All language subtitles for Why.Men.Are.Clueless.2023.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.BZ]

(film reel clattering)

(dramatic music)

- [Omar] Question, how did
this all start, a big bang?

(gentle music)

How does the universe even work?

Believe it or not, these are questions

man has actually managed to
figure out some answers to.

But the answer or even
a basic understanding

of one question still seems to allude man.

What is that question?

Look at that,

walking along the water
with his sweetheart.

You know, I, anybody
who's romantic at heart

and wants a relationship

probably wants a
relationship like this one,

you know, one that has
stood the test of time.

The only question is, how?

I mean, how do you get there?

How do you develop a
relationship like this?

Well, let me tell you this.

I have no frigging idea, but
the one thing I do know is

that happiness, it's,
it's not a destination.

It's a journey, so, well,
I guess I'll go ahead

and take you on mine.

(Diane humming)

(utensils clinking)

(door squeaking)

- You're late.

(door clattering)

- I know, I know.

I had to finish writing
this article for my blog.

- You couldn't call?

- Come on, babe.

You know how I get when I write.

I completely zone out.

- Yes, I know.

Baby, you are such a talented writer.

When are you finally gonna
accept one of these hundreds

of job offers that you get
from these great publications?

- Well, you know, nobody
cares about quality anymore,

only the bottom line.

I don't wanna get stuck
writing some droll nonsense

and contributing to the
dumbing down of society.

Besides, there's only one publication

I'd be willing to work for anyway.

But unfortunately, they're
not interested in me.

- Omar, but don't you wanna
finally make some money?

- I, okay, look, I make enough
money from my blog to get by,

and I get to keep my integrity.

You can't put a price
tag on that, all right?

And secondly, you're not slick.

I know exactly what you're trying to do.

- And what's that?
- Come here.

You're trying to get me
riled up 'cause I was late.

- Well, I do like getting you riled up.

- Oh, you do, do you?

- I do?
- Okay.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.

(lips smacking)

Oh, the table looks nice.

- Mm-hmm.
- What's the occasion?

What?

(Omar laughing)

- You thought I forgot, didn't you?

Happy Valentine's Day.

- Mm.
- I didn't forget that.

- Mm-hmm.
- Come on now.

(Diane laughing)

(lips smacking)

- Better not forget that.

- Nah, see, you're not the only
one who can get people riled

up around here.
- Mm-hmm.

- But you know, I'd
rather get you wrapped up.

- Mm.

(Omar laughs)

Later, first-
- No, not later.

- Sit down.

- I wanna-
- Babe, sit down.

I have something for you.
(Omar laughs)

Sit down.

- Ah.

(Diane exhales)

What's this?
- Open it.

- (laughs) 'Kay, 'kay.

(paper rustling)

- For my favorite writer.

- Hey, this is beautiful.

(Diane laughs)

Thank you.
- I knew you would like it.

You're welcome.
- Come here, yeah.

(Diane laughs)

(lips smacking)

- Mm.

(Omar laughs)

- Okay, let's go ahead and eat.

- So, so did you get me anything?

- For what?

- Valentine's Day?

(Omar laughs)

- I, I thought you, I thought you said

you didn't want anything
for Valentine's Day.

- Omar, why would you think that?

- Because I asked you what you
wanted for Valentine's Day,

and remember, and you, and you,

you said you didn't want anything,

- Omar, it is Valentine's Day.

I'm supposed to be your Valentine?

You didn't get, make, or at
least write me something, baby?

Seriously?

- I, I, I asked you, remember?

I asked you what you wanted,
and you said, you said nothing.

That's what you, it's a, that's a quote.

- Omar, that's because I didn't want

to tell you what to get me, baby.

I wanted you to be
romantic and surprise me.

- Surprise.

Okay, okay, all right, okay,
look, look, hey, come on.

I'm just trying to lighten
the mood, all right?

I, please don't be mad at me, all right,

not tonight.
- Omar,

you didn't ask me to get you a gift.

- But I didn't ask you not
to get me a gift either.

So the, oh, wait a minute.

I, I know how I can make it up to you.

You, are you ready for this?

Check this out. (clears throat)

Right back there, I
didn't know if you knew,

is the Omar Spa, yeah, yeah.

Now, see what happens in the Omar Spa,

you pay attention now, okay,

is I'm gonna give you a
nice massage, right, right?

And then, (clears throat)
don't tell anybody

'cause this isn't supposed to happen,

if you play your cards
right, you might be able

to talk me into a happy ending.

- Omar, I'm about to go to sleep.

It's late. I'm tired.

Good night.

- I mean, you, you want me
to come with you, right?

You, are you, you really mad about the?

(door slamming)

(suspenseful music)

- Come on, T, man, we gotta go.

Okay, come on. We can do this.

(woman whimpering)

You're bleeding.

Oh, shit, shit.

Come on, babe, do it, come on.

(T-Dog groaning)

No, no.
(dramatic music)

T.

- Baby.
- Yeah, baby.

The only reason why I took that job

is so I could get you this.

- Oh, oh, oh, my God, oh, my God.

Another a finger, baby.

Baby?

Baby, baby. (whimpering)

No, he just gave me the ring.
(dramatic music continues)

(siren wailing)
(engine revving)

- [Police] Freeze, we've a SWAT on you.

- [Police] Put your hands on your head.

(gunshots blasting)

- Fuck you.

(gunshots blasting)

Fuck you.
(dramatic music continues)

Get some.
(gun clanking)

(woman screaming)
(gunshots blasting)

This is for you, T-Dog.

This is all for you, baby.

(dramatic music continues)

(woman screaming indistinctly)

- What, what the hell, C?

Man, I know you not feeling this garbage.

This is without a doubt the worst movie

I've ever seen in my life, man.

Where the hell was she hiding the AK-47?

- Yo, man, I like this movie, all right?

It's 'cause she reminds me of this babe

I used to deal with back in the day, man.

She was dope.

(friends laughing)

I don't know

why that's funny, man.
- She was dope.

Oh, man, she was dope.
- Man, give me

the remote, man.

- [Omar] You heard the trembles. (laughs)

Yeah, I know, you heard
the tremble in his voice.

- [Brian] She was dope.

- [Justin] Girlfriend,
it's, but it's cool.

(Brian laughing)

- Man, you the only cat I know
that still use pager, man.

- I only page alone, all right?

- Who's your service provider?

- Look, lots of people still
use pagers, doctors, right?

- Yeah, but you're, you're,
you're not a doctor.

- You're not a doctor.
- You're definitely

not a doctor.
- Mm-mm.

- Man, shut up.

- You shut up.
- You shut up.

- Who's that, your wifey?
- Yeah, man.

Oh, speaking of which, did you ever talk

to your boy about those tickets?

- Yeah, I did.

Um, he said they were gonna be $80 apiece.

- Apiece?

Uh, I thought he was supposed
to be getting me a deal.

- That is a deal, man.

- Fourth-
- How is that a deal?

- Fourth row, center, deal.

- B, I told you to tell him

to get me something on
the, in the balcony.

- I did, but you know, after I
told him that you were trying

to make up for not
getting your girl nothing

for Valentine's Day, he said
these are the tickets you need.

- Oh, really? Is that what he said?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, well, tell Dr. Phil

I'm good with the
balcony seats, all right?

Man, come on, man.

I can barely afford to
pay my rent this month.

- [Brian] I, I, I'll talk
to him tomorrow, all right?

- Thank you.
- Just relax.

- Hopefully, these'll keep her off my back

for a couple of days anyway.

- Oh, well, what, you and
Diane having problems?

- Yo, man, can y'all
take that conversation

to the other room?

I'm trying to watch the movie, yo.

- Okay, first of all, this is not a movie.

- No, it's not.
- All right?

This is, this is

a damn shame.
- Definitely not.

Okay?

And second of all, we
wouldn't be all up in your ear

if you got a bigger couch, man.

You got that big TV-

- Yeah, man.
- and this small couch.

- I'm hot.

- 'Cause you really ain't gotta be here.

- Oh, now we ain't gotta be here?

- Nah, I'm saying you here
on your own volition, right?

- Where else are we gonna sit, C?

- Why you-
- Where you gonna sit?

- Why you raising-
- For real,

ain't nobody scared of you, C.

I mean, what you gonna do, C?

What you gonna do?

(fist thudding)
(Brian screams)

Oh, you gonna do that?

Okay.
- All right, let's go.

- All right.
- All right, all right.

That was, that was unnecessary.

I was just playing, man.
- Yeah, yeah.

- I was, I was just playing.

- You shoulda stopped.

- Yeah, well, I'll, I'll stop right now.

- It's good.
- But next time, man,

sh, man, I can't even tell you.

Damn, man, sucker-punch me
like that, you a sucker.

- Yeah, we'll see.
- That small hat on.

And you lucky we was, we was
coming in the kitchen anyway.

- Yo, but, hey, what's
going on with you and Diane?

- (sighs) All we've been
doing lately is fighting.

No matter what I do, I can't
seem to figure her out, man.

- You're never gonna
understand a woman, all right?

What you two gotta learn how to do is

keep your bros in check,
all right? (laughs)

- Okay.

Yo, you know what else it is, too?

Now, I don't know if this has anything

to do with anything, all right?

But there's this dude at her job,

and he sweats her all the time, man.

And you know what?

He'll do it right in front of me, too,

like, like, I'm some
kinda punk or something.

- Well, what does he do that
makes you think he's flirting?

- (laughs) He talks to her.

- Okay, I'm so-

- And, and what, what, what, what else?

- I mean, what,

I mean is that it?
- It, is there more?

Is there more?
- What, what does he say?

- Well, I don't know what he says.

He'll just walk into her office
and start talking to her.

It pisses me off.

(pager beeping)

- Did you do that?

- Ah, speak of the devil.

(Brian laughing)

- See, speak of the devil was right.

See, that's the damn problem-

- That's the problem.
- with you and Diane,

right there.
- That's the problem.

- That's the problem.

- We on a-
- You, you a grown-ass man

in the 21st century.

with a pager.
- With a pager.

(doorbell ringing)

- Oh, what, what are you
like a, like a duet now?

- (laughs) Oh, man.
- Get the food, man.

- Oh, yo, yo, B, hold up.

Before you break out, man,
let me use your phone.

I gotta call Diane back.

(Brian groans)

- Yeah, my, my, you know what?

My phone is, is dying,

so when I, when, when,
when it charges, man.

- Hey, J, let me use your phone.

- Oh, man, I don't carry
my phone after auditions.

Helps me not to stress over waiting

for the phone to ring with news.

You know what I mean?

Yo, ask C, brother, I'm sorry.

- Hey, yo, C.

- [C-illa] My phone's cut off.

- That's right, Mrs. Kimball,

the closing is set for next Friday.

Okay, I'll fax these documents
to your lawyer right now.

Okay, see you Friday.

Thank you, bye-bye.

(hand knocking)

Hey, well, there's another one. (sighs)

How many is that for
me this month? (laughs)

Think somebody's sales
record might be in trouble.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

Okay, listen, I haven't
talked to you in a few days,

so you know I did not come
over here to talk about work.

- [Diane] Mm-hmm.

- How was your Valentine's Day night?

- I would rather talk about work.

- What happened?

- Omar didn't get me anything.

- What?
- Mm-hmm.

- Why not?
- Because I told him

I didn't want anything.

- Wait, wait, wait, so he
didn't get you anything

for Valentine's Day just because you said

you didn't want anything

for Valentine's Day?
- Mm-hmm.

- That is ridiculous.
- Thank you.

- Jesus.
- Thank you.

- Men.

But you know what? Look
on the bright side.

I'm sure he's trying to make it up to you.

- He better.
- And if you know like I know,

the makeup gift is always better

than whatever they would've gotten.

(Diane and Patty laughing)

- [Diane] We, we will see.

- All right, well, I'm
gonna get outta here,

but I'll catch you later.
- Okay, I'll see you later.

And don't forget to post
my sale to the board.

- Oh, okay.
- Uh-huh.

- Next to my name, got you.
(Diane laughs)

- [Diane] Thank you.

(Diane humming)

- So I saw you posted another sale.

Congratulations.
- Thank you.

- Guess that means you're working your way

up to, uh, my division.

- That's right, and you better
enjoy being number one now

because when I get there,
your spot is history.

(Leon and Diane laughing)

- So I guess I should go start prepping

for my 2:00 then, huh?
- Mm.

Oh, you're working through lunch?

- Gotta keep my spot, right?

- [Diane] Hmm.

(footsteps plodding)

(phone ringing)

- So what were you two talking about?

