00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:53,969 BECAUSE...I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON 459 00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:56,406 AND HE DESERVES BETTER. [sobs] 460 00:16:56,406 --> 00:17:00,454 I DON'T THINK HE LOVES ME ANYMORE. 461 00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:03,370 - YOU KNOW, IF YOU DRINK ENOUGH WINE, IT TASTES LIKE LOVE. 462 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:07,287 - I'M GONNA GO TO MY ROOM. 463 00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:09,898 - SKINNY BITCH. all: YEAH? 464 00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:11,552 - I'M LEAVING IN THREE MINUTES SO YOU BETTER DEAL 465 00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:13,162 WITH THIS EMOTIONAL CRISIS QUICKLY. 466 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,860 I'LL BE IN THE CAR. 467 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:18,472 - I HATE HER. - I LOVE HER. 468 00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:23,390 [phone rings] 469 00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:24,739 - DOLLFACE? 470 00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:25,696 - DID YOU MEAN ALL THOSE THINGS 471 00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:26,915 YOU SAID TO ME TODAY? 472 00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:28,482 - WHICH ONES? - ALL OF THEM. 473 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,310 - YES, OF COURSE. 474 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:31,398 - DO YOU HATE ME? 475 00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:32,486 - NO. 476 00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,836 - DO YOU LIKE ME? - MAYBE. 477 00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,055 - CAN I TAKE YOU TO DINNER? 478 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,970 - DON'T PUSH IT, BUT CALL ME LATER. 479 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:39,319 - YES! 480 00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:44,193 - ON MY QUEST TO FIGURE OUT MY FEELINGS, 481 00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:45,586 I WAS LEFT ONLY MORE CONFUSED. 482 00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:48,458 IF SEX WOULDN'T CLARIFY ANYTHING, 483 00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:49,938 WAS IT WORTH THE RISK? 484 00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:53,942 - HONEY? 485 00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:57,815 I AM SORRY WE GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH ALL OF THAT GIRL TALK. 486 00:17:57,815 --> 00:17:59,165 I DID NOT MEAN TO EMBARRASS YOU. 487 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:00,253 - DON'T WORRY, IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME. 488 00:18:00,253 --> 00:18:03,604 - AND IT WON'T BE THE LAST. 489 00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:05,214 - MOM, WERE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE OTHER GUYS YOU SLEPT WITH? 490 00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:08,652 - GUY. THERE WAS ONLY ONE. 491 00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:11,481 AND I DON'T KNOW IF I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM. 492 00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:14,658 WE HAD SEX BEFORE I KNEW HOW I FELT. 493 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:18,009 BUT WITH YOUR DAD, IT JUST... 494 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:21,317 IT ALL HAPPENED AT THE SAME TIME. 495 00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:23,841 JENNA, CONTRARY TO THE ADVICE 496 00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:25,713 I'VE BEEN GIVING ALLY, YOU NEED TO KNOW 497 00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:30,283 THAT EVERY FIRST TIME IS THE FIRST TIME. 498 00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:33,982 AND IT SHOULD BE SPECIAL. 499 00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:41,294 - HEY. - OH, HEY, BABE. 500 00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:42,730 - PICK ME UP IN TEN. 501 00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:44,601 I'LL BRING THE CONDOMS. 502 00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:51,042 - WELL, HERE WE ARE. 503 00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,783 - YEP, HERE WE ARE IN YOUR MOM'S MINIVAN 504 00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:55,177 IN A DISCRETE LOCATION. 505 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,918 CALL ME CRAZY, BUT THIS FEELS A LITTLE HINKY. 506 00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:58,267 - DAMN IT, NOW YOU'VE RUINED 507 00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:00,182 MY SURPRISED HIJACKING OF YOUR VIRGINITY. 508 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:03,054 OH, RIGHT, THAT'S ALREADY BEEN TAKEN. 509 00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:04,839 - TOUCHE. OKAY, LET'S DO THIS. 510 00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:07,885 - HOLD ON, HOLD ON, YOU'RE GETTING AHEAD OF YOURSELF. 511 00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:11,106 [van beeps] 512 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,853 MOONLIGHT ROMANCE. - OOH, SWANKY. 513 00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:19,897 - NECESSARY. 514 00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:22,117 MY SISTER'S A BIG SLOB. 515 00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:24,902 JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT-- - SPECIAL? 516 00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:26,687 COME HERE. 517 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,515 - UH, WAIT, WAIT. 518 00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:30,473 UM...THIS JUST DOESN'T REALLY FEEL RIGHT. 519 00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:33,172 I JUST AM FEELING A LITTLE EXPOSED. 520 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:33,781 - YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR SHIRT ON. 521 00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:37,698 - NO. NO, ALL OF IT. 522 00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,656 I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE DOING THIS TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER 523 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:41,136 ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT, AND YOU DON'T NEED TO. 524 00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:42,703 I SAID WHAT I WAS FEELING. 525 00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:46,185 WHAT I AM FEELING. 526 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,534 BUT I DIDN'T SAY IT SO THAT YOU 527 00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:48,970 WOULD SAY IT BACK OR SLEEP WITH ME. 528 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:51,059 I SAID IT BECAUSE... 529 00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,235 I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE. 530 00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:56,760 I DON'T WANNA DO THIS UNLESS YOU DO. 531 00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:02,940 BECAUSE IF WE DO THIS AND YOU DON'T FEEL IT BACK... 532 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:07,771 THEN I DON'T THINK THAT-- - THAT YOU CAN DATE ME ANYMORE? 533 00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,556 - NO. 534 00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:13,603 THAT I'D BE ABLE TO GET OVER YOU, JENNA. 535 00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,431 I JUST WANT THIS TO MEAN SOMETHING TO BOTH OF US. 536 00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:19,653 - AND IT WOULD, BECAUSE I FINALLY KNEW. 537 00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,307 I WAS IN LOVE. 538 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:22,960 BUT I DIDN'T WANNA SAY IT IN A MINIVAN. 539 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:23,700 IT'LL BE WORTH THE WAIT. 540 00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:26,050 I PROMISE. 541 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,879 - ♪ NO ONE LIKE YOU 542 00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,925 ♪ NO ONE LIKE YOU 543 00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:36,800 ♪ NO ONE LIKE YOU 544 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,541 ♪ NO 545 00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:39,760 ♪ NO 546 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,196 ♪ NO 547 00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:47,463 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... 548 00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:49,248 - I CAN'T HAVE A WEDDING WITHOUT A BASKET! 549 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,336 - ALLY'S LOST HALF HER BODY WEIGHT ALONG WITH HER SANITY. 550 00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:52,686 - CHANGE OF PLANS, DUDE, I DON'T NEED A SUIT. 551 00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:53,904 - GOOD THING 'CAUSE THIS MIGHT BE CURSED. 552 00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:55,993 LAST TIME I WORE IT WAS TO THE FORMAL. 553 00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:57,908 - WHEN YOU GOT DISSED BY THAT GIRL WITH THAT OTHER GUY? 554 00:20:57,908 --> 00:20:59,388 WHO WAS THAT ANYWAY? 555 00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:01,129 - YOU REALLY ARE THE FOOL. 556 00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:03,044 ASK MATTY. - GO TO HELL. 557 00:21:03,044 --> 00:21:04,741 - YOU DON'T KNOW? 40098

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