(Diane laughs)

(Diane sighs)

- Wouldn't you like to know?

- Oh, wow, okay. (laughs)

Okay, I mean, I, I know
you're trying to rile me up,

so I'm just, I'm gonna let that one slide.

- Omar, maybe you wouldn't be
so worried about me falling

into the arms of another
man if you did right.

Why didn't you call me back last night?

- Oh, okay, I tried, all right?

But I couldn't use any
of the fellow's phones.

- [Diane] What about when
their phones were charged?

- The, I forgot.

- (sighs) I hate it when
you hang with those guys.

- [Omar] Come on, Diane, you're friends

with all their girlfriends.

- Okay, I don't have to agree

with my friends' choices in men.

- Wow, so now, so now you
don't like my friends?

- What I don't like is that
you're more irresponsible

than usual when you hang with them.

- You know what? You're right.

No, you're right.

You're absolutely right.

Actually, that's why I
came by here today, okay?

I wanna make it up to you, okay?

Look, this is what's gonna happen.

I'm going to go to your place.

I'm going to pick out some
clothes for you to wear.

- Okay, no.

How 'bout you tell me
where you're taking me,

and I'll let you know
what to get me to wear?

- What?

Look, I know how to
accessorize, all right?

- No.
- Oh, so you gonna make me

ruin the surprise?

Wow, okay, okay.

All right, look, I'm taking you

to the Janelle Monae Musiq
Soulchild concert tonight.

- What?

- (laughs) Yeah, that's right.

And I, you know, I didn't
skimp on the seats either.

Nah, nah, um, (clears throat)

how does fourth row center sound?

- (laughs) Omar, that sounds amazing.

- Yeah, is that good?

It's not, it's not too close
or anything like that, is it?

- Okay, but, baby, you cannot afford that.

- What are you talking about?

Look, you know what?

Let me worry about that.

I got this, okay?

(Omar laughing)

Shoot.
- Okay.

Well, this is what I want you
to bring me for the concert.

(pen rasping)

(paper rustling)

- Okay, all right.

- And on the back, that's
what I want you to get me

for after the concert.

- There's nothing here.

Oh, there's nothing,

(Diane laughs)

there's nothing here.

We can, we gonna be making up.

All right.
- Mm-hmm.

- Okay.

(lips smacking)

(Omar laughs)

- Don't forget.

- Oh, I'm not gonna forget.

(Diane laughing)

Babe, look, um, in all
seriousness, I know, I know

we've been fighting a
lot lately, all right?

And I know, I know it's
been mostly my fault, and I-

- Mostly?

(Omar laughs)

- Okay, all right.
- Yeah.

- It's been all my fault.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

All right, but look,
what do you say we make

tonight our start-over night?

You know what I mean?

So but after we make up, though,

all right,
(Diane laughing)

'cause I, I, I gots to have my making up.

- All right.
- All right?

- Uh-huh.
- But after we make up-

- Mm-hmm.

- how 'bout we just wipe
the slate clean, okay?

And, um, I'll do much better.

I promise I'll do much, much better.

What do you say?

(Diane exhales)

- I can agree to that.

- Oh, you can agree to that?
- I can agree to that.

- You can, okay.
- I can agree to that.

- So, we're in agreement then.

- We're in agreement.
- That's what

that sounds like.

(energetic drum music)

(phone beeping)

Come on, pick up, pick
up, pick up, pick up.

- [Brian] What up?

This is Big B for those
that know me as that.

Um, no, no, no.

(phone beeps)

- Brian, what's up, man? This is Omar.

Listen, there's been a change of plans.

I'm gonna need those fourth-row seats.

Please tell me your boy still has 'em.

Call me back soon as you
get this message, all right?

All right, peace.

(energetic drum music)

(phone ringing)

Yo, does your boy still have 'em?

- [Caller] Uh, is this Omar?

- Oh, oh, no, no, I'm,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I thought you were someone else.

Yes, this is Omar.

- Hi, Omar, this is Terra
Sinclair from "Pleasure" magazine.

Are you there?

- Oh, uh, no, I'm still here. (laughs)

I'm still here. I'm sorry.

I, I, I wasn't, how are,
uh, um, how are you?

Hello.
- Hi.

The reason I'm calling is

because I've been reading
your blog for a while now,

and I think it's really good.

(Omar laughs)

- Yeah, well, I've actually
been a big, big fan

of your publication for
a long time now as well.

- Thank you.

How versatile are you?

- I can write about anything.

- I need a 900- to 1200-word
article on foreign sports cars

versus American muscle cars.

And I need you to explain

which ones would appeal to women and why.

Can you do that?

- Absolutely, that's not a problem at all.

I'll start researching it ASAP.

- I need it by tomorrow.

I'm in a time crunch.

- Oh.

- The job pays triple the rate

because of the time constraint.

- Triple?

Okay, uh, well,

what time would you need
it by tomorrow morning?

- How's 8:00 AM sound?

- Okay, yes, I will have it for you,

um, on your desk tomorrow
morning 8:00 AM sharp.

- Good.

(phone clanking)

(energetic drum music)

(phone ringing)

- Yo, B, does he still have 'em?

- [Brian] Yeah, yeah,
yeah, he's still got 'em.

- Oh, cool, cool, listen.

- Why, you want 'em now?
- Listen, listen.

Look, so yeah, some stuff
has come up, and guess what.

I can actually afford the tickets now.

- [Brian] You ain't
broke no more. (laughs)

- Yeah, yeah, but I can't
come get 'em, all right?

So I'm gonna need you to do me a favor.

Are you still gonna see Patty for lunch?

- [Brian] Yeah, yeah, I'm
meeting her for lunch.

What you want me to do?

- Cool, listen, give the tickets to Patty

and then have Patty give 'em to Diane.

(energetic drum music)
(fingers tapping)

Oh, dammit.

(chair clattering)

(energetic drum music continues)

- Omar.

- Yeah.
- She's gone.

- Diane left already?

- Yep. (sighs)

- I know she is so pissed right now.

Tonight was supposed to
be our start-over night.

- Well, this could still be

a start-over night for her.

- I'm impressed.

This is really good work
on such short notice.

You made compelling
arguments on which ones

you thought women would prefer.

Did you already know a lot about cars?

- (laughs) Oh, no, no, not really.

I just, um, I just, you
know, did some research.

- Terra-
- Got some...

- I, oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize you were in a meeting.

I'll come back a little later.

- That was Tiffany Nelson,
our entertainment writer.

- Oh, okay.

- Omar, how would you like
to be one of our writers?

- What, you, you, you mean
like a, like a, (clears throat)

(laughs) sorry, like a permanent writer?

- (laughs) Yes.

- (exhales) I would love it.

I mean, I've always said that "Pleasure's"

the only publication I'd be
willing to drop my blog for.

I, I love what you guys do,

but, but isn't "Pleasure"
a publication for women?

- It was.

I'm changing the format completely.

See, most publications are
either for men or women,

and I want "Pleasure" to be for both.

- Oh, okay.
- What I need is

a relationship columnist.

I'm going to add a relationship
blog to "Pleasure's" site.

- Oh, wow, wow, okay.

So, so you want me to be
the relationship columnist?

That's, uh, when do I start?

- Well, as soon as you can show me

that you have a good understanding
of women's sensibilities.

This car article was a good start.

But if you are going to be
my relationship columnist,

I'm gonna need to see more.

As you know, us woman
can be a bit complicated.

- Yeah, tell me about it.

- What was that?

- Hmm?

Oh, no, (laughs) I, no, I, I
just said tell me about it,

you know, why, why you think that's true

because I, I, I don't
think that it, that it is.

- Hmm, really?

- Mm-mm.
- Elaborate.

- Oh, okay.

(laughs) Yeah, I, I'd
love to, uh, to do that.

Um. (laughs)

I think that a relationship
is like a story, yeah.

And, um, every good story
has, has, has two sides.

Right?

You know, I mean, it's actually,
it's the, it's the duality

that makes a story good if,
you know, if it has that.

For example, you know, um,
this is, this is a good one.

Um, if, if, if your girlfriend tells you

that she doesn't want
anything for Valentine's Day,

you, you should probably
get her something anyway

or, or at least make
her something, you know,

because if you listen carefully,

you'll probably see that she
just wants you to be romantic.

And yeah.

(Omar exhales)

- I've interviewed a lot
of guys for this job,

and most of them just tell me
what they think I wanna hear.

But you brought something more insightful

in what you just said.

If you can bring that insight
to answering these questions,

the job is yours.

Come see me on Monday.

- [Rachel] Leave a message, thanks.

(phone beeps)

- Hey, Rachel, it's, uh, it's me.

Just uh, wondering if you
got the package I sent.

Shoulda been there by now.

So, um, (laughs) I'll see you tonight.

Love you, bye.

(Justin sighs)

(phone ringing)

Oh.

What's up, bro?

You got me an audition?

Yeah, (laughs) yeah, no, of
course, I'm excited, okay?

Yeah.

What?

Yeah, no, I, yeah, I don't, I don't,

I don't do nudity, Earl.

Yeah, yeah, but I don't, I
don't care if it's soft core.

I don't, I don't do nudity, though.

Yeah, of course, I like women.

Stop. I don't,

I don't do it, Earl.

Okay, thank you, bye.

(Justin sighs)

Why does this guy not understand?

I'm not taking my...
(door squeaking)

(door clattering)

- J, you need to get these
damn seats fixed, man.

- I know, man.

(Omar exhales)

Would you take your clothes off for a job?

- What you, what you talking about?

- Okay, I, I'm just, I don't know.

Man, how, how'd it go?

Yeah, nah.
- Okay, um,

oh, yeah, nah, it, uh,
(laughs) it went well, man.

She liked it.

- Okay.
- Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She liked it a lot.

She liked it so much she
offered me a job, man.

- Oh, yo, man, that's
what you been waiting for.

Come on, congratulations, kid.

- Yeah, well, you know,
something like that.

- Okay, am I missing, like,
(laughs) what's wrong with you?

- Well, um, the, the job
is not officially mine

until I show her that I have
a pretty good understanding

of women's sensibilities.

- So, like, you, you gotta,

you gotta show you understand women?

- She wants me to be a
relationship communist, so.

(keys jangling)

(engine revving)

(gear stick clanking)
(car beeping)

(engine revving)

- You know, I heard ESPN was
looking for some writers.

♪ Bitch, down ♪

(furniture clattering)

♪ Not that, I don't want
that, mm-mm, mm-mm ♪

♪ See what's in the fridge,
what's up, mm-mm, mm-mm ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, what's up ♪

♪ See what's in the place, man ♪

(Brian grunting)

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey, ah, yeah ♪

- Brian.

(head thudding)
(Brian grunts)

Good, that saves me
the trouble from having

to hit you upside the head.

What did you do to my place?

- I, I was gonna clean up.

- How did you even get in here?

I never gave you a key.

- I got a key made.

(hand thudding)

That's exactly where I just hit my head.

- I know.

- That's not how you're supposed

to treat your man on his
birthday, just to let you know.

Man.

(door slamming)

That hurt.

Girl, you hit like a man.

Ow.

Mm.

(footsteps plodding)

- Here.

- Now, see, that's much better.

That's what I'm talking about, thank you.

(lips smacking)

Now, you got a little chocolate chip

on ya there, but-
- Mm-hmm,

'cause you're eating

all the cookies.
- Here,

let's see what we got here. (laughs)

(plastic rustling)

- Uh, what?

- I'm gonna clean it up.

- Yeah, 'cause that's just.

(lips smacking)

Happy birthday.

(footsteps plodding)

(dishes clanking)

(keys jangling)

- Hey, baby.

What, what? What's the deal?

- The deal is, you were
supposed to be here, like,

I don't know, two hours ago.

- For what?

Oh, we're supposed to go out tonight.

You mad like that?

- So what's your excuse this time?

Like, be creative with it, though.

- Are you serious right now?

- Are you not?

- Okay, the truth is I tried to call you.

- [Brian] Mm.

- You didn't answer the phone.

- Mm-hmm.

- So after I hung up the
phone with you, T called.

She wanted to get together.

I figured you got into something else,

so I got together with her.

- Why didn't you leave me a message?

Why didn't you call the cell phone?

- I forgot, and you just got that number.

- I've had that for two
weeks, but is that it?

- Baby.

Honey, I'm sorry.

I'll make it up to you. I promise.

Hmm? Hmm?
(lips smacking)

Mm.

- Where was you at?

You supposed to be here.

- [Rachel] I know, baby.

(lips smacking)

- I was looking for you.
- I'm so bad.

(Brian laughing)

That's what you like about me. (laughs)

- You know you're not right.

Did you like the roses I sent you?

- What roses?

Is that what was in the box?

- So you didn't even open up the box?

You had 'em for, like, two days,

and you never even opened it?

- I didn't know they were roses.

Who sends roses in a box?

- Uh, everybody.

- I'm gonna open 'em right now.

- Don't even bother. They're dead.

Why open 'em?

I wouldn't open 'em.

I'd put 'em in water, but they're dead.

- This mother. (grunts)

(door squeaking and clattering)

(footsteps plodding)
(keys jangling)

- I don't care where or
what, but we need to talk.

(Omar laughs)
(fingers tapping)

Really?

On top of everything else,
now you're about to ignore me?

- How was the concert?

- Excuse me?

- How was the concert?

That good, huh?

Who'd you go with?

- Omar, I waited on you for two hours.

You never showed up.

You never even at least
called to offer an excuse.

And now you wanna flip this on me?

- You went with Leon.

- Omar, you never showed up,
so yes, I went with a coworker.

- Coworker?
- A coworker.

- A co, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't, don't try to sugarcoat this, Diane.

A coworker, you went with
Leon, Leon of all people.

I paid my last penny for
those tickets, Diane.

You know what?

I'm always asking you what
you two are talking about.

You always tell me nothing.

Maybe you're not talking.

You're sleeping with him, aren't you?

Hmm?

Yeah, that's what I thought,
nothing to say, huh?

Why don't you just get on out?

Step.

Diane, Diane, Diane, don't
leave, don't leave, don't leave.

- Get off me, leave it,
get off me, leave it.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, 'kay, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean, I wasn't,

Diane, look, I know we've been
together a long time, okay?

I know better than that.

I know you're not sleeping with Leon.

I know you're not.

You aren't, right?

(melancholic music)

(footsteps plodding)

(door squeaking and clattering)

(footsteps plodding)

- Damn.

What's, what's up, man?

Can't, I'm, I'm, I'm done with
these women, man, (exhales)

to let you know.

- [Omar] Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Before you take another step,

tell me how the hell you just got in here.

- I, I got a key made.

Oh, you had this on your door.
(paper rustling)

Yo, man, this is crazy, man.

You got anything to drink in here?

- [Omar] Oh, shit.

- Man, yo, I'm telling you, man.

I'm done with these women.

Patty actually had the audacity
to buy me some new drawers.

Oh, you know how I feel about my drawers.

Outside of you, Justin, and C-illa,

those drawers are like my, my
best friends, my, my soldiers.

You know what I'm saying?

Yo, I know they got a few
holes in 'em and everything,

but they're like, they're
like battle scars, you know?

You know how long it took me
to get the, the safety pin

in just right in the ones

with the, with the, you know,
elastic that's worn out?

They comfortable, dammit.

Yo, and that's not it.

Patty got me bikini briefs, bikini briefs,

man thongs, okay?

She's evil, man.

Did, did you know that bikini briefs are

the leading cause of
strangulation of the nuts?

Mm-hmm, yeah, it's not
a safe practice, man.

I don't care what you say.

Oh, why is she trying to
strangle my nuts, man?

Why is she trying to kill 'em?

- Leave her then.

- What?

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about my nuts,
and, and she's strangling-

- B, did you take a look at this?

It's a two-week eviction notice, man.

- Ooh.
- Yeah.

- Damn, that's not good.

- No, it's not.

- Not good.
- So I could give a damn

about your crusty-ass
drawers or your nuts.

I got real problems, B.

(phone ringing)

- Hold, hold that thought.

I gotta answer the phone.

It's messed up you don't
care about my nuts, man.

(phone ringing)

Yo, what's up, man?

All right, all right, coming right now.

(phone beeping and clanking)

It's Justin.

(footsteps plodding)

(Brian whistling)

(door squeaking)

Yo, what's up, man?
(hands smacking)

- Man, this, B, this woman, man.

I'm telling you, man.

I can't take it anymore.

I'm tired of this.

I can't believe this. (groaning)

I'm telling you.

- [Brian] So what's up, J?

- Rachel did it again, all right?

We're supposed to go out tonight,

and she shows up way too late.

And then, when she finally arrives,

she acts like it's no big deal.

I'm telling you, she
has no respect for me.

I sent her a box of roses,
and she never even opened it.

(Brian laughing)

Oh, okay, no, no, no, go, go, go ahead.

Just laugh, laugh at my pain.

- I'm sorry.
- That's all right.

I'm sorry, man.

It's just that you're, you're, you're,

you're more like a girlfriend

than a boyfriend.
- What?

- You know what I'm saying?
- What are you talking about?

- No, no, no, it's like you
need to grow some balls, man.

- Man, shut up, punk.
- I'm serious.

- I'm serious right now, okay?

- I'm serious, too.
- I think

Rachel's cheating on me.

- Yeah, I don't see why she's not,

but honestly, I don't think she is.

- How do you know?

- Because she woulda told Patty,

and Patty woulda told me.

She's not cheating on you.

- Well, Diane's definitely cheating on me.

- What?
- What?

With who?

- The dude from her office.

- [Brian] How do you know?

(paper rustling)

- I'm gonna tell you how I know.

It's because of two things.

First, she took him, she took him

to the concert with
the tickets I paid for,

the tickets I paid $160 for.

And he drove.

He drove. That's a date.

That is a date.

Second, and this is most damning,

is when I asked her about
it, she didn't deny it.

She just gave me this look.

- I, I don't-
- I don't, I don't see-

- I don't know what that-
- what you're talking about.

- know what that is.
- What is that?

- You know, the
I'm-so-sorry-I-can't-even-look-at-you

I'm-just-gonna-leave look.

You know what I'm talking about?

- I know what you're saying, right?

But, um, it could also be that, uh,

I-just-can't-believe-you-asked-me-that

you-should-know-me-better-than-that

I-can't-even-look-at-you-I'm-gonna-leave
look.

- So you don't think she's cheating on me?

- Me personally, (exhales)
I think it was more

of a of-course-I-slept-with-him,

remember-when-you-slept-with-Keisha,

I-can't-stand-to-look-at-your-dumb-ass-right-now

kinda look.

(Omar laughing)

- I'm glad you brought
that up, Brian, all right,

'cause first of all, I
didn't cheat on Diane.

We had mutually agreed
to see other people.

Only she got mad when I saw other people

because apparently she didn't
really wanna see other people.

The whole thing was some kind of test,

which I failed miserably

'cause I didn't pick
up on the little hints

that she didn't really
wanna see other people.

Don't just drop hints and
expect me to figure out

what it is you're trying to say.

Just tell me.

My name is not Sherlock
Holmes, (laughs) you know?

My name is not, uh, Poirot, you know.

I'm not some, some other detective.

She never says what she means, man.

- Oh, I don't, I don't
mean to be insensitive.

But remember when you said you might need

to see other type of women?

- Yeah, you, you did say that.

- Yeah, that's what I said,
but that's not what I meant.

- Oh, okay, I...

- I don't get it.

I mean, I don't.

I just, I don't understand.

- It's not there for
you to understand, man.

You know what God's
greatest practical joke is?

To put men and women together,
have them be attracted

to each other and not
understand each other.

And the funny part about it is

women think they understand us.

(Omar scoffs)

It's some bullshit, man.

- Yeah.

- Like, yo, let's, let's, let's
just look at one of these.

No, hold on.

Okay, here we go, here we go.

"The 10 Things You Need
to Know About Your Man."

(Justin and Omar laughing)

Okay, here we go.

Let's see what women have
figured out about us.

I mean, here we go.

"If you want something
from your man, ask for it.

(Justin laughs)

Let's face it, subtle hints don't work.

Strong hints don't work.

Really obvious hints don't work.

Just say it."

No, that's-
- That's, that's, that's,

that was a coincidence.
- Yeah, that's-

- That can't be-

- That's not a little, hold on.

- You know what I mean?

Let me, let me, let me, let me-

- Yeah, read another one-
- check it out.

- read another one.
- Okay, well. (laughs)

- Is that one stupid?

- All right, all right,
all right. (laughs)

(Brian laughing)

"Go to your man if you have a problem

that you want help solving. (laughs)

It's, it's, it's what they
feel they're good at. (laughs)

Sympathy is for, uh, what
girlfriends are for."

(Omar laughing)

- Okay.
- Yeah.

That's actually kind of true.
- That's kind true.

- That, that one's-
- That's kinda true,

that one, that one.
- Yeah, yeah, that one's true.

That's, that's, you know,
it, it seems to me, O,

that this article was just
written by a bunch of women

who just sat around and
discussed their men.

- Wow, (laughs) you good.

It's almost like you have
that woman intuition.

- [Justin] Man, you better get
off my back, dude, all right?

So, oh, I'm gonna rip out your heart.

- Ooh, wow.
- Yes.

- [Brian] I never seen you like-

- Yeah.
- that, man.

Only thing about it is I'm not Rachel.

- [Justin] Dude, what you wanna do?

- What you wanna do?
- What you wanna do?

You like 5'2", dude.

- Man, you just go-
- You gonna-

(Brian and Justin speaking indistinctly)

- Hey, yo, shut up, shut up, shut up.

Now, listen, the solution
to all of our problems.

I know how we're going
to figure out women.

- How man?
- What?

- By answering the questions

that the editor of "Pleasure" gave me.

- (laughs) Okay, you talking
about those questions

where you gotta figure out women?

- [Omar] Yeah.

- Good luck.
- Come on, O.

Man, you know that's a wild goose chase.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

See, that's what they
want you to think, right?

See, if you keep on thinking that,

that way they can continue
to disrespect you-

- Mm-hmm.
- and not open your gifts

when you send 'em.

That way, they can continue to put

the strangulation on your nuts.

(Brian exhales)

Now, look, if a bunch
of women can sit around

and figure out all that stuff about us,

we can do the same thing about them.

You know, we, we are
just as smart as women.

- We are.
- We are.

- We are just as smart as women.

- Yeah, I was just saying-

- Yeah.
- that the other day, yeah.

- So are you with me then?

- We with you.
- I'm with you.

- Are you with me, or are you with me?

- We with you.

- Okay, then.
- We here, ain't we?

- Come on, all right,

let's get it then.
- Let's go, let's go.

- Man, we about to do this-
- All right.

- right now.
- All right.

- Okay.
- It's so easy.

Okay, look, question number one.

- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.

- What attracts a woman to a man?

- Okay.

Mm, nah, no, no, no, that more pertains

to a puppy than a woman.

I'm, that's my bad, sorry, so nevermind.

- The hell are you talking

about, man?
- No, the idea I had.

- Puppies?
- No, it's not that.

- Ah, no, no, no, I know
exactly what we have to do.

Call C-illa.

I know what we have to do.

- (laughs) He was tripping.
(doorbell ringing)

Hold on. Somebody's at my door.

Who is it?

(door clattering)

Um, what is wrong with you?

You okay?
- Girl,

I have had it with that fool.

- (sighs) Come in. Come on.

Yeah, so you might wanna get over here.

- He asked me if I was sleeping with Leon.

(wine sloshing)

Can you believe him?

Like, when is Omar going to grow up?

He's the one that doesn't show up

and has the nerve to
get mad at me? (sighs)

Then again, what should
I expect from somebody

who has not grown as a person
since the first day I met him?

Y'all, it is like I'm in a
relationship with Peter Pan.

- Girl, when it comes to dealing with men,

we are all trapped in never-never land.

And you are asking too much of Omar.

There are certain things

that you need to understand about men.

- Mm-hmm, like how men forget everything.

It's just how they are.

They can't help it.

I think that's why they
invented instant replay

because they've already
forgotten what they just saw.

(Rachel and Diane laughing)

Like, they just saw it.

- That's actually very funny.

But I ain't talking about silly stuff.

Diane, your problem, you let your man know

how you feel about him.

- What?

- Every time she gets mad at Omar,

she lets him know how upset she is.

And then when she's not mad
at him, she's all lovey-dovey,

telling 'em how much
she loves him and stuff.

Like, what is that?

- What am I supposed to do, Rachel?

- You don't give them that much power.

You do not tell a man how you feel.

- You can't expect anybody
to stay in a relationship

with you for any
significant amount of time

if you don't tell them
how you feel about them.

- I'm still with Justin, aren't I?

And I don't have any

of the problems you two
ladies have with your men.

- Oh, no, but that's

because you make Justin
have all the problems.

- Exactly, that's how you do it.

Look, all men have something in them

that makes them want to be hunters.

They like the thrill of the chase.

You cannot let them know they got you

because like any hunter with their prey,

once they catch you,
they're gonna eat you,

and they're gonna shit
you out, end of story.

- That's actually a very good argument,

but it doesn't mean it's right.

- Look, ladies, thank you for the advice,

but I'm a big girl.

I think I know enough about men.

- Okay.
- Okay.

(Diane sighs)

- Um, what do you guys think

about me going out with Leon?

- I like it.
- Mm-mm.

- I, we, I've never thought
about Leon like that, ever,

but we had a really good time

at the concert the other night,

even though it was strictly business.

But while we were there, he
asked me out to the opera.

And even though I told him no,

I'm thinking about changing my mind.

- I do not think that's a good idea.

I think-
- Why?

- 'Cause I think 'cause I think that you

and Omar need to let
each other cool off first

and then talk this out

before you jump into seeing other people.

- Why, why does she need to wait

for Omar for another three years?

He is not gonna change.

He ain't changed yet.

I mean, he can't afford
to take her to an opera.

He's broke.

He can't even pay his pager bill.

Girl, look, you need a change of scenery.

(pensive music)

- Okay, um, what the
hell is going on here?

- Way I see it, we're about to do

some serious detective work.

Now, the answers to these
questions right here are going

to help us figure out
women, get me the job,

and, yeah, basically
solve all of our problems.

- Okay, hold on there, Dick Tracy.

What makes you think that
there are any set of questions

that are gonna help you
understand what's going

on in a woman's mind?

- Because these questions
right here were given to me

by a woman about women.

- Do the answers to these
questions apply to, to all women?

- Well, yeah, they must.

I mean, apparently, answering 'em makes me

knowledgeable enough about women to work

at a magazine for women.

- Yeah, but didn't you say
that Terra was trying to,

she, she was trying to
make "Pleasure" magazine

for, for women and men?

- (laughs) Yeah, but, but
J, how many men do you know

who've written to relationship columnists?

- I don't know nobody either.

- No, no, men don't do that.

- Well, I, I, I've, I've, uh,

I've written to, like, a couple.

- I do know somebody.
- Man, shut up.

- Man, you shut up.
- Man, you shut up.

- All right, all right, so tell me,

how are we gonna get the
answers to these questions?

- Ah, you know what?

I'm glad you asked that.

Okay, so check it out.

You know how the storm
chasers, they chase tornadoes,

they put stuff in 'em so they
can record the data, you know,

so they can understand what's happening?

- Yeah, yeah, like the movie "Twister."

- Exactly, exactly.
- I like that.

- Yeah.

We're gonna chase the storm that is women,

put stuff in 'em, and record the data.

- Where are we supposed
to find these women?

- Well, there's supposed
to be a bunch of women

at, uh, Secrets tomorrow night.

- Tomorrow night?

Can't do it. (laughs)

Yeah, no, no, no, my agent
got me a nice little gig.

- Yeah, okay, that's what's up.

- Congratulations, brother.
- See?

- That's what's up.
- My man.

- The man is working.
- Yeah.

- Nah, wait, not so fast.
- You don't understand, man.

- Yeah, you don't know this man's agent.

Um.
- Oh.

- Your agent got you this gig, man.

What, what kind of gig is it, J?

- I'm performing at an
art party, all right?

Yeah, now, listen, listen,

my agent said it's gonna
give me a good opportunity

to show what I can do.

There's gonna be some
nice little press there.

Oh, yeah, it's gonna be a big event.

- Is this really legit?
- Course, it's legit.

Y'all didn't hear about it?

- No, I didn't hear about it.

- J, are there, are there
gonna be women there?

- I don't think these
are the kind of women

that you guys wanna study, though.

- J, man, those are exactly the kind

of women we wanna study, man.
- Mm.

- Intellectual types, you know,

women with something on the ball.

J, look, look, can you get us in?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

(Omar laughing)

- All right, cool then,
cool, let's do this,

all right?
- Whoo.

- So here we go, fellas,
question number one.

Find out what attracts a woman to a man.

(mellow music)

(attendees chattering indistinctly)

(spray bottles hissing)

- Huh, at least that's,
uh, an interesting concept.

It's kind of Warholish.

- This boy needs a new agent.

- Yeah, yeah.

- That's just...

(spray bottles hissing)

- Good evening, fellas.

- Oh, don't mind if I do.

- Okay.

- Like some hors d'oeuvres?
- Nah, I'm cool, thanks.

- O, what is this?

- Yo, yo, 12 o'clock, check shorty out,

looking at the picture, whoo-wee.

- Damn.
- Wow.

- Yeah, (laughs) yeah, I'm about to answer

that first question, though.

- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, nah, see.

- Oh.
- Um,

I, I don't think that's a good idea, man.

- Why?
- Uh, well, these aren't

the kind of women that
you usually go after.

- O, what you saying?

I'm not smart enough,
sophisticated enough to talk

to that type of woman?

- Outta your league, man.
- Just-

- Man, let me tell you something.

Hos is hos. You dig?

All you got to do is get a bitch to laugh,

and she eating out your hand, you know?

- Um, that's, that's kind,

that's what I'm talking about right there.

See?
- Yeah.

- That's not that-

- Yeah, whatever, man.

Watch, look, and learn.

- No, wait, C, C.
- C, C, C.

- Come on.

I got this, man.

How you doing?

- Fine.

- You are.

I see you're into impressionistic art.

- Are you familiar with this artist?

- No, not really into modern
portraits like Lucian Freud,

but that's, I do kind of
like that new guy, Donovan,

but that's because his work is
obviously heavily influenced

by the London School, so, really,

I don't know if that counts.

(Danielle laughs)

- My name's Danielle.

- Pleased to meet you, Danielle.

You can call me C, uh, Chauncey.

Call me Chauncey.

So is this, uh, a regular event?

- Yeah, it is.

I'm surprised I haven't
seen you here before

since you're so into art.

- (laughs) I know a little something.

- Gosh, I gotta be honest.

When you first walked over,

I totally judged a book by its cover.

(C-illa laughing)

- What do you mean?

- I just assumed you were
someone you're not. (laughs)

- You know what they say
when you assume, right?

- I know. (laughs)

(mellow music continues)

- You know, you have,
uh, very beautiful legs

if you don't mind my saying.

- I don't.

Thank you.
- Sure.

So what time are they open?

- I see there's idiots as well as art

on display here tonight.

(attendees chattering indistinctly)

- Damn.

- Yo, I thought that was real smooth, man,

real, real smooth.

You, you the man.

- C, what's with the roughneck stuff

all the time, man?
- Hey, look, man.

I'm just being me, all right?

Uh, I mean, what's the
point of attracting a woman

if you attract 'em to somebody you not?

Besides, that was a smooth-ass line.

You dig?

Funny, sexy, was killing.

She just didn't understand your boy.

That's all.

- So, yo, what's, what's the
sense of being you, okay,

and you can't even attract women? (laughs)

When's the last time you
had a girlfriend anyway,

like when Clinton was in office, right, O?

(Brian screams)

Damn, man, why you gotta be grabbing

up on people all the time, man?

Hey, hey, let me go.
- Hey, uh, Brian.

- Huh?
- Why don't you go

get us some drinks, man?

All right?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Yo, they free too, right?

- Exactly, that's on.
- Okay, you want one?

- Of course, man.

- I'm not getting you anything.

- I didn't ask you for anything.

- I ain't getting you nothing.

- Gin and tonic.
- That dude, man.

- Look, all right, forget
about Brian, all right?

But, um, why you gotta be
so direct all the time, man?

I mean, that, that woman
was actually feeling you

until you asked her what
time her legs open, man.

(C-illa laughing)

You know why, why don't you
just try a different approach?

- What you know about it?

You've been out the game
for three years now.

- Yeah, yeah, that's true,
but look, I'm not trying

to say I know how to attract women.

I mean, we wouldn't be
here if I did, right?

- Uh-huh.

- Look, but what I am saying, man,

is your way doesn't seem
to be too effective.

- Yeah, yeah, I guess
you got a point there.

- So look here, man, why don't you,

why don't you try again, all right?

And this time, why don't you try being

a little more sensitive?

- Sensitive?
- Yeah, come on, C.

I know you got a sensitive side.

Remember when you were
crying watching that movie?

- Oh, oh, oh, man, I would never do that

in front of a shorty.

Females say they want
see that sensitive shit,

but they really don't, man.

- Look, why don't you try again?

And this time just try choosing

your words a little more careful.

- All right, coach, I just might.

I know what you saying.

I think I'm ready to get back in the game.

I'll be back.
- Go get 'em, man.

Good choice.

- Gin and tonic.

- Oh, thanks, man.

- Where's C-illa?

Damn.
- Mm-hmm.

- [Brian] She is fine.

- Uh, um, be sensitive, be sensitive.

Um, wow, you look like my dog.

- Uh, wait, what did you say?

- No, I mean my dog that passed away.

Yeah, she, she was so sweet, so cute.

- Oh, that is so sweet.

Come on, let me get you
a drink, okay? (laughs)

- A honeymoon makes more sense.

There's two weeks apart.

- I actually kind of see

where you're coming from with that one.

- Yeah?

- Now, that, that
actually makes some sense.

- I know it does.

I know it does.

(Brian and Omar laughing)

Oh, man.

Yo, let me tell you something.

You are the Jolly Green Giant.

- First of all, I'm not the
Jolly Green Giant, all right?

I'm Captain Vegetable.

- What are you talking about?

You, you the Jolly Green Giant.

- [Justin] No, I'm, no, I'm not.

- Hey, yo, B, B, you know what?

Why don't you, uh,

why don't you go get us
some more drinks, man?

(Brian laughs)

- It's time for that refill.
- Hey, there you go.

- You know what I'm saying?

- It is.
- It is free.

- That's, that's right.

Boy loves an open bar.

(Justin exhales)

- I'm Captain Vegetable.

- So, uh, how's the big night going,

(laughs) Captain Vegetable?

(laughing) Captain Vegetable.

- Okay, so you, you know what I mean, you?

You gonna clown me, too?
- Look, I'm sorry man,

but you, but you know, you
look ridiculous, right?

- I know.

- You need to get a new agent, man.

Look, all this, all this dude does is

get you stupid jobs like
this and extra work.

You don't even need an agent
to get extra work, do you?

- No.

- Yeah, and when he is
not trying to do that,

he's trying to get you to do porn.

- Yeah, I know, right?

Like I, I know, man, but he's
doing the best he can do.

And (sighs) I don't know, man.

I'm just trying to give him some time.

- For what?

- Because when I was trying
to look for an agent,

he was the only one that
would give me a chance.

- Yeah, so he could rob you blind.

Didn't you say he takes, like, 30%?

- I'm gonna talk to
him about that, though.

No, I'm gonna talk to him about that.

- All right.
- But he's a hard worker, man,

so I know he's gonna get it together.

(Omar laughs)

- I didn't see that.

There you go.

(Brian laughing)

- Yo, where's C-illa?

- Oh, he's, he's over
there with a Ray Charles.

- Ray Charles, what's that?

- Girl that looks good as
long as you can't see her.

- That ain't right.
- It's not wrong.

- [Brian] It's, it's not
wrong, definitely not wrong.

- B, what is this?
- 151 and, and Coke.

What, what else?

- Man, I been drinking
gin and tonics all night.

- How is that my problem?

- You, all right, you know what?

I think you've had enough.

- Yo.

- Yo, I gotta go to the bar now.

You want something?

- Nah, man, I'm cool.

I gotta get back to
work in a minute anyway.

- All right.
- Hey, y'all seen Rachel?

She was supposed to be here tonight.

- Nah.
- Nah, I haven't seen her.

- Nope.

- You ain't seen her?

- Uh-uh, man, nah, man.

(Justin sighs)

- Man, this girl, man.

- Getting kind of hungry.

You hungry?

- Nah, I'm not hungry.

I gotta do this.

- Yeah, just feel like some kale.

- Pardon me. Excuse me.

Hey, bartender, when you get
a minute, can I get, um...

- What's a guy gotta do to
get a drink around here?

- Hey, I remember you.

You're, um, Tiffany, right?

- Yeah, that's right, good memory.

I remember you, too, just not your name.

- Omar.

- [Tiffany] Nice to
formally meet you, Omar.

- Well, it's nice to formally meet you.

- You into abstract art?

- No, no, I'm just here
trying to figure out

what attracts women,

and I'm, I'm also trying to figure out

(laughs) why I just told you that.

(Tiffany laughing)

It's, wow, it's, it's
probably a good thing

that I can't get this
bartender's attention

because I've obviously
had (laughs) one too many.

- Well, if it makes you feel any better,

you seem like you have
a pretty good handle

on attracting women.

- Ah, I will prove to
you that I know nothing.

I don't know if what you just
said to me was a pickup line,

or you're just making
friendly conversation.

- Well, I will help you solve your mystery

if you do something for me first.

- Okay.

- Stand up and turn around.

(Omar laughs)

(Tiffany laughing)

Mm-hmm. (laughs)

Okay, sit back down.

Wait, wait, wait, open your mouth.

Okay, you can close it.

- (laughs) Well?

- Definitely a pickup line.

- Oh.

- Let me buy you a drink.

- Oh, you wanna buy me a drink?

- [Tiffany] I don't
think one more will hurt.

- (laughs) No, no, it's not that.

It's just I've never had a woman offer

to buy me a drink before.

- Well, don't get too excited.

It's an open bar.

- Oh, that's right.

- What can I do for you?

- Um, that's pretty good. (laughs)

Gin and tonic.
- Gin and tonic.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

(Tiffany laughing)

I don't think this guy likes me.

(Omar and Tiffany laughing)

- Gin and tonic.
(glass thudding)

- Thank you.

(Tiffany laughing)

- To the momentous occasion.

(phone ringing)
(glasses clinking)

(Omar groaning)
(phone continues ringing)

(footsteps plodding)

(phone beeping)

- Hello.

Hey, Rachel.

You're here?

Oh, um, all right then.

Uh, I'll come down and open the,

you got Diane's key?

Okay, well, uh, yeah,
just come on up then.

(door squeaking)

(phone beeps)

(tires screeching)

(phone clanking)

Hey, Rachel.

- Dammit, Omar, you ain't looking so good.

(Omar laughs)

- I've, uh, I've felt
better, that's for sure.

So, um, what's up?

What you, what you doing here?

You looking for Justin or something?

- No, I am, I'm here to
get some of Diane's things.

You all right?

You know what?

I'm gonna just come back later, all right?

- No, wait, wait.

What's this supposed to mean?

- I don't know.

She just said that she was upset,

and, uh, she didn't wanna see you,

and could I come by and
get some of her things,

so you know.

Oh.

(paper rustling)

She wanted me to give you this

and, um, to tell you that
she would never do that,

that a group of Leon's clients
took her out to the concert

because you stood her up.

(door clattering)

(hand knocking)

- What do you want?

- Look, I came to apologize, all right?

Come on.

Are, are you gonna open the door?

(door clattering)

Oh, wow, so, so now you're
not gonna let me in?

(Omar laughing)

You know what?

This is stupid, Diane, all right?

We need to talk.

- Omar, there is nothing to talk about.

- There's nothing to talk about?

Really?

Okay, well, why don't we talk
about why you sent Rachel

to my place to get your stuff
instead of coming yourself?

Why don't we talk about
why you won't let me in?

- Goodbye, Omar.

- Goodbye?

(door clattering)

Oh, oh, wow, wow, so you,
so, so you just gonna close

the door in my face like that, huh?

Okay, okay, you know what?

I'm outta here, Diane.

This is, I'm out, peace.

Hey, Diane.

Diane, are you, are you
breaking up with me?

Diane, are you break, you are,
you're breaking up with me.

You, that's why you sent Rachel to the,

(laughing) okay, okay.

That's real nice, Diane, real nice

'cause that is why you
closed the door, right?

You, you're trying to break up with me?

That's why you closed the door in my face?

I'm gonna give you to the count of three.

And if I don't hear anything
at the count of three,

then, then you consider it a wrap.

I'm just gonna let you know right now.

Can, can you hear me?

You still there? Diane, are you there?

All right, well, I'm gonna
start counting anyway.

Okay, all right, one, two.

Three's next.

Three. (laughs)

Okay, guess what, guess what.

You can consider yourself
dumped, yeah, so there.

Wait, Diane, but, but were you really,

were you really breaking
up with me, though?

Diane, look, if you weren't,

if you weren't breaking up with me,

then maybe we could talk this out, okay?

I mean, I don't, I'm out here
on your doorstep screaming,

and I don't wanna do that if
that's not what's going on.

I, 'cause I'm a little confused.

So you, nah, you know what?

Forget that.

I don't even know why I said that.

It's a wrap. I'm over you.

It's over, okay?

I don't even remember us being a couple.

(door clattering)

(pensive music)

(latch clicking)

All right, fellas.

All right, fellas, so, uh,
what did we learn last night?

- Learned you was at the
bar with shorty all night.

- Yeah.
- What's up with that?

- Yeah, yeah, nah,

she just recognized me
from "Pleasure," man.

And look, I, I have no idea
why she gave me her number.

- Well, your boy pulled a shorty

with that sensitive stuff, yo.

Oh, maybe that's it.

- Uh, well, you know what?

No disrespect, C, but, um,

I don't, I don't think that girl counts.

- What? What are you talking about?

- Honestly, man, you could've
pulled her with a milk bomb.

I'm just saying.
(Brian laughing)

- All right, she was ugly, all right-

- Yeah, yeah.
- in, in the face.

But did you see baby girl's body?

- Yo, she needed to call a doctor,

for real.
- Yeah, yeah,

'cause that body was sick.

- So both of you are saying

that body's more important than face?

- Oh, come on, man.

When you kiss a girl, you
close your eyes anyway.

And when you get up on it, look,

just do it doggy style, baby.

- All right, and look, this,
this whole conversation is

ridiculous and offensive, 'kay?

Who cares anyway?

It's what's on the inside that counts.

We know that.

- Yo, so fellas, look here.

Um, I think we need to start recording

our conversations with women, you know?

That way, when we get together like this,

we can better analyze the info.

That sound good?
- Yeah,

that works for me.
- Cool?

Well, let's jump into this next question.

Um, what arouses women?

- Skylights, recessed
lighting, heated flooring,

4,600 square feet of amazing.

- Well, I have to admit,

the view from the backyard
is very impressive.

- Well, that's just one of the advantages

of being in the hills and on the top.

(buyers laughing)

- Well, there's a lot of impressive things

to look at in this house.

(Leon laughing)

- So, uh, you got my card.

All my numbers are there.

Please call me anytime.

- Thank you.
- Great seeing you.

- You too.
- Bye.

- Nice to meet you. (laughs)
- Yeah, goodbye.

- You are such a flirt.
- I wasn't flirting, baby.

You always do this.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Excuse us.
- Uh-huh.

Wow.

So this is what premium
real estate is like, huh?

- Yeah, wow is right.

(Diane laughs)

- What?

(Leon laughs)

- [Leon] You look amazing.

(Diane laughs)

I'm gonna need to go home and change.

- You look handsome, very handsome.

- Thank you.

So this is your first opera, right?

- It is.

- Hmm, good.
- Mm-hmm.

- Because tonight's is a
particularly beautiful one.

- I'm excited.
(phone ringing)

- Oop, I'm sorry. Excuse me.

- Okay.
- Oh, it's Carl.

- Hmm.

- Give me a sec.
- Mm-hmm.

- Hey, Carl, what's up?

They wanna see it again.

That's fantastic, when?

Tonight?

Um, why tonight?

I, I, I know it's the Van Gundies, but,

because I have plans.

I know it's huge, Carl.

(Diane laughs)

You know what, Carl?

Um, the plans I have tonight,
uh, I'm not willing to break.

So just get somebody else,
(romantic music)

or have 'em call me back
to reschedule, okay?

All right, perfect, thank you, bye.

Shall we?

- We shall.

- Mm, damn, he is fine.

(Brian laughs)

(Patty laughs)

- Hey, hey, babe.
- Hmm?

- Um, (laughs) you think I'm fine, right?

- Oh, baby, you know I think you're cute.

- Um, I'm, (laughs) what I
mean is, like, you look at me

and say, "Damn, my, my
man is fine," right?

You looked at me like that before, right?

- I mean, honestly, because of the nature

of our relationship, I never really looked

at you like that, babe.

- Nature of our relationship?

What, what's that supposed to mean?

- You know, we didn't,
like, meet at a club

or out in the street somewhere.

We were friends, and then
our friendship just developed

into our relationship.

- Let me ask you this.

- Mm.

- Would you date a guy

just because he had a nice personality?

- Mm-hmm, yeah.

- Okay.

Have you ever dated a guy that you

and your girls didn't find too attractive,

but you went out with him anyway

because he was a nice guy?

- Yeah, a couple times probably.

(hand thudding)

- See, that's some bullshit.

- What?
- That's some bullshit, Patty.

Wait a minute.

You not talking about me, are you?

- What?

- You were talking about me.

- Okay, what are you talking about?

- What am I talking about?
- Yes.

- I'll tell you what I'm talking about.

A, a man wants a woman that
has some kind of standards.

You know what I'm saying?

They, I, I want you to look at me like,

"Damn, my, my man is sexy. He is fine."

Not because I'm, what, I'm a nice guy?

What is that?
- You know you sound

like a crazy person right now?

- I sound crazy?
- Yes.

- Have you heard yourself?

- Watch it.

- Well, I'm gonna go take a nap.

- You're kidding.
- This is, no,

I'm not kidding.

I'm not kidding.

- It's, it's like 12:00 in the, you going-

- [Brian] I'm, I'm sleepy.

- It's the middle of the day.
- I'm tired.

- Okay.

(mellow jazz music)

(Jennifer laughing)

- So I'm saying, you
know, that's, that's kind

of what gets me going sexually.

- Oh, (laughs) wow, Chauncey.

I've never done anything
like that before. (laughs)

I'm celibate.

- What?

- Uh, yeah, I am staying
celibate until my wedding night.

- Why the hell would you do something

that stu-pendously wonderful? (laughs)

Great, really.

Um, why is that again?

- I know this sounds corny,
but I want my husband

to give me the greatest
orgasm I've ever had.

- So you meaning to tell me
you have never had sex before,

ever in your life?

- No, not with another person at least.

- How old are you?
- 32.

- What the fuck?

Uh, how can you handle that?

I mean, 'cause it's only been about a year

and some change for
me, and I'm telling ya.

I feel like I'm about to-

(Jennifer laughing)

- It's okay.

Talk to me and don't try to play it off.

You're not good at playing things off.

- What are you talking about?

- What kind of dog did you used to have?

- Oh, no, I never had a dog.

Oh, oh.

If you knew I was full of
it, why did you talk to me?

(Jennifer laughing)

- Honestly, I felt sorry for you. (laughs)

- (laughs) Wait, you felt sorry for me?

- Yeah, I overheard that
(laughs) pitiful line

you spit to that girl asking
her what time her legs opened.

And then, I overheard your
boys trying to coach you.

- Well, so what?

You stalking me or something?

- No, you guys were just the only ones

in the place not talking about the art.

So when you tapped me on my shoulder,

I figured I'd take pity on you.

- Okay, so tell me this, now if you knew

I was acting that way-
- Hold that thought.

"SportsCenter's" coming on.

- Oh, you watch-
- Sh, sh, sh, sh.

("SportsCenter Theme")

(paper rustling)

- [Rachel] Okay, I'm back.

- Yeah, so tonight at 8:30,
we're still on, right?

- [Rachel] Yeah, we're still good.

Hello, you still there?

- Yeah, you know what?

I can't even make it tonight.

- Oh, no.
- Nah, nah.

I, I totally forgot that
I'm supposed to meet

with the girl from the show tonight, so.

- [Rachel] Okay, well, that's cool.

Do your thing.

- Yeah, we're gonna, uh,
we're gonna meet at a bar,

just the two of us. (laughs)

You cool with that?

- [Rachel] Oh, yeah, I'll find
something else to get into.

Just, uh, hit me up when you're done.

- Okay, I'll, uh, I'll talk to you later.

Love you.
- Cool, cool, cool.

(actor speaking faintly)

(phone ringing)

- Hello.
- Hey.

- You know what?

I, (laughs) I was bugging.

I'm, no, I'm supposed to meet
with that girl another night,

(laughs) not tonight.

I don't even know what I,

so if you don't have any other plans

or found anything else to do-

- [Rachel] I haven't,
so I'll see you tonight.

- Okay, cool, love you.

- [Rachel] Okay, bye, cool.

- [Brian] You think I'm fine?

- [Patty] Oh, baby, you
know I think you're cute.

- [Brian] I want you to look at me like,

"Damn, my man's fine.

My man's sexy."

You know what I'm saying?

Not, not cute or whatever-
- You sound,

You know what I'm saying?
- You sound

like a crazy person right now.

- Fellas cannot hear this.

El delete-o.

(Brian exhales)

All right, you can do this.

You can do this.

(plastic rustling)

(door clattering)

So am, am I, am I fine?

You think I'm sexy now?
(Patty laughing)

That's just great, Patty.

- I'm-
- I'll just go

take this off.
- No, no, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You look very (laughs) sexy.

- Then, why you laughing?

Don't laugh.

- Brian, I must not
say this to you enough,

but to me, you are one of the finest

and sexiest men I have ever met.

- Really?
- Yes.

(lips smacking)

You know that.

- Ah.

♪ You think I'm sexy ♪

♪ She thinks I'm sexy ♪
- See, this is

why I don't give

you compliments.
- Oh, hold on, hold on.

Hold on.
- I can't even deal with you.

♪ She thinks I'm sexy, she thinks ♪

(pensive music)

(frame clanking)

(Omar sighs)

(phone beeping)

- Hello, may, uh, may I speak to Tiffany?

- [C-illa] Call you tomorrow?
(water sloshing)

Okay.
- Bye. (laughs)

(door clattering)

- 'Kay, hold on a second.

See what we got here.

How can you handle it?

I mean, 'cause it's only been about a year

and some change for me,
and I'm telling you.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

We can't hear that.

- [Jennifer] Oh, no, no, no, no.

- No, we gotta get rid of you.

I wasn't talking about me.

Delete.

That was, I'm saying that's what I heard.

Delete.

- [Jennifer] It's better now. (laughs)

(recorder clanking)

Okay.

(knife rasping)

(water sloshing)

- Ah, so you know what you're doing.

(Omar laughs)

- I know my way around the kitchen.

- Hmm, never had a man cook for me before.

It's pretty sexy.

- Hmm.

So, uh, it's the turning you on, huh?

- (laughs) I wouldn't say all that,

but let's see how it tastes first, yeah?

(Omar laughing)

- All right.

Hey, can I ask you a question?

- Sure.

- Do you always let strange men

you just met come to your place like this?

- I mean, I guess that is pretty stupid.

(Omar laughing)

But, you know, you seem safe.

- I don't, I don't know how to take that.

Is that good or bad?

- [Tiffany] It's up to you.

- I still don't know how to take it.

(Tiffany laughing)

All right, all right, it's ready.

- This better be good.

This is the first meal
prepared on my new plates.

- Really?

You just moved in here?
- A couple weeks ago.

- Hmm.

- This is really good.

- Yeah. (laughs)

- [Tiffany] Almost better than my cooking.

- Ah, you cook, too?

- Oh, yeah.

I can hard-boil the mess out of an egg,

and don't even get me started

on what I can do with some toast.

- Girl, you, come on now.

That's not cooking.

(Tiffany laughing)

(laughs) That's not cooking.

That's, that's microwaving,
heating stuff up.

(Tiffany laughs)

- Pretty impressive,

a good cook and a really good writer.

- You read my blog?

- Terra asked me to read it,
let her know what I thought.

- Okay, well, that's cool, thank you, hmm.

- I'm really glad you called, Omar.

- Yeah, me too, this is nice.

- Actually, I have a bottle

of wine that'll go great with this.

If you'll excuse me-
- Okay.

- I'm gonna go get it
from the wine cellar.

- (laughs) You have a wine cellar in here?

- [Tiffany] Place is bigger
than you thought, huh?

(Omar laughs)

(doorbell ringing)

Oh, can you grab that?

(utensils clinking)

(door clattering)

- Omar.
- Lou?

- Well, what in the
heck are you doing here?

Are you here with Diane?

- Oh.
- Hey, who is it?

Lou, what are you doing here?

- Well, I am here for the house warming.

- (laughs) That's next weekend.

- Oh, it's next weekend, duh. (laughs)

Well, I'm a little embarrassed.

I am so sorry.

Oh, you know what?

You know what?

I'm just gonna get on outta here.

I'm gonna mosey on down the
trail and leave you guys to it.

And again, I did not mean to interrupt.

I'm so sorry.

- It's okay.
- (laughs) Yes, it is okay

'cause I'm not that guy.

(Lou and Tiffany laughing)

Okay.
- See you next week.

- You shall indeed, yes, (laughs) indeed.

Omar.

Omar, good evening, (laughs)
you, you knucklehead.

(Omar laughs)

- All right, Lou.

Yo, that's crazy, you know.

I know him too.
- Really?

- Yeah, he works security at my ex's job.

- Wow, a small world.

(Omar laughs)

- Uh, how, how do you know him?

- Oh, that's a long story.

Tell you another time.

(gentle music)

- All right, guys, will that be it?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, that's, yeah.

- What?
- Yeah, that's funny.

I, uh, I don't remember
seeing him on the menu.

(Rachel sighs)

- My bad, and also, I am sorry I was late.

I just got caught up watching my show.

- Yeah, well, at least you
called this time, eventually.

- Hey, why don't we get this food to go?

- Man, we can do that, but I
thought we would have a nice,

you know, romantic dinner and talk.

- Yeah, we could do that,
or we could, um, um,

'cause I'm not really in the mood to talk.

- [Omar] Hey, Lou.

- Omar, what can I do for you?

- Well, um, I actually came by-

- You know what?

Man, oh, man, I am so sorry

for interrupting you guys last night.

- Oh, nah, that's okay.

- Yeah?
- It's all right, yeah.

- So, so, so you and Diane, you're not,

you're not dating anymore?

- I guess not.

- Oh.
- So.

- Oh.

- Yeah, but, uh, but, uh,
but look, I came by, man,

'cause, uh, I wanted to ask you.

How do you know Tiffany?

- Oh, you kinda like her?

- I know we've been out once, you know,

but, uh, but yeah, I think she's cool.

- Oh, yeah, she's a good
woman, good, good woman.

(Omar laughs)

- Okay, well, that's good to know.

How do you know her?

- Well, you know what?

I, it's a long story.

It's kinda long, involved, and I just,

I just don't feel like getting into it.

I do not.

(Omar scoffs)

- Okay, that's exactly
the same thing she said.

Come on, Lou, tell me.
- No.

No means no.

It's complicated.

I don't feel like getting into it.

- Well, how complicated could it be, man?

What are you, her long lost
pops or something? (laughs)

- Oh, not exactly there, young blood.

What, what, you think I
look like someone's dad?

Don't be no jive turkey.

- Okay, I'm sorry, (laughs)
but Lou, come on, man.

Just tell me, all right?

Look, I'm trying to learn
more about this girl.

- Okay, yeah, I'm doing
this because I like you.

I used to hit that.

(Lou sighs)

- What?

- What, what, what, what, what?

Okay, here's the deal, okay?

I used to work security at her job.

I would see her, and one day
I just decided to ask her out,

so I walked up to her,
and, and she did this thing

where she asked me to turn
around, and she checked my teeth.

And you know what?

As they say, the rest is history.

And I wanna tell ya, oh,
we had some good times,

some good, good times.

Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

- Lou, I, I-
- Oh, and you know what?

(laughs) And you know what?

I, I was just going off on a tangent there

'cause we had some good times.

But what was I saying?

Oh, you know what?

People would never believe
that she was my gal.

And what they believed even
less is that I dumped her.

I did.

Yeah.

- What?
- Had to let her go.

Couldn't deal with her past.

- You, you, you couldn't
deal with her past?

- [Lou] Mm-hmm.

- What happened in her past?

- You know what?

I have said too much already.

And I think you are gonna
have to ask her that.

That is what I think.

(pieces thudding)
(gentle opera music)

- Check and mate, sorry.
(both laughing)

- I think you're just too good for me.

- (laughs) All right,
let's just play again.

- No.

- What do you mean?

- I'm-
- Come on.

You're getting better every game.

- I know, but I'm just,
can we do something else?

- Yeah, sure, what, what
would you like to do?

- Hmm, the roller rink
is good on Friday nights.

(Leon clicks tongue)

- Yeah, no roller skates for me

'cause it's really hard to
show houses on crutches.

(Diane sighs)

- Okay, um, why don't we catch a movie?

- That's not a bad idea.
- Okay.

- There's actually a
really good independent

playing up at Piper's Alley.

- Oh, what's it called?

- It's "A Lone Voice,"
the Attora Akapora story.

- Oh, okay, more opera. (laughs)

Yeah.

- What's the matter, neck stiff?

- Yes, from leaning over
that chessboard all night.

- Oh.

Put your foot up here.

(hand thudding)

- For what?

- 'Cause I'm gonna relax
the muscles in your neck.

Come on.
(hand thudding)

Give me your foot.

(both laughing)

- So my neck is hurting,

and you wanna give me a foot massage?

(Leon laughing)

- No, I actually do a martial
art called tai chi chuan,

and it teaches about pressure points.

- [Diane] Okay.

- So on the bottom of our feet,
there are points that lead

to channels that affect different nerves

in different parts of the body, like this,

for example.
(Dian laughing)

- That tickles.

- It's your sinuses. (laughs)

- [Diane] (laughs) Well, it tickles.

- Oh, all right, all right,
hold on, hold on, hold on.

Um.

What about here?

(Diane moaning)
And until this.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- [Leon] Yeah, I should,
uh, probably find your neck.

Give me a second here.

- Uh, no, you should probably
do that one more time.

(gentle opera music continues)

(Diane moaning)

(chessboard clattering)

(gentle opera music continues)

- [Patty] I'm gonna need you to drive

because I'm not gonna have gas money.

- I just drove over here.

- [Patty] Listen, I spent,

what, what are you doing here?

- [Rachel] What happened to Leon?

- Girl, nothing, he is really boring.

- Wait, what?
- That opera

he took me to was boring, and
then he planned on staying

in all night tonight on a Friday night.

- What?

Well, I mean, staying in
it can be a good thing.

Did he want to get it in?

You know what I'm saying?

- Rachel, we were playing chess.

- Ugh.
- Oh.

- Yeah.

I suggested going to a movie.

He wants to see a opera movie.

- Mm.
- What?

- Yeah, girl, that man is
obsessed with that music,

which actually kinda
scares me a little bit

because opera is the kinda
music that you listen

to when you're getting ready
to kill 20 or 30 people.

- You are straight.
- That is true.

- So wait, y'all didn't do anything?

Did you at least, like, hug?

- We kissed.

- That's what's up. What happened?

- Well, he goes to give me a foot massage

because my neck is stiff.

- Wait, wait.
- Foot massage?

- Yeah, yeah, long story, don't ask.

- Okay.

- Anyway, so the massage felt amazing-

- Mm-hmm.
- and we started kissing.

- What did it lead to?

- Obviously, not that much,

or I wouldn't be here now, would I?

- Mm.
- What happened?

- (sighs) There were just no sparks.

Like, I didn't feel anything-

- Mm.
- when I kissed him.

- Sparks, why are you
talking about sparks?

It doesn't need to be meaningful.

Sex doesn't need to be deep.

It just needs to be,
like, six or seven inches.

- What's wrong with you?
- That's why

I cannot deal with you.
(Rachel laughing)

- Yeah.
- Really?

- Not everything I say is off the wall.

I'm gonna go get freshened up.

- All right.
- That's actually not true.

Everything you say is
completely off the wall.

- (laughs) Kinda is.

I agree.
- Are you going

to see him again or not?

- Yeah, he wants to take
me out for my birthday, so-

- Oh, that's cute.

- Mm-hmm.

- Wait, but not to another opera-

- Girl-
- 'cause you can't deal

with that.
- No, I can't deal with that.

He wants me to see him perform at a club.

- Okay, that sounds interesting,

but what does he do, perform what?

- Your guess is as good as mine.

I asked him. He wouldn't tell me.

He wants it to be a surprise.

- Okay.
- So.

- Good luck with that.

- Why don't you come with me?

- Oh, no, I'm cool

on surprises.
- Come with me.

He said I can bring friends.

Come.
- I'll come.

What time?

- [Tiffany] Hmm, never had
a man cook for me before.

It's pretty sexy.

- I mean, how could she
be into a guy like me

and a guy like Lou?

- Maybe she just wanted
to date Lou for a while

and then realized she wanted

to date a different guy than guy.

- Nah, I don't think so.

- Why?
- 'Cause he dumped her.

- So, why did he do that?
- Yeah.

- Well, he says it's because he, um...

- Uh-huh?

- He just did. He just did.

And...

- Damn, I'm, I don't even
know what to tell ya.

- I do.

Get your little marker so you
can write it on the board.

- Uh, yeah, why, why don't
you just tell us first?

- Yeah.

- Y'all, y'all know that women have

two X chromosomes, right?

- [Justin] Yes, sir, scientific.

- All right, they, they can say

opposite things at the same time

or be attracted to two
different types of guys.

That's because the two
Xs, okay, makes them have

multiple personality disorders, right?

- [C-illa] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- And, and we can't understand them

because we have X and Y, huh?

No confusion.

We're not confused about
everything, X, X, and Y, X.

You, you know what I'm saying?

- Yeah, that actually
makes sense to me, man.

- Exactly.
- Yeah.

I, uh, you know what,
B, why don't you, uh,

why don't you just play
us what you recorded?

- Yeah.
- How 'bout that?

- Um, it's crazy, it's crazy.

Uh, we was on the couch,
we were recording,

and all of a sudden, my,
my, my, my phone just froze.

Oh, I did get Patty likes man panties.

Yeah.

- All right, C, what, what you get, man?

- Uh, wow.

(recorder clanking)

(C-illa sighs)

- Yo, what happened, man?

- You know how I get when I
play my video games, right?

I mean, it got tense.

You know what I mean?

I was losing, and then I, and I got mad.

You know what I mean?

And I just, I just (imitates
air whooshing) chucked it

across the room, man, and-

- Okay, but, but how, how are you playing

a video game with a recorder?

- Exactly, I thought it was broke.

You know what I mean?

I, I had no idea.

This-
- All right?

- [C-illa] Yeah.

- Justin, what did you get, man?

- (sighs) I mean, man, all I learned is

that Rachel doesn't mind me
going out with other women.

And she keep telling me

that she'd rather have sex than talk.

- And, and, and you have
a problem with that?

- You would think she would like to talk.

- You know what?

You're a real woman.
- Man, shut up.

(Omar sighs)

- No, you shut up.
- All right, look, guys.

Come on.
- You wear man panties, right?

- All right, look, come on.

Yo, do you understand that
this thing is due tomorrow?

All right, y'all playing.

This is due tomorrow.

- All right.

- I mean, look, look at this board, man.

All we got, oh, well, you know what?

Let me put something up
here 'cause we do have

Brian's bullshit double
X chromosome theory.

- Why's it gotta be bullshit, though?

- Because it is.

- Just think, just give it a chance.

(marker clanking)

- You should, uh, I think you should try

and buy a little bit more time, you know,

because I mean, I think we onto something,

and I know this is gonna
sound a little weird, right,

but ever since we started trying

to answer these questions about women,

I've been finding out more about myself.

Yeah, man, and, uh, I
mean, I think, you know,

something popping off
between me and Jennifer.

- Oh, you, you talking
about the Ray Charles?

- Yeah, yeah.
- (laughs) Yeah.

- Don't call her that, yo.

Her name is Jennifer.

- Okay.

- Whoa.
- She's dope, man.

I, I like her.

And I'm just gonna say it, man.

I'm just gonna put it out there.

I think, hell, man, I
think I'm falling for her.

Yo, she watches "SportsCenter," man.

- What?
- What?

- Yo, C, whatever you do, man,

don't mess that up.

- That's special, man.
- That's real special, man.

- Congratulations, bro.
- Thank you.

(Brian exhaling)

- You gonna-
- "SportsCenter"?

- You, you know what?

I'm vibing with C.

You know what I'm saying?

'Cause ever since we started
this whole question thing,

you know, I didn't really
learn anything about Patty

per se, you know what I'm saying?

But I did kinda learn that we
don't have any real problems.

You know, she makes me happy.

I make her happy.

I love that girl, man.

(Omar laughs)

- And J, what about you, man?

- You know, uh, (exhales)

I don't know.

- That's fine, man.

It's all good.

All right, so let's go ahead and try

to combine these last
two questions, all right?

Um-
- Yeah.

- Listen, you two, you take,

why don't women say what they really mean?

- X factor.
- Shut up, Brian.

- Cool, man.
- 'Cause I, just shut up.

Thank you.

I'm going to take, what do
women want in a relationship?

Got it?
- For real.

- All right.
- You got it.

- All right.

Yo, no more tearing up recorders and-

- No, no, no, no, I owe
you, I owe for that.

Hey, what you got in the refrigerator?

- I don't know.
- Let's take a look.

- All right, let's go get it.

- Yo, uh, O.

- What's up, man?

- You, um, you got a minute?

- Yeah, man.
(paper rustling)

- All right.

- Yeah, what's up?

- Um, yeah, man, I was just, um,

uh, you think I'm soft?

(Omar laughs)

- B don't, don't, don't
let Brian get to you, man.

- Nah, I mean, look,
Brian's clearly an idiot,

but he might have a point, right?

Like, I think Rachel doesn't respect me

because she thinks I'm soft.

- Maybe.
- What?

- But, but at the same time, I mean,

that's why you said she likes
you in the first place, right?

- Good.
- Because you're affectionate.

- Right.
- You express your feelings-

- I do.
- and, and all that stuff.

- Yeah, I mean, that's what she said.

She said I was different.

- So...

- I, that's what I'm saying.

I'm like, so,
(phone ringing)

I'm, that's what I'm, what up, bro?

What?

You, (laughs) you got me a
role in the new "Bad Boys"?

Oh, (laughs) oh, okay.

Earl, see, I knew you,
"Bad, Bad Boys and Girls"?

(Omar groaning)

For the last time, Earl,
I'm not doing no porn.

Uh, so you got me another job, huh?

You got, okay, so what is it?

You got me an extra part
on a radio commercial?

(Omar exhales)

You know what, Earl?

We're gonna, um, we're gonna need to,

we're gonna need to cancel
our, uh, our meeting

that we have next week for
our contract renegotiations.

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no,
we don't need to reschedule.

No, no, no, 'cause I'm not
resigning with you, all right?

It's over.

- That, peace.
(phone clanking)

(Omar laughing)

See, you shoulda done that a long time-

- I'm saying,

(paper rustling)

- [Terra] Can you call me please?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

- [Employee] She's ready to see you now.

- Oh, okay.

- Hi there.
- Hi, hi.

- So do you have some answers for me?

(Omar exhales)

- I need a couple more days.

- Omar, this magazine runs on a schedule.

There are deadlines for a reason.

- And I understand that, Ms. Sinclair.

But I am really close,

and I promise you will
not be disappointed.

- I already am.

Have it to me by first
thing Monday morning.

- Thank you.
- That's it.

(paper rustling)

(energetic romantic music)

- Very romantic. (laughs)

(lips smacking)

(vocalist singing in foreign language)

- So, uh, what do you want to eat?

My name is Brian, and I'll also be

your server for the evening.
(Patty laughing)

(Brian laughing)

- I'm really not that hungry.

- What are you talking about
you're not that hungry?

This is your favorite place to eat.

Wait, wait, wait, you're not having fun.

- Baby, I'm having a great time.

I'm just not really hungry, that's all.

- All right, you want something
like a churro or something?

- No, I don't want anything, baby.

- All right, 'cause you know
I'm about to do my thing.

- I know.
- I'm about to gets my eat on.

- Yes, I know.
(Brian laughing)

- [Brian] Okay.

- What movie do you wanna see?

- [Tiffany] I can't make up my mind.

What, whatever you wanna go see.

- Are you sure, whatever I want?

Meaning, is there a particular
kinda movie you wanna see?

- [Tiffany] No, you go ahead and decide.

Surprise me.

- All right, cool.

- I see you, ah.
(Jennifer laughing)

Get off me. Hold on.
(strikes thudding)

Knee strike, knee strike,
elbow, boom, outta there.

Out of there.

It looks like I knocked you out again.

No, go ahead.

You can say it.

What, what, who's the man?

- Okay, uh, well, what
happened in "Madden," huh?

- What?

Nothing happened?
- Mm, mm, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

- See?
- Who's the woman, huh?

- You just got lucky.

That's all.
(Jennifer laughing)

But wait, that just means we're tied.

That's all it means.

So we could play another
game to break that tie.

- Oh, (scoffs) pick your poison.

- (laughs) Oh, okay,
okay, picking my poison.

Let's see here.

- You know, you haven't
tried to convince me

to sleep with you today?

- Well, you know, you said
that like it bothers you.

- I'm not.

It's just usually you try to,

and today you haven't. (laughs)

- Well, you don't worry
yourself about that, all right?

The night is still young.

We got time.
(Jennifer laughing)

(vocalist singing in foreign language)

- Hey, how's it going man?

- Hi.
- Hi, how you doing?

- Good, good.
- Good.

- Um, can we get two for
"Blair's Hidden Agenda"?

- Oh, wait, wait, wait.

I saw that one already.

It's not that (speaking faintly).

- Oh, okay, all right, that's cool.

Um, how 'bout, uh, two
for "Nowhere to Run"?

What, you don't wanna see that?

- No, if you wanna see it, that's fine.

- No, I mean-

- That's fine.
- No, that's cool.

Uh, I don't have to see that.

How 'bout, uh, how 'bout "Fear"?

Is that pretty good?

- Ooh, I don't really
wanna see a scary movie.

Um.

- Okay, uh, how 'bout, oh, "Ruthless"?

You wanna, you wanna see that?

- Oh, wait, is that a
scary, no, that's a rom-com.

I don't really wanna
see one of those either.

- You know what, um,
if you guys don't know

what you guys wanna see, can
you just stand to the side?

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We will take two for...

(mellow romantic music)

- Patty.

- Mm-hmm?

- I thought you said you wasn't hungry.

Yep, XX factor.

- [Patty] What?

- Oh, nothing, Pat.

(gentle music)
(lips smacking)

- I really enjoy spending time with you.

(lips smacking)

(C-illa exhales)

I think we should get up from here.

(both laughing)

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

(both exhaling)
(gentle music continues)

- Uh, C, can I tell you something?

- Yeah, what's up?

You're really beautiful.

- I think I'm ready.

(lips smacking)

- Mm.

- [Jennifer] What's wrong?

(C-illa sighs)

- Ah, man, I can't even
believe I'm about to say this.

I really, really want this.

That's why this is so hard, um.

(Jennifer laughs)

- I see.

(C-illa laughing)

- No, what, what, what
I'm about to say is hard.

J, I don't want you to
sleep with me, regret it,

and then feel badly towards me.

I mean, you've been
celibate for a long time.

Let me, let me earn it.

Let's see if I'm worthy of
you sharing that with me.

All right?

I really like you,

and I think we could have
something really special.

And honestly, I just, I
don't wanna jeopardize that.

(Jennifer laughs)

- Why don't we play some more "Madden"

so I can kick your butt? (laughs)

- Let's do that.

Okay.
- Yeah, come on.

- All right.

(buttons clanking)
(whistle blaring)

Does oral count?

- You had to go ruin a beautiful moment.

- [C-illa] I was just joking.

(hand knocking)

(footsteps plodding)

(door clattering)

- Hey.
- Hey.

- What are you doing here?

- Uh, you mentioned you were going out

with Patricia tonight, and you know,

you wasn't at your place,
so I figured you were here.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Hey, um, can I come in for a second?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on.

Where are you going looking all nice?

- [Justin] I, uh, nah, I just
got invited to this thing.

- Hey.
- What's up, Patricia?

- Now, you know you are the only person

that still calls me that.

(Justin laughs)

I'm fine, thank you for asking, though.

Oh, but now let me ask you a question.

Do you like the pink or the white?

Pink or white?

- Uh, (laughs) okay, I, I, I would say

go, uh, go with the pink.

- Yes, that's what I thought.
- Yeah.

Hey, uh, uh, Patricia, do you, Patty,

do you, uh, do you mind if
we have a moment to talk?

- Oh, no, yeah, okay, of course.

Do my little top coating
in the other room.

(compact clanking)

- What's up?

- Um, you know, uh,
I've been thinking a lot

about us lately, and I think I figured out

what the solution to our problem is.

- Okay.
- Rachel, I'm not responsible

for whatever your past
experiences with guys were.

- Justin, what are you talking about?

- What I'm talking
about is that it's over.

- You're breaking up with me?

- And for some strange
reason, I don't want to.

It's like I enjoy the
thrill of the challenge,

but it's beyond that.

You know, you, you ask for the world,

and I spend my hours in the
day trying to give it to you.

And either you don't see
it, you don't accept it,

or you're acting like
you just don't like it.

You know, I, uh,

I've built up a lot of
resentment towards you.

And I'm angry.

I'm just tired of picking up the check

for somebody else's bill.

- You don't even wanna talk about this?

- Nah, we're cool.

(footsteps plodding)

- Um.
- Mm-mm, girl,

he'll be back.

- Okay.

(ball clanking)

- Yes, that's two, and
that'll be a birdie.

What'd you get again?

- I got eight.
(Tiffany laughing)

- You need to work at this game.

- Look, I was just trying
to spot you some strokes

to help with your confidence.

(Tiffany laughing)

Tiffany, can I ask you a question?

- Yeah, go ahead.

- Why didn't you tell me
that you and Lou used to date

when I asked you how
you two knew each other?

- I guess I'm not in the habit of talking

about old boyfriends
with potential new ones.

- Okay, I guess that makes sense.

What doesn't make sense
to me is, is, well, Lou.

I mean, he doesn't exactly
seem like your type.

- Why, because he's so different from you?

Lou is different than most people.

- (laughs) Yeah, you got that right.

- I like a guy who's
confident in being themselves.

Lou obviously is, and so
am I, so we hit it off.

We started talking. That's it.

Anymore questions about my past, Columbo?

(Omar laughing)

- Yes, actually, um,
(Tiffany laughing)

well, you know, since
you bring up your past,

Lou told me that he
dumped you because of it.

Is that true?

- You know, honestly, I
don't feel like talking

about my past with you.

- Why, have you got something to hide?

- Let me ask you a question.

If you answer it honestly, feel free

to ask whatever you want about my past.

- Okay.

- Do you really wanna learn
more about me as a person,

or you just wanna figure
out why Lou dumped me?

- Isn't that the same thing?

- No, it isn't.

When you figure it out,
we can talk about it.

(wistful music)

(page rustling)

(plastic rustling)

(hand knocking)

(door clattering)

- Omar?

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Diane, we, we really need to talk.

- Okay, um, but now really isn't-

- Oh, yeah, yeah, no, no.

I know you probably have plans tonight.

Happy birthday, by the way.

- Thanks.
- I just wanted to come by

and-
- Hi.

- Hey.

(lips smacking)

Thanks.

Um.

Um, Leon, you remember
Omar. (clears throat)

- Oh, yeah, how you doing?

- I'm fine, man.

(Leon laughs)

And, um, that is a nice flower-

- Thank you.
- you got her there.

- Actually, it's two.

- (laughs) So it is.

Wow, you must really be
crazy about her, huh?

Hmm, yeah, I was just here (sniffing)

wishing her a happy birthday
with this big old bouquet

of flowers, (laughs) you know?

And then, oh, and then with
red being her favorite color,

I-
- Really?

Actually, I think yellow
is her favorite color.

(Omar laughing)

- Yeah.

Diane, would you fill this man in

on what your favorite color is, please?

- Yellow.

Red's my mother's favorite color.

- Oh, really?

- I got you something else.

(Diane laughs)

"The Essential Charlie Parker."

- (laughs) I love Charlie Parker.

- [Leon] I know. (laughs)

- You do?

- How did you know that?

- (laughs) Because you're always humming

"If I Should Lose You."

I think it's track number two.

- Hey, you know what?

I, I gotta go.
- Okay.

- Yeah.

So, um, yeah, oh, here.
(plastic rustling)

Hope you enjoy 'em.

Uh, sorry about the color mix up.

I, uh...
(pager beeping)

- Oh, wow, is that a pager? (laughs)

Do they still make those? (laughs)

I didn't think they still
made those things. (laughs)

(Omar laughing)

- Yeah, they're still out there.

- Wow.
- So, um, yeah, look,

I gotta go.

Um, you two, you have-
- Omar, wait.

- (sighs) Can you put
these in water, please?

I need to talk to Omar

for one second.
- Okay.

- You know what?

Nah, nah, nah, Diane, it's cool.

You two, you two, you go out

and do whatever you had planned, you know?

You have fun.

- Omar.
- Nah, it's cool.

I'm being paged, (laughs)
you know, so I gotta go.

Um, happy birthday.

(mellow jazz music)

- This band that's playing is pretty good.

- Mm.
- What are they playing?

It sounds familiar.

- Yeah, it sounds a lot
like "If I Should Lose You"

by Charlie Parker.
- Mm.

Don't you like him?

(Diane laughs)

- What is so funny?

(audience cheering)

- Okay, let's give it up one more time

for the Midtown Three.

(audience cheering)

- [Spectator] Yes.

- So y'all ready for the next performance?

- [All] Yes.

- Okay, then let's get ready
for some jazzy stylings

from my man, the real estate agent.

- Yeah, told you

he was boring.
- What?

- My man.
(hands smacking)

So how's everyone doing tonight?

- Whoo.
- Good.

- Yeah, yeah.
- All right.

So, um, I would like to
dedicate this performance

to a very special birthday
girl who's sitting right here.

(Patty laughs)

This is a little something, something

I put together just for you.

Happy birthday, Diane.

You guys gimme a little
something in, uh, D minor,

sexy, you know?

(finger snapping)

So I call this "Anything You Want."

Ah, yeah.

♪ Anything you want from me ♪

♪ Ooh, baby, you gonna see, oh ♪

♪ I'll give you anything you want, whoo ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, baby, yeah ♪

♪ Tonight, tonight, listen ♪

♪ I need to be sure that
we know what we're doing ♪

♪ 'Cause I, I trust you
with my heart, baby ♪

♪ This good thing we got, whoo ♪

♪ I know that you got ♪

♪ And I'm gonna give you
everything you like, whoo ♪

♪ Tonight, whoo ♪

- Call Omar tomorrow and
get back together with him.

You cannot be staying with this dude.

- Mm-mm,

I'm not gonna let you.
- What the hell?

♪ I'm gonna give you diamond rings ♪

♪ I'm gonna show you everything tonight ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

- [All] Check.

(doorbell ringing)

(door clattering)

- Hey, I finally figured out

what you were talking
about at the golf course.

Wanna talk about it?

Are you still laughing?
- (laughs) I just-

- You still laughing about this?

- I'm sorry.

What? What?

You want me to feel sorry for you, Omar?

- A little bit.
- Uh, you were

with this girl for how long?

(Omar sighs)

- Three years.

- Three years, and you still don't know

these things about her.

Like, that's funny.

You should be laughed at.

(Omar laughs)

- That's cold.
- Not to mention-

- That's cold
- the fact that we're talking

about your ex-girlfriend right now.

Like, I thought you wanted
to come here tonight

to talk about what happened between us.

- All right, look, for real, that's, um,

that's, that's, that's what
I'm telling you about tonight.

All right, because I realize
that, I realized tonight

I'm selfish in relationships.

You know what I mean?

Like, I don't, I don't pay attention

to the person I'm in a relationship with.

That's why I didn't know what
Diane's favorite color was or.

(Omar clearing throat)

Look, to answer your question,

I wanted to know why Lou dumped you

because I wanted to
know why Lou dumped you.

I wasn't trying to learn more about you.

- Mm.

I appreciate your honesty,
and a deal is a deal.

I told you I'd tell you why Lou dumped me.

He dumped me because-

- No, no, no, wait, wait.

I don't, I don't even wanna know.

- Hmm?

- Besides, I should
probably start learning more

about who you are now
before I start worrying

about who you were.

- Oh, that's really sweet.

I don't know what to say.

- I tell you what.

- [Tiffany] Mm.

- Don't say anything.

(lips smacking)

- Stop.

- Why? What's wrong?

- Omar, I really like you,
but we spent the whole night

talking about your ex-girlfriend.

- So?

- So obviously, you're not over her yet.

- No, no, I'm over her.

That's, that's, that's-
- No.

Omar, you're not.

I could see it in your eyes the way

you were talking about her tonight.

And now that you know where you messed up,

I think maybe you should give her a call

and try to work it out.

(plodding guitar music)

- [Brian] Yo-ho, this is me, Brian.

And I don't have anything
else for you except more proof

that my double X theory is dead on.

Call me.

- [C-illa] Yo-ho, I paged you earlier.

Where you at?

Anyway, listen man, I got it.

You need to tell those
people over at "Pleasure"

about the scheme you put together,

and you managed to get your
boy into a great relationship.

- Good, I'm looking forward to it.

Thank you, uh-huh, bye-bye.

(phone clanking)

Okay, you can send him in.

Mr. Baker, I was expecting an email.

You didn't have to bring it in.

- I know, but, um,

(paper rustling)

I wanted to do this in person.

- 'Kay, let me see it.

(paper rustling)

This is a letter declining the job.

- Yeah, I couldn't answer your questions.

(laughs) As a matter of fact,

the more I studied
relationships trying to find

the answers to those questions,
the more confused I got.

I mean, I have one friend who's
a complete and total slob.

I mean, he names his underwear,

which he's had for 1,000
years, refuses to get new ones.

Yet he's been in a happy,
problem-free relationship

with the woman who is the
complete opposite of all of that.

I have another friend whose
woman treated him like crap,

apparently, because, I don't know,

he, he didn't treat her like crap.

And then I have a friend
who fell for a woman

who is the complete and total opposite

of everything he ever
said he wanted in a woman,

although she does watch "SportsCenter."

Wow, "SportsCenter."

- And?

- Oh, (sighs) sorry.

And then there's me, who has
this beautiful, intelligent,

funny woman, really likes
me, and I, I really like her.

Yet I, I can't get off a woman

who I was in a relationship
with for years.

And I never learned her
favorite color or the name

of a song she is always humming.

As a matter of fact, I learned
more about myself trying

to answer those questions
than I did about women.

And I think that, when it
comes to relationships,

you just have to know, be
happy with who you are,

and let everything else
take care of itself

because as far as I'm concerned,

there are no real answers
to those questions.

I mean, some things just,

just aren't meant to be figured out.

And the mystery of human
chemistry is one of 'em.

I know that's not what you wanted to hear,

but I just wanted to come down

and thank you for the opportunity

and apologize for wasting your time.

- You're right, Omar.

That's not what I wanted to hear,

but that's what I wanted to read.

Omar, there are two words

that answer those
questions that I gave you.

You wanna know what they are?

- Yes, what are they?

- It depends.

It's that simple.

Everyone I have interviewed
for this job feels

like they have to have all the answers.

And that's how most
relationship columns come off.

And that's why I wanted to hire someone

who's never done anything
like this before.

So I have one more question for you.

- [Omar] What is it?

(paper rustling)

- Should I keep this,
or do you want the job?

(Omar laughing)
(bright music)

- Oh, no, I want the (laughs) job.

I want the job.
(Terra laughing)

- Well, let me be the first to welcome you

to the "Pleasure" family.

- Oh, thank you.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

(hopeful upbeat music)

(hand knocking)

Hey.
- Hey.

- We need to talk.

Thanks for coming out here with me.

I think we're really gonna be able

to have something special now.

You know, for the first time
in three years, we just,

we just sat down and really
talked to each other.

- Mm-hmm.
- You know.

I mean, I, we realized
we just didn't have, um,

chemistry, you know?

I mean, look, the only time I ever acted

like a boyfriend was when
I was trying to make up

for something I did wrong or,

(Tiffany laughing)

(laughs) or show up Leon, you know.

- Mm, mm, mm.

- We really like each other.

We do, but, um, we realize
we're better off as friends.

So I am now really ready to move on.

- Okay, so what do you wanna do?

- Well, you know, I figure
since I'm really ready

to move on now, why don't
we go back to your place

and pick up where we left
off with that kissing?

How does that sound?

- Oh, I gotta say no for three reasons.

- Ah, man.

- First, it's too soon.

Second, we work together now.

And third, you suck at golf.

- Oh, wow.
(Tiffany laughing)

So just like, okay, so you're
just gonna embarrass me.

Okay, I see how we're doing.

- Check this guy out.
- Oh, check this out.

- How doing good, man?
- Uh, good, man, good.

Uh, you know what?

Do you want some? I'm gonna buy some.

- No, thanks, I'm all right.
- No, sure?

Okay, all right, one bag please.

- $2.
- Okay.

(bag rustling)

(Omar laughs)

You know, let me get two.

- Two?
- Yeah.

- There you go.
- All right.

- Have a good day.
- Thanks, you too.

- This is the first time
I've had a second date

with someone I've met
on loveconnection.com.

- Me too.

- Well, I hope it works out

because I'm no good at
that relationship stuff.

- Me neither.

(mellow music)

(mellow music continues)

(mellow music continues)

(mellow music continues)

(mellow music continues)

(mellow music continues)

(mellow music continues)

(gentle music)

(gentle music continues)

(gentle music continues)